Facebook status history as far back as it went

Apparently since they went to the "New Look" Facebook a few weeks back you now can't go right back to your very 1st status any more, I think this is missing at least 2 yrs worth.

Raymond Arthur Dent briefly panicked as he felt himself going mad. Then remembering the famous words on the cover of the Guide he relaxed slightly accepting the fact that if he was going mad at least the journey wasn't a long one and the destination was vaguely f (Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:18:42 GMT)

Raymond I took a note, sawtooth wave, right off this pantomime 4, ran it back here, re-jammed it through itself, looped it back, mixed it with the sound of this crab committing suicide, and let it stew in its own reverb for about three hours, right? And then I pu (Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:25:45 GMT)

Raymond SPOONS! (Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:57:53 GMT)

Raymond Sree. Really sweet or truly creepy little bastard? YOU DECIDE! (Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:49:40 GMT)

Raymond give her my best buddy ;-) having it anywhere special? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:35:27 GMT)

Raymond Its 3864.49 miles to Chicago (I looked it up on Google), I've got no cigarettes (well I don't smoke), Its not dark and I'm wearing sunglasses. Hit It! (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:06:00 GMT)

Raymond Wolfpack wonders #1:- Today I wonder how many remember Carolines Plastic Hedgehog? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 16:39:37 GMT)

Raymond Sad Cafe once sang that every day hurts. Isn't that what painkillers are for? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:42:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, please stop putting ppl down as different ppl on chat when its the same person on different lists. You annoying bastards, please learn to recognise the same name in different lists. The code can't be THAT fucking hard can it? (Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:29:42 GMT)

Raymond Its my duty to tell you you aren't funny, you've never been funny, your simply an arsehole on Facebook. Whoever you are. ;-p (Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:05:45 GMT)

Raymond Today Jack Daniels sent me a barbeque marinade brush. For free. I like when they give me presents ;-) (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:28:25 GMT)

Raymond You know its too hot when:- Theres sweat pissing out of every pore, your stuck to your chair & its too much effort to stand. Kind of like right now in fact. Iceflow nowhere to go, trapped in the blinding whiteness of the tundra, OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 21:35:31 GMT)

Raymond Todays sentance to teach Sree "I'm a creepy little shit". And now repeat. (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 22:24:00 GMT)

Raymond Dear Brian, we're REALLY sorry about the Belgian Communist thing. It was just Nick & Bill pissing about like they do. Your lawyer told us the food isn't THAT bad & The Embassy there say someone will look into your case. We promise never to do it again. (Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:21:08 GMT)

Raymond I guess everyone else who updated their Lenova M series to put a PCI graphics card in it had already updated their PSU then. Why didn't they fucking mention that or did they not think it might be helpful to other owners? (Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:05:30 GMT)

Raymond A man once said "Life is never enough, but its all you get". Profound guy. (Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:36:17 GMT)

Raymond I've put my profile picture back to an image of me so if I've recently requested to be your friend you can see who the bloody hell I am. Its just me. Hello! (Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:42:27 GMT)

Raymond So the idea is Deep Thought was a fake, theres been about 500 of them & Earth has never actually been built, its just a virtual mock up which the Golgafrinchams constantly fuck up before it gets properly started. I bet its better than any idea that twat (Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:23:11 GMT)

Raymond Ford ranted & boggled at the prospect of Zaphod getting things right. Ford didn't mind boggling, it was painless & burned very few calories. He actually believed it made his hair look nicer afterwards too which was a bonus. (Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:56:20 GMT)

Raymond Tunes to rock out to :- Thalamusik (Zzap64 Megatape version). Yes. Its STILL that good even after 22 years! Rob rocks the Fairlight (well a Yamaha CX5M, linked up to an Akai S900 Sampler) just like Tangerine Dream in Le Parc. (Thu, 16 Jul 2009 01:09:08 GMT)

Raymond Tunes to rock out to :- Thalamusik (Zzap64 Megatape version). Chris Abbot, your 2k remix. Also very good ;-) Or the Hawkeye music, muchos gracias Jeroen Tel. Or the Armalyte music, thanks to Martin Walker. Creators of sonic soundscapes, squeezing the SI (Thu, 16 Jul 2009 01:20:37 GMT)

Raymond White hole spewing time, engines dead, air supply low, advice please. Everybodies dead Dave. (Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:11:14 GMT)

Raymond Isn't odd how Charlie has been allowed to take the joke too far practically every day since he entered without anyone lifting a fucking finger but Rodrigo fights back just once and Big Brother shits on him within seconds. Double Standards much BB? (Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:01:37 GMT)

Raymond I can do this really great magic trick where I turn money into beer then beer into urine. I can do it every time too, its spectacular ;-) I've got this other one where I turn vodka into a headache but I don't perform it very often. (Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:45:22 GMT)

Raymond Solved the mystery of the faulty negative scanner, stupid thing thinks its broken when in fact the negative thingy was upside down. Piss poor bit of programming if it can't recognise that methinks? Prepare for scanning & photo upload mayhem. Quite slowly (Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:53:03 GMT)

Raymond Agfa, a company run by Germans who claim to be super efficient. Shame the buggers can't write a simple piece of software that'd detect a negative insert was upside down on a scanner bed. Time to do some reverse engineering I think. (Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:50:01 GMT)

Raymond This is Big Brother. Housemates, if anyone hears Rodrigo complaining about anything they must immediately kick him in the bollocks. I say again, today is Kick Rodrigo In The Bollocks Day. Any Housemate not kicking Rodrigo in the bollocks for complaining (Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:18:50 GMT)

Raymond Is counting the days until his RADEON 9250 graphics card arrives. So long Intel GMA onboard chip that lagged my machine to hell. (Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:49:20 GMT)

Raymond is having fun with silly sore throat. Need alcohol to kill it. (Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:44:45 GMT)

Raymond The FBI have recently announced the creation of the Witless Protection Scheme. If your too stupid to survive they'll come and take care of you. (Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Its scary to be woken up by a voice behind you in your ear asking "What you doing?" especially when your the only living thing in the room and theres nothing behind you except a wall. (Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:17:18 GMT)

Raymond Hurry up and arrive graphics card! (Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:17:48 GMT)

Raymond Can't believe its been 7 days since Kongregate upped a new game with badges. (Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:36:42 GMT)

Raymond has written a definate end for his Hitch Hikers fan fiction. Now to do the tricky bit, getting the end and the start to meet. (Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:09:29 GMT)

Raymond New graphics card fitted. Stunned how ATI don't automatically install contrast & gamma controls. Apparently their classed as "Advanced" settings. I thought they'd be part of your defaults? Now I just need to play Pirate Defence to check its power. Then (Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:05:34 GMT)

Raymond Has been playing several levels of Portal, now I know what the game looks like at a decent speed when its not crashing! Meaning the good news is the Radeon 9250 does the job it was brought for. Out fucking standing! (Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:57:30 GMT)

Raymond Is now stuck on level 15 of Portal. (Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:56:16 GMT)

Raymond is wondering if we will finally find out Miss Weaver is a T1000 in the last episode (Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:50:28 GMT)

Raymond Christopher Robin Got up in the morning, The sneezles had vanished away. And the look in his eye Seemed to say to the sky, "Now, how to amuse them to-day?" (its the best bit of the whole poem) ;-) (Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:55:57 GMT)

Raymond And the winner of this years WFOF (Weirdest Friend On Facebook) is.................. (Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:05:36 GMT)

Raymond British Immigration officials are running a new trial with potential applicants coming from America. Those wishing to apply for British Citizenship are shown a photograph of Ryan Seacrest, anyone able to identify him is immediately deported back to America. (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:14:52 GMT)

Raymond Death In The 80's the new EP coming soon from My Linkin Green Matchbox, the newest Emo Super Group. (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:00:13 GMT)

Raymond Never ever bloody anything ever. Words to live your life by (according to Mr Jolly Lives Next Door by The Comic Strip Presents) (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:08:07 GMT)

Raymond If you play Farmville make sure you become neighbours with everyone you now who also plays it & visit their farm to offer help & send gifts every day for more & quicker money ;-) (Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:30:42 GMT)

Raymond That Olympic Torch Message you all keep forwarding? Its a fake. Just copy a couple of lines from it and paste them into Google. Like I did in fact. (Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:09:04 GMT)

Raymond For those putting their birthdays on that "Calender" application read this "will let it access your Profile information, photos, your friends' info and other content that it requires to work.". I'd recommend you remove your info and stop using it. Basically your allowing it to steal anything it wants. (Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:36:01 GMT)

Raymond "Please do not give the staff sharp objects as they may use them on you". One of the many signs we were forced to take down off the OMDC door. We thought it was funny, the Air Commodore didn't. Humourless twat. My personal favourite sign we were made to take down? "The answers NO! Now whats the question?" (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:52:39 GMT)

Raymond "We're gonna need a bigger boat" was actually an ad-lib they kept in. True fact. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:52:20 GMT)

Raymond For some reason Farmville won't load. Annoying because I have some strawberries to harvest. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Sorted. And the solution was? Close browser, go elsewhere then come back again. Loaded 1st go then. Jobs a good 'un. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:41:38 GMT)

Raymond Sold everything. Trees, animals, tractor. Still couldn't afford to plant a whole 16x16 field of pumpkins. Roll on the European Subsidy Grant in Farmville, billions of coins for doing stuff all because some EU suit says so ;-) (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:52:21 GMT)

Raymond David Guetta must think the British are right prudes, everywhere else in the world his title is ok yet here we have to have a version called Sexy Chick? (Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:07:50 GMT)

Raymond Hmmm. Virginmedia's news server is down I assume? Mr Horton? (Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:17:54 GMT)

Raymond You really can never go back & heres why:- RAF Swinderby=Demolished. RAF Hereford= Army Property. Command Supply Registry=Renamed. Cmd R&D Registry=B Block Demolished. CRE (Airfields)=Moved to RAF Benson. Air Staff Registry=B Block Demolished. HQSTC=Now HQAir. The only place left I used to work in is a smegging hole in the ground. Everywhere else has either been flattened, flogged or renamed. (Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:58:05 GMT)

Raymond Discovered the arrows do work & planted something different (and expensive) today. Went for Chilli Peppers. And if I've sent you several reminders to be my Farmville neighbour & you ARE playing it please accept? (Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:56:00 GMT)

Raymond Can any of my friends playing Super Slot Machines please send me some free credits? (Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:41:13 GMT)

Raymond Guess who discovered the 2nd & 3rd pages of ribbons & earnt several without really trying ;-) (Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:06:48 GMT)

Raymond Like Red Dwarf or Scrapheap? Missing Robert "Kryten" Llewellyn on your telly? Then fear not, he's doing a new show online called Carpool which can be found on his webpage here:- llewtube.com (just add the W W W bit without the spaces as status wont let you post weblinks) (Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:09:59 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to my friends who signed up to support Honour Our Troops. It means a lot, thank you. Today you're free to choose what clothes you wear, what hours you work & what time you wake up. You have all those freedoms because others fought for them. People who all have to wear the same clothes, work the hours their told to & get sleep where its possible. No matter where, no matter why:- Honour Our Troops. (Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:16:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Friends; when sending gifts please try & send a different 1 every day. Theres a ribbon for it you know? (Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:09:54 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Friends; when sending gifts please try & send a different 1 every day. Theres a ribbon for it you know? Btw, it seems no-one will be getting a reward for my full completion of the Green Thumb Ribbon as it failed to publish when I earnt it. I don't know why. (Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:24:10 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, level 26. (Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:12:57 GMT)

Raymond How the bloody hell did I get Fan Check as an application when I have NEVER used it? Its been removed, if anyone has tagged me on it I'd appreciate you removing that tag. (Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:22:20 GMT)

Raymond REAL WARNING! Even LOOKING at fucking Fan Check will install it as an application on your Facebook page. If you get ANY Fan Check messages or picture notices do NOT open them. It can easily be removed by deleting it off your applications page. I strongly urge EVERYONE using it to do so. (Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:34:43 GMT)

Raymond Well it took something like 25 attempts but I finally got the modem to even acknowledge the fact Facebook DID exist. Bizarre how it'd access almost every other page (although it got funny about Kongregate too) but it finally worked after upgrading Firefox. Don't do it again thought Virginmedia. Broadband is supposed to be ALWAYS on. (Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:26:23 GMT)

Raymond It turned out to be a UK wide issue, routing problems to US based sites from the UK. At least they fixed it pretty quickly. (Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:56:49 GMT)

Raymond Is it just me or is the Farmville server sync totally f**ked? (Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:56:00 GMT)

Raymond Ok so not only is the Farmville server screwed Bejewelled Blitz has lost all my best scores. WTF? Is anyone else having problems with these 2 games? (Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:39:31 GMT)

Raymond Interesting tip to harvest stuff faster on Farmville. Put your farmer in the middle of an unused square & surround him with haybales. Because he can't walk anywhere the system will harvest stuff right away no matter how far it is from him because he can't reach it. (Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:01:56 GMT)

Raymond only has 12 ribbons left to earn on Farmville. Gonna need some more friends to earn at least 2 of them though. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:20:39 GMT)

Raymond is about to review the TNA sunday PPV No Surrender & would appreciate no interuptions for about 90 minutes. Evi & Andrew in ICT, C O M P U T I N G. lol ;-) (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:30:54 GMT)

Raymond Having a break from the PPV review to eat my tea (done) & watch The Gadget Show (in progress), I gotta have my weekly fix of Suzy Perry. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:35:56 GMT)

Raymond Meanwhile, back to the reviewing. I am HATING this main event, it be shyte. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:27:25 GMT)

Raymond Farmville buildings, apparently utterly USELESS because you can't build them on your farm. Why the hell not? In other news:- Jim Cornette fired, Angelina Love "Future Endeavored". Thats the kiss of death, she's off to WWE then. Odds on her going to either OVW or ECW if shes really lucky then getting JTTS status. How sad. (Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:04:16 GMT)

Raymond Would be overjoyed with bliss if WWE finally decided to either pay him money or give him onscreen credit for creating the name "Air Bourne". Also TNA I'd like the same for creating the name "Lethal Consequences". Yes, I KNOW I told you to steal them but at least give me credit for them? Is it much to ask? (Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:28:57 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, DEFINATELY completely screwed up. I click the button to visit a neighbours farm so it loads up one of the slot machine games? Now THATS what I call broken! (Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:25:44 GMT)

Raymond The terrible thing about being up to date is I now have to wait a week for more Heroes & House. Well 5 days. And I can't even talk about either show without spoiling it for everyone else. (Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:22:01 GMT)

Raymond So Facebook chat must be completely fucked, it keeps crashing my browser with runtime errors. (Sat, 26 Sep 2009 05:01:11 GMT)

Raymond Wonders why mouse wheel zoom suddenly stopped on Farmville yet when I left Facebook & came back 10 mins later it was suddenly working fine again? (Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:20:01 GMT)

Raymond Thinks these elephants better produce something cool worth a lot of money or I'm selling all 7 of them. Yes Facebook friends, 7 of you sent me a fricking elephant. (Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:14:03 GMT)

Raymond Has the Shutterbug Achievement been totally removed from everyones Farmville? (Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:27:43 GMT)

Raymond Experienced some sort of power brown out @ 3:34am, wasn't strong enough to take the lights out but it did reset the computer. No clue what caused it though, if your clocks are screwed in Coventry thats why though. (Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:41:07 GMT)

Raymond If my farmville friends are going to send me a hedge make sure its not a cow, pig, duck or horse. I already have them. (Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:28:06 GMT)

Raymond Has the following Farmville Topiaries - Horse, Cow, Pig, Duck, Bunny, Elephant. So send me something different? (Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:45:05 GMT)

Raymond FFS Farmville creators, can't you make it quicker to buy multiple animals? And isn't it about time we were able to buy effing fuel with our earned coins too. Get rid of this FV money, its rubbish & takes forever to earn. Either everything can be paid for using coins or just bin the game. (Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:07:45 GMT)

Raymond Thinks they just don't make technology to last any more do they? I reckon my burner is on its last legs after only 4 yrs, hoping a Firmware flash will give me a bit more time (Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:40:57 GMT)

Raymond Would like to say hello to all his newly inherited random Slots & Farmville friends ;-) Let me know which you are? (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:16:08 GMT)

Raymond Hi new friends! Please remember to PM or comment back on which game (farmville or superslots) I have added you for so we can both be earning extra XP or credits. thank you! (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:30:12 GMT)

Raymond Hi new friends! Please remember to PM or comment back on which game (Farmville or Superslots) I have added you for so we can both be earning extra XP or credits. Also keep an eye on your requests, thank you! If you already added me as a Farmville neighbour or pm'd back you can ignore this ;-) (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:51:09 GMT)

Raymond Would like to remind those people he's sent a Farmville neighbour request to please accept it. One of you is going to win me that red ribbon ;-) (Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:40:51 GMT)

Raymond To those I've sent a Farmville request to please remember to accept it, for the rest you will have to add me from your end thru Farmville as I have run out of requests, sorry. 4 more neighbours & I get the blue good neighbour ribbon, I'm not far off the red ribbon for tree harvesting either. Thanks to those who already accepted, helping me ever closer towards more awards ;-) (Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:35:09 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Ribbons left to earn, Good Samaritan Blue = 1,270 left. Cream Of The Crop Blue = 22,645 left. Knock On Wood Red & Blue = 1 left for Red. Zoologist Blue = 1,643 left. Crop Whisperer Yellow, White, Red & Blue, 100 left for Yellow. Don't Zynga think we should be able to BUY manure so we can start earning these? And please bring back the Shutterbug award, I was SO close to finishing it! (Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:10:46 GMT)

Raymond "Its all gone quiet" said Roobarb. "Too quiet" said Custard. (Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:49:03 GMT)

Raymond is rocking out to "Far Away From Love" by Sing-Sing, Emma Anderson & Lisa O'Neill seriously kick out the jams on that one. (Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:48:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville. I just say SOD IT, I can't be arsed any more. Fix the lag or I won't be playing again. (Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:39:27 GMT)

Raymond Seems I was right that WWE would never get the 2 new ROH guys on tv ever. Nigel McGuinness has already not only signed to TNA but filmed his 1st Impact appearance & Bryan Danielson is also rumoured to be coming to TNA as well now. I guess Dixie Carter can afford to pay them now that Booker T has gone & good riddance too! (Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:47:29 GMT)

Raymond Isn't interested in clicking the Live Feed button. Farmville friends, please gift trees ONLY as I have earned all the animal ribbons. Thank you. (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:10:03 GMT)

Raymond has fertilised some farms, earned a ribbon doing it. Cool. (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:35:32 GMT)

Raymond has fertilised some farms, earned a ribbon doing it. Cool. Farmville friends, please gift trees ONLY as I have earned all the animal ribbons. Thank you. (I'll only end up selling them otherwise). (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:30:05 GMT)

Raymond You have to spend the rest of your life in a locked room with a famous animated puppet, who do you choose for company? Otis The Aardvark, Edd The Duck, Gordon The Gopher, Gilbert The Alien, Nobby The Sheep, Zig or Zag (you can't have both, sorry!), Roland Rat, Kevin The Gerbil, Errol The Hamster, Fozzy Bear, Basil Brush or a choice of your own. (Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:30:30 GMT)

Raymond I guess no-one got the offer for the next flower mastery ribbon then? Farmville robbed you! (Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:52:25 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 more neighbour on farm town so he can hire ppl. (Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:56:00 GMT)

Raymond thinks Farm Town is totally screwed because he accepted a neighbour request but it didn't got through. I wonder why that is? If you are on Farm Town then add me as a neighbour please? (Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:28:15 GMT)

Raymond has discovered that no matter where he goes or what he does he can't get away from bloody High Wycombe! James May you bastard! (Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:42:10 GMT)

Raymond Why is it when bands are introduced its always stuff like "Back by popular demand"? Wheres the one venue that is honest? On time don't you just want to hear "Presenting live on stage because we couldn't afford anyone we like - Marvin & The Bastards!" (Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:16:06 GMT)

Raymond Marks & Spencer is running a Penny Bazaar this Friday (13th Nov) to mark the store's 125th birthday 15 items will be on sale for just 1p each. Buy up to five 1p items & the offer runs in all of Marks' main UK stores. Items include tea towels, mugs, notebooks, socks & chocolates amongst others. It's expected to be VERY busy so get there early! (Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:41:34 GMT)

