My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 28th Aug 08

Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed) vs Sojourner Bolt (Josette Bynum AKA Josie from SHIMMER) who had previously fought Kong at Slammiversary. Bolt started out with a good offensive, some good dropkicks. West & Tenay reported that "TNA & Gail Kim have parted ways" (so I guess that makes it official then?) & Kong was soon back on top. Bolt fought back with a couple of kicks to Kongs head & then went for a double axehandle off the top turnbuckle but was stopped midair by Kongs arm. Bolt managed to avoid the spinning backfist the 1st time but took the 2nd one. Kong won off the Awesome Bomb which Bolt sold very well indeed. Saeed set 2 chairs upright in the ring for another Awesome Bomb on Bolt but ODB hit the ring throwing 1 chair at Kong, the other at Saeed and then threw Saeed right out of the ring. ODB hit an excellent DDT on Kong off the top turnbuckle & this is how easily Gail Kim is replaced as TNA top babyface. Serves her right for being a greedy bitch & going with money over quality of life. Gail, you can only spend your money if your fit & healthy. Expect to job, be made to wear a stupid sexist costume & then get injured after less than 10 matches. Don't expect any title shots in WWE either.

Sheik Abdul Bashir & Petey Williams vs Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal. Bashir is still really finding his feet in TNA as he was seriously overselling to Lethal in a very bad way right from the opening bell. The match was pretty scrappy if I'm honest with Lethal getting the pin on Williams after Bashir bumped into him allowing Lethal to get the roll-up & the worlds fastest 3 count. Not at all what I expect from the X Division guys.

Karen's Angle with Abyss. Yeah, that's a great idea! Get THE least talkative person on the whole TNA roster & put them into a segment no-one watches or cares about. Gotta be a Russo idea.

Jimmy Rave vs Curry Man. Curry Man took this to Rave right over the top rope, this at least was much more representative of X Division talent than the tag match that'd previously happened. Rave was selling for Curry Man like crazy but I am worried that his gimmick is coming to an end very soon (You knew it was going to end once they started letting him speak English), Curry Man took the eventual win off the Spice Rack. This was a pretty decent match for both guys. The standard post-match beatdown happened with Lance Rock joining Rave & Christy Hemme but it wasn't long before Shark Boy & Super Eric (as the rest of The Prince Justice Brotherhood) came down to make the save.

Traci Brooks is appointed "Knockout Law" by Jim Cornette, basically putting her in charge of the TNA Knockouts to maintain order. It also sounds like Cornette is giving her carte blanche for hiring & firing of Knockouts. Loved Cornette's "you'll never drown" remark, very funny.

Four Ways To Glory Qualifying Match, Kurt Angle vs Kevin Nash. Samoa Joe joins West & Tenay at the colour desk. A very boring match, neither guy impressed me & this couldn't be over soon enough. Nash set up for the Jack Knife Power Bomb, Joe got onto the apron & distracted him allowing Angle to hit the low blow behind the refs back and get the pin off the Olympic Slam.

TNA Knockouts advert seriously shoots on the WWE Divas.

The Beautiful People (with Kip James now rebranded as Kute Kip) vs Roxxi & Taylor Wilde. Did Roxxi have a serious make-up malfunction here? Her eyelashes were looking insane, serious Panda eyes there! Roxxi & Love started this one off & Roxxi was showing her how to wrestle properly. Wilde was selling well for Love & Sky, happily putting them both over. Love took the eventual win after Sky sprayed Roxxi in the face with something. It was weird that Rhino had to come out & make the save on Taylor Wilde, I'm guessing Abyss wasn't present for the filimg of this Impact as thats been his role recently?

Sting comes out to bore us on the mic, no-one cares about the AJ Styles/Jeff Jarrett angle.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 21st Aug 08

Robert Roode vs Hernandez. Having fought Storm last week, Hernandez completes the double here. Roode jumped Hernandez as he climbed through the ropes. Beer Money were working the double teams pretty much every time Hernandez got out of the ring but generally on the in-ring stuff both guys were equally on top, giving as good as they got. Hernandez took the eventual win after both Storm & Jackie interfered with Salinas stopping Jackie.

Tag Match - Eric Young & BG James vs The Motor City Machine Guns. This one was kicked off by Young & Sabin with Sabin putting over Young extremely well. BG seemed happy to be putting both the Guns over (its starting to look more & more like he'll be taking a managerial or colour role in TNA any day soon) but saved himself with a nice looking double DDT. Young's roll-up was good but that ref made one of the slowest counts I've ever seen. Young took the win making a pin on Sabin. Pretty decent match! Shame about this postmatch bulls**t that's setting the Guns up for a heel turn.

