My TNA Catch-Up, Final Resolution PPV 08

Feast Or Fired - Cute Kip vs Sonjay Dutt vs Jimmy Rave vs Lance Rock vs Alex Shelley vs BG James vs Jay Lethal vs Chris Sabin vs Consequences Creed vs Curry Man vs Hernandez vs Homicide vs Shark Boy. None of the competitors got any introduction graphics and although the arena announcer was introducing each person you were unable to hear him due to them stupidly allowing West & Tenay to talk over him so anyone who had decided to watch TNA for the 1st time ever today would have had no clue who any of these people were. Apparently Petey Williams (who was on the card to be in this match) didn't get medical clearance so didn't appear, no doubt their still repackaging his comeback appearance and it clearly wasn't ready yet.

Despite having proved so incredibly unpopular with TNA fans & viewers last year TNA still decided to have this match regardless of opinions. Its the same concept as last year, a 4 briefcases on poles match where you can win either an X Division title shot, a Tag title shot, a Heavyweight title shot or you get fired. I'd already predicted a few weeks ago that Curry Man was the most likely candidate to get fired so they could drop his gimmick and bring back Christopher Daniels (who if you've been living under a rock for the last year or so is the man under the Curry Man mask).

West & Tenay did a pretty bad job of trying to cover for Lance Rock doing nothing sitting on the top turnbuckle (he could have easily grabbed the case, instead he waited for Curry Man to come over to start working him), Shark Boy made a nice Chummer on Dutt and the crowd were obviously well informed with their "Fallen Angel" chant as both Curry Man & Shark Boy climbed up to get cases 1 and 2 only for BG James to stop them. Jimmy Rave clearly wasn't too happy about being put into a Border Toss over the ropes to the floor by Hernandez (it looked sloppy on both mens parts), this allowed Hernandez to release case 4 and leave the ring with it (although why he didn't just jump off the top rope to the floor instead of jumping into the ring then stepping out to the floor is beyond me, he totally no-sold the urgency of the match there). Cute Kip really no-sold Shark Boy's Chummer (and you think a veteran like him would know how to sell a Stunner by now?) and Creed made him look even worse by showing exactly how to sell one moments later. Homicide & Curry Man duked it out over case 3 before Curry Man released it and then somersaulted off the top rope into Lance Rock & BG James so Curry Man won case 3.

The mini brawl between Lethal & Dutt was nice but Lethal hit a lovely full nelson suplex which Dutt sold very well indeed, Homicide hit Lethal with a wicked Gringo Cutter off the top rope only for Dutt to cut him off with the worlds lightest looking headbutts (these weren't the 1st light headbutts on Homicide, Curry Man had gone light on him earlier in the match so I assume the other wrestlers had been told to be careful with him as this was his 1st match back from the bad injury where he'd hit the guard rail then faceplanted into the floor at the Turning Point PPV last month. Homicide stood on Dutt's back which allowed him to unhook case 1 then slid down the pole to the floor leaving only case 2 left up for grabs.

Kip & BG's exit out of the ring was very sloppy (from guys like them I expect a lot smoother exit) and I think Dutt hurt his left knee as he was grabbing it after his cross body block onto them. I have no clue what move Shelley pulled on Rave with the assist from Sabin but it looked stunning and allowed Sabin to hit Lethal with a wicked missile dropkick off Shelley's shoulders. Shark Boy & Creed worked together to try and stop Shelley & Sabin getting the final case but Sabin DDT'd Creed as he kicked Shark Boy over. Shelley released the case but Lethal stole it and jumped to the floor winning case 2 to end the match. Jeremy Borash offers the winners the chance to walk away and forfeit their case (avoiding the chance to get fired) but no-one took the offer up, a random number was picked and case 2 belonging to Jay Lethal was opened to reveal a Tag Team title shot (which will be interesting seeing as he hasn't even currently GOT a tag partner).

My predictions for the other cases are Homicide will get the X Division title shot, Hernandez will get the Heavyweight title shot (as it's already been mooted that LAX were going to break up and this would be the perfect way to do it) and Curry Man will get fired and reveal himself to be The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels. Jay Lethal high fived Consequences Creed (so it appears he already may have a tag partner) and for some reason (no clue why) the crowd were chanting bulls**t and Borash was shooting on Shelley big time. The contents of the other 3 cases will be revealed on the next Impact on Thursday.

