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Thursday, December 6, 2007

My TNA Monthly Catch-up, Dec 07 - Jan 08

Yep, once again it's that time of the month where I bring you up to date with all the action from the previous months Impacts and PPV. I know this catch-up is very late, I haven't been well - But I won't bore you with my personal problems. The usual caveats apply, I call it how I see it. The only bias is my own, If you don't like my opinion or how I say it then edon't read it. I do and will use colourful language, If I feel the need to swear then I will. Real people generally do. I only talk about what I feel is relevant to the advancement of TNA so you won't find me mentioning certain storylines or angles if they bore me. Now it's on to the catch-up!

Impact 6th December - Due to certain issues I didn't have this edition of Impact to review. Feel free to make up your own review. Maybe Kurt Angle admitted he was gay? Kevin Nash actually did something entertaining? Miss Brooks covered up her breasts? Jay Lethal didn't look like an utter c**t with a s**t gimmick for a change? I did a bit of searching and thanks to Rapidshare I actually managed to find this show to review so here goes with a real review (but I still bet my made-up one was a miles better show!).

Tag Match - Rellik & Black Reign vs LAX. What an odd match-up. LAX aren't hardcore workers but here they are working with 2 of hardest in TNA. Not that anything hardcore happened in this match, it was a pretty dull affair with Homicide getting the pin off Rellik with a roll-up.

Non-title Knockout Womens Match - ODB vs Gail Kim. I really do like ODB, not only can she wrestle, she's a great character! She's off her fricking head but she's got bags of character. The whole "slightly drunk" thing is a bit iffy if you ask me but it certainly seems to work for her. This was a decent enough match but it really didn't need the crappy cheat finish with ODB using the hipflask to hit Kim & get the pin.

Winner Takes Possession of Case #3 (from Feast or Fired) - Chris Daniels vs Senshi with Elix Skipper as special guest referee. Not a great match considering the abilities of the 2 men involved. Daniels got the pin and won the case.

Robert Roode joins Kurt Angle's Alliance.

6 Man Tag Team Ladder Match for possession of the X Division title belt - Team 3d & Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal & The Motor City Machine Guns. This whole c***py storyline about Team 3d having Jay Lethal's belt is utter S**T! This is an issue that could be solved in seconds. Give Lethal one of the replica belts that TNA sells. Claim the belt Team 3d have isn't the real one.

Matter solved, none of these c***py storyline matches needed. With the amount of "things on a pole" or "things up a ladder" matches increasing like crazy at the moment it shows how truly involved Russo is with the show. Far too involved. With Team 3d still running as heels they are certainly doing a really good job of putting both Jay Lethal & The Motor City Machine Guns over. I was a bit annoyed about the very bad camera angle showing exactly where Chris Sabin's springboard clothesline actually hit Devon (on his arm) as he took him off the ladder. Either a badly positioned cameraman who should know better or an idiot director. Lethal actually undid the belt but Brother Ray hit him with a kendo stick when the ref was distracted and gave the belt to Johnny Devine who was given the win for his team.

10 Man Tag Match - Robert Roode, Christian Cage, AJ Styles & Tomko & Kurt Angle vs Kaz, Eric Young (neither of whom really deserve to be in a match like this if we're honest), Booker T, Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe. Nash got the win for his team in this overly long pretty mediocre match. Kaz & AJ Styles were the best workers in this by a country mile. This show also demonstrated exactly how long a "2 Hour Impact Show" actually is. 1 hour and 25 minutes long.

Wow, you Americans either have too many commercials or a really f**king short attention span?
Impact 13th Dec 07 - The show kicks off with Christian Cage coming out to bore us on the mic. Kurt Angle does likewise.

4 Way Feast, Fired Or $50,000 match - Chris Daniels vs BG James vs Petey Williams vs Scott Steiner. This is a carry on from the last PPV where 3 men win a title shot and 1 gets fired. As extra incentive they offer a 50 grand prize or swap your case for someone else's. Overall this was a decent enough match, Williams showing his stuff as usual. Steiner took the win & traded cases with Petey Williams. Petey's traded case held the World Heavyweight Title shot.

Rellik vs Kaz - not one of Kaz's best matches, Rellik had a decent enough match showing he actually can wrestle. All the s**te with Black Reign afterwards was pretty pointless though.