Karen's Angle with SoCal Val. Be honest, does ANYONE watch this at all?

Matt Morgan vs Frankie Capone. Capone may as well have been billed as Frankie "The Jobber" Capone here. Capone jumped Morgan & tried to start some sort of offence but it was pretty obvious what the outcome was going to be here. Morgan won with the Hellavator. Post match bulls**t with Team 3D, Abyss made the save.

Four Ways To Glory Qualifying Match, Booker T vs Rhino. After a load of dancing around this eventually got going. Booker was on top at 1st (I'm still not really sure why he's even being given a chance to qualify after losing 2 title matches?) but Rhino quickly put a stop to that. Booker did a lot of selling for Rhino & Sharmell cheated Rhino out of an easy win by putting Bookers foot up on the ropes but she was forcibly removed to the backstage area by Christian Cage who came down to help his tag partner out. Coming back from the break (I wish they'd stop taking breaks during matches, it shows VERY poor timing) Booker managed to rally himself without Sharmell after dodging a gore. Rhino dodged the axekick, hit a gore then went high risk but missed allowing Booker to take the easy pin & qualify for the PPV.

X Division Championship, Consequences Creed vs Petey Williams. With both guys now fully fit I was really disappointed to see how often this match kept going back to the mat & too much technical wrestling made for a very slow & boring start to this match. Creed was doing all the aerial stuff with Williams choosing to go for a power based offence. As soon as Sheik Bashir came out onto the ramp you knew he was going to interfere with this match at some point. (I could almost hear Russostanding backstage saying to him "Go make this match into a complete pile of s**t"). Rather obviously once Creed got on top, Bashir tried to enter the ring but Creed cut him off and sent him to the floor pretty hard. Creed made a nice flipdive taking out both Williams & Bashir on the ground (best move of the match right there). Creed had set up for the DDT but Bashir came into the ring and the ref stopped it (DQ on outside interference I assume). Yet another sh**ty Russo finish.

Knockout Streetfight, Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed) vs Gail Kim. Yet again we got to see Katie Kim as Awesome Kong came down to the ring. With this being a no DQ you had to assume Saeed was going to interfere & that Katie was going to get involved as they'd been hinting at this for the last few weeks. Kong tried to jump Kim before she entered the ring but Kim pulled

the ropes, flooring Kong who came back very quickly. Kong took this one into the crowd. Predictably once it came back out of the crowd Saeed got involved to allow Kong to get the upper hand by which point I was just counting the seconds before Katie Kim joined in here. Kim got a nice necktie neckbreaker on Saeed and a good chair dropkick into Kong leading to a near fall. Kong kicking out of Kim's roll-up after running head first into the chair was pretty good, Kong

took the eventual and a far too easy looking win off the Implant Buster. With Kong & Saeed setting up Gail for an Awesome Bomb onto a chair, it was predictable Katie was going to get into the ring (actually I was amazed she hadn't jumped the rail once Saeed got involved in the match!). Roxxi & ODB saved Katie from an Awesome Bomb & I guess this was a good way for TNA Creative to write Gail Kim out of TNA for a while (I am highly doubting the "Gail Kim has left TNA" story as you don't spend all those weeks setting up to involve Katie, getting her involved then just leave the company like that. It's just stupid & makes no sense. It's far more likely she's having time off to promote her movie).

Ladder match for Kurt Angle's Olympic Gold Medal. Kurt Angle (with Booker T) vs AJ Styles. Booker was trying to stop Styles entering the ring as Angle set up the ladder & started climbing it (it'd be difficult for him to win a match where the bell hadn't even gone yet!). Samoa Joe came down and grabbed Booker to help out Styles & get another chance to beat on Booker. Styles yanked Angle off the ladder & the bell went to start this. After a lot of brawling outside the ring

& yet another badly timed break Angle got back on top after a nice droptoe hold putting AJ face 1st onto the ladder (I was half expecting him to blade there to make up for cutting Angle's head a few weeks ago). From the co-operation of Joe & AJ are we seeing the begining of a new tagteam forming there? (I hope so, they'd be outstanding together!). Styles smashed Angle's head into the leg of the fallen ladder & Angle looked like he'd reopened that cut from a few weeks back. Angle made an Olympic Slam as AJ climbed the ladder but Styles managed to recover to push Angle almost off the top of the ladder. The double clothesline was a bit of a bad idea at that point. Booker knocked out Joe with the baseball bat that Sharmell gave him & that left Angle & Styles duking it out on the ladder. The lights went out & Jeff Jarretts music hit, when they came

back on Styles had a guitar and hit Angle in the head to take the Gold Medal & the win continuing the set-up for Jeff Jarrett's return.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 14th Aug 08

Tag Match, The Rock & Rave Infection vs Rhino & Christian Cage. Nothing special really, Cage took the win.

