My TNA Monthly Catch-up, Nov - Dec 06

Welcome to this months TNA Catch-up as reported by the totally unimpartial me, I call it as I see it. Last months catch-up was killed/lost by that annoying little T**T Outlook Express, as it decided to crash after I'd written up all the Impacts and 2/3's of the ppv. It didn't ask to save the posting, it just crashed and lost over 1hrs worth of writing. Hence no catch-up last month. This months catch-up is being done on wordpad to avoid that problem.

Impact 23rd Nov 06 - Show opens with Abyss & James Mitchell boring us on the mic. Run in from Christian Cage dressed as Sting, he bores us on the mic. The real Sting calls out Cage.

AJ Styles & Chris Daniels vs The Naturals. Aj & Daniels get the win in "their last match together as a tagteam".

VKM vid insert.

Cornette on the mic, LAX break up a flag raising. Seriously CHEAP heat! Angle cleans house. Enter Samoa Joe, who now believes the hype about his so called "undefeated" streak (during which he was beaten 5 times, including losing a title).

More vid insert from the VKM.

Robert Roode bad mouths Eric Young (dressed as turkey for thanksgiving I assume, why though - he's Canadian, not American) and demands a rematch. Young gets the win and this is The Gobbledy Gooker all over again.

Nash vid insert, BORING!

Cage V Sting (#1 contender match, though why bother? Sting was already anyway) - an even match until Tyson Tomko (formerly of WWE) nails Sting while the ref is "out cold", no winner.

Impact 30th Nov 06 - New blonde girl Latisha interviews LAX.

Christian Cage (with Tomko) comes to the ring & bores us on the mic.

Cornette calls a 3 way dance for the PPV title match.

VKM vid insert.

3 way #1 contender match for the X-Division, Chris Sabin vs Sonjay Dutt Vs Jay Lethal. Sabin gets the win as he's flavour of the month. VKM vid insert.

Nash Vid insert, boring!

Tag team match, Truth & Lance Hoyt vs Alex Shelley & Austin Starr (AKA Austin Aries) - return match from the last ppv, Shelley gets the win by grabbing the trousers, but is then DQ'd and the win is reversed thanks to Aries.

More VKM vid insert rubbish from the WWE raid.

Sting talks to Abyss, Cage & Tomko jump Abyss.

Tag Title match - LAX vs Kurt Angle & Petey Williams, Williams had already been jumped by LAX backstage before the match. Samoa Joe comes out to watch Angle's back as promised last week. Joe & Angle make an excellent tagteam! Match is ruled a no contest by Cornette, LAX keep the belts. (Who is LAX's Attorney? He looks so familar, he's obviously a wrestler - he's huge!).

Impact 7th Dec 06 - Rhyno comes out and bores us on the mic, calling out AJ Styles.

Petey Willams vs Homocide. Williams gets the win in a fair fight then LAX jump him just like last week. AMW run in to make the save.

VKM news insert (can someone who watches WWE explain the whole "no pants" thing?).

Nash vid insert, really dull!

Eric Young Vs Senshi. Senshi wins thanks to assistance from Miss Brooks.

VKM news vid insert again.

Cornette books a flag match challenge AMW vs LAX for Turning Point PPV.

Cage bores us, Abyss jumps him but gets done over by Tomko. Sting saves Abyss and gets beaten down for his trouble by Abyss.

The All Star War - Sting vs Samoa Joe vs Christian Cage vs Rhyno (who gets jumped by AJ Styles) vs Kurt Angle vs Abyss. Rhyno vanished off fighting backstage with Styles before the match even began. This was a PPV quality match on regular tv. Angle gets the win after making a save on Samoa Joe from Cage.

Turning Point PPV 06 - Kevin Nash comes out to provide colour for the 5 way Papparazzi Championship Series X Division match. Senshi vs Jay Lethal vs Alex Shelley vs Sonajay Dutt vs Austin Starr (aka Austin Aries dressed like Macho Man). This was an elimination match for points.

Dutt eliminates Shelley with a Camel Clutch thanks to help from Starr and Senshi, Shelley scores a point and is eliminated. Senshi eliminates Lethal who scores 2 points. Nash needs to know about Slander by the way as he keeps saying Dutt is on steroids. Nash, call your lawyer you fool.
Were the crowd chanting "Suck his d**k" to Dutt about Starr? Sonjay scores 3 points as Starr eliminates him. Senshi eliminates Starr who scores 4 points and Senshi gets the win and 5 points thanks to help from Alex Shelley.

Eric Young vs Miss Brooks in a Bikini Contest (judged by the fans) - Traceys outfit was a swimsuit with cut-out tummy panel, very nice in red trimmed with black. Eric wore a t-shirt with a bikini printed onto it, underneath that was a pair of Spongebob Boxer shorts, underneath that were Spongebob trunks. Miss Brooks outfit wasn't a bikini either, a bikini is 2 pieces, not a slashed 1 piece. This should have been a double dq as neither person wore a proper bikini. Eric got the fan verdict, but was beaten down by Roode.

X Division Title - Chris Sabin vs Chris Daniels, Jerry Lynn as special referee. This was called right down the middle by Lynn, lots of in and out ring action which was very even by both Daniels & Sabin. Daniels took a well deserved win from the BME (Best Moonsault ever). little bit of an aftermath with Lynn slapping Daniels for not showing respect. Weird. Is this setting up a Jerry Lynn comeback match?

Cornette chats to some baseball people who we Brits have no clue about, this was obviously set up as a scrap and it was S**TE!

Aj Styles vs Rhyno - This started backstage as Rhyno was being interviewed and AJ jumped him. Lots of backstage area fighting which came through the bleachers and the crowd onto the ramp and into the ring. Then the bells rings, funny t**t that timekeeper. Aj hurt his knee being backdropped out of the ring over the ropes. Aj says "I heard it pop" and AJ was faking as he ran into the ring and pinned Rhyno (with the wrong ref making the count by the way so it wasn't a legal win however it's called as Hebner counted it but Rudy Charles was the official).

Some garbage backstage thing pastiching Vince (who was playing him?).

Non-title Flag Match - AMW vs LAX. Russo's "Things on a pole" influence is very clear in the booking of this match. LAX get the win after AMW bump heads.

VKM come out dressed as Shaun Micheals and HHH. I assume the 4 guys were The Spirit Squad having never seen them ever. Can someone who watches WWE, explain the fat greasy guy? VKM shoot on Vince big time. VKM call out Dx for $1 million and call Vince "a gutless pice of s**t".

Heavyweight Title - A 3 way dance between Sting, Abyss & Christian Cage (again for some reason the title isn't the main event match, another case of TNA s***ting on the NWA title for the 2nd time in 2 months). Every time Abyss uses thumbtacks or a chokeslam both Mick Foley & The Undertaker must cringe at him stealing their gimmicks. Abyss won after a Black Hole Slam but this was a really scrappy awful match that didn't belong in a tv show, let alone a ppv.

Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe - No titles involved, just a rematch and this was the main event? F**k that s**t, the main title belts are the main event and TNA need to learn that pretty darn sharpish. This was a mainly technical wrestling match, lots of holds, submission moves and mat work. Angle tapped out while the ref was "unconcious", please don't b**ls**t us with that very old idea of a knocked out ref. FFS. Nice kick in the balls from Angle on Joe (he'd never feel it, those guys wear cups anyway). Joe wins with the rear naked choke hold, having made Angle tap out twice in 1 match.