TNA Knockout Tag Team match - Velvet Sky & Angelina Love vs Ms Brooks & Jackie Moore. Playing on the angle that Jackie was drunk, this was going to be very 1 sided. Sky took some pretty nice bumps, Brooks is getting better with each match taking some pretty good bumps herself. Angelina Love took the eventual win which they worked well for. It also looks like their setting up a Booker T vs Robert Roode match.

James Mitchell comes out to bore us on the mic with some Abyss storyline s**te which was an obvious set-up for Judas Mesias to jump him when the lights went out.

Chris Harris vs Booker T - well this was a foregone conclusion before the bell rang with Booker getting the obvious win.

Back to the Feast Or Fired angle and inside BG James's case was a Tag Team Title shot.

Lumberjack Strap match - Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal (still using the worst gimmick in TNA). Lethal getting the win from a nice elbow drop.

Back to Feast Or Fired again and the contents of the last 2 cases Scott Steiner got the X Division Title shot and Chris Daniels got fired. Like anyone believes that for even a femto second? Expect to see him back in some capacity very soon.

Handicap match, initially booked as a tag match but because Christian Cage couldn't find a partner he faced Kurt Angle & Robert Roode alone. Cage got the best of this match even on his own but Roode took the eventual win for his team.

Impact 20th Dec 07 - The show starts with Eric Young's Christmas at home. (Was that WWF Legend Bushwhacker Luke as "Uncle Leo"?).

Matt Morgan comes down to bore us on the mic.

8 Man Tag Team Christmas Chaos Cage Match - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave & James Storm & Robert Roode vs LAX's Homicide & Hernandez & Scott Steiner & Booker T. LAX got the best of this match but it was pretty obvious being the new guy that Booker T was going to take the win with a pin on Jimmy Rave. Booker hasn't lost a match yet.

Double North Pole Match - Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley & Jay Lethal vs Team 3d & Johnny Devine. Basically it's a "something on a pole" match so Russo had been hard at work doing f**k all as usual. They can either win an Ultimate X Match or a Plate Glass Table Match. After some help from some midgets Alex Shelley pulled down the Ultimate X Match for the win.

Santa's Workshop Knockout Streetfight Match - ODB vs Roxxi Laveaux vs Jackie Moore vs Christy Hemme vs Miss Brooks vs Awesome Kong vs Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim. Basically its a 9 woman hardcore weapons match with a festive twist. Kim & Kong were out of the ring & gone within seconds of the opening bell. ODB gave yet another good show of herself. Kong made her way back and took out everyone in the ring getting the win off Christy Hemme with the Awesome bomb. Kim finally made it back after the bell to level Kong with a chair but security had to break it up.

Silent Night, Bloody Night 4 Way Match - Rellik vs Shark Boy vs Black Reign vs Abyss. A match where Shark boy performed a lot better than expected to be honest but it was always going to a case of James Mitchell distracting Abyss for Judas Mesias to jump him. Rellik got the eventual win off Shark boy.

Grab The Reindeer Ladder Match - AJ Styles vs Kaz, basically whoever gets the reindeer costume 1st, the loser has to wear the costume. With Kaz getting a big push recently and AJ jobbing to everyone left, right and centre I predicted a win for Kaz. Styles pulls some wicked moves showing his classic style. Kaz got the predicted win and AJ had to wear the Reindeer suit.

Impact 27th Dec 07 - Senshi vs Judas Mesias. Well this was always going to be a squash match wasn't it? How have WWE not sued TNA for Mesias totally stealing & ripping off Gangrel's gimmick? I didn't expect this to be long and it wasn't. Mesias getting the predicted win.

Christian Cage comes down to bore us on the mic.

Robert Roode vs Booker T - yet another match between these 2 which was most likely going Bookers way yet again. This one never got started with Kurt Angle jumping Booker and Booker getting a beatdown off them both. Booker decides to make it a tag match later in the evening. Who died and made him Jim Cornette?

Non-title Tag Match - Tomko & AJ Styles vs Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley. As a non-title match I predicted The Motor City Machine Guns to win. Which went exactly the way I called it, Shelley & Sabin taking a very deserved win.

Tag Team Knockout match - Roxxi Laveaux & Jackie Moore & ODB & Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Gail Kim. The women are now getting more and better matches to showcase their talent Even though this was a light team versus a heavy team both teams had different skill sets but were still equally matched. Love & Sky are really establishing themselves as quite a tagteam now, ODB improves every time I see her. Roxxi I still haven't seen enough of and needs to make more of the chances they are giving her. Roxxi did make a nice sit-out powerbomb on Kim but Kim got the eventual win for her team.