6 Woman Tag Team Match - Sharmell & The Beautiful People vs Roxxi, ODB & Taylor Wilde. I wish Roxxi would change those checked trousers she's recently started wearing as they really make my eyes hurt and give me a wicked headache. This is is Sharmell's 2nd match for TNA (I had to go research on Wiki, she'd been in a mixed tag match with Booker against Robert Roode & Ms Brooks. Roxxi & Wilde mainly worked most of this match against Love & Sky, Sharmell only ever entered the ring twice and neither time for very long. After ODB chased Sharmell out of the ring and into the heels entrance tunnel Taylor Wilde reversed the roll of a flying cross body block off Angelina Love to get the win for their team. This was a very scrappy match - Wilde, Roxxi & ODB are all much better workers than this and the same applies to The Beautiful People, no-one really worked anywhere close to the best of their ability here.

X Division Championship - Eric Young vs Sheik Abdul Bashir. With Shane Sewell donning the referees shirt yet again we had to hope this wouldn't be yet another gimmick finish. Young had a good match, his fall over the top rope into the guard rail looked pretty hard and it was well sold by Young. Bashir was doing mainly mat based stuff, slowing down the match at all the wrong times really. Sewell was calling this down the middle until Bashir shoved him, Young went for a sunset flip but Bashir had a hold on the top rope until Sewell interfered and kicked Bashir's hands away allowing Young to get the roll-up for the win to become the new X Division Champion.

Bashir went straight for the beatdown and Sewell pulled him away and got himself a slap in the face before finally unloading on Bashir with chops and a back body drop, Bashir nailed Sewell in the head with the tile belt before sending Young over the top rope. Sewell had done a blade job on himself (I kind of guessed this was going to happen when I noticed Sewell's wrists were taped during the match) while the camera was on Young and Bashir choked Sewell with his shamag (Not a turban West & Tenay, get your terminology right!), no doubt this was Sewell's last appearance as a referee as this was his final strike for hitting wrestlers and we're sure to see him as a wrestler fairly soon. Cornette came out to relieve Bashir of the title and Sewell was helped out of the ring by Security. West & Tenay said something will be done about the title on Thursdays Impact.

TNA Knockouts Championship - Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed & Rhaka Khan) vs Christy Hemme. Normally if Saeed & Khan come out with Kong there's normally going to be intereference and this did eventually prove to be the case, Hemme had a fairly decent start and things were even with Hemme using her speed and hit a wicked flying cross body block onto Kong to the floor but Kong soon powered back. Hemme has been training with AJ Styles for the last 3 months and you can see his influence in her ring work. Kong had Hemme up in some sort of modified torture rack/back breaker move and Hemme was either selling for all she was worth or it really was hurting her, Hemme defended herself against the ropes with a few good kicks then hit Kong with an excellent top rope rolling DDT that Kong sold really well indeed.

Hemme hit the FFG and went for the pin only for Saeed to pull her away to break the count so as predicted the interference did happen. Hemme fought with both Saeed & Khan outside the ring and you seriously had to question ref Andrew Thomas for not calling for the bell as soon as he saw Saeed enter the ring but he did eventually call it and I assume Hemme was given the win off a DQ by outside interference but the title didn't change hands due to the DQ. Hemme dropped Saeed and Khan distracted Hemme to allow Kong to jump Hemme, Kong pushed the ref onto the floor and even with Security Kong and Hemme carried on fighting each other. I was amazed Cornette didn't come out to make a call on this one and the crowd was chanting "Let Them Fight!" so I expect to see a rematch either on the next Impact or next PPV.

Tag Championship - Matt Morgan & Abyss vs Beer Money. Abyss started by chasing James Storm in revenge for being jumped after Beer Money got him drunk last week on Impact. Abyss chased Storm out of the arena with Roode following them, Abyss reversed them both back to ringside where Morgan launched himself onto Beer Money from the top rope. Beer Money bailed out up the ramp and the bell was finally rung, Ref Rudy Charles had said if Beer Money didn't get into the ring before a 10 count they would have forfeit the titles but they made it back just in time. Neither Storm nor Roode wanted to square off with Abyss who was understandably PO'd after having 2 bottles smashed over his head on the last Impact.

