All About Anything

William And Sly 2 Map

2011-12-27T18:28:00.002Z

This map shows the locations of all rune stones, frost fairies, ahmni posts and fire posts. I have also marked the location of home and the fox den. It doesn't show all elemental boxes because I'd already found 2 and unlocked them before I started making this map.

IRC Undernet G-lined Virus

2011-11-24T13:39:00.004Z

Recently I was having problems connecting on IRC to Undernet, it as reporting that I had a virus and I kept getting g-lined and instantly disconnected.

Did a sweep with Hijackthis, nothing out of the ordinary.
Did a sweep with Spybot S&D, nothing found.
Did a sweep with Ad-aware, also nothing found.

So I assumed it was a false positive, decided I couldn't use Undernet any more & switche d to IRCHiughway.

Then last night before going to bed I decided to run my antivirus software over my main hard drive.

THAT found something. 5 infected files were found.
3 hidden in Documents & Settings/Network Services (A folder that doesn't even exist!)
2 hidden in numbered subfolders inside my Sun/Java area.

I told Avast to put them into the virus chest, then I deleted them from the chest.

Tried to reconnect to Undernet, no more error messages about viri.
Clearly I WAS infected then.

I've written up this post so if anyone else has the same issue, they can look in the same places and find the virus more easily.

I Don't Like Farmville (with apologies to Bob Geldof & The Boomtown Rats)

2011-11-09T16:32:00.000Z

I Don't Like Farmville (with apologies to Bob Geldof & The Boomtown Rats)

by Raymond Daley on Thursday, 01 July 2010 at 19:12

The silicon chip inside their head
Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna get to plough today,
Their going to make them go offline.

And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said it was good as gold.
And he can see no seasons
'Cause there are no seasons
What season do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
I want to shoot
The Zynga staff.

The 'net machine is kept so clean
As it skypes to a waiting world.
And mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to
Their own little farm.

Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat.
They can see no seasons
'Cause there are no seasons
What seasons do you need.. ooh-ooh-ooh

Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
I want to shoot
The Zynga staff, staff, staff... shoot all the staff

All the farming's stopped in the farmground now
She wants to farm with her toys a while.
And harvests early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die.
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain tackles,
With the problems and the hows and whys.
And he can see no seasons
'Cause there are no seasons
What season do you need to cry, cry, ooh...ooh?

The silicon chip inside their head
Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna get to plough today,
Their going to make them go offline.

And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said it was good as gold.
And he can see no seasons
'Cause there are no seasons
What season do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville
Tell me why?
I don't like, I don't like, I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like, I don't like, I don't like Farmville.
Tell me why?
I don't like Farmville.
I want to shoot
The Zynga staff.

Opening an Agfa Snapscan scanner

2011-09-08T00:37:00.005+01:00

I did this with an Agfa Snapscan E50 but by the looks of it all the snapscans will open the same way.

You may well get to a point where you want to clean inside the glass of your snapscan. Its not easy but its possible.
Opening it WILL void your warranty (if you still have one) but if you are beyond that point and are willing to give it a go then here is how its done.

WARNING/CAVEAT - Attempt this at your own risk. If you break your scanner trying this its not my fault.

Firstly don't bother looking for screws to unscrew, there aren't any.

Start by removing the lid (unplug the power lead, usb lead and lid power lead and open the lid, tilt the hinges and it should eventually come away from the scanner.

Secondly get yourself a slim flatblade screwdriver or other strongish flat impliment. Turn the scanner upside down and start at the end with all the lead holes.

Insert your blade into the plastic between the white and dark grey parts just below the hinges, you should see a little retaining catch that you can pry loose, theres another where the other hinge is.

On the front the catches are to the right and left of the control panel, be careful when you lever those loose as theres parts that can move inside the scanner so turn the whole thing right side up and remove the white cover that holds the glass.

What you should have is 2 bits, the white bit with the glass on and the dark grey bit with all the electronics on.

Wipe the inside of the glass with a dry cloth (a glasses cleaning cloth is ideal).

Replacing the cover just reverse what you did, lever the front catches in first then the rear. Replace the lid and replug in all you leads. One clean scanner glass.

Building A Better Kindle (or whats wrong with the Kindle 3)

2011-08-19T12:43:00.004+01:00

Lets be honest, the Kindle 3 is FUCKING SHIT.
I'm not going to piss about here, I want to say what I mean and fuck Amazon if they can't handle an honest opinion.

I've owned my Kindle 3 (wifi only) now since mid April.
As a device for reading books its pretty darn good. But its got a LOT of faults.

If you look into the history of the Kindle 2 and the original Kindle you can see how good they were.
And what a complete piece of shit the Kindle 3 actually is.

The Kindle 2 had a changeable battery. Thats been removed in the Kindle 3, you can't even access the battery in that. So theres reason 1 to hate the Kindle 3 right there, once the battery won't take a charge any more you've got a device thats no longer functional. You've got to ask WHY Amazon decided they didn't want us users changing the battery in our Kindle 3.

Probably to make us buy another Kindle. Not happening in this lifetime Amazon.

Again if you look at the Kindle 2 it had a numeric keypad. That's gone as well, replaced by a SYM key. It's as annoying as hell to use, especially if you have any long numbers to enter. Bring back the numeric keys.

The Kindle 2 also had bigger keys, I bet they were easier to press. The K3's keys are INSANELY small. And rounded. And real easy to miss and also pretty hard to press in. The K2 had square keys, they look so much nicer & easier to use.

Functionality out of the box. Frankly this is my biggest gripe with Amazon & the K3. There is SO much the K3 won't do unless its been registered via wifi. You can't set the clock, you can't make collections, you can't name the Kindle.

All you are limited to is putting books on, reading them, setting bookmarks & using the dictionary.

Ah, the dictionary. Another gripe. Is there any reason why Amazon think British customers will want an American dictionary? Most British adults will be more than aware how badly Americans manage spellings of certain words yet you can't delete that dictionary. Why not? Surely the K3's drive space is mine to use as I wish?

PDF's. A major bugbear since the original Kindle from what I read. Surely being in its 3rd incarnation the device should be able to do some tinkering with a PDF? Nope, just view it from different positions. You can't even fucking ZOOM in for crying out loud? Even the worst cheapest PDF readers offer that option.

I think all these issues say a lot about Amazon. The fact they don't even give you ANY kind of cover for the device (and trust me it's extremely flimsy & looks very easy to break if it dropped from any kind of height) to offer any kind of splash or water protection or protection for the screen.

Its instructions aren't great (especially not for a Kindle novice) and its not very helpful about charging times, especially for its intial 1st out of the box charge. The information both the paper and electronic instructions give is wrong (it says charge for 3 hours but it is supposed to be charged for 6 hours on its very 1st charge.)

It could do with having a much wider range of fonts and USB internet access (which apparently the K2 had but was removed for the K3).

So there you are. The Kindle 3 has a LOT of faults. Obviously all the people who wrote such glowing reviews of it didn't know any better.

Snailiad maps, all areas, all items

2011-08-15T17:55:00.001+01:00

Toaster

2011-05-20T19:36:00.002+01:00

Cleaned toaster today.
From now on the 20th of each month will be the day to clean the toaster.

That way it won't get full of gunk and burn bread like its got a very bad habit of doing.

I have 1 day Walkthrough (best ending)

2011-04-20T18:51:00.000+01:00

I have 1 day Walkthrough

Objective 1: Get Out of Prison, Best Route: 1 Hour

Prison

Pick up the MOP.
Use the MOP on the LOOSE BRICK to loosen it.
If you have trouble seeing the LOOSE BRICK, it's to the right of your characters head.
Use the MOP on the CHAMBER POT to make a WET MOP.
Use the WET MOP on the DRY DIRT to loosen the soil.
Click on the WET DIRT to dig your way out. This will take 1 HOUR.

Outside Prison

Pick up the SCARECROW.
Pick up the ONION.
Use the SCARECROW on YOURSELF to take its clothes.
Click on the BUSH to go back into the PRISON.
Make sure to go into the prison via the Bush or else you will bump into the Prison Guard.

Prison

Use the SCARECROW on the BED to make a dummy.
Click on the HOLE to exit the prison.

Outside Prison

Use the SCARECROW CLOTHES on YOURSELF to change clothes.
Exit the PRISON GROUNDS.

Objective 2: Speak to a Wizard, Best Route: 6 Hours
NOTE: Zanda's Magic Shop opens at 7:00.
That means you have spare time which you need to burn productively.

Map

Go to the TOWN. This will take 2 HOURS.

Town

Use the MOP on the TOWN WELL.
Speak to the JOB BOARD LADY and TAKE A JOB. This will take 1 HOUR.
It doesn't matter which job you take, any is fine.
Exit the TOWN.

Map

Go to the PRISON. This will take 2 HOURS.

Outside Prison

Enter the PRISON via the MAIN ENTRANCE.

Prison

Pick up your BELONGINGS.
You should get 50 GOLD, YOUR CLOTHES, and a BLOODY ARROWHEAD.
Exit the PRISON.

Outside Prison

Enter the PRISON via the BUSH.

Prison

Pick up the SCARECROW.
Exit the PRISON via the HOLE.

Outside Prison

Exit the PRISON GROUNDS.

Map

Go to the MAGIC SHOP. This will take 1 HOUR.

Magic Shop

Click on the DOOR to enter the shop.
Speak to ZANDA THE WIZARD. He will give you a CANTEEN.

Objective 3: Zanda Needs 100g, Water, and my Blood, Best Route: 0 Hours

Magic Shop

Give ZANDA THE WIZARD the WET MOP.
Give ZANDA THE WIZARD your GOLD.
Give ZANDA THE WIZARD the BLOODY ARROW HEAD.

Objective 4: Get to Dragon's Den, Best Route: 5 Hours

Magic Shop

Exit the MAGIC SHOP.

Map

Go to the DRAGON's DEN. This will take 2 HOURS.

Swamp

Speak to the THREE WIZARDS.
Take the YELLOW WIZARDS first challenge.
Choose the YELLOW WIZARD as the answer.
Speak to the YELLOW WIZARD again to take on the second challenge.
Select YOURSELF and the RED WIZARD to go to the DRAGON'S DEN.
Select YOURSELF to go back to the SWAMP.
Select the YELLOW AND BLUE WIZARD to go to the DRAGON'S DEN.
Select the RED WIZARD to go back to the SWAMP.
Select YOURSELF and the RED WIZARD to go to the DRAGON'S DEN.
Choose this as your answer. This should take 3 HOURS.

Objective 5: Zanda Needs Dragon Water, Best Route: 2 Hours

Dragon's Den

Use the CANTEEN on the LITTER BOX.
You will receive UNDISTILLED... DRAGON WATER.
Use the SCARECROW on the CORPSE.
Use the ONION on the DRAGON. You will receive DRAGON WATER.
Use the UNDISTILLED... DRAGON WATER on YOURSELF to cover your smell.
Exit the DRAGON'S DEN.

Map

Go to the MAGIC SHOP. This will take 2 HOURS.

Magic Shop

Give ZANDA THE WIZARD the DRAGON WATER.

Objective 6: Pick up the Counter-spell When It Finishes, Best Route: 5 Hours

Magic Shop

Exit the MAGIC SHOP.

Map

Go to the TOWN. This will take 2 HOURS.

Town

Speak to the JOB BOARD LADY.
Press the MUTE BUTTON on your GUI.
Speak to the JOB BOARD LADY and TAKE A JOB. This will take 1 HOUR.
Exit the TOWN.

Map

Go to the MAGIC SHOP. This will take 2 HOURS.

Magic Shop

Use your GOLD on the HASTE SCROLLS to purchase it.
Speak to ZANDA THE WIZARD to receive the WAND.

Objective 7: Get to the Castle, Best Route: 2 Hours

Magic Shop

Exit the MAGIC SHOP.

Map

Go to the INNER GATE. This will take 1 HOUR.

Inner Gate

Use the HASTE SCROLL on the CLOCK.
Speak to the GUARD.
Exit the INNER GATE.

Map

Go to the CASTLE. This will take 1 HOUR.

Castle

Use the WAND on the BLACK WIZARD.
Use the WAND on the PRINCE.
Watch the CREDITS.

Thoughts on My Ghost Story s02e02

2011-04-20T17:06:00.000+01:00

This was the 1st story, the woman complaining about the entity in the bedroom.

I'm sorry but it was a TERRIBLE and OBVIOUS fake.

The more they showed the clips of the "entity" jumping on and off the bed the more obvious it was that it was someone just slapping their hand onto the bed and pulling it out of shot.

The more I watched it (especially the slow-mo) the easier it was to tell it was a hand attached to an arm. If this show hadn't been in HD they MIGHT have gotten away with it.

Go back and watch it again. Tell me I'm wrong.
Heck, screen cap it if you don't believe me.

Kindle battery life

2011-04-13T18:46:00.003+01:00

My Kindle has just had its 2nd charge of just over 3 hours and its now in sleep mode.

wed 13th April 2011, 6.46pm
Date and approx time being noted, I will blog again when I get the next low battery report as the 1st one happened in less than 7 days.

Its now Monday 2nd May 2011, I've been on half power for about a day or so now. If we make it to the 4th that'll be 3 weeks.

Crap, it looks like I forgot to log the day the Kindle died from the above experiment. I know it made it past the 4 week mark and was on the 1st or 2nd day of the 5th week when it died.

Mon 30th May 2011, the Kindle gave a low battery report at about 1am this morning, I was able to carry on reading for another hour then I put it on charge. This experiment had been using sleep mode only, the Kindle lived for 17 days of usage. Proof positive that turning the Kindle off uses less battery than sleep mode.

Sun 12th June 2011 6:46pm
Just had my first technical problem with the Kindle, the screen kept "ghosting" or leaving after images of the text from the previous page each time I did a page turn. Intially hard resets fixed it but it came back after the first page turn. Did a software update to version 3.1 which appears to have fixed the issue.

Pretty annoying that the device is less than 2 months old and is already having tech problems. It doesn't bode well for a long life.

Fridge Leak Diary

2011-03-24T23:55:00.005Z

Today, 24th March 2011

friday 1st april 2011.

Tuesday 20th April 2011.

The end of V?

2011-03-16T16:18:00.001Z

I've been quite enjoying the reimagined version of V but yesterdays episode was supposed to be the last.

The only issue there is so much was left open.
The Earth and most of its occupants were Blissed but Erica and the Project Ares cabal were safe and untouched leaving some resistance still left.

Apparently the pull-out shot that showed tons more ships arriving was supposed to let us know The Visitors had conquered Earth. My problem there is Bliss wears off and no self respecting human is going to sit on their hands and let a bunch of aliens take our planet.

They either have to make 1 final special to resolve the fates of ALL the characters or make season 3.

My TNA Catch-up, Victory Road PPV 2011

2011-03-15T17:33:00.002Z

Its unfair to judge an entire PPV on one match so heres a quicky review of what TNA put on offer this weekend.

Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer - Ray made it no DQ, shades of classic EC Dub during the match. Tommy won off the 3D with an assist from Devon after Devons sons provided a distraction from the ramp.

Knockout Tag Championship, Angelina Love & Winter vs Sarita & Rosita - Its my 1st time seeing Rosita (imported from CMLL so a good background there) & Winter (former WWE worker Katy Leah) work in TNA as I don't watch Impact any more (because its shit). Not a bad match but it could have done without the gimmick finish. Sarita & Rosita win after failed interference from Velvet Sky as Sarita turned over a small package. Apart from the crappy finish this was a pretty decent match.

First Blood Match, Hernandez vs Matt Morgan - With Morgans reputation for not bumping & hating putting others over I felt this was always going one way only. Someone should tell Taz that a ref wouldn't kick a paying member of the audience (not unless he wanted to end TNA with a lawsuit) so whoever dived into the ring was an obvious plant, the fact it set up Hernandez to use the chain made it even more of an obvious work. If Hernandez was doing a blade job when he was face down in his own corner it looked VERY sloppy, the whole "squirting fake blood" was a stupid idea as was Brian Hebner getting bumped off camera. Hernandez got the win after 2nd Ref Jackson James saw the fake blood on Morgan. Piss poor gimmick finish.

X Division Championship Ultimate X Match, Kazarian vs Robbie E vs Max Buck vs Jeremy Buck - Not a bad match, not exactly spot heavy but some good aerials. Kazarian retained his title. Possibly setting up for Generation Me to feud and split up too at the end.

Tag Team Championship, Ink Inc vs Beer Money - Pretty dull spot free match where Beer Money retained their titles. Also seemed to be another set-up for Ink Inc to split as well.

AJ Styles vs Matt Hardy - Hardy looked a bit weird around the eyes in his pre-match interview, kinda drunk or drugged out. Whatever made him squint like that, it didn't look good for Matt. Exactly what is this issue with Matt Hardy & his weight? Last PPV he looked slim(ish) & pretty ripped, now he looks flabby around the edges again like he hasn't been training. Matt was a passenger for most of this match with 90% of the spots & bumps taken by Styles, AJ took the win off a Pele into a Spiral Tap. Despite recently coming back from an injury Styles gave an excellent account of himself.

#1 Contenders Match, RVD vs Mr Anderson - Not a great match that ended in a double count out after Anderson took a nasty fall & hit his head on the concrete after missing the ring mats.

World Heavyweight Championship, Jeff Hardy vs Sting - Well this is the match everyone is talking about and for all the wrong reasons. Jeff took a long time to finally come out to his music & stumbled & staggered his way to the ring. During Stings entrance Ref Brian Hebner said something to SoCal Val, Jeremy Borash really ran out the introductions as long as he could which allowed Eric Bischoff time to invent something then get himself to the ring.

Ignore what he's saying on the mic about "The Network", that was just the cover to pass whatever message to Jeff to take a fast dive.

Again ignore Bischoff asking Sting to shake his hand, yet another smokescreen to pass a similar message to Sting to put Jeff down as fast as he can. No clue if the punch & stamp on Bischoff were kayfabe or not but he looked in genuine pain. Here's Stings entire offence from start to finish - Headlock, kick, axehandle, punch, Scorpion Deathdrop.

Ring the bell, Sting is still champ. Yes, Jeff did ask about him kicking out. Yes Brian did say nope, never gonna happen. By the way, exactly what are the 2 blood marks that look like a vampire bite on the right side of Stings neck as he leaves? And if you are curious why Sting says "I agree" the fans were chanting "This is bullshit".

With 5 full minutes of airtime to fill the colour desk had to review the whole PPV to fill the dead air.

If this isn't what kills TNA then they can't be killed. Its going to take a lot to get TNA out of this hole, I recommend they all drop their spades.

Facebook status history as far back as it went

2011-02-17T17:56:00.010Z

Apparently since they went to the "New Look" Facebook a few weeks back you now can't go right back to your very 1st status any more, I think this is missing at least 2 yrs worth.

Raymond Arthur Dent briefly panicked as he felt himself going mad. Then remembering the famous words on the cover of the Guide he relaxed slightly accepting the fact that if he was going mad at least the journey wasn't a long one and the destination was vaguely f (Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:18:42 GMT)

Raymond I took a note, sawtooth wave, right off this pantomime 4, ran it back here, re-jammed it through itself, looped it back, mixed it with the sound of this crab committing suicide, and let it stew in its own reverb for about three hours, right? And then I pu (Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:25:45 GMT)

Raymond SPOONS! (Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:57:53 GMT)

Raymond Sree. Really sweet or truly creepy little bastard? YOU DECIDE! (Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:49:40 GMT)

Raymond give her my best buddy ;-) having it anywhere special? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:35:27 GMT)

Raymond Its 3864.49 miles to Chicago (I looked it up on Google), I've got no cigarettes (well I don't smoke), Its not dark and I'm wearing sunglasses. Hit It! (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:06:00 GMT)

Raymond Wolfpack wonders #1:- Today I wonder how many remember Carolines Plastic Hedgehog? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 16:39:37 GMT)

Raymond Sad Cafe once sang that every day hurts. Isn't that what painkillers are for? (Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:42:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, please stop putting ppl down as different ppl on chat when its the same person on different lists. You annoying bastards, please learn to recognise the same name in different lists. The code can't be THAT fucking hard can it? (Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:29:42 GMT)

Raymond Its my duty to tell you you aren't funny, you've never been funny, your simply an arsehole on Facebook. Whoever you are. ;-p (Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:05:45 GMT)

Raymond Today Jack Daniels sent me a barbeque marinade brush. For free. I like when they give me presents ;-) (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:28:25 GMT)

Raymond You know its too hot when:- Theres sweat pissing out of every pore, your stuck to your chair & its too much effort to stand. Kind of like right now in fact. Iceflow nowhere to go, trapped in the blinding whiteness of the tundra, OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 21:35:31 GMT)

Raymond Todays sentance to teach Sree "I'm a creepy little shit". And now repeat. (Fri, 03 Jul 2009 22:24:00 GMT)

Raymond Dear Brian, we're REALLY sorry about the Belgian Communist thing. It was just Nick & Bill pissing about like they do. Your lawyer told us the food isn't THAT bad & The Embassy there say someone will look into your case. We promise never to do it again. (Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:21:08 GMT)

Raymond I guess everyone else who updated their Lenova M series to put a PCI graphics card in it had already updated their PSU then. Why didn't they fucking mention that or did they not think it might be helpful to other owners? (Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:05:30 GMT)

Raymond A man once said "Life is never enough, but its all you get". Profound guy. (Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:36:17 GMT)

Raymond I've put my profile picture back to an image of me so if I've recently requested to be your friend you can see who the bloody hell I am. Its just me. Hello! (Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:42:27 GMT)

Raymond So the idea is Deep Thought was a fake, theres been about 500 of them & Earth has never actually been built, its just a virtual mock up which the Golgafrinchams constantly fuck up before it gets properly started. I bet its better than any idea that twat (Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:23:11 GMT)

Raymond Ford ranted & boggled at the prospect of Zaphod getting things right. Ford didn't mind boggling, it was painless & burned very few calories. He actually believed it made his hair look nicer afterwards too which was a bonus. (Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:56:20 GMT)

Raymond Tunes to rock out to :- Thalamusik (Zzap64 Megatape version). Yes. Its STILL that good even after 22 years! Rob rocks the Fairlight (well a Yamaha CX5M, linked up to an Akai S900 Sampler) just like Tangerine Dream in Le Parc. (Thu, 16 Jul 2009 01:09:08 GMT)

Raymond Tunes to rock out to :- Thalamusik (Zzap64 Megatape version). Chris Abbot, your 2k remix. Also very good ;-) Or the Hawkeye music, muchos gracias Jeroen Tel. Or the Armalyte music, thanks to Martin Walker. Creators of sonic soundscapes, squeezing the SI (Thu, 16 Jul 2009 01:20:37 GMT)

Raymond White hole spewing time, engines dead, air supply low, advice please. Everybodies dead Dave. (Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:11:14 GMT)

Raymond Isn't odd how Charlie has been allowed to take the joke too far practically every day since he entered without anyone lifting a fucking finger but Rodrigo fights back just once and Big Brother shits on him within seconds. Double Standards much BB? (Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:01:37 GMT)

Raymond I can do this really great magic trick where I turn money into beer then beer into urine. I can do it every time too, its spectacular ;-) I've got this other one where I turn vodka into a headache but I don't perform it very often. (Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:45:22 GMT)

Raymond Solved the mystery of the faulty negative scanner, stupid thing thinks its broken when in fact the negative thingy was upside down. Piss poor bit of programming if it can't recognise that methinks? Prepare for scanning & photo upload mayhem. Quite slowly (Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:53:03 GMT)

Raymond Agfa, a company run by Germans who claim to be super efficient. Shame the buggers can't write a simple piece of software that'd detect a negative insert was upside down on a scanner bed. Time to do some reverse engineering I think. (Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:50:01 GMT)

Raymond This is Big Brother. Housemates, if anyone hears Rodrigo complaining about anything they must immediately kick him in the bollocks. I say again, today is Kick Rodrigo In The Bollocks Day. Any Housemate not kicking Rodrigo in the bollocks for complaining (Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:18:50 GMT)

Raymond Is counting the days until his RADEON 9250 graphics card arrives. So long Intel GMA onboard chip that lagged my machine to hell. (Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:49:20 GMT)

Raymond is having fun with silly sore throat. Need alcohol to kill it. (Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:44:45 GMT)

Raymond The FBI have recently announced the creation of the Witless Protection Scheme. If your too stupid to survive they'll come and take care of you. (Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Its scary to be woken up by a voice behind you in your ear asking "What you doing?" especially when your the only living thing in the room and theres nothing behind you except a wall. (Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:17:18 GMT)

Raymond Hurry up and arrive graphics card! (Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:17:48 GMT)

Raymond Can't believe its been 7 days since Kongregate upped a new game with badges. (Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:36:42 GMT)

Raymond has written a definate end for his Hitch Hikers fan fiction. Now to do the tricky bit, getting the end and the start to meet. (Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:09:29 GMT)

Raymond New graphics card fitted. Stunned how ATI don't automatically install contrast & gamma controls. Apparently their classed as "Advanced" settings. I thought they'd be part of your defaults? Now I just need to play Pirate Defence to check its power. Then (Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:05:34 GMT)

Raymond Has been playing several levels of Portal, now I know what the game looks like at a decent speed when its not crashing! Meaning the good news is the Radeon 9250 does the job it was brought for. Out fucking standing! (Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:57:30 GMT)

Raymond Is now stuck on level 15 of Portal. (Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:56:16 GMT)

Raymond is wondering if we will finally find out Miss Weaver is a T1000 in the last episode (Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:50:28 GMT)

Raymond Christopher Robin Got up in the morning, The sneezles had vanished away. And the look in his eye Seemed to say to the sky, "Now, how to amuse them to-day?" (its the best bit of the whole poem) ;-) (Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:55:57 GMT)

Raymond And the winner of this years WFOF (Weirdest Friend On Facebook) is.................. (Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:05:36 GMT)

Raymond British Immigration officials are running a new trial with potential applicants coming from America. Those wishing to apply for British Citizenship are shown a photograph of Ryan Seacrest, anyone able to identify him is immediately deported back to America. (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:14:52 GMT)

Raymond Death In The 80's the new EP coming soon from My Linkin Green Matchbox, the newest Emo Super Group. (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:00:13 GMT)

Raymond Never ever bloody anything ever. Words to live your life by (according to Mr Jolly Lives Next Door by The Comic Strip Presents) (Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:08:07 GMT)

Raymond If you play Farmville make sure you become neighbours with everyone you now who also plays it & visit their farm to offer help & send gifts every day for more & quicker money ;-) (Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:30:42 GMT)

Raymond That Olympic Torch Message you all keep forwarding? Its a fake. Just copy a couple of lines from it and paste them into Google. Like I did in fact. (Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:09:04 GMT)

Raymond For those putting their birthdays on that "Calender" application read this "will let it access your Profile information, photos, your friends' info and other content that it requires to work.". I'd recommend you remove your info and stop using it. Basically your allowing it to steal anything it wants. (Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:36:01 GMT)

Raymond "Please do not give the staff sharp objects as they may use them on you". One of the many signs we were forced to take down off the OMDC door. We thought it was funny, the Air Commodore didn't. Humourless twat. My personal favourite sign we were made to take down? "The answers NO! Now whats the question?" (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:52:39 GMT)

Raymond "We're gonna need a bigger boat" was actually an ad-lib they kept in. True fact. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:52:20 GMT)

Raymond For some reason Farmville won't load. Annoying because I have some strawberries to harvest. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Sorted. And the solution was? Close browser, go elsewhere then come back again. Loaded 1st go then. Jobs a good 'un. (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:41:38 GMT)

Raymond Sold everything. Trees, animals, tractor. Still couldn't afford to plant a whole 16x16 field of pumpkins. Roll on the European Subsidy Grant in Farmville, billions of coins for doing stuff all because some EU suit says so ;-) (Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:52:21 GMT)

Raymond David Guetta must think the British are right prudes, everywhere else in the world his title is ok yet here we have to have a version called Sexy Chick? (Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:07:50 GMT)

Raymond Hmmm. Virginmedia's news server is down I assume? Mr Horton? (Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:17:54 GMT)

Raymond You really can never go back & heres why:- RAF Swinderby=Demolished. RAF Hereford= Army Property. Command Supply Registry=Renamed. Cmd R&D Registry=B Block Demolished. CRE (Airfields)=Moved to RAF Benson. Air Staff Registry=B Block Demolished. HQSTC=Now HQAir. The only place left I used to work in is a smegging hole in the ground. Everywhere else has either been flattened, flogged or renamed. (Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:58:05 GMT)

Raymond Discovered the arrows do work & planted something different (and expensive) today. Went for Chilli Peppers. And if I've sent you several reminders to be my Farmville neighbour & you ARE playing it please accept? (Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:56:00 GMT)

Raymond Can any of my friends playing Super Slot Machines please send me some free credits? (Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:41:13 GMT)

Raymond Guess who discovered the 2nd & 3rd pages of ribbons & earnt several without really trying ;-) (Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:06:48 GMT)

Raymond Like Red Dwarf or Scrapheap? Missing Robert "Kryten" Llewellyn on your telly? Then fear not, he's doing a new show online called Carpool which can be found on his webpage here:- llewtube.com (just add the W W W bit without the spaces as status wont let you post weblinks) (Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:09:59 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to my friends who signed up to support Honour Our Troops. It means a lot, thank you. Today you're free to choose what clothes you wear, what hours you work & what time you wake up. You have all those freedoms because others fought for them. People who all have to wear the same clothes, work the hours their told to & get sleep where its possible. No matter where, no matter why:- Honour Our Troops. (Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:16:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Friends; when sending gifts please try & send a different 1 every day. Theres a ribbon for it you know? (Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:09:54 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Friends; when sending gifts please try & send a different 1 every day. Theres a ribbon for it you know? Btw, it seems no-one will be getting a reward for my full completion of the Green Thumb Ribbon as it failed to publish when I earnt it. I don't know why. (Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:24:10 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, level 26. (Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:12:57 GMT)

Raymond How the bloody hell did I get Fan Check as an application when I have NEVER used it? Its been removed, if anyone has tagged me on it I'd appreciate you removing that tag. (Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:22:20 GMT)

Raymond REAL WARNING! Even LOOKING at fucking Fan Check will install it as an application on your Facebook page. If you get ANY Fan Check messages or picture notices do NOT open them. It can easily be removed by deleting it off your applications page. I strongly urge EVERYONE using it to do so. (Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:34:43 GMT)

Raymond Well it took something like 25 attempts but I finally got the modem to even acknowledge the fact Facebook DID exist. Bizarre how it'd access almost every other page (although it got funny about Kongregate too) but it finally worked after upgrading Firefox. Don't do it again thought Virginmedia. Broadband is supposed to be ALWAYS on. (Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:26:23 GMT)

Raymond It turned out to be a UK wide issue, routing problems to US based sites from the UK. At least they fixed it pretty quickly. (Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:56:49 GMT)

Raymond Is it just me or is the Farmville server sync totally f**ked? (Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:56:00 GMT)

Raymond Ok so not only is the Farmville server screwed Bejewelled Blitz has lost all my best scores. WTF? Is anyone else having problems with these 2 games? (Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:39:31 GMT)

Raymond Interesting tip to harvest stuff faster on Farmville. Put your farmer in the middle of an unused square & surround him with haybales. Because he can't walk anywhere the system will harvest stuff right away no matter how far it is from him because he can't reach it. (Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:01:56 GMT)

Raymond only has 12 ribbons left to earn on Farmville. Gonna need some more friends to earn at least 2 of them though. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:20:39 GMT)

Raymond is about to review the TNA sunday PPV No Surrender & would appreciate no interuptions for about 90 minutes. Evi & Andrew in ICT, C O M P U T I N G. lol ;-) (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:30:54 GMT)

Raymond Having a break from the PPV review to eat my tea (done) & watch The Gadget Show (in progress), I gotta have my weekly fix of Suzy Perry. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:35:56 GMT)

Raymond Meanwhile, back to the reviewing. I am HATING this main event, it be shyte. (Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:27:25 GMT)

Raymond Farmville buildings, apparently utterly USELESS because you can't build them on your farm. Why the hell not? In other news:- Jim Cornette fired, Angelina Love "Future Endeavored". Thats the kiss of death, she's off to WWE then. Odds on her going to either OVW or ECW if shes really lucky then getting JTTS status. How sad. (Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:04:16 GMT)

Raymond Would be overjoyed with bliss if WWE finally decided to either pay him money or give him onscreen credit for creating the name "Air Bourne". Also TNA I'd like the same for creating the name "Lethal Consequences". Yes, I KNOW I told you to steal them but at least give me credit for them? Is it much to ask? (Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:28:57 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, DEFINATELY completely screwed up. I click the button to visit a neighbours farm so it loads up one of the slot machine games? Now THATS what I call broken! (Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:25:44 GMT)

Raymond The terrible thing about being up to date is I now have to wait a week for more Heroes & House. Well 5 days. And I can't even talk about either show without spoiling it for everyone else. (Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:22:01 GMT)

Raymond So Facebook chat must be completely fucked, it keeps crashing my browser with runtime errors. (Sat, 26 Sep 2009 05:01:11 GMT)

Raymond Wonders why mouse wheel zoom suddenly stopped on Farmville yet when I left Facebook & came back 10 mins later it was suddenly working fine again? (Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:20:01 GMT)

Raymond Thinks these elephants better produce something cool worth a lot of money or I'm selling all 7 of them. Yes Facebook friends, 7 of you sent me a fricking elephant. (Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:14:03 GMT)

Raymond Has the Shutterbug Achievement been totally removed from everyones Farmville? (Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:27:43 GMT)

Raymond Experienced some sort of power brown out @ 3:34am, wasn't strong enough to take the lights out but it did reset the computer. No clue what caused it though, if your clocks are screwed in Coventry thats why though. (Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:41:07 GMT)

Raymond If my farmville friends are going to send me a hedge make sure its not a cow, pig, duck or horse. I already have them. (Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:28:06 GMT)

Raymond Has the following Farmville Topiaries - Horse, Cow, Pig, Duck, Bunny, Elephant. So send me something different? (Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:45:05 GMT)

Raymond FFS Farmville creators, can't you make it quicker to buy multiple animals? And isn't it about time we were able to buy effing fuel with our earned coins too. Get rid of this FV money, its rubbish & takes forever to earn. Either everything can be paid for using coins or just bin the game. (Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:07:45 GMT)

Raymond Thinks they just don't make technology to last any more do they? I reckon my burner is on its last legs after only 4 yrs, hoping a Firmware flash will give me a bit more time (Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:40:57 GMT)

Raymond Would like to say hello to all his newly inherited random Slots & Farmville friends ;-) Let me know which you are? (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:16:08 GMT)

Raymond Hi new friends! Please remember to PM or comment back on which game (farmville or superslots) I have added you for so we can both be earning extra XP or credits. thank you! (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:30:12 GMT)

Raymond Hi new friends! Please remember to PM or comment back on which game (Farmville or Superslots) I have added you for so we can both be earning extra XP or credits. Also keep an eye on your requests, thank you! If you already added me as a Farmville neighbour or pm'd back you can ignore this ;-) (Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:51:09 GMT)

Raymond Would like to remind those people he's sent a Farmville neighbour request to please accept it. One of you is going to win me that red ribbon ;-) (Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:40:51 GMT)

Raymond To those I've sent a Farmville request to please remember to accept it, for the rest you will have to add me from your end thru Farmville as I have run out of requests, sorry. 4 more neighbours & I get the blue good neighbour ribbon, I'm not far off the red ribbon for tree harvesting either. Thanks to those who already accepted, helping me ever closer towards more awards ;-) (Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:35:09 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Ribbons left to earn, Good Samaritan Blue = 1,270 left. Cream Of The Crop Blue = 22,645 left. Knock On Wood Red & Blue = 1 left for Red. Zoologist Blue = 1,643 left. Crop Whisperer Yellow, White, Red & Blue, 100 left for Yellow. Don't Zynga think we should be able to BUY manure so we can start earning these? And please bring back the Shutterbug award, I was SO close to finishing it! (Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:10:46 GMT)

Raymond "Its all gone quiet" said Roobarb. "Too quiet" said Custard. (Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:49:03 GMT)

Raymond is rocking out to "Far Away From Love" by Sing-Sing, Emma Anderson & Lisa O'Neill seriously kick out the jams on that one. (Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:48:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville. I just say SOD IT, I can't be arsed any more. Fix the lag or I won't be playing again. (Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:39:27 GMT)

Raymond Seems I was right that WWE would never get the 2 new ROH guys on tv ever. Nigel McGuinness has already not only signed to TNA but filmed his 1st Impact appearance & Bryan Danielson is also rumoured to be coming to TNA as well now. I guess Dixie Carter can afford to pay them now that Booker T has gone & good riddance too! (Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:47:29 GMT)

Raymond Isn't interested in clicking the Live Feed button. Farmville friends, please gift trees ONLY as I have earned all the animal ribbons. Thank you. (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:10:03 GMT)

Raymond has fertilised some farms, earned a ribbon doing it. Cool. (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:35:32 GMT)

Raymond has fertilised some farms, earned a ribbon doing it. Cool. Farmville friends, please gift trees ONLY as I have earned all the animal ribbons. Thank you. (I'll only end up selling them otherwise). (Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:30:05 GMT)

Raymond You have to spend the rest of your life in a locked room with a famous animated puppet, who do you choose for company? Otis The Aardvark, Edd The Duck, Gordon The Gopher, Gilbert The Alien, Nobby The Sheep, Zig or Zag (you can't have both, sorry!), Roland Rat, Kevin The Gerbil, Errol The Hamster, Fozzy Bear, Basil Brush or a choice of your own. (Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:30:30 GMT)

Raymond I guess no-one got the offer for the next flower mastery ribbon then? Farmville robbed you! (Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:52:25 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 more neighbour on farm town so he can hire ppl. (Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:56:00 GMT)

Raymond thinks Farm Town is totally screwed because he accepted a neighbour request but it didn't got through. I wonder why that is? If you are on Farm Town then add me as a neighbour please? (Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:28:15 GMT)

Raymond has discovered that no matter where he goes or what he does he can't get away from bloody High Wycombe! James May you bastard! (Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:42:10 GMT)

Raymond Why is it when bands are introduced its always stuff like "Back by popular demand"? Wheres the one venue that is honest? On time don't you just want to hear "Presenting live on stage because we couldn't afford anyone we like - Marvin & The Bastards!" (Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:16:06 GMT)

Raymond Marks & Spencer is running a Penny Bazaar this Friday (13th Nov) to mark the store's 125th birthday 15 items will be on sale for just 1p each. Buy up to five 1p items & the offer runs in all of Marks' main UK stores. Items include tea towels, mugs, notebooks, socks & chocolates amongst others. It's expected to be VERY busy so get there early! (Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:41:34 GMT)

