Impact 29th May 08 - show opens with Team 3D & Booker T boring us on the mic. With 17+ minutes worth of talking. Thats enough for a match!
Tag Match, Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal. Basically this is a match that came about due to some issue during an interview segment last week or the week before. Jay Lethal took the win off Jimmy Rave, possibly one of the worst matches Lethal & Dutt have had in a very long time. Dutt says he'll be best man, Socal Val looks as hot as hell in Ace Young's video. Socal Val in black bra & French knickers is the high point of this Impact. Speaks volumes.
Knockout Match - Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky in tow as per usual) vs Roxxi. I absolutely love & adore the new tougher gothic looking Roxxi who was getting excellent reactions from the crowd, their obviously loving Roxxi version 2 as much as me. Roxxi was on top for most of this but Love got the win after Sky "sprayed her in the face" with hairspray. It took ODB to make the save from a post match beatdown from The Beautiful People.
Raisha Saeed & Awesome Kong throw out the $25,000 challenge to the fans again like last week. Awesome Kong vs Lieva Bates (spelling?) from Madisonville, Kentucky. We at least got a bit more of an offense from this girl than last weeks jobber. Bates took a much bigger beatdown but Kong took the win with yet another badly botched looking Awesome Bomb.
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, James Storm vs Rhino. This one started in the backstage area but finally reached the Impact zone, more a hardcore match but it eventally hit the ring and the match started officially. This went a little too long in the ring for my liking, Rhino took the eventual win.
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, Tomko vs Christian Cage. Tomko took this one to Cage from the get go and was on top for most of it. Cage took the eventual win, it wasn't very good at all though.
AJ Styles gets the tar beaten out of him by Kurt Angle backstage who then comes out to waffle on to Karen. Blah, Blah, blah, blah! No-one cares about this! The beatdown of the faces by the heels is an exact repeat of how the show ended last week. And that was a dire Impact too! It appears Russo has finally killed TNA.
All this weeks matches were utter garbage, even the X Division & The Knockouts couldn't save this. Their only jobbing Kong to the fans because they think it's an over idea. NEWSFLASH - IT'S NOT! Jay Lethal is now struggling to do his Macho Man impression which gets worse by the week. Why don't they just cut to the "Megapowers collide" match with him versus Sonjay Dutt for who gets Socal Val so we can get this STUPID and incredibly lame gimmick finally over and done with. Lethal & Dutt can go back to being themselves.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
My TNA Weekly Catch-up, Impact 22nd may 08
The usual caveats apply, the views expressed are my own. If you don't like what I say or how I say it (because I am known to swear) then don't read this. I will answer all feedback (and welcome it).
Impact 22nd May 08 - Tag Match, Brother Ray vs Homicide. This was actually a semi-decent match before Devon ran in. It was thrown out as a DQ on Ray for outside interference. Devon prevented the pin that was almost a clean win. Hernandez made the save there & Booker T stopped that save. They should have let this go to a clean win for Homicide with a post match beatdown from Team 3D. TNA is in sad state when even I can write better matches than Russo.
Knockout Match - Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) vs ODB. A nice if somewhat short match, ODB on top for most of the match but Angelina Love getting the win after Velvet Sky hit her with the flask. A Russo inspired finish there or what? Rudy Charles totally deserved that Voodoo drop from Roxxi, did anyone else think it was utter bull that he didn't intervene when Love had the shears on ODB though? I wish ref's were more consistant, be it kayfabe or not.
Samoa Joe's 4 choices for the King Of The Mountain Qualifiers - AJ Styles, Rhino, Christian Cage & Booker T (Kevin Nash was expecting Joe to pick him?).
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, Robert Roode vs Matt Morgan. Not a match I expected anything from & was proved to be right. Roode got the win by using the ropes but would have won as I suspect Hebner was going to DQ Morgan for picking him up like that.
Some Kurt & Karen Angle storyline rubbish that no-one ever wanted to watch & was never a good idea ever anyway.
Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed challenge female fans over 18 in the Impact zone to beat Kong & win $25,000. (I assume the girl who volunteered was also the voice off-camera we heard screaming "I need time!" just before the challenge was read out as she wasn't in position yet?)
Awesome Kong vs Melissa Wilfred of Eerie, Pennsylvania (there's more than 1 place called Eerie? I thought it was in Indiana). Kong won with a very badly botched Awesome bomb. If Wilfred was a jobber then she wasn't a very good one as she contributed a lot to the utter screw up of the Awesome bomb by smashing herself in the face with her own knee. She didn't give any real offensive so if she was a jobber I assume she was told to do nothing against Kong.
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, Booker T vs AJ Styles. Awful match, Booker T won with the assist from Tomko.
The post match beatdown was a lot more interesting than the actual match. Karen Angle coming to AJ's rescue was getting lots of boos & thumbs down from the crowd (they cut away from that reaction shot VERY quickly!). Styles must have been bleeding like crazy as his blood was everywhere, it was over Karen's top, Tomko's fists & Brother Ray's face. Not a very good Impact at all this week. Matches were well below the usual standards. ODB made this Impact a LOT better with her interview & match.
Impact 22nd May 08 - Tag Match, Brother Ray vs Homicide. This was actually a semi-decent match before Devon ran in. It was thrown out as a DQ on Ray for outside interference. Devon prevented the pin that was almost a clean win. Hernandez made the save there & Booker T stopped that save. They should have let this go to a clean win for Homicide with a post match beatdown from Team 3D. TNA is in sad state when even I can write better matches than Russo.
Knockout Match - Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) vs ODB. A nice if somewhat short match, ODB on top for most of the match but Angelina Love getting the win after Velvet Sky hit her with the flask. A Russo inspired finish there or what? Rudy Charles totally deserved that Voodoo drop from Roxxi, did anyone else think it was utter bull that he didn't intervene when Love had the shears on ODB though? I wish ref's were more consistant, be it kayfabe or not.
Samoa Joe's 4 choices for the King Of The Mountain Qualifiers - AJ Styles, Rhino, Christian Cage & Booker T (Kevin Nash was expecting Joe to pick him?).
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, Robert Roode vs Matt Morgan. Not a match I expected anything from & was proved to be right. Roode got the win by using the ropes but would have won as I suspect Hebner was going to DQ Morgan for picking him up like that.
Some Kurt & Karen Angle storyline rubbish that no-one ever wanted to watch & was never a good idea ever anyway.
Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed challenge female fans over 18 in the Impact zone to beat Kong & win $25,000. (I assume the girl who volunteered was also the voice off-camera we heard screaming "I need time!" just before the challenge was read out as she wasn't in position yet?)
Awesome Kong vs Melissa Wilfred of Eerie, Pennsylvania (there's more than 1 place called Eerie? I thought it was in Indiana). Kong won with a very badly botched Awesome bomb. If Wilfred was a jobber then she wasn't a very good one as she contributed a lot to the utter screw up of the Awesome bomb by smashing herself in the face with her own knee. She didn't give any real offensive so if she was a jobber I assume she was told to do nothing against Kong.
King Of The Mountain Qualifying Match, Booker T vs AJ Styles. Awful match, Booker T won with the assist from Tomko.
The post match beatdown was a lot more interesting than the actual match. Karen Angle coming to AJ's rescue was getting lots of boos & thumbs down from the crowd (they cut away from that reaction shot VERY quickly!). Styles must have been bleeding like crazy as his blood was everywhere, it was over Karen's top, Tomko's fists & Brother Ray's face. Not a very good Impact at all this week. Matches were well below the usual standards. ODB made this Impact a LOT better with her interview & match.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
My TNA Weekly Catch-up, Impact 15th May 08
The usual caveats apply, the views expressed are my own. I only speak about things I find interesting or feel will advance the brand of TNA. Interviews, video inserts & other non-wrestling related rubbish will normally not get a mention unless I feel the need to clarify something or complain about something. I have been known to swear before & almost certainly will again. If my views or how I state them offend then don't read this. All feedback will be answered.