Matt Morgan vs Johnny Devine. Again nothing special. Morgan took the win off the Hellavator. The chance of Abyss & Morgan as a tagteam is way more exciting than anything that happened in the actual match.

Karen's Angle with The Beatiful People & it looks like Kip James is going back to his Mr Ass character. Gail Kim's sister is named tonight, Katy or Katie Kim.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Jay Lethal. From the way Bashir was working the mic pre-match I didn't even think he was part of this match, I thought he'd just come out to flap his gums. Yet another uninteresting match, I was just sitting waiting for Consequences Creed to run-in & get his revenge on Bashir. Bashir cheated the win after he pulled something out of his boot and hit Lethal in the neck with it to cheat the easy pin. Sadly it seems the Dutt/Lethal storyline is not done with.

Tag Match, Team 3D vs Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe. Another uninteresting match. Joe won with the rear naked chokehold on Brother Devon. Some post match bulls**t, Joe hit the ref who reversed his call so Team 3D get the win. One small problem there, the match was over, the victory call had been made. My only problem there is you can't just go setting a decision change precendent like that otherwise so many matches in TNA history will need to be changed. You also now leave it open for future post match DQ's to change entire match outcomes. Sounds like Russo inspired bullshit to me.

Non-title Knockout Match with Traci Brooks as guest ref. I guess it's official then, Brooks is no longer a wrestler. Christy Hemme vs Taylor Wilde. For those talking about the "who is suicide" URL flashframe it happened right at the start of the match (isn't subliminal advertising banned by the FCC?). The match should have been over in the 1st minute as Hemme actually tapped out when Wilde put her in some weird leg stretch hold. Brooks must have been blind not to see that one. Both Wilde & Hemme had a good match here, best match of the night so far. Wilde took the eventual win & at no point did the word MISGUIDED appear, only the URL for whoissuicide. I assume Wilde bit her tongue or lip or cut her mouth in some way as she was holding her hand to her mouth after the match. With all the appearances of Gail's sister are they now going to bring her in as a new wrestler?

James Storm vs Hernandez. Hernandez started this one outside the ring, turning it into a brawl from the get go. It did eventually make it back into the ring for the match to legally start. Hernandez was on top until Roode interfered then Storm finally got the upper hand. It would have been a lot better match without Roode's constant interference (does he not trust Storm to be able to work a match on his own?) but both guys were on top and Hernandez took the win off a nice sit-out powerbomb after knocking Roode off the apron.

Gold Medal Challenge, Kurt Angle vs AJ Styles. Rules are three 2 minute time periods, wrestlers score 2 points for a takedown or near-fall (2 count) & win by scoring most points or getting a 3 count. I don't know why Angle's medal is up for grabs or why TNA Creative believes we're such stupid enough marks to think Angle would even put that medal on the line so they must think we're incredibly dim - way to inspire your fans by showing how much you think of them TNA. The ropes were down for this one (so you can already guess that someone is going out of the ring at some point during this match, its just a matter of who & when) & by the time the countdown clock appeared there was only 8 minutes of the show left anyway so yet again TNA fail to put on much of a main event in terms of duration. Angle scored his 1st 2 points for a single leg takedown to put himself ahead in the 1st 20 seconds. Angle then scored another 2 points flooring Styles. Going into the final 41 seconds Angle scored yet another 2 points for another takedown to establish a good lead on Styles. In the 2nd 2 minute time period AJ got a roll-up & a 2 count to score 2 points, he also scored another 2 points for a takedown. In the final 35 seconds of the 2nd period Angle made another takedown to increase his score to 8 points. In the dying seconds of the 2nd period Styles managed a roll-up to score 2 more points & also got another 2 count to take his score to 8 points, matching Angles score. In the 3rd period Styles had Angle in a go behind hold & Angle elbowed AJ in the head when the ref wasn't looking then scored 2 more points for a takedown. Styles hit a good suplex late into the 3rd period knocking the ref out of the ring (Note to TNA Creative - Ref bumps are f**king s**t & always have been. Stop doing them as no-one believes them any more) only for Angle to clothesline Styles when the ref was down outside the ring. With 12 seconds left on the clock the lights went out & Stings music hit. When the lights came up Angle had Stings black baseball ball but the lights went out again & Jeff Jarretts music hit. When the lights came back Styles was stood behind Angle with a guitar and nailed him over the head, cutting Angles head open. Styles made the cover & took the 3 count to get the win (its a shame the clock had already run out over 44 seconds earlier & Angle had actually already won the match but why let semmantics ruin a s**t storyline?).