Elix Skipper vs Samoa Joe - After being told to fight or be fired Joe came out but he sure wasn't dressed to fight but he did. The ref DQ'd Joe after throwing him around so Skipper got the win on paper.

Tag Match - Robert Roode & Kurt Angle vs Booker T and his mystery partner who turned out to be Christian Cage which wasn't very surprising. Another thing that wasn't surprising was Bookers team winning with Cage taking the win off Roode with the unprettier.

Impact 3rd Jan 08 - Tag Team division Gauntlet match - A Basic Battle Royale but with tag teams. Lance Hoyt & Kip James start things off. Next in is Brother Devon. Next in is Alex Shelley. Next in is Homicide who eliminates Kip James. Next in is Jimmy Rave. Next in is BG James who eliminates Devon. Next in is Brother Ray. Next in is Chris Sabin who eliminates BG James. Last in is Hernandez. Brother Ray eliminates Alex Shelley. Chris Sabin eliminates Brother Ray. During the commercial break (I keep saying they have them at F**KING AWFUL times and am only proved even more right by this one!) Lance Hoyt eliminates Hernandez and Jimmy Rave eliminates Homicide. Then we switch to a classic match and Alex Shelley gets the win off Jimmy Rave.

Womens Knockout Gauntlet Match - Exactly like the last match except its the women and its just a singles match. Angelina Love & Miss Brooks start things off. Next in is Jackie Moore. Next in is Velvet Sky. Next in is Christy Hemme. Next in is ODB who eliminates Miss Brooks. Next in is Roxxi Laveaux. Last in is Awesome Kong who eliminates Christy Hemme, Velvet Sky & Angelina Love. Working together Roxxi, ODB & Jackie eliminate Awesome Kong. Roxxi Laveaux eliminates Jackie Moore and its her vs ODB to a pinfall. ODB went for a quick pin but Roxxi turned things around. Both women made some nice moves but ODB won using sheer weight to get the pin.

X Division Gauntlet Match - Just like the previous match except with the X Division guys, Sonjay Dutt & Petey Williams kick things off. Next in is Shark boy. Next in is Elix Skipper who eliminates himself jumping at Sonjay Dutt, silly t**t. Next in is Johnny Devine who eliminates Shark boy. Last in is Senshi. Johnny Devine & Sonjay Dutt eliminate Johnny Devine together. Senshi eliminates Sonjay Dutt leaving Petey Williams vs Senshi for the pinfall. Williams takes the win off the Canadian Destroyer.

Heavyweight Gauntlet - Again, exactly the same as before, this time the Heavyweight men. Booker T & James Storm start things off. Next in is Robert Roode. Here Booker had a whole minute of 2 on 1 to cope with depending on who the next man in was really. Next in was Eric Young. As a heavyweight? X Division perhaps but never has EY been a Heavyweight contender. Another break taken at a bad time during which Black Reign, Rellik, Kaz & Chris Harris entered the match (So the break was at least 5 minutes long. During a match like this? What drugs are you on TNA schedulers?). Next in as Kaz was eliminating James Storm was Scott Steiner who eliminated Robert Roode. Next in was Judas Mesias as Steiner eliminated Chris Harris, Judas Mesias eliminated Kaz. Next in is Kevin Nash. Next in is Abyss, Judas Mesias eliminates Scott Steiner & Eric Young. Abyss eliminates Judas Mesias & himself. Next in is Samoa Joe. Last in is Christian Cage. Black Reign eliminates Booker T (making that Bookers 1st match he hasn't won or been on the winning team). Samoa Joe eliminates Rellik as the camera's are watching totally the wrong action by focusing on Cage and Angle (who isn't even involved in this match) on the entry ramp. Kevin Nash eliminates Black Reign then eliminates himself leaving Cage vs Joe to the pinfall that Cage steals from a very sneaky & fast roll up.

Final Resolution PPV Jan 6th 08 - Tag Match - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs LAX. Not a match that really belonged on a PPV, this really should have been settled on tv. LAX get the win and the "man" (who was obviously a woman) who's been slap jacking Christie Hemme is finally revealed to be a female. It looks like the womens division just gained another body. Let's hope she can work as well as she looks.

