Almost 10 mins of crap then a match.
Ricky Ortiz vs Adam Evans.
That'll be 2 no-namers and one of em is gonna job. Ortiz appears to be shilling Carlito's gimmick? Judging from the opening second it was always going to be Evans who jobbed. Yep, Ortiz won, nothing worth writing home about though.
Paul Burchill vs The Boogeyman.
I thought Boogey was a gimmick that wasn't over any more & got dropped? Anyway, due to excessive pyro most of this match was clouded in smoke (which is probably a good thing). It was a pretty sh*t match made even worse by the lack of finish when Katy Leah interfered and the ref called for the bell (Boogeyman winning off a DQ by outside interference then?).
Fatal 4 Way Match - John Morrison vs The Miz vs Mark Henry vs Finlay. I wasn't surprised in the least to see Miz & Morrison are tag champions again, it shows a lack of imagination & faith in pushing new talent. At least ECW showed me TNA aren't the only show who take badly timed breaks by having a break during the main event. Another pretty awful match as proved by Mark Henry actually walking away from the match not long after being kicked out of the ring. Morrison got the win pinning The Miz.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 15th Jan 09
Show opens with the MEM coming out to the ring to yack it up on the mic. Hernandez comes out with Shane Sewell (rehired as a referee?) carrying his Feast Or Fired case and asks for his Heavyweight Title shot. We were 10 minutes into the show before the 1st match.
TNA Heavyweight Championship match - Hernandez vs Sting. With all the other members of the MEM at ringside I certainly didn't expect the title to change hands or there not be any funny business here. No shock, as Hernandez took Sting up for The Border Toss Booker T threw a t-shirt into his face and the rest of the MEM jumped him so Sewell called for the bell with the result (I assume) going to Hernandez as a win by DQ off outside interference. The match barely lasted 5 minutes.
Sewell putting out Booker creates a new storyline for him, Homicide made the save as Sewell called more people out from the back to come and help but it was only other referees coming out so that was kind of pointless. AJ Styles came down and was helping until Booker kicked him but it took Team 3D with a returning Brother Ray with a mohawk to make the save with Ray powerbombing Angle through a table. Devon speaks more than I've ever heard asking for Angle at the next PPV and Ray shoots big time asking for Sting.
Backstage and in-ring crap from The Beautiful People and "Governor Palin" played by the lovely Queen Of Scream Daffney, Roxxi & Taylor Wilde shoot on them & WWE Divas having "punked" Love & Sky. It would have been better if "Govenor Palin" had revealed her true identity.
6 Woman Knockout Streetfight - The Kongtourage vs Roxxi, Taylor Wilde & ODB. Taylor & Roxxi appear to have either rebranded their images or lost their costumes, ODB appeared to be wearing one of Abyss's cast offs. A decent match that picked up even more once it went outside the ring, what was with ODB fondling her crotch? Roxxi made a stunning and well sold fall away slam on Saeed, Roxxi took the win off the Voodoo Drop on Rhaka Khan (who actually went with & sold a move for a change!) to take the win for their team. The match could have been longer, it was only just over 5 minutes long.
Tag Team #1 Contenders Match - Matt Morgan & Abyss vs Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal. So TNA still haven't stolen my idea to call them Lethal Consequences? Come on Russo, its a BRILLIANT name. I was extremely annoyed to see them interupt this match to show a video package for the upcoming PPV, its bad enough to interupt a match to go to commercial. It's even worse when its an internal commercial you could have showed AFTER the match, it seems the Asylum is still alive in the editing suite then? Creed & Lethal were the better team but there wasn't much to talk about in this match. Lethal made the pin on Morgan so Creed & Lethal get a title shot at the next PPV. Another short match at only 6 minutes long. Morgan & Abyss fought each other after the match as Abyss's screw up cost them the title shot, I guess this is Matt Morgans chance to be a singles competitor again, ditto Abyss and for Abyss to regain his hardcore side.
Backstage garbage with the MEM, it seems Booker T has finally dropped the stupid African accent?
Scott Steiner vs AJ Styles - Mick Foley is special guest enforcer. Styles had a great match as usual, Steiner sold well and Styles did a lot to put Steiner over. Styles looked ok showing no ill effects from his bad landing into the table at the Genesis. Steiner beaning Styles with the pipe was the worst foreign object shot to the head I've ever seen (and I've seen some pretty bad ones), Steiner had Styles hooked into a submission hold and it took Foley with Socko distracting Hebner on the apron which allowed Petey Williams to come out from the back and hit Steiner with a great missile dropkick off the top turnbuckle, this left the opening for Styles to hit the Pele to take the win with an assist from Foley & Williams. Not a great match especially by AJ's standards, the match was just over 10 minutes and 30 seconds long.
