My TNA Monthly Catch-up, Jan - Feb 08

Yes indeed ladies and germs it is that time of the month again where I review the previous months Impacts and PPV. Unlike certain people who "write" reviews (if you can call cut N pasting someone else's work wholesale actually writing a review) in these newsgroups I actually watch what I'm reviewing. Also if I don't know something about a worker, I look it up (Evad, take note!) . The views stated within are my own from my very own brain and I don't like something I'll say so, I'm not a sheep. If I feel something is boring or not relevant to the advancement of TNA I won't even bother mentioning it. I am liable to curse, swear and use other such colourful idioms, real people generally speak that way. If you don't like what I have to say then don't read the reviews, its that simple! All feedback on the catch-ups is most welcome and I will respond to every comment made.

TNA Global Impact From Tokyo, Japan 4th Jan 08 - Why was this aired on 17th Jan, almost 2 weeks after the fact? TNA is working with New Japan and we get lots of chatter/background information.
Petey Williams, AJ Styles & Christian Cage were in a 6 man tag which they won.

Abyss had a thumbtack match which he lost.

Team 3d had a tables tag match which they won.

I'd name check the Japs but I never saw any names written down.

Tomko & Giant Bernard (A-Train) fought The Steiner Brothers and won.

Kurt Angle defended his IWGP heavyweight title against Yuji Nagata. This was the only match we got to see all of. The Japs obviously like their technical/mat wrestling as that's what was mostly being done in this match. Any US crowd would have been chanting "BORING" in less than 2 minutes. Angle won off the Ankle lock. A decent display of technical wrestling but it was WAY too long with far too much mat work for a western audience. I would have liked to have seen more of all the other matches and feel this show was a bit of a gyp to be honest. Someone said they were doing a dvd of the whole show, I assume that's why they held back all but 1 match.

Impact 10th Jan 08 - Tag match, Senshi & Elix Skipper vs The Motor City Machine Guns. A fairly short but very good and fast paced match with Shelley & Sabin taking a well deserved win.

Christian Cage bores us on the mic.

Judas Mesias vs Chris Harris - The best you could hope for here was a REALLY short match as neither guy has much talent, I'll be honest I watched most of this on fast forward so it didn't get much of my attention, Mesias got the win.

Tag Match - VKM vs Petey Williams (now being nicknamed Maple Leaf Muscle) & Sonjay Dutt. This is a bit of a mismatch to be honest, 2 X-Division guys against 2 heavyweights. Steiner stealing his Feast Or Fired case back was a bit of a pointless thing (it's already on record who won what, so it doesn't matter who has which case), Williams went off after his case leaving Dutt alone to get the win off Kip for his team. Sonjay kissing SoCal Val (for the 2nd time now) is setting up a match in the future against Jay Lethal.

More boring backstage s**te.

Robert Roode comes out to bore us on the mic. Miss Brooks gets fired (that's the set-up for the superfan/stalker to be his valet then) then gets beaten down by the superfan coming out from the crowd. Roode introduces her as her replacement , Miss Banks. (like I predicted in fact!)

Return Tag Team Match - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs LAX with their new valet Salinas, LAX getting the eventual win.

Sharkboy vs Tomko - This whole "injured" Sharkboy angle is very dull and I really can't see where their going with it at all. Tomko got an obvious win in a very dull and short squash match.

Some c**p from The Angle Alliance.

Main Event TNA Knockout Womens Title Rematch - Awesome Kong vs Gail Kim. Isn't this actually Awesome Kong's 2nd rematch? Kong had someone (who is later referred to as Raisha Saeed, aka former WWE worker Melissa Anderson) with her (like she needs the help?) and jumped Kim before the introductions were ever done. Lots of out of ring stuff, Kong going through a wall on the ramp. Kim pulled a great ddt off the top turnbuckle. Ref Hebner f**ked up by getting in Kim's way. Kong made 3 powerbombs and finally wins the title.

