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Thursday, September 28, 2006

My TNA Monthly Catch-up, Sept - Oct 06

Impact 28th sept - Jarrett straps Lance Hoyt, Jarrett bores us on the mic & threatens Joe.

Raven Vs Joe in a borefest, West & Tenay forget Joe losing the x-div belt to Senshi (yet again) as they continue to call him "unbeaten" which he isn't.

Team 3d return to tv vs 2 no-name jobbers (Thomas Selly & Vaughan Doring - any relation to dangerous Danny Doring?) to warm them up.

Angle announced as ringside enforcer for BFG PPV.

Impact 5th Oct - Team 3d vs Kazarian & Maverick Matt. (watched by AMW, The James Gang & The Naturals).

Abyss fails to take the belt from Joe as West & Tenay continue to have memory loss about Senshi winning the x-div belt from Joe.

LAX stomp no-name jobbers (Tyler Black & Jeff Luxon) in seconds, Konnan bores us on the mic (as usual).

Eric Young in some weird 5-way match with Norman Smiley, Sharkboy and 2 of Diamonds In The Rough (Elix Skipper & David Young). Sharkboy gets the win and Eric Young is fired?

Christopher Daniels teams up with Ron Killings (who the f**k says he isn't getting good matches?) as AJ is injured to meet Christian Cage & Jeff Jarrett, Truth subs well for AJ. Jarrett steals the win after LAX interfere.

Rhyno goring Cage means Joe keeps the title belt.

Impact 12th oct - Joe gives us an NWA title history lesson.

LAX get beaten down by AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels who give it right back to 'em.

Senshi gets stuck with Williams, Shelley & Devine in yet another Jackass match he doesn't want to be in with Sharkboy joining the idiots Sabin, Dutt and Lethal.

Kevin Nash bores us on the mic (30 yr career? funny f***ker).

Truth tags with Lance Hoyt against David Young & Elix Skipper of Diamonds In The Rough with Truth making the win for his team - getting yet another good match.

Kurt Angle tells us Vince called him s**t and says he ain't seen nothing yet.

Joe vs Cage in a ladder match with West & Tenay pulling the "undefeated" b**ls**t saying no pin & no submit yet again, f**k it's getting old. Sorry to keep repeating myself but he lost his X-div title to Senshi but I have to be the memory of accuracy. A loss is a loss - there are no provisions, so f**k you Don West & Mike Tenay. Good run-ins from Abyss, Runt & Abyss. Rhyno helps Joe to keep the belt again.

Impact 19th oct - Joe is told to give the belt back or leave TNA.

Raven vs Abyss vs Runt in a preview of the monsters ball match for the upcoming PPV. Mark like a crazy ass MOTHER F**KER for Jake The Snake Roberts! The return of the 1st ever DDT! He's only going to be a f**king Ref! F**k YES!!!!!!!

Kurt Angle shows up.

Christian Cage vs Norman Smiley who jobs big time to him.

Sharkboy jobs also. Eric Young goes back to being blonde.

Senshi finally kicks some Jackass butt, Jay Lethal jobs & Sabin gets worked over big time.

Nash bores us about his battle royal. Oh and Kev, They already made Croc Dundee 3 (actually called crocodile dundee in Los angeles) you lanky f**kwit!

BG James marks for Jeff Jarrett the man. LAX & AMW meet The James gang & Aj Styles with Chris Daniels. AJ makes the pin for his team. Gail Kim takes one for AMW.

Joe refuses to turn in the belt as fans chant "Keep the title", cue Kurt Angle in an excellent entry on a lift ;-)

Jarrett finally steals the belt back & Chris Jericho's band Fozzy (named after the Muppet Bear?) get a video promo (tons of vocoder on Chris's vocals btw).

Bound For Glory Pre-show - just a bunch of boring s***ty promo vids of how we got to the BFG matches fronted by pre-taped inserts by Borash and Hemme in an empty Impact Zone. Christy Hemme must be getting used to filming inserts in an empty Impact Zone by now, She's never at tv tapings. The Fozzy vid gets another airing as well. Is Jericho coming to TNA perhaps?

Bound For Glory PPV 22nd Oct 06 - Kev Nash brings a very fake looking trophy that you know is going to get smashed over someone's back.