Raymond It be ever so slightly precipitating from the clouds out there like (Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:12:13 GMT)

Raymond Dr Who:- Well that was a complete let down,talk about boring! We waited since Easter & they gave us that shit? Roll On Matt Smith. (Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:27:09 GMT)

Raymond Hello new friends & current friends. FYI, I don't play Mafia Wars. I only play Treasure Madness, Farmville, Farmtown, Super Slots & Word Party on Goobox & occasionally Bejewelled ;-) Ok? (Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:10:02 GMT)

Raymond Hello new friends & current friends. FYI, I don't play Mafia Wars. I only play Treasure Madness, Farmville, Farmtown, Super Slots & Word Party on Goobox (which I think a lot more people really should try!) & occasionally Bejewelled ;-) Ok? (Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:09:37 GMT)

Raymond has just harvested his farm for the last time. It now won't get touched until Farmville unlock the largest farm AND allow us to buy fuel with our coins. Otherwsie trying to do the harvest & flower harvest ribbons will take forever. As of today please don't send anymore gifts, I don't need them. (Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:24:12 GMT)

Raymond No more Farmville gifts from now please? I'll only sell them (Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:53:35 GMT)

Raymond ok has EVERY game on Facebook suddenly lost friends lists? Because Superslots just robbed me blind stating I have no Superslots friends when I know for a fact i have way over 60. (Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:45:45 GMT)

Raymond Just in case you are blind & missed it the last 2 times please NO MORE Farmville gifts. Give them to someone who can use them. I'll take treasure for Treasure Madness or credits for Super Slots (or keys for level 3 please?). (Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:04:51 GMT)

Raymond Thinks Dave H, Samm H, Pam C, SimonH & Heather E should look at Treasure Madness. See how far you suddenly progressed ;-) Your Welcome! (Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:30:36 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville friends, I've now got 60 presents so you can send yours to someone else. Or give me something different. Maybe a reindeer? (Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:48:15 GMT)

Raymond In the words of Jim Cornette “Why in the flying fuck does Vince Russo have a job?”. Please Tweet Dixie Carter with this question every second of every minute for the next year until she answers it live on Impact. (Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:57:43 GMT)

Raymond has completed ALL 12 achievements on Treasure Madness. I guess thats my game over then? (Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:05:35 GMT)

Raymond Farmville is broken AGAIN? Its reporting I have no neighbours at all yet they are all still on my friends list. (Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:48:42 GMT)

Raymond Has now taken all his reviews from the SyFy forum & put them all onto his blog. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:07:47 GMT)

Raymond Roll on Tori Amos, must remember to find time difference between New York & Uk so I can tune in one time. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:35:48 GMT)

Raymond Right, Tori Amos starts at 3pm in New York with the 4hr time difference means 7pm here. Top banana. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:04:44 GMT)

Raymond I love the internet, I'm watching Tori Amos live in New York! For free! (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:30:14 GMT)

Raymond Yay! Just saw Tori Amos live in concert & didn't even have to leave my room! (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:59:00 GMT)

Raymond Take "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters & combine it with "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne & you've got "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its insanely good. Its no "Far Away From Love" though! Thats super Jazz fusion that even Howard Moon couldnt hate. (Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:57:30 GMT)

Raymond Take "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters & combine it with "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne & you've got "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its insanely good. Its no "Far Away From Love" though! Thats super Jazz fusion that even Howard Moon couldnt hate (Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:43:24 GMT)

Raymond is watching Tin Man. Mainly for Zooey D. I like her. (Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:21:39 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, did you know you can send 30 gifts TWICE in a day? So we can actually send gifts to 60 people each day? (Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:33:00 GMT)

Raymond Ok, I just found the original negatives to those Ernesford pix & am going to rescan them, Rob, Dave, Ade, Steve & Tony, I also found the rest of the Swamp Demo negs, also gonna scan them. (Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:26:12 GMT)

Raymond Concerned about your weight? Watching your waistline? Too stressed to think? Then try Diet Headache, the new low calorie option to regular heaches! Also comes in Caffeine free & Sugar free options. Diet Headache! For that on the go liftstyle. (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:09:35 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the makers of Treasure Madness are confused why we are angry about the new maps. M$ to buy 1 of them, 4k gp to move fog, money to hire contracters. THATS why, you fuck wits! I have a team of 80 friends, i dont need fucking contracters to lift stuff! (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:47:06 GMT)

Raymond Treasure Madness makers say "Due to change in Facebook policy, we had to change the way the friends tiles are handled. These tiles can now only be unlocked by hiring contractors. Thank you for your understanding." I call that a piss poor excuse. The policy changed several days ago but we were able to use our team mates up until today. Why is today so fucking special? (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:42:33 GMT)

Raymond I have Ghost Lab & the final Ghost Hunters Academy to review. If either new Chris or slightly new Jane win then the show is a complete fix. I'm trying to decide if my throat is too sore to manage breakfast, my tummy says its not. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:40:53 GMT)

Raymond Ghost Lab reviewed. Dear Barry Klinge, of course a door is going to move if a motion detector falls off it. Use logic or is that baseball cap on so tight it squeezed all the life out of your brain? (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 09:01:18 GMT)

Raymond Its trying to snow here too, I think its too wet to settle though. Explains why it went so dark so fast. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:36:04 GMT)

Raymond And as quickly as it started, it stopped. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:44:16 GMT)

Raymond Put this as your status if you know someone who has or had cancer! All I want for Christmas is a CURE! ... (93% WON'T Copy and Paste this, will YOU?)." (Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:06:07 GMT)

Raymond thinks the whole "jaw clicking" thing is annoying as hell. And pretty painful too. And a complete mystery as to why. (Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:13:41 GMT)

Raymond Query, did any of my friends see the 2 levels of watermelon mastery awards? For some reason when I earnt them Farmville said I had no neighbours so you might miss out on 2 possible awards. Let me know? (Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:32:32 GMT)

Raymond "He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when your awake" - Santa, kindly old man who brings you presents or creepy CIA funded stalker who watches your every move? (Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:35:13 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Ribbons left to get:- Flower power blue ribbon needed King of compost blue ribbon needed Lord of the plow white, red & blue ribbons needed Vegetable virtuoso white, red & blue ribbons needed (Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:05:07 GMT)

Raymond Hopes Farmville unlock the big farm & allow us to buy fuel or gift it. If their gonna award plowing badges it'd be nice to be able to buy fuel with coins. NOT FV money. (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:52 GMT)

Raymond Has anyone else tried to claim one of their own presents? Try it and see what it says! Laughed my ass off. (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:34:57 GMT)

Raymond Right folks, I'm having a present break. Enjoy the ones that are out there (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:55:37 GMT)

Raymond Just noticed the time. ITS DR WHO DAY! Merry Dr Who Day! (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:03:40 GMT)

Raymond Opened all my Farmville gifts. Sold a large percentage of them. I guess we have to keep the tree up for today or the whole 12 fricking day run? (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:48:50 GMT)

Raymond Let me see if I understand this. During the whole time Lucy Saxon was in prison she never washed her lips once? I think I just screwed your plot without even trying. Shark, jumped. (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:24:19 GMT)

Raymond Right, this weeks Ghost Lab reviewed. Finally after 12 weeks they recorded an EVP no-one could hear. Now I'm debating if I want to review ECW, Superstars & Smackdown. (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:55:48 GMT)

Raymond It took 26 mins to check 16 hrs of status posts or FV stuff. I am currently combatting sore throat with JD & coke. You have to try, eh? (Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:16:33 GMT)

Raymond After 30 years of waiting I'm FINALLY going to get to see part 2 of The 6 Million Dollar Man episode The Secret Of Bigfoot. I feel the way I felt when I watched part 1 aged 9 ;-) (Mon, 28 Dec 2009 04:28:32 GMT)

Raymond decided to finally check out Mafia Wars, if your playing it then add me or send me a reqest. (Tue, 29 Dec 2009 16:45:17 GMT)

Raymond can all my Treasure Madness friends/team mates please send me food as gifts, I want to try & finish the last 2 Xmas maps before they expire. As many food gifts as often as possible please. NOT health packs as you can only 1 every 24hrs. (Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:53:51 GMT)

Raymond I'm old, I know. Get the digs in quick. Merry Thursday. Right, I guess I best review the final Ghost Lab of the season. (Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:08:13 GMT)

Raymond Watched final ECW original Tommy Dreamers final match & farewell. See you in TNA soon hopefully Tommy, less touring, more chance of titles & decent matches. (Thu, 31 Dec 2009 03:25:16 GMT)

Raymond Happy New Year to all ;-) Lets see what it brings. (Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:06:12 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, grow a brain. If your going to "enhance" the game then take the fucking thing offline so you don't ruin peoples planting, plowing or harvesting. Its very simple. Don't be such arseholes. (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:14:26 GMT)

Raymond WTF? Was harvesting & got the "FV has been enhanced please refresh" message so I reloaded & whilst FV was STILL LOADING the fecking message APPEARED AGAIN? (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:39:57 GMT)

Raymond got bored & removed Treasure Madness, Mafia Wars, Super Slots, Biotronic & Farmtown. Farmville, I've got you in my sights for next on the chopping block so start behaving yourself. (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 17:16:29 GMT)

Raymond Any sign of free fuel yet Farmville friends? They definately said Jan 4th, yes? And thats today. (Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:50:10 GMT)

Raymond Sweary, sweary, sweary, swear, sweary, swear. Dropped a dvd spindle on my toe. Thats going to leave a mark. (Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:12:29 GMT)

Raymond Watched RAW, predicted Vince's swerve about 4 minutes before he did it. Yet to see Impact but have heard a lot about it. (Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:39:29 GMT)

Raymond TNA IMPACT, its the Hulk Hogan cronies show! (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:27:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville friends (not that most of you ever read these updates), please send either fuel or chickens as gifts. Thank you. (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:46:57 GMT)

Raymond Not really worth staying here today if my farm wont load. (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:21:03 GMT)

Raymond YAY! (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:39:01 GMT)

Raymond Toffee cake time (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:25:46 GMT)

Raymond Farmville not loading AGAIN? (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:07:19 GMT)

Raymond ANY FB group that asks you to "Select All Your Friends" is a con. So stop spamming them. (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:32:56 GMT)

Raymond Half "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters, Half "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne - All brilliant, "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its still not as good as "Far Away From Love" (excellent brass section & middle 8) or "You Don't Know" by the same band. (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:55:00 GMT)

Raymond Boogie to the cool bit in the middle! (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:55:31 GMT)

Raymond Why is it a song seems billions of times better if its got a rocking middle 8. Like this one, with the seriously excellent fed back Les Paul guitar over a weird synthy track ;-) (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:00:13 GMT)

Raymond I altered text sizes and suddenly my farm wont fit into the window when it loads? it cuts off the left & right sides of the screen so i can't see gift boxes or the icons on the left. WTF? (Tue, 12 Jan 2010 22:09:59 GMT)

Raymond ITS TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT MORE OF US SUPPORT OUR TROOPS THAN DON'T!!! IF YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS THEN PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR STATUS AND LEAVE IT THERE FOR ONE HOUR!! AND IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!! (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:21:23 GMT)

Raymond Fixed my FV screen problem. Inversely that now means I know how to break FV on purpose ;-) (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:01:11 GMT)

Raymond Just saw the 2 latest ribbon sets on Farmville. Thats me done playing it. They can f**k right off. (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:58:14 GMT)

Raymond Farmville removed from applications. No longer playing it. Its just taking the mickey now. (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:59:10 GMT)

Raymond Uni! Mehhhhh! (thinks the only person whose going to get that reference will be EJ) (Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:02:28 GMT)

Raymond Farmville not loading AGAIN? (Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:09:23 GMT)

Raymond just wrote his last ever TNA review. No more from me, Hogan & Bischoff can destroy the show. I won't be reviewing it again. (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 02:39:01 GMT)

Raymond is listening to Little Fluffy Clouds by The Orb - "You might still see them in the desert" ;-) (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:26:31 GMT)

Raymond Facebook, seriously STOP sending me invites to join "New Facebook Chat-Install now", I've clicked IGNORE more than 20 times now. Its starting to take the piss. (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:39:27 GMT)

Raymond Remember to be polite & Gronda in deference to his Royal Highness The Rangdo Of Arg. You know how to Gronda, right? You bow & say "Gronda, Gronda". I know he's a fricking Aspidistra (also a teapot sometimes) but its PROTOCOL! (Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:33:49 GMT)

Raymond needs to remind all his Farmville friends if you buy the 24x24 farm you need to remember to move the location of your fenced in farmer. When I harvest I'm going to have to delete my whole field to get the maximum from the space. (Fri, 22 Jan 2010 19:14:51 GMT)

Raymond good news, when expanding your farm to 24x24 you only have to reorder 2 sides of the farm & you are left with 2 nice borders to plant trees or put small animals. no need to delete the whole field ;-) (Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:01:05 GMT)

Raymond FARMVILLE! Listen up because its only coming once! If you dont STOP saving my farm every 5 seconds I will EFFING END YOU! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 19:26:08 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Avast! antivirus software a not only a liar but a fake finding a virus in a folder that according to Windows didnt even exist. Trying to make it look you were earning your keep, eh Avast! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:25:53 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Avast! antivirus software as not only a liar but a fake finding a virus in a folder that according to Windows didnt even exist. Trying to make it look you were earning your keep, eh Avast! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:26:33 GMT)

Raymond No more Green Plumes as gifts please, already got the max. (Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:07:26 GMT)

Raymond Please DO NOT send me stable supplies or trees as gifts. I dont have space to build a stable for at least another 2 days. Collectables or mystery gifts are fine, thx. (Thu, 04 Feb 2010 00:16:59 GMT)

Raymond WTF? where have all my news updates about games gone? nothing from FV or mafia wars or treasure madness? whats the score? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:35:00 GMT)

Raymond Weird, 1 minute no game feeds then they suddenly all come back? What was going on there? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:43:32 GMT)

Raymond Ok, there is DEFINATELY a problem with live feed. It cant make its mind up whether to show posts from applications or not & its REALLY annoying. FB what the hell are you doing to us? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:13:23 GMT)

Raymond thinks Facebook bowed to complaints & put the live feed back the way it was. The moral of this story, if it aint broke dont try to fix it. (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:47:03 GMT)

Raymond Just finished writing a review for the album Cosmic Thing. Will see about reviewing Seeing Stars tomorrow maybe. (Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:11:46 GMT)

Raymond No more Dragonflies as gifts please FV friends? I've got the max & they are only worth 5 coins if you sell them. No stable supplies either, their worth the same. (Sun, 07 Feb 2010 19:22:10 GMT)

Raymond is about to listen to the best saxaphone break ever written. Double - Captain Of Her Heart (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Those guitars in the middle 8 of Captain Of Her Heart by Double sound just like the middle of of Oblivious by Aztec Camera. Hmmm. (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:28:52 GMT)

Raymond 8 more of you can ask for Valentines gifts today. I think its really crappy that I can send ordinary gifts to 30 ppl but only 10 Valentines gifts a day? (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:39:49 GMT)

Raymond Does FB keep telling you there are no new updates? Wanna prove it a liar? Scroll to the bottom, click edit options & set Maximum number of friends shown in Live Feed to something like 2000 & click Save. Now watch all your friends & applications suddenly come back. Now thank me by sending me a Valentines gift in Farmville or Mafia Wars. Or food on Treasure Madness. Or just say thank you. (Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:16:03 GMT)

Raymond You like FlashForward? You remember that brilliant music Channel 5 used to advertise it? Its by Royksopp & its called Royksopp Forever on the album Junior. Ok? (Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:45:10 GMT)

Raymond is scanning some of his old pictures to go in his Random Coventry Pictures folder (Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:10:53 GMT)

Raymond No "en fuego" reward then? (Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:15:19 GMT)

Raymond Look, just play Music Challenge! Its really good & you'll be addicted after about 3 games. (Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:15:59 GMT)

Raymond "Hey, yo, Doug, do that record jam on a groove" (Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:51:12 GMT)

Raymond Not long finished reviewing Speak & Spell by Depeche Mode. 2nd review in as many days ;-) (Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:31:55 GMT)

Raymond "Whats this Neil? Its Risotto Vyv. Its Snow Neil! No, its Risotto! Its Snow Neil, I should know. Its all I've had to eat for the last 3 days. Snow, snow, bloody snow! Don't you want yours? Well, I didn't say that did I?" (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:31:59 GMT)

Raymond After Chicken Biriyani & Chips with cold lager all I can say is "What sore throat?" (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:56:10 GMT)

Raymond Reviewed Depeche Mode's - A Broken Frame. Not very good at all. Construction Time Again is next on the "to do" list. (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:35:04 GMT)

Raymond Has anyone else discovered the "free unwither" on Farmville yet? I've just brought 2 different fields back to life with it ;-) (Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:49:30 GMT)

Raymond just finished reviewing Construction Time Again. Its hard to review a bad album without using bad language. I managed somehow. Some Great Reward is next to do, hopefully thats got better tracks on it. (Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:50:54 GMT)

Raymond Need 2 more people to finish my chicken coop please? How do you post those direct links on your profile, anyone? (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:06:23 GMT)

Raymond Chicken coop expanded to max, muchos thankees to those who pitched in. Now I just have to motivate myself to get started on reviewing Some Great Reward. (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:24:29 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends can I ask for just chickens as gifts? Mafia friends, anything to help build the chop shop. Thanking you ;-) (Not that anyone ever reads my status requests mind you) (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:59:05 GMT)

Raymond is pleased to discover he didn't imagine the song "Kill Your Television". Its by Neds Atomic Dustbin. Ok? (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:39:34 GMT)

Raymond Watched both versions of The House On Haunted Hill last night, the original is a much better movie. (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:26:39 GMT)

Raymond Just sold my Valentines box, moved some stuff around & reclaimed 2 whole squares for actual crops! ;-) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:34:35 GMT)

Raymond Is watching Rocketship XM for free. Thanks to the Internet Archive! ;-) I also got House On Haunted Hill (already watched it), Things To Come & Battleship Potempkin. (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:38:53 GMT)

Raymond sorry but you all just missed out on a feathers collection because FV is being an arsehole. again (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:10:53 GMT)

Raymond Cleveland Jr on The Cleveland Show "I moo when I get frightened". "Moo, moo!" (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:12:56 GMT)

Raymond This beat is, this beat is, this beats completely chronic, got samples upon it, no effort yet I profit. (Guessing probably only Iggy will get that one) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:14:47 GMT)

Raymond Things I Like:- Unexpected Amazon Vouchers. ;-) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:40:26 GMT)

Raymond Rocketship XM. So they were aiming for the moon & missed, landing on Mars. Where 2 of the 5 crew were killed & 1 was injured. Yet they made it back to Earth only to be killed in the crash landing. And the head of the space agency says the mission was a SUCCESS? (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 23:17:13 GMT)

Raymond So on Synchronicity Sting is actually singing "Science insusceptible" & NOT Scientific Vegetables like I thought he was. My versions much funnier, I'm sticking with it. (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:21:46 GMT)

Raymond Is Facebook just as slow loading anything at all today or is it just me? (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:25:33 GMT)

Raymond From a new BBC text only Adventure Game:- GO EAST. You go east, you are in some sort of garden - It appears to be midnight but you can see clearly. LOOK. You see Igglepiggle, he's extremely annoying. PUNCH IGGLEPIGGLE. You punch Igglepiggle, it turns out he has a glass jaw & you just knocked him out cold - score 23 million points for punching Igglepiggle. Would you like to kick him whilst he's down? (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:37:25 GMT)

Raymond Apart from the Mystery Box glitch ALL FV unlimited stuff has now been stopped. (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:25:58 GMT)

Raymond Is currently working his way through 130+ mystery boxes having placed them I'm now opening them. Some have fuel, theres also a new tree! (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:37:25 GMT)

Raymond Farmville has been enhanced, Now sit there while I rob you of the bonus you just earnt. (Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:58:55 GMT)