Raymond It be ever so slightly precipitating from the clouds out there like (Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:12:13 GMT)

Raymond Dr Who:- Well that was a complete let down,talk about boring! We waited since Easter & they gave us that shit? Roll On Matt Smith. (Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:27:09 GMT)

Raymond Hello new friends & current friends. FYI, I don't play Mafia Wars. I only play Treasure Madness, Farmville, Farmtown, Super Slots & Word Party on Goobox & occasionally Bejewelled ;-) Ok? (Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:10:02 GMT)

Raymond Hello new friends & current friends. FYI, I don't play Mafia Wars. I only play Treasure Madness, Farmville, Farmtown, Super Slots & Word Party on Goobox (which I think a lot more people really should try!) & occasionally Bejewelled ;-) Ok? (Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:09:37 GMT)

Raymond has just harvested his farm for the last time. It now won't get touched until Farmville unlock the largest farm AND allow us to buy fuel with our coins. Otherwsie trying to do the harvest & flower harvest ribbons will take forever. As of today please don't send anymore gifts, I don't need them. (Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:24:12 GMT)

Raymond No more Farmville gifts from now please? I'll only sell them (Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:53:35 GMT)

Raymond ok has EVERY game on Facebook suddenly lost friends lists? Because Superslots just robbed me blind stating I have no Superslots friends when I know for a fact i have way over 60. (Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:45:45 GMT)

Raymond Just in case you are blind & missed it the last 2 times please NO MORE Farmville gifts. Give them to someone who can use them. I'll take treasure for Treasure Madness or credits for Super Slots (or keys for level 3 please?). (Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:04:51 GMT)

Raymond Thinks Dave H, Samm H, Pam C, SimonH & Heather E should look at Treasure Madness. See how far you suddenly progressed ;-) Your Welcome! (Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:30:36 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville friends, I've now got 60 presents so you can send yours to someone else. Or give me something different. Maybe a reindeer? (Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:48:15 GMT)

Raymond In the words of Jim Cornette “Why in the flying fuck does Vince Russo have a job?”. Please Tweet Dixie Carter with this question every second of every minute for the next year until she answers it live on Impact. (Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:57:43 GMT)

Raymond has completed ALL 12 achievements on Treasure Madness. I guess thats my game over then? (Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:05:35 GMT)

Raymond Farmville is broken AGAIN? Its reporting I have no neighbours at all yet they are all still on my friends list. (Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:48:42 GMT)

Raymond Has now taken all his reviews from the SyFy forum & put them all onto his blog. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:07:47 GMT)

Raymond Roll on Tori Amos, must remember to find time difference between New York & Uk so I can tune in one time. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:35:48 GMT)

Raymond Right, Tori Amos starts at 3pm in New York with the 4hr time difference means 7pm here. Top banana. (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:04:44 GMT)

Raymond I love the internet, I'm watching Tori Amos live in New York! For free! (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:30:14 GMT)

Raymond Yay! Just saw Tori Amos live in concert & didn't even have to leave my room! (Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:59:00 GMT)

Raymond Take "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters & combine it with "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne & you've got "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its insanely good. Its no "Far Away From Love" though! Thats super Jazz fusion that even Howard Moon couldnt hate. (Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:57:30 GMT)

Raymond Take "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters & combine it with "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne & you've got "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its insanely good. Its no "Far Away From Love" though! Thats super Jazz fusion that even Howard Moon couldnt hate (Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:43:24 GMT)

Raymond is watching Tin Man. Mainly for Zooey D. I like her. (Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:21:39 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, did you know you can send 30 gifts TWICE in a day? So we can actually send gifts to 60 people each day? (Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:33:00 GMT)

Raymond Ok, I just found the original negatives to those Ernesford pix & am going to rescan them, Rob, Dave, Ade, Steve & Tony, I also found the rest of the Swamp Demo negs, also gonna scan them. (Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:26:12 GMT)

Raymond Concerned about your weight? Watching your waistline? Too stressed to think? Then try Diet Headache, the new low calorie option to regular heaches! Also comes in Caffeine free & Sugar free options. Diet Headache! For that on the go liftstyle. (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:09:35 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the makers of Treasure Madness are confused why we are angry about the new maps. M$ to buy 1 of them, 4k gp to move fog, money to hire contracters. THATS why, you fuck wits! I have a team of 80 friends, i dont need fucking contracters to lift stuff! (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:47:06 GMT)

Raymond Treasure Madness makers say "Due to change in Facebook policy, we had to change the way the friends tiles are handled. These tiles can now only be unlocked by hiring contractors. Thank you for your understanding." I call that a piss poor excuse. The policy changed several days ago but we were able to use our team mates up until today. Why is today so fucking special? (Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:42:33 GMT)

Raymond I have Ghost Lab & the final Ghost Hunters Academy to review. If either new Chris or slightly new Jane win then the show is a complete fix. I'm trying to decide if my throat is too sore to manage breakfast, my tummy says its not. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:40:53 GMT)

Raymond Ghost Lab reviewed. Dear Barry Klinge, of course a door is going to move if a motion detector falls off it. Use logic or is that baseball cap on so tight it squeezed all the life out of your brain? (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 09:01:18 GMT)

Raymond Its trying to snow here too, I think its too wet to settle though. Explains why it went so dark so fast. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:36:04 GMT)

Raymond And as quickly as it started, it stopped. (Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:44:16 GMT)

Raymond Put this as your status if you know someone who has or had cancer! All I want for Christmas is a CURE! ... (93% WON'T Copy and Paste this, will YOU?)." (Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:06:07 GMT)

Raymond thinks the whole "jaw clicking" thing is annoying as hell. And pretty painful too. And a complete mystery as to why. (Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:13:41 GMT)

Raymond Query, did any of my friends see the 2 levels of watermelon mastery awards? For some reason when I earnt them Farmville said I had no neighbours so you might miss out on 2 possible awards. Let me know? (Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:32:32 GMT)

Raymond "He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when your awake" - Santa, kindly old man who brings you presents or creepy CIA funded stalker who watches your every move? (Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:35:13 GMT)

Raymond Farmville Ribbons left to get:- Flower power blue ribbon needed King of compost blue ribbon needed Lord of the plow white, red & blue ribbons needed Vegetable virtuoso white, red & blue ribbons needed (Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:05:07 GMT)

Raymond Hopes Farmville unlock the big farm & allow us to buy fuel or gift it. If their gonna award plowing badges it'd be nice to be able to buy fuel with coins. NOT FV money. (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:52 GMT)

Raymond Has anyone else tried to claim one of their own presents? Try it and see what it says! Laughed my ass off. (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:34:57 GMT)

Raymond Right folks, I'm having a present break. Enjoy the ones that are out there (Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:55:37 GMT)

Raymond Just noticed the time. ITS DR WHO DAY! Merry Dr Who Day! (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:03:40 GMT)

Raymond Opened all my Farmville gifts. Sold a large percentage of them. I guess we have to keep the tree up for today or the whole 12 fricking day run? (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:48:50 GMT)

Raymond Let me see if I understand this. During the whole time Lucy Saxon was in prison she never washed her lips once? I think I just screwed your plot without even trying. Shark, jumped. (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:24:19 GMT)

Raymond Right, this weeks Ghost Lab reviewed. Finally after 12 weeks they recorded an EVP no-one could hear. Now I'm debating if I want to review ECW, Superstars & Smackdown. (Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:55:48 GMT)

Raymond It took 26 mins to check 16 hrs of status posts or FV stuff. I am currently combatting sore throat with JD & coke. You have to try, eh? (Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:16:33 GMT)

Raymond After 30 years of waiting I'm FINALLY going to get to see part 2 of The 6 Million Dollar Man episode The Secret Of Bigfoot. I feel the way I felt when I watched part 1 aged 9 ;-) (Mon, 28 Dec 2009 04:28:32 GMT)

Raymond decided to finally check out Mafia Wars, if your playing it then add me or send me a reqest. (Tue, 29 Dec 2009 16:45:17 GMT)

Raymond can all my Treasure Madness friends/team mates please send me food as gifts, I want to try & finish the last 2 Xmas maps before they expire. As many food gifts as often as possible please. NOT health packs as you can only 1 every 24hrs. (Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:53:51 GMT)

Raymond I'm old, I know. Get the digs in quick. Merry Thursday. Right, I guess I best review the final Ghost Lab of the season. (Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:08:13 GMT)

Raymond Watched final ECW original Tommy Dreamers final match & farewell. See you in TNA soon hopefully Tommy, less touring, more chance of titles & decent matches. (Thu, 31 Dec 2009 03:25:16 GMT)

Raymond Happy New Year to all ;-) Lets see what it brings. (Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:06:12 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, grow a brain. If your going to "enhance" the game then take the fucking thing offline so you don't ruin peoples planting, plowing or harvesting. Its very simple. Don't be such arseholes. (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:14:26 GMT)

Raymond WTF? Was harvesting & got the "FV has been enhanced please refresh" message so I reloaded & whilst FV was STILL LOADING the fecking message APPEARED AGAIN? (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:39:57 GMT)

Raymond got bored & removed Treasure Madness, Mafia Wars, Super Slots, Biotronic & Farmtown. Farmville, I've got you in my sights for next on the chopping block so start behaving yourself. (Sat, 02 Jan 2010 17:16:29 GMT)

Raymond Any sign of free fuel yet Farmville friends? They definately said Jan 4th, yes? And thats today. (Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:50:10 GMT)

Raymond Sweary, sweary, sweary, swear, sweary, swear. Dropped a dvd spindle on my toe. Thats going to leave a mark. (Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:12:29 GMT)

Raymond Watched RAW, predicted Vince's swerve about 4 minutes before he did it. Yet to see Impact but have heard a lot about it. (Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:39:29 GMT)

Raymond TNA IMPACT, its the Hulk Hogan cronies show! (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:27:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville friends (not that most of you ever read these updates), please send either fuel or chickens as gifts. Thank you. (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:46:57 GMT)

Raymond Not really worth staying here today if my farm wont load. (Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:21:03 GMT)

Raymond YAY! (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:39:01 GMT)

Raymond Toffee cake time (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:25:46 GMT)

Raymond Farmville not loading AGAIN? (Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:07:19 GMT)

Raymond ANY FB group that asks you to "Select All Your Friends" is a con. So stop spamming them. (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:32:56 GMT)

Raymond Half "Learn To Fly" by The Foo Fighters, Half "Your In A Bad Way" by Saint Etienne - All brilliant, "Panda Eyes" by Sing-Sing. Its still not as good as "Far Away From Love" (excellent brass section & middle 8) or "You Don't Know" by the same band. (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:55:00 GMT)

Raymond Boogie to the cool bit in the middle! (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:55:31 GMT)

Raymond Why is it a song seems billions of times better if its got a rocking middle 8. Like this one, with the seriously excellent fed back Les Paul guitar over a weird synthy track ;-) (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:00:13 GMT)

Raymond I altered text sizes and suddenly my farm wont fit into the window when it loads? it cuts off the left & right sides of the screen so i can't see gift boxes or the icons on the left. WTF? (Tue, 12 Jan 2010 22:09:59 GMT)

Raymond ITS TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT MORE OF US SUPPORT OUR TROOPS THAN DON'T!!! IF YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS THEN PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR STATUS AND LEAVE IT THERE FOR ONE HOUR!! AND IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!! (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:21:23 GMT)

Raymond Fixed my FV screen problem. Inversely that now means I know how to break FV on purpose ;-) (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:01:11 GMT)

Raymond Just saw the 2 latest ribbon sets on Farmville. Thats me done playing it. They can f**k right off. (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:58:14 GMT)

Raymond Farmville removed from applications. No longer playing it. Its just taking the mickey now. (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:59:10 GMT)

Raymond Uni! Mehhhhh! (thinks the only person whose going to get that reference will be EJ) (Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:02:28 GMT)

Raymond Farmville not loading AGAIN? (Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:09:23 GMT)

Raymond just wrote his last ever TNA review. No more from me, Hogan & Bischoff can destroy the show. I won't be reviewing it again. (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 02:39:01 GMT)

Raymond is listening to Little Fluffy Clouds by The Orb - "You might still see them in the desert" ;-) (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:26:31 GMT)

Raymond Facebook, seriously STOP sending me invites to join "New Facebook Chat-Install now", I've clicked IGNORE more than 20 times now. Its starting to take the piss. (Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:39:27 GMT)

Raymond Remember to be polite & Gronda in deference to his Royal Highness The Rangdo Of Arg. You know how to Gronda, right? You bow & say "Gronda, Gronda". I know he's a fricking Aspidistra (also a teapot sometimes) but its PROTOCOL! (Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:33:49 GMT)

Raymond needs to remind all his Farmville friends if you buy the 24x24 farm you need to remember to move the location of your fenced in farmer. When I harvest I'm going to have to delete my whole field to get the maximum from the space. (Fri, 22 Jan 2010 19:14:51 GMT)

Raymond good news, when expanding your farm to 24x24 you only have to reorder 2 sides of the farm & you are left with 2 nice borders to plant trees or put small animals. no need to delete the whole field ;-) (Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:01:05 GMT)

Raymond FARMVILLE! Listen up because its only coming once! If you dont STOP saving my farm every 5 seconds I will EFFING END YOU! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 19:26:08 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Avast! antivirus software a not only a liar but a fake finding a virus in a folder that according to Windows didnt even exist. Trying to make it look you were earning your keep, eh Avast! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:25:53 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Avast! antivirus software as not only a liar but a fake finding a virus in a folder that according to Windows didnt even exist. Trying to make it look you were earning your keep, eh Avast! (Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:26:33 GMT)

Raymond No more Green Plumes as gifts please, already got the max. (Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:07:26 GMT)

Raymond Please DO NOT send me stable supplies or trees as gifts. I dont have space to build a stable for at least another 2 days. Collectables or mystery gifts are fine, thx. (Thu, 04 Feb 2010 00:16:59 GMT)

Raymond WTF? where have all my news updates about games gone? nothing from FV or mafia wars or treasure madness? whats the score? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:35:00 GMT)

Raymond Weird, 1 minute no game feeds then they suddenly all come back? What was going on there? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:43:32 GMT)

Raymond Ok, there is DEFINATELY a problem with live feed. It cant make its mind up whether to show posts from applications or not & its REALLY annoying. FB what the hell are you doing to us? (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:13:23 GMT)

Raymond thinks Facebook bowed to complaints & put the live feed back the way it was. The moral of this story, if it aint broke dont try to fix it. (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:47:03 GMT)

Raymond Just finished writing a review for the album Cosmic Thing. Will see about reviewing Seeing Stars tomorrow maybe. (Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:11:46 GMT)

Raymond No more Dragonflies as gifts please FV friends? I've got the max & they are only worth 5 coins if you sell them. No stable supplies either, their worth the same. (Sun, 07 Feb 2010 19:22:10 GMT)

Raymond is about to listen to the best saxaphone break ever written. Double - Captain Of Her Heart (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Those guitars in the middle 8 of Captain Of Her Heart by Double sound just like the middle of of Oblivious by Aztec Camera. Hmmm. (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:28:52 GMT)

Raymond 8 more of you can ask for Valentines gifts today. I think its really crappy that I can send ordinary gifts to 30 ppl but only 10 Valentines gifts a day? (Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:39:49 GMT)

Raymond Does FB keep telling you there are no new updates? Wanna prove it a liar? Scroll to the bottom, click edit options & set Maximum number of friends shown in Live Feed to something like 2000 & click Save. Now watch all your friends & applications suddenly come back. Now thank me by sending me a Valentines gift in Farmville or Mafia Wars. Or food on Treasure Madness. Or just say thank you. (Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:16:03 GMT)

Raymond You like FlashForward? You remember that brilliant music Channel 5 used to advertise it? Its by Royksopp & its called Royksopp Forever on the album Junior. Ok? (Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:45:10 GMT)

Raymond is scanning some of his old pictures to go in his Random Coventry Pictures folder (Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:10:53 GMT)

Raymond No "en fuego" reward then? (Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:15:19 GMT)

Raymond Look, just play Music Challenge! Its really good & you'll be addicted after about 3 games. (Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:15:59 GMT)

Raymond "Hey, yo, Doug, do that record jam on a groove" (Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:51:12 GMT)

Raymond Not long finished reviewing Speak & Spell by Depeche Mode. 2nd review in as many days ;-) (Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:31:55 GMT)

Raymond "Whats this Neil? Its Risotto Vyv. Its Snow Neil! No, its Risotto! Its Snow Neil, I should know. Its all I've had to eat for the last 3 days. Snow, snow, bloody snow! Don't you want yours? Well, I didn't say that did I?" (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:31:59 GMT)

Raymond After Chicken Biriyani & Chips with cold lager all I can say is "What sore throat?" (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:56:10 GMT)

Raymond Reviewed Depeche Mode's - A Broken Frame. Not very good at all. Construction Time Again is next on the "to do" list. (Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:35:04 GMT)

Raymond Has anyone else discovered the "free unwither" on Farmville yet? I've just brought 2 different fields back to life with it ;-) (Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:49:30 GMT)

Raymond just finished reviewing Construction Time Again. Its hard to review a bad album without using bad language. I managed somehow. Some Great Reward is next to do, hopefully thats got better tracks on it. (Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:50:54 GMT)

Raymond Need 2 more people to finish my chicken coop please? How do you post those direct links on your profile, anyone? (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:06:23 GMT)

Raymond Chicken coop expanded to max, muchos thankees to those who pitched in. Now I just have to motivate myself to get started on reviewing Some Great Reward. (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:24:29 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends can I ask for just chickens as gifts? Mafia friends, anything to help build the chop shop. Thanking you ;-) (Not that anyone ever reads my status requests mind you) (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:59:05 GMT)

Raymond is pleased to discover he didn't imagine the song "Kill Your Television". Its by Neds Atomic Dustbin. Ok? (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:39:34 GMT)

Raymond Watched both versions of The House On Haunted Hill last night, the original is a much better movie. (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:26:39 GMT)

Raymond Just sold my Valentines box, moved some stuff around & reclaimed 2 whole squares for actual crops! ;-) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:34:35 GMT)

Raymond Is watching Rocketship XM for free. Thanks to the Internet Archive! ;-) I also got House On Haunted Hill (already watched it), Things To Come & Battleship Potempkin. (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:38:53 GMT)

Raymond sorry but you all just missed out on a feathers collection because FV is being an arsehole. again (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:10:53 GMT)

Raymond Cleveland Jr on The Cleveland Show "I moo when I get frightened". "Moo, moo!" (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:12:56 GMT)

Raymond This beat is, this beat is, this beats completely chronic, got samples upon it, no effort yet I profit. (Guessing probably only Iggy will get that one) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:14:47 GMT)

Raymond Things I Like:- Unexpected Amazon Vouchers. ;-) (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:40:26 GMT)

Raymond Rocketship XM. So they were aiming for the moon & missed, landing on Mars. Where 2 of the 5 crew were killed & 1 was injured. Yet they made it back to Earth only to be killed in the crash landing. And the head of the space agency says the mission was a SUCCESS? (Mon, 22 Feb 2010 23:17:13 GMT)

Raymond So on Synchronicity Sting is actually singing "Science insusceptible" & NOT Scientific Vegetables like I thought he was. My versions much funnier, I'm sticking with it. (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:21:46 GMT)

Raymond Is Facebook just as slow loading anything at all today or is it just me? (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:25:33 GMT)

Raymond From a new BBC text only Adventure Game:- GO EAST. You go east, you are in some sort of garden - It appears to be midnight but you can see clearly. LOOK. You see Igglepiggle, he's extremely annoying. PUNCH IGGLEPIGGLE. You punch Igglepiggle, it turns out he has a glass jaw & you just knocked him out cold - score 23 million points for punching Igglepiggle. Would you like to kick him whilst he's down? (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:37:25 GMT)

Raymond Apart from the Mystery Box glitch ALL FV unlimited stuff has now been stopped. (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:25:58 GMT)

Raymond Is currently working his way through 130+ mystery boxes having placed them I'm now opening them. Some have fuel, theres also a new tree! (Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:37:25 GMT)

Raymond Farmville has been enhanced, Now sit there while I rob you of the bonus you just earnt. (Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:58:55 GMT)

Raymond "They send the heart police to put you under cardiac arrest, and as they grab you in the dark they tell you that you've failed the test" (Wed, 24 Feb 2010 21:55:22 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, I only need 2 cement blocks, 2 power tools. 2 acetylene torches, 2 shipping containers for my chop shop - please help? (Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:42:12 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 CEMENT BLOCK, 1 ACETYLENE TORCH & 2 SHIPPING CONTAINERS for Mafia Wars. JUST those items, none of the other Chop Shop things please? (Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:24:28 GMT)

Raymond needs 1 ACETYLENE TORCH only please Mafia Wars friends? (Sat, 27 Feb 2010 16:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Finished reviewing Some Great Reward yesterday, taking a break from DM today & reviewing Blurs Parklife. (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 14:17:51 GMT)

Raymond Is pleased it only took just over a couple of hours to finish reviewing Parklife. Another Depeche Mode album next or something different I'm wondering? (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:47:22 GMT)

Raymond Missed Glee, was hungry, so made tea, cut celery, ate tea, Gonna watch glee. On the replay, of course ;-) (Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:25:33 GMT)

Raymond Sorry Farmville friends but FV just robbed you all of the chance to share in my getting the blue ribbon for the cats. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:03:23 GMT)

Raymond Just scored my weekly million plus points on Music Challenge. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:58:24 GMT)

Raymond If you are new Mafia Wars friends please do NOT send any Respect Requests for at least the next 2 days. They aren't getting accepted so your only wasting your sends. (Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:06:17 GMT)

Raymond Dont send me your wants on Farmville. You'll get what your given & be thankful I gave you it. (Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:02:15 GMT)

Raymond Just worked out why I couldnt accept Respect requests. I already had 10 gifts waiting & its the max you can have at once. It didnt help they were all just off the screen where I couldnt see them. Piss poor design IMHO. You CAN now send Requests again now I know what I'm doing. (Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:52:00 GMT)

Raymond So whats this "Locked box" scam on Farmville then? Are they THAT needy for people to sign up their pulling crap like this now? (Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:35:40 GMT)

Raymond I have 460 fuel, went to get some free fuel from a friend & got THIS:- Howdy Farmer! You need to use some of your fuel to be eligible to find more. So get busy farming and come back later! (Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:51:50 GMT)

Raymond In order to prevent Zynga screwing me out of Mafia Wars level ones 3 star mastery in New York for the 3rd time I have taken the precaution of taking a screenshot of FULL mastery of all level 1 jobs. DO NOT screw with me again Zynga or you WILL regret it! (Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:02:46 GMT)

Raymond No more gold on FV please, sold my thingy. Got bored of it. You can still request gold off me though. (Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:07:06 GMT)

Raymond is full of Chinese Chicken & Spicy Sezchuan ;-) De Smegging Lish. (Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:57:49 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends. NO GOLD PLEASE! I sold my pot for it days ago. It proves to me you dont read my status if you keep sending it. Mafia Wars friends I could use 5 lifts, 1 torch & 4 containers for my Chop Shop if your in a giving mood please? (Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:52:29 GMT)

Raymond Just completely broke FV, I was fertilising & managed to fertilise 1 square to over 13 thousand percent and it showed no sign of slowing down or stopping when I clicked refresh (Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:48:14 GMT)

Raymond Farmville thought for today:- Gold is the most precious mineral on the planet but if you sell it in FV its worth sod all. Shows how out of touch with reality Zynga actually are. (Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:14:12 GMT)

Raymond Gifted FV friends in alphabetical order. A-D today. mystery boxes from me as i am not building anything so i wont send nor do i need building supplies. (Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:51:55 GMT)

Raymond I've done my FV gifting for today, mystery boxes (again) because I'm not building anything so DONT NEED SUPPLIES! Its D through J today. (Sun, 14 Mar 2010 12:09:44 GMT)

Raymond Want to say Blimey! but it just isnt enough? Need to say Crikey! but that won't fill the bill either? Then why not try out Blikey! 2 words for the price of one. BLIKEY. Half Blimey half Crikey. BLIKEY! (Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:01:49 GMT)

Raymond done gifting for today FV neighbours J through K got mystery boxes (same as everyone else), Please remember NO gifts of gold of building supplies in return as I am taking part in neither. (Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:03:29 GMT)

Raymond has caught out Zynga as the thieves I aready knew they were but now I have PROOF! Took a screenshot on level 101 of all 1-4 3 star mastery. Just checked it on level 111 & they've stolen the mastery level. (Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:30:54 GMT)

Raymond Farmville gifting done, K through L it was your turn today. Mystery Boxes on their way. (Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:28:26 GMT)

Raymond Great, I was gonna go watch some tv from 4OD but its knackered? (Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:05:41 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars is totally f**ked then? It wont load at all, just a white screen. (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:38:19 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars: CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE Updated 03/17/2010 10:39 AM We apologize but our game is currently down. We are working hard to quickly fix it and as soon as it is back up we will let you know. Thanks for your patience! (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:42:19 GMT)

Raymond FV gifting done for today, M to S, More S starting from Sierra tomorrow (Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:35:32 GMT)

Raymond OK FV friends, as some of you may know I reached Level 70 & completed the game yesterday. You can stop sending me gifts but you can ASK for anything you want, 1st come 1st served. 1 request per person per day only though. (Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:10:54 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars question - If you win a battle you get $65k. If you lose you lose $100k. So what happens to that odd $35k from every battle? Who gets it? Where does it go? (Sun, 21 Mar 2010 14:53:09 GMT)

Raymond FV friends, if you want an item then send a message stating what gift (include link if possible). 1st 30 every day get what they want. DONT reply this, message me directly (Mon, 22 Mar 2010 21:22:14 GMT)

Raymond FV friends, I have sorted out my neighbour list. The unanswered neighbour requests are now cancelled, also if you are level 70 I removed you. It doesnt mean I love you any less, it just means your lower ranked friends will have a better chance of getting your feed stuff. Some of you are MW friends too so I will still see you ;-) (Thu, 25 Mar 2010 01:07:33 GMT)

Raymond is pleased he FINALLY got the video capture software to work (Thu, 25 Mar 2010 18:39:18 GMT)

Raymond What is with all these cheap gits on the Mafia Wars fight list who you never win any money off? Zynga needs a rule, no money means no fight list access. (Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:24:20 GMT)

Raymond WTF? FB now sending out fake "You have been blocked or disabled" messages? (Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:25:10 GMT)

Raymond No more eggs as gifts please FV friends? I have sold my basket. Mystery gifts or fuel if you can gift it would be preferred thanks. (Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:44:47 GMT)

Raymond Hooray for enough Lightspeed points for £15 worth of Amazon vouchers ;-) (Fri, 02 Apr 2010 01:49:46 GMT)

Raymond I just need 1 power tool for my chop shop upgrade please? (Sat, 03 Apr 2010 05:04:35 GMT)

Raymond After that end of episode trailer screw waiting 7 days, I want more of Matt Smiths Doctor Who NOW! (Sat, 03 Apr 2010 18:27:04 GMT)

Raymond Grr. It was JUST a fricking loose RF aerial cable? I guess that connector needs replacing then. (Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:19:29 GMT)

Raymond Nope, It was the RF aerial cable connected to the telly. Picture now perfect. SOLVED. (Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:23:34 GMT)

Raymond MW friends, has anyone got any of these spare? Striped, Polka Dot, Checkered or Plaid eggs. Please? (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:16:56 GMT)

Raymond "Ford ranted and boggled at the prospect of Zaphod getting things right. Ford didn't mind boggling, it was painless and burned very few calories. He actually believed it made his hair look nicer afterwards too which was a bonus." (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:44:03 GMT)

Raymond My Farmville puppy Binky better poo solid 24 carat gold considering he cost 300k to buy. He's sitting in front of the chicken coop, guarding my chickens. (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:27:48 GMT)

Raymond Lets see if I understand FV. You look at the jobs list, you find 1 you like, you join & THEN you plant the same crop. NOT before. Zynga, you REALLY need to explain this shit. (Fri, 09 Apr 2010 21:05:41 GMT)

Raymond May I say Woo. And Hoo. Roll on next week. "It Begins!" ;-) (Sat, 10 Apr 2010 18:03:37 GMT)

Raymond Ok, its official. Co-op farming IS BULLSHIT. I just harvested a whole field of grapes I'd planted after starting a job & it didnt count a single one of them. Dont send me another invitation to co-op farm EVER again. (Sat, 10 Apr 2010 21:49:34 GMT)

Raymond Its a Saturday in 1994 in High Wycombe & I'm walking down the High Street outside Woolworths. I kinda half recognise this smiling spikey haired blonde guy walking towards me, as he walks past me I say to myself (but also out loud) "Wasn't that Howard Jones?" & this male voice from behind says "Yes it was!". Made me laugh ;-) (Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:00:03 GMT)

Raymond WARNING! If someone rings you claiming to be from Microsoft saying your computer is sending a virus DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY INFORMATION! IT IS A SCAM! I just had to tell the guy to sod off twice as the cheeky twat rang back when I hung up on him. The MS website says they WILL NOT cold call you EVER! (Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:28:40 GMT)

Raymond Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:31:32 GMT)

Raymond Bad news FV friends, you can only accept ONE bonus pack. Any more you get are just going to go to waste. (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 15:39:30 GMT)

Raymond can anyone explain why i can only vault the "Tools of the Trade Collection" once? (Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:36:11 GMT)

Raymond "The Earth will die Screaming", what an amazingly obscure sci-fi movie reference 90% of the people watching Victory Of The Daleks will totally NOT get ;-) And I got it right away. (Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:11:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville dog Binky, I am not going to rescue you. Mainly because I can't afford it. That'll teach you to run away you ungrateful little twat. (Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:29:00 GMT)

Raymond WTF? Combine posts is UNTICKED yet FB is STILL doing "Show similar posts". Fecking POC! (Mon, 19 Apr 2010 20:24:07 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, unless its a mystery box or fuel any gifts you send arent really going to be helpful to me on level 70 ok? But thanks for sending them. (Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:51:36 GMT)

Raymond Binky Collie is now free & back where he belongs, guarding my chicken coop. Thank you to Troy Sutherland for the Fv link that provided 3 free farm cash AND a bonus pack of various stuff including fuel! (Fri, 23 Apr 2010 19:45:24 GMT)

Raymond Is it just me or is pretty much every part of Facebook completely screwed & loading as slow as hell? (Sat, 24 Apr 2010 11:26:07 GMT)

Raymond Officially pissed off with new mouse & its glitches, its being replaced. (Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:31:25 GMT)

Raymond Completed the first 2 jobs in Paris on Mafia Wars. Couldn't start job 3, ran out of maps. (Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:52:20 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- I have made a start on the 3rd & final mission in Paris of Chapter 1 ;-) (Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:15:15 GMT)

Raymond JK Rowling, idea thief:-Goodnight Sweetheart-18 November 1993, Ron Wheatcroft best friend of Gary Sparrow. Harry Potter & the Philosopher's Stone-30 June 1997, Ronald Weasley best friend of Harry Potter. Both have a friend called Ron with intials RW, both get to their destinations by passing through solid objects, Gary through Ducketts Passage & Harry through a wall to Platform 13a. Who says shes not a plagiarist? (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:22:18 GMT)

Raymond Stunning how people complain about seatbelts not being used on Peppa Pig but no-one cares that neither Marge or Maggie Simpson wear one in the credits of The Simpsons? So British cartoon pigs are more important than American cartoon mums & babies? (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:37:46 GMT)

Raymond "Ford castigated himself then wondered about that Betelgeusian folk tale that excessive castigation sent you blind. He blinked a few times just to make sure it WAS wrong. Yes, definately wrong up to this point in his life." (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:12:50 GMT)

Raymond Ellington, a Skellington. He danced in purple Wellingtons. I wish more words rhymed with that ;-) (Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:09:33 GMT)

Raymond Your seriously telling me I am the ONLY person on Farmville who earned a medal & unlocked free fuel & the only one sharing it too? (Sat, 01 May 2010 14:39:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, if you ask me "any more gifts to accept" & I click YES then STOP loading the bloody game, let me accept my other gifts! (Sat, 01 May 2010 16:32:08 GMT)

Raymond Useless crap I can remember #1:- Jimmy Neutrons band is called The Llama Lords Of Science. And Kevin (from The Wonder Years) had a band called Kevin Arnold & The Electric Shoes. (Sat, 01 May 2010 23:14:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear current "new" mouse, when your replacement arrives I am going to smash you with a hammer for being a f**king irritating twat. (Mon, 03 May 2010 19:24:20 GMT)

Raymond Dear "Jossys Giants", you weren't THAT blooody tall. And the Spanish version of the theme tune was crap too. (Tue, 04 May 2010 00:30:41 GMT)

Raymond FINALLY! A mouse designed by someone who knows what the word ergonomic means! No more carpel tunnel syndrome due to an insanely small mouse. Thank you Mr Logitech. No thanks to that arse who sent it 2nd class over a fecking bank holiday though. (Tue, 04 May 2010 12:18:05 GMT)

Raymond So has the Mafia Wars Toolbar vanished from anyone elses firefox? (Wed, 05 May 2010 00:41:57 GMT)

Raymond Seems the Mafia Wars Toolbar decided to fix itself, no idea why it crapped out last night though (Wed, 05 May 2010 15:19:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Lottery scammers. if you are going to try & steal someones details its a REALLY bad idea to send it from your British University email account. I hope you enjoy meeting the police you fucking twat ;-) (Wed, 05 May 2010 16:56:53 GMT)

Raymond Useless crap I can remember #2:- Max Headrooms human counterpart Edison Carter presented the "What I Want To Know" show ;-) On The Young Ones Neils full name is Neil Wheedon-Watkins Pye & Vyv drove a Yellow Ford Anglia. (Wed, 05 May 2010 17:38:38 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, please invent a CONTINUE button that actually DOES go away when clicked? Its not that hard. Or just get rid of the useless POS. (Thu, 06 May 2010 23:35:55 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, need untraceable cell phones? Go to Moscow episode 1 & do the "Arrange A Drug Shipment for the Mafiya" job. You'll get 1 pretty much every time ;-) (Fri, 07 May 2010 12:11:35 GMT)

Raymond If Virginmedia send you an email telling you to change Outlook Express settings DO NOT enable SSL as they advise you to. Because it wont work, leave SSL OFF. That WILL work, having just tested it. (Fri, 07 May 2010 14:06:31 GMT)

Raymond Enjoy the gifts my Mafia Wars crew! If you didn't need Politico Corruptos I'd keep them for when you do (in Cyba or Bangkok). It got me another badge anyway ;-) (Sun, 09 May 2010 15:54:36 GMT)

Raymond "Welcome to Element Of Doubt Burger, how may I help you?". "Whats the element of doubt?". "If I'm going to spit in your food or not. Should I expect a tip?". "Yeah, eat elsewhere". (Tue, 11 May 2010 13:37:34 GMT)

Raymond DC is going with a coalition Parliment then. Hoorah! Bye Bye 1 Party system. (Tue, 11 May 2010 19:45:11 GMT)

Raymond Hey, can anyone hitlist me on MW so I can try & earn the achievement (Tue, 11 May 2010 21:04:22 GMT)

Raymond FV & MW friends. The Zynga toolbar will cover ALL your games & can be clicked to monitor either game (Wed, 12 May 2010 19:55:37 GMT)

Raymond MW friends it appears my suspicions were true & the unique Vault Codes are 1 use only. So don't bother saving them. (Thu, 13 May 2010 13:17:11 GMT)

Raymond You have built a Mugati Sport. You gained 3 Attack. (Thu, 13 May 2010 17:47:55 GMT)

Raymond Boy went to his careers officer & said "I wanna study Stampsr". Careers Officers say "Why not become a Police Officer or join the Forces?". Boy says "No, I wanna study Stamps". So the Careers Officers says no, the boy asks him why & the Careers Officer says "Philately gets you nowhere". (Thu, 13 May 2010 22:39:16 GMT)

Raymond So it turns out it was tune#7 on Ghouls & Ghosts by Tim Follin. Thank you Terry Ventress for getting that tune stuck in my head. Now I'm going to have to trawl my SID collection for something else to knock it out ;-) Denarius? Hawkeye? DELTA! (Sat, 15 May 2010 13:49:50 GMT)

Raymond Wasn't Delta (darn! Sorry Rob Hubbard, I must have been thinking of something else), I guess it must have been Sanxion? I went for Hawkeye, that never disappoints. Thank you Martin Walker. There isnt a single bad tune in that game. Sanxion next then ;-) (Sat, 15 May 2010 13:59:22 GMT)

Raymond I was right, it WAS Sanxion. The bass line always reminded me of "House Arrest" by Krush. Only Sanxion was written the year before. So Krush are a bunch if thieves. (Sat, 15 May 2010 14:07:57 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- Has anyone got any idea how many Paris maps we're gonna get tomorrow? Obviously 23 or more, hopefully enough to finish the final mission before it ends (Sun, 16 May 2010 23:10:09 GMT)

Raymond Looks like no Mona Lisa for me on MW, those cheapskate bastards @ Zynga only gave us 23 maps for the final day which only gave 20% mastery on the final job. Thanks for nothing Zynga! (Mon, 17 May 2010 14:11:07 GMT)

Raymond Testing out my new Sennhesier CX-300 II's. They even worry about your safety & say not to wear them in traffic or have them too loud. Not that you could anyway, their insanely loud even at low volume ;-) (Tue, 18 May 2010 13:18:38 GMT)

Raymond My impression on Zynga "Have 23 MW maps & an extra 12 hrs in Paris. Just so you know it wont matter a damn, you'll only get 20% mastery so that f**ks your chances of getting the Mona Lisa". Bastards, arent they? (Tue, 18 May 2010 13:42:04 GMT)

Raymond 400 energy & 115 maps to complete that final 3rd Paris mission in case you were curious. Not that it matters, I haven't got the maps or the energy. Its a nonevent horizon with a possibilty of zero squared. Ie:- Never gonna happen. (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:11:58 GMT)

Raymond How you can tell William Orbit helped Madonna on Frozen. The bassline sounds EXACTLY like Fascinating Rhythm by BassOMatic which he wrote. In fact the fricking words to Fascinating Rhythm even fit the tune of Frozen. Not a coincidence methinks. (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:19:51 GMT)

Raymond "And though I'm not as tall as you, I soar in my high heels", gotta love Emma Andersons lyrics ;-) (Modern Girl - Sing Sing. Track 4 on Sing Sing And I) (Tue, 18 May 2010 14:37:52 GMT)

Raymond I stopped this guy on the street to ask him the time & he had a strange accent so I asked him where he was from & he said "I live in a State of Permanent Confusion". "Isn't that in Mexico" I asked him but he just walked off ;-P (Tue, 18 May 2010 16:28:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear Indian Call Centres, The 1st Law of Customer Service - The Customer is ALWAYS right. When the person you are calling TELLS you to take no for an answer then give it up as a lost cause. Fuckwits. (Tue, 18 May 2010 17:06:07 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook. I haven't logged out in like a month. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO LOG BACK IN. FFS! (Wed, 19 May 2010 22:05:07 GMT)