TNA Impact 15th May 2008 - Show opens with Samoa Joe giving us Jim Cornette's 4 choices for the King Of The Mountain Match @ the upcoming Slammiversary PPV. They are Robert Roode (why are they still pushing this idiot?), James Storm (STILL pushing him too?), Tomko & Matt Morgan (shouldn't he have to actually fight someone worth beating before he gets into a match like this?). When Booker T came into the ring was that Eric Young in the crowd wearing sunglasses giving the thumbs up & down right behind Booker & Joe?
6 Man Tag Match, Lance Hoyt, Jimmy Rave & Johnny Devine vs Kaz, Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt. An extremely short match with Kaz getting the win off Lance Hoyt. I dont even want to discuss the post match storyline from WWF circa 1991. Everyone knows I think Lethals gimmick is dire & we predicted something like this idea being mooted the week they debuted his Machismo gimmick.
TNA Knockout Womens Championship, Gail Kim vs Awesome Kong. Was Kong supposed to go with that 1st hurricanrana from Kim & decided against it at the last minute? (Whatever happened there Kong made them both look stupid by not taking the move! I think Kong either screwed up or decided at the last second she wasn't going to put that move over). Likewise when Kong went for the 1st Awesome Bomb & Kim reversed into a rollover attempt did Kong deliberately decide to not let Kim do that move too? Gail Kim sold everything despite Kong's unwillingness to take half her moves (Kong is going to have made no friends amongst the Knockouts by pulling this kind of thing, expect LOTS of people no-selling her from today onwards!). Kong was basically taking the mickey by the time she totally no-sold Kim's knees to the face. Kong got the win after Angelina Love's interference. Quiet frankly I'm amazed there was no booing or chants of "B*lls**t!" after this match from the normally very observant crowd. I do expect Kong to receive a severe dressing down backstage for her total unwillingness to take certain moves from Gail Kim.
Kurt Angle bores us on the mic. It's storylines like this we DON'T need & we don't want in TNA.
Tag Match, The Motor City Machine Guns vs LAX (with Salinas & Hector Guerrerro). Shelley & Sabin are a great team who are always happy to put anyone over for the sake of the company. LAX may have taken the win but yet again The Guns were the much better team, selling well & putting their opponants over big time.
Knockout Tag Match, Angeline Love & Velvet Sky (Now collectively & officially calling themselves The Beautiful People) vs ODB & Roxxi (who seems to have changed her image since the head shave & dropped the Laveaux name - thankfully, it's incredibly hard to type & get right 1st time every time!). This match was pretty much all about the repackaged Roxxi showing her stuff & getting over by working well and lalso ooking impressive. Velvet Sky got the pin on ODB with an assist from Love as the ref was checking on Roxxi.
6 Man Tag Match, Team 3D & Booker T (carrying on his pointless heel turn) vs Rhino, Christian Cage & Samoa Joe. Basically this match was made by Booker T at the top of the show. Not a great match. Samoa Joe took the win off Devon with Team 3D taking out their post match frustration on Hector Guerrerro.
TNA Impact 15th May 2008 - Show opens with Samoa Joe giving us Jim Cornette's 4 choices for the King Of The Mountain Match @ the upcoming Slammiversary PPV. They are Robert Roode (why are they still pushing this idiot?), James Storm (STILL pushing him too?), Tomko & Matt Morgan (shouldn't he have to actually fight someone worth beating before he gets into a match like this?). When Booker T came into the ring was that Eric Young in the crowd wearing sunglasses giving the thumbs up & down right behind Booker & Joe?
6 Man Tag Match, Lance Hoyt, Jimmy Rave & Johnny Devine vs Kaz, Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt. An extremely short match with Kaz getting the win off Lance Hoyt. I dont even want to discuss the post match storyline from WWF circa 1991. Everyone knows I think Lethals gimmick is dire & we predicted something like this idea being mooted the week they debuted his Machismo gimmick.
TNA Knockout Womens Championship, Gail Kim vs Awesome Kong. Was Kong supposed to go with that 1st hurricanrana from Kim & decided against it at the last minute? (Whatever happened there Kong made them both look stupid by not taking the move! I think Kong either screwed up or decided at the last second she wasn't going to put that move over). Likewise when Kong went for the 1st Awesome Bomb & Kim reversed into a rollover attempt did Kong deliberately decide to not let Kim do that move too? Gail Kim sold everything despite Kong's unwillingness to take half her moves (Kong is going to have made no friends amongst the Knockouts by pulling this kind of thing, expect LOTS of people no-selling her from today onwards!). Kong was basically taking the mickey by the time she totally no-sold Kim's knees to the face. Kong got the win after Angelina Love's interference. Quiet frankly I'm amazed there was no booing or chants of "B*lls**t!" after this match from the normally very observant crowd. I do expect Kong to receive a severe dressing down backstage for her total unwillingness to take certain moves from Gail Kim.
Kurt Angle bores us on the mic. It's storylines like this we DON'T need & we don't want in TNA.
Tag Match, The Motor City Machine Guns vs LAX (with Salinas & Hector Guerrerro). Shelley & Sabin are a great team who are always happy to put anyone over for the sake of the company. LAX may have taken the win but yet again The Guns were the much better team, selling well & putting their opponants over big time.
Knockout Tag Match, Angeline Love & Velvet Sky (Now collectively & officially calling themselves The Beautiful People) vs ODB & Roxxi (who seems to have changed her image since the head shave & dropped the Laveaux name - thankfully, it's incredibly hard to type & get right 1st time every time!). This match was pretty much all about the repackaged Roxxi showing her stuff & getting over by working well and lalso ooking impressive. Velvet Sky got the pin on ODB with an assist from Love as the ref was checking on Roxxi.
6 Man Tag Match, Team 3D & Booker T (carrying on his pointless heel turn) vs Rhino, Christian Cage & Samoa Joe. Basically this match was made by Booker T at the top of the show. Not a great match. Samoa Joe took the win off Devon with Team 3D taking out their post match frustration on Hector Guerrerro.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
ECW 13th May 2008 reviewed
CM Punk vs The Miz. Was there no air conditioning in the arena? The smoke from the shows opening pyro took forever to clear, it was like watching a match through fog! The Miz took the win.
6 Diva Tag Match - Kelly Kelly, Michelle & Cherry vs Layla, Victoria & Natalaya - Well, the smoke STILL hadn't cleared by the start of this match either. Cherry took the win off Victoria with a roll-up. Scrappy match at best, shame there wasn't MORE smoke actually.
Colin "sorry I stole Mikey Whipwrecks gimmick" Delaney vs Mike Knox - Knox took the dire predictable win. This guy will earn no respect until he's actually fought someone worth beating. Until then, just like Vladimir Kozlov, he's a c**t.
Colin Delaney vs Armando Estrada - Estrada took a pointless & equally meaningless win.
John Morrison vs Kane - Awful match & WAY too long, neither guy had the ability to carry this match for its duration. Morrison got the win after hitting Kane with the tag belt as Miz distracted the ref.
6 Diva Tag Match - Kelly Kelly, Michelle & Cherry vs Layla, Victoria & Natalaya - Well, the smoke STILL hadn't cleared by the start of this match either. Cherry took the win off Victoria with a roll-up. Scrappy match at best, shame there wasn't MORE smoke actually.
Colin "sorry I stole Mikey Whipwrecks gimmick" Delaney vs Mike Knox - Knox took the dire predictable win. This guy will earn no respect until he's actually fought someone worth beating. Until then, just like Vladimir Kozlov, he's a c**t.
Colin Delaney vs Armando Estrada - Estrada took a pointless & equally meaningless win.
John Morrison vs Kane - Awful match & WAY too long, neither guy had the ability to carry this match for its duration. Morrison got the win after hitting Kane with the tag belt as Miz distracted the ref.
Monday, May 12, 2008
WWE Monday Night Raw 12th May 08 reviewed
Show starts with Regal apparently making Lillian sing "God Save The Queen". Like he's going to earn any respect from that?
