Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 4

Apologies on the late review, this wasn't uploaded to the newsgroups as per usual so I had to spend 4 hours grabbing the individual parts off rapidshare.

Todays 1st challenge is for the celebs to learn how to cut a promo. Dustin Diamond slaps Donny Bonneduche for taking it too far. This weeks 3 new moves are the Hiptoss, Taking The Turnbuckle & the Elbow Smash. Nikki Zeiring bottles it and walks out on the practice session when asked to give someone a hiptoss claiming her back hurt from having just done a hiptoss. Of course they wouldn't be having these issues if they'd all been taught how to bump safely in the very 1st week like I said they should have.

Trishelle has issues with the hiptoss as well, basically being frightened to go head over heels, basically she's also scared to bump. Danny Bonneduche also has his own completely different issues with the hiptoss and insists on doing it his own way. He ends up taking a very hard bump & hurts himself saying "something went pop" before he goes to see the medic. Nikki says she doesn't want to be there and Hogan comes to speak to her, Hogan says he'll work with her. Bonneduche comes back to training despite being told to go get an X-ray. Hogan works with Nikki & Dustin sells like crazy to make her feel better.

The matches.

For Team Beefcake. The Redhot Redneck & The Mean Bean vs Dangerous Danny Bonneduche & Mr Not So Perfect

The Redhot Redneck & The Mean Bean cut their promo. Dangerous Danny & Mr Not So Perfect cut their promo. Bean & Danny kick this off. Danny hits Bean with a couple of kicks to the midsection, an armbar then another armbar with Perfect helping him. They then doubleteam Bean working towards a fairly nice double clothesline, Bean kicks out of Danny's cover. Redneck has to bring Bean back to the ring and tags in with Danny and ends up getting seriously smooched. Danny hits her with a nice schoolboy but she kicks out after 2. Danny totally flubs the hiptoss and looks awful in his execution and landing.

Danny gets thrown around the ring then sells a kick to the midsection real well as Redneck tags Bean back in, Danny doesn't manage to sell Bean's elbow smash very well though. Danny kicks out of a heavy looking elbowdrop from Bean & tags Redneck back in. There's a nice double clothesline as they take each other out and Perfect is finally tagged in to work Bean. Perfect makes a nice flip across the ring to deliver an axehandle to Beans head but Bean kicks out. Perfect is splashed into the corner, he bounces Danny off the apron into the guard rail and pins Perfect to take the win. Good match but Bonneduche flubbed twice and looked scrappy, Bridges didn't get enough ring time. Butterbean & Trishelle worked well.

For Team Nasty its a 2 on 1 handicap match. Candy Girl & The Winner vs Rodzilla.

Candy Girl & The Winner cut their promo. Rodzilla cuts his promo. The Winner & Rodzilla start this one off, Rodzilla making a well sold armbar but Winner rakes the eyes to break it. Candy & Winner doubleteam Rodzilla with the armbars and kicks to his midsection but he powers out of it. Winner flubs a very low kick on Rodzilla almost in the family jewels. Rodzilla gets back on top taking Winner around the turnbuckles and Winners sell of the hiptoss isn't very good at all. Candy sells being kicked in her midsection ok and takes a better looking hiptoss off Rodzilla. Her kick to his midsection is way more accurate and on target than Winners was and Winner hits Rodzilla with an elbow smash from the apron as Candy works Rodzilla on the ropes.

Rodzilla is sent out of the ring after a double axehandle to the back from Candy, Winner hits him with another axehandle from the apron. Candy makes a nice schoolboy when Rodzilla comes back in the ring and Winner tags back in to beat Rodzilla down. Candy drops 2 elbows on Rodzilla and Winner comes back in again to work Rodzilla into the turnbuckles again. Rodzilla kicks out of an elbow drop from Winner & Candy misses a double axehandle off the top rope and hit Winner instead. Rodzilla hits Winner with another scrappy hiptoss. Rodzilla makes the pin off his flying middlerope clothesline. Rodman had a decent match, Zeiring was ok but Diamond was very scrappy in places.

