Reviews of Wrestling, Movies, TV and much more! Strong language has been censored by me for blog content

Monday, January 31, 2011

WWE Royal Rumble 2011 reviewed

Well I heard Kevin Nash & Booker T were coming back to WWE and I fancied a good laugh so I decided to see what kind of show the 'dub are capable of these days. Couple of useless facts first, its the 24th Rumble and there are 40 guys taking part instead of the usual 30. Caveat:- I haven't watched ANY WWE programming in forever so I have no idea who works where, whose friends and who isnt and I do like a swear here and there so expect langauge you might not like.

World Heavyweight Championship match, Edge vs Dolph Ziggler - Ah, the shitty old WCW title belt WWE seems to have a MASSIVE hard-on for. Dolph, 'roid much dude? I guess WWE must have been reading my old reviews as Ziggler has finally stopped wearing Psycho Sid's old jacket to the ring.

Anyway Edge can't use the Spear or he loses his title because Vicky says so. So what was with the colour desk not calling the Sharpshooter/Figure 4 Leglock? Did they not know what it was called, because none of them mentioned it? Edge won this match off a DQ on outside interference (As soon as Vicky pulled the ref the bell should have been rung there and then, Edge had already won) and pretty much ANYTHING that happened after that can be ignored but for some reason this ref didnt know his job and allowed this farce to continue.

After a crappy ref bump & Vicky out after being attacked by Kelly Kelly who ran out to stop her hitting Edge, Edge took the eventual win off Christians finisher The Unprettier or whatever WWE are calling it. Piss poor match, even worse finish for a belt WWE really need to stop competing over.

WWE Championship match, Randy Orton vs The Miz (with Alex Riley, whoever the fuck he is) - Frankly, I am surprised The Miz is holding any kind of title let alone WWE's main belt as he is the biggest waste of oxygen on the whole roster. He is basically a slightly more annoying version of Crash Holly with less talent & even less charisma. As expected Riley interfered every chance he got but after an amble down by The New Nexus, inteference from Alex Riley which earnt him flying lessons and the GTS from CM Punk on Orton Miz retained his title in yet another piss poor finish to another piss poor match.

Divas Championship 2 on 1 Handcap match, Layla & Michelle McCool vs Natalya - Never happened. Some email bullshit from someone not there and this became another match.

Divas Championship Fatal 4 Way, Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Natalya vs Eve - I have to question Layla's skill set as she wasn't even able to sell a simple clothesline from Natalya. Very weird finish with Eve taking the win to become new the Diva's Champion despite the fact Michelle McCool had Natalya pinned behind the refs back at the exact same time. Chalk that up to be the next match for Eve.

Backstage segment - Gail Kim, how have the mighty fallen? From TNA Knockout Champion to eye candy & valet brawling in a shitty backstage segment. Was that MASSIVE payment Vince gave you REALLY worth it?

Royal Rumble - Rule recap:- 2 men start, a new person enters every 90 seconds & you can only be eliminated by going over the top rope and both your feet touching the floor with the winner going on to a championship match at Wrestlemania. By clearly stating these were the only rules allowed a LOT of fucking bullshit to take place rendering the match a total waste of time.

In at #1 was CM Punk we had a TON of bullshit, more email bullshit then #2 was finally revealed to be Daniel Bryan. Not much action before #3 Justin Gabriel entered only to be eliminated by Bryan minutes later. # 4 was Zack Ryder STILL running Grand Master Sexay's gimmick? Anyway he was also gone moments later thanks to a hiptoss from Bryan. #5 was William Regal and boy is he FAT! #6 was Ted DiBiase Jr with John Morrison coming in at #7.

Morrison was flubbing from the word go, not only screwing up his ring entrance but pretty much every encounter he had in his opening 90 seconds, Regal went out thanks to DiBiase & Morrison was stuck holding on to the crowd barrier where he had to jump onto the ring steps to get back in. #8 was Yoshi Tatsu & #9 was Husky Harris (son of Mike Rotunda aka IRS) & #10 was Chavo Guerrero. Coming at #11 was Mark Henry (and I note colour are STILL pulling that "Worlds Strongest Man" bullshit? Dude, he won ONE Arnold Classic in 2002 & it wasn't even WSM affiliated so get the fuck over it?) who dumped out Chavo in seconds & Yoshi Tatsu shortly after that.