Raymond "They send the heart police to put you under cardiac arrest, and as they grab you in the dark they tell you that you've failed the test" (Wed, 24 Feb 2010 21:55:22 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, I only need 2 cement blocks, 2 power tools. 2 acetylene torches, 2 shipping containers for my chop shop - please help? (Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:42:12 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 CEMENT BLOCK, 1 ACETYLENE TORCH & 2 SHIPPING CONTAINERS for Mafia Wars. JUST those items, none of the other Chop Shop things please? (Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:24:28 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 ACETYLENE TORCH only please Mafia Wars friends? (Sat, 27 Feb 2010 16:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Finished reviewing Some Great Reward yesterday, taking a break from DM today & reviewing Blurs Parklife. (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 14:17:51 GMT)

Raymond Is pleased it only took just over a couple of hours to finish reviewing Parklife. Another Depeche Mode album next or something different I'm wondering? (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:47:22 GMT)

Raymond Missed Glee, was hungry, so made tea, cut celery, ate tea, Gonna watch glee. On the replay, of course ;-) (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:25:33 GMT)

Raymond Sorry Farmville friends but FV just robbed you all of the chance to share in my getting the blue ribbon for the cats. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:03:23 GMT)

Raymond Just scored my weekly million plus points on Music Challenge. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:58:24 GMT)

Raymond If you are new Mafia Wars friends please do NOT send any Respect Requests for at least the next 2 days. They aren't getting accepted so your only wasting your sends. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:06:17 GMT)

Raymond Dont send me your wants on Farmville. You'll get what your given & be thankful I gave you it. (Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:02:15 GMT)

Raymond Just worked out why I couldnt accept Respect requests. I already had 10 gifts waiting & its the max you can have at once. It didnt help they were all just off the screen where I couldnt see them. Piss poor design IMHO. You CAN now send Requests again now I know what I'm doing. (Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:52:00 GMT)

Raymond So whats this "Locked box" scam on Farmville then? Are they THAT needy for people to sign up their pulling crap like this now? (Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:35:40 GMT)

Raymond I have 460 fuel, went to get some free fuel from a friend & got THIS:- Howdy Farmer! You need to use some of your fuel to be eligible to find more. So get busy farming and come back later! (Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:51:50 GMT)

Raymond In order to prevent Zynga screwing me out of Mafia Wars level ones 3 star mastery in New York for the 3rd time I have taken the precaution of taking a screenshot of FULL mastery of all level 1 jobs. DO NOT screw with me again Zynga or you WILL regret it! (Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:02:46 GMT)

Raymond No more gold on FV please, sold my thingy. Got bored of it. You can still request gold off me though. (Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:07:06 GMT)

Raymond is full of Chinese Chicken & Spicy Sezchuan ;-) De Smegging Lish. (Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:57:49 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends. NO GOLD PLEASE! I sold my pot for it days ago. It proves to me you dont read my status if you keep sending it. Mafia Wars friends I could use 5 lifts, 1 torch & 4 containers for my Chop Shop if your in a giving mood please? (Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:52:29 GMT)

Raymond Just completely broke FV, I was fertilising & managed to fertilise 1 square to over 13 thousand percent and it showed no sign of slowing down or stopping when I clicked refresh (Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:48:14 GMT)

Raymond Farmville thought for today:- Gold is the most precious mineral on the planet but if you sell it in FV its worth sod all. Shows how out of touch with reality Zynga actually are. (Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:14:12 GMT)

Raymond Gifted FV friends in alphabetical order. A-D today. mystery boxes from me as i am not building anything so i wont send nor do i need building supplies. (Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:51:55 GMT)

Raymond I've done my FV gifting for today, mystery boxes (again) because I'm not building anything so DONT NEED SUPPLIES! Its D through J today. (Sun, 14 Mar 2010 12:09:44 GMT)

Raymond Want to say Blimey! but it just isnt enough? Need to say Crikey! but that won't fill the bill either? Then why not try out Blikey! 2 words for the price of one. BLIKEY. Half Blimey half Crikey. BLIKEY! (Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:01:49 GMT)

Raymond done gifting for today FV neighbours J through K got mystery boxes (same as everyone else), Please remember NO gifts of gold of building supplies in return as I am taking part in neither. (Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:03:29 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Zynga as the thieves I aready knew they were but now I have PROOF! Took a screenshot on level 101 of all 1-4 3 star mastery. Just checked it on level 111 & they've stolen the mastery level. (Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:30:54 GMT)

Raymond Farmville gifting done, K through L it was your turn today. Mystery Boxes on their way. (Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:28:26 GMT)

Raymond Great, I was gonna go watch some tv from 4OD but its knackered? (Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:05:41 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars is totally f**ked then? It wont load at all, just a white screen. (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:38:19 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars: CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE Updated 03/17/2010 10:39 AM We apologize but our game is currently down. We are working hard to quickly fix it and as soon as it is back up we will let you know. Thanks for your patience! (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:42:19 GMT)

Raymond FV gifting done for today, M to S, More S starting from Sierra tomorrow (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:35:32 GMT)

Raymond OK FV friends, as some of you may know I reached Level 70 & completed the game yesterday. You can stop sending me gifts but you can ASK for anything you want, 1st come 1st served. 1 request per person per day only though. (Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:10:54 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars question - If you win a battle you get $65k. If you lose you lose $100k. So what happens to that odd $35k from every battle? Who gets it? Where does it go? (Sun, 21 Mar 2010 14:53:09 GMT)

Raymond FV friends, if you want an item then send a message stating what gift (include link if possible). 1st 30 every day get what they want. DONT reply this, message me directly (Mon, 22 Mar 2010 21:22:14 GMT)

Raymond FV friends, I have sorted out my neighbour list. The unanswered neighbour requests are now cancelled, also if you are level 70 I removed you. It doesnt mean I love you any less, it just means your lower ranked friends will have a better chance of getting your feed stuff. Some of you are MW friends too so I will still see you ;-) (Thu, 25 Mar 2010 01:07:33 GMT)

Raymond is pleased he FINALLY got the video capture software to work (Thu, 25 Mar 2010 18:39:18 GMT)

Raymond What is with all these cheap gits on the Mafia Wars fight list who you never win any money off? Zynga needs a rule, no money means no fight list access. (Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:24:20 GMT)

Raymond WTF? FB now sending out fake "You have been blocked or disabled" messages? (Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:25:10 GMT)

Raymond No more eggs as gifts please FV friends? I have sold my basket. Mystery gifts or fuel if you can gift it would be preferred thanks. (Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:44:47 GMT)

Raymond Hooray for enough Lightspeed points for £15 worth of Amazon vouchers ;-) (Fri, 02 Apr 2010 01:49:46 GMT)

Raymond I just need 1 power tool for my chop shop upgrade please? (Sat, 03 Apr 2010 05:04:35 GMT)

Raymond After that end of episode trailer screw waiting 7 days, I want more of Matt Smiths Doctor Who NOW! (Sat, 03 Apr 2010 18:27:04 GMT)

Raymond Grr. It was JUST a fricking loose RF aerial cable? I guess that connector needs replacing then. (Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:19:29 GMT)

Raymond Nope, It was the RF aerial cable connected to the telly. Picture now perfect. SOLVED. (Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:23:34 GMT)

Raymond MW friends, has anyone got any of these spare? Striped, Polka Dot, Checkered or Plaid eggs. Please? (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:16:56 GMT)

Raymond "Ford ranted and boggled at the prospect of Zaphod getting things right. Ford didn't mind boggling, it was painless and burned very few calories. He actually believed it made his hair look nicer afterwards too which was a bonus." (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:44:03 GMT)

Raymond My Farmville puppy Binky better poo solid 24 carat gold considering he cost 300k to buy. He's sitting in front of the chicken coop, guarding my chickens. (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:27:48 GMT)

Raymond Lets see if I understand FV. You look at the jobs list, you find 1 you like, you join & THEN you plant the same crop. NOT before. Zynga, you REALLY need to explain this shit. (Fri, 09 Apr 2010 21:05:41 GMT)

Raymond May I say Woo. And Hoo. Roll on next week. "It Begins!" ;-) (Sat, 10 Apr 2010 18:03:37 GMT)

Raymond Ok, its official. Co-op farming IS BULLSHIT. I just harvested a whole field of grapes I'd planted after starting a job & it didnt count a single one of them. Dont send me another invitation to co-op farm EVER again. (Sat, 10 Apr 2010 21:49:34 GMT)

Raymond Its a Saturday in 1994 in High Wycombe & I'm walking down the High Street outside Woolworths. I kinda half recognise this smiling spikey haired blonde guy walking towards me, as he walks past me I say to myself (but also out loud) "Wasn't that Howard Jones?" & this male voice from behind says "Yes it was!". Made me laugh ;-) (Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:00:03 GMT)

Raymond WARNING! If someone rings you claiming to be from Microsoft saying your computer is sending a virus DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY INFORMATION! IT IS A SCAM! I just had to tell the guy to sod off twice as the cheeky twat rang back when I hung up on him. The MS website says they WILL NOT cold call you EVER! (Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:28:40 GMT)

Raymond Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:31:32 GMT)

Raymond Bad news FV friends, you can only accept ONE bonus pack. Any more you get are just going to go to waste. (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 15:39:30 GMT)

Raymond can anyone explain why i can only vault the "Tools of the Trade Collection" once? (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:36:11 GMT)

Raymond "The Earth will die Screaming", what an amazingly obscure sci-fi movie reference 90% of the people watching Victory Of The Daleks will totally NOT get ;-) And I got it right away. (Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:11:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville dog Binky, I am not going to rescue you. Mainly because I can't afford it. That'll teach you to run away you ungrateful little twat. (Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:29:00 GMT)

Raymond WTF? Combine posts is UNTICKED yet FB is STILL doing "Show similar posts". Fecking POC! (Mon, 19 Apr 2010 20:24:07 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, unless its a mystery box or fuel any gifts you send arent really going to be helpful to me on level 70 ok? But thanks for sending them. (Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:51:36 GMT)

Raymond Binky Collie is now free & back where he belongs, guarding my chicken coop. Thank you to Troy Sutherland for the Fv link that provided 3 free farm cash AND a bonus pack of various stuff including fuel! (Fri, 23 Apr 2010 19:45:24 GMT)

Raymond Is it just me or is pretty much every part of Facebook completely screwed & loading as slow as hell? (Sat, 24 Apr 2010 11:26:07 GMT)

Raymond Officially pissed off with new mouse & its glitches, its being replaced. (Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:31:25 GMT)

Raymond Completed the first 2 jobs in Paris on Mafia Wars. Couldn't start job 3, ran out of maps. (Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:52:20 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- I have made a start on the 3rd & final mission in Paris of Chapter 1 ;-) (Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:15:15 GMT)

Raymond JK Rowling, idea thief:-Goodnight Sweetheart-18 November 1993, Ron Wheatcroft best friend of Gary Sparrow. Harry Potter & the Philosopher's Stone-30 June 1997, Ronald Weasley best friend of Harry Potter. Both have a friend called Ron with intials RW, both get to their destinations by passing through solid objects, Gary through Ducketts Passage & Harry through a wall to Platform 13a. Who says shes not a plagiarist? (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:22:18 GMT)

Raymond Stunning how people complain about seatbelts not being used on Peppa Pig but no-one cares that neither Marge or Maggie Simpson wear one in the credits of The Simpsons? So British cartoon pigs are more important than American cartoon mums & babies? (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:37:46 GMT)

Raymond "Ford castigated himself then wondered about that Betelgeusian folk tale that excessive castigation sent you blind. He blinked a few times just to make sure it WAS wrong. Yes, definately wrong up to this point in his life." (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:12:50 GMT)

Raymond Ellington, a Skellington. He danced in purple Wellingtons. I wish more words rhymed with that ;-) (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:09:33 GMT)

Raymond Your seriously telling me I am the ONLY person on Farmville who earned a medal & unlocked free fuel & the only one sharing it too? (Sat, 01 May 2010 14:39:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, if you ask me "any more gifts to accept" & I click YES then STOP loading the bloody game, let me accept my other gifts! (Sat, 01 May 2010 16:32:08 GMT)

Raymond Useless crap I can remember #1:- Jimmy Neutrons band is called The Llama Lords Of Science. And Kevin (from The Wonder Years) had a band called Kevin Arnold & The Electric Shoes. (Sat, 01 May 2010 23:14:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear current "new" mouse, when your replacement arrives I am going to smash you with a hammer for being a f**king irritating twat. (Mon, 03 May 2010 19:24:20 GMT)

Raymond Dear "Jossys Giants", you weren't THAT blooody tall. And the Spanish version of the theme tune was crap too. (Tue, 04 May 2010 00:30:41 GMT)

Raymond FINALLY! A mouse designed by someone who knows what the word ergonomic means! No more carpel tunnel syndrome due to an insanely small mouse. Thank you Mr Logitech. No thanks to that arse who sent it 2nd class over a fecking bank holiday though. (Tue, 04 May 2010 12:18:05 GMT)

Raymond So has the Mafia Wars Toolbar vanished from anyone elses firefox? (Wed, 05 May 2010 00:41:57 GMT)

Raymond Seems the Mafia Wars Toolbar decided to fix itself, no idea why it crapped out last night though (Wed, 05 May 2010 15:19:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Lottery scammers. if you are going to try & steal someones details its a REALLY bad idea to send it from your British University email account. I hope you enjoy meeting the police you fucking twat ;-) (Wed, 05 May 2010 16:56:53 GMT)

Raymond Useless crap I can remember #2:- Max Headrooms human counterpart Edison Carter presented the "What I Want To Know" show ;-) On The Young Ones Neils full name is Neil Wheedon-Watkins Pye & Vyv drove a Yellow Ford Anglia. (Wed, 05 May 2010 17:38:38 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, please invent a CONTINUE button that actually DOES go away when clicked? Its not that hard. Or just get rid of the useless POS. (Thu, 06 May 2010 23:35:55 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, need untraceable cell phones? Go to Moscow episode 1 & do the "Arrange A Drug Shipment for the Mafiya" job. You'll get 1 pretty much every time ;-) (Fri, 07 May 2010 12:11:35 GMT)

Raymond If Virginmedia send you an email telling you to change Outlook Express settings DO NOT enable SSL as they advise you to. Because it wont work, leave SSL OFF. That WILL work, having just tested it. (Fri, 07 May 2010 14:06:31 GMT)

Raymond Enjoy the gifts my Mafia Wars crew! If you didn't need Politico Corruptos I'd keep them for when you do (in Cyba or Bangkok). It got me another badge anyway ;-) (Sun, 09 May 2010 15:54:36 GMT)

Raymond "Welcome to Element Of Doubt Burger, how may I help you?". "Whats the element of doubt?". "If I'm going to spit in your food or not. Should I expect a tip?". "Yeah, eat elsewhere". (Tue, 11 May 2010 13:37:34 GMT)

Raymond DC is going with a coalition Parliment then. Hoorah! Bye Bye 1 Party system. (Tue, 11 May 2010 19:45:11 GMT)

Raymond Hey, can anyone hitlist me on MW so I can try & earn the achievement (Tue, 11 May 2010 21:04:22 GMT)

Raymond FV & MW friends. The Zynga toolbar will cover ALL your games & can be clicked to monitor either game (Wed, 12 May 2010 19:55:37 GMT)

Raymond MW friends it appears my suspicions were true & the unique Vault Codes are 1 use only. So don't bother saving them. (Thu, 13 May 2010 13:17:11 GMT)

Raymond You have built a Mugati Sport. You gained 3 Attack. (Thu, 13 May 2010 17:47:55 GMT)

Raymond Boy went to his careers officer & said "I wanna study Stampsr". Careers Officers say "Why not become a Police Officer or join the Forces?". Boy says "No, I wanna study Stamps". So the Careers Officers says no, the boy asks him why & the Careers Officer says "Philately gets you nowhere". (Thu, 13 May 2010 22:39:16 GMT)

Raymond So it turns out it was tune#7 on Ghouls & Ghosts by Tim Follin. Thank you Terry Ventress for getting that tune stuck in my head. Now I'm going to have to trawl my SID collection for something else to knock it out ;-) Denarius? Hawkeye? DELTA! (Sat, 15 May 2010 13:49:50 GMT)

Raymond Wasn't Delta (darn! Sorry Rob Hubbard, I must have been thinking of something else), I guess it must have been Sanxion? I went for Hawkeye, that never disappoints. Thank you Martin Walker. There isnt a single bad tune in that game. Sanxion next then ;-) (Sat, 15 May 2010 13:59:22 GMT)

Raymond I was right, it WAS Sanxion. The bass line always reminded me of "House Arrest" by Krush. Only Sanxion was written the year before. So Krush are a bunch if thieves. (Sat, 15 May 2010 14:07:57 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- Has anyone got any idea how many Paris maps we're gonna get tomorrow? Obviously 23 or more, hopefully enough to finish the final mission before it ends (Sun, 16 May 2010 23:10:09 GMT)

Raymond Looks like no Mona Lisa for me on MW, those cheapskate bastards @ Zynga only gave us 23 maps for the final day which only gave 20% mastery on the final job. Thanks for nothing Zynga! (Mon, 17 May 2010 14:11:07 GMT)

Raymond Testing out my new Sennhesier CX-300 II's. They even worry about your safety & say not to wear them in traffic or have them too loud. Not that you could anyway, their insanely loud even at low volume ;-) (Tue, 18 May 2010 13:18:38 GMT)

Raymond My impression on Zynga "Have 23 MW maps & an extra 12 hrs in Paris. Just so you know it wont matter a damn, you'll only get 20% mastery so that f**ks your chances of getting the Mona Lisa". Bastards, arent they? (Tue, 18 May 2010 13:42:04 GMT)

Raymond 400 energy & 115 maps to complete that final 3rd Paris mission in case you were curious. Not that it matters, I haven't got the maps or the energy. Its a nonevent horizon with a possibilty of zero squared. Ie:- Never gonna happen. (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:11:58 GMT)

Raymond How you can tell William Orbit helped Madonna on Frozen. The bassline sounds EXACTLY like Fascinating Rhythm by BassOMatic which he wrote. In fact the fricking words to Fascinating Rhythm even fit the tune of Frozen. Not a coincidence methinks. (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:19:51 GMT)

Raymond "And though I'm not as tall as you, I soar in my high heels", gotta love Emma Andersons lyrics ;-) (Modern Girl - Sing Sing. Track 4 on Sing Sing And I) (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:37:52 GMT)

Raymond I stopped this guy on the street to ask him the time & he had a strange accent so I asked him where he was from & he said "I live in a State of Permanent Confusion". "Isn't that in Mexico" I asked him but he just walked off ;-P (Tue, 18 May 2010 16:28:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear Indian Call Centres, The 1st Law of Customer Service - The Customer is ALWAYS right. When the person you are calling TELLS you to take no for an answer then give it up as a lost cause. Fuckwits. (Tue, 18 May 2010 17:06:07 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook. I haven't logged out in like a month. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO LOG BACK IN. FFS! (Wed, 19 May 2010 22:05:07 GMT)

Raymond Erm, has anyone yet pointed out to Zynga that MW gifts DONT HAVE EXPIRATION DATES? Stupid idiots. (Thu, 20 May 2010 13:52:15 GMT)

Raymond MW friends. Please do NOT end ANY gifts or respect requests to ANYONE for the next few days or until Zynga fixes whatever the hell they broke when Paris finished. (Thu, 20 May 2010 13:58:56 GMT)

Raymond Currently grabbing the Boy George thing & the Heaven 17 concert off Iplayer to watch tomorrow (Fri, 21 May 2010 02:42:44 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, "Thanks" for gifting my 1 & only Mugati Sport to someone who I was trying to help on a job & didnt even TOUCH the fricking gift button, let alone the SEND button. I now have to rely on his honesty & good nature to send it me back. And I can't wishlist it either. (Fri, 21 May 2010 13:29:29 GMT)

Raymond Heaven 17 performed as follows:-(We Dont Need This) Fascist Groove Thang, Penthouse & Pavement, Play To Win, Soul Warfare, Wichita Lineman, These Boots Are Made For Walking (ft Claudia Brukken on lead vocals), Geisha Boys & Temple Girls, Lets All Make A Bomb, The Height of the Fighting, Song With No Name, We're Going To Live For A Very Long Time, Temptation (Fri, 21 May 2010 15:27:21 GMT)