In a 2 hour show we got just over 26 minutes of wrestling. Its sad, isn't it?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Movie Review - The Zombie Diaries
This is a very cheap looking movie with a cast of unknowns (apart from 1 chap soap fans might recognise as being former Eastenders character Dr Legg, Leonard Fenton in his blink and you'll miss it role in the newsroom fairly near the start of the movie), its a British movie with a 1st time director (which is painfully obvious from the disjointed way the various sections of the movie are cut, its probably done to try to seem clever & thoughtful when its merely annoying & seriously disjointed).
The film is presented by way of various video camera diaries giving the director an excuse to shoot a lot of handheld camera work which is annoying and difficult to watch and follow, this kind of thing has been very en vogue since The Blair Witch Project and this movie is just as bad and annoying as that was.
The film opens with some soldiers in non-matching uniforms (someone obviously doesn't know what the word Uniform means then? Get a dictionary) showing the low budget, it obviously didn't allow for SUSAT's either which are standard issue on all British Army rifles, only the really poor RAF use iron sights. Theres also the huge goof of the 2 scientists who aern't wearing filter canisters on their respirators so they'd be killed by what they'd hoped to avoid breathing in.
During the opening titles we're introduced to the idea of a spreading disease gradually starting to get bad. Diary 1 - The Outbreak, we follow the news story of the disease as it grows increasing worse with interviews asking public opinions. We're also introduced to our 1st group of people, a group of 4 people on a news crew covering the story of the disease. The crew are sent out of London into the country to film a news piece and their journey is recorded for a documentary the cameraman is hoping to make about the disease.
Even though the disease is in its early stages we encounter the paranoia (listen to the news piece that says infected school children will be quaratined together, its almost like a Guantanmo Bay for kids the way they talk about it) in the form of an exodus of traffic as people flee the city (obviously aware any infection will spread quickly in a densly populated place like London) meaning their journey takes them much longer than expected but they do arrive at the farm where they were due to film but find no-one home.
Their car breaks down and the local village is in the middle of nowhere forcing them to return the farm where they break in to seek shelter, there we face the breakdown in civilization as the phone lines die then the power goes out. It is then the horror angle kicks in with noises from upstairs in what they had thought to be a previously empty house, the effects are good but the scare is well placed if not very scary.
There is a lot of annoying hand held camera filmed on the run but also in near complete darkness which I can never see the point of, the zombies are revealed and we're left fleeing with them as the group eventually make a fire in a field & contemplate their next move.
Diary 2 - The Scavengers (One Month Later), this follows a completely different group of 3 people foraging for supplies and parts for their radio which they do manage to fix and hear a message but they are too far away to hear what is being said clearly.
Diary 3 - The Survivors, this introduces us to yet another group living in a farmhouse fighting off zombies who stray onto their area. They burn bodies to avoid infection and always sterilize themselves after any combat with zombies. This group have members out foraging for supplies as well and they hear a message on their radio which is too far away for them to hear. (I guess we are supposed to assume they have heard the members of group 2)
We see how what initially seems to be a tightly knit group of rational people who are living well as a group gradually breaks down as tempers flare with lack of sleep. The film gets very disjointed in this section as we cut between shots of group 2 and group 3 so it becomes very hard to know exactly who you are watching and from which viewpoint.
We cut back to group 2 who are still trying to make contact on their radio and after one of the men is bitten they are involved in a car crash (we never see what caused it) and the woman in their group is injured and left in the car and eaten by the zombies (I assume the accident was related to them in some way but it is never shown or explained making this section seem even more badly disjointed in its editing).
The other 2 men flee from the car through the forest, the injured man dies of his wounds and his friend shoots him to make sure he doesn't become a zombie. The last man has an odd journey in the dark (with far too much hand held camera filmed in near complete darkness) and almost survives to reach group 3 who sadly mistakenly kill him as a zombie.
We return to group 3 and the farm house and one of their members is bitten & killed and 1 member Goke who just seems to go insane (they discover he was sexually abusing a zombie for his own perverse pleasure). Eventually the farm is over run by sheer numbers of zombies but it doesn't help that Goke seems to go even more mad and starts killing the rest of the group. This would have made a logical end to the movie but there is a final section titled "One Month Earlier" where we return to the news crew.
We discover they met Goke and Amine (who got bitten and died after a foraging trip, probably what sent Goke over the edge at the farmhouse) who spend a night with them but they discover Amine torturing someone (its hard to tell if he's a zombie or not) and the news crew are hunted by Goke & Amine who kill all but one woman who you later realise is the zombie Goke had been sexually abusing. The end of the movie shows you the soldiers at the start storming a farm and finding a lone survivor of group 3.
Its low budget, its handheld camera work is awful as are the pitch black scenes. Probably the worst thing about it is its non-linear awful editing to seem arty and thoughtful but it just renders it very annoying. I'd only recommend it if you were renting it.
The film is presented by way of various video camera diaries giving the director an excuse to shoot a lot of handheld camera work which is annoying and difficult to watch and follow, this kind of thing has been very en vogue since The Blair Witch Project and this movie is just as bad and annoying as that was.