In at #12 was JTG (wasn't he the shit half of Cryme Tyme?) followed by #13 Michael McGillicutty (son of Curt Hennig aka Mr Perfect) who eliminated JTG pretty quickly & assisted Husky Harris to oust DiBiase shortly after that. Next in at #14 was Chris Masters, #15 was David Otunga, Bryan was eliminated by Punk seconds after his entrance closely followed by Masters also tossed by Punk. Morrison went next thanks to all of The New Nexus as did Henry mere moments later.

In at #16 was Tyler Reks who was thrown out by Punk seconds after his arrival, #17 was Vladimir Kozlov also slung out by Punk shortly after his entry. Unfortunate #18 was R-Truth (he got better already after that thing on the plane?) likewise tossed out by Punk, #19 was The Great Khali and from that second it was pretty sure business was about to pick up & Punks party was about to get pissed on. Harris went out next thanks to Khali and in at #20 was Mason Ryan who tossed Khali putting The New Nexus back on track.

Coming in at #21 was TNA reject Booker T who got a little bit of offence in doing the Axe Kick, a Bookend and a Spinaroonie before being slung out by Ryan. In at #22 was John Cena who put out Ryan easily closely followed by McGillicutty & Otanga together from a duel clothesline. #23 was Hornswoggle and Cena finally eliminated Punk, #24 was Tyson Kidd who took the dive curtesy of Cena.

#25 was Heath Slater, I'm not sure why the camera truck decided not to show the Tadpole Splash 1st time but Slater took his flying lesson next thanks to Cena. #26 was Kofi Kingston. #27 was Jack Swagger still looking like Owen Harts love child, #28 was Sheamus the ginger ball gobbler & licker of HHH's arse who eliminated Hornswoggle who seriously looked like he didnt want to take that bump. In at #29 was Rey Mysterio Junior who eventually eliminated Swagger, #30 was Wade Barrett in what would normally be last man position in a normal Rumble but this year we have another ten guys left to enter.

#31 was Dolph Ziggler (in his 2nd match of the night too!) and from here on in its all uncharted territory (I'd like to say for the record I typed that before the colour guy said it). #32 was TNA reject Kevin Nash running his old Diesel gimmick so that explains why he had dyed his hair & beard brown, #33 was Drew McIntyre - yet another of HHH's bootlickers. #34 was Alex Riley as Barrett eliminated Diesel & Nash got to take a nice little pile of money home for doing pretty much fuck all.

#35 was The Big Show who tossed Ziggler, Cena & Kingston eliminated Riley in the background as this was happening but they were that busy talking to The Miz no-one called it - likewise no-one called the elimination of McIntyre by Big Show (which is INSANE considering it happened right in front of the fucking colour desk!) as the entry of #36 Ezekiel Jackson was completely ignored but he eliminated Big Show by himself. What was hysterical was The Miz was bigging up Alex Riley and no-one had even noticed he'd already been eliminated, way to pay attention colour desk!

#37 was Santino Marella (possibly one of the worst workers in WWE ever in my opinion with a god awful gimmick) who was sent out under the bottom rope, #38 was Alberto Del Rio who we spent about 57 years watching on his over rated stupidly expensive entrance. At this point I'd like to point out to the guys in the WWE camera truck that the action is in the ring, NOT THE FUCKING ENTRY RAMP!

#39 was Randy Orton (meaning technically Del Rio should be eliminated as you have to actually enter the ring in the 90 seconds otherwise you get DQ'd, it also means Santino should also be DQ'd for being out of the ring for too long) and he eliminated Kingston (Santino was still lying by the ring at this point having been out of the ring almost 3 minutes so he should have been well and truly DQ'd by this point), closely followed by Sheamus.

Lucky #40 was Kane who sent out Jackson, Kane was eliminated next by Mysterio, Barrett eliminated Mysterio seconds later. Cena was ejected illegally, Alex Riley lured him to the apron and The Miz threw him out. As Riley had already been eliminated and Miz wasn't even in the match there is no possible way in hell even with kayfabe that this elimination could count, all those referee's and not one of them saw it? For some reason the refs let the elimination stand.

Orton put out Barrett and Del Rio took advantage putting out Orton as his back was turned & Del Rio was declared winner until it was pointed out Santino had never been eliminated despite having been outside the ring for almost 12 minutes (having checked Santino was outside the ring exactly 11 minutes & 59 seconds) but Del Rio tossed Santino and was finally declared the winner.

After the farce that was this years Royal Rumble it is WAY past time all the loopholes in the rules were removed. In the late 80's a rule was introduced that if you had not entered by the time the next participant after you entered it was an automatic DQ. I think it was an event where The Macho Man did not take his place and got DQ'd for it.