Hogan picks no winning team tonight. It comes down to Nikki & Trishelle being the last 2 left to be critiqued and Nikki is voted off this week but its not like she didn't deserve it after her diva tantrums.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 6th Nov 08

The show kicks off with The Main Event Mafia coming down to the ring to formally introduce Scott Steiner as their 5th member. Did someone not think to tell Steiner NOT to shoot on video games as the TNA game really needs support at the moment? Samoa Joe introduces Christian Cage as their latest member to the cause. Cage continues to sit on the fence.

6 Man Tag Match, Beer Money (with Jaqueline - is she pregnant with all these loose tops? Or are they just looking to move her into a Michelle Obama style role?) & Booker T vs The Motor City Machine Guns & Christian Cage. The Guns & Cage had a good match, Beer Money & Booker were just plain awful. Booker took the win after "hitting" Cage with the legends belt when Jaqueline distracted the ref. Awful finish.

4 Team Ladder Match (Winners get a shot at the tag title) - Tanahashi & Volador (who made their very good debuts last week and impressed me a lot but their doing really well considering their involved in a title shot match in only their 2nd match in TNA) vs Matt Morgan & Abyss vs Team 3D vs LAX. Not a bad match, LAX & Tanahashi were the best workers here. Abyss climbed the ladder to get the contract and the win for his team after Beer Money jumped Team 3D.

Mick Foley comes out to give his message to AJ Styles.

Knockouts Tag Match - Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs Taylor Wilde & Rhaka Khan. This was supposed to be Roxxi partnering with Wilde but Kong & Saeed jumped her backstage. Wilde & Kong started this off with Wilde getting a very quick roll-up. Saeed came in and dominated but Wilde flubbed a backward leap off the middle rope into an armdrag, I'm guessing it was a move done on the fly that Saeed wasn't expecting so she didn't sell it. Saeed managed to flub a very basic elbowdrop (it looked seriously scrappy). The swerve of Khan chokeslamming Wilde was pretty unexpected, Kong took the win off Wilde with The Implant Buster.

6 Man Tag Match - Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash & Sting vs Eric Young, Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal. This is a bit silly because you've got 3 heavyweights versus 3 lightweights. Lethal & Angle kicked things off with Lethal showing his speed and agility. Lethal sold for Angle & was selling like crazy for Nash too. Young came in and had a nice offensive against everyone. Creed had a good run too until Angle hit the Olympic Slam to take the win.

Scott Steiner vs Samoa Joe. Steiner tried to jump Joe as he entered the ring but Joe owned Steiner from the get go. It took a low blow from Steiner to get back on top. Steiner totally didn't want any part of Joe's backsplash (you could see Steiner trying to push Joe away on the landing, totally no selling it for all he was worth) but this went to a really shitty finish with Nash distracting Joe (setting up for a nice suicide dive by Joe though) allowing Steiner to hit Joe with some brass knuckles (which Steiner totally flubbed the concealment of) letting Steiner take the win. Styles made the save on Joe when Nash gave him a post match beatdown.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3rd Nov 08 (800th Episode) reviewed

Tonights "800th" show kicks off with infamous gym bag shitter Randy Orton looking more like a gay pornstar than ever coming out to yack on the mic. He gets booed to f**k.

The Hardys vs MVP & The Brian Kendrick. Is it me or has Matt Hardy become Fat Hardy because he looks really chunky & out of shape. Although I must admit to enjoying his bulldog & clothesline combo on the opposing team, Jeff made a lovely Swanton to allow Matt to make the cover. Not a bad match to kick things off.

Was WWE struggling to fill their "3 hour Raw" (that actually only lasted 2 hours 16 minutes and 6 seconds so thats more than 43 minutes of adverts) with actual matches and having to resort to being a clip show however it was weird to see Sean Mooney again, whatever happened to him? Mind you they did prove how much of an old fart HBK is as he was on the 1st Raw in 1993 and their still pushing him now proving you CAN flog a dead horse. More clips this time from show#17 showing Scott Hall vs Sean Waltman.