Once Morgan came in Beer Money finally started fighting but Storm wouldn't tag back in and stayed away from the apron every time Roode tried to tag Storm in with Abyss. The crowd were chanting "Beer Money Sucks!" and Jaqueline interefered holding Morgan allowing Beer Money to get the upper hand, having already worked on Morgans knee Roode took out Morgans leg and Morgan made really awful sell on it. Abyss finally got tagged in and unloaded on Roode then Storm who he chokeslammed before putting Storm up into the Shock Treament backbreaker with Roode breaking the count on 2. Storm was thrown a bottle by Jaqueline which Abyss stopped, Jaqueline blocked Abyss hitting Storm who put on brass knucks and hit Abyss (I have NO clue what the cameras were looking at on the ramp when they cut away - edit:- it was Storm throwing the knucks away) and Beer Money made the pin to retain the title. This was a pretty awful match and I wouldn't have even given it away for free on Impact. Beer Money are awful champions as neither of them are very good workers and their even worse as a tagteam. If TNA is seriously looking to fire anyone to save money then Roode & Storm should seriously be at the top of the list. They may be over like crazy as heels but they can't wrestle for s**t.

The Motor City Machineguns come out to the ring expecting Mick Foley to overturn the Feast Or Fired Result and instead Jim Cornette says he's off to get the biggest Security Guys to get them out of the ring (I was half expecting him to return with Ron & Don Harris), and Suicide (Frankie "Kaz" Kazarian) deathslides into the ring finally making the characters debut after all the months of video packages and takes out both Shelley & Sabin who seriously sell for him in a big way.

Rhino vs Kurt Angle - With Mick Foley as special enforcer, the stipulations are as follows:- If Angle loses he leaves TNA, If Angle wins he gets a match wih Jeff Jarrett. Despite being the special enforcer it didn't actually mean Foley was the referee, instead he was there to make sure other members of The Main Event Mafia from interfering in this match. Rather unsurprisingly this was all power and mat work as neither guy is fast or a high flyer. Angle can throw well but good throws don't make for a good match, generally this was deathly boring and the only real point of interest was who if anyone was the person Angle said would deal with Mick Foley. Rhino accidently took out the ref and Angle grabbed a chair allowing Rhino to hit Angle with a nice schoolboy, Rhino made a nice superplex and then Al Snow came down the ramp distracting Foley and slapping his face. Angle beaned Rhino with the chair as Foley was distracted out of the ring then hitting the Angle slam and Foley made the 3 count earning Kurt Angle his match against Jeff Jarrett and I have to wonder if Al Snow's appearance here tonight was a 1 off or not.

World Heavywight Championship - Booker T, Kevin Nash, Sting & Scott Steiner vs AJ Styles, Samoa Joe & Team 3D. If The TNA Frontline Faction win here AJ Styles gets the title. Styles & Booker kicked off the final match of the night and Booker looked like a drunk Giraffe with his sloppy knee lifts (he even makes Dennis Rodman look good!), Styles connected a few good punches then Brother Ray was tagged in and Steiner came in for the MEM. Ray was channeling Dusty Rhodes before hitting a variant of the Rock Bottom then tagged Joe in who just owned Steiner prior to an eyerake then Sting came in. Joe connected with chops and kicks and Sting sold them all coming back with an eyerake and and scoopslam before bringing in Nash. Devon worked the MEM well before Sting distracted him and Nash connected with the big boot to a sideslam. I'm not sure if Devon was hurt or winded as you very clearly heard him say "Oh, s**t" when Steiner kicked Devon in the side. Joe came in and was eventually selling for the MEM but not even Joe can sell Bookers god awful knee lifts which get worse the more he does them, Joe sold a nice overhead suplex off Steiner but this match was starting to feel overly long and boring.

Styles was tagged in to work the last 5 minutes against the whole MEM with Nash guiding him in ring and Brother Ray shouting moves from the apron (you could very clearly hear him shout "Pele" seconds before AJ did the move to Nash, everyone got in the ring and chaos ensued with Joe & Sting as the legal men and everyone hitting their signature moves but Nash stopped Joe hitting the Muscle Buster with a low blow allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop to take the win for The Main Event Mafia. Joe & AJ probably had the best match of everyone here, I have no idea why Booker was waving his belt around after the match as its not like it was on the line or anything. Sting left the ring alone with the rest of the Mafia celebrating but looking very confused.