Impact 17th Jan 08 - The Motor City Machine Guns & Jay Lethal accept Team 3d's challenge.

Tomko vs Eric Young - Another seemingly pointless match for Tomko who took the win.

TNA Knockout Womens Match - OBD vs Angelina Love. This was a really good match, both women showing good skills and taking great bumps. ODB won off a Davey Boy Smith style running powerslam.

Senshi vs Kaz - Considering the ability of these 2 guys this was an incredibly weak match with Kaz taking the win. Black Reign jumps him afterwards, I don't care why.

Lance Hoyt vs Abyss - This match never really got started with James Mitchell interrupting the match. Abyss won after the restart, and the secret is revealed - James Mitchell is his father. Very Star Wars.

Robert Roode (with new valet Peyton Banks) vs Sonjay Dutt - Sonjay's the better of these 2, showing his talent well but Roode took the win in a poor match.

BG James picks his tag partner, his father Bullet Bob Armstrong.

Angle bores us on the mic.

3 way Elimination Match - AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe vs Christian Cage. Its a bit of a weird one this, If Joe wins he gets a title shot, If Cage wins he gets a title shot but if Styles wins he earns Kurt Angle 2 weeks off. Joe got eliminated for throwing a chair out of the ring that he'd never used. (a bit of b**ls**t IMHO), Cage got the win but this match was far too long for my liking.

Impact 24th Jan 08 - Kevin Nash comes down to bore us on the mic.

Tag Match - James Storm & Robert Roode with Peyton Banks (dressed like Miss Brooks Exactly Like I Predicted!) vs Eric Young & Sonjay Dutt. A really poor match, Roode took the win.

Jay Lethal wins best X-Division worker of 2007. Lethal looks like he finally dropped the Macho Gimmick.

Elix Skipper vs Sharkboy dressed in a Stone Cold Style waistcoat. Both guys worked well, Skipper seemed happy to put Sharkboy over and sold well when Sharkboy was on top. Sharkboy took the win (even his music sounds like SCSA's). Is it just me or does Sharkboy's SCSCA impression sound exactly like BG James?

Gail Kim wins 2007 Knockout of the year, getting a beatdown from Kong too.

1 Fall Street Fight for the X-Division Title - Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal. Basically a hardcore no rules match. A nice ddt by Lethal onto a chair but Devine got the win and the belt.

2007 Most memorable moment of TNA - Booker coming to TNA wins.

Tag Contest - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs Tiger Mask (from New Japan) & Curry Man (AKA Chris Daniels). It's nice to see Tiger Mask back in TNA & even better to see Curry Man better known as The Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels under the mask. A damn good match with Tiger Mask getting the win from a Flying Headbutt.

Samoa Joe wins 2007 TNA MVP, very well deserved too.

Tag Title Match - Team 3d vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs Tomko & AJ Styles. When the F**K did this turn into a 3 way dance? In the odd rules they said you can't tag you own partner or wrestle your own partner. With rules like that this match was always going to be messy. Tomko got the win and his team retained the belts after AJ left Tomko alone due to helping Karen Angle back to the locker room.

Impact 31st Jan 08 - Team 3d come down to bore us on the mic.

Tag Match - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs Petey Williams & Scott Steiner. Hoyt totally did not want to sell the Hurricanrana off Williams. Hoyt didn't want to sell a kick off Steiner either, is he going soft? Rave got the win after Steiner clobbered Williams with one of the cases.

BJ James vs Hernandez - Hernandez got the win after Roxxi threw powder into Kip's eyes by mistake, Roxxi gets fired from VKM.

Judas Mesias vs Corey Chambers (a totally unknown jobber) in a total squash match.

Sharkboy issues an open challenge, no takers.