Raymond STOP with the stupidly long group names. (Fri, 21 May 2010 18:59:24 GMT)

Raymond I warned you about those bullshit fake groups with the long names. One of you just got yourself defriended. You cant say you weren't told not to. (Fri, 21 May 2010 22:44:05 GMT)

Raymond MW friends, dont go crazy with this Crime Spree thing, you can only accept 5 requests a day just like Respect. Anything after that & you lose the bonus. So I advise you dont send any more than 5 out a day. (Sat, 22 May 2010 15:35:46 GMT)

Raymond I have now diagnosed the cause of my fuzzy tv picture. It wasn't the RF aerial as previously suspected. Its the old Playstation RF aerial splitter. I guess I need a new one. (Sat, 22 May 2010 17:27:51 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please no more chop shop items (I am fully levelled up) & no sabotage requests for AT LEAST 2 days. (Sat, 22 May 2010 19:56:26 GMT)

Raymond I have cleared my MW robbing/sabotage requests. If you want to send me 1 tomorrow you can. Ignore what I said before. I'm me, I reserve the right to change my mind. And I frequently will ;-) (Sat, 22 May 2010 21:10:44 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- Can someone please hitlist me again, I've been working on upping my defence & my family has grown somewhat. It'd be interesting to see how long i can last now. If you do so tell me what your MW name is so I don't return the favour. (Sat, 22 May 2010 21:17:59 GMT)

Raymond I replaced "Hearts On Fire" (by John Cafferty from the Rocky 4 soundtrack" with the better longer version with the playout thats actually in the movie. Its MUCH better than the crappy soundtrack version which is the crap uninspiring version. Actually that should be its new universal MP3 tag "Rocky 4 Soundtrack John Cafferty Hearts on Fire (crap uninspiring version without movie playout)". (Sat, 22 May 2010 22:12:35 GMT)

Raymond Diagnosed & Rectified video capping fault. Capped all remaining Telebugs episodes, just fixing audio sync on AviRemux now. Expect 8 previously unavailable episodes on Youtube shortly. (Sun, 23 May 2010 14:36:08 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please do NOT send any Crime Spree or Respect Requests for the next 48 hours. Anything being sent from the posting of this message will be ignored. The process is still faulty, dont waste your daily send limit on them. (Mon, 24 May 2010 17:33:36 GMT)

Raymond wishes everything was as easy to solve as the mystery of the missing Savlon. (Thu, 27 May 2010 01:42:07 GMT)

Raymond Microwave NSP's. Microwave cooks, microwave stops. There is food in the microwave but no power. Fuse change, cock, hook & look. Forward assist. Microwave continues to cook. ;-) Only the RAF friends are going to get that one. (Thu, 27 May 2010 17:42:43 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of Glee, If Kurt REALLY wants to stop the Jocks picking on him all he has to do is tell them if they touch him again he'll make Columbine look like a Sunday School Picnic. Instant end to his bullying issues. Kurt is supposed to be smart? Then he really should have thought of this already. (Thu, 27 May 2010 18:15:00 GMT)

Raymond nearly all done with processing on my Adventure Game episodes. Just season 4 left. Which has the most episodes. Thats gonna take a while. (Thu, 27 May 2010 18:22:46 GMT)

Raymond I like my gaming friends which is why I'm giving this friendly warning. DO NOT publish things won from Crime Spree's. Anyone excessively spamming my feed with these WILL be defriended. Thats the only warning you should need. (Thu, 27 May 2010 22:12:12 GMT)

Raymond WTF happened to the co-op job I was helping on, Did you abandon me? If you'd stuck with it we'd have JUST won a gold. Good job I can't remember who you were or I'd be being VERY angry with you right now. You know who you are though. (Fri, 28 May 2010 11:46:16 GMT)

Raymond How are you supposed to reach level 4 on Treasure Isle if the game fails after 20 seconds EVERY time you try to play it? (Fri, 28 May 2010 17:11:24 GMT)

Raymond yet again been robbed by ANOTHER game via MW despite having already reached the goal it asks you to. Zynga you LYING BASTARDS! so now i have to get to fecking level 7 on Treasure Isle & its as unstable as hell. (Fri, 28 May 2010 23:03:53 GMT)

Raymond Ever suspected your Windows O/S is a dirty stinking liar, especially those "low memory" messages? Well I caught out XP just now. 2 processes running using 25,000k. I assume the Bill in Bill Gates also means Billy Bullshit? Because thats what your error message has been debunked as. (Sat, 29 May 2010 00:54:32 GMT)

Raymond They claimed the voting had changed yet its STILL The European Backslapping Contest with cronies voting for cronies. Why do we even bother entering any more? (Sat, 29 May 2010 22:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Anyone know how long it takes for the Reef Shark to appear in yout MW inventory after winning it? (Sun, 30 May 2010 16:59:53 GMT)

Raymond Currently I am recapping my Telebug episodes that had badly synced audio. 1 more to go, I may try to recap the one with the excess contrast too. We'll see I guess. (Mon, 31 May 2010 23:16:58 GMT)

Raymond All Telebug episodes now capped, just doing editing now. Have 3 left to edit then I am all done. (Tue, 01 Jun 2010 00:45:03 GMT)

Raymond All Telebugs episodes now capped & edited. I discovered Movie Maker has an audio boost function so I will be fixing a few of the quieter episodes too now. (Tue, 01 Jun 2010 02:02:03 GMT)

Raymond I just levelled up so have a full energy, health & stamina bar & am now gonna not touch MW until tomorrow. I intend to finish chapter 1 in 1 day. (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:43:49 GMT)

Raymond Was trying out a music site where you tell it what genre you like & what your current mood is I said dark mood, electro music. It started playing Missing by Everything But The Girl ;-) (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:55:59 GMT)

Raymond hmm, now on CSI:New York. Maroon 5 caused a riot. Maroon 5 arent good enough (or bad enough either) to cause a riot. (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:07:28 GMT)

Raymond Pop Quiz NO USING GOOGLE! 7 Ways To Love by Cola Boy is actually being sung by who? 10 points for a right answer, 110 points if your also Jason ;-) (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 22:30:41 GMT)

Raymond Whats the point of making Prince Of Persia into a movie? Its not like the game is very well known. Tombraider I understand as Lara Croft was globally known & recognised. The only POP game I can think of was on the NES so we're talking decades ago? (Thu, 03 Jun 2010 01:45:18 GMT)

Raymond Well I managed to get 2/3's of the way through the 3rd London job, didn't level up though so you earn REALLY low XP from that mission. I reckon I can finish chapter 1 tomorrow easily. (Thu, 03 Jun 2010 13:10:37 GMT)

Raymond Do you like the movie The Abyss? Got Google Earth & wanna see something cool? Enter 35° 2' 13.2" N, 81° 30' 43.2" W into Google Earth & look inside that circle on the left. Its the DEEPCORE RIG! (Fri, 04 Jun 2010 01:17:59 GMT)

Raymond Example of crazy Zynga Logic:- On Mafia Wars you can have a max of 501 crew members but can only send out a max of 40 gifts, crime sprees/respect requests every 24 hours. And you can only accept 5 crime sprees per day. More than slightly unfair, no? (Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:22:18 GMT)

Raymond Raymond completed the Robbing Good chapter in the Challenge Mission:
London! (19 minutes ago). Anyone else done it yet? (Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:52:15 GMT)

Raymond The end of Goonies "The Octopus was really scary". Oh you mean the one they cut out of the movie? So your line about it sounds really stupid? (Sun, 06 Jun 2010 18:09:26 GMT)

Raymond News from the Alter Zero Archives. I have uploaded the last 2 caps I did before my gear crapped out, links on both FB pages to Youtube. I will cap more performances when I get time, I promise. I will try & find Rob & Ade doing "Mr Clean" by The Jam. (Mon, 07 Jun 2010 02:41:19 GMT)

Raymond I just found out theres a new Predator movie coming out NEXT MONTH! Its called Predators, stars Laurence Fishburne & its a prequal. And it sounds VERY cool. (Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:58:52 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, Root Beer? DISGUSTING! FYI fellow Brits, smells like Germolene & tastes EXACTLY how Germolene smells. (Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:48:27 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else playing Zynga games getting a weird jar:file message in their URL bar now and then? Its deffo the Zynga toolbar causing it as I just stopped my browser to copy n paste the message into Notepad. (Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:23:21 GMT)

Raymond Dear Big Brother, pick a time slot & fecking STICK WITH IT FFS! (Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:57:37 GMT)

Raymond I cant be the only who thinks MW energy packs are a complete waste because you almost never get to use all the energy in one before you level up. Seriously Zynga, implement a "carry energy forward" policy. It cant be THAT hard? (Sat, 12 Jun 2010 02:34:58 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, unless I specifically request an item please DONT send me ANY gifts. I'm on level 70, I really DONT need them. Ok? And nothing more for Treasure Isle either? I was only playing it for a Mafia Wars item. (Sun, 13 Jun 2010 11:58:31 GMT)

Raymond I reject your reality & substitute my own.
In my reality England are still crap @ Football, Beers slightly cheaper,
Cider is ONLY made out of apples & Eddie Izzard is Prime Minister.
Oh, and Jeremy Clarkson was never born. And we get Mythbusters on telly every week ;-) And Pauley Perrette. LOTS of Pauley Perrette. (Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:42:49 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, stop sending me emails telling me "your wish has been granted" claiming ppl are sending stuff on my wishlist. So far NOTHING they've sent have been wishlist items. (Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:57:59 GMT)

Raymond Have Facebook renamed the MW link? They go on about safety from dodgy links then the retards go & rename the link to make it look EXACTLY like a dodgy link. Dickheads! (Tue, 15 Jun 2010 21:13:25 GMT)

Raymond Are you one of my MW friends who was stupid enough to use this:-10.000 Mafia Wars rewards points free Coupon? You do know by using that you pretty much gave away ALL your personal
information. Expect to be hacked VERY soon. (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:02:30 GMT)

Raymond Can Facebook not make up their minds what the OFFICIAL Mafia Wars game link is called now? All these differently named links look as dodgy as HELL! (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:33:06 GMT)

Raymond Whats the point of a Farmville email fuel boost if it doesnt even last 24 hours? What a piece of useless crap! (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:14:59 GMT)

Raymond I'll repeat the status of a few days ago because its clear some of you didnt read it. Farmville friends, unless I specifically request
an item please DONT send me ANY gifts. Currently all I'd like if you are gifting is ANYTHING from the stable. Nothing else. (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:15:42 GMT)

Raymond "We're going to remake The Karate Kid but there wont be ANY Karate in it because we think your too stupid to notice the difference. We also think your too stupid to notice that a tournament shouldnt continue if 1 finalist is disqualified. We also think your too stupid to notice that a Hurricanrana & a Bicycle Kick aren't legal Kung-Fu moves" (Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:43:32 GMT)

Raymond Stanislav Yevgrafovich Petrov. There should be statues of him in every city across the planet. Why? Because he single handedly prevented World War 3 on September 26, 1983. Thats why. And you probably haven't even heard of him. (Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:35:16 GMT)

Raymond Facebook,
which is the REAL Mafia Wars game link?
Mafia Wars MMO RPG Game or
Mafia Wars Game? (Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:59:30 GMT)

Raymond I love the Internet, I just got to watch the new episode of The IT Crowd & it doesnt even air until Friday! (Sat, 19 Jun 2010 22:36:12 GMT)

Raymond Seems I only missed a couple of seconds of the start of Doctor Who yesterday, at least I have seen the whole thing now. Roll on next week! (Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:22:08 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends:- Global Cup spares, 1 English Ball, 3 French Balls, 2 Italian Balls, 2 Argentinian Balls & 15 Spanish Balls. I will trade ANY of these for 1 Brazilian Ball (Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:29:39 GMT)

Raymond Do any of my Mafia crew need anything for the Global Cup collection? Got spares of everything except Germany, Msg me if ya do. (Mon, 21 Jun 2010 18:48:29 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia! Check your requests as I just sent out a crapload of wishlist items. All my spare Global Cup items are now gone. (Mon, 21 Jun 2010 20:22:19 GMT)

Raymond So let me get this straight, after 6 seasons of Lost the best ending they could come up with was an idea stolen from Red Dwarf? "Everybodies dead, Dave". I'm actually pretty angry about that. (Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:02:40 GMT)

Raymond Dear Penn & Tellers Bullshit! If you are going to do a Martial Arts episode about self defence why not ACTUALLY INCLUDE a Martial Art where you defend yourself as opposed to 1 where you attack. Because Karate totally isn't Self Defence. You might want to sack your researchers & Google Judo. (Fri, 25 Jun 2010 17:03:56 GMT)

Raymond Does anyone still need Global Cup items? I have spares of everywhere except Brazil, msg directly with which country you need (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:33:36 GMT)

Raymond Is FV now officially taking the piss? I planted a whole field using the seeder, collected 1 big can of fuel now every fuel I try gives me "You need to use some of your fuel to be eligible to
find more.". WTF? How much fuel do you want me to use? (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:39:26 GMT)

Raymond If we're this crap every 4 yrs why not just not bother next time, save the country the stress. You can't lose if your not even playing ;-) If your that pissed off why not watch BBC2 @ 5:30pm for Brits who don't get paid shitloads actually winning things on the Athletics. Or keep watching Mark Webbers 200mph crash until you realise theres worse things than losing @ football. (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:49:14 GMT)

Raymond Next time we need an English Coach. I recommend Harry Shaw ;-p (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:37:05 GMT)

Raymond Theres been an open War job on my wall for TEN hours, so far ONE person only has helped. Thank you Tony
Holcomb. Now what about the rest of you? (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:11:48 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else having issues with Mafia Wars stuff not publishing? I've lost a Vegas item & my 1st War achievement didn't publish either (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:30:01 GMT)

Raymond I've got all 7 Las Vegas loot items, where do I claim my reward it mentioned from? (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:43:49 GMT)

Raymond When in doubt, throw it out, the thought I can not live without. Say "Fuck it!" (Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:01:41 GMT)

Raymond In me Coventry home, in me Coventry home. We speak with an accent exceedingly rare, you want a Cathedral we got 2 to spare (cuz Time Team found another) ;-) (Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:31:00 GMT)

Raymond Is currently writing a parody song. Farmville fans, watch this space ;-) (Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:00:50 GMT)

Raymond Is currently writing a
parody song. Farmville fans, watch this space ;- (Its in my notes if you want a laugh) (Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:24:56 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to my amazing Mafia I just completed 2 Crew Collections in as many minutes. Bev, Issa, you rock ;-) (Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:32:16 GMT)

Raymond Here is my Mafia Wars Spares/Trade list:- http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=433259063277 (Sat, 03 Jul 2010 22:35:32 GMT)

Raymond Mafia friends PLEASE, NO MORE CHIPS! (Tue, 06 Jul 2010 11:12:10 GMT)

Raymond I was feeling hot & restless so finally finished my Depeche Mode review of Violator thats taken me over 3 months to complete. (Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:18:41 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars players, we're all idiots really. Why do we rank the Stolen Diamond collection so highly, all it yields is "Improve
odds of successful robberies by 10%" which given the amount of effort to earn the collection is TOTAL CRAP!" (Fri, 09 Jul 2010 01:06:15 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox, 2 things. Thing 1# When you crash (which is quite often you POC) don't make me have to ALSO kill you in Task Manager you cpu hungry TWAT! Thing #2 When you reload FROM a crash DONT reload whatever crashed you, you FUCKING RETARD! Its not rocket science. If it crashed you once then its NOT a good idea to try & reload it, is it? (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox (again), I WOULD replace you with a better browser BUT seeing
as the alternatives are IE8 (shit), Google Chrome (even worse), Opera
(dont make me laugh) or Safari (the browser version of Plan 9 From Outer
Space) then its better the devil you know as Kylie once said. PS, I am
amazed to discover Netscape STILL exists. Although its owned by Satans
cousin AOL. (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:13:54 GMT)

Raymond Current estimated temperature= Mind rapingly hot.
Secondary temperature estimate= Beyond bearable.
Predicted duration to dehydration= About 10 seconds.
Amount of liquid required to regain hydration equilibrium= All that exists. And then some. (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:25:04 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, do you see that link at the bottom of the page that says "Older Posts"? Please make it so when you click it that it ACTUALLY shows ALL your older posts right back to the point when you joined Facebook. So I only have to click it once, not about 53 trillion times. Maybe add a 2nd arrow that does that. It cant be THAT hard can it? (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:45:08 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends, I have 3 spare Limes & a spare Cherry for either a Lucky 7 or a Liberty Bell? (Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:52:03 GMT)

Raymond What the hell is wrong with Farmville? Its SO SLOW! WTF have they done to it? Its not like it wasn't ALREADY CPU hungry they decided to make it worse? (Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:55:56 GMT)

Raymond I sent someone in my crew a whole bunch of Chop Shop parts, no clue who it was though. Whoever you are, enjoy them ;-) If it was you let me know? (Wed, 14 Jul 2010 21:47:40 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia! If you are still trying to do the Slots Collection I have spares of everything except the lucky 7 & triple bar. The Lucky 7 will requires something in trade if you want it though. (Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:54:37 GMT)

Raymond Hey American Facebook friends, any of you near
Goshen Indiana please check out the link on my profile page to see if you can help find Amber (Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:30:15 GMT)

Raymond Did you know it was possible to download stuff off ITV Player, 4OD & Demand Five? (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:26:15 GMT)

Raymond Its slightly wet out there (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:36:43 GMT)

Raymond If you are going to send a friend request (especially if its for a game) then include a message saying what the req is for therwise your going to be seeing ignore, ok? (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 21:49:34 GMT)

Raymond Can anyone explain what this sudden new MW trend is with idiots constantly attacking you? I note their all cowards with 501 Mafia. MW fighting is WAY overdue an overhaul, make it so you can ONLY fight ppl with the same amount of Mafia as you who are also within 5 levels of you. I am SICK of all these chickenshits. (Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:46:29 GMT)

Raymond To those in my Mafia who had reasonable things on their wishlists a lot of you have received stuff. To a lot of you who are extremely unrealistic you got nothing. Perhaps try building those cars or weapons yourself if you are such a high level. Or lower your expectations. (Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:39:43 GMT)

Raymond Why is it that every asshole who attacks me gets iced after 2 power attacks back. MW needs a self defence system so it DOES fight back when you aren't playing. Isnt that the whole point of having a mafia after all, to protect you? (Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:06:42 GMT)

Raymond Attention Doctor Who fans! There is a Dr Who Prom on Saturday, BBC Radio 3 at 7:30pm. The general consensus is that it will be broadcast on tv proper at Christmas. (Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:32:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars you retarded assholes, Las Vegas is in America. Just like New York. And it uses the DOLLAR! So why are you using a different currency for it you IDIOTS? (Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:12:13 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else having MEGA issues with gifts & requests not loading? Seems its all Zynga games. (Wed, 21 Jul 2010 21:21:23 GMT)

Raymond To avoid getting killed a lot I have removed MW from my applications
while this fighting promotion is on (it starts in 16 hours). Until then dont send me any gifts. (Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:02:13 GMT)

Raymond Marking out at this weeks Futurama for the Bladerunner reference. (Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:04:02 GMT)

Raymond Facebooks latest error message:- Bad Request
- Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.