Raymond Erm, has anyone yet pointed out to Zynga that MW gifts DONT HAVE EXPIRATION DATES? Stupid idiots. (Thu, 20 May 2010 13:52:15 GMT)

Raymond MW friends. Please do NOT end ANY gifts or respect requests to ANYONE for the next few days or until Zynga fixes whatever the hell they broke when Paris finished. (Thu, 20 May 2010 13:58:56 GMT)

Raymond Currently grabbing the Boy George thing & the Heaven 17 concert off Iplayer to watch tomorrow (Fri, 21 May 2010 02:42:44 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, "Thanks" for gifting my 1 & only Mugati Sport to someone who I was trying to help on a job & didnt even TOUCH the fricking gift button, let alone the SEND button. I now have to rely on his honesty & good nature to send it me back. And I can't wishlist it either. (Fri, 21 May 2010 13:29:29 GMT)

Raymond Heaven 17 performed as follows:-(We Dont Need This) Fascist Groove Thang, Penthouse & Pavement, Play To Win, Soul Warfare, Wichita Lineman, These Boots Are Made For Walking (ft Claudia Brukken on lead vocals), Geisha Boys & Temple Girls, Lets All Make A Bomb, The Height of the Fighting, Song With No Name, We're Going To Live For A Very Long Time, Temptation (Fri, 21 May 2010 15:27:21 GMT)

Raymond STOP with the stupidly long group names. (Fri, 21 May 2010 18:59:24 GMT)

Raymond I warned you about those bullshit fake groups with the long names. One of you just got yourself defriended. You cant say you weren't told not to. (Fri, 21 May 2010 22:44:05 GMT)

Raymond MW friends, dont go crazy with this Crime Spree thing, you can only accept 5 requests a day just like Respect. Anything after that & you lose the bonus. So I advise you dont send any more than 5 out a day. (Sat, 22 May 2010 15:35:46 GMT)

Raymond I have now diagnosed the cause of my fuzzy tv picture. It wasn't the RF aerial as previously suspected. Its the old Playstation RF aerial splitter. I guess I need a new one. (Sat, 22 May 2010 17:27:51 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please no more chop shop items (I am fully levelled up) & no sabotage requests for AT LEAST 2 days. (Sat, 22 May 2010 19:56:26 GMT)

Raymond I have cleared my MW robbing/sabotage requests. If you want to send me 1 tomorrow you can. Ignore what I said before. I'm me, I reserve the right to change my mind. And I frequently will ;-) (Sat, 22 May 2010 21:10:44 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars:- Can someone please hitlist me again, I've been working on upping my defence & my family has grown somewhat. It'd be interesting to see how long i can last now. If you do so tell me what your MW name is so I don't return the favour. (Sat, 22 May 2010 21:17:59 GMT)

Raymond I replaced "Hearts On Fire" (by John Cafferty from the Rocky 4 soundtrack" with the better longer version with the playout thats actually in the movie. Its MUCH better than the crappy soundtrack version which is the crap uninspiring version. Actually that should be its new universal MP3 tag "Rocky 4 Soundtrack John Cafferty Hearts on Fire (crap uninspiring version without movie playout)". (Sat, 22 May 2010 22:12:35 GMT)

Raymond Diagnosed & Rectified video capping fault. Capped all remaining Telebugs episodes, just fixing audio sync on AviRemux now. Expect 8 previously unavailable episodes on Youtube shortly. (Sun, 23 May 2010 14:36:08 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please do NOT send any Crime Spree or Respect Requests for the next 48 hours. Anything being sent from the posting of this message will be ignored. The process is still faulty, dont waste your daily send limit on them. (Mon, 24 May 2010 17:33:36 GMT)

Raymond wishes everything was as easy to solve as the mystery of the missing Savlon. (Thu, 27 May 2010 01:42:07 GMT)

Raymond Microwave NSP's. Microwave cooks, microwave stops. There is food in the microwave but no power. Fuse change, cock, hook & look. Forward assist. Microwave continues to cook. ;-) Only the RAF friends are going to get that one. (Thu, 27 May 2010 17:42:43 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of Glee, If Kurt REALLY wants to stop the Jocks picking on him all he has to do is tell them if they touch him again he'll make Columbine look like a Sunday School Picnic. Instant end to his bullying issues. Kurt is supposed to be smart? Then he really should have thought of this already. (Thu, 27 May 2010 18:15:00 GMT)

Raymond nearly all done with processing on my Adventure Game episodes. Just season 4 left. Which has the most episodes. Thats gonna take a while. (Thu, 27 May 2010 18:22:46 GMT)

Raymond I like my gaming friends which is why I'm giving this friendly warning. DO NOT publish things won from Crime Spree's. Anyone excessively spamming my feed with these WILL be defriended. Thats the only warning you should need. (Thu, 27 May 2010 22:12:12 GMT)

Raymond WTF happened to the co-op job I was helping on, Did you abandon me? If you'd stuck with it we'd have JUST won a gold. Good job I can't remember who you were or I'd be being VERY angry with you right now. You know who you are though. (Fri, 28 May 2010 11:46:16 GMT)

Raymond How are you supposed to reach level 4 on Treasure Isle if the game fails after 20 seconds EVERY time you try to play it? (Fri, 28 May 2010 17:11:24 GMT)

Raymond yet again been robbed by ANOTHER game via MW despite having already reached the goal it asks you to. Zynga you LYING BASTARDS! so now i have to get to fecking level 7 on Treasure Isle & its as unstable as hell. (Fri, 28 May 2010 23:03:53 GMT)

Raymond Ever suspected your Windows O/S is a dirty stinking liar, especially those "low memory" messages? Well I caught out XP just now. 2 processes running using 25,000k. I assume the Bill in Bill Gates also means Billy Bullshit? Because thats what your error message has been debunked as. (Sat, 29 May 2010 00:54:32 GMT)

Raymond They claimed the voting had changed yet its STILL The European Backslapping Contest with cronies voting for cronies. Why do we even bother entering any more? (Sat, 29 May 2010 22:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Anyone know how long it takes for the Reef Shark to appear in yout MW inventory after winning it? (Sun, 30 May 2010 16:59:53 GMT)

Raymond Currently I am recapping my Telebug episodes that had badly synced audio. 1 more to go, I may try to recap the one with the excess contrast too. We'll see I guess. (Mon, 31 May 2010 23:16:58 GMT)

Raymond All Telebug episodes now capped, just doing editing now. Have 3 left to edit then I am all done. (Tue, 01 Jun 2010 00:45:03 GMT)

Raymond All Telebugs episodes now capped & edited. I discovered Movie Maker has an audio boost function so I will be fixing a few of the quieter episodes too now. (Tue, 01 Jun 2010 02:02:03 GMT)

Raymond I just levelled up so have a full energy, health & stamina bar & am now gonna not touch MW until tomorrow. I intend to finish chapter 1 in 1 day. (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:43:49 GMT)

Raymond Was trying out a music site where you tell it what genre you like & what your current mood is I said dark mood, electro music. It started playing Missing by Everything But The Girl ;-) (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:55:59 GMT)

Raymond hmm, now on CSI:New York. Maroon 5 caused a riot. Maroon 5 arent good enough (or bad enough either) to cause a riot. (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:07:28 GMT)

Raymond Pop Quiz NO USING GOOGLE! 7 Ways To Love by Cola Boy is actually being sung by who? 10 points for a right answer, 110 points if your also Jason ;-) (Wed, 02 Jun 2010 22:30:41 GMT)

Raymond Whats the point of making Prince Of Persia into a movie? Its not like the game is very well known. Tombraider I understand as Lara Croft was globally known & recognised. The only POP game I can think of was on the NES so we're talking decades ago? (Thu, 03 Jun 2010 01:45:18 GMT)

Raymond Well I managed to get 2/3's of the way through the 3rd London job, didn't level up though so you earn REALLY low XP from that mission. I reckon I can finish chapter 1 tomorrow easily. (Thu, 03 Jun 2010 13:10:37 GMT)

Raymond Do you like the movie The Abyss? Got Google Earth & wanna see something cool? Enter 35° 2' 13.2" N, 81° 30' 43.2" W into Google Earth & look inside that circle on the left. Its the DEEPCORE RIG! (Fri, 04 Jun 2010 01:17:59 GMT)

Raymond Example of crazy Zynga Logic:- On Mafia Wars you can have a max of 501 crew members but can only send out a max of 40 gifts, crime sprees/respect requests every 24 hours. And you can only accept 5 crime sprees per day. More than slightly unfair, no? (Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:22:18 GMT)

Raymond Raymond completed the Robbing Good chapter in the Challenge Mission:
London! (19 minutes ago). Anyone else done it yet? (Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:52:15 GMT)

Raymond The end of Goonies "The Octopus was really scary". Oh you mean the one they cut out of the movie? So your line about it sounds really stupid? (Sun, 06 Jun 2010 18:09:26 GMT)

Raymond News from the Alter Zero Archives. I have uploaded the last 2 caps I did before my gear crapped out, links on both FB pages to Youtube. I will cap more performances when I get time, I promise. I will try & find Rob & Ade doing "Mr Clean" by The Jam. (Mon, 07 Jun 2010 02:41:19 GMT)

Raymond I just found out theres a new Predator movie coming out NEXT MONTH! Its called Predators, stars Laurence Fishburne & its a prequal. And it sounds VERY cool. (Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:58:52 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, Root Beer? DISGUSTING! FYI fellow Brits, smells like Germolene & tastes EXACTLY how Germolene smells. (Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:48:27 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else playing Zynga games getting a weird jar:file message in their URL bar now and then? Its deffo the Zynga toolbar causing it as I just stopped my browser to copy n paste the message into Notepad. (Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:23:21 GMT)

Raymond Dear Big Brother, pick a time slot & fecking STICK WITH IT FFS! (Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:57:37 GMT)

Raymond I cant be the only who thinks MW energy packs are a complete waste because you almost never get to use all the energy in one before you level up. Seriously Zynga, implement a "carry energy forward" policy. It cant be THAT hard? (Sat, 12 Jun 2010 02:34:58 GMT)

Raymond Farmville friends, unless I specifically request an item please DONT send me ANY gifts. I'm on level 70, I really DONT need them. Ok? And nothing more for Treasure Isle either? I was only playing it for a Mafia Wars item. (Sun, 13 Jun 2010 11:58:31 GMT)

Raymond I reject your reality & substitute my own.
In my reality England are still crap @ Football, Beers slightly cheaper,
Cider is ONLY made out of apples & Eddie Izzard is Prime Minister.
Oh, and Jeremy Clarkson was never born. And we get Mythbusters on telly every week ;-) And Pauley Perrette. LOTS of Pauley Perrette. (Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:42:49 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars, stop sending me emails telling me "your wish has been granted" claiming ppl are sending stuff on my wishlist. So far NOTHING they've sent have been wishlist items. (Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:57:59 GMT)

Raymond Have Facebook renamed the MW link? They go on about safety from dodgy links then the retards go & rename the link to make it look EXACTLY like a dodgy link. Dickheads! (Tue, 15 Jun 2010 21:13:25 GMT)

Raymond Are you one of my MW friends who was stupid enough to use this:-10.000 Mafia Wars rewards points free Coupon? You do know by using that you pretty much gave away ALL your personal
information. Expect to be hacked VERY soon. (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:02:30 GMT)

Raymond Can Facebook not make up their minds what the OFFICIAL Mafia Wars game link is called now? All these differently named links look as dodgy as HELL! (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:33:06 GMT)

Raymond Whats the point of a Farmville email fuel boost if it doesnt even last 24 hours? What a piece of useless crap! (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:14:59 GMT)

Raymond I'll repeat the status of a few days ago because its clear some of you didnt read it. Farmville friends, unless I specifically request
an item please DONT send me ANY gifts. Currently all I'd like if you are gifting is ANYTHING from the stable. Nothing else. (Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:15:42 GMT)

Raymond "We're going to remake The Karate Kid but there wont be ANY Karate in it because we think your too stupid to notice the difference. We also think your too stupid to notice that a tournament shouldnt continue if 1 finalist is disqualified. We also think your too stupid to notice that a Hurricanrana & a Bicycle Kick aren't legal Kung-Fu moves" (Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:43:32 GMT)

Raymond Stanislav Yevgrafovich Petrov. There should be statues of him in every city across the planet. Why? Because he single handedly prevented World War 3 on September 26, 1983. Thats why. And you probably haven't even heard of him. (Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:35:16 GMT)

Raymond Facebook,
which is the REAL Mafia Wars game link?
Mafia Wars MMO RPG Game or
Mafia Wars Game? (Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:59:30 GMT)

Raymond I love the Internet, I just got to watch the new episode of The IT Crowd & it doesnt even air until Friday! (Sat, 19 Jun 2010 22:36:12 GMT)

Raymond Seems I only missed a couple of seconds of the start of Doctor Who yesterday, at least I have seen the whole thing now. Roll on next week! (Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:22:08 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends:- Global Cup spares, 1 English Ball, 3 French Balls, 2 Italian Balls, 2 Argentinian Balls & 15 Spanish Balls. I will trade ANY of these for 1 Brazilian Ball (Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:29:39 GMT)

Raymond Do any of my Mafia crew need anything for the Global Cup collection? Got spares of everything except Germany, Msg me if ya do. (Mon, 21 Jun 2010 18:48:29 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia! Check your requests as I just sent out a crapload of wishlist items. All my spare Global Cup items are now gone. (Mon, 21 Jun 2010 20:22:19 GMT)

Raymond So let me get this straight, after 6 seasons of Lost the best ending they could come up with was an idea stolen from Red Dwarf? "Everybodies dead, Dave". I'm actually pretty angry about that. (Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:02:40 GMT)

Raymond Dear Penn & Tellers Bullshit! If you are going to do a Martial Arts episode about self defence why not ACTUALLY INCLUDE a Martial Art where you defend yourself as opposed to 1 where you attack. Because Karate totally isn't Self Defence. You might want to sack your researchers & Google Judo. (Fri, 25 Jun 2010 17:03:56 GMT)

Raymond Does anyone still need Global Cup items? I have spares of everywhere except Brazil, msg directly with which country you need (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:33:36 GMT)

Raymond Is FV now officially taking the piss? I planted a whole field using the seeder, collected 1 big can of fuel now every fuel I try gives me "You need to use some of your fuel to be eligible to
find more.". WTF? How much fuel do you want me to use? (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:39:26 GMT)

Raymond If we're this crap every 4 yrs why not just not bother next time, save the country the stress. You can't lose if your not even playing ;-) If your that pissed off why not watch BBC2 @ 5:30pm for Brits who don't get paid shitloads actually winning things on the Athletics. Or keep watching Mark Webbers 200mph crash until you realise theres worse things than losing @ football. (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:49:14 GMT)

Raymond Next time we need an English Coach. I recommend Harry Shaw ;-p (Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:37:05 GMT)

Raymond Theres been an open War job on my wall for TEN hours, so far ONE person only has helped. Thank you Tony
Holcomb. Now what about the rest of you? (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:11:48 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else having issues with Mafia Wars stuff not publishing? I've lost a Vegas item & my 1st War achievement didn't publish either (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:30:01 GMT)

Raymond I've got all 7 Las Vegas loot items, where do I claim my reward it mentioned from? (Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:43:49 GMT)

Raymond When in doubt, throw it out, the thought I can not live without. Say "Fuck it!" (Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:01:41 GMT)

Raymond In me Coventry home, in me Coventry home. We speak with an accent exceedingly rare, you want a Cathedral we got 2 to spare (cuz Time Team found another) ;-) (Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:31:00 GMT)

Raymond Is currently writing a parody song. Farmville fans, watch this space ;-) (Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:00:50 GMT)

Raymond Is currently writing a
parody song. Farmville fans, watch this space ;- (Its in my notes if you want a laugh) (Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:24:56 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to my amazing Mafia I just completed 2 Crew Collections in as many minutes. Bev, Issa, you rock ;-) (Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:32:16 GMT)

Raymond Here is my Mafia Wars Spares/Trade list:- http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=433259063277 (Sat, 03 Jul 2010 22:35:32 GMT)

Raymond Mafia friends PLEASE, NO MORE CHIPS! (Tue, 06 Jul 2010 11:12:10 GMT)

Raymond I was feeling hot & restless so finally finished my Depeche Mode review of Violator thats taken me over 3 months to complete. (Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:18:41 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars players, we're all idiots really. Why do we rank the Stolen Diamond collection so highly, all it yields is "Improve
odds of successful robberies by 10%" which given the amount of effort to earn the collection is TOTAL CRAP!" (Fri, 09 Jul 2010 01:06:15 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox, 2 things. Thing 1# When you crash (which is quite often you POC) don't make me have to ALSO kill you in Task Manager you cpu hungry TWAT! Thing #2 When you reload FROM a crash DONT reload whatever crashed you, you FUCKING RETARD! Its not rocket science. If it crashed you once then its NOT a good idea to try & reload it, is it? (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox (again), I WOULD replace you with a better browser BUT seeing
as the alternatives are IE8 (shit), Google Chrome (even worse), Opera
(dont make me laugh) or Safari (the browser version of Plan 9 From Outer
Space) then its better the devil you know as Kylie once said. PS, I am
amazed to discover Netscape STILL exists. Although its owned by Satans
cousin AOL. (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:13:54 GMT)

Raymond Current estimated temperature= Mind rapingly hot.
Secondary temperature estimate= Beyond bearable.
Predicted duration to dehydration= About 10 seconds.
Amount of liquid required to regain hydration equilibrium= All that exists. And then some. (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:25:04 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, do you see that link at the bottom of the page that says "Older Posts"? Please make it so when you click it that it ACTUALLY shows ALL your older posts right back to the point when you joined Facebook. So I only have to click it once, not about 53 trillion times. Maybe add a 2nd arrow that does that. It cant be THAT hard can it? (Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:45:08 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends, I have 3 spare Limes & a spare Cherry for either a Lucky 7 or a Liberty Bell? (Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:52:03 GMT)

Raymond What the hell is wrong with Farmville? Its SO SLOW! WTF have they done to it? Its not like it wasn't ALREADY CPU hungry they decided to make it worse? (Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:55:56 GMT)

Raymond I sent someone in my crew a whole bunch of Chop Shop parts, no clue who it was though. Whoever you are, enjoy them ;-) If it was you let me know? (Wed, 14 Jul 2010 21:47:40 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia! If you are still trying to do the Slots Collection I have spares of everything except the lucky 7 & triple bar. The Lucky 7 will requires something in trade if you want it though. (Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:54:37 GMT)

Raymond Hey American Facebook friends, any of you near
Goshen Indiana please check out the link on my profile page to see if you can help find Amber (Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:30:15 GMT)

Raymond Did you know it was possible to download stuff off ITV Player, 4OD & Demand Five? (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:26:15 GMT)

Raymond Its slightly wet out there (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:36:43 GMT)

Raymond If you are going to send a friend request (especially if its for a game) then include a message saying what the req is for therwise your going to be seeing ignore, ok? (Fri, 16 Jul 2010 21:49:34 GMT)

Raymond Can anyone explain what this sudden new MW trend is with idiots constantly attacking you? I note their all cowards with 501 Mafia. MW fighting is WAY overdue an overhaul, make it so you can ONLY fight ppl with the same amount of Mafia as you who are also within 5 levels of you. I am SICK of all these chickenshits. (Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:46:29 GMT)

Raymond To those in my Mafia who had reasonable things on their wishlists a lot of you have received stuff. To a lot of you who are extremely unrealistic you got nothing. Perhaps try building those cars or weapons yourself if you are such a high level. Or lower your expectations. (Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:39:43 GMT)

Raymond Why is it that every asshole who attacks me gets iced after 2 power attacks back. MW needs a self defence system so it DOES fight back when you aren't playing. Isnt that the whole point of having a mafia after all, to protect you? (Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:06:42 GMT)

Raymond Attention Doctor Who fans! There is a Dr Who Prom on Saturday, BBC Radio 3 at 7:30pm. The general consensus is that it will be broadcast on tv proper at Christmas. (Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:32:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Mafia Wars you retarded assholes, Las Vegas is in America. Just like New York. And it uses the DOLLAR! So why are you using a different currency for it you IDIOTS? (Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:12:13 GMT)

Raymond Is anyone else having MEGA issues with gifts & requests not loading? Seems its all Zynga games. (Wed, 21 Jul 2010 21:21:23 GMT)

Raymond To avoid getting killed a lot I have removed MW from my applications
while this fighting promotion is on (it starts in 16 hours). Until then dont send me any gifts. (Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:02:13 GMT)

Raymond Marking out at this weeks Futurama for the Bladerunner reference. (Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:04:02 GMT)

Raymond Facebooks latest error message:- Bad Request
- Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.

So you dont understand what F5 means? Wow, I knew Facebook was SHIT but this is beyond a joke. (Sun, 25 Jul 2010 12:49:28 GMT)

Raymond I just learnt the term STAB & what it stands for. Hilarious ;-)
Thats the term Weekend Warrior replaced forever in my vocabulary from now on. (Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:09:15 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars is starting to take the piss now, I had full health & lost nearly 600 yet the log says no-one fought me & I haven't done any jobs. WTF? (Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:24:50 GMT)

Raymond had 606 health. lost 262 in fights to 1 person. yet i only had 6 health left. MW is totally FUCKED right now (Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:46:01 GMT)

Raymond Ok Mafia Wars, if your not completely broken how am I being put into fights when I have less than 20 health which according to YOUR rules isnt possible? (Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:23:15 GMT)

Raymond "Theres's a saying in creole," Beauvoir said. "What's that?" "Evil exists." (Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:09:25 GMT)

Raymond Apparently Bill Gates is giving away half his fortune to charity, like he'll even notice its gone. You wonder what kind of tax break he'll get for doing that too? (Wed, 04 Aug 2010 17:26:49 GMT)

Raymond If revenge is sweet it makes you wonder what they served as a main course & appetiser (Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:37:37 GMT)

Raymond If you've sent me a Mafia Wars request recently and not heard back within 24hrs then your probably the person I accidently clicked ignore on (whose name I didn't even see as it happened so fast), FB was just being so weird I clicked it by mistake. Just send me another request. I'm really sorry, my bad. I'll make it up to you with a nice gift, ok? (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:09:52 GMT)

Raymond Found the request thru my list, sorted. Gift on its way shortly (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:53:40 GMT)

Raymond Everything Windows is, it stole off Macintosh. FACT. (Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:18:03 GMT)

Raymond thinks that "Compare the Herpestidae" doesn't quite have the same ring does it? (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:16:57 GMT)

Raymond How to tell FV designers DONT even play the game (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 22:20:58 GMT)

Raymond I have nothing on my mind. (Sat, 07 Aug 2010 22:26:17 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, as I just completed Moscow if you need any of the Russian consumables for jobs there then please feel free to ask. (Sun, 08 Aug 2010 15:28:49 GMT)

Raymond Mafia friends, if you are going to ask for help on a DEA fight PLEASE say what level the agent you are fighting actually is. It will help your friends know whether they can help you or not. (Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:26:18 GMT)

Raymond Guess who just discovered a rather useful glitch when fighting the DEA guys in Mafia Wars ;-) (Mon, 16 Aug 2010 03:31:40 GMT)

Raymond Coventry, UK. Its 3.29pm & we're back exactly where we were 12 hours ago - Its dark and its pissing it down with rain. (Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:32:49 GMT)

Raymond The "Without Google" challenge. WITHOUT USING GOOGLE (or any other search engine which includes Youtube), Who sang "I'd Rather Jack"? There is no prize. If you get it right you get the satisfaction that you actually knew it without cheating ;-) (Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:24:40 GMT)

Raymond Brandy Green of GHI has slammed one of my reviews. Bad editing puts you in a bad light Brandy. If Pilgrim edit you to look like completely useless twats then your going to come off looking like completely useless twats in the show. Don't blame me, speak to Craig Pilligian. I only review the show (sometimes). (Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:07:56 GMT)

Raymond I WAS (note use of past tense) going to try the final 2 fights against Iverson & Embry but seeing as Zynga stole my stamina toolbar boost I wont be bothering. No way are either of those guys beatable without it. (Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:00:23 GMT)

Raymond Just watched Snoop Dogg blow up an Armoured Car. Swearing and all ;-) (Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:20:28 GMT)

Raymond Why Mafia Wars is TOTAL bullshit. I have 640 Health. According to my status bar I got hit for 227 health (leaving me 413). Yet some how I got killed, so how the hell does that happen & KEEP happening? Learn to subtract Zynga? (Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:13:31 GMT)

Raymond The "No Search Engines Challenge" is back! Todays question is a 2 parter, Who was Ford Timelord & what UK #1 record was he credited on? (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:14:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if you dont want us sending out FR's because we've sent out some that went unanswered then why not implement a feature that allows us to monitor our pending FR's? Or is that too sensible for you? (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:27:31 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars Warning! CAUTION! It appears some loudmouth idiot must have blabbed about the exact details of the "Health Glitch" in Boss Fights as Zynga now appear to give the boss a full health refill when you do one as well. So thanks to some fool its now totally useless. (Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:29:18 GMT)

Raymond I am dismayed to read that the script for Ridley Scotts adaptation The Forever War (by Joe Haldeman) has now gone to its 5th draft. And that rather shockingly NONE of those were written by Joe himself. Personally I'd rather it stayed in developmental hell than be adapted by anyone other than the author himself. (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:38:35 GMT)

Raymond My ping is low, I haven't passed the data cap yet my connection is as slow as hell. WTF? (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:32:49 GMT)

Raymond Hey Facebookers, a while back I brought the Robert Llewllyn online show Car Pool to the attention of my feed. If you like Robert & have enjoyed Car Pool you'll be happy to hear he has FINALLY got himself a tv deal & he'll be doing Car Pool on Dave from October! (Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:57:49 GMT)

Raymond Brits, imagine a rocking Green Day/Blink 182 style guitar tune called "Death To Jedward". You know you'd buy it, right? (Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:22:40 GMT)

Raymond Its raining, its pouring. Gone on so long its boring.
We get the gist through all the mist, You think its Global Warming (Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:58:26 GMT)

Raymond Osborns Law:
Variables won't. Constants aren't.
How awesome is that? (Sun, 29 Aug 2010 01:25:07 GMT)

Raymond You know the "daily rewards incentive" on MW where you get stuff if you login every day? I just got the Plaid Egg that I had wishlisted. (Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:25:53 GMT)

Raymond Just got a good laugh at the expense of The Gadget Show, their saying "check our website". Shame its currently down you FOOLS! (Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:34:45 GMT)

Raymond Facebook finally back to normal then? Took them all fucking day though. (Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:08:11 GMT)

Raymond After sending a screenshot proving what level I was on Texas HoldEm I finally got my Pocket Rocket achievement in MW the same day I reported it to them. Outstanding! (Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:05:43 GMT)

Raymond Happy Birthday Jasper Newton Daniel! And thank you for the lovely black leather embossed card holder. (Thu, 02 Sep 2010 11:41:07 GMT)

Raymond Marketing Man denies using hit song to create new business :- Tree Museum, entry fee $1.50 (Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:02:41 GMT)

Raymond Red Dwarf question:- Who according to the Cat Bible is their god? Provide proof. (Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:10:04 GMT)

Raymond Will not be wasting any of his MW resources on San Jaun. (Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:18:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of Fight Club, has no-one ever pointed out to you that the 1st Rule of Fight Club blatently violates itself? Or did you not spot that? (Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:36:37 GMT)

Raymond Hey Mafia friends, if your going send a gift in the next 24 hours please make it Bollywood Reels. And as many as possible please? Otherwise I'm seriously going to fall short in Mumbai. (Thu, 09 Sep 2010 21:47:16 GMT)

Raymond is really disappointed to discover that Police Syncronicity lyric was actually "Science insusceptible" & not Scientific Vegetables like I thought it was. I prefer mine ;-) (Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:51:13 GMT)

Raymond Revive an 80's word or phrase day. Word-sound, British word means good. Phrase usage "As sound as a pound that you found on the ground". American equivalent "Sweet" (Fri, 10 Sep 2010 16:03:42 GMT)

Raymond I just need 4 more Bollywood Film Reels to complete Mumbai (Sat, 11 Sep 2010 13:40:10 GMT)

Raymond Dear Go Compare bloke, you're only legging it off that island so fast because you know that marooned guy is looking at his next 10 or 15 meals. (Sat, 11 Sep 2010 22:34:27 GMT)

Raymond You know that line in "Shake Your Head" by Was (Not Was) that says "You can't fight the Armed Forces"? Actually you can, and you can win. Its only possible providing they dont know your fighting them. ;-P (Tue, 14 Sep 2010 14:04:43 GMT)

Raymond I need 1 set of ABC Blocks to complete this new collection on FV, can anyone help me out? (Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:56:32 GMT)

Raymond I just opened our fridge & saw a carton of Carrot & Coriander soup. I just wanted to write Chilli Chowder on it as soon as I saw it. Sad thing, not many ppl are gonna get that. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 14:40:20 GMT)

Raymond After hearing enough of the lyrics I was able to Google them & discover the music Vodaphone are using for their latest advert is "I'm All Over It" by Jamie Cullem. I thought I'd recognised his style. I note Vodaphone have picked the best bit, the really catchy chorus section. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 23:33:14 GMT)

Raymond Marvin's Lullaby
"How I Hate the Night"
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head
I can see by infra-red,
How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night. (Fri, 17 Sep 2010 23:57:00 GMT)

Raymond If you are a fan of early 80's music I've just uploaded 2 performances from Nine Below Zero onto Youtube from their appearance on OTT in 1982 (Sun, 19 Sep 2010 04:55:40 GMT)

Raymond Possibly THE most stupid song lyric ever? "Girl, I'll House you". And no, he didnt mean he'd buy or give her a house. Stupid House music lyrics from 1989 (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:47:28 GMT)

Raymond This week on X Factor we welcome special judge Charlotte Church, her challenge to our contestants - Sing your piece. IN WELSH! ;-) Gwnewch iddo felly! (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:51:47 GMT)

Raymond Todays useless fact. The Welsh, Greek & English words for Wolverhampton are all exactly the same ;-) And theres no Latvian translation for the word University either. (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:59:09 GMT)

Raymond Best John Carpenter movie ever currently on ITV4+1, original version of The Fog! (Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:06:59 GMT)

Raymond Secret Stash question. It ONLY goes to your wall, only you can open it.
So what causes this message if you are the ONLy person with access to it?

This stash has already been found. Fight another mafia now to find your own. (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 11:24:48 GMT)

Raymond MW - I noted ALL the "Secret Drop" rewards are complete Shyte. And all the people you suggested I send them to are people who NEVER send back. (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 11:36:35 GMT)

Raymond So is Facebook loading INSANELY slowly for everyone then? (Thu, 23 Sep 2010 19:09:24 GMT)

Raymond Dear makers of "Melissa & Joey", you REALLY dont know your audience so heres what we REALLY want. Melissa should say "Woo hoo!" at least once per show & Joey should say "Woah!" also at least once per show. And if you want to put Melissa in slightly more revealing outfits I can deal with that. A cameo by Jenna Von Oy would be nice too ;-) (Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:41:12 GMT)

Raymond I might not be Rod Hull but I do have Green Jelly ;-) (Sun, 26 Sep 2010 21:48:28 GMT)

Raymond I might not be able to remember what I did yesterday but you can play me a song from 1983 & I bet I'll know most of the words to it. (Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:57:33 GMT)

Raymond Answer from an episode of Family Fortunes (Family Feud to Americans) they couldn't air. "We asked 100 people, name a party you wouldn't want to attend". Their answer "The Labour Party" ;-P (Mon, 27 Sep 2010 15:03:52 GMT)

Raymond Either Fox massively increased Family Guys budget or they pissed away their entire seasons budget on CGI for the Premiere. I expect the reason of season 9 to look as bad as Tracey Ullmans version of The Simpsons. (Tue, 28 Sep 2010 17:01:57 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends! I have at least 1 spare of ALL the Global Cup Items. If you want anything its 1st come 1st served. 1 Item per player only though to make it fair. DO NOT reply to this, message my Inbox with your desired item. Mails will be answered in time order. (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 16:47:11 GMT)

Raymond KILLER version of Only Exception by Rachel on Glee. Totally shat on Britneys various Britney Spears covers. (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 19:12:21 GMT)

Raymond Its bizarre that my 2 current favourite bits of music are both from adverts. Grace (by Will Young, from the Natwest ad) & I'm All Over It (by Jamie Cullem from the Vodahone ad) (Wed, 29 Sep 2010 19:49:05 GMT)

Raymond Just won the Mafia Wars Bowie Knife off Frontierville ;-) If you are going to send pig gifts no more curly tails please as I have completed it fully, thank you! (Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:34:56 GMT)

Raymond Hey Mafia Friends, if you have gifts sends left I still need 5 more Boss Hogs. If you need anything else back then say so when you send me stuff. Currently I only want those 5 and Pints Of Stout for Dublin. (Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:50:33 GMT)

Raymond Please be aware the Indian Call Centres are up to their old tricks again & are doing another round of the "Microsoft Update required" scam, so if anyone rings you claiming to be from Microsoft saying your computer needs an update IGNORE THEM! DO NOT go to the web address they will try to give you as if you download the software it WILL infect your machine & they will then charge you to remove it. Its a SCAM! (Sat, 02 Oct 2010 11:36:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear Family Guy, People outside the US dont know who Rush Limbaugh or Nancy Pelosi are. I doubt many Americans know who they are either. And whats the point of making the American Dad season premiere a carbon copy of last weeks Family Guy season premiere. Or are you really that badly out of ideas? (Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:44:52 GMT)

Raymond Dear American Dad, 2 seconds on Google told me a Greyhound Bus holds 55 people max, NOT 96. Is research THAT hard? (Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:56:59 GMT)

Raymond Finally after over 3 months of procrastination I finished my Songs Of Faith & Devotion review. Now I have to live with reviewing Depeche Mode without Alan Wilder, that should be interesting. I've got Ultra, Exciter & Playing the Angel left then I have reviewed their whole back catalogue. (Tue, 05 Oct 2010 01:54:23 GMT)

Raymond Attention Mafia Friends, no more Pints Of Stout please. I have FINISHED Dublin. Any other gift is welcome, if you desire a Pint in return then ask for one. Dont just send me one & hope I'll return it. Because it'll just be ignored. (Tue, 05 Oct 2010 19:51:30 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, is it just me or has anyone else suddenly lost a crapload of fuel overnight? (Wed, 06 Oct 2010 16:45:31 GMT)

Raymond I'm pretty happy (for a change, ok Evi?) that I've finished all the Donkey work on my Ultra review. Just a matter of doing the music bit & the summary. (Wed, 06 Oct 2010 23:57:03 GMT)

Raymond Ultra review finito, just Exciter & Playing The Angel left. We're into the final lap ;-) (Sat, 09 Oct 2010 00:04:26 GMT)

Raymond For a long time, much to the annoyance of EJ (sorry EJ) I have compared "Oblivious" (by Aztec Camera to "Captain Of Her Heart" (by Double). I can now finally settle my query, Aztec Camera wrote their tune 1st. Again, sorry EJ. I know how much it annoys you, I can't help it. I'm slightly mental, but you already knew that ;-) (Sun, 10 Oct 2010 21:07:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Jean-Michel Jarre, next time you do a free concert online - ADVERTISE IT! (Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:25:25 GMT)

Raymond I guess its official, I am a Goth. I'm watching CSI & they visited a "Vampire Bar" & I was able to identify "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus in the background even over their very loud conversation. (Tue, 12 Oct 2010 22:34:11 GMT)

Raymond MW:- I have a spare Manicotti if anyone wants to trade for a Conchiglie? (Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:40:31 GMT)

Raymond My brother just pointed out on the old old intros to The Simpsons that Homer manages to open the door from the garage into the house without using either of his hands as they are both in the air when the door opens. 20+ yrs as we just noticed it ;-) (Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:05:45 GMT)

Raymond I think I need 10 more Bubba Masks, help me out? (Fri, 15 Oct 2010 19:20:11 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars, an example of Zynga logic. Its easier to complete a HARD mission than a MEDIUM mission because a medium mission takes 15 clicks & a hard mission takes 13. Work that one out. (Sat, 16 Oct 2010 19:44:05 GMT)

Raymond Farmville, what ever happened to being able to farm 12 lots of fuel from feeds per day? Now theres some bullshit about having to use a certain amount of fuel before being able to grab any. Its utter crap because you have to use more than you're able to get back again. Its not like you can even gift fuel either. (Sun, 17 Oct 2010 15:23:20 GMT)

Raymond Emailed Leatherman to find out if my Star Trek multitool was actually made by them or not. If its a yes I can get it fixed for free. (Sun, 17 Oct 2010 21:56:01 GMT)

Raymond Wonders how long it takes to format 1 terabyte. Well 930 gig you lying twats, Western Digital. (Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:12:36 GMT)

Raymond I name this child Argh, Argh, I'm dying you idiot. "Argh, Argh I'm Dying You Idiot Sinclair. Next!" Gotta love Jim Hensons Dinosaurs ;-) (Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:46:00 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars makes a funny joke "Italy aint cheap, get some Lira". Actually Zynga the Lira was possibly the 2nd worst valued global after the Indian Rupee. Monopoly money was worth more than the Lira. And Italy uses the Euro now. Fuckwits. (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:34:47 GMT)

Raymond I'm confused with XP & its inconsistant USB data transfer rates. 37.7 gig took an hour & 20 minutes. Yet 40.1 gig took 59 minutes. Weird. (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:51:06 GMT)

Raymond Will trade either Planet Bollywood matchbook or Mountain Lion for the fricking Mysterious Note in Mafia Wars (Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:30:36 GMT)

Raymond Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends. (Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:41:48 GMT)

Raymond The Young Ones test, how much of a fan are you? WITHOUT USING GOOGLE Name
the track that is playing when Neil raids Warlocks house. Bonus point
for who its by. Double points if you can name the album its off. (Sun, 24 Oct 2010 00:51:24 GMT)

Raymond MW - I'm waiting on 10 other people, I could be completing other missions but for you slow people. HURRY UP! (Sun, 24 Oct 2010 17:56:44 GMT)

Raymond If brains were dynamite you wouldnt have enough to blow your nose. (Mon, 25 Oct 2010 14:37:52 GMT)

Raymond Are you male,aged between 11 & 24? Then watch Scott Pilgrim VS The World as its clearly aimed at you. If your not then your going to hate it. PS - Its SHIT! (Fri, 29 Oct 2010 04:10:40 GMT)

Raymond C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out
again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going
into Wisconsin.

Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it! (Fri, 29 Oct 2010 23:34:20 GMT)

Raymond Glee thoughts - Dear Will Schuester, I just worked out how you can get rid of Emma's boyfriend. Little Shop Of Horrors - We all know what happened to the dentist in that, dont we ;-) (Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:28:22 GMT)

Raymond And we just spotted our next Superman, Cory Monteith (in his Brad costume) made a perfect Clark Kent. Make It So! (Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:40:23 GMT)

Raymond Sorry stomach, you can rumble as loud as you want. NO FOOD! Not with this fricking throat. Now shut up & suffer with the rest of us.. (Mon, 01 Nov 2010 14:50:18 GMT)

Raymond Wonders if anyone in my Mafia can spare 6 stunguns, 4 grenades & 1 shiv
so I have a complete set of everything when I try to attack the level 3 Vegas boss on the final mastery level (Mon, 01 Nov 2010 18:29:52 GMT)

Raymond Coming this winter from Muntz Movies Incorporated - " I Ha Ha On Your Grave", A Nelson Muntz Production for Fox Searchlight. (Wed, 03 Nov 2010 21:50:18 GMT)

Raymond Dear Pat Sharp, yes it was me who moonied at you through the window of Capital Radio whilst you were live & on air in 1994. I regret nothing ;-) (Thu, 04 Nov 2010 22:27:20 GMT)

Raymond How different would the opening to Moby Dick have been if Herman Melville had lived with his mother? "Call me Ishmael. Actually we call you Phillip, dont we dear?" (Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:25:52 GMT)

Raymond Rays Useless Fact Of The Day :- The bird you can hear on 808 State's Pacific is the North American Loon. (Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:00:46 GMT)

Raymond Nerd Mode On:- I can die happy now I've found how to get more than 1000 news headers at once. (Sat, 06 Nov 2010 00:38:54 GMT)

Raymond Hey, I just connected my account to Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com (Sat, 06 Nov 2010 16:23:44 GMT)

Raymond : "Depeche Mode And Their Sounds Of The Universe" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 12:27:48 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/amq0sN on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Speak And Spell By Depeche Mode" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:16:46 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cD34RA on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "My Experience of Ghosts" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:45:48 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/dp3GOw on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "My London Marathon Experience" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:09:04 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/baZvrW on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Name Deleted" (Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:20:46 GMT)

Raymond Harry Potter is popular but not for the reason YOU think. Its because his FULL name is actually Haribo Potter. ;-P (Wed, 10 Nov 2010 20:01:02 GMT)

Raymond Twice tonight Facebook has tried to spam me. "Find your friends using Outlook Express" and "Find your friends using Windows Live Messenger". Listen FB, if I wanted my email passwords stolen & distributed globally I'd put them up as my status. Now get stuffed. (Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:43:23 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/aGpul9 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E15 - A Bat Out of Hell Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:29:20 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/8Y3ffK on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E16 - Glimmer Man Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:38:35 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/alunsu on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E17 - Fort Henry Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:51:22 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/aF1fCJ on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E19 - Rocky Mountain Hauntings Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:57:42 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/b47tTF on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghost Hunters S05E20 - Ghost of Buffalo Bill Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:01:10 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/bd2yWU on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters - Alcatraz Live Event Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:07:46 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/ajeGhb on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E01 - Web of Deceit Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:12:12 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cPAXhN on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E02 - The Honeymoons Over Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:17:21 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cafzRh on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E03 - Back to Basics Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:21:20 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/bnfqu0 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E04 - Drama Queen Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:24:53 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/atRvPo on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E05 - The Blame Game Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:30:17 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cmf4Mc on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Ghosthunters Academy - S01E06 - Final Exams Reviewed" (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:36:07 GMT)

Raymond MW, can anyone who has completed Bangkok please send me any spare Satellite Phones as I can't replay the chapter they drop from because I sold everything there to allow me to play chapter 6 (Sat, 13 Nov 2010 20:07:54 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/cA8Yx8 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "A Broken Frame by Depeche Mode" (Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:05:13 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://bit.ly/byaBnR on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett" (Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:22:04 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, thanks for not thinking a filename will change colour after enabling disk compression was an important thing to mention. Thanks Google, at least you arent run by useless wankers! (Sun, 21 Nov 2010 19:28:50 GMT)

Raymond Dear America, Jelly isnt what you think it is. Thats JAM. Learn what Jam is. Its only 3 measly letters. Its not rocket science. And the word colour has a U in it. OK? (Sun, 21 Nov 2010 22:42:21 GMT)

Raymond Dear this weeks The Cleveland Show. Your idea was derogative of
Fattypuffs and Thinifers, Andre Maurois beat you to it by over 30 years. And his book was MILES better. And it had an actual proper resolution. (Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:05:59 GMT)

Raymond You know you are becoming serious with your fan fiction when you have to Google if Solar Winds are radioactive. Which they are, I now know. (Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:47:42 GMT)

Raymond Farmville screwing me over YET AGAIN with late "free daily fuel"? Look Zynga, if you are gonna send 'em, send 'em on the right freaking day? (Wed, 24 Nov 2010 23:07:55 GMT)

Raymond 10 ppl accepted invites, even got "It's Turkey Time! You earned the Wild Turkey!" then checked loot & NOTHING? So where the hell is my Wild Turkey? Theres no button to collect it so how are we getting it? Getting stiffed by Zynga YET AGAIN! (Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:46:34 GMT)

Raymond It'll take about 5 mins or so, you'll get this message "Congratulations! Your friends helped you by coming to the dinner table
and you received Wild Turkey!" and it'll be in your loot. See complaining DOES work! (Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:54:09 GMT)

Raymond Read about half of "Catcher In The Rye" by JD Salinger. Its truly ABYSMAL! I had to stop where I was as I was losing the will to live. (Wed, 01 Dec 2010 23:30:09 GMT)

Raymond Anybody who wants to start a war should be forced to read "All Quiet On The Western Front" from start to finish. It would put an end to ALL conflicts. (Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:29:22 GMT)

Raymond Arthur recognised the hallmarks of insanity. They were easy to distinguish after spending any amount of time with Zaphod Beeblebrox. Right now he saw them staring back at him from the eyes in the mirror. It had to happen eventually. (Fri, 03 Dec 2010 01:43:13 GMT)

Raymond Chose this one for a particular reason ;-) (Sat, 04 Dec 2010 19:50:26 GMT)

Raymond Dear Farmville, heres an odd idea. Try sending me my daily free fuel email on the day I can ACTUALLY USE IT? 3 days of double fuel you've screwed me out of now because of your SHITTY slow email servers. They make Hotmail look like F1. (Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:29:16 GMT)

Raymond Dear writers of The Simpsons, Jimmy Smits played Senator Bail Organa. I knew that but 3 seconds on Wikipedia would have told you. (Wed, 08 Dec 2010 18:29:32 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars. Is there a limit to how many ppl you can send "Governator" votes to? Because it wont let me send any more out. So if you get a request from me please vote? I'll vote on anyone sending me 1, ok? (Thu, 09 Dec 2010 14:23:48 GMT)

Raymond Congratulations! You earned the 2nd Amendment! (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:20:30 GMT)

Raymond Little ditty about Lando and Han, One guy called Solo and one Calrissian

Oh Lando had this ship, They played some cards and Han won it.

Lando won a mining planet, It wasn't hard cuz Lobot ran it. (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:33:09 GMT)

Raymond Move over Air & Royksopp:- MackintoshBraun are gonna steal your crown! (Fri, 10 Dec 2010 16:20:03 GMT)

Raymond They altered Facebook AGAIN? You can't just type in a status any more, you have to select it. Thats bloody annoying. If it aint broke, DONT FIX IT! (Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:09:06 GMT)

Raymond I guess I'll have to look through the cupboard for my running spikes if its like this next week. (Fri, 17 Dec 2010 14:15:02 GMT)

Raymond John E.L. Tenney, Presenter of Paranormal State: The New Class, read & commented on my review of their 1st show! How awesome is that? (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 12:08:50 GMT)

Raymond Who do I have to kill to find a long version of the Bugs theme tune by Gavin Greenaway. Its fucking brilliant but its TOO SHORT! (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:49:51 GMT)

Raymond Its the return of the "Without Google" challenge. What 80's 1 hit wonder sang "Oh no, Its You"? To make it hard that wasn't their hit either ;-) Yes, i am a git. (I can hear you calling me one now Steve & Jason) (Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:55:40 GMT)

Raymond Please. No more Farmville gifts. I will not be playing it after today. (Sun, 19 Dec 2010 16:44:43 GMT)

Raymond Guesses no-one is sending out tree lights in Mafia Wars? (Thu, 23 Dec 2010 13:39:48 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars, If I sent you a request to protect my presents you can now respond and accept (hopefully) (Fri, 24 Dec 2010 15:53:56 GMT)

Raymond Sugar & Spice, Curry without rice. Thats what disappointment is made of ;-P (Fri, 24 Dec 2010 17:04:15 GMT)

Raymond 2 different kinds of beer & a bottle of JD. Game on! (Sat, 25 Dec 2010 12:19:19 GMT)

Raymond Not only did it get warm enough to start to thaw its now actually raining. (Mon, 27 Dec 2010 23:53:21 GMT)

Raymond Thx to all for the global B'day wishes. About to watch WSM final shortly then enjoy a drinky or 4. Have a good New Year all. (Fri, 31 Dec 2010 22:03:31 GMT)

Raymond If anyone has completed the 50,000 ft mission can I have any spare Reserve Chutes as I am on 20% of the 3rd mission in part 3. With spare chutes I might JUST complete it. (Sat, 01 Jan 2011 17:25:16 GMT)

Raymond I worked out I need 70 Reserve Chutes to complete the mission. I've got 491 Mafia Members. So come on & make it possible for me folks? (Sun, 02 Jan 2011 01:46:48 GMT)

Raymond Happy to report I have completed the 50,000ft event in Mafia Wars thanks to the 72 Reserve Chutes I was awarded this evening ;-) (Sun, 02 Jan 2011 20:30:52 GMT)

Raymond Just published http://l.bukisa.com/h3wLX5 on Bukisa: http://www.bukisa.com: "The Traveller" (Mon, 03 Jan 2011 19:55:25 GMT)

Raymond 3 days in & I have written my 1st short story this year. I think what I might do is finish the sniper story (which I still cant decide on an ending for) & the big room then put them all together as an short Ebook anthology. (Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:27:44 GMT)

Raymond Very short power outage, enough to knock out the computer though. (Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:41:44 GMT)

Raymond Todays good question. If The Green Hornet remake is supposed to be set in the 60's then what the F**K are they doing shooting at a traffic camera which wont be invented for another 20 yrs? Gotta be a REALLY crap move if thats in the advert. (Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:12:31 GMT)

Raymond You've travelled so far only to find what you seek you left behind. (Fri, 07 Jan 2011 11:56:03 GMT)

Raymond Just watching this weeks Stars Wars The Clone Wars & a droid just said "By Your Command". COMPLETE mark out for the BSG original series reference! (Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:37:26 GMT)

Raymond New Torchwood starting July 1st, ok! (Sun, 09 Jan 2011 15:44:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, when you sent me the thing asking my "Do you want to change to the new look profile?" I said no. So don't you FUCKING dare touch my old profile! (Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:50:28 GMT)

Raymond Things its useful to know:- No man will ever cut himself shaving with Occam's Razor. Yes, its a science joke. You'll either get or you'll have to Google it. And then you probably STILL won't get it. (Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:39:01 GMT)

Raymond Is currently working on a new short story titled "The Spaceship To Last Week". (Wed, 12 Jan 2011 17:08:28 GMT)

Raymond Still has a "classic" profile for the time being. Fuck you very much, Facebook! (Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:44:12 GMT)

Raymond Bastards, they put me onto the new profile. You asked "Do you want this" & I said NO. What was the fucking point in asking me if you were going to do it anyway you dickheads? (Tue, 18 Jan 2011 15:34:57 GMT)

Raymond Todays memory "With targets locked & reheats screaming, the words 'Bug Out!' have no meaning". Why can I never remember the whole thing? Cue EJ. (Tue, 18 Jan 2011 17:15:10 GMT)

Raymond has decided his ebook anthology will probably be called "Tales From The Necessarium", as thats where most of the ideas started. Its other title might be "The Bits Of Paper Collection", as most of the ideas were written on random bits of paper. (Wed, 19 Jan 2011 01:30:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Nigerian Lottery Scammers, its a REALLY bad idea to impersonate the FBI, how does 3 yrs jail time sound? (Thu, 20 Jan 2011 14:04:56 GMT)

Raymond Hello to whoever it was beeping their horn at me in a white transit as I crossed over Broadgate today. I was too far away to see who you were, sorry! If it was you do say hello back, it'd be nice to know who it was. (Fri, 21 Jan 2011 11:33:45 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, if it has 3 zeros then its a THOUSAND, NOT something hundred. The word thousand isnt THAT hard to learn. (Tue, 25 Jan 2011 18:32:38 GMT)

Raymond You know its cold in your neighbourhood when the BBC knock on your door to tell you Bruce Parry is filming inserts for "Arctic" outside your house. (Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:47:31 GMT)

Raymond Dear Top Gear, way to repeat a challenge that already aired on Australian Top Gear several months ago. So basically this week I get to see NOTHING new. (Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:07:29 GMT)

Raymond Impossible to do
In high heels walking into walls
Ever wonder if you're here at all
Try whistling this (Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:03:26 GMT)

Raymond Its the "Without Google" Challenge! Without Google (or another search engine) Name 2 hit songs by Buggles that AREN'T "Video Killed The Radio Star". (Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:19:48 GMT)

Raymond Today I could easily buy drugs, sex or guns. But I couldn't buy Twiglets or a 300g bar of chocolate. Thats the state this country is in. (Fri, 04 Feb 2011 11:24:53 GMT)

Raymond Screw the Black Eyed Peas & their crappy megamix, what you really wanted to watch was the Glee half time show - Now that was AWESOME! (Mon, 07 Feb 2011 16:23:38 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends - please dont send me anything (AT ALL) as a gift unless theres a new mission or promotion on. It just takes WAY too long to accept gifts now. Unless theres a quicker way I will just delete gifts rather than accept them. (Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:39:29 GMT)

Raymond Has now finished reviewing ALL 12 of Depeche Modes studio albums. What an epic journey! (Sat, 12 Feb 2011 16:01:38 GMT)

Raymond Wonders how many times has everyone also typed a status then either deleted it or just not clicked share because they realised it was a case of TMI? (Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:55:06 GMT)

Raymond Would really like a t-shirt that says Dwi wedi astudio yn y Sefydliad Cymreig Of Wood (I've studied at The Welsh Institute Of Wood). Make a spare for EJ as well ;-) (Mon, 21 Feb 2011 02:43:01 GMT)

Raymond Roedd fy nhad ei eni yng Nghymru ac mae pob Cawn oedd hyn acen wirion (Mon, 21 Feb 2011 02:45:21 GMT)

Raymond Not content with putting their price up 50p last yr after switching to electronic billing Virginmedia added 15p when VAT went up. And are now rising their prices AGAIN by 75p. Meaning JUST 10meg Broadband will now cost over £21. More than 2 quid per meg, piss take or what? (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 13:09:50 GMT)

Raymond Youtube users, yes you WILL now need a Google account to login & if you use Firefox & are only getting a black screen just reinstall flash & it should work after you reboot Firefox. (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:09:38 GMT)

Raymond As children we're insensitive. We mercilessly took the piss out of Joey Deacon, we even reprogrammed Jack Charltons Fishing to allow to catch a 14lb Lockerbie & a 9oz Challenger Space Shuttle. Kids ARE mean - Deal with it. (Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:46:16 GMT)

Raymond Apparantly "The London Look" is 1970's Transexual Drag-Queen Whore. NOBODY needs that much blue eyeshadow, ok? (Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:19:01 GMT)

Raymond Is performing an official nondestructive test on his Skullcandy Riot earbuds. Quadrophonia followed by LFO, Cope with that you buggers! Dare I subject them to Rendezvous? (Sat, 26 Feb 2011 00:58:54 GMT)

Raymond Why has McFly's bass player got plectrums in his mic stand if he wasn't even using one? (Sat, 26 Feb 2011 20:00:18 GMT)

Raymond Facebook advise you to switch to secure browsing. Guess what though? You can't use ANY apps or games thru the secure URL. How fucking shit is Facebook? (Mon, 28 Feb 2011 15:39:18 GMT)

Raymond Screw you Mafia Wars, I won't be conned into another mission I can't complete. Close Moscow, no-one cares. (Thu, 03 Mar 2011 14:16:30 GMT)

Raymond Clean
The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen
Now that I'm clean

That was a very nice refreshing shower ;-) (Thu, 03 Mar 2011 15:12:48 GMT)

Raymond Dear Barclaycard, the roller coaster in your advert is completely illegal as it only has 1 seatbelt style shoulder strap. It goes inverted & therefore should have an over the shoulder restraint. Whoever made it has never ridden a coaster in their lives ever as they'd spot that rookie mistake. (Tue, 08 Mar 2011 20:22:59 GMT)

Raymond The next series of Doctor Who will premiere over the Easter weekend.
The first half of the show's sixth run will begin on BBC One on Saturday 23 April.
The first episode will also air on the same date in the US. (Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:46:58 GMT)

Raymond Without Google, name BOTH members of the band Sparks. Bonus point for which one plays the synth & looks scary ;-) (Sat, 12 Mar 2011 23:52:21 GMT)

Raymond oooohhh! National Geographic Special on the Jack Daniels factory! Hell YES! (Sun, 13 Mar 2011 01:41:14 GMT)

Raymond To the driver of the #3 bus who drove past me at the Broadgate stop without stopping or even slowing down this morning, you're A COMPLETE & UTTER BASTARD! (Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:13:15 GMT)

Raymond In that case I'm going to write to the lead singer of Echo & The Bunnymen, "Dear Mr Echo". (Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:43:52 GMT)

Raymond I'm sorry, the answer we were looking for was Pork. (Sat, 19 Mar 2011 13:07:40 GMT)

Raymond Its cheaper to buy a packet of Tom Yum Noodles (30p, thank you Thai lady in the market) than to buy them in a tub (about 90P).. 3 for 1, 'ave it! (Sat, 19 Mar 2011 21:42:49 GMT)

Raymond Wonders who else is watching Duran Duran. Go on, admit it. ;-) (Sun, 20 Mar 2011 20:51:24 GMT)

Raymond After the warhead detonated its 50 kiloton airburst, during the blast the final thing to fall was the lamp post. It truly was the last day of Narnia. (Tue, 22 Mar 2011 00:42:26 GMT)

Raymond Dear Windows Update Process, when I stop you in Task Manager stay stopped you little PIECE OF SHIT! (Fri, 25 Mar 2011 00:35:52 GMT)

Raymond has seen the Theatrical version, the Directors cut & the Alan Smithee cut of Dune. What ever version this is on Channel 5 isn't any of those as I am seeing scenes I have never seen before. (Sat, 26 Mar 2011 15:43:20 GMT)

Raymond Firefox V3, not so much a browser - more of a CPU rapist. (Sun, 27 Mar 2011 18:33:57 GMT)

Raymond Rocky 4 fans, so you like that bit in "Hearts On Fire" where they play the "Gonna Fly Now" sting? Its not even part of Hearts On Fire, its a separate track called "Up The Mountain" by Vince Di Cola, available at last after more than 20 yrs. (Mon, 28 Mar 2011 13:16:59 GMT)

Raymond Geography in the 1980's - we were asked on a test "Why did these people move to Tristan da Cunha?" My typically 80's answer? "So The Pigs wouldn't hassle them". True Story. (Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:08:48 GMT)

Raymond This news just in, Aleksandr Orlov has just been found dead, shot in the face. Apparently executed by the Russian Mafia after failing to pay for an Internet startup business that compared Meerkats. (Wed, 30 Mar 2011 18:18:07 GMT)

Raymond is applying "The Venetian Effect". Nope, I don't know what it is either but Mike Oldfield makes it sound VERY cool on Tubular Bells 3. (Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:01:13 GMT)

Raymond Dear Greys Anatomy, after last weeks cliff hanger ending the last thing I expect you to come back with is an episode of Glee! (Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:03:43 GMT)

Raymond Yay, cheap Kindle! gotta love having Amazon vouchers ;-) (Sat, 02 Apr 2011 16:40:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear creators of the old English words Zounds & Gadzooks, Jesus WAS NOT GOD! We know education wasn't great back then but you think they'd know the difference between Jesus & God. (Sat, 02 Apr 2011 16:47:43 GMT)

Raymond Jos olet juuri kääntänyt olet Billy ei kaverit (Sun, 03 Apr 2011 16:37:38 GMT)

Raymond That feeling, its just electric! "Sorry sir, due to nonpayment that feeling has been cut off". That feeling, its a mixture of solar & windpower - Damn, its just not got the same ring. "Sorry sir, we had to repossess the ring as well" (Sun, 03 Apr 2011 22:59:26 GMT)

Raymond Just submitted my 1st story to Kasma Science Fiction ;-)
I guess that means its time to start finishing some of the others. Which to pick? (Mon, 04 Apr 2011 21:09:11 GMT)

Raymond Finished my 1st book on the Kindle, I eventually chose "Z For Zachariah". Bit of a weak ending, higher hopes for "Starship Titanic" by Terry Jones :-) (Fri, 08 Apr 2011 19:30:44 GMT)

Raymond American Football - There are 4 quarters each lasting 15 minutes. Yet the game is on tv several hours? Explain, without using the words advert or the term "low attention span". (Sun, 10 Apr 2011 12:48:23 GMT)

Raymond Fucking hell Mafia Wars, how many times do I have to click BANK before you actually let me deposit money you USELESS PIECE OF SHIT? (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 14:56:47 GMT)

Raymond The channel 5 website must be REALLY shit because its down EVERY TIME I try to access it. You think you'd be able to see The Gadget Show website. But no. (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:38:00 GMT)

Raymond So you like that music on the Heineken advert? Its by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour & its called "The Golden Age". Their Danish & she sounds awesome ;-) (Mon, 11 Apr 2011 23:33:05 GMT)

Raymond Consider changing your name to Houlden Hiscock ;-P (Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:50:53 GMT)

Raymond Has VirginMedia just increased its newsgroup retention? It used to be 7 days, I now appear to have a months worth. (Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:36:36 GMT)

Raymond Dear Harry Potter, you are NOT cool. So an owl came to your house? Big wow! Flat Stanley was crushed by a noticeboard in his sleep & went on to not only survive it but have some seriously excellent adventures. He IS cool. (Thu, 14 Apr 2011 18:10:21 GMT)

Raymond Royal Engineers Staff Sgt on Time Team "We're The Royal Engineers & we can do anything". Me watching at home "You couldn't cope with me". Made me laugh ;-) I guess in this case you REALLY had to be there. I wished I wasn't. (Thu, 14 Apr 2011 21:29:05 GMT)

Raymond Finished reading 3 men in a boat by jerome k jerome. god, its AWFUL. 3 whiny hypocondriacs who all need a damn good slap is what it should be called. (Fri, 15 Apr 2011 11:11:59 GMT)

Raymond Usenet, why are you so SLOW? I just did an online speedtest & nothing is wrong & I'm not being traffic shaped so why is Usenet so FREAKING SLOW? (Sat, 16 Apr 2011 17:46:59 GMT)

Raymond London dreams, the fear of the unknown. Of pushing the limit, of the fabled distance. London dreams, of making it to the finish. All cross the city, London dreams. (Sat, 16 Apr 2011 22:55:26 GMT)

Raymond "I'm sorry, Mafia Wars can't help you right now. Or ever. It's too busy being a useless piece of shit that won't acknowledge you've clicked a button or link" (Sun, 17 Apr 2011 01:48:15 GMT)

Raymond To all my Facebook friends, if any of you uses the SyFy forums & use Firefox 4 please let me know if you can login ok today? I am totally struggling to get a login screen. (Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:42:39 GMT)

Raymond Here have a sore throat. Screw it, I'm feeling generous. Have two. (Mon, 18 Apr 2011 14:02:04 GMT)

Raymond Is now archiving his old status updates on his blog seeing as Facebook is bloody useless and only stores so many. (Mon, 18 Apr 2011 18:14:17 GMT)

Raymond Gotta love Jools Holland live, K. D. Lang did Constant Craving & managed to fuck up the intro not once, not twice but THREE times & STILL carried on going. Bless her ;-) (Tue, 19 Apr 2011 21:47:28 GMT)

Raymond American writers, why is English so hard for you to understand? Something can't be both First AND Annual. (Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:42:17 GMT)

Raymond You know sometimes you'll watch a movie for entirely the wrong reasons even if its awful? Transylvania 6-5000 is such a movie. Worth it for Geena Davis in such a revealing costume ;-) (Thu, 21 Apr 2011 21:03:15 GMT)

Raymond To the members of PRS on Paranormal State, when you visit a client & they say they aren't religious don't look at them as though you just stepped in dog shit. Its extremely unprofessional. (Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:25:13 GMT)

Raymond Typecasting, an example - The cop who releases the Ghostbusters from jail is the same guy who plays the cop talking to Bruce Willis in Die Hard. I only just spotted it was the same guy ;-) (Sun, 24 Apr 2011 20:19:57 GMT)

Raymond So which version of Ghostbusters was it? It'll be the PG13 version, they kept the "dickless" line but cut Winston saying "I've seen shit that'll turn you white". (Sun, 24 Apr 2011 20:55:14 GMT)

Raymond Dear Harry Harrison, I've just stolen 1 of your ideas. I just couldn't resist the phrase "Topless & Bottomless Bar". PS, my versions funnier than yours. (Mon, 25 Apr 2011 12:27:10 GMT)

Raymond Dear subconscious, we've shared the same brain for 41 yrs & you REALLY don't know me at all. I would never go to a train station without checking I had enough money 1st & certainly not without going to a cash machine. (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 12:02:46 GMT)

Raymond Eventually found my glasses & case. Physics & logic dictated they couldn't have fallen more than 4ft from the chair. Found them 6.5ft away by the foot of the bed. (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 21:56:10 GMT)

Raymond Here's a trick to play on a friend or enemy. Buy a small hand mirror & hide it in your palm, go up to your victim & say "Wanna see something weird?". When they say yes (And most ppl will), simply hold up the mirror & let them see their own reflection. If ya wanna add that final "Bazinga!" then say "Weirdo!". ;-P (Tue, 26 Apr 2011 23:01:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Wills & Kate, practice proctology on your forthcoming regal nuptials. Or in laymans parlance - shove your Royal Wedding up your arse! I am SICK to death of hearing about it. (Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:34:23 GMT)

Raymond Mowed front lawn in 25 mins with no grass emptying. It wasn't THAT long then. PS, Google - You FAIL at finding useful # for Job Centre. 3 tries, none worked. (Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:44:46 GMT)

Raymond Went to the job centre, didn't need to. Went to the bank, didn't need to. Went to the Cross for a pint of John Smiths, didn't need to but it was bloody lovely. (Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:08:46 GMT)

Raymond Flt Lt Wales seems to have forgotten who pays his wages. WTF is he wearing? To the RAF guys there, if I were you I'd just piss off home if he CBA to wear his blues. (Fri, 29 Apr 2011 10:29:52 GMT)

Raymond I'll guess 2 things. 1) The miltary have told those on active service NOT to comment about Bin Laden on Social Networks. 2) Folks like Barry & Dan are elated at a good result. Well done lads ;-) (Mon, 02 May 2011 12:16:43 GMT)

Raymond So I'm 2/3's asleep & I hear this yappy dog bark near my left ear. It takes me 2 minutes to realise A) We ain't got a dog and B) I'm lying ON my left ear & shouldn't be hearing anything through it. Bizarre. (Tue, 03 May 2011 15:03:03 GMT)

Raymond Yesterday I wrote a less than than glowing review of the Kindle for Amazon. Today I got an email from a guy from Amazon called Ricardo saying how sorry he was I had such a low opinion of the Kindle. They asked me to be honest so I was, I said I didn't rate it. (Fri, 06 May 2011 20:55:49 GMT)

Raymond As Harry approached the throne his feet were tripped from beneath him, he fell, breaking his glasses. As he slowly rose he stammered "But why?". From the throne a voice said "Shut up you specky twat, Mr Stupid scar! I'm the King Of The Bastards of course" - Harry Potter & The King Of The Bastards. (Fri, 06 May 2011 23:47:02 GMT)

Raymond Todays "Did you know" - Theres a Millenium Falcon model in Bladerunner, its one of the buildings in the city skyline. (Fri, 06 May 2011 23:59:35 GMT)

Raymond Famous last words "No, I'll stick with High Wycombe. I've had a chance to get used to the idea I'm going there" - AC R.P Daley on being asked to exchange postings & go to Brampton. (Sun, 08 May 2011 18:19:02 GMT)

Raymond If UK Glee is up to the nosejob episode then they aren't far behind the US. (Mon, 09 May 2011 17:28:11 GMT)

Raymond N. You go North, the room is empty & dark. Engage Night Vision Mode. Theres nothing in the room. Listen. You hear silence. Engage Depeche Mode. Enjoy Silence. You Enjoy The Silence, somewhere many miles away Martin Gore is buying eyeliner. (Wed, 11 May 2011 14:03:00 GMT)

Raymond Today the MOD announced that due to cutbacks the immediate shutting of RAF Cloesyn Down ;-P (Thu, 12 May 2011 14:35:45 GMT)

Raymond "Theres always been a vague sexual tension between the 2 of us" Mick Foley to Chyna on TNA Impact. Funniest line EVER! (Sat, 14 May 2011 11:40:30 GMT)

Raymond So with the new Armed Forces Covenant are they going to make Armed Forces Day a National holiday as well? And is there anything for ex-servicemen as well? (Sat, 14 May 2011 22:34:50 GMT)

Raymond "Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' Badgers!" ;-p (Mon, 16 May 2011 14:45:53 GMT)

Raymond Mafia Wars friends, please dont send me any Crime Spree's. I can't accept them. (Tue, 17 May 2011 20:58:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Victoria Beckham, seriously, get some Greek friends. They'd feed the skinny right out of you. (Wed, 18 May 2011 11:55:56 GMT)

Raymond "I see dead people!". Yes mate, so do I. Its called Dads Army. (Wed, 18 May 2011 16:00:08 GMT)

Raymond "Whats he gonna do?" Jill asked looking nervous. Adam rolled his eyes, "Well lets go by what we know, he's got a chainsaw & we're in Texas. I hardly think he's going to throw a fucking garden party" (Fri, 20 May 2011 16:46:57 GMT)

Raymond "Its a nice house but its missing a few things". "A few things?". "Yeah, like walls, or a roof" . "So its a nice building site then?"."Yeah, its stunning". (Fri, 20 May 2011 17:17:38 GMT)

Raymond Wrote my 1st music review in ages, World Clique by Deee-lite. Not their greatest album, I'm looking forward to reviewing the next one though. (Fri, 20 May 2011 23:06:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, I never logged out so why were you asking me for my password? (Fri, 20 May 2011 23:07:00 GMT)

Raymond If the world IS going to end today can it least wait until Doctor Who has been on? (Sat, 21 May 2011 13:27:13 GMT)

Raymond Ooo! I just noticed its tomorrow! Unless of course I'm not eligible to be raptured. (Sun, 22 May 2011 02:42:58 GMT)

Raymond Tried to read the book of "Battle Royale", the movie is excellent but the book is REALLY shit. Am now reading "A Logic Named Joe" (Tue, 24 May 2011 12:48:46 GMT)

Raymond As part of an experiment in gullibility, Marketers showed people the cover of a nonexistant book about the adventures of a young male clay sculpter. 90% said they would buy "The Adventures of Harry, Potter". Almost none spotted the comma. (Tue, 24 May 2011 15:28:46 GMT)

Raymond Saw the smallies drilling at Halton on Flog It. It seems the RAF finally worked out that the word uniform means "all the same", regardless of gender. It means they won't have the pleasure of girls legs any more, very sad. (Tue, 24 May 2011 15:44:16 GMT)

Raymond The level of human suffering is terrible. There are, in fact, tribes in the Amazon who have no idea what an Oxo cube is. Or a Pot Noodle. Oh, the Humanity! (Wed, 25 May 2011 01:03:01 GMT)

Raymond Yay! Channel 5 have got the UK air rights to Pawn Stars, outstanding! (Wed, 25 May 2011 18:37:38 GMT)

Raymond Job application emailed, wallet discovered as left at home & not lost. Engage relaxation mode. (Fri, 27 May 2011 09:43:59 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the MOD budget is so bad the next Biggles book is called "Biggles becomes supernumary crew" ;-P (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:02:14 GMT)

Raymond If someone tells you "we don't go there" in a computer game you can guarentee you will have to pass through this region of certain death not long after being told that. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:45:01 GMT)

Raymond "In a mine!". "In a mine!" Where you wouldn't dare sing out loud like this for fear of bringing the bloody roof down on top of you. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:56:22 GMT)

Raymond Haven't been there, never done that, didn't get a t-shirt. It was too freaking expensive. (Fri, 27 May 2011 10:59:28 GMT)

Raymond Ok Americans, which Mythbusters presenter would make the best President? (Fri, 27 May 2011 11:30:52 GMT)

Raymond Finished "I Am Legend", the book isn't much better than any of the 3 movies TBH. (Sun, 29 May 2011 11:53:52 GMT)

Raymond just come back from having a pint (which turned into 3) with the one & only Trev "Spud" Taylor in the Bulls Head. (Sun, 29 May 2011 19:25:19 GMT)

Raymond It seems that despite the fact CBS said they'd cancelled Chaos it appears they are going to show the rest of the unaired episodes, Outstanding! (Sun, 29 May 2011 20:45:06 GMT)

Raymond Queen tour South America in 1980 with Fascist regimes who commit terrible acts of torture & Freddie opens with "Tie Your Mother Down"? Whoops! (Mon, 30 May 2011 21:11:34 GMT)

Raymond Irish Stew & Golden Vegetable rice. Fricking delicious! (Tue, 31 May 2011 13:41:44 GMT)

Raymond Dear Americans, the word bouy is pronounced BOY. Not Booee. The u is silent. (Tue, 31 May 2011 14:26:49 GMT)

Raymond Solid ground is called Terra Firma for a reason. The more firmer, the less terror. (Tue, 31 May 2011 14:29:23 GMT)

Raymond Jimmys parents argued about where to take their annual holiday, Mother liked the cold, Father liked the heat. As breadwinner, his dad always got his way & they went to Spain. When Jimmy was 15 the argument started again only the outcome was worse than usual. "Fuck Spain, I hate it! I'm divorcing you & moving!". A month later he got a postcard from Reykjavík & Jimmy thought "No wonder Mums gone to Iceland" (Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:01:07 GMT)

Raymond Dear Bill Murray, stop being such a dick. Do Ghostbusters 3. After all it was you who ruined the last reboot that became "Evolution" (Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:51:54 GMT)

Raymond watched The Police earlier, now watching Sting from Berlin. (Fri, 03 Jun 2011 23:36:43 GMT)

Raymond Happy to finally discover what the music from the Peugeot 308 is actually called & who its by. Flash & The Pan - Walking In The Rain (Fri, 03 Jun 2011 23:45:14 GMT)

Raymond Started & finished reading Little Brother by Cory Doctorow. Excellent book about hacking, secret police, civil liberties & freedom. Its free on Feedbooks (Sun, 05 Jun 2011 12:18:33 GMT)

Raymond One day a physics teacher is asking his class about Heisenbergs Uncertainty Principle, he asks if anyone thinks they can explain it simply. Jimmy puts up his hand "I think I can sir, but then again I'm not sure!" (Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:59:09 GMT)

Raymond Is news feed totally FUCKED or what? I'm getting ever message at least twice or 3 times? WTF is going Facebook, sort yourselves out! (Tue, 07 Jun 2011 19:36:05 GMT)

Raymond Got a Kindle in my toilet, got a Kindle in my bed. The way techs goin', in 5 yrs time I'll have a Kindle in my head! (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 16:22:25 GMT)

Raymond "How can it be? For he is the Kwisatz Haderach!". "No mate, thats the bloke who empties the bins." (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:05:54 GMT)

Raymond Jean-Luc Picard walks into a clothing repair shop & with a pair of trousers with a hole in. "Fix these please" he says. "I can't, the machines on the fritz" the owner tells him. He gets angry, points to the machine & says "MAKE IT SEW!" (Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:53:30 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, these "spammy links" you keep making me login from are your own FUCKING links. Sort your bullshit out! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:36:37 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, seeing as you decided to piss me about making me login from links I've allowed you to email me I am now no longer allowing you to email me. EVER! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:43:27 GMT)

Raymond Of all the things I miss, I miss my Blood Runners T-shirt the most. I wonder if EJ still has his (which was much better & ruder than mine)? (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 02:10:59 GMT)

Raymond You'd think a company like Bridgestone, Dunlop, Goodyear, Michelin or Pirelli were the leading maker of tyres by volume right? WRONG! Its LEGO. Yes, THAT Lego! (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 02:50:06 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, whats the point of ticking "keep me logged in" if it DOESN'T? (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 15:01:15 GMT)

Raymond Is bunker tired. Haven't been this drowsy in a LONG time. (Thu, 09 Jun 2011 15:50:02 GMT)

Raymond No my ears don't squeak, its my glasses moving. Its a bloody annoying noise though! (Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:18:45 GMT)

Raymond finished Roo'd by Joshua Klein. The evil Disney Corp lost in the end. No clue what to read next. (Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:16:41 GMT)

Raymond finished The Hunger Games in a day. Now reading the 2nd in the trilogy. (Sat, 11 Jun 2011 13:55:42 GMT)

Raymond facebook now classes the Zynga taskbar as a spamlink & will require you to login every time you use it. Avoid it by getting into Fb from google. (Sat, 11 Jun 2011 14:56:43 GMT)

Raymond thinks that whatever the cause was a full reboot appears to have stopped it. bloody odd though. we'll see what J says in due course I guess. (Sun, 12 Jun 2011 16:23:53 GMT)

Raymond With just 2 hrs left I got the final job of Staten Island to 28%. I was never going to finish, not enough time or passes. Perhaps if they'd bothered to tell us the promotion had started I MIGHT have done it. (Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:12:51 GMT)

Raymond Avast5 is currently in the doghouse for failing to pick up 9 different Malware files which are now deleted. (Tue, 14 Jun 2011 12:11:14 GMT)

Raymond still no solution to the mouse issue, its either a faulty microswitch or a bollixed mouse driver. i guess next avenue is uninstall/reinstall (Tue, 14 Jun 2011 21:18:37 GMT)

