Reviews of Wrestling, Movies, TV and much more! Strong language has been censored by me for blog content

Friday, February 29, 2008

WWE Friday Night Smackdown. 29th Feb 08 reviewed

My Review of this weeks Smackdown. I haven't seen Smackdown in over 4 years so this'll be an interesting experience. I'm reviewing it completely open minded. Just like my TNA reviews, the usual caveats apply I'll call it how I see it. I may use colourful language or curse or swear. If it's s**t, I'll say so. I won't apologise for not knowing who certain people are that WWE may have hired in the last 4 years.

I'm in a truly unique position after my review of a recent RAW show, once I've seen this, as an impartial observer I'll be able to tell all you loyal WWE fans exactly what kind of condition the WWE is actually in at the moment and I'll be honest but brutal . So on with the review:-

Show opens with the Wrestlemania news conference. YAWN!

2 on 1 handicap match - The Big Show vs Joey Ryan & Jay Garland. Obviously these 2 guys were jobbers, Show taking the predictable win. Rating? 0

Jamie Noble vs Chuck Palumbo - An overly long match, pretty dull really. Palumbo took the predictable win. Rating? A generous 2.

MVP & Khali vs Batista & Kane - Batista & Kane haven't changed in 4+ yrs, I don't know either of the other 2 guysl. MVP looks like a cheap Booker T impression, Khali smells of Giant Gonzalez wannabe. Not a great match, Khali was very short on moves. Likewise MVP. Batista got the win. Rating? 2

The Miz & John Morrison vs Festus & Jesse - Nobody I know in this one. Festus got the win. Rating? An overly generous 1

Big Daddy V vs Balls Mahony - Daddy V I remember as both face & heel when he was part of MOM. Balls I haven't seen work outside of ECW to be honest. This was actually quite watchable until Undertakers music kicked in. Result? A No Contest. Rating? 3.

Taker then bores us on the mic.

Zack Ryder vs The Undertaker - Taker took the win, very boring match. Rating? An extremely generous 1.

Well this was certainly a short show, they managed to do video packages of just about every star they have.

Thoughts on the state of the WWE.

All the matches were utterly awful and had no entertainment value what so ever.
If this is the best Smackdown has to offer then it's truly died on it's a**e. Rating it against RAW? The Raw show was longer and had the exact same amount of matches that Smackdown fitted into 45 minutes, 4 matches and 1 aborted match with no finish.
If those 2 shows are typical of what WWE is currently offering as a product today then Vince needs to look into finding a new avenue to invest his money in because WWE appears to have quite literally stopped working. It hasn't progressed in 4 years. All the workers I recognised don't seemed to advanced as either characters or in actual amount of talent. None of the new guys impressed me in the slightest and thats really sad as WWE's future lies in developing its new talent.

Monday, February 18, 2008

WWE RAW 18th Feb 08 reviewed

Wow! Well having found a new newsgroup service through my ISP I found this show in the tv group so I'm watching it today and reviewing it like I would any other show. The same caveats apply as to my TNA reviews, the views expressed within are my own. I won't apologise for not knowing certain wrestlers as this is my 1st viewing of ANY WWE programming in over 3 years, almost 4 in fact. I call it how I see it, I may use colourful language & have been known to curse and swear so onto the review.

RAW 18th Feb 08 - The Show opens with HHH coming down to bore us on the mic, he's interupted by Randy Orton (looking more like a gay pornstar than ever!), Orton is interupted from his rant by John Cena (still using that s***ty rapper gimmick after more than 3 years?) & Cena's rant is interupted by William Regal (that's some serious hair you got there, Regal!).

Money In The Bank Qualifier match, Jeff Hardy vs Snitsky - Well I've certainly seen both of these 2 before and on the face of it, it's a complete mismatch with Snitsky's size. Snitsky was on top for most of this match which was to be expected, Hardy got the eventual win and still looks a decent enough worker!

HBK (why is JR referring to him as a "young man" ? He's one of WWE's oldest these days!) comes down to announce Ric Flairs induction into the HOF.

Paul Burchill vs Super Crazy - Burchill I've never seen before, Crazy I've seen in WCW and WWE as part of the LWO when Eddie was still alive. The match itself was short and nothing to write home about with Super Crazy jobbing to Burchill big time. Crazy is much better than this match by a long chalk.