3 Way Knockouts Match - Roxxi Laveaux vs Angelina Love vs ODB. Not a great match for the girls, Love got the win.

Mixed Tag Match - Robert Roode & Peyton Banks & James Storm vs Sonjay Dutt & Traci Brooks (back to her original name again like I predicted) & Eric Young. A very weak match, Roode got the pin off Young for the win.

Kurt Angle vs Tomko with AJ Styles as guest ref. THIS was a main event? In what universe was this considered worthy to main event? A huge pile of garbage with Tomko taking the win off the worlds slowest 3 count after Christian Cage nailed Kurt with his belt.

Impact 7th Feb 08 - Robert Roode vs Jay Lethal - never started, Roode got jumped by Booker T before Roode ever made it to the ring.

Non-title Knockout Match - Traci Brooks vs Awesome Kong. Well this was going to be VERY short. Expected to be a squash match. Traci got a lot longer out of Kong than most of the women normally do. Kong took the expected win.

A 4 Corners Capture Misty Match - Kaz vs Black Reign. TNA management have officially gone crazy, they may as well have let Vince Russo take a s**t into the ring on live tv. This is a Rat on a Pole match. It's THAT F**KING STUPID! The 1st 2 boxes had traps in them both Kaz & Black Reign finding 1 each (and both totally overselling the "pain"), Black Reign found the 3rd trap, Kaz found Misty winning the match. Black Reign hit Kaz with his darkness falls weapon and reclaimed Misty.

X Division Title Match - Johnny Devine vs Homicide of LAX. Devine was alone but Homicide had the new valet Salinas. Homicide had this one in the bag until Team 3d interfered, match ending a DQ for outside interference.

Tag Match - Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave vs Curry Man (AKA Chris Daniels) & Sharkboy (carrying on in his new SCSA persona which I don't much care for). As Curry Man, Daniels obviously doesn't mind jobbing but he's definitely getting over in the mask for sure. Sharkboy took the pin for his team.

Tiger Mask vs AJ Styles - Tiger Mask getting yet another chance to improve TNA/New Japan links. Styles was showing some of his old magic, Tiger Mask showed some great aerial moves (loved that standing moonsault!). Styles took a good win looking better than he has in a while.

Main Event, Christian Cage vs Judas Mesias - How is Mesias worthy of a main event? This was never going to be much to write home about really, was it? Cage is a good enough worker but not even he could carry this match as long as they ran it. Mesias simply hasn't got the skillset to work a match of this length, he's strictly a short match person. Cage took the win, Abyss had chased James Mitchell backstage with his arm wrapped in barbed wire and then came back after the pin to beatdown Mesias with the barbed wire. Styles came down to beatdown Cage as well, Angle had to rescue Styles from a sharpshooter & Tomko had to save Cage from a double team.

Against All Odds PPV 2008 - Tag Title Match - BG James & Bullet Bob Armstrong vs AJ Styles & Tomko. A title match to start off a PPV? Aren't these usually saved until the end of the card? On the face of it the champs looked like they would win but Styles & Tomko have been having problems recently. For 67, Bob works damn well! He's a darn sight more talented than Pacman Jones ever was, thats for certain. He took good bumps off both Tomko & Styles. Both guys sold convincingly for him as well. BG looked a lot better than he has done for a while but Tomko got the win after Styles hit BG in the knee hard. Loved the "Old Age Outlaws" sign in the crowd too.

TNA Knockout Grudge Match - Peyton Banks vs Traci Brooks. This was only going to be a scrap as Banks has never shown any actual wrestling ability yet. Banks has let her hair dye fade (she now has brown hair, having gone from blonde to black like Traci again pretty much like I predicted). Banks did show a few moves but not many. Traci got the better of this, looked better, had a wider arsenal of moves & looked the better trained of the 2 women. Brooks got the eventual win.