Raymond After various virus sweeps, a usb reinstall & a hardware reinstall it seems the mouse itself is faulty. Guessing its the microswitches bollixed. Easy enough to buy a new one I suppose. It didn't last very long though, just over a year. (Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:10:41 GMT)

Raymond Saw "Paul" by Pegg & Frost. You've got to be INCREDIBLY nerdy to get all the film references. In other news, I discovered I am INCREDIBLY nerdy. (Wed, 15 Jun 2011 23:41:27 GMT)

Raymond Dear Lenovo (IBM as was), WTF is the point of selling a PC with the P/S 2 socket disabled in BIOS & no mouse command in the autoexec. You fucking RETARDS! (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 13:09:34 GMT)

Raymond Job Advertisers - We get you're a bunch of cheapskate bastards who want to put as little as poss so as to pay the bare minimum for the ad but at least list the hirers post code so we can Google who the fuck we might be working for? (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:39:08 GMT)

Raymond Sucker Punch. The Pussycat Dolls remake Tank Girl on hard drugs. Worse than Watchmen. And that was atrocious. I'm not sure how it got a PG-13 rating either. (Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:36:08 GMT)

Raymond Phoned about a job in the paper, I wish they'd call a job what it is, Telesales is NOT Call Centre! That was a wasted phone call. (Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:30:08 GMT)

Raymond Number of Facebook statuses you've deleted before pressing enter knowing they were TMI? Heck, I deleted 2 before I typed this one! (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 00:05:27 GMT)

Raymond my current mouse has so many different coloured LED's in it you'd think EJ built it (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:12:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear VirginMedia, emailing me to tell me you've increased my upload speed to 1 MEG is NOTHING TO BE BOASTING ABOUT! ITS A SHIT SPEED AS WELL YOU KNOW (Sun, 19 Jun 2011 18:54:39 GMT)

Raymond The job centres favourite biweekly question is "Are you seeking work?". Lets see, its 1:16am & I just emailed off a job application. What do you think? (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:18:26 GMT)

Raymond Theres a very good reason why National Lampoon - Lemmings, Dead In Concert is so rarely seen on tv. Its because its REALLY shit. (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:13:49 GMT)

Raymond Dear Gas Servicing guy, No you didn't knock twice. All you did was mail the thing saying "no reply", thats NOT even knocking once. And according to that paper you phoned too? You lying TWAT! Consider a career in journalism, you are wasted on the Gas Fitting world. (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:01:52 GMT)

Raymond I Googled pictures of "Biscuits & Gravy". Those AREN'T Biscuits, their cookies. And Gravy should be BROWN, certainly not white! (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:28:35 GMT)

Raymond isn't normal. He's paranormal -"defying scientific explanation", sounds about right (Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:53:38 GMT)

Raymond Mein hut, er hat kein ecken. I habe keine hut ;-P A non-English joke for the school kids there. Unless of course your school never taught you that song. (Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:39:52 GMT)

Raymond Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage - The Gertrude Perkins Effect! (Wed, 22 Jun 2011 19:34:56 GMT)

Raymond Information is on a "need to know" basis. Rule 1, If you have to ask, you don't need to know. Or you were too lazy to Google. Obviously not everything can be Googled, such is life. Questions like "Is my BFF a lesbian?" or "Can I get away with this?", in those cases, refer to Rule 1. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:28:41 GMT)

Raymond In the words of The Art Of Noise, "So what happens now?" (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:48:38 GMT)

Raymond Emma Hawkins on Four Rooms. Half Dita Von Teese, half Victoria Beckham.
ALL bloody sexy! (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:12:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Fox, please make a full length version of "Scratchtasia", it sounds cool. Also open an ACTUAL Mount Splashmore. Don't make me sing the song. Because I will. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:17:32 GMT)

Raymond I can't give you the moon on a stick. Being generous I can offer you the stick. (Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:40:47 GMT)

Raymond Yay! new mouse now installed! Its a Belkin. It thinks its a chameleon, it likes changing colour all the time. Its LED central. Time to smash the LUPO to pieces! (Fri, 24 Jun 2011 15:04:45 GMT)

Raymond Dear Volvic, If that Volcano HAD just erupted all those people would be boiled in that water. Ok? (Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:13:38 GMT)

Raymond To the director who thinks he is going to remake Wargames. Kill yourself. NOW! (Sun, 26 Jun 2011 13:59:08 GMT)

Raymond Take a lot of heat, add a lot of humidity, add more heat, sprinkle in more heat & humidity and you've got the weather I just mowed our front lawn in. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 13:25:53 GMT)

Raymond It's that hot invading aliens from Mercury went home because it was too hot for them here. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 13:32:44 GMT)

Raymond Watching Minder, every time Arthur calls his nephew Raymond it don't half make me cringe. (Mon, 27 Jun 2011 20:28:17 GMT)

Raymond Dear Magners, tell Eamon to Google "Beehive". Also sack him for not knowing what one is. (Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:24:57 GMT)

Raymond The only question Google can't answer - What the hell is Whigfield saying at the start of Saturday Night & what does it mean in English? (Thu, 30 Jun 2011 12:45:00 GMT)

Raymond Just waiting for the Jarre concert to start. (Fri, 01 Jul 2011 19:52:28 GMT)

Raymond is currently attending the 2nd cyber-concert he's ever been to. Done Tori Amos in New York, now I'm doing Jean Michel Jarre in Monaco. (Fri, 01 Jul 2011 20:01:01 GMT)

Raymond was watching University Challenge, I could have beaten Edinburgh on my own. (Mon, 04 Jul 2011 19:31:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear Walkers Crinkles, Google McCoys you unoriginal twats. (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 13:17:19 GMT)

Raymond Hali, means carpet in Turkish. So Halifax - How DO you fax a carpet? (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:22:58 GMT)

Raymond At Swinderby in 3 Sqdn my bed was opposite a guy called Darryl Daley, 1 day the the D.I, comes in & shouts "DALEY!" so we stand to attention by our beds & respond "Corporal!". He just stands there & says "Fuck me, Stereo!". (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:14:24 GMT)

Raymond People say you're either a glass half full or glass half empty kinda person, personally I'm a what glass, where the hell did you get that drink from? kinda person ;-P (Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:52:33 GMT)

Raymond is currently reading Harry Potter. I assume JKR has no kids of her own otherwise she'd know if Harry attended a school in the Muggle world he'd be aware of Childline or Social Services & have the Dursleys arrested for making him live in a cupboard under the stairs for a decade. (Fri, 08 Jul 2011 11:29:13 GMT)

Raymond Hagrid said "Du bist ein Flughaven, Harry!". "I'm an airport? What drugs are you on, Hagrid?" (Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:37:57 GMT)

Raymond Dear BBC, where the fuck is the Athletics from Birmingham? Its a 2 day event, so why are you only showing it on Sunday? Its not like you have anything else on. (Sat, 09 Jul 2011 13:44:12 GMT)

Raymond Dear Peter Andre's "Here To Help", you did this EXACT same show format 7 yrs ago on ITV's "With A Little Help From My Friends". Which ripped off Challenge Anneka any way. (Sat, 09 Jul 2011 14:03:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear BBC, thanks for fucking us over & not showing the Athletics AT ALL. (Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:46:14 GMT)

Raymond Theres this religious incident where the chosen get taken up to heaven by Dinosaurs. Its called The Rapters ;-P (Sun, 10 Jul 2011 22:02:45 GMT)

Raymond "Nobody hurts themselves but themselves can't you tell?" Howling Bells, Setting Sun (Mon, 11 Jul 2011 12:15:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear Carlsberg Everest Mountaineer, according to Wiki the fastest climb up took 16hrs 45 mins & the fastest descent took 11 minutes. So unless your guys REALLY know forward planning they are going to miss their football game. (Tue, 12 Jul 2011 22:14:15 GMT)

Raymond Didn't win the Skoda Fabia VRS. DID get my name in the paper though ;-) (Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:28:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Nelson Muntz, the square root of 1 million is 1000. Google got it in less than a second. (Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:19:40 GMT)

Raymond Spotted a great goof in T2. The T1000 can't copy guns yet after morphing in the helicopter he's clearly firing the EXACT same gun he had on the motorbike earlier. FAIL! (Sun, 17 Jul 2011 01:33:51 GMT)

Raymond Google Plus is SHIT! You can't find anything associated with your "classic" account so I'm fucking it off in favour of the old look where I knew where everything was at least. (Mon, 18 Jul 2011 12:01:34 GMT)

Raymond Dear 118, If a Sergeants shout is way too loud then you are in the wrong job. Suck it up & quit being a bitch. Basic is SUPPOSED to be shitty hard. Deal with it! (Mon, 18 Jul 2011 17:28:48 GMT)

Raymond Hammer films always insisted on a very terminal ending in their titles like "Frankenstein Must be Destroyed!". Mind you I doubt "Frankenstein Should Be Kicked In The Ankles" wouldn't have sold quite as well ;-P (Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:59:45 GMT)

Raymond Strongest free wifi hotspot in Coventry City Centre? McDonalds in Cross Cheaping. (Fri, 22 Jul 2011 12:11:50 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, stop spamming me with this message "Keep your account free of spam
It looks like a spammy link posted into your address bar caused unintentional activity on your Facebook account.

Don’t worry, your account is safe and we ended the activity. Continue on for a few quick security tips." The link I clicked to get this message? The "approved" Zynga task bar. (Fri, 22 Jul 2011 13:33:28 GMT)

Raymond Thanks to Bleeding Cool's coverage of Comic Con I now have air dates for the returns of Doctor Who & The Walking Dead. And I know more about the new Alien movie. EXCELLENT! (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 08:12:14 GMT)

Raymond No matter how cool music gets, no-one is ever going to write a song called "Welcome To Prestatyn". "Welcome To Llanelli" is even less likely. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:09:59 GMT)

Raymond “Attention all beings!” Ford was the absolute centre of attention, and for at least three seconds also the centre of a micro universe which was born, grew, expanded and collapsed but had known absolutely everything about herring. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:08:43 GMT)

Raymond Sometimes when you think you've got 3 different ideas all you've actually got is the same idea written down 3 times in slightly different ways just far enough apart from each other that you can't see the other 2. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:36:33 GMT)

Raymond 7 months after writing it I finally typed up the stuff about Agrajag from the notebook, I think he is now a more fleshed out character than Douglas Adams ever considered possible. (Thu, 28 Jul 2011 21:00:34 GMT)

Raymond If this last Harry Potter book is anything like Half Blood Prince no-one will die until about the last 10 pages. I'll be honest, I'm expecting it to be shite (Thu, 28 Jul 2011 21:08:45 GMT)

Raymond Happy to report new microwave purchased & installed, testing its 1st cook now. Cornish Pasty ;-P (Fri, 29 Jul 2011 11:27:44 GMT)

Raymond Final Harry Potter finished. The first 3/4's of the book is as dull as dishwater, all the decent action is at the end. If you judge it just on that section its a good book. (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 11:22:15 GMT)

Raymond If you think the computer graphics on The Last Starfighter look primitive thats because it was THE first movie to EVER use CGI. (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:53:09 GMT)

Raymond Dear Perri Shakes Drayton. please sort your trail leg. Your technique is HORRIBLE! And Jess Ennis? Please sort your excessive lateral movement in the long jump. Its the long jump, not the side jump! (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:12:05 GMT)

Raymond Great goof in "Under Seige". All the baddies are carrying silenced machine guns. But the all the sound effects are UNSUPPRESSED guns! (Sun, 31 Jul 2011 22:32:25 GMT)

Raymond To the Air Staff Registry crew who remember "The Poetry Challenge"? Apparently its really called Tzara's hat. I bet no-one else has ever written a poem using random words from the MOD phone directory before or since ;-) (Mon, 01 Aug 2011 11:23:51 GMT)

Raymond Nice to see my knowledge of Top Gun characters & 8 Bit computers paid off in this weeks Only Forward quiz ;-P (Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:05:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear "Henry Goode", please invent a licorice that DOESN'T need scissors to open the bag. (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:08:19 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if you don't want me to enter identical statuses then update you POC! (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:10:13 GMT)

Raymond The great thing about a microwave is you can have delicious Stir Fry without having to do either of those 2 things ;-) So it needs to be renamed Spin Beep. (Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:13:47 GMT)

Raymond How to get drunk really cheaply. Wait for an insanely hot day - like today. Wait until you are insanely dehydrated - like I was. Then have 1 bottle of beer, and get wasted. (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:33:42 GMT)

Raymond Dear everywhere with "FREE" Wifi, if your server asks me for an O2 phone # (especially when I'm not even using a mobile) then your Wifi ISN'T free! Cough MDONALDS! Cough THE FLYING STANDARD! (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:38:05 GMT)

Raymond CNN, ruining the lives of OMDC Clerks since 1991. Twats! (Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:06:46 GMT)

Raymond Dear RAF Recuitment Ad, are you that strapped for cash that clerks are doing OOA Op's in NWD? Don't you issue greens any more? (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 12:01:11 GMT)

Raymond For those wondering what happened with no Penn & Teller: Fool Us yesterday on ITV, the next show will air August 27, 2011 at 8pm. So you can watch Doctor Who and then watch Penn & Teller. (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 12:12:57 GMT)

Raymond Mistake just spotted in Eragon. So Eragon fires an arrow into the baddies skull whilst facing him. Then you see bad guy with the arrow tip sticking out of his head. Oooops! What fuckwitted idiot in continuity missed that one then? (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 17:43:55 GMT)

Raymond To any of my RAF friends who've seen the Big Brother ad on 5, is that RAF Uxbridge their filming at? It kinda looks vaguely familiar. (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 19:11:33 GMT)

Raymond Dear people in the UK Kindle advert, none of you have ever owned or even used a Kindle & its blatantly obvious. Why? All of you have left it switched on, not in sleep mode. BUSTED! (Mon, 08 Aug 2011 18:49:25 GMT)

Raymond Dear Metropolitan Police, you are deploying the wrong people. SO19. And no it's not violating their rights as they've already used deadly force by starting fires. (Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:04:37 GMT)

Raymond Megahobblenobble steigerpoptastic at der weekender mit der Pet Shop Boys, duff, duff, duff! (Tue, 09 Aug 2011 15:20:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Intel, whats all this bullshit in your new advert about the 2nd generation of Processors? How quicly you've forgotten the x 86's, Then the Pentium. Then the dual core. Then the quad core. Need I go on demonstrating how bad your memories are? (Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:19:15 GMT)

Raymond Apparently according to that girl on the Twilight advert everyone who is pale & whose eyes change colour are a vampire. Best avoid the Glaucoma ward then! Most of us are photophobic & the anti-pressure drugs change your eye colour.

Perhaps explore Google for a diagnosis before assuming Vampire like the dozy bitch you are next time Bella? (Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:33:51 GMT)

Raymond Best book ever written? "Help, I Am A Prisoner In A Toothpaste Factory!". (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 12:41:54 GMT)

Raymond Yes you could be in the RAF Reserve but the regulars WILL take every chance to call you a Weekend Warrior, refer to you as "SAS" (Saturday And Sunday Soldier) & take the piss whenever the chance arises. (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:12:45 GMT)

Raymond The Royal Air Force are issuing a new directive. Every station will now be known as RAF Cloesyn Down. Just in case. (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:23:27 GMT)

Raymond "My name's Idris Elba & I'm actually fuck all to do with Hip Hop but have somehow managed to get picked to front a show about how Hip Hop changed the world" (Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:28:08 GMT)

Raymond Dear PC, screwing me over by removing the mixing device IS NOT funny. Yes, its easy enough to fix (simple reboot) but this is the 2nd thing to have crapped out in as many weeks. If you continue on this rocky road I will replace you in a fucking heartbeat you little piece of shit. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 01:13:24 GMT)

Raymond Virus sweep done, MBR threat removed. Where was it hiding? In the antivirus directory, real cute. I'm still trying to work out how it got on the system if Avast is supposed to scan all downloads. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 03:43:50 GMT)

Raymond Martin Prince on The Simpsons is actually a LOT cooler than he appears. Mainly because he knows who Jethro Tull is. If you said "He's the author of New Horse Hoeing Husbandry" then score no points. Wrong Jethro Tull. Paul Wainwright, please to be amazed that I was able to name the book he wrote from memory! (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 04:24:32 GMT)

Raymond P'Tang Yang Kipperbang, Uh! As true today as it was in the 1980's. (Sat, 13 Aug 2011 04:27:20 GMT)

Raymond Dear Google, stop sending me to the en-gb Facebook. It hasn't got my autologin details & I don't want to use it - Get the hint! Dear Facebook, fix your global link to stop spamming me on login. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 12:41:59 GMT)

Raymond Currently performing a labour of love, scanning all the images from My Friend Mr Leakey. Fortunately its not a very long book. Unfortunately theres a picture on pretty much every other page. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 15:02:28 GMT)

Raymond In a survey more people would prefer to go to Button Moon than the actual Moon. (Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:24:02 GMT)

Raymond Debunked a dream with the genuis move of going somewhere I hadn't been & caught some guy putting up scenery. Funny as fuck! (Mon, 15 Aug 2011 13:19:20 GMT)

Raymond ITV are offering you a choice. Arnie in Red Heat or Arnie in Conan The Destroyer. (Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:28:26 GMT)

Raymond Apparently the producer of Book Of Eli & Dude, Where's My Car thinks he's going to reimagine Bladerunner. Mate, I've seen your IMDB cv. You couldn't make a boiled egg if I boiled the water 1st for you. (Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:48:31 GMT)

Raymond Having a quick bit of scran then off to see Mr H to hopefully sort the Kindle. See you in about 5, Martin. (Sat, 20 Aug 2011 12:13:48 GMT)

Raymond Dear Firefox, heres a crazy idea. When I shut you down by clicking that X in the top right corner how about actually STOPPING running at that exact moment as opposed to taking another 30 seconds ? (Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:45:31 GMT)

Raymond Mystery of the Kanji tagged track solved. It was Lazy Moon by Groove Armada. I still say it sounds like Tangerine Dream (Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:28:06 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, just because that 4yo PC won't run your O/S doesn't mean its a bad PC. It means you wrote a resource hungry piece of crap O/S. (Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:22:51 GMT)

Raymond Dear Family Guy, Peter Griffin can't have a vasectomy. He's a Catholic. Or can you not remember your own characters back stories? (Thu, 25 Aug 2011 22:32:17 GMT)

Raymond To the makers of "Combat Hospital" any member of the armed forces would know better than to use a radio after finding any kind of bomb. EPIC FAIL! (Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:11:49 GMT)

Raymond Thai Chicken Soup with Lemongrass rice. Freaking delish! Oh, and Facebook. I don't need instructions on how to update my status. (Sat, 03 Sep 2011 21:19:16 GMT)

Raymond Hagrid stepped forward delivering the verdict "You're a zombie, Harry!". Ron Weasley grabbed the axe & preceded to chop his former friends head off. "Hermione's going to bloody kill me for this!" he said to himself. (Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:27:00 GMT)

Raymond Why can't I Google instructions on how to fix my scanner? FFS Agfa you don't even make the things any more so I can't even replace it. Its done well to last 8 yrs tho! (Wed, 07 Sep 2011 22:05:56 GMT)

Raymond Dear Microsoft, if I tell Windows update to stop I expect it not only to stop but to STAY stopped. If I wanted my CPU raped I'd invite Bill Gates over to fuck my computer. Not that he hasn't already been doing that for the last 25 yrs. (Thu, 08 Sep 2011 01:04:17 GMT)

Raymond Athletics - The steeplechase might LOOK easy but those hurdles are about 3ft (the height of the average humans genitals) but they dont fall when you hit them. Its not an easy event, I can tell you from personal experience. That water jump is always filthy too! (Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:43:46 GMT)

Raymond Would like to wish Michael J Fox & his Parkinsons foundation the best of luck with their Ebay sale of the Nike Mag trainers (currently going for at LEAST $4,500 per pair!). You looked great on Letterman dude! (Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:49:12 GMT)

Raymond LOVING Futurama's usage of the Battle Of The Planets theme tune. But also great sadness that almost none of its fans will probably get the reference. (Fri, 09 Sep 2011 13:17:44 GMT)

Raymond Happy birthday & thank you to Jack Daniels for the free coasters. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 10:54:42 GMT)

Raymond Has written a parody of the Bulmers advert where "My friends band" turns out to be Jedward & the guy gets bottled off the stage and it all ends in a massive bar fight. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 12:43:27 GMT)

Raymond All I can say is Torchwood fans, don't hold your breath. It certainly wasn't worth the wait & putting it over 10 shows just kicked the arse out of an already terrible overly long story. (Sat, 10 Sep 2011 15:22:23 GMT)

Raymond Counting the Microsoft way:- 1,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,2,20,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.
And this from a company of so called "professionals"? I don't know how bad the American school system actually is but at least the rest of the world knows how to count properly! (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 13:53:13 GMT)

Raymond Big push to finish the last 4 chapters. It'd be made a LOT quicker if Scanwise kept its settings the same between scans is all I can say. So much for German efficiency. (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 14:25:05 GMT)

Raymond Scanning over, OCR & proofing time! It took an hour and 46 mins to scan 4 chapters plus illustrations (Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:11:53 GMT)

Raymond To the company who spammed me sending me their current catalogue by thanking me for buying from them in 2006 do you have ANY clue how illegal it is to retain a customers details for THAT long? (Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:42:30 GMT)

Raymond Its amazing how after a week after uninstalling that USB router & its software I'm STILL finding stuff it changed without asking me. My computer would have been less ruined if I'd taken a hammer to it. (Tue, 13 Sep 2011 23:48:29 GMT)

Raymond Dear Windows, whats the point of offering me a date to restore back to, running through the entire process only to reboot & then tell me you can't restore back to that date. You useless piece of shit. (Wed, 14 Sep 2011 11:26:24 GMT)

Raymond Wickes red pencil prices. Now I know I have bad eyes but that pencil is totally NOT writing in red. (Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:15:31 GMT)

Raymond Is now having a snooze after yesterdays extremely late night/ridiculously early morning. Please speak to other brother for all queries. (Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:03:18 GMT)

Raymond Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times:
Oh the Grand Old Duke Of York, He had 10,000 men,
But that was before the military cuts & now he's only got 100.
And their all in Afghanistan for the 4th time. (Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:17:55 GMT)

Raymond Dear Facebook, if it ain't broke DON'T FIX IT! The more you change stuff, the harder it is to find it. You've changed the layout 3 times in less than 6 months. Stop being such dick heads & LEAVE IT ALONE! (Thu, 22 Sep 2011 11:08:25 GMT)

Raymond Dear Hollywood, Ryan Reynolds as a superhero? With all the complete turkeys he's been in? Don't make me laugh. Because he doesn't. Do you not remember how badly Daredevil flopped? Or Electra? Or the 1st attempt at The Hulk? (Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:53:16 GMT)

Raymond Please do me a favor and move your mouse over my name here, wait for the box to load and then move your mouse over the "Subscribed" link. Then uncheck the "Comments and Likes".

I would really rather that my comments on friends and families posts not be made public, thank You! Then re-post this if you don't want your every single move posted on the right side in the "Ticker Box" for everyone to see!

I'm posting this not only for myself, but also so that my friends and family will know to ask others to do the same if they would not like their every move on facebook noticed. Thanks! (Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:01:02 GMT)

Raymond Front garden mowed, mowing log updated. looking forward to a shower in a bit after some scran and a drink. (Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:45:06 GMT)

Raymond Hates VirginMedia's broadband traffic shaping policy. twats. Shaped to a tenth of what I'm paying for? Whats the point of paying full price then? (Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:52:58 GMT)

Raymond Now Steve Jobs is dead its about time Apple told the truth about the "Look & Feel " lawsuit they lost and alledged bribery of a judge (by Bill Gates). If the truth really DID come out Microsoft stock would be effectly worthless. (Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:16:37 GMT)

Raymond Computer History 101 - Everything Windows is, it stole from Macintosh. Who stole it wholesale from Xerox.

Admit it, You're saying "Who are Macintosh?". Unless you're Jason. (Sat, 08 Oct 2011 19:43:42 GMT)

Raymond I still can't work out who thought 6 human adults could work in the original OMDC at the same time. You got great views of the Navy girls legs through the side saloon door though ;-) Ding Dong! (Sat, 08 Oct 2011 21:01:50 GMT)

Raymond Things I know I'll never be able to do. Have a million pounds, register my bloody Kindle. (Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:58:53 GMT)

Raymond Season 2 of The Walking Dead - FX, Friday 21st October 10pm in the UK. (Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:40:44 GMT)

Raymond Spotted a MASSIVE mistake in Close Encounters. The sequence of sounds the people are singing in India aren't the tones the spaceships play. In fact the French guy has to present them edited, looped & resequenced for them to even be the tones. Who screwed up there then? (Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:22:26 GMT)

Raymond Name the tallest peak on Earth. No Googling either! (Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:43:40 GMT)

Raymond Finished reading "One Train Later", the autobiography of Police guitarist Andy Summers. Very enjoyable & quite educational for a music fan. Never knew he'd been in The Animals! Highly recommended for my muso friends. (Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:25:51 GMT)

Raymond Must be getting desparate, applied for a job where the only info was the job title. No mention of pay/hours.who its for, where it is. (Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:28:23 GMT)

Raymond From this weeks Clone Wars episode - "General Skywalker, I've turned the lights off" . Yet mere seconds later the craft is flying with its lights STILL ON. (Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:22:15 GMT)

Raymond Things my Kindle taught me:- A drongo & a galah are both types of bird! The Kindle dictionary is quite educational. (Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:15:00 GMT)

WWE Royal Rumble 2011 reviewed

2011-01-31T20:27:00.002Z

Well I heard Kevin Nash & Booker T were coming back to WWE and I fancied a good laugh so I decided to see what kind of show the 'dub are capable of these days. Couple of useless facts first, its the 24th Rumble and there are 40 guys taking part instead of the usual 30. Caveat:- I haven't watched ANY WWE programming in forever so I have no idea who works where, whose friends and who isnt and I do like a swear here and there so expect langauge you might not like.

World Heavyweight Championship match, Edge vs Dolph Ziggler - Ah, the shitty old WCW title belt WWE seems to have a MASSIVE hard-on for. Dolph, 'roid much dude? I guess WWE must have been reading my old reviews as Ziggler has finally stopped wearing Psycho Sid's old jacket to the ring.

Anyway Edge can't use the Spear or he loses his title because Vicky says so. So what was with the colour desk not calling the Sharpshooter/Figure 4 Leglock? Did they not know what it was called, because none of them mentioned it? Edge won this match off a DQ on outside interference (As soon as Vicky pulled the ref the bell should have been rung there and then, Edge had already won) and pretty much ANYTHING that happened after that can be ignored but for some reason this ref didnt know his job and allowed this farce to continue.

After a crappy ref bump & Vicky out after being attacked by Kelly Kelly who ran out to stop her hitting Edge, Edge took the eventual win off Christians finisher The Unprettier or whatever WWE are calling it. Piss poor match, even worse finish for a belt WWE really need to stop competing over.

WWE Championship match, Randy Orton vs The Miz (with Alex Riley, whoever the fuck he is) - Frankly, I am surprised The Miz is holding any kind of title let alone WWE's main belt as he is the biggest waste of oxygen on the whole roster. He is basically a slightly more annoying version of Crash Holly with less talent & even less charisma. As expected Riley interfered every chance he got but after an amble down by The New Nexus, inteference from Alex Riley which earnt him flying lessons and the GTS from CM Punk on Orton Miz retained his title in yet another piss poor finish to another piss poor match.

Divas Championship 2 on 1 Handcap match, Layla & Michelle McCool vs Natalya - Never happened. Some email bullshit from someone not there and this became another match.

Divas Championship Fatal 4 Way, Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Natalya vs Eve - I have to question Layla's skill set as she wasn't even able to sell a simple clothesline from Natalya. Very weird finish with Eve taking the win to become new the Diva's Champion despite the fact Michelle McCool had Natalya pinned behind the refs back at the exact same time. Chalk that up to be the next match for Eve.

Backstage segment - Gail Kim, how have the mighty fallen? From TNA Knockout Champion to eye candy & valet brawling in a shitty backstage segment. Was that MASSIVE payment Vince gave you REALLY worth it?

Royal Rumble - Rule recap:- 2 men start, a new person enters every 90 seconds & you can only be eliminated by going over the top rope and both your feet touching the floor with the winner going on to a championship match at Wrestlemania. By clearly stating these were the only rules allowed a LOT of fucking bullshit to take place rendering the match a total waste of time.

In at #1 was CM Punk we had a TON of bullshit, more email bullshit then #2 was finally revealed to be Daniel Bryan. Not much action before #3 Justin Gabriel entered only to be eliminated by Bryan minutes later. # 4 was Zack Ryder STILL running Grand Master Sexay's gimmick? Anyway he was also gone moments later thanks to a hiptoss from Bryan. #5 was William Regal and boy is he FAT! #6 was Ted DiBiase Jr with John Morrison coming in at #7.

Morrison was flubbing from the word go, not only screwing up his ring entrance but pretty much every encounter he had in his opening 90 seconds, Regal went out thanks to DiBiase & Morrison was stuck holding on to the crowd barrier where he had to jump onto the ring steps to get back in. #8 was Yoshi Tatsu & #9 was Husky Harris (son of Mike Rotunda aka IRS) & #10 was Chavo Guerrero. Coming at #11 was Mark Henry (and I note colour are STILL pulling that "Worlds Strongest Man" bullshit? Dude, he won ONE Arnold Classic in 2002 & it wasn't even WSM affiliated so get the fuck over it?) who dumped out Chavo in seconds & Yoshi Tatsu shortly after that.

In at #12 was JTG (wasn't he the shit half of Cryme Tyme?) followed by #13 Michael McGillicutty (son of Curt Hennig aka Mr Perfect) who eliminated JTG pretty quickly & assisted Husky Harris to oust DiBiase shortly after that. Next in at #14 was Chris Masters, #15 was David Otunga, Bryan was eliminated by Punk seconds after his entrance closely followed by Masters also tossed by Punk. Morrison went next thanks to all of The New Nexus as did Henry mere moments later.

In at #16 was Tyler Reks who was thrown out by Punk seconds after his arrival, #17 was Vladimir Kozlov also slung out by Punk shortly after his entry. Unfortunate #18 was R-Truth (he got better already after that thing on the plane?) likewise tossed out by Punk, #19 was The Great Khali and from that second it was pretty sure business was about to pick up & Punks party was about to get pissed on. Harris went out next thanks to Khali and in at #20 was Mason Ryan who tossed Khali putting The New Nexus back on track.

Coming in at #21 was TNA reject Booker T who got a little bit of offence in doing the Axe Kick, a Bookend and a Spinaroonie before being slung out by Ryan. In at #22 was John Cena who put out Ryan easily closely followed by McGillicutty & Otanga together from a duel clothesline. #23 was Hornswoggle and Cena finally eliminated Punk, #24 was Tyson Kidd who took the dive curtesy of Cena.

#25 was Heath Slater, I'm not sure why the camera truck decided not to show the Tadpole Splash 1st time but Slater took his flying lesson next thanks to Cena. #26 was Kofi Kingston. #27 was Jack Swagger still looking like Owen Harts love child, #28 was Sheamus the ginger ball gobbler & licker of HHH's arse who eliminated Hornswoggle who seriously looked like he didnt want to take that bump. In at #29 was Rey Mysterio Junior who eventually eliminated Swagger, #30 was Wade Barrett in what would normally be last man position in a normal Rumble but this year we have another ten guys left to enter.

#31 was Dolph Ziggler (in his 2nd match of the night too!) and from here on in its all uncharted territory (I'd like to say for the record I typed that before the colour guy said it). #32 was TNA reject Kevin Nash running his old Diesel gimmick so that explains why he had dyed his hair & beard brown, #33 was Drew McIntyre - yet another of HHH's bootlickers. #34 was Alex Riley as Barrett eliminated Diesel & Nash got to take a nice little pile of money home for doing pretty much fuck all.

#35 was The Big Show who tossed Ziggler, Cena & Kingston eliminated Riley in the background as this was happening but they were that busy talking to The Miz no-one called it - likewise no-one called the elimination of McIntyre by Big Show (which is INSANE considering it happened right in front of the fucking colour desk!) as the entry of #36 Ezekiel Jackson was completely ignored but he eliminated Big Show by himself. What was hysterical was The Miz was bigging up Alex Riley and no-one had even noticed he'd already been eliminated, way to pay attention colour desk!

#37 was Santino Marella (possibly one of the worst workers in WWE ever in my opinion with a god awful gimmick) who was sent out under the bottom rope, #38 was Alberto Del Rio who we spent about 57 years watching on his over rated stupidly expensive entrance. At this point I'd like to point out to the guys in the WWE camera truck that the action is in the ring, NOT THE FUCKING ENTRY RAMP!

#39 was Randy Orton (meaning technically Del Rio should be eliminated as you have to actually enter the ring in the 90 seconds otherwise you get DQ'd, it also means Santino should also be DQ'd for being out of the ring for too long) and he eliminated Kingston (Santino was still lying by the ring at this point having been out of the ring almost 3 minutes so he should have been well and truly DQ'd by this point), closely followed by Sheamus.

Lucky #40 was Kane who sent out Jackson, Kane was eliminated next by Mysterio, Barrett eliminated Mysterio seconds later. Cena was ejected illegally, Alex Riley lured him to the apron and The Miz threw him out. As Riley had already been eliminated and Miz wasn't even in the match there is no possible way in hell even with kayfabe that this elimination could count, all those referee's and not one of them saw it? For some reason the refs let the elimination stand.

Orton put out Barrett and Del Rio took advantage putting out Orton as his back was turned & Del Rio was declared winner until it was pointed out Santino had never been eliminated despite having been outside the ring for almost 12 minutes (having checked Santino was outside the ring exactly 11 minutes & 59 seconds) but Del Rio tossed Santino and was finally declared the winner.

After the farce that was this years Royal Rumble it is WAY past time all the loopholes in the rules were removed. In the late 80's a rule was introduced that if you had not entered by the time the next participant after you entered it was an automatic DQ. I think it was an event where The Macho Man did not take his place and got DQ'd for it.

Clearly this rule is now gone as Del Rio would have been out under it. No participant should be allowed to remain outside the ring (if they left under the ropes) for longer than a 10 count which should also result in a DQ. No participant should be able to be eliminated by either someone already eliminated or a non participant, this would still have left Cena in the Rumble.

An event like this does nothing for the prestige that used to be The Royal Rumble.Also FAR too much time was spent by the colour desk sucking The Miz's cock to the point that several eliminations were missed due to it.
Apparently WWE need to hire new directors as the ones employed for this particular PPV were epically failing to use the right camera's to catch eliminations instead chosing to watch either the entrance ramp or the colour desk.

This shambles of a PPV wont be any kind of incentive to watch another WWE PPV any time in the near future.

Telebugs episode list

2011-01-22T16:52:00.004Z

Using the information from Wikipedia and episode names from episodes myself and Samanthabug on Youtube uploaded I have tried to create a Telebugs episode list as no such thing currently exists online. I can't attest to its accuracy as I am unsure of the correct running order of episodes but I am going by what we have put online.

Wiki states 86 episodes were made in total, each was 5 minutes long.
The TVS website states "85 five minute episodes were made between 1983 and 1987" which makes things confusing.
* Series 1: 26 editions from 6 January 1986 - 10 February 1986
* Series 2: 40 editions from 10 November 1986 - 16 January 1987
* Series 3: 20 editions from 17 November 1987 - 16 December 1987

1 Angel Brain
2 Apple Hi
3 Fair Play
4 Jupiter Moon
5 Danger
6 Zudo Bug
7 Signal Seizure
8 Sub Snack
9 Pirate Power
10 Robocars
11 Magnetic Madness
12 Flood
13 Flight Plan
14 Lethal Lift Off
15 Professor In Danger
16 Oil Strike
17 Hijack Hijacker
18 Bank Byte
19 City Stopper
20 Telebugs Strike Back
21 Return Of Zudo
22 TV Terror
23 Complex Confusion (All episodes up to here were capped by Samanthabug & are available on her Youtube Page)
24 Digger Dumped
25 Enter The Professor
26 Zap Code

27 Space Age Snooker
28 Culture Crazy
29 Arcadia Goes West
30 Panel Panic
31 Lifo Makes Friends
32 Lifo To The Rescue
33 The Gate Of Swords
34 Battle Of The Air
35 Ordeal By Fire
36 The Lake
37 The Shrinking Cage
38 Magic Megaliths
39 Monster Mash
40 Castle Creepers (All episodes up to here were capped by gibbonduder [aka ME!] & are available on my youtube page)

41 Telesonic Rock
42 Digger Decoy
43 Tea Party
44 Disarray
45 Mulch To The Rescue (I believe these episodes were capped by Zudobug as a 2 part story arc but no longer appear to be on Youtube, I will attempt to split them back into individual parts & put them back online)

The following episode titles are known but currently not available online:-
46 Lebab Goes Ape
47 Shadow Of The Past
48 Star Venture
49 Angel Overboard
50 The Binods
51 Eclipse
52 Cosmic Castaway
53 Time Shift
54 Colussus
55 All Hail Bug
56 Bait For The BADZ
57 Brain Lock
58 Holographic Holiday
59 Palace Of Science
60 Pyramid Pyrotechnics (must come before Magic Megaliths?)
61 Flame Out
62 Peanut Icicles
63 Zombie Profs

As you can see this leaves at least another 22 episodes with unknown titles which are also unaccounted for & unavailable.

Ghost Hunters International S02E20 reviewed

2011-01-08T04:19:00.003Z

According to our title graphic the team is:-

Barry Fitzgerald - Lead Investigator
Kris Williams - Investigator
Paul Bradford - Tech Manager
Joe Chinn - Investigator
Britt Griffith - Investigator
Susan Slaughter - Investigator In Training

Kronborg Castle - Helsingor, Denmark

CAVEAT - I've no actual intention of coming back to doing reviews full time but I wanted to review this first show to see how the new group dynamic works, whether I decide to review any more of the season is a bridge I will cross when I reach it. Please note all opinions are my own and I definately do NOT work for Syfy, nor do I have any specific agendas or biases. I say what I say because its what I think based on what I am seeing on the show.

This is our 1st show back after the hiatus and it's all change in the GHI team line-up as you have already seen. Former leader Robb is gone with Barry promoted in his place. Initially Britt was going to be doing that job but he ruined his chances after making a rather foolish statement on the radio so some rapid reshuffling was done to shoehorn Barry into the leadership role.

Paul has been made Tech Manager and you have to wonder how he got that over Joe Chinn. Kris Williams was alledgedly brought in to be the case manager but its pretty clear that Susan Slaughter is still filling this role (and is WAY overdue losing her "in training" tag from the title graphic, continuing to say she's still in training when she is case manager is extremely insulting to her ability).