Clearly this rule is now gone as Del Rio would have been out under it. No participant should be allowed to remain outside the ring (if they left under the ropes) for longer than a 10 count which should also result in a DQ. No participant should be able to be eliminated by either someone already eliminated or a non participant, this would still have left Cena in the Rumble.

An event like this does nothing for the prestige that used to be The Royal Rumble.Also FAR too much time was spent by the colour desk sucking The Miz's cock to the point that several eliminations were missed due to it.
Apparently WWE need to hire new directors as the ones employed for this particular PPV were epically failing to use the right camera's to catch eliminations instead chosing to watch either the entrance ramp or the colour desk.

This shambles of a PPV wont be any kind of incentive to watch another WWE PPV any time in the near future.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Telebugs episode list

Using the information from Wikipedia and episode names from episodes myself and Samanthabug on Youtube uploaded I have tried to create a Telebugs episode list as no such thing currently exists online. I can't attest to its accuracy as I am unsure of the correct running order of episodes but I am going by what we have put online.

Wiki states 86 episodes were made in total, each was 5 minutes long.
The TVS website states "85 five minute episodes were made between 1983 and 1987" which makes things confusing.
* Series 1: 26 editions from 6 January 1986 - 10 February 1986
* Series 2: 40 editions from 10 November 1986 - 16 January 1987
* Series 3: 20 editions from 17 November 1987 - 16 December 1987

1 Angel Brain
2 Apple Hi
3 Fair Play
4 Jupiter Moon
5 Danger
6 Zudo Bug
7 Signal Seizure
8 Sub Snack
9 Pirate Power
10 Robocars
11 Magnetic Madness
12 Flood
13 Flight Plan
14 Lethal Lift Off
15 Professor In Danger
16 Oil Strike
17 Hijack Hijacker
18 Bank Byte
19 City Stopper
20 Telebugs Strike Back
21 Return Of Zudo
22 TV Terror
23 Complex Confusion (All episodes up to here were capped by Samanthabug & are available on her Youtube Page)
24 Digger Dumped
25 Enter The Professor
26 Zap Code

27 Space Age Snooker
28 Culture Crazy
29 Arcadia Goes West
30 Panel Panic
31 Lifo Makes Friends
32 Lifo To The Rescue
33 The Gate Of Swords
34 Battle Of The Air
35 Ordeal By Fire
36 The Lake
37 The Shrinking Cage
38 Magic Megaliths
39 Monster Mash
40 Castle Creepers (All episodes up to here were capped by gibbonduder [aka ME!] & are available on my youtube page)

41 Telesonic Rock
42 Digger Decoy
43 Tea Party
44 Disarray
45 Mulch To The Rescue (I believe these episodes were capped by Zudobug as a 2 part story arc but no longer appear to be on Youtube, I will attempt to split them back into individual parts & put them back online)

The following episode titles are known but currently not available online:-
46 Lebab Goes Ape
47 Shadow Of The Past
48 Star Venture
49 Angel Overboard
50 The Binods
51 Eclipse
52 Cosmic Castaway
53 Time Shift
54 Colussus
55 All Hail Bug
56 Bait For The BADZ
57 Brain Lock
58 Holographic Holiday
59 Palace Of Science
60 Pyramid Pyrotechnics (must come before Magic Megaliths?)
61 Flame Out
62 Peanut Icicles
63 Zombie Profs

As you can see this leaves at least another 22 episodes with unknown titles which are also unaccounted for & unavailable.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Ghost Hunters International S02E20 reviewed

According to our title graphic the team is:-

Barry Fitzgerald - Lead Investigator
Kris Williams - Investigator
Paul Bradford - Tech Manager
Joe Chinn - Investigator
Britt Griffith - Investigator
Susan Slaughter - Investigator In Training

Kronborg Castle - Helsingor, Denmark

CAVEAT - I've no actual intention of coming back to doing reviews full time but I wanted to review this first show to see how the new group dynamic works, whether I decide to review any more of the season is a bridge I will cross when I reach it. Please note all opinions are my own and I definately do NOT work for Syfy, nor do I have any specific agendas or biases. I say what I say because its what I think based on what I am seeing on the show.

This is our 1st show back after the hiatus and it's all change in the GHI team line-up as you have already seen. Former leader Robb is gone with Barry promoted in his place. Initially Britt was going to be doing that job but he ruined his chances after making a rather foolish statement on the radio so some rapid reshuffling was done to shoehorn Barry into the leadership role.