The film opens with some soldiers in non-matching uniforms (someone obviously doesn't know what the word Uniform means then? Get a dictionary) showing the low budget, it obviously didn't allow for SUSAT's either which are standard issue on all British Army rifles, only the really poor RAF use iron sights. Theres also the huge goof of the 2 scientists who aern't wearing filter canisters on their respirators so they'd be killed by what they'd hoped to avoid breathing in.
During the opening titles we're introduced to the idea of a spreading disease gradually starting to get bad. Diary 1 - The Outbreak, we follow the news story of the disease as it grows increasing worse with interviews asking public opinions. We're also introduced to our 1st group of people, a group of 4 people on a news crew covering the story of the disease. The crew are sent out of London into the country to film a news piece and their journey is recorded for a documentary the cameraman is hoping to make about the disease.
Even though the disease is in its early stages we encounter the paranoia (listen to the news piece that says infected school children will be quaratined together, its almost like a Guantanmo Bay for kids the way they talk about it) in the form of an exodus of traffic as people flee the city (obviously aware any infection will spread quickly in a densly populated place like London) meaning their journey takes them much longer than expected but they do arrive at the farm where they were due to film but find no-one home.
Their car breaks down and the local village is in the middle of nowhere forcing them to return the farm where they break in to seek shelter, there we face the breakdown in civilization as the phone lines die then the power goes out. It is then the horror angle kicks in with noises from upstairs in what they had thought to be a previously empty house, the effects are good but the scare is well placed if not very scary.
There is a lot of annoying hand held camera filmed on the run but also in near complete darkness which I can never see the point of, the zombies are revealed and we're left fleeing with them as the group eventually make a fire in a field & contemplate their next move.
Diary 2 - The Scavengers (One Month Later), this follows a completely different group of 3 people foraging for supplies and parts for their radio which they do manage to fix and hear a message but they are too far away to hear what is being said clearly.
Diary 3 - The Survivors, this introduces us to yet another group living in a farmhouse fighting off zombies who stray onto their area. They burn bodies to avoid infection and always sterilize themselves after any combat with zombies. This group have members out foraging for supplies as well and they hear a message on their radio which is too far away for them to hear. (I guess we are supposed to assume they have heard the members of group 2)
We see how what initially seems to be a tightly knit group of rational people who are living well as a group gradually breaks down as tempers flare with lack of sleep. The film gets very disjointed in this section as we cut between shots of group 2 and group 3 so it becomes very hard to know exactly who you are watching and from which viewpoint.
We cut back to group 2 who are still trying to make contact on their radio and after one of the men is bitten they are involved in a car crash (we never see what caused it) and the woman in their group is injured and left in the car and eaten by the zombies (I assume the accident was related to them in some way but it is never shown or explained making this section seem even more badly disjointed in its editing).
The other 2 men flee from the car through the forest, the injured man dies of his wounds and his friend shoots him to make sure he doesn't become a zombie. The last man has an odd journey in the dark (with far too much hand held camera filmed in near complete darkness) and almost survives to reach group 3 who sadly mistakenly kill him as a zombie.
We return to group 3 and the farm house and one of their members is bitten & killed and 1 member Goke who just seems to go insane (they discover he was sexually abusing a zombie for his own perverse pleasure). Eventually the farm is over run by sheer numbers of zombies but it doesn't help that Goke seems to go even more mad and starts killing the rest of the group. This would have made a logical end to the movie but there is a final section titled "One Month Earlier" where we return to the news crew.
We discover they met Goke and Amine (who got bitten and died after a foraging trip, probably what sent Goke over the edge at the farmhouse) who spend a night with them but they discover Amine torturing someone (its hard to tell if he's a zombie or not) and the news crew are hunted by Goke & Amine who kill all but one woman who you later realise is the zombie Goke had been sexually abusing. The end of the movie shows you the soldiers at the start storming a farm and finding a lone survivor of group 3.
Its low budget, its handheld camera work is awful as are the pitch black scenes. Probably the worst thing about it is its non-linear awful editing to seem arty and thoughtful but it just renders it very annoying. I'd only recommend it if you were renting it.
Movie Review - Yesman
Take the unfunny Jim Carrey playing a bank finance officer called Carl who has just been overlooked for promotion and tries to avoid his friends & neighbours, his life is shown to be dull and unfulfilling until a chance meeting with an old friend who persuades him to go to a positive affirmation seminar (run by Terrance Stamp). He then decides he will say yes to every question he is asked and the alledged hilarity ensues.
To show how great saying yes is it leads to things like him being promoted for agreeing to work a Saturday, his relationship with his friends improves and he even has sex with one of his neighbours (she's a senior citizen though). It improves his social life (he takes a ton of classes to learn and try things) and goes to a gig where he meets Alison, a girl who had helped him on his 1st day of saying yes (played by a very lovely looking dark haired Zooey Deschanel).