Tag Title Match, Santino Marella & Carlito vs Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes. With Rowdy Roddy Piper @ ringside you knew at some point he was going to offer an assist to Rhodes & Holly, sure enough Piper distracted Santino & Rhodes nailed him with a scrappy looking DDT that Santino didn't sell at all. Rhodes took the win & his team retain the titles.
Mr Kennedy comes out to bore us on the mic. He's doing nothing that The Rock wasn't doing much better & less annoying. Mr Kennedy vs Snitsky, Awful match with Kennedy taking the win.
Diva Tag Match, Melina & Beth Phoenix vs Mickie James vs Maria. Mickie James took the win off a reverse neckbreaker on Melina after Beth Phoenix walked off back up the ramp.
Y2J comes out & bores us on the mic with Shawn Michaels.
Jeff Hardy (finally back from his drugs issues then?) gets put into a match with Umaga. Hardy took the win.
Tag Match, Cryme Tyme vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch. Murdoch took the win for his team. Some post match garbage.
Randy Orton vs John Cena. Now this wasn't a very good match & it got even worse when Regal sent JBL down to replace the ref. Orton got the win after JBL made the worlds fastest 3 count
UTTER UTTER S**T! The Orton & HHH minute in an unsecured cage was pretty s**t too. That cage had been there the whole show, why didn't they just make Cena vs Orton a cage match then it WOULD have been secured.
Tag Title Match, Santino Marella & Carlito vs Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes. With Rowdy Roddy Piper @ ringside you knew at some point he was going to offer an assist to Rhodes & Holly, sure enough Piper distracted Santino & Rhodes nailed him with a scrappy looking DDT that Santino didn't sell at all. Rhodes took the win & his team retain the titles.
Mr Kennedy comes out to bore us on the mic. He's doing nothing that The Rock wasn't doing much better & less annoying. Mr Kennedy vs Snitsky, Awful match with Kennedy taking the win.
Diva Tag Match, Melina & Beth Phoenix vs Mickie James vs Maria. Mickie James took the win off a reverse neckbreaker on Melina after Beth Phoenix walked off back up the ramp.
Y2J comes out & bores us on the mic with Shawn Michaels.
Jeff Hardy (finally back from his drugs issues then?) gets put into a match with Umaga. Hardy took the win.
Tag Match, Cryme Tyme vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch. Murdoch took the win for his team. Some post match garbage.
Randy Orton vs John Cena. Now this wasn't a very good match & it got even worse when Regal sent JBL down to replace the ref. Orton got the win after JBL made the worlds fastest 3 count
UTTER UTTER S**T! The Orton & HHH minute in an unsecured cage was pretty s**t too. That cage had been there the whole show, why didn't they just make Cena vs Orton a cage match then it WOULD have been secured.
Friday, May 9, 2008
WWE Friday Night Smackdown 9th May 08 reviewed
Usual caveats apply:- my views, my words & no apologies. If you don't like what I say or how I say it then don't read the reviews. Any feedback on the reviews will be answered.
I couldn't be bothered to review this last night, I almost didn't want to watch this at all what with last weeks shows. Show opens with Vickie Guerrerro boring us on the mic. Hasn't someone already said they revealed the wheelchair angle as a fake a while back? If so, why are they still running it?
Championship Chase Match, Matt Hardy vs CM Punk. Possibly the THE WORST pairing to start this off with as it doesn't really matter of either of them lose. If Hardy loses he still has the US Title, if Punk loses he still has his Money In The Bank guarenteed ANY title shot to cash in so this match is not only a waste of tv time, it's also pointless for both men involved. Matt Hardy took the pointless win & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, MVP vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle). Well you knew there was going to be interference the second Hornswoggle went under the ring. The match is called a draw (so either both men advance or neither do). No decision was made at the time.
Divas Contest, Kelly Kelly vs Natalya. Actually a good match from the women & with Victoria screaming "Beautiful!" from ringside it was shades of Jimmy Hart & Natalya got the win off the Sharpshooter. I mark for her doing that move!
Vickie announces that BOTH Finlay & MVP will advance to the final from their drawn match.
Championship Chase Match, John Morrison vs Batista. Batista won & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, The Big Show vs Tommy Dreamer. Big Show won & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, Chavo Guerrerro (with Bam Neely) vs Kane. Kane won & advances to the final.
Vladimir Kozlov vs Phil Atlas. Yet another jobber working against Kozlov in yet another squash match? Kozlov wins against yet another unknown. Until he beats someone ANYONE has heard of then he's a useless idiot with a meaningless winning streak and nothing more.
Championship Chase Over The Top Rope Challenge, Big Show vs MVP vs Kane vs Finlay vs Matt Hardy vs Batista. Basic Battle Royale rules apply here (you must be put over the top rope & BOTH feet must touch the floor) with the last man standing going on to meet The Undertaker for the vacant title at the next PPV. MVP eliminated Hatt Hardy, Kane eliminated Finlay, MVP eliminated himself (twat!), Big Show eliminated Kane & Batista eliminated The Big Show to win & will face the Undertaker for the heavyweight title @ Judgement Day.
Vickie announced Edge has"now been medically cleared", oh thats handy for Edge isn't it? Even the dumbest mark isn't going to eat that kind of s**t, WWE! To get to Judgement Day & be fair to all the other men involved in tonights contest Edge should have to fight 1 standard match against any one of the losers (winning to qualify of course) AND win a Battle Royale too. Otherwise he can f**k right off as can Vickie, as can WWE Uncreative.
Edge runs down & pushes Batista off the apron to claim a victory. But I have a problem with that.
A few points. In order to have won the championship chase Edge would have had to have been involved in a match. Seeing as no bell was rung to start this match against Batista, Edge can NOT be declared the winner. In ANY Universe. Likewise lets review the rules again - Basic Battle Royale rules state (you must be put over the top rope & BOTH feet must touch the floor), at no point did Edge put Batista over the top rope. Kayfabe may state Edge won this but he never fought a match, no opening bell, no qualifier, & didn't put anyone over a top rope either therefore NO WIN so I will not be saying Edge won because even a blind retard can see he didn't even remotely qualify or get even close.
F**K YOU WWE CREATIVE! You must think we're stupid.
I couldn't be bothered to review this last night, I almost didn't want to watch this at all what with last weeks shows. Show opens with Vickie Guerrerro boring us on the mic. Hasn't someone already said they revealed the wheelchair angle as a fake a while back? If so, why are they still running it?
Championship Chase Match, Matt Hardy vs CM Punk. Possibly the THE WORST pairing to start this off with as it doesn't really matter of either of them lose. If Hardy loses he still has the US Title, if Punk loses he still has his Money In The Bank guarenteed ANY title shot to cash in so this match is not only a waste of tv time, it's also pointless for both men involved. Matt Hardy took the pointless win & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, MVP vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle). Well you knew there was going to be interference the second Hornswoggle went under the ring. The match is called a draw (so either both men advance or neither do). No decision was made at the time.
Divas Contest, Kelly Kelly vs Natalya. Actually a good match from the women & with Victoria screaming "Beautiful!" from ringside it was shades of Jimmy Hart & Natalya got the win off the Sharpshooter. I mark for her doing that move!
Vickie announces that BOTH Finlay & MVP will advance to the final from their drawn match.
Championship Chase Match, John Morrison vs Batista. Batista won & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, The Big Show vs Tommy Dreamer. Big Show won & advances to the final.
Championship Chase Match, Chavo Guerrerro (with Bam Neely) vs Kane. Kane won & advances to the final.
Vladimir Kozlov vs Phil Atlas. Yet another jobber working against Kozlov in yet another squash match? Kozlov wins against yet another unknown. Until he beats someone ANYONE has heard of then he's a useless idiot with a meaningless winning streak and nothing more.
Championship Chase Over The Top Rope Challenge, Big Show vs MVP vs Kane vs Finlay vs Matt Hardy vs Batista. Basic Battle Royale rules apply here (you must be put over the top rope & BOTH feet must touch the floor) with the last man standing going on to meet The Undertaker for the vacant title at the next PPV. MVP eliminated Hatt Hardy, Kane eliminated Finlay, MVP eliminated himself (twat!), Big Show eliminated Kane & Batista eliminated The Big Show to win & will face the Undertaker for the heavyweight title @ Judgement Day.