This poor excuse for a final match topped off a generally poor Impact. After this weeks c**p PPV & tonights rubbish Impact TNA are going to have really start pulling it out of the bag to keep people watching. Time to fire Russo? Will they bring in Mick Foley? Will they ever end the Dutt/Lethal feud & shitty gimmicks? Only time can tell. We'll see next week, same time, same Bat-Channel.

My TNA Catch-up, Hard Justice PPV 08

Coming from Trenton, New Jersey.

X Division Championship, Consequences Creed vs Petey Williams. As this match progressed I got the feeling both guys had been told to drag this one out due to something else being taken off the card. They were working really slowly & this was a really bad way to start the PPV & an even worse way to decide the X Division Title. This match didn't really get started until it'd been going for almost 20 minutes. I assume they sent Sheik Bashir out because they had no clue how to finish the match. Bashir nailed Creed in the back with a chair allowing Williams to hit The Canadian Destroyer & win the match. Despite the fact he'd actually lost the match the second Rhaka Khan climbed in the ring. That should have been an instant DQ on outside interference, ditto on Bashir.

My thoughts:- In hindsight I'd have cut this match to half it's time & had either guy win in a clean finish. Awful match!

Knockouts 6 Woman Tag Match. Guest Ref is Traci Brooks (has she quit as a wrestler then?). The Beautiful People & Awesome King vs ODB, Gail Kim & Taylor Wilde. ODB & Angelina Love kicked this one off. I didn't think this was a very good match at all. It was very substandard as far as women's matches have gone in recent weeks, there was pretty much nothing to speak of about this match until the last few minutes. Taylor Wilde took the win off a good roll-up. Very poor match indeed.

My thoughts:- The women can work much better than this, there just wasn't much indication of that tonight though.

Tag Team Title Match, Beer Money vs LAX. A slightly better match. LAX were on top & there for a good long time. I wasn't impressed with Beer Money's performance, it was just them being themselves. Nothing special, nothing extra. Homicide was always going to be the weak link for his team after the "glass injury" of the last match & Beer Money were always going to exploit that. Craziest move of the match had to be Hernandez Border Tossing Homicide out of the ring onto Storm & Roode. Beer Money took the win after Storm hit Homicide in the head with the beer bottle for Roode to take an easy pin & we have new champions in Beer Money Inc. Weak match.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match, Sonjay Dutt vs Jay Lethal. Hopefully this storyline will finally be fully played out after this match, it's been s**t with both guys jobbing to their gimmicks. Ok, to explain the rules. Both guys are linked by a length of chain which each man has strapped to 1 wrist, you win by either pinfall or stripping the other guy of his tuxedo. As the ref was linking Dutt to the chain, Lethal attached his chain to the top rope before jumping Dutt to get some free shots in. And that should have been DQ & match over right there but sadly you can't call a DQ when the bell hasn't even rung yet. Once it did start Dutt crotched Lethal on the chain & ripped the sleeve off his jacket. Both guys went for the ripping clothes off to win, Val abandoned Lethal part way through the match & then the fans started showing what they really thought of this match with a VERY loud "BORING" chant which I totally agreed with. When Lethal went for a pin Slick Johnson was very badly out of place resulting in a 2 count only. Lethal won off a very badly executed flying elbow off the top turnbuckle. Piss poor match, even the fans thought so.

Jersey Street Fight, Team 3D vs Rhino & Christian. The rules, falls count anywhere & weapons are legal. The "Christian, Use My Sign" sign was actually mounted on a red no entry sign & it was very funny to see him using it. Team 3D were very much over with the fans in this match, it looks like you can kiss their heel status goodbye at long last. I've no clue if Devon was injured or just plain lazy as Ray was the much busier member of Team 3D with Devon not featuring much at all when they finally got back into the ring. Ray's powerbomb on Cage off the top turnbuckle was probably the 2nd best move of the match behind Cage's frogsplash off the top of the ladder on Brother Ray. Rhino hit the gore putting Ray through the table & took the pin for the good win. EXCELLENT MATCH! Best of the night so far. Having Johnny Devine help in a postmatch beatdown completely destroyed all the credibility that hard match had just built up, it was almost as though Russo had been watching the whole match then suddenly remembered 3D are supposed to be heels & sent Devine out to reinforce that idea despite 3D getting over with the fans. Abyss made the eventual save of Cage & Rhino.