Barry & Kris in the Ballroom - It was pretty clear that there weren't anywhere near enough IR illuminators in this room to do the job, I'm not sure if this is down to not researching the location well enough or a lack of equipment due to budget. I can't say as I heard any of the things Kris was hearing (mainly due to our old bugbear the stupid incidental soundtrack). As per usual the first sighting of anything was off camera (and the camera guy has to take the blame and be fired over that, he had 2 people he could have filmed and he was filming neither of them).

Joe & Britt in the Royal Living Space - Considering how much emphasis GHA put on cadets with tagging rogue sounds there was a distinct lack on tagging random bangs coming from either Joe or Britt, both of whom you'd expect to know better from their level of experience. In answer to Joe's question it was just the wind howling. I also have no clue what made Joe Chinn swear (most unlike him, he is normally very level headed and unflappable).

Paul & Susan in the Dungeon - Paul had set up an experiment to document battery drainage using a multi-meter. I didnt hear the voice Paul mentioned, I'd also like to ask Susan how she saw a shadow if it was pitch black (her words, not mine!). Google matrixing dear. I didn't hear any breathing nor did I hear any footsteps (which neither of them mentioned but Susan said there were some during her piece to camera, odd that neither of them said anything during the shot).

Barry & Kris in Queen Sophie's Room - Both of them stopped prior to entering the room then claimed they saw something move which can't be substantiated in any way as the Pilgrim camera guy was WAY behind them. Score yet another point for helmet cams I guess. Whats very annoying is Kris had a camera in her hand yet the director chose to use the worst shot he had from his "useless cam" which is what the Pilgrim crew really ought to be labelled as. The sound that Kris had "no idea what that was" was clearly a door or gate, something on squeaky hinges, possibly something wooden like a chair being moved slightly.

Joe & Britt in the Dungeon - I am guessing the sound Joe couldn't ID during their EVP was dripping water, and when Britt asked "do you hear that?" all we could hear was his stomping feet as he went crashing towards whatever he thought he heard. I did hear something before Britt reacted (It didn't sound like rocks being thrown though) and I certainly didnt hear any voices but I did hear debris falling (the sound Joe reacted to by moving towards it).

Barry & Kris in the Dungeon - Which they went to after seeing some weird stuff happening there from Central Command. They did an EVP, we couldnt hear whatever they heard (incidental soundtrack strikes again).

Joe & Britt in the Chapel - I'd like to ask Pilgrim to fire whoever is responsible for putting up the location graphics as during this show they were INCREDIBLY slow off the mark numerous times and the investigators themselves were telling us their location either before or as the location graphic was being displayed. Buck your ideas up whoever you are, it just makes you seem lazy and disinterested. By this location Britt was just phoning it in, he wasn't carrying ANY equipment and he had both his hands in his jacket pockets. Britt, you do know that there are MILLIONS of fans who would kill to be in your position and there you were looking like you couldn't have cared less about investigating.

It makes me happy they fired you but frankly in my opinion they didn't do it soon enough. Why you were in line for Robbs job as GHI leader is beyond me, I have to assume that like Steve & Tango you now also have some sort of dirt on Grant or Jason that they wouldn't want going public which is how such a slacker was being suggested as GHI boss.

Britt sees some light (off camera, as per usual) then they start asking about a chandelier shaking which with no open windows is pretty odd and its the only one in the room that was moving.

Paul & Susan on the 2nd Floor - Susan thinks she sees a light anomaly, I did see it just after she said "there it goes again" and it turns out to be lens flare due to a new wide angle lens on the mini dv camera.

Everyone in the Ballroom - Testing out something called The Singapore Theory (after Googling what the heck it was) or what Brad & Barry Klinge refer to as "Era Cues", Barry did eventually explain what it was. Britt reported seeing shadows moving (nope, no cameras facing in that direction at all as usual).

The Analysis - Joe presents footage of him & Britt in the Dungeon capturing a voice saying "ok". Britt presents footage of some weird lights in the Dungeon.

The Reveal - Barry commits the cardinal no-no of citing personal experiences as evidence as does Kris. I dont care if she says Joe & Britt saw it too, if its not on tape it didn't happen - 1st law of Ghost Hunting. Footage of Britt & Joe with the shaking chandelier, whats annoying is Joe says its the only one shaking then doesnt bother to prove it which would have taken seconds. Audio from Kris & Barry in the chapel, they get a breath in answer to a question, the client thinks it says "go". Audio from Joe & Britt in the Dungeon, a voice saying "ok".

Footage of the battery drain experiment in the Dungeon, we see unexplained pulses of light. We also see the flashlight being used in the drain experiment move, the temperature rises and the EMF goes up too.

Not a great first show back with the new line-up, I was left wondering on where Scott Tepperman was too.

The Traveller

2011-01-03T19:16:00.000Z

London, 2011. The landing was easy, done with the experience of one who'd performed it so many times he could probably do it in his sleep. No, he'd better not say that out loud. Somewhere in another reality there probably WAS an alternate version of him checking reality anomalies which required landing whilst asleep.

He fired up the computer. Fantastic, this reality had Wi-Fi and an Internet. Well that would make his job that much easier and quicker. Brilliant, it even had a Wikipedia. At least it was better than that last place, heck they hadn't even had a space program so no satellites, no GPS and sadly no Internet. He'd had to do all his research in libraries, eventually locating the anomaly - Werner Von Braun had died as a baby so no rocket research. He'd been glad to leave there but London had looked so different without any Blitzkrieg, it looked old was what it looked.

"Anyway" he thought, "back to here". Dickens had lived, Kennedy had been assassinated, Von Braun here too as well as the many other names he knew to check from his previous trips. Minutes of looking became hours which became days then weeks. After 8 months he finally hit the jackpot under music. Somehow that guy was still alive in 2011! There he was, the required anomaly, large as life when he should have been long dead.

Elvis Presley, still alive and still performing when the traveller knew full well he had died in 1977. Reading further it appeared this Elvis wasn't just ONE anomaly, he was several. The third line of his Wikipedia entry read 'Born in Newport, Wales, Presley moved to Cardiff, Wales with his family at the age of 13' and then the realisation struck the traveller. This was not the superstar he had known from his own world.

Reading about Elvis he discovered that 'Jesse Garon Presley took the name of his twin brother Elvis for his stage name as a tribute to his memory after he was killed in a car crash in January of 1940'. Wow, no original Elvis and his brother had lived to replace him! For another week he left the computer program logging the various anomalies concerning the 'New Elvis' as the traveller now thought of him, his appearance at Live Aid which relaunched his career to an entirely new generation and his massive donations to many charitable organizations.

The traveller skimmed through the data, amending where necessary before a particular entry caught his eye. 'Presley miraculously survived being killed in the September 11th bombings at the World Trade Centre. It appeared he had been booked to play a short corporate gig in the Windows on the World restaurant located in the North Tower. Despite calling the venue to make them aware he was suffering from severe stomach flu Elvis promised he would perform that day. Elvis had arranged for a car to take him from his hotel to the World Trade Centre but the car had engine problems which was later discovered to be an oil leak. This incident left Presley stranded over 2 miles from his destination.'

With this final anomaly logged and appended all that remained was for the traveller to advise Elvis of his presence here and the delivery of the correct time line. After his performance at the Welsh Assembly the traveller approached Presley and presented his credentials. "I've been expecting you for quite some time" Elvis said to the traveller which threw him off balance. Presley reached into his jacket pulling out his wallet.

"Research Anomaly Division, Interception Branch" said Presley flashing him a badge the traveller instantly recognised from his training. Elvis passed him a small data device which the traveller took and inserted into his log. It informed him that in his own reality the ability to travel between parallel Universes should not have been discovered for another 200 years and that all current field agents were being recalled prior to amendment.

The traveller in turn gave Elvis his own data cube he had been compiling. Presley didn't appear to be surprised by the information. "They told me when I was hired to wait for you. I was the meta anomaly. They said I should have died at birth, should have been born in America. It was why I took my brothers name, I knew eventually you would spot the many inaccuracies. It just made it easier for me to make incursions that would lead you to me."

The traveller returned to his vehicle and logged the data cube Presley had given him. As he was preparing to jump to his own reality his screen flashed one final message from Elvis. "Thank you very much. Elvis has left this reality". The traveller jumped for the final time saddened that he would never remember this meeting as it would never have happened.

During the jump the traveller recorded his final voice log "Final jump back to reality. Apparently we shouldn't have discovered parallel Universes yet so we are all being recalled home prior to Amendment. I wonder what my new life will turn out to be. Agent Bruce Springsteen, final entry".

The End.

Dark Entries presents Julianne Regan (an English translation)

2010-12-27T14:18:00.003Z

This interview written on23/12/2010 by Didier Becu appears in its original Flemish form on the Dark Entries website here:- http://www.darkentries.be/nl/interviews/?iid=365

Using Google Translate, Babelfish & Nicetranslator as well as my own logic and common sense I have produced what I hope is a fairly decent English translation for people who dont read Flemish.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Since I've worked at Dark Entries, I have had the honour of interviewing many musicians who I looked up to, but this lady is special.

I do not know why but most of my heroes are men, but luckily I have two heroes in my life. One (Nico) is dead and the other is not gladly on the forefront and is not so fond of talking, but for Dark Entries she did it. Her name is Julianne Regan.

Even though she is modesty itself despite being awarded a title like goth icon, but the frontwoman of All About Eve (later Mice, Jules et Jim and now La Femme Verte) made many boys hearts beat faster and to this day I cherish their records next to The Sisters, The Fields and The Mission.

This but to tell you that Julianne had played a prodigious role role in musical life (and mine) and talked to us about what she was, what is and what she hopes for.

Dark Entries presents Julianne Regan.

Hi Julianne, you recently announced that you had enough of the music industry. Understandable, but in hindsight would you have done it all again to be where are you now?

I have left the music industry, simply because I am not the person for it. Some people love it for dinner in prestigious restaurants, for example, I do not .... I do not like the endless palaver about this and that. I also noticed that you are facing liars, egomaniacs compared to a decent human being to place nine idiots, or just questionable individuals. I think it's just not worth it...

But what I recently tried to do was simply to just say good-bye to the music. I noticed quite quickly that I could not, why I wanted to I do not know. ... I just think I only had to realize that you can have music without having to be confronted with that business. Should I start now I think I'd do it all again, simply because I was 19 and still that ridiculous self-belief would hold me and I would not be aware of evil in the music industry .

But I'd probably be smarter and sell my music on-line without having to do all the appearances and publicity with those terrible things that must be specific to the music industry ....

You were a journalist, Julianne. Weird because musicians hate journalists!

I tried to be a journalist. I went to college in London but after 6 months I gave up because I wanted to play in a rock'n'roll band . I've written a few reviews of performances, including some records and even a few articles but I was just too nice. I could not get it into my heart to write something negative about someone. Also, I soon noticed that when I interviewed a group I actually wanted to be a rock star.

I would have to add that I also know good journalists, and do not hate them all, there are some who are passionate and they are good at what they do ... I just hate the idiots.

I suppose you know Everett True, he was the editor of Melody Maker for years. He announced recently that journalism is dead because everyone on the net thinks they are a journalist....

It's just so fantastic, I think. It simply means that someone who has an opinion can put it on the net and we the readers, can decide whether we will read or not. Today it is no longer the journalists who extol or break groups; from the three major newspapers (NME, Melody Maker and Sounds) there is only left NME and they have lost all power. I think most people do not care about what the NME has to say any more. People are now forming their own opinions based on what others say in cyberspace.

Of course you also have the disadvantage that there are too many opinions, or people who think they know a lot about music and are spouting the greatest nonsense simply because they have a PC and Internet connection.

Julianne, you were one of the reigning goth icons. How does it feel in 2010?

Personally, I dont think I deserve the title of goth icon. When I hear that then I think people like Siouxsie, Nick Cave or Peter Murphy ...but not me. I made music with inspiration from goth, I have goth friends and I did things that were goth. ... But really in 2010, I am a middle aged woman wearing "normal" clothes and who leads a happy life and hopes that she obtains a diploma in 2012 graduating from university, to be something in the health sector.

When I was a young goth, I could never imagine that a time was coming when I was going to stop dyeing my hair or dress. ... The time has come (laughs).

All About Eve for me was a group for dreamers, people who felt a part of Mother Earth. ... Julianne least, I feel so when I listen to All About Eve.

Yes, I think you're right. I was a naive and innocent girl for a very long time. Admittedly, I felt so very happy with a rock 'n roll life but I felt attracted to things like space, nature or even the occult. There was indeed a lot of escapism which I frankly admit. As I grew older, it disappeared but now its back. I will always be the woman who gets a kick from staring at a big fat white moon. I think many people are so put together even if we get up early every morning to work so we can pay the rent.

They said that All About Eve were goth, and that is true but was it not a curse?
Take the wonderful album "Touched by Jesus", I think this album never had a chance because the media saw you as a goth band... ..

Goth is indeed both a blessing and a curse for us at the same time. Sure there were elements of goth interwoven in our music, but there were other things ... sometimes with us you had folk, blues, pop or heavy rock.

I remember very well that the American record society told us that they could not push us into a box, at one point they wanted the two of us make the new Fleetwood Mac!

I also think that the term goth is used more as time has progressed. Goth is a lot that are The Doors, Iggy Pop, Led Zeppelin, Bowie, Banshees, Cure, Dead Can Dance, Mission, Sisters, Garbage, Curve ... ..

There are many types of goth and the percentage is always different. Siouxsie & The Banshees are for example 50% goth and 50% hippy-funk.

What about Garbage? 20% goth, new wave 20%, 20% rock, 20% and 20% electro pop!
Goth is a complicated thing and regardless of the how twists and turns, it is not an exact science!

So yes, since All About Eve was seen as goth it also meant that many doors remained closed, but there were many open ... no, I'm not complaining.

After All About Eve you formed Mice with another great hero of mine (Bic Hayes). Such a brilliant group & you never got a chance.

It was indeed a pity that Mice was a flop. We made an album, I loved it and I'm still happy ...even though I regret that we never made a

second Mice CD. I thought at some point we were the ultimate line-up: Tim McTighe (brilliant pop writer, multi-musician, great bass player ... in fact Paul McCartney), Dominic Luckman the drummer of the Cardiacs was incredible ...

And yes, that Bic is without doubt one of the most intriguing musicians I've worked with ... a terribly creative person and simply a devil on the guitar. Those three were really brilliant people, real friends and people I love for all time. All for nothing. Sad.

You also made it difficult for yourself, Julianne ... then you were in Jules et Jim. Genius to use the word again, but unfortunately also a character who would not listen. Was that frustrating?

You should follow your own heart. It was an interesting experience: all the TV appearances, being on the radio, the record label that comes with their big bag of money, the overly fancy expensive studios, the limousine that came to my home to take me to the airport even when I begged them that I wanted to have a normal taxi.

And yes, they have managed to get my face on the cover of the weeklies, I even went on TV but if you reflect then there was time for the music but no spare time to yourself. Now I have time I want to occupy myself with my music but the other truth is that very few people left who will listen to me.

I know it's arrogant but when me and my friends are happy that is sufficient for me ... I need it but the fans make you. God, I hate that word "fans" so much. But it makes me happy and that's worth something....

I'm not sure you know Jo Casters, a Belgian musician. He told me that the problem in 2010 is that people will not listen ....

He's right. Jean-Marc (from The Weathermen and La Femme Verte) and I are much concerned about that and we are also forced to that conclusion. When I was younger you had to choose between music and sport and I chose music because I'm not really sporty.

But today they choose between music, computers, video games, DVD, Blue Ray, Pink Ray, Man Ray or whatever!

Music is no longer as important to people as it once was. I remember very well when a favorite group released an album then I went to the store to buy it and I played it day in and day out until I knew it, until that record had become a part of my DNA even though it was so that I just knew a song. Then you could hear no pieces on the net, you could not illegally download but the anticipation was immense.

In 2010, music has no value, not as far as the masses are concerned.

The person who will not listen to me there I'll do nothing to ....

Now you are back with La Femme Verte, Jean-Marc I suppose you would not really get?

Did you ask this question to Jean-Marc, he would certainly say that I am good at putting myself down. Whether I sing, record something, be part of La Femme Verte or whatever, I will always be somewhere in a pocket or another green light.

People who work with me know this all too well .... They are also only with such people that I want to cooperate. Jean-Marc knows me very well, I do not even know how he does without ..

Julianne being Julianne she opted for "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails which had already been covered by the legendary Johnny Cash ....

My motto of some covers: "Do not be afraid of the singers or the songs".

Once look at a track from a fresh perspective and if you really want to put yourself there then I think you have nothing to fear.

Sure, there are still people who find a better version of Johnny Cash or just would prefer the original, but this is our cover and it should be judged on our merits. It is no problem as long as you believe the words that you sing or you feel connected to them.

Did you know the covers of La Femme Verte that were chosen?

Frankly, I have a terrible memory, so let me think ...

If I remember correctly, Jean-Marc and I have had songs that we like to hear from there and we have chosen a selection. I do not remember which ... except I will sing those that I love.

There is a lot of Belgian talent on that CD. I think of Sam Devos or what did you think of Raya's version of "Enjoy the silence"?

I also love what they have done and what Sophie has done with Dark Poem. I know that here in England all ignore what is not here.

Sure they are interested in the Americans and the Swedes were popular for a period in time ... I'm not talking about Abba, but more things like The Cardigans.

The United Kingdom believes today that they are important, I find that amusing ... such arrogance that they have!

It is scandalous that they do not look further than their noses and not even look in the gardens of their neighbors because in Belgium many beautiful flowers grow when they hear music!

I ask everyone, including my heroine. What is your favorite album of all time, Julianne?

Let me think, I will take one from my youth: "Waterloo Sunset" by The Kinks, this is a perfect pop song.

A special message?

If you still can read before the year is: Merry Christmas!

Many musical discoveries in 2011 and as Shakespeare said: 'If music be the food of love, play on "... In today's language, "Music feeds love, so do not stop playing it!" xxx

Julianne Regan wanted to tell us something, and we do everything for her.

Maybe you know The Cardiacs. This is a British band that more than twenty years prog rock with a gothic touch and made more than once was cited by John Peel as one of his favorites.

The founder of this great group, Tim Smith, was recently the victim of a heart attack but the musician could not pay his medical expenses and is living on the edge of poverty. One of his fellow musicians Bic Hayes (who was in Mice with Julianne) has recorded a CD where Julianne has worked with Tim and the intention is to assist in his medical costs. Info here:- http://www.thegenepool.co.uk/items/597.htm

Dark Entries owes plenty to Julianne Regan for this wonderful interview which might present a special light on this very powerful woman who captured the imagination of everyone who was involved in goth.

Also, I would strongly like to express my thanks to both Sam Devos and Jean-Marc Lederman who made it possible that I could take an interview with my hero. Thank you, guys!

23/12/2010, Didier Becu
English Translation 27/12/2010, Ray Daley

Loom Dawn walkthru

2010-12-21T20:01:00.010Z

Using the walkthrough posted by Suicine on Escapegames24 I have added some screenshots & fixed the mistake of the switchboard switches. WALKTHROUGH created by Suicune @ Escapegames 24, screenshots by Brainisdead.
NOTE: the object of this game, is not only to escape but more importantly to restore complete light to the room!

1- everything is pitch black. navigate until you find a screen that is not completely black & click on the blinds to zoom in. pull on the green handle of the cord to open them. this will create your 1st weak source of light. zoom out.

2- turn left & click the area where the light from the window is shining down on. when zoomed in, you will see a KEY. take it then press the button on the other object thats in the shadows to turn on more lights. take a good look at these lights & memorize which are YELLOW (1 3 5 6), as it will be important later. zoom out.

3- zoom in on the new lit up area, you will see some numbers on the wall. the letters below it are not important, but MAKE SURE YOU NOTE THE NUMBERS EXACTLY AS SHOWN as they will be used soon & are not viewable when its time to use them!

526
764
381

once youve noted the numbers press the 7 & zoom out.

4- turn right. pressing that 7 has turned on a new light. zoom in on the phone. take the 1ST BATTERY from beside the phone. next, lift the receiver & press the button under it to trigger more lights. zoom out.

5- zoom in on the pink box below the phone. use your key on it to unlock it & reveal a blue sphere, which will roll away as soon as you touch it. now click on the box twice more to move it & reveal a hint with 5 numbers.

note these 5 numbers down below the 9 numbers you noted down earlier (they are used TOGETHER!) & zoom out.

6- click on the sphere that has rolled away to zoom in. click it once more while zoomed in to move it to the other side of the buttons. now, you will notice these buttons are pressable. there are 7 buttons - number seems familiar? apply the "code" from the 7 light panel in step 2 to solve these buttons (turn on buttons 1, 3, 5, and 6). when done, zoom out & turn left.

7- you will see that the 7 light panel on the floor has moved, revealing a keypad & the 9 numbers i told you to note down are no longer visible. click the keypad to zoom in & you will see you can press the 9 buttons to turn them purple. as the diagram under the pink box suggests, you need to press buttons 1, 7, 4, 3 & 2, to continue. but the catch is that they are not numbered 1-9, but instead mixed up!

so how to know which number is which? simple - apply the 9 numbers i told you to write down at the start! this makes the keypad read:

526
764
381
now just press 17432 according to that - or rather, if you dont wanna apply those numbers & wish to read the buttons as 1-9 instead, then press buttons 94672. when done correctly, a bright light will shine across the room & the 3rd wall will be explorable! zoom out.

8- turn right twice. click on the curtains to open them, letting yet more light into the room. click the desk to zoom in. click the computer to open it. click the screen to zoom in. you will see a diagram drawn on it, which represents the dialpad on the phone. memorize the path (1569832407green) & zoom out 3x.

9- go left back to the phone & enter the above code into it by pressing the appropriate numbers, incidently green is the left button. if done correctly, the numbers will slide to the left & disappear. zoom out.

10- turn left twice to face the 4th wall, which has now been lit by the magical phone number! click the device to zoom in, then click the white box on the lower left to open it. flick the switch inside & zoom out.

11- turn left, a new light has been activated near the ceiling, revealing a switchboard. zoom in & flick the bottom right switch so that it is matching all the others, then zoom out.

12- you will now see that to the left of the computer desk, a new light is shining. click it to zoom in. take the SECOND BATTERY. you may also plug in the cord, but its defective anyway & you cant take the plugged in light out yet either, but later you can. just zoom out after getting the battery.

13- click the desk again to zoom in, click the left drawer to open & insert your batteries into the device to activate it. close the drawer, and you will now see 4 symbols on the floor. memorize their order (5-point star, 6-point star, asterisk, 4-point star) & zoom out.

14- turn right & zoom back in on the wall safe. arrange the 4 colored buttons on the top as the floor code said (so it will be yellow red green blue). when done, hit the button in the middle to open the safe. obtain the FLOWER LIGHT & zoom out.

15- turn left, go back to the wall outlet (left of the desk) & plug in your flower light into the upper socket. this will really light up the area brightly & you can see that the cord i told you not to bother with isnt even connected to anything lol! the real computer cord, however, you will want to plug in. to do this, remove the smaller light from the lower socket (you can do it now since theres another light source). plug in the computer, and then click on the yellow bit of the light you just removed (its the bulb) to get the DRAWER KEY. zoom out.

16- zoom in on the desk yet again. use the new key on the right drawer & open it to get the RED DIAMOND.

17- click on the computer to zoom in (twice). now that its plugged in, you can hit the white button to the left to turn it on. click on unlock.exe & you will come face to face with the hardest puzzle in the entire game. here is a screenshot i made of the squares you have to turn black for it to work:

click start & let the animation run its course - when your character gets to the star, a robot will appear & "kill" him. a star will pop out & that is a new puzzle, but we cant solve it just yet. for now just zoom out 3 times.

18- turn right & zoom in on the wall safe again. put the red diamond into the new slot to trigger the mechanism. also, click & open the white box on the right this time (it wasnt open before the robot sequence on the computer). flick the red switch you see inside & note the numbers "060-", for they will matter in the next puzzle. zoom out when done.

19- turn left, zoom in on the switchboard (top right corner) again & see "-1734". zoom out, turn right twice & zoom in on the area where the window light is shining through. now that the 7 light panel has moved, you can see "-2619-" on the wall.

Lets put this 3 part code together, using the dashes to guide us: 060-2619-1734. looks like a phone number huh? then its obvious what to do next, zoom out.

20- turn right to return to the phone & zoom in to dial the above code of: 06026191734. hit the green button (bottom left) when all 11 numbers are input. "calling..." should now scroll across the LED. zoom out.

21- turn right twice & you will see a flickering green light in the darkness as well as hearing ringing. click it to zoom it- it is a cell phone! click to open & again to zoom in on the screen. click the screen to receive the message & click the button on the screen to send it to the computer. zoom out twice.

22- zoom back in on the cell phone - the battery has died. however, you will see a color code. blue green yellow red. remember this for later & zoom out again.

23- you can go check the mail you sent to the computer (by turning left, clicking on the computer 3x, turning it on, clicking mail.exe & clicking the mail) but its not needed to solving the game & is just a pretty picture of the night sky, nothing more.

Instead, zoom in on the door that has now appeared next to the wall safe. you cant open it yet, but you can zoom above the handle to see 4 hearts. the colours on them match the code we saw on the cell phone, but they are in the wrong order & cant be rearranged here. instead, lets try searching for something else that has the same colours - zoom out.

24- the wall safe. the 4 buttons at the top have the exact same colours! go back to it (by zooming out twice then clicking on the safe) & rearrange the colors to match what you saw on the cell phone in step 22 (blue green yellow red). now zoom out, zoom in on the doo r& pull on the handle to open it!!!! then click on the outside light & you are OUT - congrats? no!... its not over yet!

INTERLUDE
------------------------------------------------
well, congrats on solving the 1st objective of the game, escaping. this game is long, so take a breather to enjoy the outdoor scenery. when done, mouse over the pink japanese characters at the bottom right & a text will appear. read the white text & you will see that, in order to see the true form of the room, you need to turn on the main lighting system. this is the ultimate goal in this game, not escaping :-P

when ready to continue your adventure, click where it says "go back to the room" to continue where you left off.
------------------------------------------------ End interlude

25- it is VERY easy to miss, but if you pay close attention to the 1st screen after returning inside you will see white markings at the very top of the doorway! (door must be open) click that area to zoom in & see a new clue. look familiar? its a reference to the switchboard! so from top left to bottom right: down, up, down, down, down, up - & then main switch down. remember this & zoom out 2x.

26- turn left & return to the switchboard. note, you can only move the buttons IF youve seen the clue above the doorway otherwise it wont work!!! anyway:

DUD
DDU

where D-down position & U-up position. then flick the master switch to the left into the down position. zoom out when done.

27- turn left twice. you will see that now the keypad on the wall has moved up, revealing a secret compartment! if youre wondering what to do here, pay close attention to the symbols in the 2 circular alcoves. blue circle and red diamond... i think we've seen these objects before! lets go back & find them. zoom out.

28- turn left, zoom in on the wall safe to remove & RECLAIM RED DIAMOND. zoom out.

29- turn right twice, zoom in on the glowing blue sphere at the floor & click it to obtain BLUE SPHERE, zoom out.

30- turn left, insert these 2 objects into the proper slots on the wall compartment. something will appear in the middle segment. its not too clear what to do next but this is a walkthrough so dont worry! zoom out.

31- turn left, zoom in on the cell phone again & you can now pick it up (only works after the shapes are in the wall). obtain CELL PHONE & turn right then plug it into the wall compartment where you put your shapes to recharge it! it will now show 12 squares but you need to find more clues to solve this puzzle so zoom out.

32- now if you recall, you might have seen bars consisting of 3 black/white segments scattered around the room. they are:

1- by flower light- top+middle are black
2- in left white box at the wall safe- bottom is black
3- by hearts above doorknob- middle is black
4- by phone- top+bottom are black

but what is the proper order for these 4 clues? zoom in on the computer desk to see some odd markings under the right side of the window. zoom in on those. we have found the order!!! it is: wall safe, flower light, telephone, door hearts. now return to the recharged cell phone by zooming out twice, going left twice & clicking the phone.

33- arranging the 4 bars by the order listed above gives us this code for the phone puzzle:-

OXXO
OXOX
XOXO

where X-black & O-white. enter that & a purple ray will shoot towards the door!

34- go back to the door & open it. click the purple object at the bottom - it is a doorstop! this allows you to leave the door without it shutting, allowing more light to shine into the room! zoom out & turn right twice. zoom in on the small window again & pull the blinds shut - you will see the answer to the star puzzle! zoom out.

35- turn right, zoom in & turn on the computer again. go back to unlock.exe. click the star to bring up the star puzzle, & solve it with the code you just saw. now the little guy is rejuvenated & gets some revenge on that mean robot! congrats, you have finallybeaten the computer game. on the "the end" screen, click the shining star near the top. the message "the night is over" will be displayed & the ENTIRE room will be FULLY lit now!!!

CONGRATULATIONS! you have solved a nice, long game. i wish they would make more like this one, it was beautiful, & challenging!

CLOSURE
you may now explore around the room & see what its like but theres nothing left to do. you can also go back outside, but there is nothing new there. seeing the true form of the room was the end of the game, congrats!

K.O.L.M Map (all areas & rooms numbered)

2010-12-20T22:29:00.002Z

Converting an ISILO PDB Ebook

2010-12-13T18:27:00.003Z

You'd think because its a PDB format something like Calibre would convert it. You'd be dead wrong.
Isilo is an encrypted format that only appears to be a PDB file.

Simply use iSilo for Windows and use 'Save As' to create yourself a TXT text file which you can then convert into any ebook format you like.

Apparently a lot of people are looking for a solution. This is it ;-)

Paranormal State The New Class S01E01

2010-11-29T23:07:00.000Z

Before I get going on cutting this show into the awful pile it is its worth mentioning a few things.

The original "parent" show Paranormal State started out with students from Pennsylvania State University who were members of its Paranormal Research Society commonly referred to in the show as PRS.
You do have to wonder how terrible as students Ryan & his team were if they were STILL students after 5 years.

A&E have clearly decided Ryan & his team clearly aren't hitting their age demographic any more which is why I assume they have recruited a new team who are obviously a very mixed age group Apparently this team are all members of the Hoosier State Paranormal Research Team but the intro shows that some of them are also EMT's in Indiana.

The intro states John Tenney is an "experienced paranormal investigator" but I cant say as I have ever heard his name mentioned on any of the US paranormal shows I have ever seen and I have seen most of them.

Oddly enough even though the families children had been scratched by the entity they were sent to investigate they still started the investigation with all the kids in the house with them. Tenney makes a LOT of assumptions with no proof or actual facts, he also leads the group with his idea on what an EVP they caught said. You could hear nothing, they thought it said "Danielle" but Tenney got them thinking it said "Damn you".

Taking a leaf out of the Ghost Adventures tech book this group used what they called a Ghost Box, again this was done with all the family & kids present so its pretty clear this show is going for the person to person connection. Unlike Paranormal State theres no religious angle, no priests, no psychics or mediums - just plain investigating.

It'll be interesting to see exactly how this show develops over time and if its creation spells the end for PRS.

Doodle Devil devil Walk through

2010-11-25T17:52:00.002Z

The following combos will complete the game 100/100 items, 11/11 groups. They are presented in order so you shouldnt get stuck unable to make anything. Stuff can be made in different ways but all these definately worked.

man+woman=life & sex,
light+life=Angel,
human+angel=prayer,
human+prayer=heavens & religion,
human+fire=corpse & suffering,
sin+corpse=murder,
sin+religion=heresy,
heresy+human=psychology & atheism,
beast+darkness=demon,
demon+man=soul & corpse,
human+human= friendship,
fire+water=steam,
fire+air=energy,
beast+human = werewolf,
demon+water= cthulhu,
Sin+Sin=Pride,
Human+Pride=Politician,
politician+pride=war,
earth+fire=lava,
demon+order=copyright,
apple+earth=seeds,
seeds+earth=tree,mushroom & grass,
corpse+life=zombie,
copyright+knowledge=money,
money+sin=greed & theft,
human+money=work,
Sin+Work=Sloth,
Sin+Greed=Envy,
Sin+Money=Theft,
Human+Greed=Gambling,
grass+fire=tobacco,
tobacco+human=diseases,
beast+water= fish,
cthulu+fire=wrath,
heresy+religion=sect,
tree+human=food,
sin+food=gluttony,
lava+water=steam & stone,
fire+stone=metal,
human+metal=weapon,
human+weapon=blood,
blood+human=vampire,
earth+knowledge=Oil,
human+stone=house,
demon+energy=magic,
magic+stone=egg,
magic+egg=dragon,
Sin+Weapon=Wrath,
woman+magic=witch,
man+magic=worm,
worm+egg=snake,
snake+beast=hydra,
dragon+hydra=sex,
money+sex=censored,
man+life=death,
Metal+Energy=Electricity,
electricity+air=radio wave,
Fire+Death=inferno,
Air+inferno=sulfur,
water+sulfur=acid,
acid+oil=TNT,
TNT+Metal=Bomb,
bomb+mushroom=Nuclear bomb,
beast+fire=ash
Metal+Work=Mechanism,
Mechanism+Demon=tv,
TV+Book=computer,
Computer+Computer= Internet,
mechanism+computer=robot,
Computer+Life=A.I.,
AI+Robot=Cyborg,
Oil+Mechanism=car,
radio wave+computer= cellphone,
Copyright+Human=lawyer,
beast plus disease=rat
seeds+energy=coffee,
Tobacco+Coffee=Poison,
rat+air=dove,
corpse+electricity=frankenstein

Ghost Hunters S06E23 Sloss Furnace

2010-11-22T02:07:00.003Z

Please note this was NOT a review, the following was written in response to a review someone posted on the GH SyFy forum.

I must admit their reasoning is VERY questionable, all the bangs and taps were instantly assumed to be responses & therefore paranormal. Nothing to do with the fact its an old abandoned mostly open air Steel Works at night time (when metal would be cooling & contracting) and it was VERY windy so anything loose would bang and rattle.

As for K2 "conversations" being manipulated didn't I bust that a while back when I caught them shining the laser thermometer or flashlight at it to trigger it? No-one ever did confirm or deny if aiming that style of thermometer at a K2 sensor will cause the same effect as their "paranormal conversation". I note Amy is still trying to use the "flashlight method" as proof of the paranormal long after we have debunked it. Whats even worse is one of them "turned on" but it happened off camera when Amy was knelt right next to it. Nothing remotely suspicious there, is it?

And the usual complaint of bangs happening (in the tunnels) but none of the at least 3 cameras were pointing at it) Score yet ANOTHER point for helmetcams then. Even more annoying when Amy "sees something" and all we get when the slow Pilgrim dude pans round is retina burn off the IR illuminator from the bottom of the tunnel. And this children is why you DO NOT investigate in the dark. Most of the "evidence" presented was weak at best, it would have gotten you bawled out as a GHA cadet for even suggesting most of it had merit.

The shadow figure is just matrixing and the overlay they put on it is nothing like what that single still frame was as that looked like someone standing, its most likely the shadow of whoever was shooting that. I laughed that it was described as "great evidence". Jason "please dont cancel my show" Hawes, he needs money to keep his guesthouse running I guess.

Ghost Lab S02E04 Afterlife Sentence

2010-11-22T02:00:00.002Z

I wasnt going to write a full review but I noted down a few things as I watched.

As far as the stuff at the prison goes, the EVPs were so quiet and too iffy. The young guy who recorded the banging, could have been anything and anyone so it has to be thrown out.

The investigation at the residence, both the "shadow men" were really easily debunkable.
The one on Brad cam was caused by him shining his torch around his vest, really easy to fake and even easier to explain.
The one the camera guy caught in the window I'd debunk any number of ways but a crane camera outside seems to be the most likely and logical reason for that shadow moving the way it moved where it was.

The fact it even pans up trying to move out of the camera guys shot makes me think crane camera even more.

Despite the heavy EMF source that they explained they insisted everything inside was paranormal.
So nothing to do with EMF hypersensitivity then? Its jumping to conclusions like that that stopped me writing full reviews.

XP file names change from black to blue?

2010-11-21T19:24:00.001Z

It'll be because you did a disk cleanup and enabled disk compression. Those blue files are now compressed.

Shame Microsoft didnt think it was important to let you know that small pertinant fact. I thought it was a virus!

Newsgroup stats

2010-11-06T02:47:00.001Z

RSPW Stats for me.

Total # of posts since joining (on 20th March 2005) until today (6th Nov 2010) = 1989

Ghost Hunters Halloween special 2010 reviewed

2010-11-02T22:08:00.000Z

Buffalo Central Terminal - Buffalo, New York.

Tonights host is Josh Gates from Destination Truth & his co-host is Allison Scagliotti from Warehouse 13. "And for the 5th straight Halloween welcome to Ghost Hunters Live", well Josh you've been on air 15 seconds and you've already lied to us. Nice going! I guess TAPS have been reading my reviews (and my complaints) & have more than 2 people per van. Only 2 vans though, their very new and look extremely expensive.

Van 1 is carrying Jason Hawes, Grant Wilson, Amy Bruni & Barry Fitzgerald from GHI.
Van 2 is carrying Steve Gonsalves, Dave Tango, Kris Williams & Adam Berry (winner of GHA Season 2)

Hotspot walkthru, Steve gets to shake hands for a change. I dont recall the main TAPS team investigating here but the GHA cadets investigated on show 4 of Season 1 and found nothing at all.

Josh meets the special guests who are:-
Ben Hansen from Fact Or Faked (the former FBI agent)
Meaghan Rath from Being Human (a US remake of the BBC3 show)
Kofi Kingston from WWE Smackdown

Allison in the Interactive Centre.
Josh in Central Command for the camera walkthru, Jason officially announces Kris Williams will be joining GHI.

Jason & Grant in Tony Fedele's Apartment - Grant thinks he hears footsteps, Jason tags wind noise, Grant gets a thermal hit which is debunked as reflective wallpaper.

Barry, Kris & Ben on the 3rd Floor - Claims of seeing stuff during setup & in Fedele's Apartment also. Someone needs to tell Ben we dont require a running commentary. Cut back to J&G who ask for a noise & get one, too convenient. Grant is scared by a window. Grant think he saw movement at the end of the corridor, the "human" shape I thought I could see turned out to be a doorway (I think its about time some one invented a thermal camera with a zoom lens on it). We can hear a VERY loud generator, that'll be contaminating audio for the whole investigation then.