Vickie announced Edge has"now been medically cleared", oh thats handy for Edge isn't it? Even the dumbest mark isn't going to eat that kind of s**t, WWE! To get to Judgement Day & be fair to all the other men involved in tonights contest Edge should have to fight 1 standard match against any one of the losers (winning to qualify of course) AND win a Battle Royale too. Otherwise he can f**k right off as can Vickie, as can WWE Uncreative.
Edge runs down & pushes Batista off the apron to claim a victory. But I have a problem with that.
A few points. In order to have won the championship chase Edge would have had to have been involved in a match. Seeing as no bell was rung to start this match against Batista, Edge can NOT be declared the winner. In ANY Universe. Likewise lets review the rules again - Basic Battle Royale rules state (you must be put over the top rope & BOTH feet must touch the floor), at no point did Edge put Batista over the top rope. Kayfabe may state Edge won this but he never fought a match, no opening bell, no qualifier, & didn't put anyone over a top rope either therefore NO WIN so I will not be saying Edge won because even a blind retard can see he didn't even remotely qualify or get even close.
F**K YOU WWE CREATIVE! You must think we're stupid.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
My TNA Weekly Catch-up, Impact 8th May 08
As per usual, these are my views written how I speak. If you don't like what I say or how I say it then don't read them. I will answer feedback from anyone.
Impact 8th May 08 - Jim Cornette draws the 1st random team from the egotistical 8 for the Deuces wild event, Sting & James Storm are drawn as the 1st team.
Non Title 6 Person X Division Match - Curry Man vs Jimmy Rave (Since has he been part of the X Division?) vs Consequences Creed vs Johnny Devine vs Shark Boy vs Petey Williams (with Rhaka Khan). Devine & Creed kicked this one off, I do like Creed & hope they use him well as he's shaping up pretty darn good so far. Creed tagged in Curry Man (Chris Daniels seems to be enjoying himself more in this angle than any previous angle they've ever ran him under in TNA to date), Shark Boy tagging himself in after Devine surprised me by using an actual nice looking move!
Devine tagged out to Jimmy Rave with Williams tagging himself in off Rave. I didn't see either Devine or Rave get tagged but both came in (Technically Jimmy Rave tagged HIMSELF in when he was beating up Shark Boy), Rave tagged Devine back in (legally this time). Devine tagged out to Rave after missing something off the top rope (I couldn't tell what move he was trying, possibly a shooting star press?) & Shark Boy tagged out to Curry Man at the same time.
Petey Williams Hurricanrana on Curry Man from inside the ring whilst Curry man was outside on the floor was insane! This certainly got a lot better once everyone was fighting with Jimmy Rave taking the eventual pin off Curry Man but anyone could have won that & would have deserved it too because they all worked hard and ALL worked well. WWE should take notes from matches like this (which clearly had NO Russo involvement because it was entertaining!).
TNA Knockout Immunity Match aka Shears On A Pole. This'll be the work of Mr No Imagination Russo, whoever climbs the pole 1st & gets the shears WON'T get their head shaved @ Sacrifice. Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky vs Traci Brooks vs Jacqueline vs Salinas vs Christy Hemme vs Roxxi Laveaux vs Gail Kim vs ODB. Were West & Tenay even watching this match? Gail Kim pulled a snap hurricanrana on Roxxi & they said "what a great move by Roxxi Laveaux", blind fools! This was a great match though, no friends or allies, everyone whaling on everyone. Some wicked bumps taken, I'd take 1 TNA Knockout over ALL the WWE Divas any day of the year. Gail Kim got the shears, winning herself immunity from having her head shaved @ Sacrifice.
No DQ Match, James Storm vs Sting. After being chosen as team mates then busting up at the top of the show, Cornette booked this match. I don't think there was ever an opening bell for this one either. This was always going to be Sting winning, it was just a matter of when & how. The table in the ring was a bit of a dead giveaway as to how, Sting did the Stinger Splash through the table then the Scorpion Death Drop to take the win off his new tag partner.
Cornette draws the 2nd random tag team. Matt Morgan & Kip James are drawn as the 2nd team who then fight.
Matt Morgan vs Kip James - Morgan took the win. Nothing worth talking about.
Tag Team Grudge Match, Scott Steiner & Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash. Nash & Angle started this one off, this is possibly THE most wrestling Kev has done in the last decade. Steiner took the pin off Nash after Angle floored him with the Olympic Slam (did Angle appear to be in pain in his left leg when he was "lifting" Nash up? Or was it just me seeing that?).
Oh, and MARK THE F**K OUT for the trailer for the new animated Star Wars Movie - The Clone Wars (coming August 15th!).
Impact 8th May 08 - Jim Cornette draws the 1st random team from the egotistical 8 for the Deuces wild event, Sting & James Storm are drawn as the 1st team.
Non Title 6 Person X Division Match - Curry Man vs Jimmy Rave (Since has he been part of the X Division?) vs Consequences Creed vs Johnny Devine vs Shark Boy vs Petey Williams (with Rhaka Khan). Devine & Creed kicked this one off, I do like Creed & hope they use him well as he's shaping up pretty darn good so far. Creed tagged in Curry Man (Chris Daniels seems to be enjoying himself more in this angle than any previous angle they've ever ran him under in TNA to date), Shark Boy tagging himself in after Devine surprised me by using an actual nice looking move!
Devine tagged out to Jimmy Rave with Williams tagging himself in off Rave. I didn't see either Devine or Rave get tagged but both came in (Technically Jimmy Rave tagged HIMSELF in when he was beating up Shark Boy), Rave tagged Devine back in (legally this time). Devine tagged out to Rave after missing something off the top rope (I couldn't tell what move he was trying, possibly a shooting star press?) & Shark Boy tagged out to Curry Man at the same time.
Petey Williams Hurricanrana on Curry Man from inside the ring whilst Curry man was outside on the floor was insane! This certainly got a lot better once everyone was fighting with Jimmy Rave taking the eventual pin off Curry Man but anyone could have won that & would have deserved it too because they all worked hard and ALL worked well. WWE should take notes from matches like this (which clearly had NO Russo involvement because it was entertaining!).
TNA Knockout Immunity Match aka Shears On A Pole. This'll be the work of Mr No Imagination Russo, whoever climbs the pole 1st & gets the shears WON'T get their head shaved @ Sacrifice. Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky vs Traci Brooks vs Jacqueline vs Salinas vs Christy Hemme vs Roxxi Laveaux vs Gail Kim vs ODB. Were West & Tenay even watching this match? Gail Kim pulled a snap hurricanrana on Roxxi & they said "what a great move by Roxxi Laveaux", blind fools! This was a great match though, no friends or allies, everyone whaling on everyone. Some wicked bumps taken, I'd take 1 TNA Knockout over ALL the WWE Divas any day of the year. Gail Kim got the shears, winning herself immunity from having her head shaved @ Sacrifice.
No DQ Match, James Storm vs Sting. After being chosen as team mates then busting up at the top of the show, Cornette booked this match. I don't think there was ever an opening bell for this one either. This was always going to be Sting winning, it was just a matter of when & how. The table in the ring was a bit of a dead giveaway as to how, Sting did the Stinger Splash through the table then the Scorpion Death Drop to take the win off his new tag partner.
Cornette draws the 2nd random tag team. Matt Morgan & Kip James are drawn as the 2nd team who then fight.
Matt Morgan vs Kip James - Morgan took the win. Nothing worth talking about.
Tag Team Grudge Match, Scott Steiner & Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash. Nash & Angle started this one off, this is possibly THE most wrestling Kev has done in the last decade. Steiner took the pin off Nash after Angle floored him with the Olympic Slam (did Angle appear to be in pain in his left leg when he was "lifting" Nash up? Or was it just me seeing that?).
Oh, and MARK THE F**K OUT for the trailer for the new animated Star Wars Movie - The Clone Wars (coming August 15th!).