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 8

It's the final show and you'd think after 5 weeks of using the celebs in ring names Brian Knobbs would have been able to get Todd Bridges characters name right. This weeks pretraining briefing was given in the actual competion ring and area, the celebs do not learn ANY new moves this week but all 4 of them are told they will have to learn the moves for 2 totally different matches as everyone will be involved in a tag match and the best 2 will go forward to a 1 on 1 final for the title. Dustin Diamond is given practice on his weak and sloppy chops working with everyone else and the 2 trainers and Knobbs flubs Todds persona name yet again.

Everyone struggles to follow the sequence of moves for the tag match because they can't remember the huge amount of moves their required to do although after a few physical run-throughs it appears the celebs have got it down.

The Matches - Jabroni Match - Candy Girl, Tiffany & Frank J "Cleopatra" Stallone vs Mistress Of Mayhem (Mom) & The Redhot Redneck. Basically this is an all girl match with Stallone acting as a manager. Redneck was selling well as she'd been in the longest of all the women, Tiffany sold a nice looking stunner off Redneck and Mom came in to get the win off Tiffany with a flying cross body block. Post Match we had a face off between Stallone & Danny Bonneduche but it only amounted to 1 punch then Stallone bolted.

Finalists Tag Match - Mr Not So Perfect & The Winner vs One Mean Bean & Rodzilla.

Perfect & Winner stormed Rodzilla & Bean as instructed in their prematch training, Bean & Rodzilla managed to quickly regain control with a meeting of the minds then Winner was sent over the ropes for Perfect to work Rodzilla. Heels Winner & Perfect were selling really well for the faces and Perfect made a nice flying cross body block onto Bean who was outside the ring on the floor, Winner nailed an awful clothesline with brass knucks (it was hard to see if Diamond delivered it badly or Butterbean sold it badly) allowing Perfect to hit a nice flying splash on Bean who came back to take out the heels with a double clothesline, Rodzilla made some sloppy clotheslines but the bodyslams looked ok. Bean & Rodzilla pinned a man each and they took the win.

During the judges critique Bischoff tells Rodman everything he does looks believable, so he wasn't watching those p**s poor sloppy clothesines in this match then? Jimmy Hart days he'd sign Butterbean if he were managing again, Hogan tells Bridges he took a big risk and then tells Diamond he did a good job. Dennis Rodman & Todd Bridges move forward to the final match.

Mr Not So Perfect vs Rodzilla - We hadn't seen any of the practice for the final match but it wasn't really all that impressive and was mainly Perfect selling for Rodzilla until Perfect put Rodzilla through a table at ringside. Perfect made a better sunset flip (so he's been practicing there then), Rodzilla wasn't exactly doing many of the moves they'd been taught and Perfect sold the middle rope flying clothesline but neither of these guys really impressed because neither man really tried to do any of the moves they'd been taught over the 8 weeks. Rodman took the harder bumps (into the post and the table) so it was very hard to call but I would have sooner seen an decent match with moves than the showy match they decided to go for.

Hogan says both guys are even so he makes the call and gives the Celebrity Championship Wrestling title to Dennis "Rodzilla" Rodman who we knew had won the title before the 1st show ever aired. Clearly Hogan had decided ahead of time his old WCW friend was going to win so that was a bit of a fix really.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 4th Dec 08

Show opens with The Main Event Mafia coming out to whine that Team 3D fooled them & Team 3D's response. Lots of backstage garbage, no-one cares about the upcoming appearance of TNA's hired Sarah Palin impersonator.

Legends Championship (AKA Belt I Bought) Samoa Joe vs Booker T. We were 17 minutes into the show and finally got our 1st bit of wrestling. Wow but was this awful! Booker did almost nothing and Joe sold it all. It's hard to know how much of the match we missed with the 1st badly timed ad break of the night but it couldn't have been that much better than the rest of this pretty mediocre match. Joe had it won as Booker tapped out but Sharmell kept the ref distracted on the apron allowing The Beautiful People to come down, spray Joe in the face and Booker took the win off the axekick. Awful match, I wouldn't have even given this garbage away for for free. Lasted 5 minutes. Why even bother?

