Wrestlemania 24 PPV, 30th Mar 08 reviewed

Well, I haven't seen a 'Mania for a VERY long time and I'm looking forward to seeing WWE's flagship show. This is supposed to set the standards that all WWE shows should be trying to follow. The views contained within are my own, I have been known to swear and use colourful adjectives so if such language is likely to offend or you don't like my views then don't read the review.

After 6 minutes and 21 seconds of c**p we get the 1st match.

Belfast Brawl (no DQ or count out) - JBL vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle). To even get to Finlay's intro took them over 3 minutes. Talk about flogging a dead horse! JBL took the fight out to Finlay on the floor before the bell even rang. Finlay just is NOT the hardcore guy he used to be back in his WCW days anymore, I wouldn't have even put this match on a house show card never mind as the 1st match of the years biggest PPV! JBL got a c***py win in a VERY poor match. Score out of 10? Zero.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match (1st to get the briefcase above the ring can compete in any championship match they want at a future date in the next year) - John Morrison (so that's no tag belts on the line tonight then?) vs Carlito vs Shelton Benjamin (WTF did he do to his hair?) vs CM Punk vs Mr Kennedy (Is he Jeff Jarrett's secret lovechild or what?) vs MVP (so that's WWE telling you another belt isn't on the line tonight) vs Chris Jericho (so that's yet another belt that won't be contested tonight either. Wow, don't WWE f**king hate their fans?). My match highlights were Morrisons early ladder moonsault, Shelton Benjamins triple sunset flip (has he been taking lessons from Elix Skipper?). Kennedys whatever it was smashing Punk into the ladder while he was still on his back, Shelton's backdrop onto the ladder outside the ring breaking in in half (someone was watching The Briscoe's on ROH's Man Up PPV?). Jericho's Tarantula stretch on Morrison on the ladder, Punks facebuster on Kennedy off the ladder, Carlito's backstabber on Jericho off the ladder. CM Punk took the win but this was a weak finish to a decent match. Score out of 10? A well earned 8.

Clips from HOF ceremony & The Fink introduces the class of 2008 - Jack & Jerry Brisco, Gordon Solie (represented by his family), Rocky Johnson, High Chief Peter Maivia (represented by his wife and daughter), Eddie Graham (represented by his son), Mae Young & Rick Flair (represented by his kids, David looks REALLY chunky these days!).

Smackdown vs Raw - Batista vs Umaga. Umaga hasn't really changed much since he was in 3 Minute Warning a few years back. Its funny how when WWE fans knock TNA they all hate Samoa Joe but here's their version of Joe only with not as many moves. Batista won. Score out of 10? An overly generous 2.

Battle Royal - we never saw it, just highlights. Kane won & faces Chavo Guerrerro for the title.

ECW Championship - Chavo Guerrerro vs Kane. A bit of a disadvantage as Kane's already worked 1 match but Chavo was giving away height & weight advantage to Kane. Very short & extremely c**p match, Kane won. Score out of 10? Zero.

Career Threatening Match - Rick Flair vs Shaun Micheals. As Flair was inducted into the HOF this year this match was realistically only ever going to go 1 way. Is Flair the only HOF'er to ever actually work the 'Mania they were inducted at? Not a great match by any means but an emotional one, HBK took the win (mouthing "I'm sorry, I love you") but Flair got the bigger pop. Score out of 10? 7 on emotion only.

Playboy Bunny 'Mania Lumberjack Match - Ashley & Maria vs Beth Phoenix & Melina. (So yet another title not contested tonight then). By the looks of it, Ashley has inherited Christy Hemme's old wardrobe. The diva's didn't seem to know what the purpose of the lumberjacks was (did no-one think to tell them?). The lights going out midmatch was really funny (the ref saying loudly "keep going"). Phoenix looked like she didn't want any part of that bulldog and totally no-sold it & its set up too. Maria had the match but was robbed by that prat who King hit (match should have been called for Maria & Ashley right there, DQ on outside interference). Phoenix took the win for her team. Score out of 10? An overly generous 4 for aerials.

WWE Championship Triple Threat Match - John Cena vs HHH vs Randy Orton. Why is the main WWE title not the main event for 'Mania? Is it worth so little to WWE these days? Ortons acting & ability to sell Cena's f**king AWFUL sleeperhold were terrible & I noticed the announcers went out of their way to not say Crippler Crossface. At least both Trips & Cena sold that move really well. To be honest there were a LOT of very bad sells in this match & you don't expect it from guys this experienced. Orton got the win keeping his title. Score out of 10? 3 for very poor salesmanship.

Big Show vs Floyd Mayweather - Even with the stipulation that there must be a winner & anything goes this was only going to go 1 way. Someone as expensive as Mayweather was always going to win. I assume "Mayweather's people" were jobbers from somewhere like OVW? Mayweather took the predicted win in this AWFUL waste of time. Score out of 10? Zero.

World Heavyweight Championship Match - The Undertaker vs Edge. The undefeated streak was on the line once more but since when has the old WCW main belt been more important than the WWE main one? I guess Flair was having a chuckle to himself backstage that his old belt that used to get pixellated back in the day is now considered WWE's "Main Event". Bobby Heenan must be laughing his nuts off at home too. Taker's "injured arm" from the early fall was a way to give Edge something obvious to aim at in the match. Edge flubbed his 1st attempt at the front DDT (after 'Taker hit the ref) but recovered it quickly. Undertaker took the win off a submission to win the belt. Score out of 10? A generous 5.

By no means was this a great PPV and as a Wrestlemania it was pretty dire. The MITB match had the best moments & Flair really should have had everyone in the ring with him after his match to say a proper goodbye. Even though all the belts were present many weren't defended as they should have been. Basically that's WWE telling their fans we don't care enough about our belts to have them contested at what used to be our biggest PPV event. The women's title should have been up for grabs, ditto the Intercontinental belt, The Tag belts and whatever that piece of c**p is that MVP holds.