So you dont understand what F5 means? Wow, I knew Facebook was SHIT but this is beyond a joke. (Sun, 25 Jul 2010 12:49:28 GMT)

Raymond I just learnt the term STAB & what it stands for. Hilarious ;-)
Thats the term Weekend Warrior replaced forever in my vocabulary from now on. (Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:09:15 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars is starting to take the piss now, I had full health & lost nearly 600 yet the log says no-one fought me & I haven't done any jobs. WTF? (Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:24:50 GMT)

Raymond had 606 health. lost 262 in fights to 1 person. yet i only had 6 health left. MW is totally FUCKED right now (Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:46:01 GMT)

Raymond Ok Mafia Wars, if your not completely broken how am I being put into fights when I have less than 20 health which according to YOUR rules isnt possible? (Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:23:15 GMT)

Raymond "Theres's a saying in creole," Beauvoir said. "What's that?" "Evil exists." (Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:09:25 GMT)

Raymond Apparently Bill Gates is giving away half his fortune to charity, like he'll even notice its gone. You wonder what kind of tax break he'll get for doing that too? (Wed, 04 Aug 2010 17:26:49 GMT)

Raymond If revenge is sweet it makes you wonder what they served as a main course & appetiser (Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:37:37 GMT)

Raymond If you've sent me a Mafia Wars request recently and not heard back within 24hrs then your probably the person I accidently clicked ignore on (whose name I didn't even see as it happened so fast), FB was just being so weird I clicked it by mistake. Just send me another request. I'm really sorry, my bad. I'll make it up to you with a nice gift, ok? (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:09:52 GMT)

Raymond Found the request thru my list, sorted. Gift on its way shortly (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:53:40 GMT)

Raymond Everything Windows is, it stole off Macintosh. FACT. (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:18:03 GMT)

Raymond thinks that "Compare the Herpestidae" doesn't quite have the same ring does it? (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:16:57 GMT)

Raymond How to tell FV designers DONT even play the game (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 22:20:58 GMT)

Raymond I have nothing on my mind. (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 22:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, as I just completed Moscow if you need any of the Russian consumables for jobs there then please feel free to ask. (Sun, 08 Aug 2010 15:28:49 GMT)

Raymond Mafia friends, if you are going to ask for help on a DEA fight PLEASE say what level the agent you are fighting actually is. It will help your friends know whether they can help you or not. (Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:26:18 GMT)

Raymond Guess who just discovered a rather useful glitch when fighting the DEA guys in Mafia Wars ;-) (Mon, 16 Aug 2010 03:31:40 GMT)

Raymond Coventry, UK. Its 3.29pm & we're back exactly where we were 12 hours ago - Its dark and its pissing it down with rain. (Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:32:49 GMT)

Raymond The "Without Google" challenge. WITHOUT USING GOOGLE (or any other search engine which includes Youtube), Who sang "I'd Rather Jack"? There is no prize. If you get it right you get the satisfaction that you actually knew it without cheating ;-) (Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:24:40 GMT)

Raymond Brandy Green of GHI has slammed one of my reviews. Bad editing puts you in a bad light Brandy. If Pilgrim edit you to look like completely useless twats then your going to come off looking like completely useless twats in the show. Don't blame me, speak to Craig Pilligian. I only review the show (sometimes). (Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:07:56 GMT)

Raymond I WAS (note use of past tense) going to try the final 2 fights against Iverson & Embry but seeing as Zynga stole my stamina toolbar boost I wont be bothering. No way are either of those guys beatable without it. (Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:00:23 GMT)

Raymond Just watched Snoop Dogg blow up an Armoured Car. Swearing and all ;-) (Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:20:28 GMT)

Raymond Why Mafia Wars is TOTAL bullshit. I have 640 Health. According to my status bar I got hit for 227 health (leaving me 413). Yet some how I got killed, so how the hell does that happen & KEEP happening? Learn to subtract Zynga? (Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:13:31 GMT)

Raymond The "No Search Engines Challenge" is back! Todays question is a 2 parter, Who was Ford Timelord & what UK #1 record was he credited on? (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:14:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if you dont want us sending out FR's because we've sent out some that went unanswered then why not implement a feature that allows us to monitor our pending FR's? Or is that too sensible for you? (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:27:31 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars Warning! CAUTION! It appears some loudmouth idiot must have blabbed about the exact details of the "Health Glitch" in Boss Fights as Zynga now appear to give the boss a full health refill when you do one as well. So thanks to some fool its now totally useless. (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:29:18 GMT)

Raymond I am dismayed to read that the script for Ridley Scotts adaptation The Forever War (by Joe Haldeman) has now gone to its 5th draft. And that rather shockingly NONE of those were written by Joe himself. Personally I'd rather it stayed in developmental hell than be adapted by anyone other than the author himself. (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:38:35 GMT)

Raymond My ping is low, I haven't passed the data cap yet my connection is as slow as hell. WTF? (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:32:49 GMT)

Raymond Hey Facebookers, a while back I brought the Robert Llewllyn online show Car Pool to the attention of my feed. If you like Robert & have enjoyed Car Pool you'll be happy to hear he has FINALLY got himself a tv deal & he'll be doing Car Pool on Dave from October! (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:57:49 GMT)

Raymond Brits, imagine a rocking Green Day/Blink 182 style guitar tune called "Death To Jedward". You know you'd buy it, right? (Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:22:40 GMT)

Raymond Its raining, its pouring. Gone on so long its boring.
We get the gist through all the mist, You think its Global Warming (Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:58:26 GMT)

Raymond Osborns Law:
Variables won't. Constants aren't.
How awesome is that? (Sun, 29 Aug 2010 01:25:07 GMT)

Raymond You know the "daily rewards incentive" on MW where you get stuff if you login every day? I just got the Plaid Egg that I had wishlisted. (Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:25:53 GMT)

Raymond Just got a good laugh at the expense of The Gadget Show, their saying "check our website". Shame its currently down you FOOLS! (Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:34:45 GMT)

Raymond Facebook finally back to normal then? Took them all fucking day though. (Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:08:11 GMT)

Raymond After sending a screenshot proving what level I was on Texas HoldEm I finally got my Pocket Rocket achievement in MW the same day I reported it to them. Outstanding! (Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Happy Birthday Jasper Newton Daniel! And thank you for the lovely black leather embossed card holder. (Thu, 02 Sep 2010 11:41:07 GMT)

Raymond Marketing Man denies using hit song to create new business :- Tree Museum, entry fee $1.50 (Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:02:41 GMT)

Raymond Red Dwarf question:- Who according to the Cat Bible is their god? Provide proof. (Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:10:04 GMT)

Raymond Will not be wasting any of his MW resources on San Jaun. (Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:18:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of Fight Club, has no-one ever pointed out to you that the 1st Rule of Fight Club blatently violates itself? Or did you not spot that? (Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:36:37 GMT)

Raymond Hey Mafia friends, if your going send a gift in the next 24 hours please make it Bollywood Reels. And as many as possible please? Otherwise I'm seriously going to fall short in Mumbai. (Thu, 09 Sep 2010 21:47:16 GMT)

Raymond is really disappointed to discover that Police Syncronicity lyric was actually "Science insusceptible" & not Scientific Vegetables like I thought it was. I prefer mine ;-) (Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:51:13 GMT)

Raymond Revive an 80's word or phrase day. Word-sound, British word means good. Phrase usage "As sound as a pound that you found on the ground". American equivalent "Sweet" (Fri, 10 Sep 2010 16:03:42 GMT)

Raymond I just need 4 more Bollywood Film Reels to complete Mumbai (Sat, 11 Sep 2010 13:40:10 GMT)

Raymond Dear Go Compare bloke, you're only legging it off that island so fast because you know that marooned guy is looking at his next 10 or 15 meals. (Sat, 11 Sep 2010 22:34:27 GMT)

Raymond You know that line in "Shake Your Head" by Was (Not Was) that says "You can't fight the Armed Forces"? Actually you can, and you can win. Its only possible providing they dont know your fighting them. ;-P (Tue, 14 Sep 2010 14:04:43 GMT)

Raymond I need 1 set of ABC Blocks to complete this new collection on FV, can anyone help me out? (Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:56:32 GMT)

Raymond I just opened our fridge & saw a carton of Carrot & Coriander soup. I just wanted to write Chilli Chowder on it as soon as I saw it. Sad thing, not many ppl are gonna get that. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 14:40:20 GMT)

Raymond After hearing enough of the lyrics I was able to Google them & discover the music Vodaphone are using for their latest advert is "I'm All Over It" by Jamie Cullem. I thought I'd recognised his style. I note Vodaphone have picked the best bit, the really catchy chorus section. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 23:33:14 GMT)

Raymond Marvin's Lullaby
"How I Hate the Night"
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head
I can see by infra-red,
How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 23:57:00 GMT)

Raymond If you are a fan of early 80's music I've just uploaded 2 performances from Nine Below Zero onto Youtube from their appearance on OTT in 1982 (Sun, 19 Sep 2010 04:55:40 GMT)

Raymond Possibly THE most stupid song lyric ever? "Girl, I'll House you". And no, he didnt mean he'd buy or give her a house. Stupid House music lyrics from 1989 (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:47:28 GMT)

Raymond This week on X Factor we welcome special judge Charlotte Church, her challenge to our contestants - Sing your piece. IN WELSH! ;-) Gwnewch iddo felly! (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:51:47 GMT)

Raymond Todays useless fact. The Welsh, Greek & English words for Wolverhampton are all exactly the same ;-) And theres no Latvian translation for the word University either. (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:59:09 GMT)

Raymond Best John Carpenter movie ever currently on ITV4+1, original version of The Fog! (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:06:59 GMT)

Raymond Secret Stash question. It ONLY goes to your wall, only you can open it.
So what causes this message if you are the ONLy person with access to it?

This stash has already been found. Fight another mafia now to find your own. (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 11:24:48 GMT)

Raymond MW - I noted ALL the "Secret Drop" rewards are complete Shyte. And all the people you suggested I send them to are people who NEVER send back. (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 11:36:35 GMT)

Raymond So is Facebook loading INSANELY slowly for everyone then? (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 19:09:24 GMT)

Raymond Dear makers of "Melissa & Joey", you REALLY dont know your audience so heres what we REALLY want. Melissa should say "Woo hoo!" at least once per show & Joey should say "Woah!" also at least once per show. And if you want to put Melissa in slightly more revealing outfits I can deal with that. A cameo by Jenna Von Oy would be nice too ;-) (Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:41:12 GMT)

Raymond I might not be Rod Hull but I do have Green Jelly ;-) (Sun, 26 Sep 2010 21:48:28 GMT)

Raymond I might not be able to remember what I did yesterday but you can play me a song from 1983 & I bet I'll know most of the words to it. (Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:57:33 GMT)

Raymond Answer from an episode of Family Fortunes (Family Feud to Americans) they couldn't air. "We asked 100 people, name a party you wouldn't want to attend". Their answer "The Labour Party" ;-P (Mon, 27 Sep 2010 15:03:52 GMT)

Raymond Either Fox massively increased Family Guys budget or they pissed away their entire seasons budget on CGI for the Premiere. I expect the reason of season 9 to look as bad as Tracey Ullmans version of The Simpsons. (Tue, 28 Sep 2010 17:01:57 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends! I have at least 1 spare of ALL the Global Cup Items. If you want anything its 1st come 1st served. 1 Item per player only though to make it fair. DO NOT reply to this, message my Inbox with your desired item. Mails will be answered in time order. (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 16:47:11 GMT)

Raymond KILLER version of Only Exception by Rachel on Glee. Totally shat on Britneys various Britney Spears covers. (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 19:12:21 GMT)

Raymond Its bizarre that my 2 current favourite bits of music are both from adverts. Grace (by Will Young, from the Natwest ad) & I'm All Over It (by Jamie Cullem from the Vodahone ad) (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 19:49:05 GMT)

Raymond Just won the Mafia Wars Bowie Knife off Frontierville ;-) If you are going to send pig gifts no more curly tails please as I have completed it fully, thank you! (Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:34:56 GMT)

Raymond Hey Mafia Friends, if you have gifts sends left I still need 5 more Boss Hogs. If you need anything else back then say so when you send me stuff. Currently I only want those 5 and Pints Of Stout for Dublin. (Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:50:33 GMT)

Raymond Please be aware the Indian Call Centres are up to their old tricks again & are doing another round of the "Microsoft Update required" scam, so if anyone rings you claiming to be from Microsoft saying your computer needs an update IGNORE THEM! DO NOT go to the web address they will try to give you as if you download the software it WILL infect your machine & they will then charge you to remove it. Its a SCAM! (Sat, 02 Oct 2010 11:36:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear Family Guy, People outside the US dont know who Rush Limbaugh or Nancy Pelosi are. I doubt many Americans know who they are either. And whats the point of making the American Dad season premiere a carbon copy of last weeks Family Guy season premiere. Or are you really that badly out of ideas? (Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:44:52 GMT)

Raymond Dear American Dad, 2 seconds on Google told me a Greyhound Bus holds 55 people max, NOT 96. Is research THAT hard? (Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:56:59 GMT)

Raymond Finally after over 3 months of procrastination I finished my Songs Of Faith & Devotion review. Now I have to live with reviewing Depeche Mode without Alan Wilder, that should be interesting. I've got Ultra, Exciter & Playing the Angel left then I have reviewed their whole back catalogue. (Tue, 05 Oct 2010 01:54:23 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends, no more Pints Of Stout please. I have FINISHED Dublin. Any other gift is welcome, if you desire a Pint in return then ask for one. Dont just send me one & hope I'll return it. Because it'll just be ignored. (Tue, 05 Oct 2010 19:51:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, is it just me or has anyone else suddenly lost a crapload of fuel overnight? (Wed, 06 Oct 2010 16:45:31 GMT)

Raymond I'm pretty happy (for a change, ok Evi?) that I've finished all the Donkey work on my Ultra review. Just a matter of doing the music bit & the summary. (Wed, 06 Oct 2010 23:57:03 GMT)

Raymond Ultra review finito, just Exciter & Playing The Angel left. We're into the final lap ;-) (Sat, 09 Oct 2010 00:04:26 GMT)

Raymond For a long time, much to the annoyance of EJ (sorry EJ) I have compared "Oblivious" (by Aztec Camera to "Captain Of Her Heart" (by Double). I can now finally settle my query, Aztec Camera wrote their tune 1st. Again, sorry EJ. I know how much it annoys you, I can't help it. I'm slightly mental, but you already knew that ;-) (Sun, 10 Oct 2010 21:07:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Jean-Michel Jarre, next time you do a free concert online - ADVERTISE IT! (Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:25:25 GMT)

Raymond I guess its official, I am a Goth. I'm watching CSI & they visited a "Vampire Bar" & I was able to identify "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus in the background even over their very loud conversation. (Tue, 12 Oct 2010 22:34:11 GMT)

Raymond MW:- I have a spare Manicotti if anyone wants to trade for a Conchiglie? (Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:40:31 GMT)

Raymond My brother just pointed out on the old old intros to The Simpsons that Homer manages to open the door from the garage into the house without using either of his hands as they are both in the air when the door opens. 20+ yrs as we just noticed it ;-) (Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:05:45 GMT)

Raymond I think I need 10 more Bubba Masks, help me out? (Fri, 15 Oct 2010 19:20:11 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars, an example of Zynga logic. Its easier to complete a HARD mission than a MEDIUM mission because a medium mission takes 15 clicks & a hard mission takes 13. Work that one out. (Sat, 16 Oct 2010 19:44:05 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, what ever happened to being able to farm 12 lots of fuel from feeds per day? Now theres some bullshit about having to use a certain amount of fuel before being able to grab any. Its utter crap because you have to use more than you're able to get back again. Its not like you can even gift fuel either. (Sun, 17 Oct 2010 15:23:20 GMT)

Raymond Emailed Leatherman to find out if my Star Trek multitool was actually made by them or not. If its a yes I can get it fixed for free. (Sun, 17 Oct 2010 21:56:01 GMT)

Raymond Wonders how long it takes to format 1 terabyte. Well 930 gig you lying twats, Western Digital. (Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:12:36 GMT)

Raymond I name this child Argh, Argh, I'm dying you idiot. "Argh, Argh I'm Dying You Idiot Sinclair. Next!" Gotta love Jim Hensons Dinosaurs ;-) (Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:46:00 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars makes a funny joke "Italy aint cheap, get some Lira". Actually Zynga the Lira was possibly the 2nd worst valued global after the Indian Rupee. Monopoly money was worth more than the Lira. And Italy uses the Euro now. Fuckwits. (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:34:47 GMT)

Raymond I'm confused with XP & its inconsistant USB data transfer rates. 37.7 gig took an hour & 20 minutes. Yet 40.1 gig took 59 minutes. Weird. (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:51:06 GMT)

Raymond Will trade either Planet Bollywood matchbook or Mountain Lion for the fricking Mysterious Note in Mafia Wars (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:30:36 GMT)

Raymond Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends. (Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:41:48 GMT)

Raymond The Young Ones test, how much of a fan are you? WITHOUT USING GOOGLE Name
the track that is playing when Neil raids Warlocks house. Bonus point
for who its by. Double points if you can name the album its off. (Sun, 24 Oct 2010 00:51:24 GMT)

Raymond MW - I'm waiting on 10 other people, I could be completing other missions but for you slow people. HURRY UP! (Sun, 24 Oct 2010 17:56:44 GMT)

Raymond If brains were dynamite you wouldnt have enough to blow your nose. (Mon, 25 Oct 2010 14:37:52 GMT)

Raymond Are you male,aged between 11 & 24? Then watch Scott Pilgrim VS The World as its clearly aimed at you. If your not then your going to hate it. PS - Its SHIT! (Fri, 29 Oct 2010 04:10:40 GMT)

Raymond C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out
again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going
into Wisconsin.

Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it! (Fri, 29 Oct 2010 23:34:20 GMT)

Raymond Glee thoughts - Dear Will Schuester, I just worked out how you can get rid of Emma's boyfriend. Little Shop Of Horrors - We all know what happened to the dentist in that, dont we ;-) (Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:28:22 GMT)

Raymond And we just spotted our next Superman, Cory Monteith (in his Brad costume) made a perfect Clark Kent. Make It So! (Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:40:23 GMT)

Raymond Sorry stomach, you can rumble as loud as you want. NO FOOD! Not with this fricking throat. Now shut up & suffer with the rest of us.. (Mon, 01 Nov 2010 14:50:18 GMT)

Raymond Wonders if anyone in my Mafia can spare 6 stunguns, 4 grenades & 1 shiv
so I have a complete set of everything when I try to attack the level 3 Vegas boss on the final mastery level (Mon, 01 Nov 2010 18:29:52 GMT)

Raymond Coming this winter from Muntz Movies Incorporated - " I Ha Ha On Your Grave", A Nelson Muntz Production for Fox Searchlight. (Wed, 03 Nov 2010 21:50:18 GMT)

Raymond Dear Pat Sharp, yes it was me who moonied at you through the window of Capital Radio whilst you were live & on air in 1994. I regret nothing ;-) (Thu, 04 Nov 2010 22:27:20 GMT)

Raymond How different would the opening to Moby Dick have been if Herman Melville had lived with his mother? "Call me Ishmael. Actually we call you Phillip, dont we dear?" (Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:25:52 GMT)

Raymond Rays Useless Fact Of The Day :- The bird you can hear on 808 State's Pacific is the North American Loon. (Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:00:46 GMT)

Raymond Nerd Mode On:- I can die happy now I've found how to get more than 1000 news headers at once. (Sat, 06 Nov 2010 00:38:54 GMT)

Raymond Hey, I just connected my account to Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com (Sat, 06 Nov 2010 16:23:44 GMT)

Raymond : "Depeche Mode And Their Sounds Of The Universe" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 12:27:48 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/amq0sN on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Speak And Spell By Depeche Mode" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:16:46 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cD34RA on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "My Experience of Ghosts" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:45:48 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/dp3GOw on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "My London Marathon Experience" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:09:04 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/baZvrW on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Name Deleted" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:20:46 GMT)

Raymond Harry Potter is popular but not for the reason YOU think. Its because his FULL name is actually Haribo Potter. ;-P (Wed, 10 Nov 2010 20:01:02 GMT)

Raymond Twice tonight Facebook has tried to spam me. "Find your friends using Outlook Express" and "Find your friends using Windows Live Messenger". Listen FB, if I wanted my email passwords stolen & distributed globally I'd put them up as my status. Now get stuffed. (Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:43:23 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/aGpul9 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E15 - A Bat Out of Hell Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:29:20 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/8Y3ffK on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E16 - Glimmer Man Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:38:35 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/alunsu on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E17 - Fort Henry Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:51:22 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/aF1fCJ on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E19 - Rocky Mountain Hauntings Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:57:42 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/b47tTF on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E20 - Ghost of Buffalo Bill Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:01:10 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/bd2yWU on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters - Alcatraz Live Event Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:07:46 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/ajeGhb on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E01 - Web of Deceit Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:12:12 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cPAXhN on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E02 - The Honeymoons Over Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:17:21 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cafzRh on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E03 - Back to Basics Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:21:20 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/bnfqu0 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E04 - Drama Queen Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:24:53 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/atRvPo on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E05 - The Blame Game Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:30:17 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cmf4Mc on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E06 - Final Exams Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:36:07 GMT)