My thoughts:- In hindsight I'd have not gone with the postmatch beatdown, this was an ideal time for Team 3D to regain their face status as the fans watching this match very clearly indicated.

Last man Standing Match, Kurt Angle vs AJ Styles. Angle didn't seem willing to start this & the crowd showed their feelings with a VERY LOUD boo as he jumped out of the ring for the 3rd time. I assume with only the main event to come they'd been given at least 30 minutes of time to fill hence Angle slowing the match down with all the headlocks & mat work. Angle has clearly raised his game for TNA as he did a front somersault into a backsplash on Styles off part of the stage. I liked that Angle tried to hit the Styles Clash on AJ & that AJ got his 1st pin on Angle off the Ankle lock. Why did the ref not DQ Angle for the lowblow, he actually saw him do it as well! The camera was very badly placed & revealed exactly how little contact Styles actually made with the Pele. Styles looked like he was going for the BME but Angle threw him clean across the ring for a pin but no 10 count only to hit Styles with the Olympic slam as soon as he got up for a 2nd pin. Angle stood ready to hit another Olympic Slam but AJ hit him with the Styles Clash out of nowhere! Angle got up after 9 (for the 2nd time) & Styles looked like he might have been going for a hurricanrana but instead DDT'd Angle off the top turnbuckle (which Angle sold like crazy!) & took another pin. Styles managed to get up after the count of 9 but Angle stayed down & Styles took the win. The 2nd half of this match was certainly a lot better than the 1st but it wasn't a brilliant match. The EMT's were seeing to Angle when Styles returned to the ring to work Angle over again, as Styles walked back up the ramp the lights went out & when they came back on Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on Styles on the ramp so I guess rumours of Sting's heel turn are true.

My thoughts:- In hindsight I would have cut the duration of this match by at least 10 minutes, if they'd just wrestled the final half of this match it would have been perfect.

6 Sides Of Steel With Weapons Heavyweight Title Match, Booker T vs Samoa Joe. By the time all the introductions had been done the show only had 13 minutes left to run so this match was only going to be that long at best, pretty poor length for a main event. When they finally did decide to get going this was all Joe from the bell, denying Booker the use of any weapons and making a nice Senton onto Booker, crushing a trashcan onto him. It wasn't all 1 way though, Booker got plenty of offensive shots on Joe, cutting his head with a chair. The middle of the match was pretty even with both guys taking as much as they were dishing out. Possibly the best move of this match (and probably of the whole night) was Joe kicking Booker in the head when they were both stood on the top rope. Joe had Booker set up for the Muscle Buster into 2 chairs but he fought out of it to slam Joe into the chair then hit the Bookend, Booker hit Joe with the axe kick & the lights went out. When they came back on Joe had a guitar (I guess their setting up for the return of Jeff Jarrett at long last then?) and got the pin to retain his title.

My thoughts, a summary:- This was a very poor PPV, the 1st 3 matches ranged from f**king awful to bad. The one match that was any good (the street fight) was ruined by the run-in & beatdown afterwards so TNA Creative really truly f**ked up what had been a really popular match with the fans. Quite frankly the main event was a joke, especially in terms of running time. Joe's ability was the 1 thing that saved it from being atrocious. TNA will have to work very hard in the coming month to make up for this very weak and exceptionally poor PPV.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 7th Aug 08

Show kicks off with more in what seems to be BG James' push as an announcer.

Anything Goes Knockout Bimbo Brawl, Traci Brooks as guest Referee - Jaqueline vs Roxxi. With Moose out injured they've substituted Jackie so it'll be interesting to see how she copes in a hardcore match. Jackie had a very short time on top from the bell but when Roxxi came back she came back hard & Jackie took some good bumps (especially back first into the ring steps). Jackie got back on top after reversing Roxxi into a nice drop toe hold onto a chair (looks like Raven has been training some of the women then). Roxxi got the win after hitting the Voodoo Drop in an good match for both women.

Sonjay Dutt vs Curry Man. Curry Man was on top for most of this but Dutt took the win with the help of some leverage off the ropes. Super Eric did a nice palm (who taught him magic?) to "find the ring" in Dutts tights but he managed to persuade Val it'd fallen into his clothes when she went to visit him in "hospital".