There is a fair bit of product placement (Tempur mattresses & Red Bull stand out the most) and it turns out the film is based on a book by British comedian & presenter Danny Wallace (God damn you Dave Gorman!). The films worst goof is at the skeet shooting place where Alison is clearly holding a double barrelled shotgun and fires her 1st shot into the ground but hits the clay pigeon with her second shot but everyone there STILL dives to the ground when she turns around pointing a completely empty and totally harmless gun at them.
There's the incredibly pointless and utterly paranoid "we think you're a terrorist" scene at the airport, is America really THAT frightened that is has to start putting stuff like this into an alledged comedy movie?
Alison gets annoyed and angry when she finds out about the whole saying yes to everything idea and it is shown to eventually ruin his life again as he breaks up with Alison, is unsatisfied with his promotion and he is made to tell his former bank colleagues their branch is being closed.
Its not all doom & gloom as he uses his yes friends to organize a last minute bridal shower for his best friends fiance (who I recognised as being in NCIS), theres also an ongoing up and down relationship with his ex-girlfriend and her current guy who dumps her but his saying no to staying the night with her leads to a series of events that winds up with Carl in hospital after a car crash.
Theres another annoying goof (the riding the Ducati scene), Carl only had a tiny bit of experience with a small moped (almost certainly with no gears) but they expected us to believe he'd be able to drive a 1000cc geared bike and not crash it?
There's a fairly predicatable feel good ending but the scene in the seminar is funny and unexpected. The movie isn't great, hasn't got that many stars, Carrey is extremely annoying but the supporting cast of people who he meets along the way do make the movie worth watching and extremely bearable.
To show how great saying yes is it leads to things like him being promoted for agreeing to work a Saturday, his relationship with his friends improves and he even has sex with one of his neighbours (she's a senior citizen though). It improves his social life (he takes a ton of classes to learn and try things) and goes to a gig where he meets Alison, a girl who had helped him on his 1st day of saying yes (played by a very lovely looking dark haired Zooey Deschanel).
There is a fair bit of product placement (Tempur mattresses & Red Bull stand out the most) and it turns out the film is based on a book by British comedian & presenter Danny Wallace (God damn you Dave Gorman!). The films worst goof is at the skeet shooting place where Alison is clearly holding a double barrelled shotgun and fires her 1st shot into the ground but hits the clay pigeon with her second shot but everyone there STILL dives to the ground when she turns around pointing a completely empty and totally harmless gun at them.
There's the incredibly pointless and utterly paranoid "we think you're a terrorist" scene at the airport, is America really THAT frightened that is has to start putting stuff like this into an alledged comedy movie?
Alison gets annoyed and angry when she finds out about the whole saying yes to everything idea and it is shown to eventually ruin his life again as he breaks up with Alison, is unsatisfied with his promotion and he is made to tell his former bank colleagues their branch is being closed.
Its not all doom & gloom as he uses his yes friends to organize a last minute bridal shower for his best friends fiance (who I recognised as being in NCIS), theres also an ongoing up and down relationship with his ex-girlfriend and her current guy who dumps her but his saying no to staying the night with her leads to a series of events that winds up with Carl in hospital after a car crash.
Theres another annoying goof (the riding the Ducati scene), Carl only had a tiny bit of experience with a small moped (almost certainly with no gears) but they expected us to believe he'd be able to drive a 1000cc geared bike and not crash it?
There's a fairly predicatable feel good ending but the scene in the seminar is funny and unexpected. The movie isn't great, hasn't got that many stars, Carrey is extremely annoying but the supporting cast of people who he meets along the way do make the movie worth watching and extremely bearable.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My TNA Catch-Up, Genesis PPV 09
6 Man Tag Team Elimination Match - Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave & Kiyoshi vs Eric Young & LAX.
Dutt & Homicide kicked this match off but Young & Rave replaced them in moments which got the crowd going. Kiyoshi looked REALLY unwilling to sell the catapult off Hernandez and it was left to Homicide to sell the move using the backsplash. The split screen stuff with Cornette backstage shows how little faith TNA really had in the wrestlers in the opening match, it was thoughtless & rude to those involved and even more so it was disrespectful to the PPV fans who'd paid good money to watch wrestling, not some tiny screen you could barely see. Homicide sold well for the whole heel team, Kiyoshi flubbed a fall over the ropes but Raves slam of Young onto the apron was a great looking and well sold move.
I'm not enjoying Hernandez's new moustache (A cross between Al Snow, HHH & A-Train), can anyone tell me who that Jeff Jarrett look-alike in glasses with grey hair was at ringside, is that his father? (he was visible helping one of the camera crew around the 14-15 minute mark, from later views of him I assume he is one of the people who takes the ring stills) Business picked up a bit and the pace of the match improved with a lot more good moves being pulled and everyone getting a chance to showcase themselves. Young was eliminated by Dutt (with the help of his feet on the ropes) and Homicide was eliminated by Rave (thanks to a handfull of shorts and a decent roll up) a few minutes later. Dutt sold a nice looking Crackerjack off Hernandez before Super Mex (I finally called him that) eliminated Kiyoshi with The Border Toss then moments later eliminated Dutt with a hard looking sit out power bomb. Hernandez took the win with a great splash off the top turnbuckle to win the match for his team.