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
ECW 6th May 08 reviewed (100th ecw show)
I assume this is "100 shows since WWE bought them out?". Mike Adamle comes out & bores us on the mic. Am I the only 1 who thought he looked so uncomfortable standing there talking he was going to s**t in his pants?
Extreme Rules Match (I assume they mean hardcore rules but are no longer comfortable using the term "hardcore"?), Tommy Dreamer vs Mike Knox. It made a change to see an almost classic ECW style match with Knox taking the eventual win but Dreamer dishing out most of the punishment. The fall onto the shopping cart looked pretty nasty too!
Kellys Expose, nothing that wasn't done 1000 times sexier by Kimona Wanalaya many years ago on proper ECW & the catfight had nothing on the stuff Francine & Beulah McGillicutty used to do either.
Kofi Kingston vs Matt Striker, Kingston took the predictable win only to be jumped by Shelton Benjamin after the match.
Colin Delaney's ECW Contract Match, Colin Delaney vs Armando Estrada. Delaney got the rather predictable win & ECW contract off a very scrappy looking roll-up that Estrada really didn't look like he trusted him to perform correctly.
Tag Match, Chavo Guerrerro & Bam Neely (in his 1st actual match) vs CM Punk & Kane. Neely took some ok bumps & sold convincingly & what little offence moves he did looked ok too but I would have liked to have seen MUCH from him on his in-ring debut, CM Punk took the pin off Chavo for the eventual win in a match that could have been a lot better for both Kane & Neely.
Extreme Rules Match (I assume they mean hardcore rules but are no longer comfortable using the term "hardcore"?), Tommy Dreamer vs Mike Knox. It made a change to see an almost classic ECW style match with Knox taking the eventual win but Dreamer dishing out most of the punishment. The fall onto the shopping cart looked pretty nasty too!
Kellys Expose, nothing that wasn't done 1000 times sexier by Kimona Wanalaya many years ago on proper ECW & the catfight had nothing on the stuff Francine & Beulah McGillicutty used to do either.
Kofi Kingston vs Matt Striker, Kingston took the predictable win only to be jumped by Shelton Benjamin after the match.
Colin Delaney's ECW Contract Match, Colin Delaney vs Armando Estrada. Delaney got the rather predictable win & ECW contract off a very scrappy looking roll-up that Estrada really didn't look like he trusted him to perform correctly.
Tag Match, Chavo Guerrerro & Bam Neely (in his 1st actual match) vs CM Punk & Kane. Neely took some ok bumps & sold convincingly & what little offence moves he did looked ok too but I would have liked to have seen MUCH from him on his in-ring debut, CM Punk took the pin off Chavo for the eventual win in a match that could have been a lot better for both Kane & Neely.
Monday, May 5, 2008
WWE Monday Night Raw 5th May 08 reviewed
After a quick review of last weeks crappy show we open with Mr McMahon boring us on the mic only to receive an EXTREMELY LOUD "Asshole, Asshole" chant ;-)
William Regal bores us on the mic ordering the lights to be turned off. More than 15 minutes of tv air time is wasted needlessly talking.
Womens Lumberjack Championship Match, Beth Phoenix vs Mickey James. Mickey James wins after interference from Melina went wrong. Awful Match.
2 on 1 Handicap Match, Paul Burchill & Katy Leah vs John Cutler. I assumed this was going to be a squash match as Burchill never seems to get involved in anything that he might lose. Yep, another awful match with Katy taking the pin & no JR on commentary during the match thanks to William Regal.
Tag Match, Chris Jericho & Shaun Micheals vs The Miz & John Morrison. With HBK playing out a knee injury & Y2J not buying it, this had all the hallmarks of a short match that was going to lead to miscommunication eventually. Well I was wrong, it was short with Jericho getting the pin off the lionsault after an assist from HBK and some sweet chin music.
Randy Orton vs CM Punk - I expected this to be pretty short as CM also has to work again in the stupidly pointless handicap match later. All of the action came from Punk prior to the lights out from Regal (pointless & a waste of tv time) which effectively ended the match with no result either way. This is WWE actually showing the fans how little respect they have for them now.
Carlito's Cabana - BORING! JBL vs DH (Harry) Smith (is this his 1st tv match?) - JBL won quickly with poor Harry jobbing big time! Oh, & the second that ref had to put hands on JBL to pull him away? That should had been a 6 month suspension with no pay right there be it kayfabe or not.
(Very Pointless) Handicap Match, Mr Kennedy & HHH vs The Entire ECW Roster which is (The Miz & John Morrison, Kofi Kingston, Tommy Dreamer, Nunzio, Chavo Guerrerro, Shelton Benjamin, Mike Knox, Elijah Burke, CM Punk, Stevie Richards, Kane & Matt Striker as well as Chavo's bodyguard Bam Neely).
It screams volumes when the entire male ECW roster is only 14 men. How sad is that? This started out with Kennedy & Elijah Burke, went to HHH & Matt Striker, to Kennedy & Mike Knox, to Kennedy & Chavo Guerrerro, to Kennedy & Kofi Kingston, to Kennedy & Tommy Dreamer, back in for Kingston, to Kennedy & Shelton Benjamin after a clash of heads with Kingston (technically Shelton tagged himself out by hitting Kingston out of the ring & Kennedy should have won off a count-out), to Kennedy & Nunzio, back in for Chavo, a few run-ins by various ECW people & Chavo getting the win from Kennedy off the frogsplash.
I won't talk about the lights off, lights on post match b**ls**t because it was exactly that. UTTER B**LS**T from the laughingly named "Creative" Team who wouldn't know an idea if it painted itself bright green and ran up and down screaming through a bullhorn "I AM AN IDEA!"
William Regal bores us on the mic ordering the lights to be turned off. More than 15 minutes of tv air time is wasted needlessly talking.
Womens Lumberjack Championship Match, Beth Phoenix vs Mickey James. Mickey James wins after interference from Melina went wrong. Awful Match.
2 on 1 Handicap Match, Paul Burchill & Katy Leah vs John Cutler. I assumed this was going to be a squash match as Burchill never seems to get involved in anything that he might lose. Yep, another awful match with Katy taking the pin & no JR on commentary during the match thanks to William Regal.
Tag Match, Chris Jericho & Shaun Micheals vs The Miz & John Morrison. With HBK playing out a knee injury & Y2J not buying it, this had all the hallmarks of a short match that was going to lead to miscommunication eventually. Well I was wrong, it was short with Jericho getting the pin off the lionsault after an assist from HBK and some sweet chin music.
Randy Orton vs CM Punk - I expected this to be pretty short as CM also has to work again in the stupidly pointless handicap match later. All of the action came from Punk prior to the lights out from Regal (pointless & a waste of tv time) which effectively ended the match with no result either way. This is WWE actually showing the fans how little respect they have for them now.
Carlito's Cabana - BORING! JBL vs DH (Harry) Smith (is this his 1st tv match?) - JBL won quickly with poor Harry jobbing big time! Oh, & the second that ref had to put hands on JBL to pull him away? That should had been a 6 month suspension with no pay right there be it kayfabe or not.
(Very Pointless) Handicap Match, Mr Kennedy & HHH vs The Entire ECW Roster which is (The Miz & John Morrison, Kofi Kingston, Tommy Dreamer, Nunzio, Chavo Guerrerro, Shelton Benjamin, Mike Knox, Elijah Burke, CM Punk, Stevie Richards, Kane & Matt Striker as well as Chavo's bodyguard Bam Neely).
It screams volumes when the entire male ECW roster is only 14 men. How sad is that? This started out with Kennedy & Elijah Burke, went to HHH & Matt Striker, to Kennedy & Mike Knox, to Kennedy & Chavo Guerrerro, to Kennedy & Kofi Kingston, to Kennedy & Tommy Dreamer, back in for Kingston, to Kennedy & Shelton Benjamin after a clash of heads with Kingston (technically Shelton tagged himself out by hitting Kingston out of the ring & Kennedy should have won off a count-out), to Kennedy & Nunzio, back in for Chavo, a few run-ins by various ECW people & Chavo getting the win from Kennedy off the frogsplash.