ODB's Angle - After the trainwreck that was the last of these their STILL having another? ODB talks to Roxxi & Taylor Wilde.

Mixed Tag Contest - Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed & Rhaka Khan) & Scott Steiner vs Christy Hemme & AJ Styles. Talk about a complete mismatch contest. 2 super heavyweights versus 1 almost heavyweight and a total lightweight in Hemme. We were 38 minutes into the show before this 2nd match got underway so it's really starting to show in a very painful way how badly TNA are struggling to fill their "2 hours" of tv time. Styles & Steiner kicked this off with Steiner using his power and Styles bringing it back to level with with his speed. Kong taking AJ's legs out when he hit the apron, damn but that looked like a hard bump! This match was also interupted with yet another badly timed ad break. You'd think TNA would have learned to not take a break during a match after 6 years but it appears not. Hemme sold a couple of stiff looking clotheslines off Kong, but Hemme took the win of a great looking assisted DDT on Kong. Yet another match that was only just over 5 minutes long with little to no heat at all for any of the participants.

6 Man Tag Match - Jimmy Rave, Sonjay Dutt (with SoCal Val) & Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal & Eric Young. Wow, could they have made it any clearer here? It's Heel team versus Face team with Shane Sewell as referee, Bashir left the apron to join West & Tenay at the colour desk. So 50 minutes into the show & we're getting match number 3. Considering this was a ring full of X Division guys this was an incredibly weak match with almost no aerial stuff, no fast or high flying moves. Only Sonjay Dutt making a very early reverse somersault backsplash along with Creed's double cross body block were the real highlights of the match, Creed took the win off Rave using the TKO. This match didn't even make it to 5 minutes in duration.

Filling the show with yet more blah, blah, blah - Kurt Angle speaks to Jeff Jarrett.

Sting vs Rhino. Well it was a non-title match so it didn't really matter who won or lost here. Once the bell had rung there was only just over 8 minutes left until the show ended so we weren't going to get any kind of decent match in that amount of time. Sting bailed from the ring early allowing Rhino to put him into 2 different guard rails then do a well concealed bladejob on himself. Yet another badly timed ad break during the match (so tonight TNA took ad breaks in 99% of their matches seeing as only 1 match didn't have an ad break taken during its run unless I missed it) I assume sending Angle & Styles out as cheerleaders was a Russo idea (seeing as it's practically the next thing to a run-in which he normally thinks is a good idea), Sting had this one won with the Scorpion Leglock but Angle distracted the ref long enough for Rhino to be released and hit the Gore to take the win. And the final match of the night only lasted 4 minutes and 20 something seconds.

Apparently this weeks Impact attracted a record number of viewers, its a shame they got such a god awful show with so little actual wrestling in it to watch. It'll probably put off at least 50% of them thinking TNA are just like WWE (it actually stands for We Won't Entertain) in that they do lots of talking and backstage storyline garbage but hardly any wrestling. In this weeks show we only got 4 matches and they were all pretty awful. I have to assume everyone held back their A game and gave their Q game this week because they wanted to keep something in reserve for this weekends PPV. It's pretty sad to think that the sum total of tonights actual on screen wrestling amounted to about 19 minutes of action. So more time was spent in commercial breaks than was spent on actual wrestling. If TNA continue down this avenue we'll have to rename them to Theres No Action.

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 7

This weeks show opens with the celebs bitching about how stiff a worker Dennis is, obviously he isn't there and their happy to talk behind his back. Brutus & Knobbs turn up then Dennis finally shows up. Brutus tells the celebs not to bitch, they should consider payback instead. Bischoff briefs the celebs on this weeks 3 moves telling them he's only going to tell them about 2 of the moves at that moment.

This weeks moves are The Arm Drag and The Basic Chop. Bischoff tells them Hulk Hogan is going to teach them the final move and Hulk comes into the ring to show them this weeks 3rd move, The Bodyslam. After Rodman fails to even pick Butterbean up Danny bets he can slam Bean and fails.

Hogan asks if Brutus can slam Bean and he also fails. During practice Rodman doesn't want to practice doing chops with Bean as he knows Bean will chop him harder. Hogan arrives to watch Bean & Rodman training and offers advice. Hogan also goes to watch training for the triple threat match and tells them to bring it. Todd gets angry with Dustin for offering tips on acting, during a break in training Hogan brings in a Doctor to check out the celebs for fitness. Dustin gives the Doctor a huge list of problems as he's being checked out.