Steve, Tango & Kofi in the Trolley Lobby - Crunching through a LOT of debris, you'd think someone could have taken 5 minutes to run a broom through the areas where they thought they were going to be walking. It doesnt take a genius to figure out thats a good idea especially with the amount of glass it sounded like they were walking through underfoot. Steve shows he has zero clue about his or anyone elses personal safety by trying to access a clearly unsafe area. Steve thinks he hears a voice, they try to debunk it as an echo. Its not an echo. Kofi plugs Smackdown. Steve makes his 1st stupid bet to encourage Tango to do something dangerous. And these are the 2 guys charged with training future TAPS members?

Allison in the Interactive Centre with Amy, Jason & Grant - J&G tell us how stupid they are by continuing to investigate in the dark (demonstrating none of them have the common sense most folks are born with), Amy is on the live web chat.

Barry, Kris & Ben on the 1st Floor - Who not only have no clue we came back to them they have no clue we even left them in the 1st place. Please note Barrys graphic identified him as "GHI Lead Investigator" so I guess we now know who got promoted after Britt Griffiths got fired. Bens sticking with the running commentary, you'd think Barry would have told him better. The sound Barry can hear is the very loud generator I mentioned earlier, Kris cant understand Barrys Irish accent which doesnt bode well for their future investigations together.

Jason, Grant & Meaghan in the Main Concourse - They tried to use the K2 to have a conversation, nothing happened. Meaghan freaks out getting a K2 hit. Cut back to Barry, Kris & Ben doing something with a laser. Ben sees a light behind the camera, not very useful. Score another point for helmetcam. Lots of audio contamination from outside, I'm pretty sure that was Josh shouting for quiet.

Tango doing playback of audio evidence in one of the expensive vans then back to Allison with Amy in the Interactive Centre.

Barry, Kris & Ben on the 1st Floor - Barry asks for noises, anything would be drowned out by the stupid spooky incidental music. Again Barry asks for a noise but gets one this time.

Steve & Tango on the 3rd Floor - And we're also getting the audio from the previous location bleeding through, I guess Kofi got sent back to the showers.

Josh interviews Adam Berry winner of GHA season 2, clip of an upcoming episode with him in it from Sloss Furnace & we're told Meatloaf will be in it as well.

Jason, Grant & Meaghan in the Main Concourse - And their checking out the Ticket Booth & have the laser grid set up, Jason thinks he hears a scuffing noise like footsteps. Meaghan definately wins the 5th Wheel award as well the winner of the World Boredest Person expression.

I got about 14 mins into part 2 and lost the will to live. Here endeth the review. If anything happened after this I really dont care.
Kinda makes me wish I hadn't bothered.

I guess at least we got confirmation of Kris joining GHI and Barry becoming GHI leader anyway.

Ghost Lab S02E03 Lizzie Borden reviewed

2010-10-31T01:27:00.003+01:00

Again with the pre-credits spoilers? Did we already not decide those were a bad idea? Brad & Barry are spending the night in the Lizzie Borden House, the Lab will arrive tomorrow. One of the brothers claims he heard something shutting. During the info on the house we discover the Liz Borden rhyme is actually complete garbage and that she only hit her mother (actually her step-mother so even that part is untrue) 19 times. Not 40 as claimed in the poem. She only hit her father 11 times, nowhere near the 41 the rhyme claims. It also appears she was never proven to actually be the killer. What ever happened to "Innocent until proven guilty"?

It appears they are still being stupid about the whole point of the RT EVP Recorder, if its not being monitored in real time as well what is the point of even using it?

The Lizzie Borden House - Fall River, Massachusetts.
With absolutely no thanks to the Discovery Channel for failing to even inform us where the location was, I had to Google. Unless its not Brad & Barry investigating the location just take it as read.

Guest Bedroom - They start off with pretty intense provoking both verbally & with rather graphic projections of the murder scenes, whatever it was they reacted to I never heard over the incidental soundtrack, Brad also claims to have been kicked (he's holding his ribs so that would have been one pretty high kick). To non-Americans a Charley Horse is just your basic involuntary muscle spasm, back in the Lab they play back an EVP recorded at 20 Hertz (so right on the limit of human hearing) they claim is saying "I am not through with you". Some sounds that may be words can be made out but its just too quiet to say what they are.

There are 2 EMF spikes that coincide with the 2 pieces of activity in the room.

Back in the Guest Bedroom - Barry goes in first on his own, their intention is to do "Good Cop, Bad Cop" to provoke Andrew Borden, Lizzies father. Barry goes up back into aggressive provocation mode when Barry feels like he wasnt getting anywhere.

Night 2 with Jeff the trial lawyer brought in as a kind of Era Cues style experiment in the stepmothers room, Brad does hard provoking as usual then they move to the sitting room where Andrew was murdered. Brad provokes hard again & they think they can hear someone walking up the stairs. Back in the Lab Steve Hock presents an EVP recorded at 170 Hertz saying "You got that right" in answer to the question "Did she kill you for the money?".

Stone's Public House - Ashland, Massachusetts.
An actually graphic denoting the location would be handy Discovery Channel, again I had to use Google.

Bar - Nothing happens.

Room 22 - They are investigating as a train comes past, like thats not going to ruin any kind of audio recorded then. Once the train passes they are asking if the girls spirit plays in the halls outside the rooms then Brad freaks out & takes off after what turns out to be absolutely nothing. The difference between him doing it & Britt Griffiths doing it is Barry is actually wearing a headcam which captures everything in his eyeline which is sadly nothing. Brad thinks he saw a shadow walk into the wall. Playback in the Lab has Brad creaming himself as Barry says "I didnt see BLEEP!". Steve Harris confirms he sees the figure which I think is nothing more than a case of matrixing to be honest, the eye seeing what it wants to see.

Matrixing or not?
All I have done here is trace around what appears to be the outlines of the figure, this was a screengrab of the closeup before they added on the enhancement

Night 2, Katy on the 3rd Floor in Room 22 - Alone, again? At least this time they've only left her in a room where a child died, not where an aggressive male spirit was known to be. Unlike Hill View Manor. Katy is sharing the room with the bloodstained dress of Mary, the child spirit killed on the train tracks. Nothing happens so Katy is replaced.

Room 22 - By the Hair Bear Bunch! They take the dress outside & hang it on the porch as a train passes. Barry then thinks he sees movement at a 2nd floor window but the house is confirmed as empty, re-entering the house they find nothing in that room & there are no cameras covering the window in question. The Kings Of Impatience bail to check evidence back at the Lab where Brad finds an EVP recorded at 140 Hertz they claim is saying "Where are you?" but I think its a young female voice calling for her Mommy but its an excellent piece of evidence.

For what its worth this will also be my final Ghost Lab review, admittedly they didnt try to fake on this show but theres just not much worth saying about this show.

Ghost Hunters S06E20 The Oldest House In Georgia

2010-10-31T00:26:00.001+01:00

Old Ulster County Jail - Kingston, New York

Jason & Grant in the 1st Floor Cells, Female Section - Right away they're hearing all kinds of stuff including "footsteps on sand" according to Grant, Jason enters a cell & says he thinks the sound is coming from an airvent high in the cell wall. The metal door they hear inside the cell must be discounted with the Pilgrim crew filming from outside the cell into it allowing them to be doing literally ANYTHING behind the camera. They split up & find nothing, Grant makes an unintentional funny when he says "theres no-one else in here, right?", no Grant. Just you. And Jason. And the camera guy. And the sound guy. And god alone knows who else.

Amy & Kris in the 2nd Floor Utility Corridor - Kris freaks out about something brushing against her arm, it cant be verified as she'd already started going crazy before the camera panned up off the floor. Score another point for helmetcams. Kris also freaks out again claiming the strap of her top was tugged. I can flatly state nothing moved as the camera was on her the whole time, just a case of an overactive imagination. Back on the cell block Kris freaks out a 3rd time after claiming something touched her arm. Girly, if you are going to offer your arm and ask to be grabbed then dont be shocked when it happens.

Steve & Tango in the 1st Floor Cells, Female Section - Steve sat in a cell while Tango sat on a bench directly outside it. Tango reveals his inner narcisist. Tango asks for a bang saying they'll leave if it happens then he claims to hear "a popping sound" which I never heard. He even indicates a 2nd sound claiming it was "a little louder" when there was nothing at all happening, when they ask for a 3rd noise you do hear something metal hitting metal off camera. Thats the ONLY sound you hear of the 3 Tango claimed. Because Bert & Ernie are too stupid they have to stick to their word & leave the area just as activity is happening. Talk about asking the wrong questions.

Amy & Kris in the 3rd Floor Housing Unit - Amy claims she sees movement which Kris starts to walk towards (with nothing in her hands, no flashlight, no camera, no dvr, NOTHING), we do hear a muffled thud that Kris says "sounded like chains". So chains sound like a sack hitting concrete? They claimed to hear other sounds which left them wandering around by the cells & Amy suggests they split up. Kris sees something in Tier E, shes unable to locate or debunk it. She hears movement and J&G claim to hear the same thing 1 floor directly below them. I'm unsure as to exactly why Grant says not to chase it, isnt that the entire reason they are there?

Jason & Grant in the 2nd Floor Cells Tiers A & B - Grant claims he hears a very Scooby Doo type moan, I could only hear them walking. I didnt hear his reported footsteps either. Nor did I hear the door Jason claimed had opened.

Analysis - Tango plays what he claims is a male voice Kris & Amy caught on video, all I hear is someone very heavy sitting down or shifting their weight on a chair. I couldnt hear ANYTHING when he played the "unpleasant" sound.

The Reveal - Really this should be Jason & Grant saying "Nothing happened" but lets see how much they make up & how far they reach to pass off evidence. Jason presents the clips of Kris freaking out after her "being touched" incidents, she just looks stupid reacting to nothing at all. Audio of Kris & Amy , you cant hear anything at all in the background like they claim. The playback waveform is totally flat so its impossible but the sheriff plays along like he's heard something. Audio playback of J&G on E & F Tier, you hear 2 thuds but its useless as evidence as you have no context for it. Audio of Kris & Amy on the 3rd Floor, you can hear something - possibly an exhale. Its utterly useless as evidence. J&G play audio caught on the 1st Floor, if anyone alive can hear 2 males engaged in conversation then you have better hearing than me. I can't hear anything at all. "We caught some great evidence", a whole lot of nothing is great evidence? No wonder this show is so bad if one of the producers thinks this.

Antebellum Plantation - Stone Mountain, Georgia.
After no handshake at the prison Steve isnt a pariah here at least.

Jason & Grant in the Thornton House - They react to whats obviously the floor, they even query if it is. There are plenty more thuds which do sound a decent distance away, once Grant goes to the top of the stairs Jason has a bad case of overactive imagination hearing "a slight wind with a voice in it" and no it didnt sound like out of a horror film, it sounded dumb & hokey. Just like you in fact. Grant claims he hears speech which Jason confirms as "two syllables", they must both have super hearing as there was nothing at all. Grant asks if its Margaret and theres a knock, as the camera is on him it would have been easy for Jason or any of his crew guys to fake that.

Despite claiming "that came from the room right behind me" Jason then walks into a completely different room. Would that be to allow the Pilgrim Crew member time to vacate that room then? When he eventually does enter the room he mentioned through a side door its obviously empty. Noisy Pilgrim guy had been given plenty of time to bail. Jason hears noises above him which the cameras try to debunk by showing Grant still sitting at the top of the stairs (do Pilgrim not know we've heard of the term Pickup Shot?), when Grant eventually enters the room theres nothing there.

Steve & Tango in Slave Cabin #1 - Steve reacts to something (off camera) then Tango asks "did that chair move?" (also off camera but it wasnt moving at all when they changed shots), Steve overly freaking out at just about everything freaked out Tango who suggested they bail (Isn't this the kind of behaviour Brian Harnois got sacked for?), they were claiming they could hear hissing but neither guy left. Epic fail on Professionalism from the tutors of GHA.

Jason & Grant in the Barn - which lasts for all of about 3 seconds once Jason thinks he sees a light elsewhere so they go check it out. Look Ma, I got me that ADHD as bad as those Klinge Brothers!

Jason & Grant in the Carriage House - They are unable to replicate or debunk the cause of the light Jason saw.

Analysis - Video of a voice Steve & Tango caught in the Slave Cabin.

The Reveal - Jason mentions the mystery light from the Carriage House, video of 1 light tap they claim is 3 bangs in the Thornton House, Grant mentions hearing the name Margaret but theres nothing presented on tape. Guys you know the rules as well as we do, if its not on tape you can NOT present it to the client. Video of the noise made behind Jason that I believe was a crew member, the fact he didnt walk right into the room to check renders it useless and open to being faked.

The audio of Steve & Tango in the Slave Cabin is nothing more than someone inhaling before beginning a sentance, totally debunked and very poor if they are presenting that as actual paranormal evidence - It certainly doesnt sound like "Hey you" and you wont hear that until its suggested to you. Jason manages to totally queer the presentation of the next bit of audio by motioning to the client exactly when she's supposed to hear the sound, you can hear something but Jason just ruined its chance of being evidence by signalling it like that.

As far as my Ghost Hunters reviews go I think this is going to be the last one, you can only rag on stupid people so many times before it becomes meaningless which it has done. I may possibly review the Halloween show, we'll cross that bridge when we reach it. Its been fun doing these and I hope you've enjoyed reading them.

Right now in terms of Paranormal shows there is plenty to watch, Ghost Hunters (currently awful), Ghost Adventures (mildly bad), Ghost Lab (dire now they've decided they need to fake in every show), Paranormal State (still sticking with their overly religious approach), Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files and the return of My Ghost Story. If you can't find something you like watching amongst that lot then you must be Yvette Fielding.

Be well and have a happy Halloween.

RAF dates

2010-10-28T23:30:00.000+01:00

Attested 17th April 1990
Started Swinderby 18th April 1990
Left Swinderby June 13th 1990
Posted RAF Hereford June 17th 1990
1 week on Poole Flight,
Started P&A Course 25th June 1990.
Completed 20 week course 9th November 1990
1 week guard duty,
Posted RAF High Wycombe 19th November 1990

Ghost Lab S02E02 The Betrayal reviewed

2010-10-28T02:36:00.000+01:00

Again with the weird preview of the show then the credits run, I must say I am not a fan of this new format idea. I really dont need you spoilering the entire show before I even get to see it, whats the point? It ruins any kind of suspense level you might aim for especially with the stupid overly used incidental music.

Hill View Manor - New Castle, Pennsylvania.

Only days after Ghost Adventures did it for the second time on the Travel Channel? I think this is a really bad case of not checking what the competition are doing, if I'd been doing the show schedule I would have at least checked where Ghost Adventures & Ghost Hunters had been in the last 3 weeks and not aired anywhere if it was the same place. Airing this so close to the Ghost Adventures show just makes Discovery look like a complete bunch of amateurs who couldn't schedule the sun to come up if it were morning.

Katy in the Basement - Where according to this weeks Ghost Adventures the worst & most active spirit is. And the 2 fat Texans are leaving a slim petite woman on her own. Real Gentlemen, aint they?

Barry & Brad in Room 105 - Where nothing more active than a mentally handicapped paraplegic woman is said to be, Barry thinks he's getting touched on his arms. After another insanely short EVP session they move elsewhere. No patience at all what so ever. Katy reports (by radio) she heard what sounded like fingernails scratching the wall by her head. A door closes right in front of her, we dont get a whole shot of the door so it has to be discounted as she has a camera crew with her and they already made a point of no longer using the "nothing is faked" disclaimer message any more.

Katy says "no-one was around it" but when you see how much of the door wasn't in the shot as it shut you can see how easily it could have been faked, both the brothers try to debunk it then they go back to the Lab. Brad & Barry cream themselves over the footage & Katy points out she didnt shoot the whole door so its too easy to fake.

Night 2, Brad on the 3rd Floor Nurses Station - With Molly, a former nurses assistant who had worked at Hillview for over 20 years, she was brought in as an Era Cues experiment. At time index 16:09 to 16:12 watch something small & low to the ground move from out of the corridor behind Brad going in a straight line until it passes the camera. It happens JUST before Molly asks if Mary Virginia remembers her.

After the EVP Molly leaves & Brad comes in to join him and immediately goes off in pursuit of a shadow man, unlike Britt Griffiths on Ghost Hunters Barry is at least wearing a headcam which will have captured whatever he was looking at. See Britt, when you see something and chase it make sure you carry recording equipment so you dont look like the complete chump you always do. When Brad checks Barrys camera is turns out there was a loose wire so he caught nothing. Chump alert!

Back in the Lab they review the EVP tape & find something recorded at 10 Hertz which you can make out as "Hello" & it sounds female for sure. The following day its played back to Molly who cant confirm it as Mary Virginia. The door closing footage is played back for Candy (the caretaker), but I am stunned that no-one picked up on the moving object during the EVP with Molly.

Fort Niagra - Youngstown, New York.

The Klinge brothers are jumping at shadows during the hotspot walkthrough in broad daylight so heaven knows how jumpy they will be when it gets dark.

Brad & Barry in the Basement, Cory & Katy in the Officers Dining Hall - Both teams do EVPs and it makes a change that Katy isnt alone for the first time in her Ghost Lab tv career.

Brad & Barry in the Chapel - I told you these 2 have ADHD, they cant stay in a location for longer than a few minutes. I reckon its the same reason why Barry Klinge has so many repressed anger issues too. They had started off in the Basement at 12:25am and are here now at 1:22am so they didnt even spend an hour in the Basement. As they try provoking Cory & Katy think its gotten colder where they are.

Brad & Barry in the 2nd Floor Corridor - Seriously? Do they have ants in their pants? Are they just THAT incapable of staying in 1 location for any real period of time? Brad is provoking again and thinks he hears something (impossible to confirm due to incidental music). Back in the Lab they review the EVP where they claim the recording made at 15 Hertz says "We did not do this" but you cant hear any kind of words at all, its just noise. So they are sticking with awful quality EVP audio then. Brad uses the words "weak" and "whisper" to describe this EVP. So even he thinks its rubbish quality then.

Brad & Barry with Matt Anderson in the Vestibule - Matt was recruited for his ability to translate into French to encourage Non-English speaking spirits to communicate. Barry tries to perpetrate the worst fake ever by throwing his light over the room and claimed it had been knocked out of his hand, the director had made sure they were shooting from his headcam at the time to ensure both his hands were not visible in the shot. Back in the Lab they do playback of what I will now be calling Light Gate then they play audio caught recorded at 18 Hertz which they claim is saying "a betrayal of France" in French.

Ghost Lab S02E01 Dead Will Rise Again

2010-10-27T23:35:00.000+01:00

I must admit I honestly did not expect this show to get picked up for a second season after the harsh savaging I gave it reviewing when the first 13 shows. The last review for this show was written on Wed 13th Dec 2009 and today is Wed 27th Oct 2010 so the show has been off the air over 10 months now. Well now its back, sadly not from outer space where it would have been much better off so we will see if the format has improved and if any of the complaints I made about season 1 have been addressed in any shape or form.

My concerns were as follows:-
Tombstone Shadow man, any admission of error or apology?
Constantly jumping to conclusions.
Thinking everything is paranormal.
Awful quality EVP's.

This review will be posted on the Syfy forum for Ghost Hunters, the Ghost Lab forum & on my blog.

Gettysburg.

Barry & Brad on the battle field - They're hearing stuff pretty much right away, theres no way to confirm their "cannon shot" but it seems Discovery ARE going to persist with the stupid incindental music that drowned out any chance of hearing it. And then the credits run? WEIRD way of starting of an episode and a new season.

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

I have to report that the disclaimer stating nothing is altered or faked is no longer being used at the start of episodes. In other words its open season for faking. We actually get a very rapid introduction to some of the Every Day Paranormal members (which is a darn sight more than they got in season 1, I had to Google each team members identity back then).

The Fairfield Inn - Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

The Klinge Brothers do their initial walkthrough in a very different way from Ghost Hunters or Ghost Adventures. They are both normally toured through the location hotspots with the client telling them the claims. Here the Klinge brothers are going through alone with Steve Hock relaying the claims via radio from the Ghost Lab parked outside. Brad does a further briefing with the clients during the daytime checking more claims. Another difference is the Klinge Brothers dont do their investigations in complete darkness, there are always small light sources either set up or being carried.

Brad & Barry in the General J.E.B. Stuart Room - They start out doing an EVP then ask for activity on demand stating "theres a lot of noise, we have to know thats you" but that cant be confirmed due to Discovery & their incidental soundtrack. Showing they still suffer from ADHD they spend less than a minute in this location before deciding to move. Barry manages to sit still for the grand total of 37 seconds (trust me, I counted!) which must be an all time record for shortest time spent investigating a single location. FWIW Barry, if you went on GHA you'd be sent home having failed on the aspect of PATIENCE!

Barry in the Patrick Henry Room - Barry does an EVP in here on his own. Brad hears movement outside his room, with 2 heavy Texans plus camera crews for each of them it has to be discounted. Barry goes out to the landing have a look, theres no-one there. No shock at all. Steve reports nothing caught on camera so they go back to the Lab.

A shadow figure is found on a photograph in the 1757 Suite (probably taken during the baseline checks), it could not be conclusively recreated or debunked. They return to try out a new piece of equipment, the RTEVP Recorder or Real Time EVP recorder which relays data directly to the Lab to allow EVP's to be monitored in real time as they are recorded.

Barry & Brad in the 1757 Suite - They separate again to do an EVP, Barry claims he gets a response which when played back in the Lab (pretty much defeating the point of real time monitoring) says "Private John Riley" but its at 15 Hertz so 5 Hertz under the limit of human hearing, the playback is clearly heavily electronically processed to make it audible though. A historian does find record of an SJ Riley but his body was never found. This audio is played for the clients but they can only understand the whole thing after being told what it said.

Jennie Wade House - Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

Brad & Barry in the Basement, Katy in the Attic Bedroom (2nd Floor) - Katy gets spooked by "footsteps" that turns out to be nothing but you can hear how much the floors of the attic react when people move across them. Barry & Brad give up on their EVP (after all of about a minute if that) to go check her (have you boys not taken your Ritalin today?). Back in the Lab she plays back movement but with a camera crew with her it has to be discounted.

Farnsworth House - Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
Brad & Barry have hired 2 Civil War recreators to pretend to be snipers for an Era Cues experiment, Steve Harris is with them playing sounds of gunfire while they run through the actions without actually firing.

Jennie Wade House - Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
Katy on the ground floor, Brad & Barry in the Attic - Brad & Barry hear what sounds like a female moaning in pain, with Katy in the house it cant be used sorry. If thaey had chosen ANY other member of the team they might have been able to use that sound. One of the brothers feels movement then Katy asks the exact same thing, they think its footsteps. Back in the Lab they replay audio of movement on the wooden floors, with 3 different camera crews in the house sadly its useless as evidence. Playback of the whimper from Barrys camera audio & an EVP recorded at 18 Hertz which sounds female, like talking & crying.

Ghost Hunters S06E19 The Chopping Block reviewed

2010-10-23T02:43:00.002+01:00

Bissman Building - Mansfield, Ohio

I guess 3 vans is now going to be the Ghost Hunters standard convey, Van 1 is Jason & Grant, Van 2 is Kris & Amy, Van 3 AKA the tech truck is Steve & Tango. The standard travel pattern seems to be that Jason, Amy & Steve always drive without fail, I dont think I have EVER seen Grant, Tango or Kris driving to the best of my memory. The team are met by Britt & KJ at the location and yet again for the 3rd investigation in a row Steve wasn't introduced to the client nor was he allowed to shake hands.

Is there something medically wrong with Steve or has he fallen so incredibly badly out of favour that he's getting this kind of treatment in front of clients? Although I note Steve did get to shake hands at the end of the hotspot walkthrough. Very odd. And again I can confirm Jason has stopped making his "get digital recorders to cameras" statement so it seems my reviews HAVE made a difference thank you very much Brandy Green!

Britt & KJ in the Basement - The moon must be blue (again), J&G aren't first into the location so it seems another of my constant moans is being addressed again. Dont get used to seeing Britt on tv, he made a rather foolish & bigotted sounding statement on a radio show which got him fired from TAPS so he won't be doing GHI although it sounds like he was already filming. Distinct lack of stuff happening but KJ thought someone tugged his shirt, it didnt really help that the Pilgrim camera guy was panning around AND defocussed his lens at that exact moment.

Jason & Grant on the 3rd Floor - I did hear the distant sound that made Grant ask "What was that?" (but the stupid incidental music ALMOST drowned it out so its well past time to quit with that annoying stuff. It doesnt heighten or build suspense, it merely annoys & drowns out possible evidence. It also makes claims of faking easier to perpetrate) but I certainly didnt hear any "male voice" it just sounded like someone or something moving WAY off in the distance. Almost like it was outside in fact. I certainly didnt hear the "male voice" Jason reacted to (again, due to the incidental soundtrack being too loud). I have to discount the next sound they reacted to as it started exactly as Jason started walking & stopped when he stopped. Again these 2 split up (are they not getting on with each other any more as this is happening more often now?) so anything captured alone has to be discounted to due cross contamination.

So Grants footsteps are thrown out (as Jason was moving at the same time), Britt & KJ claim they can also hear footsteps one floor down.

Steve & Tango in the Basement - Shadows by the window are debunked as KJ causing cross contamination from outside the building so the claims of shadows in that area can be dismissed as there is a sidewalk right outside the windows.

Amy & Kris in the 1st Floor Offices - Amy thinks she heard a door move which cant be confirmed due to her being off camera at the time & the incidental music would have drowned out any such quiet sound (so score yet another point for helmetcams & another point for the removal of incidental music).

Jason & Grant in the Garage - Pilgrim were doing a bad job cutting film by making it look like J&G are either right next to Kriss & Amy as their investigating or so close as to be hot on their heels & looking like they need to be close by as backup. Jason makes an extremely vague report "something just banged into something", at least TRY to sound like you care any more. Grant thinks someone is on the balcony (note at that point he never says if he hears or sees anything, he's just extremely vague as well) & Jason hears something "scurry" but I heard nothing. Grant does later state he's hearing sounds from the balcony (were you too lazy to say that right off or hadn't you decided what claims you were going to invent at that point?). Jason thinks he sees something standing off camera (no shock there) which is then gone.

Its amazing how in less than 3 minutes these 2 have had more experiences than the entire team up to this point in the investigation. We get you are the guys who founded TAPS but trust me you've seen & heard NOTHING, dont feel you have to be inventing stuff every 30 seconds to make the show look interesting. Google "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", you might understand why you are getting such bad ratings this season.

Coming back from the break Grant thinks he sees something peeking out of a doorway directly in front of him, please note it happens as he is sitting down so he is almost certainly seeing his own reflection. Very annoying when Grant states "both of us saw figure standing there", Jason said no such thing (or least not on camera anyway) so dont be speaking for him or putting words into his own mouth. Its flippant statements like that that make us mistrust you all the more Grant Wilson. If Jason saw something I want to hear HIM say it.

Steve & Tango on the 4th Floor - I'm not exactly sure why Steve is taking an EMF base reading so late into the investigation, isnt that a very basic thing he should be doing during the hotspot walkthru? Have I just caught TAPS out in yet another basic rookie procedure? It seems the EMF spike is around the area of the elevator. You have to wonder how many of the other teams EVP's these 2 were contaminating with their stupid loud tapping. I assume the noise Tango reacted was the loud exhale (I'm guessing one of the Pilgrim guys got too near the condenser mic).

Britt & KJ on the 3rd Floor - I'm not sure what they reacted to, I could hear what sounded like dragging several times but Britt says "water dripping", I have noted Britt yet again doesnt seem to like carrying a camera as this week all he appears to have are a flashlight, the walkie talkie and an EMF meter. Was he that self assured in his getting the GHI lead job he no longer felt he needed to carry any kind of useful recording equipment? KJ reports movement (moments after he himself had just stopped walking so it was probably the floor settling), nothing is caught on the thermal (if Britt had been carrying a night vision camera as corroboration it might have helped their cause greatly as KJ was getting ZILCH on the thermal). KJ states they were seeing movement but nothing was showing on the night vision cameras so a case of matrixing or wishful thinking more likely.

Yet again Britt became the Brian Harnois Experience, chasing after something (or nothing) with nothing more than a walkie talkie, exactly what did he think he was going to record with that? Its not like this is an isolated incident either so I think I count myself lucky he has been fired, his ineptitude is beyond epic status now. Britt makes various statements which can all be discounted & ignored as personal experiences due to having nothing on tape of film. Rule #1, if its not on tape or film it DID NOT HAPPEN! He then compounds his massive howler by then stating "I wanna get something documented on tape", how do you intend to do that if you never carry a camera or recorder Britt? Does he know how much of an idiot & rank amateur he sounds like at that point? GHA cadets were sent home for MUCH less than this and yet here is a guy who was picked to be leader of GHI making GIGANTIC rookie howlers.

Personally I think Britt was WAY overdue his firing and it should have been from a cannon into the sun.

Amy & Kris in the Basement - They both report whispering which cant be confirm because (shock of shocks) the stupid incidental sound effects. AGAIN. How many more times are we going to have to tell Pilgrim about this before they pay 1 iota of attention? Same thing reported again cant be confirmed for the same reason. This is just getting dull now. Note:- The "whispering" was said to be coming from the windows near the street level. Outside contamination no doubt, throw it out. In fact when they are asking to "knock real loud for us" you even seeing people walking past another window on the street so anything they are hearing is almost certainly from outside. A sump pump frightens them, much hilarity ensues - NOT.

The Analysis - Steve plays footage of footsteps - my main issue he doesnt state which floor it is or who else is in the building at that point so its got to be thrown out, footage of an orb - again we're not told where it is other than "Camera 2" (please note that during the camera review Steve doesnt refer to ANY of the cameras by their numbers) but its thrown out as dust, audio of a noise below Kris & Amy (again we're left to guess their location when it was recorded).

The Reveal - Frankly as far as I am concerned theres nothing to reveal, lets see what the "experts" think shall we? A brief discussion about shadows, Grant cites his personal experience in the Garage (where he mistakes his own reflection for something paranormal), shadows from the Basement are debunked, audio caught by Kris & Amy from the 2nd Floor (which wasnt shown on camera) which sounds like a heavy door slamming in my opinion, extremely rubbish audio of Grants footsteps that I still say were Jason or his camera crew in the other room, audio of a voice caught by J&G in the garage - its great that the waveform where they claim the audio happens is a complete flatline so its seems like yet again the client was prebriefed as to what he was supposed to be hearing. Audio of footsteps near a static camera on the 1st Floor, with people in both the Basement AND 2nd Floor its something you have to throw out as possible cross contamination.

Not a great show this week, but its been worse than this which means (you hope) it can only improve.

On a side note it appears we now have to sign into Blogger separately so if you want to use it you have to sign into Google then Blogger and it appears you have to sign into Blogger EVERY time which is as annoying as hell. I wonder when they changed this as you used to be able to log into Google which allowed Blogger access as well.

Whats with the double logins required?

Ghost Hunters S06E18 Time To Get Touched reviewed

2010-10-16T02:38:00.001+01:00

Thurber House - Columbus, Ohio

Oh no, Shaggy & Scooby are BACK! I guess GHA is all done shooting as the TAPS resident idiots have returned to the fold, Steve & Tango are back on the team. Sadly. And guess what, my complaints paid off! Jason has stopped saying his pointless & stupid statement about getting digital recorders to cameras. It seems that insulting someones intelligence does work then.

Jason & Grant in the Dining Room - Some actual debunking was done, I was surprised they didnt try to run up the stairs to compare & contrast the 2 different sounds. As far the clock popping open I'm not going to read anything into it, they were fiddling with it earler and it JUST happened to pop open as the Pilgrim camera guy had just gone past it? Fake? You decide. Please note the clock pops open off camera so any of the rest of the crew could have easily interfered with it & the camera mans "Oh my god" reaction sounds really underwhelmed & totally contrived. Whilst debunking Grant pretty much confirms the fakery when he said "It takes a good amount of force" so it was done by a human then.

Kris & Amy in The Parlor - I heard something that caused them to go upstairs.

Steve & Tango in the Dining Room - No clue what "movement" Steve reacted to, all I could was the clock ticking & the stupid incidental music & effect track. I certainly didnt hear the "shuffling" Tango reacted to either. I did note Tango fiddling with the "static" dvr camera they had placed on the table to monitor the clock, I wonder what he was doing to it?

Amy & Kris in the Gift Shop - I didn't hear the "popping sound", kinda hard to heard ANYTHING over the stupid incidental music it was THAT loud.

Analysis - Steve plays Tangos "Shuffling" which just sounds like one of the camera crew shifting his bodyweight on the wooden floor. Short playback of the clock footage.

The Reveal - They explain the debunk of the footsteps on the stairs, playback of Tangos "shuffling" which sounds even more like one of the crew moving, footage of the clock - amazingly the camera guy isnt actually very close to it. No-one is touching it but it looks VERY staged especially combined with the camera guys awful "reaction" acting. Its hard to explain but I'm sure given enough time it can be proved to be the fake it appears to come off as.

Canfield Casino - Saratoga Springs, New York

I did note on both investigations when meeting the client neither time was Steve allowed to introduce himself or shake the clients hand. Is he in the doghouse?

Jason & Grant on the 3rd Floor, Walworth Mansion - Grant finds a weird EMF reading by a wall then we hear a thud off camera (very convenient), which when they enter the room they suspect it came from sounds exactly like J&G walking on the wooden floor. Grant claims he heard a male voice then we got another thud. Grant shows he does know how to tag "that creak was me" but that "creak" sounded exactly like the previous 2 thuds so the sound is pretty much busted as human. I am still trying to decide if Jason stamped his foot seconds before he claimed to hear that final loud thud he described as feeling the floor move.

Steve & Tango on the 3rd Floor, Red Bedroom - After moving out of the room Tango thinks he hears chimes (I heard a couple of thuds which was probably just them or the crew but no attempts were made to tag any of them). As Steve plays around with the DVR he asks Tango if he tapped him, its great that Steve has so little trust in Tango.

Kris & Amy on the 3rd Floor, Walworth Exhibit - Kris cant make any claims about her hair as it happened off camera so has to be discounted, if its not on tape so it didnt happen. You know the golden rule girls.

Analysis - Steve getting tapped footage, playback of the voices J&G claimed to hear.

The Reveal - Grant explains the weird EMF reading, audio of the voices J&G claimed to hear (frankly the sounds are so quiet they could be anything), audio of the lamp chimes which you can bearly hear caught by Steve & Tango, video of Steves bad acting pretending he is being tapped. This is stupid, its just footage of one guy reacting to nothing. They also played the footage of Kris adjusting her hair, another stupid bit of tape of someone reacting to nothing at all.

These 2 investigations have got to have been 2 of the worst shows ever to have been aired by the Ghost Hunters franchise. I am starting to think they just want to make themselves look purposely bad or stupid. Surely no-one who has been in the paranormal field this long is this inept? With this kind of thing happening pretty much every week now you have to wonder how much longer Pilgrim will continue to fund the show or how much longer Syfy will continue to air it.

Even when shows are truly awful there will still be die hard fans sticking by them but when the show only has 8 people a week left watching it what will be the point of it any more?

Ghost Hunters S06E17 Grammer School Ghosts reviewed

2010-10-09T22:58:00.001+01:00

Milton School - Alton, Illinois.

This week KJ is home doing personal stuff so Joe Chinn is filling in for him. As per usual Jason started with his customary completely useless "lets get digital recorders to all cameras" statement which by now even he must realise makes him sound like a complete tosser. What you're asking to be done would be done during camera setup so stop saying it. You're an IDIOT.

Jason & Grant in the Girls Shower Room - Everythings back to normal then, J&G back as 1st team into the site. The "voices" they were hearing sounded mostly like water dripping to be honest.

Jason & Grant in the Boys Shower Room - The bang you heard after Jason turned the light off sounded like a bulb popping or a breaker switch flipping if I am honest, nothing paranormal. The fact it came so closely after he turned those lights off is too coincidental, their attempt to replicate & debunk it was laughable. Those lights had clearly been on for a while (why weren't they killed during the lights out sequence, more proof if you need it that TAPS is getting lax & sloppy) so were probably hot which contributed to the noise they made when turned off. I have no clue what sound they were hearing which made them radio the other 2 teams even though Britt said he heard it (It also proved all 3 teams were in the location giving MAJOR possible causes of cross contamination to each others investigations).

Joe & Britt in the Boiler Room Hall - After Joe says "Just listen" (@ 13:49) can anyone else hear childrens voices singing WAY off in the distance, it happens & neither guy reacts to it or appears to hear it. It happens JUST before they hear the clumpy footsteps above them. I didnt see any of the light movement they were reporting, it didnt help that the Pilgrim camera guy shooting it had the world shakiest hands so was shifting around a lot. Britt reported that it had been "leaning up against" then took off down the corridor, was it a coincidence he lost it JUST as he walked past a wooden ladder leaning up against the same wall where he'd seen it. Well done Britt, you just mistook a fricking LADDER for a ghost you bone head! And you are supposed to be the top guy in line to head Ghost Hunters International?

Jason & Grant in the Boys Shower Room - Again. I didn't hear either of the sounds when they were doing the EVP, I did hear the bang (more exploding bulbs?). Please note when they went to check there was an old electric lamp (#1 suspect right there) and their IR illuminator (#2 possible suspect imho) as well as a light fixture above the doorway (another possible culprit).

Kris & Amy in the Girls Shower Room - Amy stayed in the Girls Showers while Kris went off to the Boys (I assume J&G had either left or were investigating elsewhere by this point, either way its a messy way to edit the show making it look like an Investigator is going off to join 2 more Investigators who are already in the location shes going to). Amy reckoned she heard 2 knocks, I didnt hear anything.

Joe & Britt in the Girls Bathroom Hallway - I didnt hear any of the noises these guys reported. Also Britt demonstrated his complete ignorance of tagging by slamming open a toilet door then not telling Joe it was him making a noise. I assume the "moan" they heard was what i thought sounded like someone inhaling heavily. I would like to point out that yet again Britt wasn't carrying a camera, just a digital voice recorder - not really a whole lot of good for any visual sightings. If TAPS can afford a new van then they can certainly afford cameras for all the investigators.

Jason & Grant in the Gymnasium - nothing really happened, they did a bit of debunking on the catwalk & by the window.

Kris & Amy in the Boiler Room - I heard a few noises but nothing that you wouldnt expect from an old building at night when its settling. I felt when Kris shut the Boiler Room door that there might be something about to happen as it felt like a rather contrived (and incredibly stupid) thing to be doing. Amys personal experience was exactly that but at least she proved even she thinks the Pilgrim camera crews are utterly ineffectual.

