It might have Paul Verhoven's name on it. It might have Casper Van Diem making a welcome return as Johnny Rico. It might have Jolene Blalock adding the sci-fi clout of both Star Trek - Enterprise & Stargate SG1. It might even have Amanda Donahoe looking as hot as hell & playing an awesomely bad leader (Admiral Enolo Phid).
But it's still awful. It was released straight to dvd (always a bad sign), it has incredibly rubbish new bugs ( the attack of one which I debunked in seconds, the god awful Bomb Bug). For lots of the movie it plays up its camp appeal, it has its tongue firmly in its cheek far too often to be taken seriously by any viewer.
Add some bad plot ideas about religion, freedom & conspiracies & it makes for a pretty awful movie. Feel free to draw comparisons to things like Half Life 2 (the bugs in the sand are an idea obviously stolen from the game) & try to ignore how incredibly plastic both the guns & the acting look as well. Rico's new friend Dix Hauser is obviously a role that was written for Neil Patrick Harris that he very wisely turned down.
The whole idea of The Sky Marshall's religious conversion was really bad, it was pretty obvious he was the person who had turned off the base power near the start of the movie. You can also tell whoever wrote this knows nothing about military discipline as Lola could have shot Jingo for sedition any number of times when they crashed landed for most of the things he said to her & the way he said them.
Theres the standard gratuitous nude scene (did they seriously think we weren't going to recognise the scanner as the "Martian" sound effect from War Of The Worlds?) which I assume they are hoping to sell the entire movie on. There's also a throwaway line which is supposed to explain why The Sky Marshall is insane (too much exposure to a Brain Bug) & you have to question why Lola doesn't kill The Sky Marshall straight away (as a traitor) as soon as he reveals his god to be a Bug.
Asking Holly why she should kill him is a question that answers itself, he's a traitor which is an instant death sentance in their society & culture. Surely Lola would know that? Once the Brain Of Brains appears the movie has well & truly jumped the shark & they aren't even trying with the special effects any more (its the worst looking part of the whole film). Showing the lights of the incoming marauders as a halo around Holly's head & forcing Lola to pray (Jolene Blalock looks genuinely pissed off at having to do this in this scene!) but you do have ask why the fireball that destroys it doesn't kill Lola or Holly as well.
The CG battle between the bugs and the marauders is awful, it looks cheap (we're talking circa Quake 2 graphics cheap) & is done incredibly badly using slow motion and superimposing Holly & Lola praying over shots of the battle is the director trying to say that combat against an enemy is justified if done in the name of religion. Even worse is the shot of Holly shrouded in the blue blanket (trying to emulate the image of The Virgin Mary) which if the movie hasn't already been ruined for you this just adds to the sheer awfulness.
Having Dix & Lola blocking the shot of the planet exploding just goes to show how nervous the makers of this film were about their special effects, you'd think that was the 1 explosion they would have wanted us to see! Rico's court-martial & execution are forgotten & glossed over too easily, it also saddened me that they tried to ape JFK's funeral by having the Sky Marshall's son do a (very bad) salute. Too many loose ends are left open at the end of this, Dix's betrayal of Phid, Phid having faked messages from The Sky Marshall & concealed his disappearance, Rico's execution & court martial.
If you want to see someone ruin the entire Starship Troopers franchise without even trying the watch this excuse for a film. It's awful!
Reviews of Wrestling, Movies, TV and much more! Strong language has been censored by me for blog content
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
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