Big Show getting his nose bust, Mayweathers 3rd punch (the left) was the killer blow. I don't care what he was saying, its just s**t from "Creative".

Money In The Bank Qualifier match, Mr. Kennedy vs Val Venis. Wow, Val's still working for WWE? No idea who Kennedy is, never seen him before. He certainly likes his technical wrestling as most of his match was on the mat and he got the eventual win. It looks like WWE make their established talent job to the FNG's on a regular basis these days then?

Steel Cage Match - Mr McMahon vs Hornswoggle. Wow, they are stooping low if this is classed as entertaining? The chairman versus a midget? This match never actually happened with the interference of Finlay & JBL. Since no bell ever rang to start this I class it as a No-Contest.

Maria and some a**ehole bloke come down to the ring to bore us on the mic, Maria agrees to pose for Playboy.

Maria vs Beth Phoenix - That Beth certainly does look very masculine doesn't she? S***ty match with Phoenix on top the whole way, Maria got the win though.

Non-Title Match (AKA Cena's Last Chance - John Cena vs Randy Orton with HHH as special guest ref. Well this was pretty much your average WWE match. overly long, no action at all, Cena getting the win in about 15 minutes. HHH pedigreeing Cena was to be expected, likewise the one on Orton.

Well for a show that lasted 1 hour and 30 minutes you got 5 matches (well 4 because Vince's match never actually happened), LOTS of talking & video inserts for Wrestlemania. An average WWE show and their style certainly hasn't changed in the 3 + years I've been away. It doesn't make me want to watch another show, thats for sure.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

My TNA Monthly Catch-up, Feb-Mar 08

Once again it's that time of the month where I review the previous months Impacts & PPV. I call the action how I see it, the only views expressed within are my own & I have been known to swear & curse - real people generally do. These are reviewed as I watch them so I say what I think, I don't copy & paste others material. If you don't like my views then don't read them. I answer all feedback on the catch-ups. I only talk about stuff I find entertaining or likely to forward the brand of TNA, if it's s**t I'll either say so or not even mention it.

Impact 14th Feb 08 - Jim Cornette opens the show with Samoa Joe's signing. Christian Cage interrupts it.

Brother Devon vs Curry Man (Announcer VERY nearly said Christopher Daniels) & Sharkboy. Bubba wasn't allowed to wrestle this because he couldn't make the weight limit imposed after the last ppv. A short pretty bad match, Devon took the win after Bubba hit Curryman with the scales.

Abyss vs Scott Steiner - a match that never started, Abyss came down to the ring then turned around, walked back up the ramp, took off his mask & walked back down the tunnel. Steiner challenged anyone in the back & Petey Williams took him on. Steiner got the win after his valet interfered.

Non-Title Tag Team Revenge Match, AJ Styles & Tomko vs Samoa Joe & Christian Cage. Cage got knocked out backstage so Joe's partner was Kevin Nash. Tomko got the pin after Kurt Angle interfered.

Rellik vs Eric Young - another classic TNA mismatch that seemed to be a win for EY before the bell ever rang. Rellik took the shock win.

3 Way Exhibition Contest, Jimmy Rave vs Chris Sabin vs Homicide. Man this was confusing enough to know who was wrestling who as they all bought their tag partners & valets with them. S***ty match with Homicide getting a win off interference (of course).

Rhino bores us on the mic.

Non-title Knockout Street Fight - ODB vs Awesome Kong. This one started before Kong even got in the ring with ODB taking it to her. This is the kind of match that ODB actually could win against Kong in. Another badly timed break (NEVER have a break during a match!). ODB sold some seriously hard bumps in this one. ODB's clothesline into Gail Kim was predictable as was Kong's win.

Some seriously AWFUL storyline S**T showing Russo at work. 3 matches ending in interference and this pile of W**K. F**k off Russo!

Impact 21st Feb 08 - Tag Team Title Match, Kip James & Bullet Bob Armstrong vs Tomko & AJ Styles. As BG was injured by Styles at the last PPV, Kip was taking his place here. Bullet Bob made a good start & AJ was selling for him big time. Tomko took the win after Kip hit Bob with BG's crutch & VKM are officially done as a tagteam.