Paul has been made Tech Manager and you have to wonder how he got that over Joe Chinn. Kris Williams was alledgedly brought in to be the case manager but its pretty clear that Susan Slaughter is still filling this role (and is WAY overdue losing her "in training" tag from the title graphic, continuing to say she's still in training when she is case manager is extremely insulting to her ability).

Barry & Kris in the Ballroom - It was pretty clear that there weren't anywhere near enough IR illuminators in this room to do the job, I'm not sure if this is down to not researching the location well enough or a lack of equipment due to budget. I can't say as I heard any of the things Kris was hearing (mainly due to our old bugbear the stupid incidental soundtrack). As per usual the first sighting of anything was off camera (and the camera guy has to take the blame and be fired over that, he had 2 people he could have filmed and he was filming neither of them).

Joe & Britt in the Royal Living Space - Considering how much emphasis GHA put on cadets with tagging rogue sounds there was a distinct lack on tagging random bangs coming from either Joe or Britt, both of whom you'd expect to know better from their level of experience. In answer to Joe's question it was just the wind howling. I also have no clue what made Joe Chinn swear (most unlike him, he is normally very level headed and unflappable).

Paul & Susan in the Dungeon - Paul had set up an experiment to document battery drainage using a multi-meter. I didnt hear the voice Paul mentioned, I'd also like to ask Susan how she saw a shadow if it was pitch black (her words, not mine!). Google matrixing dear. I didn't hear any breathing nor did I hear any footsteps (which neither of them mentioned but Susan said there were some during her piece to camera, odd that neither of them said anything during the shot).

Barry & Kris in Queen Sophie's Room - Both of them stopped prior to entering the room then claimed they saw something move which can't be substantiated in any way as the Pilgrim camera guy was WAY behind them. Score yet another point for helmet cams I guess. Whats very annoying is Kris had a camera in her hand yet the director chose to use the worst shot he had from his "useless cam" which is what the Pilgrim crew really ought to be labelled as. The sound that Kris had "no idea what that was" was clearly a door or gate, something on squeaky hinges, possibly something wooden like a chair being moved slightly.

Joe & Britt in the Dungeon - I am guessing the sound Joe couldn't ID during their EVP was dripping water, and when Britt asked "do you hear that?" all we could hear was his stomping feet as he went crashing towards whatever he thought he heard. I did hear something before Britt reacted (It didn't sound like rocks being thrown though) and I certainly didnt hear any voices but I did hear debris falling (the sound Joe reacted to by moving towards it).

Barry & Kris in the Dungeon - Which they went to after seeing some weird stuff happening there from Central Command. They did an EVP, we couldnt hear whatever they heard (incidental soundtrack strikes again).

Joe & Britt in the Chapel - I'd like to ask Pilgrim to fire whoever is responsible for putting up the location graphics as during this show they were INCREDIBLY slow off the mark numerous times and the investigators themselves were telling us their location either before or as the location graphic was being displayed. Buck your ideas up whoever you are, it just makes you seem lazy and disinterested. By this location Britt was just phoning it in, he wasn't carrying ANY equipment and he had both his hands in his jacket pockets. Britt, you do know that there are MILLIONS of fans who would kill to be in your position and there you were looking like you couldn't have cared less about investigating.

It makes me happy they fired you but frankly in my opinion they didn't do it soon enough. Why you were in line for Robbs job as GHI leader is beyond me, I have to assume that like Steve & Tango you now also have some sort of dirt on Grant or Jason that they wouldn't want going public which is how such a slacker was being suggested as GHI boss.

Britt sees some light (off camera, as per usual) then they start asking about a chandelier shaking which with no open windows is pretty odd and its the only one in the room that was moving.

Paul & Susan on the 2nd Floor - Susan thinks she sees a light anomaly, I did see it just after she said "there it goes again" and it turns out to be lens flare due to a new wide angle lens on the mini dv camera.

Everyone in the Ballroom - Testing out something called The Singapore Theory (after Googling what the heck it was) or what Brad & Barry Klinge refer to as "Era Cues", Barry did eventually explain what it was. Britt reported seeing shadows moving (nope, no cameras facing in that direction at all as usual).

The Analysis - Joe presents footage of him & Britt in the Dungeon capturing a voice saying "ok". Britt presents footage of some weird lights in the Dungeon.