Analysis - Britt plays the footsteps he & Joe caught, Amy plays Britt & Joe getting "shush"'ed but its thrown out as a possible clothing noise.

The Reveal - Footage of the light bulb pop that spooked J&G, audio only of the other light bulb pop that spooked J&G - Grant tries to point out sparking which is masked by IR lens flare. Unsurprisingly the Pilgrim camera guy was filming J&G and NOT what they were looking at. Score another point for helmet cams. Footage of the heavy footsteps Britt & Joe caught in the Boiler Room Hall, they just sound like another investigator - they are WAY too heavy to be anything but human. Audio of the something loud J&G caught that Britt also heard, I assume this noise was masked by the Pilgrim sound effects as I never heard it when they were doing the actual investigation.

As far as missing stuff my "voice singing" after Joe says "Just listen" and before Britt asks "Did you hear that" is DEFINATELY there, i copied off the audio and hiked up the volume and discounting the incidental music you can hear a voice very definately singing just off into the middle distance, its obviously not THAT far away as the cameras picked it up yet no-one caught it at all?

Please note, after analysing the bang J&G heard in the Boys Shower Room it was clearly made by Jason who dropped something on the floor. If you watch his shadow you can clearly see an object (shape looks like a walkie talkie) leaving his hand & hitting the floor. It happens JUST after time index 17:53 moments after Britt radios them. Also please note how the camera crew cut Jason out of the shot allowing him to drop the object.

Really annoying that a possible great piece of evidence was overlooked and that they had to pull this stupd fake to make the episode seem better than it was. Attached is my recorded audio of the ghostly singing, see what you think?

Attached File(s)

ghost singing.mp3 (147.78K)

my thoughts on Celebrity Paranormal Project

2010-10-07T02:02:00.013+01:00

I'm watching these at the moment and to be honest they look a little too good to be true.

Episode 1, several times we had "blurs" running past static cameras which just looked like they had been applied in post production. The jury is out on the shadow of the little boy.

Episode 2, we had a thermal hit that definately looked added on after the fact as well as the "motion blurs" the dude from Survivor caught in the Operating Room. I'm not sure if his camera light going out was a work or just a useful coincidence.

Episode 3, The 1st thermal hit from the 2 women looked WAY too defined. The fact it moved as well, its just felt way too much like a special effect. As far as the electric chair sequence they just went crazy on adding things to make it seem scarier than it was, the whole "cant raise main base on the radio" was so not believable. As far as the section in the wardens office they just went mad doing "motion blur" and "apparitions" when he was reading the list.

Episode 4, their 1st thermal hit was shot too closeup to make out. The other problem being a member of the camera crew was clearly standing where they were getting the thermal hit. You saw there were bats in the tunnels so a lot of movement & noise can be explained away there. The moving "shadow masses" around the girl by the chalk board (after she screamed) were definately added on after the fact. This & episode 2 were shot in the same location.

Episode 5, Nothing at all seemed to be happening in the Shredder Room. I think it was just the female boxer jumping at every shadow & noise, likewise in the Picker Room too. Heck she was just jumping at her own shadow, a real coward for a boxing champion.

Episode 6, As far as the bell "ringing" I'm not convinced it wasn't staged because there was never a long shot showing the bell just hanging and no-one near it. The only time it was shown ringing was a really tight close-up & Egert really didnt seem THAT scared. For the "Wooden Lucy" summoning the "mists" were clearly added on afterwards. I cant really comment on the mannequin that fell during Ernie Hudsons EVP session as the zoom-in masked any signs of possible tampering with the dummy. This & episode 5 were both shot in the same location.

Episode 7, I rather like the little message telling you this was the 1st episode filmed and it had taken them a year to decide it was ok to air it as it was so dramatic. From the pretty stupid stuff they were asking the guests to do (especially asking a woman to go somewhere alone) it shows this was the "Lessons Learned" pilot that all the rest of the shows wese based on as they make sure in every other show all the investigations are done in teams of 2. The whole "possession" sequence felt way to contrived, the reactions of the others wasn't intense enough so it just came off like it was rehearsed.

Episode 8, Another unique episode in that there were only 4 celebrities & they were 2 sets of couples. Locking the guy in the hotbox was just plain stupid & unsafe, then making him turn his radio off was complete insanity. Likewise locking the girl inside the Death Row cell was equally stupid. This is an abandoned prison thats been out of use for over 20 yrs, closing any metal doors is a really bad idea. As far as bad faking the "darkness" & motion blurs after the "Execution" were both clearly added on in post production, you cant really comment on the ghost bell ringing as there were no cameras setup near it so any of the crew could have been ringing it. This & episode 3 were filmed in the same location.

Ghost Hunters S06E16 Lemp Mansion reviewed

2010-10-02T02:49:00.002+01:00

St. Louis, Missouri - Lemp Mansion.

This week I'm going try not to be so "anti" towards the team members, they will only incur my wrath if they do something stupid. I'll put wrath on standby now then ;-P

Ok, a few points 1st. It looks like 3 vans is now going to be the standard transport format. Frankly I do think it's incredibly wasteful, theres clearly space for Kris & Amy in Jason & Grants van and there would still be space for equipment as well and if you look in the Tech Truck behind Britt & KJ its not as though what they are carrying is piled high behind them so theres clearly equipment space there too.

So on behalf of the planet in general & the enviroment specifically PLEASE sell the new truck, YOU DONT NEED IT!
I'd also request for Jason to stop saying "Lets get digital recorders to those cameras" after the camera set-up is explained. Its INCREDIBLY annoying that you have to say it every week without fail & its also incredibly pointless as all digital recorders should be positioned when camera setup is being done. I know its one of your beloved spiels but its a pointless and superfluous statement. Britt knows how to do setup, he doesnt need you telling him his job.

Jason & Grant in Frederick's Room - What a surprise, the founders of TAPS are the first team into the building! I guess there must have been a Blue Moon during the last show when Britt & KJ got in first then? Jasons "black space", its totally pointless you reporting something that only you can see. The camera guy was totally in the wrong position (no shock there) so yet another point in favour of the long overdue helmet cams. In fact from now on everytime a helmet cam would have caught something I'm going to say so.

As far as Grants K2 going crazy, its not really any use because they were constantly cutting between cameras. If you are going to shoot the K2 doing that then shoot it over either Jason or Grants shoulder in a continuous shot otherwise its just not anything that can be counted. Plus if you are going to do a K2 "conversation" then there needs a 2nd K2 to be scanned around the general area of the 1st to make sure there are no wild localised fluctuations causing it. Its been established that the K2 can be made to activate "on command" at the keying of a walkie talkie, this is another reason why you need to include J&G in the same shot as the meter. Its WAY too easy to fake.

Britt & KJ in the Office - I heard their "groan" I would have said more like a whisper & to be honest it sounded way to much like it was one of the film crew, you also have to be suspicious if neither Britt or KJ even considered asking ANY of the crew with them "Was that you?" so I am throwing that piece of evidence out right now.

Kris & Amy in the Basement - More claims of seeing stuff off camera so thats 2 more points in favour of helmet cam. I never heard the noises they reported either.

Jason & Grant in Frederick's Room - Again? Why? You've investigated this location once already & you clearly said to the client there were "so many places in here" you wanted to check out. As plumbers they should be used to bad smells, they should also be able to put up with bad smells & be able to find them as I am sure that unblocking drains & sinks must be part of their job. So I am also thinking this whole "they're plumbers" gimmick is precisely that. As far as analysing smells surely they must have equipment that tests gas particles as part of their plumbing job so you know your not entering a hazardous or potentially toxic enviroment?

Britt & KJ in the Atrium - I never heard the sound from the Hallway they reported (which they discovered was a piece of flooring at the room entrance), I'd be likely to say it was the floor settling as neither guy had been sitting down that long & I know from personal experience of a very creaky floor in my own room that wood can take a good long time to settle before it stops making noise. Whatever made them run into the next room (Its Britt & KJ - The Brian Harnois Experience!) I never heard any mumble, just what sounded like traffic noise outside.

Jason & Grant in the Lavender Suite - I've noted over the last few weeks Jason & Grant seem to be splitting up more & more often, then Grant just happens to have a voice whisper "Atlantis" in his ear. Which Jason then claims he asked an entity to communicate with Grant, when he tries it again with the word "comet" which Grant also heard. Wow, these bad faking claims are just getting into the realms of Most Haunted now.

Britt & KJ in the Basement - I never heard the "answer" when Britt was asking for a knock although I heard what sounded like feet shuffling just before KJ asked about Julia.

Kris & Amy in Lewis Lemps room - Which for some reason SyFy/Pilgrim decided not to put up an identifying graphic label for so it was left to the girls to tell us where they were. Lots of lightning & thunder outside so any EMF or K2 hits on tonights show have to be thrown out. We also had a case of one team contaminating another which debunked a creaking door (way to go Britt & KJ yet again!).

Analysis - Amy Bruni debunks Grant hearing Jasons "messages" as not being caught on tape or camera, KJ replays the weird audio from the office, Britt replays audio that Kris & Amy caught.

The Reveal - Whatever audio that Kris & Amy caught (you cant hear anything at all) which the client says sounds like a whoosh, she must have super hearing. The "groan" in the office Britt & KJ caught is clearly one of the metal chairs being pushed along the wooden floor, its such an obviously easy sound to debunk. Reviewing the footage with J&G made that a lot clearer to pick up what caused it.

Again Grant presented a personal experience they had no actual tape of (their seeing shadows) as well as the "K2 conversation" which I already threw out for being too easy to fake due to good editing & walkie talkies. You cant present Grant smelling something as evidence, the fact neither guy was able to track that down makes me very suspicious.

Frankly its gotten to the point where Amy & Kris are the 2 most scientific minded members of this particular show. Britt is just practically phoning it in every week now, it seems he has gotten a lot lazier, carries almost no recording equipment at all & is WAY too excitable. It appears to me that now he knows he is getting the lead job on GHI he has just stopped caring though it does appear he & KJ have replaced Steve & Tango as the TAPS comic relief.

Jason & Grant just do not seem to care if anyone respects them or believes them, what was the point in taking years to establish TAPS as a trustworthy source only to screw it all up by becoming Karl & Yvette Fielding, the people they hate the most. Its sad that they are now only in this for the money, if they can afford to buy a hotel then they really dont need to be appearing on a badly faked tv show any more.

Ghost Hunters S06E15 reviewed

2010-09-28T01:45:00.001+01:00

I actually wasn't going to review this episode at all, it started out as a few thoughts but became more of a review so here goes.

Rose Island Lighthouse - The "childs voice" audio, probably a seagull cry.
KJ's opening door. It was already open, I am guessing he opened it when the camera was on Britt fiddling with the other door which would have masked the sound of him opening that too, all he did was stand with his back against the doorknob until Britt gave him the correct verbal cue to let him know the Pilgrim Cameras were on him then he just moved forward. Clear case of faking there IMHO.

As for their thermal hit? Seagull again most likely, its big enough if the wings were open. This is why investigating in the dark royally sucks big time. Yet again Grant managed to queer the reveal by pre-revealing his "mama" audio thereby implanting that idea into the clients mind. Note his cop out too "If you notice both of KJ's hands are on the camera" but it makes no difference because the door had already been opened by that time Grant! And we note the Pilgrim Camera guy was doing a nice bit of blocking between the ETC equipment and KJ's position at the door. Also note which group of 2 it happened to, the group involving the one guy who is going to know where ALL the cameras are going to be because he set them up - Britt.

The Baseball Hall Of Fame - Wow! It looks like they've been reading my reviews, Britt & KJ were 1st investigators into this location. So J&G aren't as greedy and power mad as we think then? I have no clue why Britt ran after whatever he saw, its not like he had ANY recording equipment of ANY kind, all he appeared to be carrying were a flashlight & walkie talkie so he wasn't going to be capturing any evidence with them was he? "I ran down to see if it was another investigator" erm Britt, thats PRECISELY what your walkie talkiie is for. He is just screwing himself out of the GHI leaders job constantly week after week now isnt he? As far as I am concerned if he does get that job he is going to have zero credibility when he starts it.

I heard Jason & Grants weird noise (too tough to describe) but didnt hear the door Kris & Amy claimed had opened. As per usual all the movements Britt & KJ were reporting were all happening in the opposite direction from where the cameras were facing. Why is this still being allowed to happen? Destination Truth have now fully established that helmets cams can & do work, isn't it WAY past time they sacked the faking overly noisy Pilgrim camera crew and gave the TAPs members helmet cams, it would eliminate so many ways they could fake then. I certainly heard no scream.

As far as the noise Britt reacts to, its very squeaky, almost like sneakers on marble. You did see the Pilgrim camera guy on one knee with them so if he shifted his foot even slightly I reckon you have your cause/source right there. I found it hilarious that not only did Grant present Britt & KJ chasing nothing he also showed footage of nothing happening in another room. So thats nothing and nothing yet you are actually presenting it to the client? You would scream at GHA cadets if they pulled this kinda stuff.

I dont think Jason & Grants "weird noise" can be explained as either normal or paranormal,and Britt & KJ's audio which for a change actually they couldn't explain what was being said.

Ghost Hunters S06E14

2010-09-18T21:33:00.001+01:00

Again this week we're back to 3 vehicles with Jason & Grant in 1, Amy & Kris in another and Britt & KJ in the tech truck. KJ is back from where ever he vanished to last week as it wasn't mentioned. At least TAPS has addressed one of our longest running safety issues/pet peeves of people driving & using the walkie talkie at the same time as Jason & Amy had the walkies & neither were driving, so does this reflect a change in their attittude to road & personal safety or have US traffic laws been beefed up recently?

Concord's Colonial Inn - Concord, Massachusetts.

It seems yet again this week they are going to continue using the term ETC (which consists of thermal, ultraviolet & infrared cameras all together) without explaining what it actually stands for as Britt used it during the camera setup briefing.

Jason & Grant in Merchants Row - I think I now know another reason why these 2 idiots are always first into every location, its not that they founded TAPS, I noted they also both have Producer credits on the show so its nepotism as well as selfishness. Their 1st spot was "someone walking", as per usual cameras were on them & not what they were looking at. Yet another of our frequent complaints about the show. The 2nd spot was exactly the same, camera facing the wrong way looking at Grant, not where Grant was facing. Guys these kinds of claims are pointless unless we see what you are seeing, its the basic rule - If its not on film or tape it never happened so dont bother chasing it because you just make yourselves look like complete cretins. As far as the sound happening right on cue thats WAY too staged as to have been real.

Amy & Kris in the Liberty Room - I liked the girls trying to logically debunk the top hat dude & I certainly heard whatever it was after Kris said "Is there anybody here with us" which turned out to be a door opening or closing which they debunked after walking a few corridors away. Possible cross contamination from another crew inside at the same time?

Britt & KJ in Room 24 - I didnt hear the scratching they reported but I did hear movement after Britt asked for the door to be shut & they'd leave. As far as the door shutting I dont trust it 1 iota because Britt walks next to it, the camera cuts away to the room for several seconds then the door is closing as Britt is pretending to not notice it then pretends to be scared by it (2 of the worst bits of acting ever IMHO Britt and you just ruined ANY credibility GHI might be getting from you leading them).

The "footsteps" or movement they hear after reopening the door has to be discounted as the Pilgrim camera guys, quite frankly I was hearing them moving in every setup during the show and thought it was EXTREMELY bad practise that none of the TAPS personnel were tagging those squeaks as camera crew movement. You can't have your cadets in GHA being taught to tag every rogue sound then not do it yourselves in real world investigations otherwise your cadets are better trained that you are.

"Or close any door for that matter" and yet again Britt was loitering by the door off camera just before they cut to it closing on him with more bad "reaction" acting from him. And yet again Britt used the term ETC without explaining what it stood for, I am guessing Electronic Thermal Cameras?

Jason & Grant in the Liberty Room - For a few moments there I thought they were going to make us guess what fricking room they were in before they finally decided to insert the graphic saying which location it was. Better late than never I guess. Heckle and Jeckle werent much use on that front either. Jason was getting K2 hits off a wall so probable cause of Fear Cage Effect there explaining why people get creeped out in that room? I didnt hear the knocking Grant reported.

Jason & Grant in Room 27 - I have no clue why the camera suddenly panned up just before Jason mentioned "footsteps", I couldnt hear them either nor did I hear the noise from the Hallway that Grant reported (knock or creak he said) with his super hearing. I did hear the movement that stopped Jason by the stairs (which was probably him walking & making the floor creak) but without knowing EXACTLY what Grant was doing you have to throw it out. I didnt hear any moaning which is what he claimed it was.

Jason & Grant in Room 24 - They moved into here after failing to find the source of their moan & the main door was fully open as before when Britt & KJ were in there, Jason was laying face down on the bed & Grant was in a chair. What they DID appear to prove was the door is weighted and WILL shut once it starts moving (just look at the way it closes as Jason has to nudge it open again with his elbow to allow Grant space to get through it but Grant also has to push it so its clearly a VERY heavy door).

Amy & Kris in Room 24 - I guess it was only fair the girls came in here too so everyone got a bite at this particular cherry. Again these 2 took similar positions to Jay & Grant, Amy sat on the bed & Kris sat in the chair (which was shown to be mere feet away from the "self closing door"), I heard what sounded like an exhale which caused them to ask "Did you hear that" seconds later however Kris said it was knocking so I guess the exhale was one of them (again, no tagging. This is why it needs to be done).

Britt & KJ at the Front Desk - Yet again Britt proved he really should NOT be getting the job of GHI Leader by telling KJ to put up a flashlight to do the very thoroughly debunked "flashlight trick" which by now the whole world must know is caused by nothing more ordinary than electrical arcing and nothing vaguely paranormal yet they continue to try and pass this off as proof of hauntings. I have no idea what caused the noise after KJ asked "Do you stay here because you cant leave". At no point was ANY attempt made to debunk the power surges reported by the client.

Britt & KJ in the Liberty Room - They moved here after hearing the weird noise they describe as "like a bucket being dropped".

Britt & KJ in Merchants Row - I didnt hear the newspaper or footsteps sounds that were reported here, all I could hear was an air conditioner (probably just very bad audio due to volume levels being hiked up so high on the audio recording equipment which commonly causes noises like that when its turned up too high to pick up very quiet sounds a long way away). I heard the metallic drag sound that made them go into the kitchen. For what its worth those big trays piled up close behind the door make that exact noise when dragged across the floor.

I note that although one team did pass through it (Jason & Grant after hearing moaning from downstairs) no-one actually investigated the claims from the Hallway. Jason made a really big unintentional funny by saying "I'm looking forward to going over the evidence in the next few days", yeah?When was the last time you ever did evidence analysis?

Analysis:- Amy debunks some headlights in a mirror for Britt, you can barely hear the door Amy captures on tape.

The Reveal:- Jason tells his first lie when he says "We investigated all the locations", You didnt investigate the Hallway or if you did you didn't do it on camera so way to screw your trustworthyness already dude. The "door" audio clip is insanely quiet but just audible, it was debunked as those white double doors opening however I did note neither Jason or Grant showed the clip of the girls debunking which door it was which I found a little suspect. Why wouldn't you show that to the client so he can confirm or deny tif that particular set of doors does or doesn't make those kinds of noises too.

Unsurprisingly Jason & Grant presented the "flashlight trick" as actual evidence which just shoots their credibility completely to pieces. As far as the "moving door" footage goes it is too badly cut & too poorly presented, I would need to see it running from at least 10 seconds before where they presented it to the client as I want to know what Britt was doing whilst the Pilgrim cameras werent pointing at him. Without seeing the tape in its entireity it can't be presented as useful conclusive evidence. The client tries his best to support them by saying the carpet keeps the door open but every clip of the door closing proves otherwise.

Ghost Hunters S06E13 reviewed

2010-09-09T16:03:00.000+01:00

I guess TAPS must have gotten a bigger budget from either Pilgrim or Syfy as they seem to have bought or inherited a new 3rd van? Either that or they've decided they just dont want the women travelling in the same vehicle with them any more despite the fact the main TAPS vehicle is easily a 6 seater, it just seems like a waste of fuel to me. Just for general info we had Jay & Grant in one truck, KJ & Britt in the tech truck & Kris & Amy in the new truck.

1875 Inn - Tilton, New Hampshire

Can we make a request to Pilgrim or TAPS please? I am officially sick of Jason & Grant ALWAYS being the 1st team into EVERY location, we know they founded TAPS but isn't it about time they let someone else have 1st dibs for a change or are they that power mad? I didnt hear whatever talking Jason reported in the Main Building, I certainly didnt hear the male voice or the door closing Amy & Kris reported on the 3rd floor.

Its official that Britt Griffith has lost any respect as an investigator & potential leader for GHI by suggesting the "flashlight technique" in the Tilton Room that was debunked a good length of time ago now on the Syfy Forum as good old arcing. The "bang" Jason was hearing in the Sanborn room sounded more like dragging until he asked then you got a knock when he & Grant were asking for bangs on demand, I did hear the "female voice" which was more like a moan but it did sound female.

Analysis & Reveal:- I couldnt hear Jasons female voice saying "Daddy" during the analysis, I just heard a breath from the clip of Kris & Amy in the apartment. As far as the "Daddy" EVP I think the client was prebriefed on what to listen for and this seems to becoming more & more obvious that this is happening, likewise for Kris & Amys "No" EVP. The male & female EVP Kris & Amy caught wasn't very clear if audible at all either.

Shippen Manor - Oxford, New Jersey.

I guess this show was filmed before the new truck was aquired as Kris was travelling with Britt in the tech truck on this journey, poor old Amy Bruni was reduced to driving in a car so it seems my theory about Jay & Grant no longer wanting to travel with the women appears to be correct otherwise why wasn't Amy in the back of Jay & Grants vehicle which clearly had 3 empty seats behind them? I was interested that Britt felt he had to tell the client he was "standing in for Steve on this case" though I don't exactly understand why he felt the need to say this when he's never mentioned it on any of the previous cases, was the client expecting Steve or had he requested Steve to be there?

For some unexplained reason there was no KJ on this particular investigation either. Something else I've always noted after the camera positions are talked through is Jason always says "Lets get digital recorders positioned", isn't this something that really should be done during camera set up & if thats the case isnt it pointless saying it each week?

In the Attic Jason & Grant talking about the boxes having potential for residual energy also failed to mention that its also a really good way to attract bugs & rodents too explaining a potential source of noise, movement & activity right there. I didnt hear whatever "ran right by" Jason, Grant said he'd never heard that before. So none of your kids has ever run around your house, is that what your saying Grant? That you've got the best behaved children in the world? I did hear the sound that Grant described as a "voice" but it just seemed like a random noise.

I have no idea what caused Amy to freak out in the Victorian Parlour, I couldn't see any "bug". It was like she was just freaking out for no reason at nothing. It was good that Amy & Kris tried to debunk the door in the Reception Room but their both complete idiots as Kris clearly said it could only be opened from inside the Reception Room yet both Amy & Kris (as well as their camera crew) all went to the opposite side of the room & tried to slam it shut. Which would have left them trapped in that room unless it had another exit obviously. A pretty stupid way to try & debunk though. I did hear a sigh from a long way off that they thought came from downstairs, I have no idea whatever the "wood" sound they reported was because I never heard it.

It was funny to hear Jay & Grant reporting shadows in the Victorian Parlour, so you can see shadows in the dark then? Thats a damn good trick guys.

Analysis & Reveal:- Can we ask Britt to either stop using the term ETC or please explain what it means or stands for? Dont assume we know as I've never heard it defined yet as far as I can recall. As as far "someone ran right by me" you cant hear ANYTHING over Jason & Grant walking & their jackets rustling either, you can hear the almost "Uh-oh" EVP, theres a sound but its really hard to make it out what it may be.

And as an aside for just here in the blog apparantly you cant use the word DAMN in the Syfy Forum, it got starred out like it was a curse or swear word.

Ghost Hunters S06E12 reviewed

2010-09-07T18:10:00.001+01:00

Philadelphia Zoo - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I couldnt hear the rustling or bumps that Jay & Grant heard in the Admin building, the opening door can't be used as evidence unless they can show exactly where Jason was while Grant was upstairs. I'm not saying faking but the chance is too high.

No idea what rustling Britt & KJ were hearing upstairs in the Penrose building either, I heard nothing. Whatever KJ saw in the hall it was too full of big objects to be useful.

It was pretty funny that they didn't have enough cable to reach the treehouse, I didn't hear any of the knocking Amy & Kris claimed to hear there either.

I was rather disturbed to hear the things Britt expected he'd find in the Solitude tunnels, this coming from a guy they have pegged to lead GHI as well? He'd impressed me with his technical ability last week yet here he is making silly horror film cliches like zombies eating brains? I did hear the small tap (probably water dripping or some small bit of debris falling to the ground) as well as whatever made Britt say "What the hell was that?"

Couldnt hear any of the things Jay & Grant claimed in the Solitude House, as for the thermal "just moved" without seeing how Grant had positioned it I can't accept it as any kind of evidence.

Amy & Kris were kind enough to prove my thoughts about dripping water correct by catching it several times in the Solitude Tunnels, they also seemed to debunk the above ground noises Britt & KJ heard as probably other crew members around the TAPS van.

I have no clue what made the dragging noise Britt & KJ heard in the Solitude House, their various descriptions were nothing like the sound I heard. They debunked the noise as the front door slamming.

In the Solitude tunnels Grant is even nice to enough to not only mention but touch the "water droplets" which must have caused the 1st sound Britt heard down there. Jay & Grant said they could hear females talking yet neither guy thought to radio to ask where Kris & Amy were. They also thought they heard music.

Analysis & Reveal:- The "voice" Kris heard is clearly debris falling in the tunnels, again in the reveal Jason prompted the client during the "knocking" reveal to let him know exactly where he was supposed to be hearing sounds despite there being nothing there to hear. Way to cloud a clients mind Jay! I did love Jason presenting his personal experience of the noises in the attic in the Solitude House with absolutely zero tape or video as if it was 100% gospel truth he'd have sworn on, it was even funnier that they presented the video of the thermal falling over with no video of how it had been placed and the camera guy in the corridor filming just Jason & Grant totally obscured in the stairwell - can you say grasping at straws much?

As for the "where are they" EVP not only can you not hear anything but a heavy dull thud, Jason even went to the trouble of telling the client exactly what to listen for before playing it a 2nd time. Grant at least mans up and say "Its not clear for any human being to understand" yet they both seem to know what it says. I stick by the "Give it" EVP that Kris heard being something falling, its certainly not remotely human. It was good that the client debunked the opening door heard in the Admin Building as a gate close by to it, theres no reason to think any of the Pilgrim Crew werent anywhere near that location either.

Ghost Hunters S06E11

2010-08-26T16:06:00.001+01:00

Their back! Onboard this weeks investigation are Jason Hawes, Grant Wilson, Britt Griffith, Amy Bruni, Kris Williams & KJ McCormick.

Otesaga Hotel, Cooperstown New York

One of the complaints I've made about GHI recently was that on the hotspot walkthroughs no-one appeared to be taking any notes during the tour. Britt addressed that this week, he was carrying a notepad & frequently making notes. I am guessing this was shot whilst semester 2 of GHA was going on as theres no Steve & Tango, Britt is doing tech management all on his own. He is going to be a very valuable asset to GHI when he takes over from Robb.

I dont know what the 1st sound Jason reacted to was but the one that caused him to ask "What the hell was that" I did very clearly hear & it sounded like extremely heavy footsteps or heavy objects being moved around above them. It seems GHI's laser grid to detect motion has now made its way onto this show but I was extremely dismayed to see Kris & Amy STILL using the "flashlight method" of communication and still trying to pass it off as paranormal when it was debunked as nothing but ordinary science in action early this year in the Syfy forum.

Whatever caused Britt to ask "What the hell was that" (seems to be the new reoccurring catchphrase now?) all I heard was wind & seconds earlier you could see the room window was open & the curtains were blowing, he described it as "like a door closing" but I heard nothing but wind. Yet again the Pilgrim camera crew were facing in totally the wrong direction to capture whatever Britt thought he saw & whatever KJ reacted to in the laser grid.

We've told them before but it seems we have to tell you again, if the action is where the investigators are looking then dont film the investigators - film what they are looking at. It only serves to make the show look extremely hokey (or more hokey than it already was). I think we have now got to the point where its about time there weren't any specific camera people, let the investigators be the camera crew as most of them carry DV cameras anyway.

Just after they say "theres no place for it to go" did anyone else hear someone rattling door handles when neither Britt nor KJ are anywhere near a door? (at around 17:11 into the show), KJ then rattled 3 door handles himself and apart from the fact he is louder thats the exact same sound you'd heard moments earlier). Back with Jay & Grant still in the ballroom hearing noises that no-one else can hear as per usual because all TAPS members are equipped with super hearing obviously. I could hear the mechanical sound Jason said was a fan (air conditioning fan I assume?).

Britt explained what the ETC unit did (covering thermal, UV & IR cameras) but not what it stood for. I have no idea what KJ saw especially as all cameras were facing in the direction he was looking. I think Britt was trying to chase his own shadow into the room he entered as you clearly see it in front of him. When Britt is standing in the closet door you clearly hear the female voice (@ 22:45 into the show) that causes him to turn around then moves the clothes on hangers to 1 side.

We did see an extremely bad example of possible cross contamination when Grant radioed to ask if anyone had slammed a door we had a 3 screen view & it was painfully clear all 3 teams of investigators were all inside the location at once, admittedly in different areas but its always a bad idea to have more than 1 team on site at once to rule out noises from other teams as possible sources. So basically any bangs or footsteps now have to be thrown out as viable paranormal evidence.

I have no idea what they were seeing go into Room 585 behind Kris as she was doing her recap to camera, all I could hear was the whispering (which I assume was Amy speaking to the producer), sadly it cant be presented as evidence as Kris was standing directly in front of the door obscuring the cameras view of it so I am afraid thats 2 personal experiences only and totally useless as actual evidence. As far as the "thump" they heard (@27.45), frankly that could have been from behind the camera (I'm not saying it was the Pilgrim guys deliberately making noise to make it appear as though the location was active when it wasnt but it sure felt that way).

I did hear the "whimper" that Amy heard (@ 28.15), why she thought it was hot in Room 585 I have no clue as the window was open & you could see the breeze. As far as Jay & Grant asking for things to happen on demand I'd like to ask if a walkie talkie keying up would cause the K2 meter to react like it does as you can clearly see Grant holding his just before he leaves the room. I'm not sure what was causing the hooting whistle that made Jason check out the bedroom (I am guessing possibly the various air vents?) but I didnt hear the dragging or footsteps that either guy said he heard.

Analysis & Reveal:- As far as the voiced that spooked Britt in the closet, it is certainly NOT saying "Amy", it sounds more like "Bobby" as you can hear the B sound at least twice, it may be saying "Mommy" or "Poppy" possibly but it sounds like an adult female voice. During the reveal Grant commits the usual no-no of citing personal experiences as evidence. Honestly guys how many times do we have to go over this? If its not on tape or on camera you CAN NOT present it!

Excuse the use of caps but if these people are that stupid then we have to make it sink in. This is Grant Wilson, co-founder of TAPS doing something we were told in previous series is the worst possible thing a "respected" paranormal investigator can do. So STOP IT!

Yet again Jason & Grant were presenting the "flashlight method" as paranormal evidence, guys please we have long since debunked this so again stop presenting this as paranormal. The sound that made Jason ask "What the hell was that" is obviously a set of double doors eventually swinging closed, its just a matter of working out which of the other 2 teams were near a double door at the time so thats debunked as far as I am concerned. I also had to laugh at Jasons 2 statements about not having contamination as well, how clueless is he exactly?

Ghost Hunters International S02E19 Pirates Of The Caribbean

2010-08-22T01:58:00.001+01:00

Before I start this weeks review after being slammed by Brandy Green a week or so ago I would like to take a few moments just to explain exactly how these reviews are written. Basically I watch the show from start to finish once with Notepad open & I type as I watch, anything requiring more than a few moments to type I'll pause the show then write whatever occurred to me then start it back up again. Because I watch the show in that linear way sometimes what I say at the start might be disproved later but I'll always try to point that out.

Again in this weeks credits Joe Chinn is back, Scott Tepperman features but Brandy & Ashley are out yet again. Rather bizarrely before the investigation the team did a little bit of zip lining. No idea why, I guess they figured they needed what appeared to be a valid reason to goof off. All work & no play makes GHI members leave the show perhaps?

Fortaleza De San Fernando, Omoa Honduras.

Yet again this week Susan Slaughter was seriously rocking the language skills, I've no idea why they were blurring the images from the projector out (I am guessing copyright reasons or their actual content wasn't considered broadcastable). I did hear the thud that caused Susan to ask "Did you hear that", I didn't hear any footsteps which was their claim.

Whatever sound Scott & Joe reacted to also caused me to say "What was that?", very weird. As far as investigating the possibility of furniture moving theres a simple way to check that & thats to trace around each foot with chalk, Joe used tape by the looks of it which is just as effective.

I need to mark Robb down for saying PX09 which 99% of viewers will have zero clue what he means. I Googled, its a passive EMF detector but apparently according to the link I found "the PX09 is new and experimental it allows new opportunities, experimental procedures and potential", in other words its not actually tried & tested in any way, shape or form. In future Robb, just say "an EMF detector" so people know what you mean? You can read more about the PX09 here:- http://www.paradoxel...com/tp3px09.htm

When Robb says "What the hell was that" I had heard what sounded like something wooden being moved. Its impossible to confirm or deny Robbs "bass/subwoofer" noise due to the idiots at Pilgrim with their incidental background noises. Susan & Robb getting chills can't really be taken as anything as the location they were in was clearly open to the outside with no door as the rain was so loud.

Barry must have super hearing to hear "someone walking out there" as all I could hear were the very loud birds, even when he went to check it out the only walking I could hear was him & the camera guy following him. Quite funny that only Barrys thick Irish accent can make the word Pirate sound like the word Parrot. The "drag" noises Barry & Joe could hear sounded to me like a train going by in the distance (I live fairly near a railway track & it sounded very familiar indeed), however after investigating the location on Google Maps I was unable to locate any train tracks anywhere near it.

Robb seems to be VERY inconsistant. He didn't mind explaining what the EFP (EVP Field Processor) was but didn't explain what the PX09 was? The electronic "alarm" noise you heard I think came from the PX09 as it does do that according to that URL I listed earlier. I think as far as ANY EMF readings gained outside all of them have to be discounted after seeing the sheet lightning.

Analysis & Reveal:- I didn't hear anything on the 1st EVP Susan presented before you hear Robb talk. Likewise I heard nothing on the EVP where their asking if they speak Spanish. It was cool to see the needle of the Tri-field meter move, I wasn't 100% sure if I saw that during the actual show but it was good to confirm it. It seems they had pre-briefed the client on the EVP's yet again (Barry holding his finger up to prompt the guy exactly when he was supposed to hear the sound was a dead give away too), the fact he knew exactly what it said was a bit of a give away as well.

It also appears Susan has now taken on the role of Case Manager from Brandy who we hear is either leaving or has already left the show. She has nothing but my best wishes in whatever future endeavours she chooses to pursue. Once again there was no sign of Karl Pfeiffer so I guess we have to now positively conclude he did only record one show.

Ghost Hunters International S02E18 Demons Of Nicaragua

2010-08-14T02:53:00.001+01:00

Ok, yet another change to this weeks title sequence as everyones favourite Ghost Hunter Joe Chinn is back! Ashley & Brandy were both noticably absent from the opening credits. Scott & Susan also were credited and it was cool to see Susan doing the briefing for this case.

Coyotepe Fortress, Masaya Nicaragua
Robbs attempt at Spanish was funny, Susan was rocking the language skills big time though. Whatever Robb & Susan heard we never had a chance to hear due to the stupid incidental massive CLANG played at the exact time they alledgedly heard it. We've made this complaint before against ALL the Ghost Hunter franchises and it REALLY has to be addressed by either them or Pilgrim who make the show, either stop the stupid incidental music & noises completely or don't play them when evidence is reported as happening. Do this and you might actually earn both our trust & respect back. We know you do it to add tension but its just unnecessary.

I'm not exactly sure why Barry feels the need to whisper, its actually quite annoying. Considering audio is a massively important part of the investigation its quite an odd thing to be doing. Paul copying Barrys whispering is equally annoying but its a case of monkey see - monkey do I guess, if your going to do an EVP then speak up so we can HEAR you! I did hear the "footsteps" Joe heard, I didnt hear the "Hey" though. During the analysis I couldn't hear the "Yes" that Susan picked up either.

Yet again in the reveal Robb broke the "using personal experiences as evidence" rule, I know we harp on about this but Jay & Grant used to be really big on this being a massive no-no. Yet here is the leader of GHI doing it. We know Jay & Grant have also done it recently so whats brought about this massive change? You have to wonder, are they THAT desperate for ratings they'll report anything just to make it seem like stuff happened? The "Hey" sounds more like an exhale, Robbs EVP is non-existant - you can't hear ANYTHING. The Full Spectrum camera footage was interesting but inconclusive. As far as the laser image goes, they tried to make a lot more of it than was actually there, you can see a head & part of a shoulder visible but certainly NOT the whole torso their overlay graphic presents. If thats examined closely you will notice the "torso" is actually sticking out of a rather obviously open doorway and NOT the wall.

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What they'd like you to believe is there.

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Whats ACTUALLY there, shame about the doorway immediately to the left though.

Carcel XXI, Leon Nicaragua.
Again there was no Brandy or Ashley in this case so they were obviously off doing other stuff this particular week of filming, and to reiterate there was no Karl Pfeiffer so it pretty much does confirm the reports that he only took part in 1 investigation only by the looks of it. I'm not exactly sure what Paul reacted to at the start, all I heard was the insect chirping noise. The 3rd noise (the one Scott noted) I actually did hear. I found it odd that Barry felt the need to use a noisy fan to blot out the barely audio music coming over the wall, isn't that what a directional mic (which we've seen GHI use before) for? Way to ruin your own data though Barry. Robbs EMF hits by the fountain have to be discounted as he was waving that meter around pretty quickly.

As far as analysis & reveal went I totally couldn't hear anything responding to Barrys "Do you understand" EVP - it was also rather obvious this reveal had all been done in 1 take as the client totally failed to hear that EVP correctly as GHI had intended him to and he had to be told it said Si and not Shh like he thought. The Full Spectrum "Light Source" video that Barry plays is totally inconclusive without knowing more about the camera, how it works and what mode it was shooting in. The actual object seems to move in far too linear a path, possibly a bird or bat?