Kaz vs Rellik - no idea why this was booked. Rellik isn't over & him jobbing to Kaz isn't going to help Kaz's push either. Kaz got a clean win but this didn't need the run-in by Black Reign at all.

3 Way X-Division contest to confirm the #1 contender. Sonjay Dutt vs Johnny Devine vs Petey Williams. Predictable win went to Williams in a weak match. Less said the better. Utter S**T. Storyline video b**ls**t followed by interview storyline b**ls**t.

Sharkboy & Curry Man (speaking fluent Japanese backstage!) vs Team 3d. Again 3d were weighed prematch & this week Ray was ok but Devon was too heavy so we got yet another handicap match. This was a repeat of last weeks match so Russo hasn't had any new ideas in 7 days, Ray got the win after Devon hit Sharkboy in the head with the scales.

Knockout Tagteam match - Ms. Jacqueline & Roxxi Laveaux vs ODB & Gail Kim. After last weeks problems this was bound to be another way to further a rift between Kim & ODB. ODB worked this match the best but it wasn't good & it was very predictable with Kim hitting ODB with a dropkick by accident. Roxxi took the win for her team. Kim & ODB fought their way from ring to backstage afterwards. THAT was a better fight!

Non-title match - Kurt Angle vs Booker T. Booker is pretty lucky getting this match. Even at just over 5 mins long this was TOO long. And S**T. Robert Roode interfered & Angle got the win. This was the 2nd week in a row where matches either had bad finishes or wins came off interference. If TNA keep going this way they'll put themselves out of business. WWE won't have to bother.

Impact 28th Feb 08 - Booker T comes out to bore us on the mic.

Tag Match, Petey Williams & Scott Steiner vs Sonjay Dutt & Black Machismo. Another weak match with Williams getting the win after Steiner hit Dutt with a briefcase. Russo's 1 man destruction of TNA continues unabated.

Tag Match - Team 3d vs Curry Man & Sharkboy. This match AGAIN? This is the 3rd time we've seen it. Devon fails to make weight. Ray also fails to make weight. 3d get dq'd for failing weight so Sharkboy & Curry Man win without ever doing anything. Russo rapes TNA again.

Tag Match - Sharkboy & Curry Man vs Rellik & Black Reign. Curry Man got the best of this match but Sharkboy got the win for his team.

Robert Roode comes down to bore us on the mic.

Ladder Match for the World Drinking Championship belt - James Storm vs Eric Young. AWFUL match. Storm won after Jackie got the belt down for him. Yet another nail in TNA's coffin it seems.

Non-Title Knockout Match - Angelina Love vs Awesome Kong. An awful mismatch, Kong is obviously going to win. I was expecting short & c**p. C**p yes, unfortunately not short enough. Kong got the predicted win.

Non-Title Match, Kevin Nash vs Kurt Angle. This match showed how long it's been since Nash worked a proper match. He couldn't sell & he looked awful, Angle struggled to carry him. This was another weak Russo inspired finish with Angle getting the win off a low blow. Possibly the WORST Impact show I've seen since I started watching 4 years ago.

Impact 6th Mar 08 - Street Fight, AJ Styles vs Kevin Nash - Nash got the win. Less said the better.

Destination X Over The Top Battle Royal - The Motor City Machine Guns vs The Rock & Rave Infection (wow, I finally used their team name!) vs Jay Lethal vs LAX vs Black Reign & Rellik vs Eric Young vs Team 3d. Those not introduced on camera are Sharkboy, Curry Man & Petey Williams. Team 3d fail to make weight yet again and are DQ'd before the match starts. Homicide is eliminated by Chris Sabin. Hernandez eliminated Alex Shelley. Hernandez eliminated Chris Sabin. Petey Williams eliminated Hernandez (with an outside assist from Scott Steiner). Petey Williams eliminated Eric Young (after a f**king HUGE assist from Steiner!). Curry Man & Sharkboy eliminated Lance Hoyt. Rellik eliminated Sharkboy. Jay Lethal eliminated Black Reign. Petey Williams eliminated Jay Lethal after a Canadian Destroyer. Curry Man eliminated Petey Williams. Curry Man eliminated Jimmy Rave. Curry Man eliminated Rellik winning the match & got to choose the stipulation for his Destination X match. Sharkboy calls the stipulation if 3d lose they leave TNA and that the match is a Fish Market Street Fight.