I won't talk about the lights off, lights on post match b**ls**t because it was exactly that. UTTER B**LS**T from the laughingly named "Creative" Team who wouldn't know an idea if it painted itself bright green and ran up and down screaming through a bullhorn "I AM AN IDEA!"
Sunday, May 4, 2008
My TNA Catch-up, Sacrifice PPV May 08
After being injured this week, Kurt Angle has not been cleared to wrestle by his doctor.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Team 3D vs James Storm & Sting. 3D get the win off Storm after Sting threw him through a table for leaving him high & dry during the match.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Robert Roode & Booker T vs Rhino & Christian Cage. Roode seemed to want to fight this all on his own, eventually Booker tagged himself in but Roode tagged himself back in not long after that. Rhino got the won off a spear on Roode. The post match Booker T heel swerve was a Russo inspired idea for sure.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Kip James & Matt Morgan vs LAX (with Hector Guerrerro). With Matt Morgan stealing Undertakers "old school" rope walking trick (I don't know whether it was a homage or not?) but Hernandez took the win off Kip James after Morgan nailed him with the big boot after some miscommunication.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Super Eric & AJ Styles vs BG James & Awesome Kong. Well BG predicted this last week & sure enough it came true. BG started it off, selling nicely & putting Super Eric over. He was in for a bit with Styles then Awesome Kong tagged herself in. Styles was certainly selling hugely for Kong & Kong was certainly returning the favour too, I couldn't tell who was doing the better job of putting whom over! Kong & BG made a good team, with fast tags looking pretty solid on the whole. Was AJ's fall onto his face a botched spot? I totally couldn't tell but assume so. Styles got the eventual win off a small package (although it was VERY tough to call exactly whose shoulders were or weren't down in that one!) but BG & Kong made a darn good team!
X Division #1 Contenders Terrordome Match (1st man to escape out of the top of the cage becomes #1 Contender) - Lots of people might say this thing looks a lot like the elimination chamber but its a pretty unique design as far as I'm concerned. Curry Man vs Sonjay Dutt vs Consequences Creed vs Shark Boy vs Jimmy Rave vs Kaz vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal. Cornette comes out & says not only does the winner become #1 contender for the X Division title but they ALSO get to take the injured Kurt Angle's place in the 3 way match for the heavyweight title. There were so many good moves being done here its hard to pick the best out. Devine's Hurricanrana on the Tower Of Doom was awesome, Curry Man's Spice Rack on Jimmy Rave off the top rope was pretty crazy too. Kaz was the eventual winner of this great match to become #1 contender for the X Division title & also earned himself Angle's spot in the main event tonight.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-final match, Team 3D vs Rhino & Christian Cage. 3D had to be the pre-match favourites here after Cage & Rhino got attacked by Booker after their match, 3D were always going to focus on their opponants necks too. Devon took the win off Rhino after Devine gave Ray a kendo stick & he hit Rhino in the head as Devine distracted the ref.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-final match, AJ Styles & Super Eric vs LAX (with Hector Guerrerro & Salinas). Homicide took the pin off Styles after Salinas distracted the ref whilst Hector turned over a small package to LAX's favour.
TNA Knockout Makeover Battle Royal & Ladder Match, basically a standard battle royal until it gets to the last 2 women then it's a ladder match. 1st to climb the ladder & grab the contract wins & gets a shot at the title but the loser gets their head shaved unless its Gail Kim who had already won immunity from that. Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky vs Rhaka Khan vs Salinas vs Christy Hemme vs ODB vs Roxxi Laveaux vs Jacqueline vs Traci Brooks vs Gail Kim.
Clearly the refs weren't paying attention (like I was) as Salinas DID NOT go over the top rope (she went through the middle rope) but she was classed as eliminated 1st (by Roxxi Laveaux). 1st legal elimination but 2nd counted was Velvet Sky (by Traci Brooks). Traci Brooks was 3rd eliminated (by herself, the kick from Angelina Love didn't have the push required, Brooks made it look AWFUL too!). Christy Hemme was 4th eliminated by Rhaka Khan who was 5th eliminated by Jacqueline, ODB & Angelina Love working together. 6th eliminated was Jacqueline (by Gail Kim) & ODB was 7th eliminated (by Roxxi Laveaux). 8th eliminated was Angelina Love (by Roxxi Laveaux) leaving Gail Kim & Roxxi Laveaux in the ladder match final.
Kim's Hurricanrana (or whatever it was!) on Roxxi off the top of the ladder was insane (was Roxxi bleeding from the side of her head at that point?), Gail Kim took the eventual win & Roxxi Laveaux had her head shaved to a "FIRE RUSSO!" chant (I couldn't agree with you folks more!) & considering she lost Roxxi got big love from the crowd showing good appreciation for her. The fans were also chanting "B*LLS**T!" as Roxxi was getting shaved with some wicked cuts on her head & a very bloody skull (Roxxi had definately been busted open at some point during the match but its tough to say exactly when), West & Tenay were doing their best to ignore all the chants as they like their jobs too much to comment impartially on stuff like that.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Final match, Team 3D vs LAX (with Salinas & Hector Guerrerro). With 2 distractions at ringside and 3D having reached the finals via the heel route this one was going to be a win for LAX. It's funny how Hebner was protesting to 3D that they couldn't pin Homicide ("He's not legal, He's not legal" you could hear him saying) however only a few moments later he was more than happy to count Homicide's pin on Devon as LAX took the expected win. Hectors dropkick onto Devine on a table from the top rope looked awful showing some serious ring rust on Hectors part but this was a VERY predictable win with LAX as new TNA Tag Champions.
World Heavyweight Championship, Scott Steiner vs Kaz (replacing Kurt Angle) vs Samoa Joe. Not a brilliant match really, Steiners Frankensteiner looked good & was the best thing he's done in ages, Joe's Suicide Dive was great, Kaz made the best of a good opportunity considering the match he'd already been in tonight but Joe won off the Musclebuster on Steiner & retains his TNA Heavyweight Title.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Team 3D vs James Storm & Sting. 3D get the win off Storm after Sting threw him through a table for leaving him high & dry during the match.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Robert Roode & Booker T vs Rhino & Christian Cage. Roode seemed to want to fight this all on his own, eventually Booker tagged himself in but Roode tagged himself back in not long after that. Rhino got the won off a spear on Roode. The post match Booker T heel swerve was a Russo inspired idea for sure.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Kip James & Matt Morgan vs LAX (with Hector Guerrerro). With Matt Morgan stealing Undertakers "old school" rope walking trick (I don't know whether it was a homage or not?) but Hernandez took the win off Kip James after Morgan nailed him with the big boot after some miscommunication.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter Final Match, Super Eric & AJ Styles vs BG James & Awesome Kong. Well BG predicted this last week & sure enough it came true. BG started it off, selling nicely & putting Super Eric over. He was in for a bit with Styles then Awesome Kong tagged herself in. Styles was certainly selling hugely for Kong & Kong was certainly returning the favour too, I couldn't tell who was doing the better job of putting whom over! Kong & BG made a good team, with fast tags looking pretty solid on the whole. Was AJ's fall onto his face a botched spot? I totally couldn't tell but assume so. Styles got the eventual win off a small package (although it was VERY tough to call exactly whose shoulders were or weren't down in that one!) but BG & Kong made a darn good team!
X Division #1 Contenders Terrordome Match (1st man to escape out of the top of the cage becomes #1 Contender) - Lots of people might say this thing looks a lot like the elimination chamber but its a pretty unique design as far as I'm concerned. Curry Man vs Sonjay Dutt vs Consequences Creed vs Shark Boy vs Jimmy Rave vs Kaz vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal. Cornette comes out & says not only does the winner become #1 contender for the X Division title but they ALSO get to take the injured Kurt Angle's place in the 3 way match for the heavyweight title. There were so many good moves being done here its hard to pick the best out. Devine's Hurricanrana on the Tower Of Doom was awesome, Curry Man's Spice Rack on Jimmy Rave off the top rope was pretty crazy too. Kaz was the eventual winner of this great match to become #1 contender for the X Division title & also earned himself Angle's spot in the main event tonight.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-final match, Team 3D vs Rhino & Christian Cage. 3D had to be the pre-match favourites here after Cage & Rhino got attacked by Booker after their match, 3D were always going to focus on their opponants necks too. Devon took the win off Rhino after Devine gave Ray a kendo stick & he hit Rhino in the head as Devine distracted the ref.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-final match, AJ Styles & Super Eric vs LAX (with Hector Guerrerro & Salinas). Homicide took the pin off Styles after Salinas distracted the ref whilst Hector turned over a small package to LAX's favour.