The Matches. Triple Threat Match - The Winner vs Mr Not So Perfect vs Dangerous Danny Bonneduche.

After a bit of mime theatre to forge an alliance Danny & Winner double team Perfect who takes a nice double bodyslam. Danny & Winner chop on Perfect as Hogan says the chops look weak. Winner went to the outside to work Perfect & Danny who worked a great double noggin knocker. Perfect got a 2nd wind kicking holy heck out of Danny hitting a lovely arm drag in the ring. Danny missed a forehead to the top turnbuckle and you had to wonder if he hurt himself, Perfect hit the flip into Danny and sent him over the ring allowing Winner to come back in to get his own bodyslam.

Perfect made a nice flying cross body block into Danny & Winner then Winner missed a bad kick to the midsection that Danny sold and shouldn't have, Winner got caught in a nice schoolboy by Perfect but Danny had to yank him off to stop the pin. After working the ropes Danny & Perfect flubbed an awful looking double clothesline (clearly they hadn't practiced it and went for the move on the fly). Winner hit 2 clotheslines on Danny & Perfect with some sort of foreign object in his armpad pinning both guys to take the win and got good heat from the crowd.

Big Man Match - One Mean Bean vs Rodzilla.

We have a very long staredown the Rodzilla takes the upper hand beating Bean down in the corner and biting him on the head. Clearly one of Rodzilla's shots had gone astray as Beans nose was bleeding when they showed him looking "dazed" which Bischoff noticed and mentioned clearly. Rodzilla tried a couple of shoulder charges at Bean which just bounced off the big man who then sent Rodzilla over the top rope to the floor. Bean went right after him smashing Rodzilla head first into the apron then the guard rail which Rodzilla sold well.

Rodzilla tried to bodyslam Bean who powered out of it then hit Rodzilla with a double axehandle to the back. Bean then bodyslammed Rodzilla on the mats outside the ring then picked Rodzilla up and bodyslammed him through a table leaving Hogan to wonder if Rodman was ok to carry on. Bean hit Rodzilla with a wickedly stiff looking chairshot across the back and rolled him back into the ring. Bean hit the splash but Rodzilla kicked out, Bean hit a big chop then splashed Rodzilla into the corner. Bean connected with a 2nd cornersplash but Rodzilla kicked out from Beans elbowdrop.

Rodzilla then started to get his wind doing his own impression of Hulking Out with Bean soaking up 2 weak looking clotheslines from Rodzilla. Bean was taken down with a flying forearm and Rodzilla was caught off the ropes trying his patented flying clothesline finisher for Bean to hit a nice singlearm slam (almost like Abyss's Black Hole Slam) to take the win. Post match Rodzilla smashed Bean with a trashcan to the head as he was celebrating and hit him with one across the back and sent him to the floor.

Bischoff tells Rodman he works too stiff, Hogan tells Bridges he needs more control, Bischoff tells Bean he makes him believe his character but some of his covers were weak. Hogan doesn't like Dustin's chops and kicks and tells Danny he doesn't hit hard enough. Danny Bonneduche is finally eliminated (for a second time).

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 27th Nov 08

Show kicks off with Rhino leading the TNA "originals" out to the ring and tells the crowd he has named their group TNA Frontline.

Turkey Bowl Semi final match - Sonjay Dutt vs Rhino vs Hernandez. I wondered exactly why they jumped straight to semi-finals then decided I didn't care. Dutt had the upper hand for all of about 12 seconds then Rhino & Hernandez double teamed him right out of the ring leaving them to test each other to no outcome. Dutt came back in to work Rhino and it was pretty stupid to have a small fast guy using technical mat work on Rhino. Not a great match by any of these 3 guys standards, Rhino took the win off a gore on Dutt who sold it well.

Turkey Bowl Semi final match - Consequences Creed vs Cute Kip vs Alex Shelley. Creed & Shelley had fairly decent matches, Kip did almost nothing. Shelley got the win off Creed with some sort of headscissors hold.