Tag Match, The Motor City Machine Guns vs Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed. I fully expected & predicted The Guns to job with Creed working this match as he's getting the push at the moment. Shelley & Lethal gave a great opening exchange to kick this off. The Guns were generally on top for the most of this match & were the better team by a country mile. Creed took the (easily predicted) win pinning Shelley (who wasn't the legal man anyway) with a roll-up.

Karen's Angle with Frank Trigg. No-one cares & never did.

8 Man Tag Team No DQ Match - Beer Money & Team 3D vs LAX, Christian Cage & Rhino. This was lots of action both in ring & out, both teams were on top with way too much action to call. Homicide took the win with the Gringo Cutter on James Storm. Beer Money put Homicide through an unconvincing looking "glass" table during the post match beatdown which had been set up for Rhino so hopefully that's setting up for a Beer Money vs Team 3D match to get 3D back as faces again.

Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed & The Beautiful People) vs Salinas (which explained why she didn't come out with the rest of LAX earlier). Kong won off the Awesome Bomb in a stupidly short match. After giving Salinas an Implant Buster they set her up for a 2nd Awesome Bomb onto a chair then Gail Kim, Taylor Wilde ran down & it all kicked off. Kong took some hits & dropkicks from Wilde before catching her with a forearm as Wilde jumped off the top turnbuckle & was about to nail her with the Awesome Bomb onto a chair when Abyss came out & made the save. Raisha Saeed had to pull Kong out of the ring & hopefully that's a match their setting up for in the near future, Abyss vs Awesome Kong sounds like it'd be insane!

8 Man Weapons Gauntlet Match (rules are 2 men start off & can bring in the weapon of their choice then another more 2 men enter every 2 minutes, elimination is by going over the top rope to the floor until its 2 men left then its pinfall or submission). Kurt Angle (who brought a trashcan) & AJ Styles (who bought a ladder) started this one off. Next in after the 2 minutes had elapsed were Matt Morgan (who brought a chair) & Tomko (who brought a 2 by 4). Morgan chased Tomko out of the ring area, leaving Styles & Angle to battle on alone. I loved Styles taking the Irish Whip (which West & Tenay called "a catapult", idiots) head first into the chair. Next in were BG James (who brought another chair) & Kip James (who brought a "Dead End" road sign). BG ran round the ring to jump Kip before he ever made it into the ring. BG nailed Kip in the head with his own sign. Angle hit the Ladder & badly cut his head open (you could tell the ref's were really concerned as 2 rolled onto the apron to ask Angle if he was alright & you could see Angle say "I'm fine"). He even managed an Olympic Slam on Styles & took a Pele to the head as well. The last 2 guys to come into the ring were Booker T (who bought a baseball bat) & Samoa Joe (who bought the extendable baton).

During the break Matt Morgan eliminated Kip James. AJ Styles eliminated Kurt Angle as they came back from the break (I assume so he could receive medical attention for his head wound) & Booker T eliminated AJ Styles seconds after that. (I'm not sure if Angle putting Styles into the Ankle Lock was because he was genuinely pissed off about the head wound or if it was a work) Morgan had a short moment on top but was eliminated by Booker T & Tomko working together. Tomko eliminated Booker T after Joe pushed him into Booker whilst he was straddled on the top rope. Tomko was going to hit Joe with the trashcan off the top turnbuckle but Joe kicked Tomko who dropped the trashcan onto his own head then Joe hit the Musclebuster to take the win in a really good main event. This week's Impact more than makes up for last week's pathetic offering.

Movie Review - The Dark Knight

OK, ignore the so called "great opening scene" of the bank robbery. It's good but its nothing to be spouting the word "brilliant" over. The 2nd scene with fake batmen is better (along with a throwaway appearnce of The Scarecrow which is a complete waste of time as it's not explained or ulitised at all really) but you don't know who the real Batman is, especially when he's talking like he's got a really sore throat or is doing an incredibly poor Clint Eastwood "Dirty Harry" impression.

And that's what ruins his dialogue with Chief Gordon in the 3rd scene in the bank vault and in the rest of the movie in fact. Call me old fashioned but I like to be able to HEAR clearly what the lead character in a movie has to say.

The movie looks OK, its suitably dark in places. The plot is average at best with The Joker robbing mob banks to get their attention so he can offer to kill Batman for half their money. Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker is unimpressive as he tries far too hard to be insane & falls short most of the time, its not this ultra-dark madman that all the critics & fans will have you believe it is. Cesar Romero's Joker was scarier than that. Jack Nicholson's Joker buries Ledger & keeps the shovel as a souvenir.