X Division Championship - Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin.
Basically this is The Motor City Machineguns versus each other and I guess this is their reward for having jobbed to all those teams and people for the last few months and now one of them is going to be X Division Champion. I was surprised to see so much technical mat based stuff from these guys, I was expecting fast and high flying from the get go so I was disappointed. The match pretty much stank until Shelley hit the somersault kick on Sabin who was half through the ropes closely followed by a nice lionsault. Sabin's kick to the head looked good and the heat was definately increasing between these guys. Sabins springboard DDT was great but Shelley's kickout from the Cradleshock was very badly flubbed and the title should have gone to Sabin right then. After a fairly decent match everybody must have felt totally robbed by the incredibly weak schoolboy by Shelley to win and Alex Shelley is the new X Division Champion.
Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Shane Sewell.
What? Their not calling THIS a grudge match? WTF Russo? If ANYTHING was a grudge match then this f**ker is the dictionary definition, isn't it? I was rather annoyed at West & Tenay continually referring to "The Referee Shane Sewell", guys you were AT the Impact when Cornette canned him. He's the wrestler Shane Sewell and for this match only. As fun as it is to see a ref wrestle its hardly a new idea (my brain recalls Dangerous Danny Davis for one), I assume Sewell used the figure 4 to get a cheap pop from the local fans. Bashir's forearms were shown to be painfully wide of the mark (bad camera angle, poor show Mr Director!), fortunately this wound up shortly after with Sewell taking the win off a Sunset Flip. Another poor Bashir match.
Tag Team Championship - Abyss & Matt Morgan vs Beer Money vs Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed.
Hopefully Robert Roode is 100% fit here but I am very unhappy that TNA haven't yet stolen my team name and started calling the champions Lethal Consequences. It's truly brilliant, isn't it? This is a 3 way tag match and anyone can tag another person in from a different team. Creed & Roode started things off, the match didn't have a great start but picked up after Jaqueline got involved with both Creed & Lethal making great looking dives onto Roode & Storm. Its not every day you get someone as big as Matt Morgan making a cross body block off the top turn buckle to the floor but his was great too, although from that point onward Roode looked unsure on that bad leg and you did see him grab it when they showed the repeat of Morgans jump. Roode was even limping slightly when he came in to help double team & suplex Abyss, likewise he was limping after the backdrop from Creed even to the point where the ref actually went and checked on him.
Creed sold the double teamed assisted DDT from Roode & Storm (that looked great!) & Lethal made a painful flub of the Lethal combination (probably due to Roode's leg being unable to support his full weight in that position properly). Roode didn't make a much better job of his snap neckbreaker on Morgan (the camera angle didn't help sell it any either). The finish was sloppy (they'd clearly run out of ideas) with Abyss hitting Morgan with the title, Lethal hitting the big flying elbow on Roode then Storm hitting Lethal with the Superkick before rolling Roode back onto Morgan whilst Jacqueline distracted the ref until she saw their chance and left Rudy Charles to make the 3 count for Roode pinning Morgan & Beer Money regain the Tag Titles.
6 Woman Knockout Contest - ODB, Roxxi & Taylor Wilde vs Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan & Sojourner Bolt (now collectively known as The Kongtourage).
The winner of this will eventually get a title shot against whoever the champion might be at that time. Considering TNA literally had to pull this match out of thin air at the last minute it wasn't a bad line up, Wilde & Bolt got it going. Bolt was selling ok for Wilde but the Hurricanrana looked painful and Wilde didn't appear to tuck her head in and may have hurt her neck there. Khan was looking better than normal (I love seeing people fight her, its like watching a Giraffe get beaten up) although she seemed super unwilling to have any part in taking a fall away slam from ODB.
Bolt barely made a save (people were really flubbing last minute saves tonight, are they putting something in the water at TNA?) and I'm not sure but I think Roxxi got a seriously painful looking back full of guard rail from Wilde's top rope cross body block on her, Khan & Bolt. This allowed ODB time for a small package to take the win and she earns herself a title shot. Despite various reports of being injured, Awesome Kong did come out to the ring although she did grab her back when ODB pushed her so she wasn't 100% but ODB sold a chokeslam to try and subdue the injury ideas.
Grudge Match - Kurt Angle vs Jeff Jarrett.
Jarrett started this by just trying to beat the hell out of Angle, nothing elegant or subtle, just pure unfettered violence. This was pretty dull until Angle's bad landing on his ankle and Jarrett's even worse landing on his head. Jarrett bladed under the colour desk and Angle did the same just off camera on the entrance ramp a few moments afterwards and they knew this one had to get done quickly as Jarrett had cut himself too deeply and was having trouble seeing. The Angle Slam off the stage through the table pretty much missed it and Jarrett took most of the fall onto the concrete floor and it was shades of New Jack vs Vic Grimes in old ECW.