Raymond MW, can anyone who has completed Bangkok please send me any spare Satellite Phones as I can't replay the chapter they drop from because I sold everything there to allow me to play chapter 6 (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 20:07:54 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cA8Yx8 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "A Broken Frame by Depeche Mode" (Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:05:13 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/byaBnR on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett" (Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:22:04 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, thanks for not thinking a filename will change colour after enabling disk compression was an important thing to mention. Thanks Google, at least you arent run by useless wankers! (Sun, 21 Nov 2010 19:28:50 GMT)

Raymond Dear America, Jelly isnt what you think it is. Thats JAM. Learn what Jam is. Its only 3 measly letters. Its not rocket science. And the word colour has a U in it. OK? (Sun, 21 Nov 2010 22:42:21 GMT)

Raymond Dear this weeks The Cleveland Show. Your idea was derogative of
Fattypuffs and Thinifers, Andre Maurois beat you to it by over 30 years. And his book was MILES better. And it had an actual proper resolution. (Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:05:59 GMT)

Raymond You know you are becoming serious with your fan fiction when you have to Google if Solar Winds are radioactive. Which they are, I now know. (Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:47:42 GMT)

Raymond Farmville screwing me over YET AGAIN with late "free daily fuel"? Look Zynga, if you are gonna send 'em, send 'em on the right freaking day? (Wed, 24 Nov 2010 23:07:55 GMT)

Raymond 10 ppl accepted invites, even got "It's Turkey Time! You earned the Wild Turkey!" then checked loot & NOTHING? So where the hell is my Wild Turkey? Theres no button to collect it so how are we getting it? Getting stiffed by Zynga YET AGAIN! (Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:46:34 GMT)

Raymond It'll take about 5 mins or so, you'll get this message "Congratulations! Your friends helped you by coming to the dinner table
and you received Wild Turkey!" and it'll be in your loot. See complaining DOES work! (Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:54:09 GMT)

Raymond Read about half of "Catcher In The Rye" by JD Salinger. Its truly ABYSMAL! I had to stop where I was as I was losing the will to live. (Wed, 01 Dec 2010 23:30:09 GMT)

Raymond Anybody who wants to start a war should be forced to read "All Quiet On The Western Front" from start to finish. It would put an end to ALL conflicts. (Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:29:22 GMT)

Raymond Arthur recognised the hallmarks of insanity. They were easy to distinguish after spending any amount of time with Zaphod Beeblebrox. Right now he saw them staring back at him from the eyes in the mirror. It had to happen eventually. (Fri, 03 Dec 2010 01:43:13 GMT)

Raymond Chose this one for a particular reason ;-) (Sat, 04 Dec 2010 19:50:26 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, heres an odd idea. Try sending me my daily free fuel email on the day I can ACTUALLY USE IT? 3 days of double fuel you've screwed me out of now because of your SHITTY slow email servers. They make Hotmail look like F1. (Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:29:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of The Simpsons, Jimmy Smits played Senator Bail Organa. I knew that but 3 seconds on Wikipedia would have told you. (Wed, 08 Dec 2010 18:29:32 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars. Is there a limit to how many ppl you can send "Governator" votes to? Because it wont let me send any more out. So if you get a request from me please vote? I'll vote on anyone sending me 1, ok? (Thu, 09 Dec 2010 14:23:48 GMT)

Raymond Congratulations! You earned the 2nd Amendment! (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:20:30 GMT)

Raymond Little ditty about Lando and Han, One guy called Solo and one Calrissian

Oh Lando had this ship, They played some cards and Han won it.

Lando won a mining planet, It wasn't hard cuz Lobot ran it. (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:33:09 GMT)

Raymond Move over Air & Royksopp:- MackintoshBraun are gonna steal your crown! (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 16:20:03 GMT)

Raymond They altered Facebook AGAIN? You can't just type in a status any more, you have to select it. Thats bloody annoying. If it aint broke, DONT FIX IT! (Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:09:06 GMT)

Raymond I guess I'll have to look through the cupboard for my running spikes if its like this next week. (Fri, 17 Dec 2010 14:15:02 GMT)

Raymond John E.L. Tenney, Presenter of Paranormal State: The New Class, read & commented on my review of their 1st show! How awesome is that? (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 12:08:50 GMT)

Raymond Who do I have to kill to find a long version of the Bugs theme tune by Gavin Greenaway. Its fucking brilliant but its TOO SHORT! (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:49:51 GMT)

Raymond Its the return of the "Without Google" challenge. What 80's 1 hit wonder sang "Oh no, Its You"? To make it hard that wasn't their hit either ;-) Yes, i am a git. (I can hear you calling me one now Steve & Jason) (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:55:40 GMT)

Raymond Please. No more Farmville gifts. I will not be playing it after today. (Sun, 19 Dec 2010 16:44:43 GMT)

Raymond Guesses no-one is sending out tree lights in Mafia Wars? (Thu, 23 Dec 2010 13:39:48 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars, If I sent you a request to protect my presents you can now respond and accept (hopefully) (Fri, 24 Dec 2010 15:53:56 GMT)

Raymond Sugar & Spice, Curry without rice. Thats what disappointment is made of ;-P (Fri, 24 Dec 2010 17:04:15 GMT)

Raymond 2 different kinds of beer & a bottle of JD. Game on! (Sat, 25 Dec 2010 12:19:19 GMT)

Raymond Not only did it get warm enough to start to thaw its now actually raining. (Mon, 27 Dec 2010 23:53:21 GMT)

Raymond Thx to all for the global B'day wishes. About to watch WSM final shortly then enjoy a drinky or 4. Have a good New Year all. (Fri, 31 Dec 2010 22:03:31 GMT)

Raymond If anyone has completed the 50,000 ft mission can I have any spare Reserve Chutes as I am on 20% of the 3rd mission in part 3. With spare chutes I might JUST complete it. (Sat, 01 Jan 2011 17:25:16 GMT)

Raymond I worked out I need 70 Reserve Chutes to complete the mission. I've got 491 Mafia Members. So come on & make it possible for me folks? (Sun, 02 Jan 2011 01:46:48 GMT)

Raymond Happy to report I have completed the 50,000ft event in Mafia Wars thanks to the 72 Reserve Chutes I was awarded this evening ;-) (Sun, 02 Jan 2011 20:30:52 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://l.bukisa.com/h3wLX5 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "The Traveller" (Mon, 03 Jan 2011 19:55:25 GMT)

Raymond 3 days in & I have written my 1st short story this year. I think what I might do is finish the sniper story (which I still cant decide on an ending for) & the big room then put them all together as an short Ebook anthology. (Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:27:44 GMT)

Raymond Very short power outage, enough to knock out the computer though. (Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:41:44 GMT)

Raymond Todays good question. If The Green Hornet remake is supposed to be set in the 60's then what the F**K are they doing shooting at a traffic camera which wont be invented for another 20 yrs? Gotta be a REALLY crap move if thats in the advert. (Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:12:31 GMT)

Raymond You've travelled so far only to find what you seek you left behind. (Fri, 07 Jan 2011 11:56:03 GMT)

Raymond Just watching this weeks Stars Wars The Clone Wars & a droid just said "By Your Command". COMPLETE mark out for the BSG original series reference! (Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:37:26 GMT)

Raymond New Torchwood starting July 1st, ok! (Sun, 09 Jan 2011 15:44:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, when you sent me the thing asking my "Do you want to change to the new look profile?" I said no. So don't you FUCKING dare touch my old profile! (Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:50:28 GMT)

Raymond Things its useful to know:- No man will ever cut himself shaving with Occam's Razor. Yes, its a science joke. You'll either get or you'll have to Google it. And then you probably STILL won't get it. (Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:39:01 GMT)

Raymond Is currently working on a new short story titled "The Spaceship To Last Week". (Wed, 12 Jan 2011 17:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Still has a "classic" profile for the time being. Fuck you very much, Facebook! (Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:44:12 GMT)

Raymond Bastards, they put me onto the new profile. You asked "Do you want this" & I said NO. What was the fucking point in asking me if you were going to do it anyway you dickheads? (Tue, 18 Jan 2011 15:34:57 GMT)

Raymond Todays memory "With targets locked & reheats screaming, the words 'Bug Out!' have no meaning". Why can I never remember the whole thing? Cue EJ. (Tue, 18 Jan 2011 17:15:10 GMT)

Raymond has decided his ebook anthology will probably be called "Tales From The Necessarium", as thats where most of the ideas started. Its other title might be "The Bits Of Paper Collection", as most of the ideas were written on random bits of paper. (Wed, 19 Jan 2011 01:30:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Nigerian Lottery Scammers, its a REALLY bad idea to impersonate the FBI, how does 3 yrs jail time sound? (Thu, 20 Jan 2011 14:04:56 GMT)

Raymond Hello to whoever it was beeping their horn at me in a white transit as I crossed over Broadgate today. I was too far away to see who you were, sorry! If it was you do say hello back, it'd be nice to know who it was. (Fri, 21 Jan 2011 11:33:45 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, if it has 3 zeros then its a THOUSAND, NOT something hundred. The word thousand isnt THAT hard to learn. (Tue, 25 Jan 2011 18:32:38 GMT)

Raymond You know its cold in your neighbourhood when the BBC knock on your door to tell you Bruce Parry is filming inserts for "Arctic" outside your house. (Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:47:31 GMT)

Raymond Dear Top Gear, way to repeat a challenge that already aired on Australian Top Gear several months ago. So basically this week I get to see NOTHING new. (Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:07:29 GMT)

Raymond Impossible to do
In high heels walking into walls
Ever wonder if you're here at all
Try whistling this (Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:03:26 GMT)

Raymond Its the "Without Google" Challenge! Without Google (or another search engine) Name 2 hit songs by Buggles that AREN'T "Video Killed The Radio Star". (Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:19:48 GMT)

Raymond Today I could easily buy drugs, sex or guns. But I couldn't buy Twiglets or a 300g bar of chocolate. Thats the state this country is in. (Fri, 04 Feb 2011 11:24:53 GMT)

Raymond Screw the Black Eyed Peas & their crappy megamix, what you really wanted to watch was the Glee half time show - Now that was AWESOME! (Mon, 07 Feb 2011 16:23:38 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends - please dont send me anything (AT ALL) as a gift unless theres a new mission or promotion on. It just takes WAY too long to accept gifts now. Unless theres a quicker way I will just delete gifts rather than accept them. (Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:39:29 GMT)

Raymond Has now finished reviewing ALL 12 of Depeche Modes studio albums. What an epic journey! (Sat, 12 Feb 2011 16:01:38 GMT)

Raymond Wonders how many times has everyone also typed a status then either deleted it or just not clicked share because they realised it was a case of TMI? (Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:55:06 GMT)

Raymond Would really like a t-shirt that says Dwi wedi astudio yn y Sefydliad Cymreig Of Wood (I've studied at The Welsh Institute Of Wood). Make a spare for EJ as well ;-) (Mon, 21 Feb 2011 02:43:01 GMT)

Raymond Roedd fy nhad ei eni yng Nghymru ac mae pob Cawn oedd hyn acen wirion (Mon, 21 Feb 2011 02:45:21 GMT)

Raymond Not content with putting their price up 50p last yr after switching to electronic billing Virginmedia added 15p when VAT went up. And are now rising their prices AGAIN by 75p. Meaning JUST 10meg Broadband will now cost over £21. More than 2 quid per meg, piss take or what? (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 13:09:50 GMT)

Raymond Youtube users, yes you WILL now need a Google account to login & if you use Firefox & are only getting a black screen just reinstall flash & it should work after you reboot Firefox. (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:09:38 GMT)

Raymond As children we're insensitive. We mercilessly took the piss out of Joey Deacon, we even reprogrammed Jack Charltons Fishing to allow to catch a 14lb Lockerbie & a 9oz Challenger Space Shuttle. Kids ARE mean - Deal with it. (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:46:16 GMT)

Raymond Apparantly "The London Look" is 1970's Transexual Drag-Queen Whore. NOBODY needs that much blue eyeshadow, ok? (Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:19:01 GMT)

Raymond Is performing an official nondestructive test on his Skullcandy Riot earbuds. Quadrophonia followed by LFO, Cope with that you buggers! Dare I subject them to Rendezvous? (Sat, 26 Feb 2011 00:58:54 GMT)

Raymond Why has McFly's bass player got plectrums in his mic stand if he wasn't even using one? (Sat, 26 Feb 2011 20:00:18 GMT)

Raymond Facebook advise you to switch to secure browsing. Guess what though? You can't use ANY apps or games thru the secure URL. How fucking shit is Facebook? (Mon, 28 Feb 2011 15:39:18 GMT)

Raymond Screw you Mafia Wars, I won't be conned into another mission I can't complete. Close Moscow, no-one cares. (Thu, 03 Mar 2011 14:16:30 GMT)

Raymond Clean
The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen
Now that I'm clean

That was a very nice refreshing shower ;-) (Thu, 03 Mar 2011 15:12:48 GMT)

Raymond Dear Barclaycard, the roller coaster in your advert is completely illegal as it only has 1 seatbelt style shoulder strap. It goes inverted & therefore should have an over the shoulder restraint. Whoever made it has never ridden a coaster in their lives ever as they'd spot that rookie mistake. (Tue, 08 Mar 2011 20:22:59 GMT)

Raymond The next series of Doctor Who will premiere over the Easter weekend.
The first half of the show's sixth run will begin on BBC One on Saturday 23 April.
The first episode will also air on the same date in the US. (Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:46:58 GMT)

Raymond Without Google, name BOTH members of the band Sparks. Bonus point for which one plays the synth & looks scary ;-) (Sat, 12 Mar 2011 23:52:21 GMT)

Raymond oooohhh! National Geographic Special on the Jack Daniels factory! Hell YES! (Sun, 13 Mar 2011 01:41:14 GMT)

Raymond To the driver of the #3 bus who drove past me at the Broadgate stop without stopping or even slowing down this morning, you're A COMPLETE & UTTER BASTARD! (Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:13:15 GMT)

Raymond In that case I'm going to write to the lead singer of Echo & The Bunnymen, "Dear Mr Echo". (Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:43:52 GMT)

Raymond I'm sorry, the answer we were looking for was Pork. (Sat, 19 Mar 2011 13:07:40 GMT)

Raymond Its cheaper to buy a packet of Tom Yum Noodles (30p, thank you Thai lady in the market) than to buy them in a tub (about 90P).. 3 for 1, 'ave it! (Sat, 19 Mar 2011 21:42:49 GMT)

Raymond Wonders who else is watching Duran Duran. Go on, admit it. ;-) (Sun, 20 Mar 2011 20:51:24 GMT)

Raymond After the warhead detonated its 50 kiloton airburst, during the blast the final thing to fall was the lamp post. It truly was the last day of Narnia. (Tue, 22 Mar 2011 00:42:26 GMT)

Raymond Dear Windows Update Process, when I stop you in Task Manager stay stopped you little PIECE OF SHIT! (Fri, 25 Mar 2011 00:35:52 GMT)

Raymond has seen the Theatrical version, the Directors cut & the Alan Smithee cut of Dune. What ever version this is on Channel 5 isn't any of those as I am seeing scenes I have never seen before. (Sat, 26 Mar 2011 15:43:20 GMT)

Raymond Firefox V3, not so much a browser - more of a CPU rapist. (Sun, 27 Mar 2011 18:33:57 GMT)

Raymond Rocky 4 fans, so you like that bit in "Hearts On Fire" where they play the "Gonna Fly Now" sting? Its not even part of Hearts On Fire, its a separate track called "Up The Mountain" by Vince Di Cola, available at last after more than 20 yrs. (Mon, 28 Mar 2011 13:16:59 GMT)

Raymond Geography in the 1980's - we were asked on a test "Why did these people move to Tristan da Cunha?" My typically 80's answer? "So The Pigs wouldn't hassle them". True Story. (Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:08:48 GMT)

Raymond This news just in, Aleksandr Orlov has just been found dead, shot in the face. Apparently executed by the Russian Mafia after failing to pay for an Internet startup business that compared Meerkats. (Wed, 30 Mar 2011 18:18:07 GMT)

Raymond is applying "The Venetian Effect". Nope, I don't know what it is either but Mike Oldfield makes it sound VERY cool on Tubular Bells 3. (Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:01:13 GMT)

Raymond Dear Greys Anatomy, after last weeks cliff hanger ending the last thing I expect you to come back with is an episode of Glee! (Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:03:43 GMT)

Raymond Yay, cheap Kindle! gotta love having Amazon vouchers ;-) (Sat, 02 Apr 2011 16:40:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear creators of the old English words Zounds & Gadzooks, Jesus WAS NOT GOD! We know education wasn't great back then but you think they'd know the difference between Jesus & God. (Sat, 02 Apr 2011 16:47:43 GMT)

Raymond Jos olet juuri kääntänyt olet Billy ei kaverit (Sun, 03 Apr 2011 16:37:38 GMT)

Raymond That feeling, its just electric! "Sorry sir, due to nonpayment that feeling has been cut off". That feeling, its a mixture of solar & windpower - Damn, its just not got the same ring. "Sorry sir, we had to repossess the ring as well" (Sun, 03 Apr 2011 22:59:26 GMT)

Raymond Just submitted my 1st story to Kasma Science Fiction ;-)
I guess that means its time to start finishing some of the others. Which to pick? (Mon, 04 Apr 2011 21:09:11 GMT)

Raymond Finished my 1st book on the Kindle, I eventually chose "Z For Zachariah". Bit of a weak ending, higher hopes for "Starship Titanic" by Terry Jones :-) (Fri, 08 Apr 2011 19:30:44 GMT)

Raymond American Football - There are 4 quarters each lasting 15 minutes. Yet the game is on tv several hours? Explain, without using the words advert or the term "low attention span". (Sun, 10 Apr 2011 12:48:23 GMT)

Raymond Fucking hell Mafia Wars, how many times do I have to click BANK before you actually let me deposit money you USELESS PIECE OF SHIT? (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 14:56:47 GMT)

Raymond The channel 5 website must be REALLY shit because its down EVERY TIME I try to access it. You think you'd be able to see The Gadget Show website. But no. (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:38:00 GMT)

Raymond So you like that music on the Heineken advert? Its by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour & its called "The Golden Age". Their Danish & she sounds awesome ;-) (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 23:33:05 GMT)

Raymond Consider changing your name to Houlden Hiscock ;-P (Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:50:53 GMT)

Raymond Has VirginMedia just increased its newsgroup retention? It used to be 7 days, I now appear to have a months worth. (Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:36:36 GMT)

Raymond Dear Harry Potter, you are NOT cool. So an owl came to your house? Big wow! Flat Stanley was crushed by a noticeboard in his sleep & went on to not only survive it but have some seriously excellent adventures. He IS cool. (Thu, 14 Apr 2011 18:10:21 GMT)

Raymond Royal Engineers Staff Sgt on Time Team "We're The Royal Engineers & we can do anything". Me watching at home "You couldn't cope with me". Made me laugh ;-) I guess in this case you REALLY had to be there. I wished I wasn't. (Thu, 14 Apr 2011 21:29:05 GMT)

Raymond Finished reading 3 men in a boat by jerome k jerome. god, its AWFUL. 3 whiny hypocondriacs who all need a damn good slap is what it should be called. (Fri, 15 Apr 2011 11:11:59 GMT)

Raymond Usenet, why are you so SLOW? I just did an online speedtest & nothing is wrong & I'm not being traffic shaped so why is Usenet so FREAKING SLOW? (Sat, 16 Apr 2011 17:46:59 GMT)

Raymond London dreams, the fear of the unknown. Of pushing the limit, of the fabled distance. London dreams, of making it to the finish. All cross the city, London dreams. (Sat, 16 Apr 2011 22:55:26 GMT)