The Reveal - Barry commits the cardinal no-no of citing personal experiences as evidence as does Kris. I dont care if she says Joe & Britt saw it too, if its not on tape it didn't happen - 1st law of Ghost Hunting. Footage of Britt & Joe with the shaking chandelier, whats annoying is Joe says its the only one shaking then doesnt bother to prove it which would have taken seconds. Audio from Kris & Barry in the chapel, they get a breath in answer to a question, the client thinks it says "go". Audio from Joe & Britt in the Dungeon, a voice saying "ok".

Footage of the battery drain experiment in the Dungeon, we see unexplained pulses of light. We also see the flashlight being used in the drain experiment move, the temperature rises and the EMF goes up too.

Not a great first show back with the new line-up, I was left wondering on where Scott Tepperman was too.

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Traveller

London, 2011. The landing was easy, done with the experience of one who'd performed it so many times he could probably do it in his sleep. No, he'd better not say that out loud. Somewhere in another reality there probably WAS an alternate version of him checking reality anomalies which required landing whilst asleep.

He fired up the computer. Fantastic, this reality had Wi-Fi and an Internet. Well that would make his job that much easier and quicker. Brilliant, it even had a Wikipedia. At least it was better than that last place, heck they hadn't even had a space program so no satellites, no GPS and sadly no Internet. He'd had to do all his research in libraries, eventually locating the anomaly - Werner Von Braun had died as a baby so no rocket research. He'd been glad to leave there but London had looked so different without any Blitzkrieg, it looked old was what it looked.

"Anyway" he thought, "back to here". Dickens had lived, Kennedy had been assassinated, Von Braun here too as well as the many other names he knew to check from his previous trips. Minutes of looking became hours which became days then weeks. After 8 months he finally hit the jackpot under music. Somehow that guy was still alive in 2011! There he was, the required anomaly, large as life when he should have been long dead.

Elvis Presley, still alive and still performing when the traveller knew full well he had died in 1977. Reading further it appeared this Elvis wasn't just ONE anomaly, he was several. The third line of his Wikipedia entry read 'Born in Newport, Wales, Presley moved to Cardiff, Wales with his family at the age of 13' and then the realisation struck the traveller. This was not the superstar he had known from his own world.

Reading about Elvis he discovered that 'Jesse Garon Presley took the name of his twin brother Elvis for his stage name as a tribute to his memory after he was killed in a car crash in January of 1940'. Wow, no original Elvis and his brother had lived to replace him! For another week he left the computer program logging the various anomalies concerning the 'New Elvis' as the traveller now thought of him, his appearance at Live Aid which relaunched his career to an entirely new generation and his massive donations to many charitable organizations.

The traveller skimmed through the data, amending where necessary before a particular entry caught his eye. 'Presley miraculously survived being killed in the September 11th bombings at the World Trade Centre. It appeared he had been booked to play a short corporate gig in the Windows on the World restaurant located in the North Tower. Despite calling the venue to make them aware he was suffering from severe stomach flu Elvis promised he would perform that day. Elvis had arranged for a car to take him from his hotel to the World Trade Centre but the car had engine problems which was later discovered to be an oil leak. This incident left Presley stranded over 2 miles from his destination.'

With this final anomaly logged and appended all that remained was for the traveller to advise Elvis of his presence here and the delivery of the correct time line. After his performance at the Welsh Assembly the traveller approached Presley and presented his credentials. "I've been expecting you for quite some time" Elvis said to the traveller which threw him off balance. Presley reached into his jacket pulling out his wallet.

"Research Anomaly Division, Interception Branch" said Presley flashing him a badge the traveller instantly recognised from his training. Elvis passed him a small data device which the traveller took and inserted into his log. It informed him that in his own reality the ability to travel between parallel Universes should not have been discovered for another 200 years and that all current field agents were being recalled prior to amendment.

The traveller in turn gave Elvis his own data cube he had been compiling. Presley didn't appear to be surprised by the information. "They told me when I was hired to wait for you. I was the meta anomaly. They said I should have died at birth, should have been born in America. It was why I took my brothers name, I knew eventually you would spot the many inaccuracies. It just made it easier for me to make incursions that would lead you to me."

The traveller returned to his vehicle and logged the data cube Presley had given him. As he was preparing to jump to his own reality his screen flashed one final message from Elvis. "Thank you very much. Elvis has left this reality". The traveller jumped for the final time saddened that he would never remember this meeting as it would never have happened.

During the jump the traveller recorded his final voice log "Final jump back to reality. Apparently we shouldn't have discovered parallel Universes yet so we are all being recalled home prior to Amendment. I wonder what my new life will turn out to be. Agent Bruce Springsteen, final entry".

The End.