1st Blood Match, Tomko vs Samoa Joe - Tomko won. AWFUL match. Backstage b**ls**t.
Rhino vs Judas Mesias - Rhino won. C**P match.

Non-Title Knockouts Match - Salinas vs Awesome Kong. Having never wrestled ANYONE in TNA as yet, how the F**K did Salinas get this match? Even with LAX, Salinas was not going to win. Kong got the predicted win in this short & rubbish match.

6 Sides Of Steel Match - Christian Cage vs Kurt Angle. At best the most we could expect from this match was a quick win. Sadly with 20 mins left in the show that wasn't going to happen. Neither guy is brilliant in cages but Christian is the better worker here and carried the match to be honest. Cage got the eventual win.

Destination X 2008 PPV - 3 way Tag Match to decide the #1 contenders - LAX vs The Rock & Rave Infection vs The Motor City Machine Guns. This wasn't a great match but the Guns made it better by a great deal. They had both the best & took the worst of the match & it was a toss-up if it was going to be them or LAX (again?) to become contenders. The Guns were the best team by a country mile, made the best moves & took the best bumps. LAX took a win they truly didn't earn, work for or deserve.

X-Division Title Match - Petey Williams (with Steiner's valet Rhaka Khan) vs Jay (still running this s**t gimmick) Lethal. As Williams has someone in his corner whose already cheated a few wins for Steiner this one sounded like a foregone conclusion before it started. This match was even, well worked but ran way too long by a huge amount. It was actually clean until Steiners pointless interference & Val trying to point it out slowed the match down at exactly the WRONG time. Lethal got a well deserved win.

Tag Match, Black Reign & Rellik vs Kaz & Eric Young - Here's a match I wanted finished before it even started having seen the participants. Kaz made the best of this match but it was still F**KING AWFUL, the whole EY "Super Hero" thing was a bad idea. Young got the pin that he didn't deserve, Kaz should have got this win as it's him their pushing.

TNA Knockouts Womens Title 3 way Match - ODB vs Awesome Kong vs Gail Kim. The outcome of this was always going to be Kong winning & either ODB or Kim causing the other to get pinned. Obviously ODB & Kim were going to double-team Kong but you knew at some point either Kim was going to hit ODB or ODB was going to hit Kim for Kong to steal the win. When a match is this predictable its not worth watching. Kong took the win off ODB retaining the title after interference from her valet.

Fish Market Street Fight Tag Match - Team 3d vs Curry Man. After Cornette's announcement that if 3d make the weight it'd be the last time they have to but if they don't their sacked you knew 3d were going to make weight which they did. From the start Sharkboy & Curry Man had the best of this match and 3d sold like crazy for them both. This was looked like it was always going to be 3d's match as if they lost they were leaving TNA. This match certainly got Sharkboy & Curry Man over a great deal more than they already were (and that's quite a lot!) but it was just a matter of when 3d were going to get their pin. Sharkboy took the surprising pin off Devon & 3d don't have a job in TNA any more! What are the odds that stipulation is "forgotten" & Team 3d don't lose their jobs especially after the fight with the guys in the crowd?

A Stand By Your Man Strap Match, Booker T & Traci Brooks vs Robert Roode & Peyton Banks - Winner gets to strap their counterpart on the opposing team. Booker was probably always going to win this, especially as both Booker & Brooks had already taken a strapping last week on tv. Roode got shock the win after using handcuffs as improvised brass knucks. Banks got to lash Brooks 10 times. Sharmell came back.

Elevation X, Rhino vs James Storm - Neither guy is bodily suited to this match so why is was booked is beyond me. The fact that this started in the ring & stayed there a long time was a bad indicator of exactly how this match was going to go. Rhino got the win in this AWFUL match.

6 Man Tag Match, AJ Styles, Tomko & Kurt Angle vs Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe & Christian Cage. After reviewing the tapes of Angle's match last week it was decided not to overturn the decision of who got the advantage of 3 on 2 for the 1st 5 minutes. Angle came out after the 5 minutes elapsed & Joe was waiting for him at the bottom of the ramp. Joe took the eventual win in this pretty rubbish match. This has got to have been TNA's worst PPV to date, the women's match was way too predictable & the rest of the card was just scrappy. TNA are way better than this and I hope they remember that.