8 Man Battle Royal (winner gets a shot at the IC Title) - As WWE were far too busy showing clips of their glory days no-one got introduced on screen. Jamie Noble, JTG & Shad Gaspard of Cryme Tyme, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Ted DiBiase Jr & Manu (whoever the fuck he is). Santino Marella came out to the colour desk to watch who his challenger would be. Snitsky was 1st to go very closely followed by Cody Rhodes & Manu. Jamie Noble went moments later fairly closely followed by JTG. Gaspard went not long after and Regal took the win by throwing out DiBiase Jr.

Shots of Shane & Steph arriving and yet more clips, this time from show#401 where Shane announces he owns WCW. Randy Orton continues to bleat in the ring, WWE fans show how stupid they are by consistently shouting "What" (which wasn't even over when SCSA used to do it) during Mike Adamle's announcement of his resignation. Yet another clip (show#778) with the Presidential candidates.

Vladimir Koslov vs Charlie Haas schilling himself in some cheapass imitation of Brett Hart. As per usual this was a F**KING AWFUL match with Haas jobbing to Kozlov in under a minute. It's about time Kozlov quit as he's not over and never will be, WWE have no clue about this guy and making more talented people job to him is just sad and pathetic.

Yet even more clips (show#257) with DX invading a WCW show.

HHH & HBK (trying and failing to revive DX but frankly Trips just looked ashamed to be there but fair play to him for shooting on Charlie Haas) vs The Miz & John Morrison. After a very badly timed -break we're into the action (so they spend almost 10 minutes hyping the match as we don't even get to see the f**king start of it?). Highlights of this were HBK making a nice sell of a clothesline from Miz (who appeared on this weeks Ghost Hunters Live halloween show) & the ref fucking up by tapping Miz on the shoulder to tell him to kick out after HBK's back slide. Despite HBK pretty much owning this match they still put Trips in to take the win off the pedigree on Miz.

Yet more clips (show#243) with Mike Tyson.

16 Diva Tag Match - Yet again they were too f**king busy schilling old clips to bother introducing half of the competitors. Mickie James, Candice Michelle, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly & Mae Young vs Beth Phoenix, Leila, Katy Lee, Gillian Hall, Marise, Natalya, Lena & Victoria. Beth Phoenix took the win with a schoolboy on Mae Young.

Again due to a lack of matches WWE show us something from last week with Undertaker vs Chavo. More clips (show#456) NWO Hogan. Yawn.

CM Punk vs Randy Orton in a match made by Shane O'Mac earlier. Is it me or does Punk look like Colin Farrel? Well this match was utter s**t and going nowhere fast then had an awful ending with the run-in from DiBiase Jr. I assume it was thrown out as a DQ on Orton for outside interference giving Punk the win.

More clips (show#772) Big Show throws Floyd Mayweather over the top rope. Even MORE clips (show#475) Taker becomes undisputed champion.

JBL vs The Undertaker. Undertaker wins from a count-out. What a shit match with an even worse finish.

Yet more clips (show#304) Stone Colds beer truck.

Kung Fu Naki, Hornswoggle & The Boogeyman "dance". They are joined by Goldust, Jesse & Festus, Sgt Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes & Hacksaw Jim Duggan. As if we didn't need any more proof there isn't enough talent to fill "3 hours" after all the clips they did this as well. No wonder Vince insists you don't use the word Wrestling any more, there's practically none going on.

More clips (show#775) Flair retires. Yet more clips (show#630) Kane ruins Edge & Lita's "wedding".

Kane & Mark Henry vs Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston. It's nice to see Kingston has some gold at last. When did that happen then? On paper this looked to be a complete mismatch and it pretty much was. Kingston was the best worker by far but Henry took the eventual win. The post match stuff from Khali was pretty pointless too.

Another clip (show#761) Tribute to the troops.

World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match - Chris Jericho vs Batista. Once the introductions were over and done the show only had 13 minutes left to run so this wasn't going to be much of a match. Not a great start and a really badly taken break brought us back to the action with Batista in The Walls Of Jericho. Jericho manages to f**k up the finish by not falling straight through the ropes as though the match hadn't been bad enough already. The match is dragged back into the centre of the ring (mainly due to them still having 8 minutes of airtime to fill). Batista could have won the match with 4 minutes to spare by just stepping out of the cage but instead chose to climb back in. Stupidly Batista managed to crotch himself but Jericho took the win and the title after climbing out of the cage for the umpteenth time.