TNA Knockout Makeover Battle Royal & Ladder Match, basically a standard battle royal until it gets to the last 2 women then it's a ladder match. 1st to climb the ladder & grab the contract wins & gets a shot at the title but the loser gets their head shaved unless its Gail Kim who had already won immunity from that. Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky vs Rhaka Khan vs Salinas vs Christy Hemme vs ODB vs Roxxi Laveaux vs Jacqueline vs Traci Brooks vs Gail Kim.
Clearly the refs weren't paying attention (like I was) as Salinas DID NOT go over the top rope (she went through the middle rope) but she was classed as eliminated 1st (by Roxxi Laveaux). 1st legal elimination but 2nd counted was Velvet Sky (by Traci Brooks). Traci Brooks was 3rd eliminated (by herself, the kick from Angelina Love didn't have the push required, Brooks made it look AWFUL too!). Christy Hemme was 4th eliminated by Rhaka Khan who was 5th eliminated by Jacqueline, ODB & Angelina Love working together. 6th eliminated was Jacqueline (by Gail Kim) & ODB was 7th eliminated (by Roxxi Laveaux). 8th eliminated was Angelina Love (by Roxxi Laveaux) leaving Gail Kim & Roxxi Laveaux in the ladder match final.
Kim's Hurricanrana (or whatever it was!) on Roxxi off the top of the ladder was insane (was Roxxi bleeding from the side of her head at that point?), Gail Kim took the eventual win & Roxxi Laveaux had her head shaved to a "FIRE RUSSO!" chant (I couldn't agree with you folks more!) & considering she lost Roxxi got big love from the crowd showing good appreciation for her. The fans were also chanting "B*LLS**T!" as Roxxi was getting shaved with some wicked cuts on her head & a very bloody skull (Roxxi had definately been busted open at some point during the match but its tough to say exactly when), West & Tenay were doing their best to ignore all the chants as they like their jobs too much to comment impartially on stuff like that.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Final match, Team 3D vs LAX (with Salinas & Hector Guerrerro). With 2 distractions at ringside and 3D having reached the finals via the heel route this one was going to be a win for LAX. It's funny how Hebner was protesting to 3D that they couldn't pin Homicide ("He's not legal, He's not legal" you could hear him saying) however only a few moments later he was more than happy to count Homicide's pin on Devon as LAX took the expected win. Hectors dropkick onto Devine on a table from the top rope looked awful showing some serious ring rust on Hectors part but this was a VERY predictable win with LAX as new TNA Tag Champions.
World Heavyweight Championship, Scott Steiner vs Kaz (replacing Kurt Angle) vs Samoa Joe. Not a brilliant match really, Steiners Frankensteiner looked good & was the best thing he's done in ages, Joe's Suicide Dive was great, Kaz made the best of a good opportunity considering the match he'd already been in tonight but Joe won off the Musclebuster on Steiner & retains his TNA Heavyweight Title.
Friday, May 2, 2008
WWE Friday Night Smackdown 2nd May 08 reviewed
Show opens with Teddy Long trying to impress us by saying most of the gold is on the line. Mick Foley joins Micheal Cole at the announce desk. By putting all these titles up for grabs on a house show WWE is basically admitting that Backlash was a truly s**t PPV and they know that fact.
Tag Championship Match, John Morrison & The Miz vs Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore. I'll be honest, I didn't expect the title to change hands here before the bell went no matter how things have gone in recent weeks. I was right, Morrison won for his team retaining their titles - no shock there really, why would WWE want belts on an entertaining team that the people like?
Colin Delaney vs Vladimir Kozlov. What's the point of putting Delaney in yet another squash match, especially a match where Kozlov is never going to be over at any point? Kozlov could wear the stars & stripes as his ringwear, marry a blond American woman and farm grain in Iowa and STILL NOT get over in the WWE. He makes Lance Storm look emotive. Yet another s***ty win for Kozlov. For those who would sooner eat Vince's s**t than watch this match, tonight you were doing both!
Diva Tag Match, Victoria & Natalya vs Michelle McCool & Cherry. Natalya got the win. VERY boring match, Am I the only person who thinks McCool looks like she'd break in half if you slammed her too hard?
Mark Henry vs Nunzio. Another Squash match? Great, just what the show didn't need. Even with Nunzio bringing Big Show down to be in his corner I still didn't really believe he could win this match, cleanly or otherwise. Henry got the win. It's sad when a match is so bad it makes you want to watch Vladimir Kozlov again. THAT'S how bad this match was.
US Championship Title Match, MVP vs Matt Hardy. Why do they even bother contesting this title any more? It has zero prestidge, Even the old hardcore title & the million dollar title were bigger honours than this former WCW pile of s***e title. Hardy won, retaining his title. Yet again, no real shock there.
Tag Match, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder vs Jesse & Festus (who weren't deemed important enough to warrant an introduction on tv). Does Jesse remind anyone else of the bastard lovechild of Mr Perfect & Owen Hart? Not a good match by anyone's standards. Hawkins won for his team.
Finlay vs Julio Dinero. Finlay won with Dinero jobbing bigtime. UTTER S**T that does not belong on tv & makes you wish you were watching Vladimir Kozlov. Yes, It was that bad!
They had announced a Heavyweight Championship title match, The Undertaker vs Great Khali but Vickie Guerrerro came out, cried boo hoo, saying choke holds were illegal and the match wasn't going to happen with the interest of the "wellbeing of the WWE Superstars" in mind and banned Taker's chokehold. BORING! Taker is told he's stripped of the title (so it's vacant then).
Khali is sent down to get the belt off Taker and it appears their match may be back on officially or not. Khali knew (as did everyone watching) that as soon as he leant over to get the belt he was going to get hit by Taker. It was also no shock that Ryder & Hawkins came from the crowd to steal the belt while he had the chokehold on Khali. A generally s**t house show with no surprises.
Tag Championship Match, John Morrison & The Miz vs Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore. I'll be honest, I didn't expect the title to change hands here before the bell went no matter how things have gone in recent weeks. I was right, Morrison won for his team retaining their titles - no shock there really, why would WWE want belts on an entertaining team that the people like?
Colin Delaney vs Vladimir Kozlov. What's the point of putting Delaney in yet another squash match, especially a match where Kozlov is never going to be over at any point? Kozlov could wear the stars & stripes as his ringwear, marry a blond American woman and farm grain in Iowa and STILL NOT get over in the WWE. He makes Lance Storm look emotive. Yet another s***ty win for Kozlov. For those who would sooner eat Vince's s**t than watch this match, tonight you were doing both!
Diva Tag Match, Victoria & Natalya vs Michelle McCool & Cherry. Natalya got the win. VERY boring match, Am I the only person who thinks McCool looks like she'd break in half if you slammed her too hard?
Mark Henry vs Nunzio. Another Squash match? Great, just what the show didn't need. Even with Nunzio bringing Big Show down to be in his corner I still didn't really believe he could win this match, cleanly or otherwise. Henry got the win. It's sad when a match is so bad it makes you want to watch Vladimir Kozlov again. THAT'S how bad this match was.
US Championship Title Match, MVP vs Matt Hardy. Why do they even bother contesting this title any more? It has zero prestidge, Even the old hardcore title & the million dollar title were bigger honours than this former WCW pile of s***e title. Hardy won, retaining his title. Yet again, no real shock there.