Raymond "I'm sorry, Mafia Wars can't help you right now. Or ever. It's too busy being a useless piece of shit that won't acknowledge you've clicked a button or link" (Sun, 17 Apr 2011 01:48:15 GMT)

Raymond To all my Facebook friends, if any of you uses the SyFy forums & use Firefox 4 please let me know if you can login ok today? I am totally struggling to get a login screen. (Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:42:39 GMT)

Raymond Here have a sore throat. Screw it, I'm feeling generous. Have two. (Mon, 18 Apr 2011 14:02:04 GMT)

Raymond Is now archiving his old status updates on his blog seeing as Facebook is bloody useless and only stores so many. (Mon, 18 Apr 2011 18:14:17 GMT)

Raymond Gotta love Jools Holland live, K. D. Lang did Constant Craving & managed to fuck up the intro not once, not twice but THREE times & STILL carried on going. Bless her ;-) (Tue, 19 Apr 2011 21:47:28 GMT)

Raymond American writers, why is English so hard for you to understand? Something can't be both First AND Annual. (Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:42:17 GMT)

Raymond You know sometimes you'll watch a movie for entirely the wrong reasons even if its awful? Transylvania 6-5000 is such a movie. Worth it for Geena Davis in such a revealing costume ;-) (Thu, 21 Apr 2011 21:03:15 GMT)

Raymond To the members of PRS on Paranormal State, when you visit a client & they say they aren't religious don't look at them as though you just stepped in dog shit. Its extremely unprofessional. (Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:25:13 GMT)

Raymond Typecasting, an example - The cop who releases the Ghostbusters from jail is the same guy who plays the cop talking to Bruce Willis in Die Hard. I only just spotted it was the same guy ;-) (Sun, 24 Apr 2011 20:19:57 GMT)

Raymond So which version of Ghostbusters was it? It'll be the PG13 version, they kept the "dickless" line but cut Winston saying "I've seen shit that'll turn you white". (Sun, 24 Apr 2011 20:55:14 GMT)

Raymond Dear Harry Harrison, I've just stolen 1 of your ideas. I just couldn't resist the phrase "Topless & Bottomless Bar". PS, my versions funnier than yours. (Mon, 25 Apr 2011 12:27:10 GMT)

Raymond Dear subconscious, we've shared the same brain for 41 yrs & you REALLY don't know me at all. I would never go to a train station without checking I had enough money 1st & certainly not without going to a cash machine. (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 12:02:46 GMT)

Raymond Eventually found my glasses & case. Physics & logic dictated they couldn't have fallen more than 4ft from the chair. Found them 6.5ft away by the foot of the bed. (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 21:56:10 GMT)

Raymond Here's a trick to play on a friend or enemy. Buy a small hand mirror & hide it in your palm, go up to your victim & say "Wanna see something weird?". When they say yes (And most ppl will), simply hold up the mirror & let them see their own reflection. If ya wanna add that final "Bazinga!" then say "Weirdo!". ;-P (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 23:01:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Wills & Kate, practice proctology on your forthcoming regal nuptials. Or in laymans parlance - shove your Royal Wedding up your arse! I am SICK to death of hearing about it. (Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:34:23 GMT)

Raymond Mowed front lawn in 25 mins with no grass emptying. It wasn't THAT long then. PS, Google - You FAIL at finding useful # for Job Centre. 3 tries, none worked. (Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:44:46 GMT)

Raymond Went to the job centre, didn't need to. Went to the bank, didn't need to. Went to the Cross for a pint of John Smiths, didn't need to but it was bloody lovely. (Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:08:46 GMT)

Raymond Flt Lt Wales seems to have forgotten who pays his wages. WTF is he wearing? To the RAF guys there, if I were you I'd just piss off home if he CBA to wear his blues. (Fri, 29 Apr 2011 10:29:52 GMT)

Raymond I'll guess 2 things. 1) The miltary have told those on active service NOT to comment about Bin Laden on Social Networks. 2) Folks like Barry & Dan are elated at a good result. Well done lads ;-) (Mon, 02 May 2011 12:16:43 GMT)

Raymond So I'm 2/3's asleep & I hear this yappy dog bark near my left ear. It takes me 2 minutes to realise A) We ain't got a dog and B) I'm lying ON my left ear & shouldn't be hearing anything through it. Bizarre. (Tue, 03 May 2011 15:03:03 GMT)

Raymond Yesterday I wrote a less than than glowing review of the Kindle for Amazon. Today I got an email from a guy from Amazon called Ricardo saying how sorry he was I had such a low opinion of the Kindle. They asked me to be honest so I was, I said I didn't rate it. (Fri, 06 May 2011 20:55:49 GMT)

Raymond As Harry approached the throne his feet were tripped from beneath him, he fell, breaking his glasses. As he slowly rose he stammered "But why?". From the throne a voice said "Shut up you specky twat, Mr Stupid scar! I'm the King Of The Bastards of course" - Harry Potter & The King Of The Bastards. (Fri, 06 May 2011 23:47:02 GMT)

Raymond Todays "Did you know" - Theres a Millenium Falcon model in Bladerunner, its one of the buildings in the city skyline. (Fri, 06 May 2011 23:59:35 GMT)

Raymond Famous last words "No, I'll stick with High Wycombe. I've had a chance to get used to the idea I'm going there" - AC R.P Daley on being asked to exchange postings & go to Brampton. (Sun, 08 May 2011 18:19:02 GMT)

Raymond If UK Glee is up to the nosejob episode then they aren't far behind the US. (Mon, 09 May 2011 17:28:11 GMT)

Raymond N. You go North, the room is empty & dark. Engage Night Vision Mode. Theres nothing in the room. Listen. You hear silence. Engage Depeche Mode. Enjoy Silence. You Enjoy The Silence, somewhere many miles away Martin Gore is buying eyeliner. (Wed, 11 May 2011 14:03:00 GMT)

Raymond Today the MOD announced that due to cutbacks the immediate shutting of RAF Cloesyn Down ;-P (Thu, 12 May 2011 14:35:45 GMT)

Raymond "Theres always been a vague sexual tension between the 2 of us" Mick Foley to Chyna on TNA Impact. Funniest line EVER! (Sat, 14 May 2011 11:40:30 GMT)

Raymond So with the new Armed Forces Covenant are they going to make Armed Forces Day a National holiday as well? And is there anything for ex-servicemen as well? (Sat, 14 May 2011 22:34:50 GMT)

Raymond "Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' Badgers!" ;-p (Mon, 16 May 2011 14:45:53 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please dont send me any Crime Spree's. I can't accept them. (Tue, 17 May 2011 20:58:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Victoria Beckham, seriously, get some Greek friends. They'd feed the skinny right out of you. (Wed, 18 May 2011 11:55:56 GMT)

Raymond "I see dead people!". Yes mate, so do I. Its called Dads Army. (Wed, 18 May 2011 16:00:08 GMT)

Raymond "Whats he gonna do?" Jill asked looking nervous. Adam rolled his eyes, "Well lets go by what we know, he's got a chainsaw & we're in Texas. I hardly think he's going to throw a fucking garden party" (Fri, 20 May 2011 16:46:57 GMT)

Raymond "Its a nice house but its missing a few things". "A few things?". "Yeah, like walls, or a roof" . "So its a nice building site then?"."Yeah, its stunning". (Fri, 20 May 2011 17:17:38 GMT)

Raymond Wrote my 1st music review in ages, World Clique by Deee-lite. Not their greatest album, I'm looking forward to reviewing the next one though. (Fri, 20 May 2011 23:06:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, I never logged out so why were you asking me for my password? (Fri, 20 May 2011 23:07:00 GMT)

Raymond If the world IS going to end today can it least wait until Doctor Who has been on? (Sat, 21 May 2011 13:27:13 GMT)

Raymond Ooo! I just noticed its tomorrow! Unless of course I'm not eligible to be raptured. (Sun, 22 May 2011 02:42:58 GMT)

Raymond Tried to read the book of "Battle Royale", the movie is excellent but the book is REALLY shit. Am now reading "A Logic Named Joe" (Tue, 24 May 2011 12:48:46 GMT)

Raymond As part of an experiment in gullibility, Marketers showed people the cover of a nonexistant book about the adventures of a young male clay sculpter. 90% said they would buy "The Adventures of Harry, Potter". Almost none spotted the comma. (Tue, 24 May 2011 15:28:46 GMT)

Raymond Saw the smallies drilling at Halton on Flog It. It seems the RAF finally worked out that the word uniform means "all the same", regardless of gender. It means they won't have the pleasure of girls legs any more, very sad. (Tue, 24 May 2011 15:44:16 GMT)

Raymond The level of human suffering is terrible. There are, in fact, tribes in the Amazon who have no idea what an Oxo cube is. Or a Pot Noodle. Oh, the Humanity! (Wed, 25 May 2011 01:03:01 GMT)

Raymond Yay! Channel 5 have got the UK air rights to Pawn Stars, outstanding! (Wed, 25 May 2011 18:37:38 GMT)

Raymond Job application emailed, wallet discovered as left at home & not lost. Engage relaxation mode. (Fri, 27 May 2011 09:43:59 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the MOD budget is so bad the next Biggles book is called "Biggles becomes supernumary crew" ;-P (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:02:14 GMT)

Raymond If someone tells you "we don't go there" in a computer game you can guarentee you will have to pass through this region of certain death not long after being told that. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:45:01 GMT)

Raymond "In a mine!". "In a mine!" Where you wouldn't dare sing out loud like this for fear of bringing the bloody roof down on top of you. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:56:22 GMT)

Raymond Haven't been there, never done that, didn't get a t-shirt. It was too freaking expensive. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:59:28 GMT)

Raymond Ok Americans, which Mythbusters presenter would make the best President? (Fri, 27 May 2011 11:30:52 GMT)

Raymond Finished "I Am Legend", the book isn't much better than any of the 3 movies TBH. (Sun, 29 May 2011 11:53:52 GMT)

Raymond just come back from having a pint (which turned into 3) with the one & only Trev "Spud" Taylor in the Bulls Head. (Sun, 29 May 2011 19:25:19 GMT)

Raymond It seems that despite the fact CBS said they'd cancelled Chaos it appears they are going to show the rest of the unaired episodes, Outstanding! (Sun, 29 May 2011 20:45:06 GMT)

Raymond Queen tour South America in 1980 with Fascist regimes who commit terrible acts of torture & Freddie opens with "Tie Your Mother Down"? Whoops! (Mon, 30 May 2011 21:11:34 GMT)

Raymond Irish Stew & Golden Vegetable rice. Fricking delicious! (Tue, 31 May 2011 13:41:44 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, the word bouy is pronounced BOY. Not Booee. The u is silent. (Tue, 31 May 2011 14:26:49 GMT)

Raymond Solid ground is called Terra Firma for a reason. The more firmer, the less terror. (Tue, 31 May 2011 14:29:23 GMT)

Raymond Jimmys parents argued about where to take their annual holiday, Mother liked the cold, Father liked the heat. As breadwinner, his dad always got his way & they went to Spain. When Jimmy was 15 the argument started again only the outcome was worse than usual. "Fuck Spain, I hate it! I'm divorcing you & moving!". A month later he got a postcard from Reykjavík & Jimmy thought "No wonder Mums gone to Iceland" (Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:01:07 GMT)

Raymond Dear Bill Murray, stop being such a dick. Do Ghostbusters 3. After all it was you who ruined the last reboot that became "Evolution" (Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:51:54 GMT)

Raymond watched The Police earlier, now watching Sting from Berlin. (Fri, 03 Jun 2011 23:36:43 GMT)

Raymond Happy to finally discover what the music from the Peugeot 308 is actually called & who its by. Flash & The Pan - Walking In The Rain (Fri, 03 Jun 2011 23:45:14 GMT)

Raymond Started & finished reading Little Brother by Cory Doctorow. Excellent book about hacking, secret police, civil liberties & freedom. Its free on Feedbooks (Sun, 05 Jun 2011 12:18:33 GMT)

Raymond One day a physics teacher is asking his class about Heisenbergs Uncertainty Principle, he asks if anyone thinks they can explain it simply. Jimmy puts up his hand "I think I can sir, but then again I'm not sure!" (Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:59:09 GMT)

Raymond Is news feed totally FUCKED or what? I'm getting ever message at least twice or 3 times? WTF is going Facebook, sort yourselves out! (Tue, 07 Jun 2011 19:36:05 GMT)

Raymond Got a Kindle in my toilet, got a Kindle in my bed. The way techs goin', in 5 yrs time I'll have a Kindle in my head! (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 16:22:25 GMT)

Raymond "How can it be? For he is the Kwisatz Haderach!". "No mate, thats the bloke who empties the bins." (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:05:54 GMT)

Raymond Jean-Luc Picard walks into a clothing repair shop & with a pair of trousers with a hole in. "Fix these please" he says. "I can't, the machines on the fritz" the owner tells him. He gets angry, points to the machine & says "MAKE IT SEW!" (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:53:30 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, these "spammy links" you keep making me login from are your own FUCKING links. Sort your bullshit out! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:36:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, seeing as you decided to piss me about making me login from links I've allowed you to email me I am now no longer allowing you to email me. EVER! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:43:27 GMT)

Raymond Of all the things I miss, I miss my Blood Runners T-shirt the most. I wonder if EJ still has his (which was much better & ruder than mine)? (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 02:10:59 GMT)

Raymond You'd think a company like Bridgestone, Dunlop, Goodyear, Michelin or Pirelli were the leading maker of tyres by volume right? WRONG! Its LEGO. Yes, THAT Lego! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 02:50:06 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, whats the point of ticking "keep me logged in" if it DOESN'T? (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 15:01:15 GMT)

Raymond Is bunker tired. Haven't been this drowsy in a LONG time. (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 15:50:02 GMT)

Raymond No my ears don't squeak, its my glasses moving. Its a bloody annoying noise though! (Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:18:45 GMT)

Raymond finished Roo'd by Joshua Klein. The evil Disney Corp lost in the end. No clue what to read next. (Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:16:41 GMT)

Raymond finished The Hunger Games in a day. Now reading the 2nd in the trilogy. (Sat, 11 Jun 2011 13:55:42 GMT)

Raymond facebook now classes the Zynga taskbar as a spamlink & will require you to login every time you use it. Avoid it by getting into Fb from google. (Sat, 11 Jun 2011 14:56:43 GMT)

Raymond thinks that whatever the cause was a full reboot appears to have stopped it. bloody odd though. we'll see what J says in due course I guess. (Sun, 12 Jun 2011 16:23:53 GMT)

Raymond With just 2 hrs left I got the final job of Staten Island to 28%. I was never going to finish, not enough time or passes. Perhaps if they'd bothered to tell us the promotion had started I MIGHT have done it. (Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:12:51 GMT)

Raymond Avast5 is currently in the doghouse for failing to pick up 9 different Malware files which are now deleted. (Tue, 14 Jun 2011 12:11:14 GMT)

Raymond still no solution to the mouse issue, its either a faulty microswitch or a bollixed mouse driver. i guess next avenue is uninstall/reinstall (Tue, 14 Jun 2011 21:18:37 GMT)

Raymond After various virus sweeps, a usb reinstall & a hardware reinstall it seems the mouse itself is faulty. Guessing its the microswitches bollixed. Easy enough to buy a new one I suppose. It didn't last very long though, just over a year. (Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:10:41 GMT)

Raymond Saw "Paul" by Pegg & Frost. You've got to be INCREDIBLY nerdy to get all the film references. In other news, I discovered I am INCREDIBLY nerdy. (Wed, 15 Jun 2011 23:41:27 GMT)

Raymond Dear Lenovo (IBM as was), WTF is the point of selling a PC with the P/S 2 socket disabled in BIOS & no mouse command in the autoexec. You fucking RETARDS! (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 13:09:34 GMT)

Raymond Job Advertisers - We get you're a bunch of cheapskate bastards who want to put as little as poss so as to pay the bare minimum for the ad but at least list the hirers post code so we can Google who the fuck we might be working for? (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:39:08 GMT)

Raymond Sucker Punch. The Pussycat Dolls remake Tank Girl on hard drugs. Worse than Watchmen. And that was atrocious. I'm not sure how it got a PG-13 rating either. (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:36:08 GMT)

Raymond Phoned about a job in the paper, I wish they'd call a job what it is, Telesales is NOT Call Centre! That was a wasted phone call. (Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:30:08 GMT)

Raymond Number of Facebook statuses you've deleted before pressing enter knowing they were TMI? Heck, I deleted 2 before I typed this one! (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 00:05:27 GMT)

Raymond my current mouse has so many different coloured LED's in it you'd think EJ built it (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:12:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear VirginMedia, emailing me to tell me you've increased my upload speed to 1 MEG is NOTHING TO BE BOASTING ABOUT! ITS A SHIT SPEED AS WELL YOU KNOW (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 18:54:39 GMT)

Raymond The job centres favourite biweekly question is "Are you seeking work?". Lets see, its 1:16am & I just emailed off a job application. What do you think? (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:18:26 GMT)

Raymond Theres a very good reason why National Lampoon - Lemmings, Dead In Concert is so rarely seen on tv. Its because its REALLY shit. (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:13:49 GMT)

Raymond Dear Gas Servicing guy, No you didn't knock twice. All you did was mail the thing saying "no reply", thats NOT even knocking once. And according to that paper you phoned too? You lying TWAT! Consider a career in journalism, you are wasted on the Gas Fitting world. (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:01:52 GMT)

Raymond I Googled pictures of "Biscuits & Gravy". Those AREN'T Biscuits, their cookies. And Gravy should be BROWN, certainly not white! (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:28:35 GMT)

Raymond isn't normal. He's paranormal -"defying scientific explanation", sounds about right (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:53:38 GMT)

Raymond Mein hut, er hat kein ecken. I habe keine hut ;-P A non-English joke for the school kids there. Unless of course your school never taught you that song. (Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:39:52 GMT)

Raymond Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage - The Gertrude Perkins Effect! (Wed, 22 Jun 2011 19:34:56 GMT)

Raymond Information is on a "need to know" basis. Rule 1, If you have to ask, you don't need to know. Or you were too lazy to Google. Obviously not everything can be Googled, such is life. Questions like "Is my BFF a lesbian?" or "Can I get away with this?", in those cases, refer to Rule 1. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:28:41 GMT)

Raymond In the words of The Art Of Noise, "So what happens now?" (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:48:38 GMT)

Raymond Emma Hawkins on Four Rooms. Half Dita Von Teese, half Victoria Beckham.
ALL bloody sexy! (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:12:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Fox, please make a full length version of "Scratchtasia", it sounds cool. Also open an ACTUAL Mount Splashmore. Don't make me sing the song. Because I will. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:17:32 GMT)

Raymond I can't give you the moon on a stick. Being generous I can offer you the stick. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:40:47 GMT)

Raymond Yay! new mouse now installed! Its a Belkin. It thinks its a chameleon, it likes changing colour all the time. Its LED central. Time to smash the LUPO to pieces! (Fri, 24 Jun 2011 15:04:45 GMT)

Raymond Dear Volvic, If that Volcano HAD just erupted all those people would be boiled in that water. Ok? (Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:13:38 GMT)

Raymond To the director who thinks he is going to remake Wargames. Kill yourself. NOW! (Sun, 26 Jun 2011 13:59:08 GMT)

Raymond Take a lot of heat, add a lot of humidity, add more heat, sprinkle in more heat & humidity and you've got the weather I just mowed our front lawn in. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 13:25:53 GMT)

Raymond It's that hot invading aliens from Mercury went home because it was too hot for them here. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 13:32:44 GMT)

Raymond Watching Minder, every time Arthur calls his nephew Raymond it don't half make me cringe. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 20:28:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Magners, tell Eamon to Google "Beehive". Also sack him for not knowing what one is. (Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:24:57 GMT)

Raymond The only question Google can't answer - What the hell is Whigfield saying at the start of Saturday Night & what does it mean in English? (Thu, 30 Jun 2011 12:45:00 GMT)

Raymond Just waiting for the Jarre concert to start. (Fri, 01 Jul 2011 19:52:28 GMT)