The simple fact that either guy (especially Jarrett) was able to go back to the ring and continue shows how dedicated these workers are but I was annoyed that we were really late into the match before anyone (for anyone read West & Tenay) decided to mention this was a no DQ match. Jarrett made the most stupid cover allowing Angle to make a roll over and take the win.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship - Rhino vs Sting.
They'd been playing some no-show angle for most of the PPV until some of the MEM said they'd beaten Rhino up and left him so when Rhino came out holding his back, head bandaged and face bloodied you knew he'd already been told to sell and job to Sting. I'll be honest, I really didn't want to watch this and didn't. They had already cheapened the match with the bulls**it injury angle. Sting took the win and retains his title, no shock there.
6 Man Tag Match - Booker T, Scott Steiner & Cute Kip vs Brother Devon, AJ Styles & Mick Foley making his debut in TNA. Kevin Nash wasn't appearing due to a staph infection in his elbow (which Booker seemed to find very funny indeed) so Kip was standing in for him here. Kip & AJ had a nice short run together, I had a chuckle at West & Tenay insisting Kip James was the tag team specialist of their team, I assume they conveniently forgot about Harlem Heat & The Steiner Brothers very successful tag careers?
Styles did his usual job of selling well for the MEM before hitting an almost Pele on Booker then an actual Pele on Kip a few moments later. The crowd were right to boo Rudy Charles and his decision to end the match having counted everyone out calling no winner which gave Booker a wry smile. Cornette came out, got himself a cheap pop & ordered the restart of the match which Booker shot down but Foley rubber stamped it as a hardcore match and things got going again.
Devon took a trash can shot, Styles beaned Steiner likewise while West & Tenay did a very bad job of concealing their commentary scripts after Foley was back dropped onto their announce table by Booker. Foley called for a table where Kip was laid out, Booker crotched Foley on the announce desk but Styles dived off the top rope frog splashing onto Kip in possibly the best and craziest move of the entire night.
Steiner & Devon were the only 2 not involved and carried on in the ring (with Devon taking a moment to glance over & check Styles was ok) with Devon flubbing his initial attempt to climb onto the top turnbuckle and eventually managed. Booker hit Devon with the axe kick when he wasn't looking only to get a mouthfull of Socko after his spinaroonie, Steiner broke up the mandible claw with a trashcan to Foleys back. Foley came back hitting a great looking DDT into the chair on Steiner rolling him over to make the pin and win for The Frontline over The Main Event Mafia. It was pretty clear Styles was still winded and in pain when they were celebrating in the ring so hopefully he isn't banged up too badly.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Movie Review - Hollow Man 2
f anything ever stank of "pointless sequal" it was going to be this. Most people watching this will have seen the original and be fully aware the lab was destroyed, Kevin Bacon was killed and all the research destroyed. Only 1 person escaped alive.
This one drops you right into the invisiblity and I assume that was Christian Slater (the only recognisable name in the cast) playing our Invisible Man judging by his voice, you know the film is going to stink as they go for gratuitous nudity in the opening scene.
After the gruesome murder scene eventually leading to the squeaky stair I figured we were going to be lead by the nose and told in a very loud slow voice exactly what the Director intended to use as plot devices and theres nothing worse than a Director who thinks his potential audience are such cretins he has to explain the movie to them before scenes happen.
As a Director he also doesn't know how night vision video cameras work (with the pointless and equally impossible Invisible man reveal in the teens bedroom, it'd be likely if it were thermal) and the police protection idea is also pointless as the house is left unlocked and there are a number of times when Invisible Slater can enter the house.
Using the cat is lame (has the Director not seen Alien?) and as predicted the squeaky step is the "tell". Invisible Slater is an idiot though, attacking & killing a cop (this is addressed later but seemed totally mindless and pointless at the time). You also have to wonder where a naked Invisible Man stores his flashbangs.
For someone being chased by Black Ops Military, Invisible Slater is a complete idiot as he draws far too much attention to himself chasing Frank the cop and Maggie the Biologist. He was going to be pretty badly injured after being hit by a car though and not in a fit state to be chasing people around Seattle (I saw the Space Needle in the background).
We were being asked to accept that whatever Invisible Slater injected himself with was able to cure all his injuries from the car crash (Theres suspension of disbelief and then theres asking to believe the impossible, clearly this Director wasn't sure where the line was).
Frank is clearly in rule breaking mode (not just helping Maggie escape he drives through a no entry sign & he also he steals a car) then Maggie explains about the invisible man and after 43 minutes of movie we actually discover our invisible man is called Micheal Griffin.
We do at last get to see the experiment (and the 1st on screen appearance of Slater almost 44 minutes into a movie where he is the star) and they explain he is Special Forces which explains some of his strength & fighting ability. Maggie was lied to and told Griffin had died and was then fired, the invisiblity program was clearly going to be used for military purposes.