Tag Match, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder vs Jesse & Festus (who weren't deemed important enough to warrant an introduction on tv). Does Jesse remind anyone else of the bastard lovechild of Mr Perfect & Owen Hart? Not a good match by anyone's standards. Hawkins won for his team.
Finlay vs Julio Dinero. Finlay won with Dinero jobbing bigtime. UTTER S**T that does not belong on tv & makes you wish you were watching Vladimir Kozlov. Yes, It was that bad!
They had announced a Heavyweight Championship title match, The Undertaker vs Great Khali but Vickie Guerrerro came out, cried boo hoo, saying choke holds were illegal and the match wasn't going to happen with the interest of the "wellbeing of the WWE Superstars" in mind and banned Taker's chokehold. BORING! Taker is told he's stripped of the title (so it's vacant then).
Khali is sent down to get the belt off Taker and it appears their match may be back on officially or not. Khali knew (as did everyone watching) that as soon as he leant over to get the belt he was going to get hit by Taker. It was also no shock that Ryder & Hawkins came from the crowd to steal the belt while he had the chokehold on Khali. A generally s**t house show with no surprises.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My TNA Weekly Catch-up, Impact 1st may 08
I'm going to try & review these weekly now or as often as I can get hold of them. The usual caveats apply, the views are my own, I don't cut N paste then try & pretend I created it. My language may get colourful but I don't make any excuses for it because real people speak like that. I'm glad people are enjoying the reviews (thanks for your comments Laney K!) because I enjoy writing them. All feedback on the Catch-up will be answered. I didn't write ANY WWE reviews this week due to someone else already covering most of the shows in depth & saying how s**t they were. I didn't even bother watching them.
TNA Impact 1st May 2008 - Tag Match, Curry Man & Shark Boy vs The Motor City Machine Guns. Well on the face of it this sounded like a damn good match, lots of people who are inovative & into high risk. I could watch any of these guys all day. every day & never get bored. If you can't get over working against 1 of these chaps then your never going to. They look fluid, they have great moves & its rare to see no-sells, botched spots or moves badly performed. This was a great match up until the Scott Steiner & Petey Williams entrance resulted in a no-contest.
That's just Russo showing you how little he has left to offer TNA other than his resignation which is so badly wanted by so many right now. This could have had a clean finish with an actual result for 1 team, it wouldn't have mattered who won because they both worked hard. Not giving either team the win is just a slap in the face to them both as far as I'm concerned. That's the kind of stuff you expect from WWE, not TNA. Well done Russo, not only are you a complete & utter c**t but you've f**ked up the entire show in the 1st match. W**KER!
Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match, Eric Young & Kaz vs LAX. At least we know after the decision made at the last Tag Title defence match that Super Eric CAN NOT win for this team. Essentially that kills the gimmick (I hope, because it's AWFUL!), which is a good thing as teaming with Young is totally killing Kaz's current push. This was all LAX, Kaz never really got a look-in. Homicide took the win off a quick roll-up off Young. LAX call Hector Guerrerro into the ring to give him big respect asking him to be in their corner @ Sacrifice. Well I only predicted this about a year ago, someone has clearly been reading the archives of my reviews. I expect a cheque for that idea as well, you thieving bastards!
Knockout Tag Grudge Match, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim & ODB. Clearly someone in TNA Creative has taken a fancy to Love & Sky as their getting a push as heels at the moment and are quite the flavour of the month. Although Love & Sky were on top for the most of this, ODB took the win from the running powerslam. Exactly how much of a Davey Boy Smith fan was ODB then as she always reminds me of him when she does that move?
Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match, Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs AJ Styles & Super Eric. Oh dear, I thought Young & Kaz getting knocked out was going to be the death of that gimmick but sadly it appears not. I predicted a win for Eric & AJ from the bell & I was right with Super Eric winning off The Death Valley Driver. Save me from the madness!
Knockout Womens Match, Daisy Haze (Formerly of ROH) vs Cheerleader Melissa (this is Awesome Kong's manager Raisha Saeed using her old Indie gimmick but it's nice to finally see what she looks like under that burkha - hot as hell!). A quick Wiki of Daisy says in the past she's managed Abyss, Alex Shelley & Jimmy Rave (it'd be WAY cool to see her valet or manage The Motor City Machine Guns then!). I really enjoyed this match, both girls worked their asses off with Haze taking some great hard looking bumps & selling big time for Melissa. Cheerleader Melissa took the win from a wicked looking finisher. Hopefully TNA will fully hire Haze soon, she'd be a good addition to the womens division.
Tag Match, Scott Steiner & Petey Williams vs Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe. This was a match I could do without, I don't care enough about anyone taking part to pass any comment other than the result. Samoa Joe won off the musclebuster. S**t match!
Cornette announces the 8 people for the tag qualifiers. Matt Morgan, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Booker T, Robert Roode, Sting & Awesome Kong (WTF? Is it even legal for a woman to co-hold the tag belt?).
TNA Impact 1st May 2008 - Tag Match, Curry Man & Shark Boy vs The Motor City Machine Guns. Well on the face of it this sounded like a damn good match, lots of people who are inovative & into high risk. I could watch any of these guys all day. every day & never get bored. If you can't get over working against 1 of these chaps then your never going to. They look fluid, they have great moves & its rare to see no-sells, botched spots or moves badly performed. This was a great match up until the Scott Steiner & Petey Williams entrance resulted in a no-contest.
That's just Russo showing you how little he has left to offer TNA other than his resignation which is so badly wanted by so many right now. This could have had a clean finish with an actual result for 1 team, it wouldn't have mattered who won because they both worked hard. Not giving either team the win is just a slap in the face to them both as far as I'm concerned. That's the kind of stuff you expect from WWE, not TNA. Well done Russo, not only are you a complete & utter c**t but you've f**ked up the entire show in the 1st match. W**KER!
Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match, Eric Young & Kaz vs LAX. At least we know after the decision made at the last Tag Title defence match that Super Eric CAN NOT win for this team. Essentially that kills the gimmick (I hope, because it's AWFUL!), which is a good thing as teaming with Young is totally killing Kaz's current push. This was all LAX, Kaz never really got a look-in. Homicide took the win off a quick roll-up off Young. LAX call Hector Guerrerro into the ring to give him big respect asking him to be in their corner @ Sacrifice. Well I only predicted this about a year ago, someone has clearly been reading the archives of my reviews. I expect a cheque for that idea as well, you thieving bastards!
Knockout Tag Grudge Match, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim & ODB. Clearly someone in TNA Creative has taken a fancy to Love & Sky as their getting a push as heels at the moment and are quite the flavour of the month. Although Love & Sky were on top for the most of this, ODB took the win from the running powerslam. Exactly how much of a Davey Boy Smith fan was ODB then as she always reminds me of him when she does that move?
Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match, Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs AJ Styles & Super Eric. Oh dear, I thought Young & Kaz getting knocked out was going to be the death of that gimmick but sadly it appears not. I predicted a win for Eric & AJ from the bell & I was right with Super Eric winning off The Death Valley Driver. Save me from the madness!
Knockout Womens Match, Daisy Haze (Formerly of ROH) vs Cheerleader Melissa (this is Awesome Kong's manager Raisha Saeed using her old Indie gimmick but it's nice to finally see what she looks like under that burkha - hot as hell!). A quick Wiki of Daisy says in the past she's managed Abyss, Alex Shelley & Jimmy Rave (it'd be WAY cool to see her valet or manage The Motor City Machine Guns then!). I really enjoyed this match, both girls worked their asses off with Haze taking some great hard looking bumps & selling big time for Melissa. Cheerleader Melissa took the win from a wicked looking finisher. Hopefully TNA will fully hire Haze soon, she'd be a good addition to the womens division.
Tag Match, Scott Steiner & Petey Williams vs Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe. This was a match I could do without, I don't care enough about anyone taking part to pass any comment other than the result. Samoa Joe won off the musclebuster. S**t match!
Cornette announces the 8 people for the tag qualifiers. Matt Morgan, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Booker T, Robert Roode, Sting & Awesome Kong (WTF? Is it even legal for a woman to co-hold the tag belt?).
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