Ledger's Joker is not only not scary he's also a liar who can't keep his stories straight. Like the story of how he got the scars on his face. That his father did it or that he did it to himself with a razor to appease his wife. Make your mind up writers?

In the scene where they are having the parade for the dead Commissionar is that Noel Fielding of The Mighty Boosh as one of The Jokers gunmen? We're shown Gordon is killed (and the movie just jumped the shark at that exact moment) then Bruce Wayne offers to turn himself in as Batman to stop Joker's killing spree (a storyline I'd have prefered them pursue persoanlly, it sounded like a much better idea) . Local District Attorney Harvey Dent (a name Batman fans will recognise right away) organises a press conference then outs himself as Batman to the surprise of Bruce Wayne.

During the prisoner transfer scene there's lots of views of Lower Whacker Drive so yet again this was filmed in Chicago & they obviously don't think anyone has ever seen The Blues Brothers. More vehicle chasing & the ONLY good moment of Ledger's Joker is him demanding Batman run him down on the motorcycle then Joker is captured & its revealed Gordon wasn't really dead & he's appointed Commissionar.

Telling Batman he's captured Dent & Rachel (Batman's love interest from the previous film not being played by the same actress as before but I didn't even notice that) he then reveals where they both are so Batman can only rescue one of them. Batman goes to where he thinks Rachel is but it turns out that's where Dent is. Rachel is killed in an explosion (unfortunately her "dead" body blinks when we see it in an awesomely not intended to be funny goof) and half of Dent's face is burnt (this is how he becomes Two-Face).

Having distracted Batman & the Police away from the station Joker uses his phone-call to detonate a bomb inside one of his men then goes to find the Japanese Mob boss that the police had in custody. The trouble with the movie is it's at least 1 hour too long. It takes too long for Dent to become Two-Face, it takes Joker too long to put his millions of plans into action & achieve all their aims. Threatening the hospitals to allow Joker to get to Dent. The other back story (fronted by Two-Face) of 2 traitors within Gordon's unit (with the 2nd turning about to be Gordon's PA) is played alongside the main plot of The Joker trying to get people to kill each other is just one of the reasons why this movie is too long by an hour. You can't have 2 villains with 2 different agenda's. Pick 1 guy & 1 story then stick with it.

In the hostage situation it was painfully obvious that the clowns were hostages as soon as Gordon looked at them through the binoculars (only a brain dead idiot didn't work THAT out in a microsecond). To have Batman attacked by dogs a 2nd time is just to return to the start of
the movie (and whats the point in doing that so close to the damn ending!) & we already knew he'd improved the costume to be bite-proof so this was a pointless scene.

The only really good scene in the whole movie is the reaction of the prisoners on the ferry (throwing their detonator out of the window). The conversation between Joker & Batman is too long and pointless, the movie should end right there (actually it should have ended over an
hour ago but that's beside the point) but the director felt the need to close his final storyline with Gordon confronting Two-Face (not like Gordon ever did anything to Dent but why let a huge plot-hole like that spoil you dragging out the ending of your movie).

Two-Face shows exactly how weak (for weak read "incredibly crap paper thin plot idea") his justification of taking Gordon's family is. When a villain is actually telling you the audience that his motives are crap, you (Warner Studio's) should really be considering sacking the person
who wrote the script as he's completely derailing himself as having a believable motive.

Two-Face shooting Batman is also pointless as the audience already known his costume was upgraded with Kevlar after the 2nd scene. The ending (if you can call it that) is sheer crap. Batman telling Gordon to make Dent a posthumous hero & blame the deaths he had caused on Batman. Batman telling Gordon to send the police after him. And not finding out what
happened to The Joker. An incredibly weak movie, WAY too long for its own good. Too many villains with individual story lines to follow. What little ending there is is left gapingly open to allow for a sequel which hopefully won't happen with Bale having recently been arrested for assault.

Movie Review - The X Files: I Want to Believe

Anyone rating this higher than 1/10 either works for Fox or is so much of an idiot (for idiot read "gullible X-Files fan who'll buy anything with the shows name on it") that they actually think this is a good movie. This is a truly awful movie. It starts out with an unknown woman being chased by 2 unknown male assailants for an unknown reason. Are you starting to see a pattern of unknown stuff? Anyway the FBI contact Scully who is working as a Doctor at a Catholic Hospital to help them find a missing FBI agent but they want her to help them find Mulder
(who is wanted by the FBI but we're never told why) as its his kind of case, something weird.