Griffins initial purpose is revealed, he is trying to get himself a buffer drug (it is unclear if this reverses the invisibilty or what it actually does, they may have explained it. If they did, I missed it). The suspicion theme is played on heavily with Maggie being jumpy about the clerk at the gas station but the idea is reinforced when you see how the Military are trying to monitor and detect them.
When Maggie & Frank go to meet someone who had been sending Maggie mysterious texts they discover Griffin was not the only success in the Invisibilty experiment, it turns out there were 3 more. The 1st only lasted 8 days, their contact was number 2 and Griffin was number 3.
Lawrents, Invisible Man number 2 explains the program was hushed up to allow the Military to assassinate specific political targets until Griffin went loco and started killing anyone he felt like. The themes of paranoia and fear of the unknown or unseen are worked well with Maggie jumping at the merest noise or shadow.
Griffin kidnaps Maggies sister (although you have to wonder how he knew where she lived?) forcing Maggie to meet him with the buffer drug at the train station and the Director further compounds his camcorder night vision mistake by repeating it a second time.
The complete non-response of people to a half naked women screaming "help me" whilst being dragged by an unseen force is pretty astonishing (you'd think at least 1 good samaritan would try to intervene?) although when Frank locks himself in the store you already know he'll be leaving thanks to invisibility.
The twist occurence to the guy in charge of the Invisibility program is fast and if you blink you'll definately miss it. Theres a pretty inexcusable goof in the lab that you cant see any of Griffin's face after Maggie clearly sprays him in the eyes with paint, you can even see the paint marks around the eye holes of his mask but no trace of paint inside.
Having 2 invisible men (as Frank is now invisible as well of course) fight each other in the rain is exciting to watch but pretty damn stupid as Griffin should be in no fit state to do anything having just fallen from at least 3 floors up through a window onto solid concrete.
Griffin regaining visibilty is very cool to watch but I was too annoyed by the fact that Maggie seemed uneffected by the same dose of rat poison which she actually took before him so it should have taken effect earlier in her. Perhaps our awful Director forgot that bit of the movie that happened only a few minutes earlier.
The end is left very open with Maggie recovering in hospital (I find it unlikely that badly injured Invisible Frank would have been able to easily get her to medical attention) and a look at Frank leaving things open for another movie which would be an even worse idea than this one was.
This one drops you right into the invisiblity and I assume that was Christian Slater (the only recognisable name in the cast) playing our Invisible Man judging by his voice, you know the film is going to stink as they go for gratuitous nudity in the opening scene.
After the gruesome murder scene eventually leading to the squeaky stair I figured we were going to be lead by the nose and told in a very loud slow voice exactly what the Director intended to use as plot devices and theres nothing worse than a Director who thinks his potential audience are such cretins he has to explain the movie to them before scenes happen.
As a Director he also doesn't know how night vision video cameras work (with the pointless and equally impossible Invisible man reveal in the teens bedroom, it'd be likely if it were thermal) and the police protection idea is also pointless as the house is left unlocked and there are a number of times when Invisible Slater can enter the house.
Using the cat is lame (has the Director not seen Alien?) and as predicted the squeaky step is the "tell". Invisible Slater is an idiot though, attacking & killing a cop (this is addressed later but seemed totally mindless and pointless at the time). You also have to wonder where a naked Invisible Man stores his flashbangs.
For someone being chased by Black Ops Military, Invisible Slater is a complete idiot as he draws far too much attention to himself chasing Frank the cop and Maggie the Biologist. He was going to be pretty badly injured after being hit by a car though and not in a fit state to be chasing people around Seattle (I saw the Space Needle in the background).
We were being asked to accept that whatever Invisible Slater injected himself with was able to cure all his injuries from the car crash (Theres suspension of disbelief and then theres asking to believe the impossible, clearly this Director wasn't sure where the line was).
Frank is clearly in rule breaking mode (not just helping Maggie escape he drives through a no entry sign & he also he steals a car) then Maggie explains about the invisible man and after 43 minutes of movie we actually discover our invisible man is called Micheal Griffin.
We do at last get to see the experiment (and the 1st on screen appearance of Slater almost 44 minutes into a movie where he is the star) and they explain he is Special Forces which explains some of his strength & fighting ability. Maggie was lied to and told Griffin had died and was then fired, the invisiblity program was clearly going to be used for military purposes.
Griffins initial purpose is revealed, he is trying to get himself a buffer drug (it is unclear if this reverses the invisibilty or what it actually does, they may have explained it. If they did, I missed it). The suspicion theme is played on heavily with Maggie being jumpy about the clerk at the gas station but the idea is reinforced when you see how the Military are trying to monitor and detect them.
When Maggie & Frank go to meet someone who had been sending Maggie mysterious texts they discover Griffin was not the only success in the Invisibilty experiment, it turns out there were 3 more. The 1st only lasted 8 days, their contact was number 2 and Griffin was number 3.