X-division invitational gauntlet match. Austin Starr (Who?), Sonjay Dutt, Maverick Matt, Jay Lethal, A1 (too heavy to be x div, sorry guys), Zach Gowen (in his 2nd run in TNA), Kazarian (another one who's too heavy to be x div) who eliminated sonjay dutt with the help of maverick matt, Sirelda (the girl who beat up gail kim) gets eliminated by A1 who is eliminated by
Maverick matt & Kazarian, Sharkboy, Alex Shelley, D-Ray 3000 (Who?) eliminates maverick matt with sharkboy, Johnny Devine who eliminates zach gowan, Elix Skipper, Kazarian is eliminated by Austin Starr, Midget wrestler Short Sleeve Sampson, d-ray 3000 was eliminated by Austin Starr and Alex Shelley eliminated sharkboy (both off camera), Norman Smiley, Alex Shelley eliminates short sleeve sampson, Petey Williams, Outside Ring Official Slick Johnson "eliminates" elix skipper & norman smiley (is that even legal?) and is eliminated by Petey Williams who is eliminated by Alex Shelley and Johnny Devine. johnny devine is eliminated by Austin Starr who eliminates Alex Shelley as well. Austin Starr pins jay lethal with a brain buster for the win! Amazingly the trophy isn't used as a weapon.

4-way tag match - The Naturals, The James Gang, AMW (with no gail kim) & Team 3d. Team 3d make the win. Weak Match for a PPV.

Monsters Ball no DQ - Special Ref JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS! Abyss, Brother Runt, Raven & Samoa Joe. Everyone teams up on Joe. Jake generally enjoys the show upclose and personal. Joe thru a table off the ramp, Runt onto a platform & Abyss diving on top of him from the scaffolding, Dunno why Jake tried to stop Abyss using thumbtacks (it's a no dq, idiot!). Raven
t**ts Jake, Joe puts Abyss face 1st into the tacks, Jake ddt's Raven as he's hitting Joe with a chair, Joe hits the musclebuster on Raven for the win. Raven gets a faceful of snake as the aftermath of Jake.

Loser Gets Fired From TNA - Larry Zybsco vs Eric Young - Eric Young steals the victory, obviously. Utter s**t for a PPV match.

Jim Cornette comes to talk to us (with a really sore throat). (excellent sign in the crowd - 100% Mcmahon Free). Cue Kurt Angle. Joe tries to have a go, Security splits it up. Twice. Joe begs Cornette "let me fight" and Angle rushes him. Security splits it up again.

X-Division Title Match - Senshi vs Chris Sabin. Sabin wins in a Jackass free match. Can he go back to being serious now?

8-Mile Street Fight - Rhyno vs Christian Cage. Wow, What a s**t match this was. It started in the carpark, worked through the backstage area onto the ramp finally into the ring. They may as well have billed this as a falls count anywhere no dq match. What was the 8 mile link? Was there one? Apart from the street sign? This was a real big push to make Cage a bigger heel. What was the point of the straightjacket? Excellent piledriver thru the table by rhyno on Cage. Cage's pin at the end was total and utter S**T! Could they not make a better finish than this? I assume they stopped on such a c**p finish as Rhyno's head was cut too much or he was hurt.

6 Sides Of Steel Tag Title Match - LAX vs Aj Styles & Christopher Daniels. The rematch from the last PPV. They really should have had this match last or prepared a match on tape whilst the cage was being built. Something short just to fill the space as Tenay & West were c**p at doing that. You do realise how much Konnan does when he's kept out of a match. AJ's frogsplash off the top of the cage was pretty awesome (should have been the match winner right there). LAX win with the gringo killer due to Konnan's outside interference. All the b**ls**t attacking after the match should really be an instant belt loss right there.

Heavyweight Title vs Career - Kurt Angle as Special Ring Enforcer with Sting vs Jeff Jarrett. I can't recall Angle having ever worked with either man here so this was going to be very open. Sting combined his old looks to create a new one. (How did that beardy guy in the front row get away with holding his "Screw Sting" sign?). Sting was being played as ring rusty and Jarrett
was on top at the start for a decent amount of time. Jarrett knocked a cameraman over just after having a dust-up with Angle on the outside. Jarrett managed to nail Angle with a chair (accident, but nicely set-up though). Angle knocking out the ref to take over himself was predictable rather than end by a double count out (how would that have worked then?
Sting gone and Jarrett still champ?). Stings piledriver on Jarrett was on the wrong camera showing how far his head was from canvas. Sting didn't fancy selling Jarrett's figure 2 leglock either. Sting totally punked Jarrett, no-selling the guitar shot which was an excellent "f**k you,
Jarrett" moment. Sting wins the title from the Scorpion Death Lock. Hardly no interference from Angle. West & Tenay gave JJ his props, not too sure about the claim that Jarrett held the NWA belt the most times or the longest. I think Harley Race might have that honour.

I guess this sets up future matches for Jarrett vs Angle and Angle vs Joe. Any chance of Luger and Bagwell getting back in the ring again? Teases of Jericho maybe coming to TNA (unlikely if he's still signed with WWE).