Over the course of this "3 hour" show we got 9 matches in total which probably would have only just filled a 1 hour show on a good day.

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 3

This weeks challenge is for the celebs to create an in-ring persona. This weeks 3 new moves are the Basic Tie-up, working the arm (an armbar) and working the ropes (the criss cross). Hogan comes to the Team Nasty training session. Rodman proves he doesn't know how or when to sell but Diamond looks good working with Hogan. Hogan also attends the Team Beefcake training session and works Bonneduche in a 2 minute match although Bonneduche didn't sell the final clothesline very well. The celebrities work 1 to 1 on their characters.

The Matches.

For Team Nasty - Nicki Zeiring as Candy Girl & Dustin Diamond as The Winner vs Erin Murphy as Mistress Of Mayhem (Mom) & Dennis Rodman as Rodzilla. Rodman & Diamond started off precedings with a nice tie-up into a side headlock on Diamond who sold it well. Rodman tries the 1st armbar on Diamond who sells like crazy, Diamond escapes with an eye rake. Murphy comes in and makes a nice armbar of her own. Diamond missed a corner splash that Murphy turned into a schoolboy. Murphy wasn't selling being choked by Diamond very well & sold it even worse when Zeiring did the same outside the ring. Zeiring came in for a few cheapshots on Rodman before tagging herself back out. Diamond threw Murphy back into the ring & Zeiring hit her with a schoolboy. Zeiring tagged Diamond back in who bounced Rodman off the apron and into the guard rail in a pretty hard looking fall, Diamond went for a clothesline on Murphy who ducked and he hit Zeiring but it looked awful and very unpracticed. Rodman was finally tagged in hitting Diamond with a stiff looking clothesline, Murphy was tagged in for a nice top rope flying cross body block to take the win from Diamond. Good twist ending!

For Team Beefcake - Todd Bridges as Mr Not So Perfect (which got a laugh from Eric Bischoff) & Butterbean as Mean Bean vs Trishelle as The Red Hot Redneck & Danny Bonneduche as Dangerous Danny Bonneduche. Wow, he must have struggled to come up with that character & name for all of 10 seconds? Bonneduche & Butterbean started this match off with a tie-up & Butterbean throwing Bonneduche to the ground. He was suckered into a missed corner splash then Trishelle came in to help Bonneduche with the schoolboy on Butterbean. Bonneduche put Butterbean into a nice & well sold armbear then Trishelle came in making her own nice armbars. Trishelle hit a clothesline that Butterbean no-sold then he hit Trishelle with a clothesline of his own. Bridges tagged in and missed lots of moves on Trishelle, Bonneduche was tagged in and took charge pretty quickly. Bridges was selling ok and talking to Bridges a lot to co-ordinate their moves. Butterbean came in to doubleteam Bonneduche only to hit Bridges with his clothesline. Trishelle pantsed Butterbean and Bonnduche took the win off a nice cross bodyblock off the top rope onto Bridges which impressed Hogan.

Hogan picks Team Beefcake as the winners this week. Team Nasty are left to the elimination and Erin Murphy is eliminated from this weeks show despite having a good match this week.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 30th Oct 08

Welcome to the newly remodelled Impact Zone that now only has 1 entrance ramp but 2 different tunnels for faces and heels at the top of that ramp, I assume they removed the 2nd ramp to allow more floor space for the audience? The shows kicks off with AJ Styles & Samoa Joe making a stand against The Main Event Mafia.

Knockout Tag Match - The Beautiful People (with Cute Kip) vs Christy Hemme & ODB. Sky & Hemme started this off with a bit of miscommunication near the start with that awful looking takedown where both women had to take responsibility for what looked like a complete clusterf**k. ODB & Love both came in and Love sold a nice looking droptoehold. I certainly didn't rate the "nice spinkick" that West & Tenay were oozing over, personally I think it looked very sloppy, poorly executed and very hard for Hemme to sell. The cameras were in a very bad position for Love's c***py looking knee to the midsection. ODB took the win off a wedgie variation on the chokeslam. Love & Sky need more ring practice it seems as this match made them look like rank amateurs at times, fortunately for them Hemme & ODB carried this match well.