Turkey Bowl Semi final match - Jimmy Rave vs Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Matt Morgan. Ok, I know some Americans can be a tad stupid but surely even the most stupid must know you can only have an even number of semi-finals and this is the 3rd of 3? Rave & Bashir were running the double team here and it was a bad idea having Shane Sewell in charge of this match. Morgan had an average match at best with Rave & Bashir putting him over big time. Morgan's double fall-away slam was a nice touch but Bashir got the win off Rave using the WMD.

Knockout Match - Raisha Saeed (with Awesome Kong & Rhaka Khan) vs Christy Hemme. The stipulation here is if Hemme wins she gets a title shot at the PPV. Hemme had a good start but Saeed came back too quickly and obviously Kong interfered when Hemme was sent out of the ring. It looked like Saeed was going for the Awesome Bomb but Hemme reversed it into a really nice roll-up to take the win. Kong coming in to beat Hemme down was nothing but predictable.

Turkey Bowl final - Alex Shelley vs Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Rhino. The winner gets $25,000, the loser has to wear a Turkey Suit. I assume they class the loser as whoever the winner pins to get the win. Bashir & Shelley went for the double team on Rhino who used his power to put a quick stop to that. Shelley was sent to the floor allowing Rhino to work Bashir, Shelley stopped the pin and Bashir stopped the next one. Bashir kept castigating Shelley about trying to pin Rhino but it didn't stop them continuing to work together. Bashir put an end to the team after a quick clothesline and Bashir working over Shelley allowed Rhino to catch his breath then hit Bashir with a clothesline and Shelley with the gore to get the win and the $25 grand cheque. Mick Foley comes out and awards Rhino his winners cheque (during a badly timed break), Foley then tells Shelley to put the Turkey Suit on or get fired then gives him a 10 count to put the costume on. Foley's fake laugh and even worse sexual innuendo jokes didn't improve an awful angle that really didn't get much of a crowd reaction. After flipping the bird to Foley Shelley found himself on the wrong end of a double underhook slam.

AJ Styles, Samoa Joe & Rhino come out as The TNA Frontline to see where Team 3D have decided to place their loyalties. The Main Event Mafia come out instead of 3D, Kurt Angle announces Team 3D as the lastest members of MEM and 3D come out in the suits and exit from the Heel entrance. After a super long speech from Brother Ray we get a mega swerve and Team 3D join the The TNA Frontline. Sting had to give Kurt Angle directions which allowed him to be dragged under the rope and escape a 3D into a table.

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 6

Brutus has bleached his hair blond and Knobbs tells the other celebs Danny Bonneduche was hurt but not badly hurt. Dustin Diamond mouthes off to Todd Bridges about hit getting hit last week and Bridges goes apeshit about and tells Diamond if he wants to bitch then he should back his words up with deeds. Diamond gets put in his place like the bitch he is by Bridges, you can now basically say Bridges owns Diamond. Knobbs tells the celebs to get geared up as their going on a field trip and the celebs all don protective clothing and take them off to a local junkyard.

At the junkyard Bischoff tells them this weeks match will be a hardcore no rules match. The celebs are then sent to find weapons and then let off steam by using them on a car. Back at the complex in the rec room after a short chat about how they felt about beating up a car Danny Bonneduche walks into the room. Bonneduche doesn't believe he's been eliminated because it hasn't been said to his face. Danny meets with Hogan who tells him what happened last week. Dustin Diamond goes over to speak to Hogan as well and interrupts him & Bonneduche who then goes off at Diamond after he said he'd worked injured (Calling him a liar? Speak to your lawyer about how sensible that was Danny).

Hogan says to settle it they should have a Falls Count Anywhere match and then later in the ring tells the other celebs they will be in the hardcore match. This weeks 3 new moves are demonstrated on Brian Knobbs, how to Hit In The Back (Hogan does a chairshot across the back), Hit In The Head (Hogan gives Knobbs a trashcan shot to the noggin) and Hit In The Gut (again using a foreign object, I think it was a baking tray?).

The celebs start practising taking the various moves from Knobbs & Brutus, Trishelle goes off to the medic after taking her chair to the back. Dustin & Danny are then taken off to the other ring by Brutus to practice working their Falls Count Anywhere match. After blocking out a whole ton of ideas Danny suddenly goes crackers after Diamond hits him in the head with a trashcan in the ring.