Black Reign vs Kaz. Yet another match that didn't belong on a PPV. Kaz could have worked a much better match than this. Kaz isn't a hardcore wrestler. He wasn't hardcore as part of Seratonin and he still isn't as a singles worker. Kaz won a pretty easy and scrappy match.

TNA Knockout Womens No DQ Title Match - Awesome Kong vs Gail Kim. This match was always going to favour Kong and I wondered if Kim was going to use outside interference from some of the other women to win it. It went straight out of the ring and on the whole was the squash match it looked like it was going to be. Really this should have been stopped as soon as Kong powerbombed the ref. I know it was no DQ but that should only apply wrestler to wrestler. Kim gets the unlikely win using 2nd ref Rudy Charles to get a roll-over.

Judas Mesias vs Abyss - This Abyss storyline just isn't interesting enough to merit a PPV match. Mesias might look good but he doesn't seem to have the moves or skillset to belong in a PPV match. Mesias isn't any good unless he's jumping someone from behind or with several other people helping him. Abyss on the other hand has had good PPV matches with many people, he was carrying Mesias for most of this match whilst Mitchell was backstage. Mesias took the win after interference by Mitchell. The very cheap c**p attempt to make us believe Mitchell was going to set Abyss on fire? I think not, especially not after that PPV TNA had where the building was partially set alight by a misfiring pyro. Check your PPV history next time before you try to pull a piece of b**ls**t like that on us James Mitchell. W**ker!

Mixed Tag Match - Robert Roode & Miss Brooks vs Booker T & Sharmell. It was nice for them to finally find a way to use Sharmell in a wrestling capacity as I'd been hoping to see her work in-ring since her and Booker arrived. Roodes ability to sell certain moves in this match was truly awful. He looked like a rank amateur in places. Roode didn't seem to want to be hit by Booker's knee lifts to the chest and didn't seem to know how to sell them either. Booker was more than happy to show Roode how to sell a knee lift to the chest though. Sharmell finally got a chance in-ring but there was no real skill from her or any wrestling moves done. Sharmell got the pin after Miss Brooks was bumped back to the mat after hitting Roode. It looks like hopefully and finally Miss Brooks & Robert Roode are done after he knocked out Sharmell. It's time to hook him up with the crazy superfan, their perfect for each other.

6 man Tag Team Ultimate X Match for possession of the X Division belt - In yet another bit of bad organisation the ring wasn't already set up for this match which I found very surprising. Team 3d & Johnny Devine vs The Motor City Machine Guns & Jay Lethal. 3d get the win after using a ladder to get to the belt while the ref was "knocked out".

Tag Team Championship Match - AJ Styles & Tomko vs Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash. Joe was filling in for Scott Hall who by now must have burnt all his bridges with TNA. Joe got to a point where he was in trouble & Nash stepped off the apron leaving Joe alone to fight the tag champions in what was now a handicap match. The ref was allowing a truly blatant double team for far too long not even attempting to make the illegal man leave the ring at any point & Joe had no chance with Tomko getting the pin to retain the belts for his team.

Heavyweight Title Match - Kurt Angle vs Christian Cage. Basically this matches outcome solely depended on where AJ Styles decided his true friends were as his allies. Cage really didn't deserve this title shot (I can't even remember how he got it to be honest) and neither of these guys is entertaining enough to carry this match. Cage has been a heel too long to suddenly be a face and Angle has pretty much been a heel since he started in TNA. The match was far too long and drawn out with too much mat based wrestling. Leaving AJ out to finally come out in the last 30 seconds of the match to turn on Cage and earn Angle the win was not a good idea. As the main event this was very weak indeed and the womens matches made this look very bad.

My predictions for this year:-

Kaz will win a belt, X Division or Heavyweight but that would be a very short run.

Jeff Jarrett will finally return & we will see more of the women having tag matches leading hopefully to a possible tag belt for them.

Sting may finally retire as hopefully will Kevin Nash.

Robert Roodes superfan will either dye her hair black or wear a black wig and ambush Miss Brooks outside the Impact Zone taking her place, Roode won't notice until she helps him to a win and she reveals who she really is and he hires her and fires Miss Brooks finally leaving her free to work in the Womens division under a new image and go back to being Tracey Brooks.

Booker T will win the Heavyweight title or possibly the Tag title with Scott Steiner.