Raymond is currently attending the 2nd cyber-concert he's ever been to. Done Tori Amos in New York, now I'm doing Jean Michel Jarre in Monaco. (Fri, 01 Jul 2011 20:01:01 GMT)

Raymond was watching University Challenge, I could have beaten Edinburgh on my own. (Mon, 04 Jul 2011 19:31:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Walkers Crinkles, Google McCoys you unoriginal twats. (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 13:17:19 GMT)

Raymond Hali, means carpet in Turkish. So Halifax - How DO you fax a carpet? (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:22:58 GMT)

Raymond At Swinderby in 3 Sqdn my bed was opposite a guy called Darryl Daley, 1 day the the D.I, comes in & shouts "DALEY!" so we stand to attention by our beds & respond "Corporal!". He just stands there & says "Fuck me, Stereo!". (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:14:24 GMT)

Raymond People say you're either a glass half full or glass half empty kinda person, personally I'm a what glass, where the hell did you get that drink from? kinda person ;-P (Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:52:33 GMT)

Raymond is currently reading Harry Potter. I assume JKR has no kids of her own otherwise she'd know if Harry attended a school in the Muggle world he'd be aware of Childline or Social Services & have the Dursleys arrested for making him live in a cupboard under the stairs for a decade. (Fri, 08 Jul 2011 11:29:13 GMT)

Raymond Hagrid said "Du bist ein Flughaven, Harry!". "I'm an airport? What drugs are you on, Hagrid?" (Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:37:57 GMT)

Raymond Dear BBC, where the fuck is the Athletics from Birmingham? Its a 2 day event, so why are you only showing it on Sunday? Its not like you have anything else on. (Sat, 09 Jul 2011 13:44:12 GMT)

Raymond Dear Peter Andre's "Here To Help", you did this EXACT same show format 7 yrs ago on ITV's "With A Little Help From My Friends". Which ripped off Challenge Anneka any way. (Sat, 09 Jul 2011 14:03:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear BBC, thanks for fucking us over & not showing the Athletics AT ALL. (Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:46:14 GMT)

Raymond Theres this religious incident where the chosen get taken up to heaven by Dinosaurs. Its called The Rapters ;-P (Sun, 10 Jul 2011 22:02:45 GMT)

Raymond "Nobody hurts themselves but themselves can't you tell?" Howling Bells, Setting Sun (Mon, 11 Jul 2011 12:15:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear Carlsberg Everest Mountaineer, according to Wiki the fastest climb up took 16hrs 45 mins & the fastest descent took 11 minutes. So unless your guys REALLY know forward planning they are going to miss their football game. (Tue, 12 Jul 2011 22:14:15 GMT)

Raymond Didn't win the Skoda Fabia VRS. DID get my name in the paper though ;-) (Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:28:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Nelson Muntz, the square root of 1 million is 1000. Google got it in less than a second. (Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:19:40 GMT)

Raymond Spotted a great goof in T2. The T1000 can't copy guns yet after morphing in the helicopter he's clearly firing the EXACT same gun he had on the motorbike earlier. FAIL! (Sun, 17 Jul 2011 01:33:51 GMT)

Raymond Google Plus is SHIT! You can't find anything associated with your "classic" account so I'm fucking it off in favour of the old look where I knew where everything was at least. (Mon, 18 Jul 2011 12:01:34 GMT)

Raymond Dear 118, If a Sergeants shout is way too loud then you are in the wrong job. Suck it up & quit being a bitch. Basic is SUPPOSED to be shitty hard. Deal with it! (Mon, 18 Jul 2011 17:28:48 GMT)

Raymond Hammer films always insisted on a very terminal ending in their titles like "Frankenstein Must be Destroyed!". Mind you I doubt "Frankenstein Should Be Kicked In The Ankles" wouldn't have sold quite as well ;-P (Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:59:45 GMT)

Raymond Strongest free wifi hotspot in Coventry City Centre? McDonalds in Cross Cheaping. (Fri, 22 Jul 2011 12:11:50 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, stop spamming me with this message "Keep your account free of spam
It looks like a spammy link posted into your address bar caused unintentional activity on your Facebook account.

Don’t worry, your account is safe and we ended the activity. Continue on for a few quick security tips." The link I clicked to get this message? The "approved" Zynga task bar. (Fri, 22 Jul 2011 13:33:28 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to Bleeding Cool's coverage of Comic Con I now have air dates for the returns of Doctor Who & The Walking Dead. And I know more about the new Alien movie. EXCELLENT! (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 08:12:14 GMT)

Raymond No matter how cool music gets, no-one is ever going to write a song called "Welcome To Prestatyn". "Welcome To Llanelli" is even less likely. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:09:59 GMT)

Raymond “Attention all beings!” Ford was the absolute centre of attention, and for at least three seconds also the centre of a micro universe which was born, grew, expanded and collapsed but had known absolutely everything about herring. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:08:43 GMT)

Raymond Sometimes when you think you've got 3 different ideas all you've actually got is the same idea written down 3 times in slightly different ways just far enough apart from each other that you can't see the other 2. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:36:33 GMT)

Raymond 7 months after writing it I finally typed up the stuff about Agrajag from the notebook, I think he is now a more fleshed out character than Douglas Adams ever considered possible. (Thu, 28 Jul 2011 21:00:34 GMT)

Raymond If this last Harry Potter book is anything like Half Blood Prince no-one will die until about the last 10 pages. I'll be honest, I'm expecting it to be shite (Thu, 28 Jul 2011 21:08:45 GMT)

Raymond Happy to report new microwave purchased & installed, testing its 1st cook now. Cornish Pasty ;-P (Fri, 29 Jul 2011 11:27:44 GMT)

Raymond Final Harry Potter finished. The first 3/4's of the book is as dull as dishwater, all the decent action is at the end. If you judge it just on that section its a good book. (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 11:22:15 GMT)

Raymond If you think the computer graphics on The Last Starfighter look primitive thats because it was THE first movie to EVER use CGI. (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:53:09 GMT)

Raymond Dear Perri Shakes Drayton. please sort your trail leg. Your technique is HORRIBLE! And Jess Ennis? Please sort your excessive lateral movement in the long jump. Its the long jump, not the side jump! (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:12:05 GMT)

Raymond Great goof in "Under Seige". All the baddies are carrying silenced machine guns. But the all the sound effects are UNSUPPRESSED guns! (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 22:32:25 GMT)

Raymond To the Air Staff Registry crew who remember "The Poetry Challenge"? Apparently its really called Tzara's hat. I bet no-one else has ever written a poem using random words from the MOD phone directory before or since ;-) (Mon, 01 Aug 2011 11:23:51 GMT)

Raymond Nice to see my knowledge of Top Gun characters & 8 Bit computers paid off in this weeks Only Forward quiz ;-P (Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:05:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear "Henry Goode", please invent a licorice that DOESN'T need scissors to open the bag. (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:08:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if you don't want me to enter identical statuses then update you POC! (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:10:13 GMT)

Raymond The great thing about a microwave is you can have delicious Stir Fry without having to do either of those 2 things ;-) So it needs to be renamed Spin Beep. (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:13:47 GMT)

Raymond How to get drunk really cheaply. Wait for an insanely hot day - like today. Wait until you are insanely dehydrated - like I was. Then have 1 bottle of beer, and get wasted. (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:33:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear everywhere with "FREE" Wifi, if your server asks me for an O2 phone # (especially when I'm not even using a mobile) then your Wifi ISN'T free! Cough MDONALDS! Cough THE FLYING STANDARD! (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:38:05 GMT)

Raymond CNN, ruining the lives of OMDC Clerks since 1991. Twats! (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:06:46 GMT)

Raymond Dear RAF Recuitment Ad, are you that strapped for cash that clerks are doing OOA Op's in NWD? Don't you issue greens any more? (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 12:01:11 GMT)

Raymond For those wondering what happened with no Penn & Teller: Fool Us yesterday on ITV, the next show will air August 27, 2011 at 8pm. So you can watch Doctor Who and then watch Penn & Teller. (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 12:12:57 GMT)

Raymond Mistake just spotted in Eragon. So Eragon fires an arrow into the baddies skull whilst facing him. Then you see bad guy with the arrow tip sticking out of his head. Oooops! What fuckwitted idiot in continuity missed that one then? (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 17:43:55 GMT)

Raymond To any of my RAF friends who've seen the Big Brother ad on 5, is that RAF Uxbridge their filming at? It kinda looks vaguely familiar. (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 19:11:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear people in the UK Kindle advert, none of you have ever owned or even used a Kindle & its blatantly obvious. Why? All of you have left it switched on, not in sleep mode. BUSTED! (Mon, 08 Aug 2011 18:49:25 GMT)

Raymond Dear Metropolitan Police, you are deploying the wrong people. SO19. And no it's not violating their rights as they've already used deadly force by starting fires. (Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:04:37 GMT)

Raymond Megahobblenobble steigerpoptastic at der weekender mit der Pet Shop Boys, duff, duff, duff! (Tue, 09 Aug 2011 15:20:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Intel, whats all this bullshit in your new advert about the 2nd generation of Processors? How quicly you've forgotten the x 86's, Then the Pentium. Then the dual core. Then the quad core. Need I go on demonstrating how bad your memories are? (Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:19:15 GMT)

Raymond Apparently according to that girl on the Twilight advert everyone who is pale & whose eyes change colour are a vampire. Best avoid the Glaucoma ward then! Most of us are photophobic & the anti-pressure drugs change your eye colour.

Perhaps explore Google for a diagnosis before assuming Vampire like the dozy bitch you are next time Bella? (Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:33:51 GMT)

Raymond Best book ever written? "Help, I Am A Prisoner In A Toothpaste Factory!". (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 12:41:54 GMT)

Raymond Yes you could be in the RAF Reserve but the regulars WILL take every chance to call you a Weekend Warrior, refer to you as "SAS" (Saturday And Sunday Soldier) & take the piss whenever the chance arises. (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:12:45 GMT)

Raymond The Royal Air Force are issuing a new directive. Every station will now be known as RAF Cloesyn Down. Just in case. (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:23:27 GMT)

Raymond "My name's Idris Elba & I'm actually fuck all to do with Hip Hop but have somehow managed to get picked to front a show about how Hip Hop changed the world" (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:28:08 GMT)

Raymond Dear PC, screwing me over by removing the mixing device IS NOT funny. Yes, its easy enough to fix (simple reboot) but this is the 2nd thing to have crapped out in as many weeks. If you continue on this rocky road I will replace you in a fucking heartbeat you little piece of shit. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 01:13:24 GMT)

Raymond Virus sweep done, MBR threat removed. Where was it hiding? In the antivirus directory, real cute. I'm still trying to work out how it got on the system if Avast is supposed to scan all downloads. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 03:43:50 GMT)

Raymond Martin Prince on The Simpsons is actually a LOT cooler than he appears. Mainly because he knows who Jethro Tull is. If you said "He's the author of New Horse Hoeing Husbandry" then score no points. Wrong Jethro Tull. Paul Wainwright, please to be amazed that I was able to name the book he wrote from memory! (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 04:24:32 GMT)

Raymond P'Tang Yang Kipperbang, Uh! As true today as it was in the 1980's. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 04:27:20 GMT)

Raymond Dear Google, stop sending me to the en-gb Facebook. It hasn't got my autologin details & I don't want to use it - Get the hint! Dear Facebook, fix your global link to stop spamming me on login. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 12:41:59 GMT)

Raymond Currently performing a labour of love, scanning all the images from My Friend Mr Leakey. Fortunately its not a very long book. Unfortunately theres a picture on pretty much every other page. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 15:02:28 GMT)

Raymond In a survey more people would prefer to go to Button Moon than the actual Moon. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:24:02 GMT)

Raymond Debunked a dream with the genuis move of going somewhere I hadn't been & caught some guy putting up scenery. Funny as fuck! (Mon, 15 Aug 2011 13:19:20 GMT)

Raymond ITV are offering you a choice. Arnie in Red Heat or Arnie in Conan The Destroyer. (Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:28:26 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the producer of Book Of Eli & Dude, Where's My Car thinks he's going to reimagine Bladerunner. Mate, I've seen your IMDB cv. You couldn't make a boiled egg if I boiled the water 1st for you. (Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:48:31 GMT)

Raymond Having a quick bit of scran then off to see Mr H to hopefully sort the Kindle. See you in about 5, Martin. (Sat, 20 Aug 2011 12:13:48 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox, heres a crazy idea. When I shut you down by clicking that X in the top right corner how about actually STOPPING running at that exact moment as opposed to taking another 30 seconds ? (Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:45:31 GMT)

Raymond Mystery of the Kanji tagged track solved. It was Lazy Moon by Groove Armada. I still say it sounds like Tangerine Dream (Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:28:06 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, just because that 4yo PC won't run your O/S doesn't mean its a bad PC. It means you wrote a resource hungry piece of crap O/S. (Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:22:51 GMT)

Raymond Dear Family Guy, Peter Griffin can't have a vasectomy. He's a Catholic. Or can you not remember your own characters back stories? (Thu, 25 Aug 2011 22:32:17 GMT)

Raymond To the makers of "Combat Hospital" any member of the armed forces would know better than to use a radio after finding any kind of bomb. EPIC FAIL! (Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:11:49 GMT)

Raymond Thai Chicken Soup with Lemongrass rice. Freaking delish! Oh, and Facebook. I don't need instructions on how to update my status. (Sat, 03 Sep 2011 21:19:16 GMT)

Raymond Hagrid stepped forward delivering the verdict "You're a zombie, Harry!". Ron Weasley grabbed the axe & preceded to chop his former friends head off. "Hermione's going to bloody kill me for this!" he said to himself. (Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:27:00 GMT)

Raymond Why can't I Google instructions on how to fix my scanner? FFS Agfa you don't even make the things any more so I can't even replace it. Its done well to last 8 yrs tho! (Wed, 07 Sep 2011 22:05:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, if I tell Windows update to stop I expect it not only to stop but to STAY stopped. If I wanted my CPU raped I'd invite Bill Gates over to fuck my computer. Not that he hasn't already been doing that for the last 25 yrs. (Thu, 08 Sep 2011 01:04:17 GMT)

Raymond Athletics - The steeplechase might LOOK easy but those hurdles are about 3ft (the height of the average humans genitals) but they dont fall when you hit them. Its not an easy event, I can tell you from personal experience. That water jump is always filthy too! (Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:43:46 GMT)

Raymond Would like to wish Michael J Fox & his Parkinsons foundation the best of luck with their Ebay sale of the Nike Mag trainers (currently going for at LEAST $4,500 per pair!). You looked great on Letterman dude! (Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:49:12 GMT)

Raymond LOVING Futurama's usage of the Battle Of The Planets theme tune. But also great sadness that almost none of its fans will probably get the reference. (Fri, 09 Sep 2011 13:17:44 GMT)

Raymond Happy birthday & thank you to Jack Daniels for the free coasters. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 10:54:42 GMT)

Raymond Has written a parody of the Bulmers advert where "My friends band" turns out to be Jedward & the guy gets bottled off the stage and it all ends in a massive bar fight. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 12:43:27 GMT)

Raymond All I can say is Torchwood fans, don't hold your breath. It certainly wasn't worth the wait & putting it over 10 shows just kicked the arse out of an already terrible overly long story. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 15:22:23 GMT)

Raymond Counting the Microsoft way:- 1,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,2,20,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.
And this from a company of so called "professionals"? I don't know how bad the American school system actually is but at least the rest of the world knows how to count properly! (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 13:53:13 GMT)

Raymond Big push to finish the last 4 chapters. It'd be made a LOT quicker if Scanwise kept its settings the same between scans is all I can say. So much for German efficiency. (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 14:25:05 GMT)

Raymond Scanning over, OCR & proofing time! It took an hour and 46 mins to scan 4 chapters plus illustrations (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:11:53 GMT)

Raymond To the company who spammed me sending me their current catalogue by thanking me for buying from them in 2006 do you have ANY clue how illegal it is to retain a customers details for THAT long? (Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:42:30 GMT)

Raymond Its amazing how after a week after uninstalling that USB router & its software I'm STILL finding stuff it changed without asking me. My computer would have been less ruined if I'd taken a hammer to it. (Tue, 13 Sep 2011 23:48:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear Windows, whats the point of offering me a date to restore back to, running through the entire process only to reboot & then tell me you can't restore back to that date. You useless piece of shit. (Wed, 14 Sep 2011 11:26:24 GMT)

Raymond Wickes red pencil prices. Now I know I have bad eyes but that pencil is totally NOT writing in red. (Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:15:31 GMT)

Raymond Is now having a snooze after yesterdays extremely late night/ridiculously early morning. Please speak to other brother for all queries. (Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:03:18 GMT)

Raymond Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times:
Oh the Grand Old Duke Of York, He had 10,000 men,
But that was before the military cuts & now he's only got 100.
And their all in Afghanistan for the 4th time. (Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:17:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if it ain't broke DON'T FIX IT! The more you change stuff, the harder it is to find it. You've changed the layout 3 times in less than 6 months. Stop being such dick heads & LEAVE IT ALONE! (Thu, 22 Sep 2011 11:08:25 GMT)

Raymond Dear Hollywood, Ryan Reynolds as a superhero? With all the complete turkeys he's been in? Don't make me laugh. Because he doesn't. Do you not remember how badly Daredevil flopped? Or Electra? Or the 1st attempt at The Hulk? (Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:53:16 GMT)

Raymond Please do me a favor and move your mouse over my name here, wait for the box to load and then move your mouse over the "Subscribed" link. Then uncheck the "Comments and Likes".

I would really rather that my comments on friends and families posts not be made public, thank You! Then re-post this if you don't want your every single move posted on the right side in the "Ticker Box" for everyone to see!

I'm posting this not only for myself, but also so that my friends and family will know to ask others to do the same if they would not like their every move on facebook noticed. Thanks! (Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:01:02 GMT)

Raymond Front garden mowed, mowing log updated. looking forward to a shower in a bit after some scran and a drink. (Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:45:06 GMT)

Raymond Hates VirginMedia's broadband traffic shaping policy. twats. Shaped to a tenth of what I'm paying for? Whats the point of paying full price then? (Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:52:58 GMT)

Raymond Now Steve Jobs is dead its about time Apple told the truth about the "Look & Feel " lawsuit they lost and alledged bribery of a judge (by Bill Gates). If the truth really DID come out Microsoft stock would be effectly worthless. (Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:16:37 GMT)

Raymond Computer History 101 - Everything Windows is, it stole from Macintosh. Who stole it wholesale from Xerox.

Admit it, You're saying "Who are Macintosh?". Unless you're Jason. (Sat, 08 Oct 2011 19:43:42 GMT)

Raymond I still can't work out who thought 6 human adults could work in the original OMDC at the same time. You got great views of the Navy girls legs through the side saloon door though ;-) Ding Dong! (Sat, 08 Oct 2011 21:01:50 GMT)

Raymond Things I know I'll never be able to do. Have a million pounds, register my bloody Kindle. (Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:58:53 GMT)

Raymond Season 2 of The Walking Dead - FX, Friday 21st October 10pm in the UK. (Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:40:44 GMT)

Raymond Spotted a MASSIVE mistake in Close Encounters. The sequence of sounds the people are singing in India aren't the tones the spaceships play. In fact the French guy has to present them edited, looped & resequenced for them to even be the tones. Who screwed up there then? (Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:22:26 GMT)

Raymond Name the tallest peak on Earth. No Googling either! (Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:43:40 GMT)

Raymond Finished reading "One Train Later", the autobiography of Police guitarist Andy Summers. Very enjoyable & quite educational for a music fan. Never knew he'd been in The Animals! Highly recommended for my muso friends. (Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:25:51 GMT)

Raymond Must be getting desparate, applied for a job where the only info was the job title. No mention of pay/hours.who its for, where it is. (Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:28:23 GMT)

Raymond From this weeks Clone Wars episode - "General Skywalker, I've turned the lights off" . Yet mere seconds later the craft is flying with its lights STILL ON. (Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:22:15 GMT)

Raymond Things my Kindle taught me:- A drongo & a galah are both types of bird! The Kindle dictionary is quite educational. (Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:15:00 GMT)