Lawrents, Invisible Man number 2 explains the program was hushed up to allow the Military to assassinate specific political targets until Griffin went loco and started killing anyone he felt like. The themes of paranoia and fear of the unknown or unseen are worked well with Maggie jumping at the merest noise or shadow.
Griffin kidnaps Maggies sister (although you have to wonder how he knew where she lived?) forcing Maggie to meet him with the buffer drug at the train station and the Director further compounds his camcorder night vision mistake by repeating it a second time.
The complete non-response of people to a half naked women screaming "help me" whilst being dragged by an unseen force is pretty astonishing (you'd think at least 1 good samaritan would try to intervene?) although when Frank locks himself in the store you already know he'll be leaving thanks to invisibility.
The twist occurence to the guy in charge of the Invisibility program is fast and if you blink you'll definately miss it. Theres a pretty inexcusable goof in the lab that you cant see any of Griffin's face after Maggie clearly sprays him in the eyes with paint, you can even see the paint marks around the eye holes of his mask but no trace of paint inside.
Having 2 invisible men (as Frank is now invisible as well of course) fight each other in the rain is exciting to watch but pretty damn stupid as Griffin should be in no fit state to do anything having just fallen from at least 3 floors up through a window onto solid concrete.
Griffin regaining visibilty is very cool to watch but I was too annoyed by the fact that Maggie seemed uneffected by the same dose of rat poison which she actually took before him so it should have taken effect earlier in her. Perhaps our awful Director forgot that bit of the movie that happened only a few minutes earlier.
The end is left very open with Maggie recovering in hospital (I find it unlikely that badly injured Invisible Frank would have been able to easily get her to medical attention) and a look at Frank leaving things open for another movie which would be an even worse idea than this one was.
Friday, January 9, 2009
My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 8th Jan 09
Its the 1st proper Impact of the year, I'm not sure if this was live or recorded last week. The show opens with a look at the card for Sundays Genesis PPV.
X Division Championship Semifinals - Alex Shelley vs Eric Young. With Shane Sewell as referee anything could have happened here, I must admit my prediction was Shelley to take the win purely for the rather cool idea of a Shelley vs Sabin final. Shelley had a great match with his spike DDT on Young which looked excellent. Rather predictly and as I said Shelley took the win (with an assist from Sabin). I do wonder if this is a possible split for their team at last? Bashirs beatdown on Sewell after the match was rather predictable too, am I the only one who thinks Sewell looks a bit like a young Paul Orndorff. Cornette's firing as a ref then rehiring of Sewell as a wrestler angle was an excellent swerve even if I did predict it a while back.
The MEM come out to yak on the mic, I assume Booker T doesn't smoke as he had no clue how to hold that cigarillo in his mouth.
Non-title Knockout Match - Madison Rayne vs Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed, Sojourner Bolt & Rhaka Khan). Rayne is Ashley Lane, half of the tag champions from SHIMMER so she shouldn't be a total pushover here. Rayne had all of 20 seconds worth of offence before being made to sell and job, Kong hit a shortarm clothesline then took the win off a well sold Awesome Bomb.
Robert Roode vs Matt Morgan - Roodes knee injury was utter bollocks, Rudy Charles should have called a win to Morgan by countout instead of the win by stoppage. Jay Lethal & Consequence Creed come out and cash in their Feast Or Fired Tag Title shot.
Tag Team Championship - Beer Money vs Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed. Basically this was James Storm on his own after Roode had "injured" his ankle in the match against Morgan. Not a great match but I never expect one when it involves Beer Money, Creed sold a good beatdown fron Jacqueline outside the ring (so she is still involved to some degree), Jay Lethals Lethal combination looked awful (I'm not sure if it was the camera angle or Storm not selling it) but Lethal took the win after nailing Storm with the briefcase that had contained their title shot, Lethal & Creed are new tag champions (can we PLEASE call their team Lethal Consequences? It sounds brilliant!) and I guess Abyss & Matt Morgan will be facing them at Genesis instead? (Nope, the revised match is now a 3 teams match)
BG James vs Kurt Angle - It was nice to see BG back in action and this started in a great way with him jumping Angle on the ramp serving him a great beatdown outside the ring before the match even ever got inside the ring and started. Angle turned it around after an eyerake and BG did a blade job after a "post shot", BG was selling like crazy to get Angle over in this new violent mindset. BG had a great comeback hitting an excellent pumphandle slam though Angle was right back on top again (have they renamed the Olympic Slam now, they were calling it the Angle Slam?), BG sold the German Suplex well but West & Tenay suddenly mentioned this match was no DQ when Angle had the ankle lock on. I found it odd that the guy doing the ring introductions failed to mention that bit of information. Angle won after BG tapped out of the ankle lock and the beatdown on BG by the MEM after the match was predictable but utterly pointless and earnt them no heat at all and it just left me wondering how they were going to fill the last 9 minutes of the show and I was very disappointed that they went the talking and recaps way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)