James Storm vs Eric Young. One of Storms better matches for a change (it seems he's much better as a singles competitor if I'm honest) and Young had a very good match as well especially his ability to sell for Storm. Young took the win off a Schoolboy (have this lot been watching Hogans Wrestling show?) and The Motor City Machineguns saved him from the post match beatdown from Beer Money.

Tag Match - Hiroshi Tanahashi (representing New Japan Pro Wrestling) & Volador (representing CMLL) vs The Motor City Machineguns. Volador & Tanahashi jumped the Guns from the bell with Volador hitting a nice headscissors then suicide dive on Sabin. Tanahashi did flub the landing of his forward rollthrough (or Shelley had an arm or hand in the way). During his commentary did Bashir call Volador Voldemort? Sabin got the eventual win off the Cradle Shock on Volador. A very good match, this is a classic example of why TNA can still impress.

Tag Team Grudge Match - Booker T & Kevin Nash vs Samoa Joe & AJ Styles. So basically this is 2 of TNA's best versus 2 of TNA's worst in terms of talent and wrestling ability. Well if anyone can carry Nash & Booker its certainly Joe & AJ. If they can't carry you in a match then your REALLY s**t. Styles and Nash started things off in this, Styles was certainly selling the punches from Nash. Styles got the eventual win off the Pele out of nowhere on Booker. Great match for Styles & Joe, Booker looked VERY scrappy especially his knees and kicks. It seems every time he uses his legs he looks like a drunk giraffe.

Someone STILL hasn't fixed the Sting video segement in the "Cross The Line" and it's STILL raining upside down!

Mick Foley comes out to talk to Sting.

Kurt Angle vs Abyss. This was mainly Abyss pushing his power and strength until Angle had his little comeback taking out Abyss' leg. Abyss spent a lot of the 2nd half of the match adjusting his mask to try and keep it on, Angle had a bad landing (hitting his neck) when Abyss hit the powerbomb. The ref stopped this with a DQ on Angle after hitting Abyss with a chair outside the ring. Matt Morgan eventually made the save with the Carbon Footprint (a big boot). Morgan was beaten down when Nash & Booker came out to help Angle but it took Styles & Joes troops (The Guns, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Eric Young, Petey Williams) to run them out of the ring only for Scott Steiner to get into the ring behind them and laid most of them out with a steel pipe so it seems that Scott Steiner is the fifth and newest member of The Main Event Mafia.

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 2

After an arguement about whose team is better Hogan gets the teams to jump off a high platform into an airbag. Brutus Beefcake gives the demo, Trishelle gets shit scared but jumps with a pretty shitty landing. Frank Stallone refuses to jump at all.

This weeks 3 moves are The Headlock Takedown (more of a side headlock into a hiptoss), The Schoolboy (looks like a legsweep into a roll-up) and The Shoulder Tackle. Butterbean nearly kills Brutus with a fart. Dennis Rodman injures both himself (strained rotator cuff) & Brian Knobbs trying to show him a flying clothesline off the middle rope. Danny Bonneduche comes back from his radio show and learns the moves. Frank Stallone gets dropped into the deep end and has to replace Rodman in an active wrestling role.

The matches.

For Team Beefcake - Trishelle & Danny Bonneduche vs Todd Bridges & Butterbean. Butterbean & Bonneduche kicked things off with Butterbean giving Bonneduche the shouldertackle which was well sold by Bonneduche who went for his own shouldertackle and was bounced off onto the deck by Butterbean. Trishelle got tagged in, Butterbean turned his back on her and she jumped on his back and started whaling on him. He splashed her back into a corner and she tagged herself out as Bridges got tagged in. Bridges sold a nice kick to the midsection and an equally good forearm (both moves from last week). Bridges hit the Headlock Takedown pretty well. Trishelle also took a good Headlock Takedown off Bridges then tagged back out. Bridges ran himself into a very scrappy looking clothesline (the 3rd of last weeks moves) from Bonneduche. Trishelle hit Butterbean with a kick to the midsection allowing Bonneduche to hit the Schoolboy and take the win for his team. Not a great match but not awful either as they used all this weeks and all last weeks moves too. You also have to mark for Butterbean throwing Bonneduche over the top rope into "security" after the match.