Hogan comes in to give everyone a quick peptalk then brings in this weeks expert - Bill Goldberg and they then show Bill the 3 moves they learnt this week. Goldberg then asks Danny to show him a trashcan shot. Goldberg says the 1st is weak as is the 2nd but Butterbean slaps Danny around the face then Goldberg says the 3rd hit is ok. Goldberg asks if he can take a powerslam, hits Danny with a hard one then promptly leaves.

The Matches. Hardcore match - Mr Not-So Perfect & One Mean Bean vs The Redhot Redneck & Rodzilla.

There had been no mention that this was going to be a tag match as well so that was quite an interesting surprise, Redneck was sent to the floor early leaving Bean & Perfect to doubleteam Rodzilla who ducked a chairshot so Perfect ending up clocking Bean and allowing The Redneck to re-enter later hitting Perfect with a nice chair to the back which Perfect sold pretty well. This wasn't pretty and it didn't look very practiced either. Lots of weapons used on everyone, mark for the various ladder hits taken by Rodzilla. I assume when he got smashed in the head by Perfect's tea-tray as he was still tied up in the ring that one genuinely hurt him as you could clearly see the swearword he said. Butterbean got put through a table (well he did eventually) and Rodzilla took the pin for his team. Not a brilliant match but it had its moments.

Falls Count Anywhere Hardcore match - The Winner vs Dangerous Danny Bonneduche. Winner started stomping on Danny just as he rolled into the ring, Winner then hit a nice bulldog that Hogan liked. Danny got his wind and worked Winner from corner to corner, Winner was sent to the floor and Danny followed with a nice cross bodyblock. Danny took a nice hit to the ringsteps then they both fought their way down the tunnel and into the locker room and Perfect got involved. Danny gave a weak trashcan shot and sent Winner through a door then Danny was sent through the set wall. Winner eventually dragged Danny back up the tunnel into the ring beaning Danny in the head with a cookie sheet before missing an elbowdrop. Danny missed either a frogsplash or missile dropkick attempt (I couldn't tell what he was going to attempt) then Winner DDT'd Danny into a steel chair taking the win. Very good match indeed.

Trishelle is eliminated after admitting she didn't give 100% this week.

Movie Review - Futurama - Bender's Game

This is the 3rd full length movie offering from Fox & Matt Groening based on the Futurama franchise. The fact that they managed to get 3 movies out so fast should really speak volumes as to both it's quality and quantity.

Once again we're following the exploits of the employees of Planet Express based in New New York and this is yet another movie where Bender gets to be the lead character or not so much in this case. You'd think that'd be true from the title but Fry & Leela probably manage to get just as much screen time as our favourite wisecracking Mexican alcoholic robot.

In a pretty convoluted story featuring games of Dungeons & Dragons (a game thats pretty much only really popular in America so most of the planet aren't going to get any of those jokes), Dark Matter as a fuel source, A love triangle involving Professor Farnsworth & Mom, A secret child revealed and some more of the background of Nibbler's people you get the bare bones for this movie.

Most of the movie is recycled ideas that have been used before including Bender going mad (which spawned an entire episode called "Insane In The Mainframe" and almost all of those ideas are re-used here), Nibbler's poop being a useful fuel source and Farnsworth working for & having romantic feelings for Mom. So not much has been done in the way of new material for the script.

The journey into Benders Game is due to Bender going insane by playing Dungeons & Dragons after being encouraged to use his imagination by Cubert Farnsworth, the entire of reality collapses and Fry & friends all fall into the Domain as imagined by Bender.

Leela becomes a Centaur (explaining the image on the cover) as does Hermes who also manages to grow breasts for some unexplained reason. The Professor is a Gandalf like wizard character and Zoidberg goes from being a friendy monster (who is decapitated by an extremely angry Leela) to just a pink head on tentacles in an idea they totally stole from The Mighty Boosh.

Fry becomes Gollum or the next worst thing and Mom is the evil in the land so no real change in her character there. There's a really annoying Star Wars reference and everyone comes back to reality and the plot (what little there is of it) is resolved in an ending with several twists that I won't reveal.

Diehard Futurama fans MIGHT like it with a good reason for the very big emphasis on might. It's mostly awful, very unoriginal like it's forebears and has already gone straight to dvd bypassing the cinema altogether. Expect to see it in it's episodical format on Sky One in 2009.