It turns out Scully is living with Mulder (are they married?) so the movie has already jumped the shark as the whole point of their relationship in the series was always a "will they, won't they" and left open to debate. Mulder is sucked back into a world he'd been away from and goes off to meet the man helping the FBI to find their missing agent, Father Joe (played by Billy Connolly) who is a disgraced and defrocked Priest having been discovered as a Pedophile (you'll get numerous references to his having "buggered Alter Boys") but is also a supposed psychic who is getting visions.

His visions never lead them to the missing agent, instead we go through a world of kidnap, organ harvesting & stem cell research before finally discovering the missing agent (who is found by Mulder) and some very questionable Frankenstein style surgery. The films plot is far too complicated with characters who you never really learn about getting killed but you won't really care anyway, making it very difficult to follow what little plot there is. The end resolution is pretty c**p as well, Father Joe dying. Your also unsure if Scully's patient is ever cured and if Mulder & Scully reunite.

Mitch Pileggi is brought back as Skinner and even he can't save this god awful film. There isn't enough that doesn't confuse to make a clear understandable film that has an actual ending. I didn't even realise Xzibit was playing the Agent who was constantly doubting Father Joe's
abilities as it doesn't look like him at all. I'd wait until this is released on DVD and watch it with the commentary on, it might make the film a bit easier to follow & understand.
Otherwise steer well clear, its really awful.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 31st Jul 08

Most of tonights wrestler intro's showed graphics from the upcoming TNA game which is relased in September, it looked damn cool!

#1 Contenders Tag Match, Beer Money vs Rhino & Christian Cage. Predicting Beer Money to win this before the match ever started to allow LAX to get a return match against Beer Money at the PPV. Awful match with nothing worth talking about happening in it & an even worse Russo inspired finish. Beer Money win after interference by Jaqueline & Team 3D. And that's how predictable this match was.

6 Man Tag Team Contest - Johnny Devine & The Rock 'N Rave Infection vs Curry Man, Shark Boy & Jay Lethal. West & Tenay proving to be their usual observant selves "Watch Johnny Devine as he takes that knee & puts it in the neck of Curry Man" - funny place to have a neck, the knee was right on the ribcage of Curry Man. A pretty weak match considering the X Division talent involved, Lethal got the eventual win pulling the Lethal Combination on Jimmy Rave.

Booker T gives his personal tour of the 6 Sides Of Steel with weapons. Samoa Joe joins him & the crowd are screaming "Joe's gonna kill you", Nash was keeping the cage door shut and Joe jumped Booker & started punching 7 shades of shite out of him. Sharmell comes down to try and stop it & gets carried off by Nash, Joe watches them go and a baseball bat is dropped into the ring on a cord. Booker nails Joe yet again and West & Tenay are still seeing Sting where Sting wasn't seen.

AJ Styles demands answers from Sting. Does no-one get that you can buy a bat like that in ANY sporting goods store. It's not like there's just 1 and it belongs to Sting - How stupid do TNA think we are? Styles gets jumped by Kurt Angle.

Consequences Creed vs Petey Williams. It's a non-title match so it doesn't really matter what the result is, kinda like TNA's version of "Whose Line Is It Anyway". Williams is obviously fully healed up now after his broken orbital bone as he was taking headshots & finally doing aerial stuff (including an amazing Hurricanrana from in-ring to the floor). Creed took the eventual win which was pretty predictable as he's getting a big push at the moment.

Part 2 of Karen's Angle with Kaz. Does anyone believe the "I'm leaving" story for a second? No, me neither.

Matt Morgan vs Sal Rinauro (ROH Alum) - Morgan took a quick win off the Hellavator. Morgan calls out Tomko who comes out but Security breaks it up. Tomko jumps Morgan but gets put down by the big boot then takes the Hellavator. And its seeing Tomko work an angle like that makes me disbelieve reports of him "leaving TNA".

Main Event Knockout Tag Match, The Beautiful People vs Gail Kim & Taylor Wilde. Who was that Gail hugged when she came down the ramp? Her sister maybe? Wilde & Sky kicked this one off with Sky jumping Wilde once her back was turned but soon running to tag in Love once Wilde gave her legs a few hard kicks. Love & Kim had a good long run together with Love mainly on top. Kim dropkicked Sky & Love allowing Wilde to get the roll-up and pin Sky for the win. The post match beatdown was predictable as well (and is now happening far too often show a distinct lack of creativity) but Kim & Wilde fought back to gain the upper hand until Awesome Kong came down to the ring. Kim was given the Awesome Bomb and Wilde got one too. ODB & Roxxi came out to face off to Kong who finally did bail out after seeing Roxxi had a chair. Probably the best match of the night but it didn't really have much competition for that status.