For Team Nasty - Erin Murphy & Dustin Diamond vs (as Managed by the injured Dennis Rodman) Nikki Zeirring & Frank Stallone. Zeiring started this off with a kick to the midsection on Diamond then hitting Diamond into the turnbuckles, she missed the 1st opportunity but hit the Schoolboy on the 2nd chance but Diamond kicked out on 2. Zeiring then hit a nice Headlock Takedown on Diamond. Stallone tagged in and hit a Schoolboy of his own Diamond getting only a 2 count. They split and setup for a Headlock takedown but Erin Murphy hit Stallone from the outside allowing Diamond to hit him with a nice double axehandle across the back then sent him out through the middle ropes which was well sold and done by Stallone. Rodman ran interference on the ref as Diamond choked Stallone out over the bottom rope. Zeiring & Murphy were tagged in with Zeiring ducking a clothesline but nailing a nicely sold kick to the midsection of Murphy. Stallone & Diamond tagged back in and Stallone hit a half decent clothesline but only got a 2 count. Rodman distracted the ref and Murphy came in to hit Stallone with a lovely double axehandle across the back and rolled Diamond over on top of Stallone, Diamond took the win. Rodman sold a nice kick to his midsection from Diamond after the match.

Hogan picks Team Beefcake as this weeks winners. Team Nasty are then left to the elimination, Frank Stallone is eliminated.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 24th Oct 08 reviewed

HHH comes out and shoots on Vickie Guerrero. One of the worst excuted pedigrees ever on Jeff Hardy. Despite the fact Mike M claims WWE is s**t hot sherbert it seems they were shilling a "fuzzy dice on a pole" womens match last week. Explain that piece of "entertainment" Mike, you huge mark?

Diva Tag Match - Michelle McCool & Maria vs Maryse & Natalya. The Hurricane thinks he's f***ing Quagmire? Was he already not enough of a c**t with the Superhero gimmick that bombed that he has to now imitate the worst character from Family Guy? Natalya dyed her hair then? What was wrong with blonde or did WWE get complaints that all their girls look too similar to be able to tell them apart? WWE thought that little of these 4 women that they sent Jesse & Festus out with a Spanish Band. Maryse took the win off Michelle with a roll-up. WEAK match ruined by a stupid non run-in.

Non-Title Tag Match - Bam Neely & Chavo Guerrero vs Carlito & Primo. I recall Carlito from his 1st run in WWE when he totally wasn't over at all. Primo I've never seen before but he looks more like Rey Mysterio without the mask. Carlito's flip into Neely either wasn't sold or Neely didn't trust him as Carlito came off looking like a c**t for having tried it but Neely was the bigger c**t for not selling it well enough. Carlito won off the backstabber in a pretty weak match, the Colon's weren't bad but I've seen much better matches from Champions.

R-Truth & Kung Fu Naki (Funaki rebranded) v MVP & Shelton Benjamin. Well Funaki did have decent moves back in his days of Kai en Tai, Shelton has always been good and Truth is a great worker as well. I don't rate MVP and never have. Truth was selling well for MVP. Funaki took the eventual win off The Crane (yes, that move from "The Karate Kid"). A shame there wasn't much more to talk about in a match with such good potential talent, I assume they were told to keep it short to allow more time for the s***ty main event?

The Great Khali schills Rick Rude's old gimmick, you can hear him spinning in his grave from here.

The Brian Kendrick (with Ezekial Jackson still looking like Bad News Brown) vs Super Crazy. It seems Spanky got himself a new image curtesy of the WWE dressing up box and it looks like he found one of Kings old jackets. Kendrick took the win and its sad that talent like Super Crazy is being squandered to Kendrick who was once only fit to lick the boots of jobbers.

HHH vs The Undertaker. S**t match with no finish due to an amble-in by The Big Show.
Match was called (I assume as a DQ?).

If this s**t is your main event for the weeks show then WWE is already dead and Vince needs to start firing people or telling them to raise their games.