Case vs Case Match - Petey Williams vs Scott Steiner, the winner getting both a heavyweight title shot & an X-Division title shot. If we're honest they are STILL dragging out the Feast Or Fired angle here. And that was s**t. At best I was hoping for a really short match with a quick pin. These guys have totally opposing styles and really DON'T belong in a match together. An overly long match, Steiner got the win thanks to a hot black chick distracting Williams.

Drinking Championship Belt Match - James Storm vs Eric Young. Eric Young as a moronic imbecile is WAY old now, can they please kill the "scared of my own pyro" thing? Here's a match that doesn't belong on TV, let alone a PPV. Rhyno gored Storm behind the refs back, Eric Young took the win and retains his belt. Rhyno is back!

TNA Knockout Womens Title Match - Awesome Kong vs ODB. Why was this so low in the card? It certainly should have been higher than the non-title barbed wire match. I so wanted ODB to win this match, she's an ideal person to be Womens Champion. ODB might not have the same height or weight as Kong but she has a huge amount of spirit & fight and I didn't expect her to take a beating timidly from Kong. Is it just me or when ODB screams does she remind anyone else of Bobcat Goldthwait? If Chyna were to consider a comeback she'd have good people to work with in TNA like ODB and Kong. ODB's slam off the top turnbuckle was pretty awesome but Kong got the win thanks to a distraction by Raisha Saeed. ODB had a great match though.

Barbed Wire Massacre 2 - Abyss vs Judas Mesias. Basically a no rope barbed wire match. So serious the main stadium wouldn't let them hold it there, they claimed. So we cross over to The Impact Zone. (This one was SO obviously taped after the last Impact show, the exact same crowd was there. Mitchell had even changed his suit to try & convince us it wasn't the same day). I honestly didn't expect to see Mesias go on the wire very much with his ring clothes. We saw the use of a barbed wire chair, & several barbed wire boards. Hebner was VERY badly out of position after Abyss's 2 Black Hole Slams on Mitchell & Mesias. Abyss got a well deserved win after a Black Hole Slam into a barbed wire board on the canvas.

1 Fall Grudge Match - Robert Roode vs Booker T. Peyton appeared to have recovered from her match with Traci. I didn't expect to see anything fancy from Booker here, just aggression. Booker is in yet another PPV pretty high up the card as well. This match was way too long, getting into silly territory when Roode went backstage. The result was a double count-out (after a match THIS long? Are you S***TING ME?) but Booker took it back to his car.

6 Man Hardcore Street Fight for the X-Division Championship - Team 3d & Johnny Devine vs Jay Lethal & The Motor City Machine Guns. Stipulations are if 3d win, the X-Division disbands. If Lethal & Co win TNA will create a weight limit of 275 lbs for all workers. Obviously this result was a forgone conclusion before the match ever started. TNA were hardly going disband the X-Division who not only fill more than half the TNA roster, they are also one of TNA's biggest selling points so this was always going to be a win for Lethal & Co. The ref was very badly out of position to make a count after the triple Tornado DDT. Lethal & The Guns were ahead until then. For those wondering, SoCal Val is more than able to take bumps, she's been working a few Indy feds for a while (Oh, and FYI her real middle name is actually Elizabeth!). I'm not sure if they were using this to set-up up her eventual TNA in-ring debut to wrestle or for her to become his valet. Lethal took the win off Devine with a flying elbow through a table winning for his team, saving the X-Division & winning the X-Division Title again finally taking it back from Team 3d.

Heavyweight Championship Title - Kurt Angle vs Christian Cage with Samoa Joe as special guest enforcer. Alarm bells should have been ringing, hearing the words Special Guest Enforcer as historically they normally always screw someone out of a title. I assume Joe's role was to stop Styles or Tomko interfering? This match was way too long and way too boring for not only the main event but the Heavyweight title. Joe's main contribution seemed to be stopping Angle using a chair, filling in for the ref when he went down & stopping Styles. Tomko did a backbreaker on Cage while Joe was removing Styles and Angle took the win after reviving the ref once Tomko had gone.