My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 7th Jan 2010 reviewed

Basically all TNA did was replay Mondays show. So all you are getting here is the same review I wrote for Monday.

Finally its the show everyones been talking about, the TNA debut of Hulk Hogan. We have a new announcer in the shape of Bubba The Love Sponge (who I have NEVER heard of) & as far as the alterations to the Impact Zone set go all I noticed different was the bleachers go higher up & the colour desk has been moved even further back parallel to the face entrance tunnel.

Non-title Steel Asylum Match, Chris Sabin vs Alex Shelley vs Homicide vs Kiyoshi vs Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed vs Suicide vs Amazing Red - This was looking like it'd be a really good match when Homicide went apes**t & started using an extendable baton on everyone so the refs ruled it a no contest, Not a very good way to kick off the 1st Impact of 2010. This result got a MASSIVE "bulls**t" chant from the crowd. I guess Russo just had to show everyone he's still in charge.

The appearance of Jeff Hardy was more than welcome & if he's back for good its great to see him back in TNA if he can stay off the junk this time. Hardy made a nice chair shot then nailed an excellent Twist Of Fate on Homicide on the ramp. We also saw Shannon Moore backstage as well, we all remember what happened with him in TNA last time don't we? No? He toured the UK with them then went back to the US & right back to WWE.

Knockout Title Match, ODB vs Tara - Again the announcer was made to emphasize the 20 minute time limit just to let everyone know Russo still has the reigns here, ODB jumped Tara as she took her top off but Tara held her off & nailed a lovely Running Clothesline. Tara made some nice Kicks & Punches until ODB caught her leg but Tara answered with an Enzuigiri then a Scoop Slam but only got a near fall off the Standing Moonsault, ODB was stretched out after Tara hit the Tarantula on the rope then made a nice Springboard Legdrop over the top rope for another near fall. You had to question what the f**k the guys in the camera truck were doing cutting to a shot of the cage when ODB made the Schoolboy Roll-up with a handfull off Taras trunks as an assist to take the win to recapture her title but this wasn't a bad match, just not long enough. Tara nailing a postmatch Widows Peak was kinda predictable.

Backstage shot of Nature Boy Ric Flair arriving in a white limo. WOO! Video package of Mick Foley being denied entry to the Impact Zone. Bobby & Kristal Lashley come out & call out Hogan asking for Lashleys release from TNA. Apparently Bobby can't speak for himself as Kristal had to make the speech for him, its the 2nd time she's done that by the way. C***py segment of The Beautiful People playing Strip Poker. Shots of Scott Hall & Sean Waltman being denied entry to the studios but they do eventually get inside.

Finally after 37 minutes of show Hulk Hogan comes out (to his classic NWO Hollywood music dressed all in black) but he completely blanked Hall & Waltman as he came down the ramp, Brooke Hogan was in the crowd too. Both Waltman & Hall jumped the guardrail but Hogan let them in the ring to talk. Hogan tells them no more gravy train (thank f**k!), Hogan talking about "doing the right thing for the business" is clearly selling out to marks though so he's clearly been reading the internet on our opinions of him. Kevin Nash comes out as also gets told no more old school gravy train for him either.

Waltman & Hall take off their jackets & start facing off to Hogan like their going to fight then Eric Bischoff comes out telling Nash, Hall & Waltman "everybody has to earn their position in this company" the constant shots of Dixie Carter in the crowd showed a very nervous looking face. Bischoff brought his own script with him, presumptious fucker. And it was nice to see Sting in the rafters after Hogan & Bischoff were done.

Knockout Tag Championship, Awesome Kong & Hamada vs Taylor Wilde & Sarita - Sarita & Hamada made a nice start to this but Wilde made a big no-no by making signals to Hamada off the top turn buckle to check she was ready to do a spot, I'm not sure who thought it was a good idea to semi-interupt this match to show that The Motor City Machine Guns had been jumped (I'm guessing by Hall, Waltman & Nash?) but the twin Suicide Dives by Wilde & Sarita onto Hamada & Kong on the floor might have been a little badly advised as Hamada had been limping & clutching at her upper thigh mere moments earlier.

Coming back from a badly timed break Hamada & Kong had taken the upper hand (and TNA REALLY need to stop doing that split screen on insanely tiny screens), Hamada was definately injured as she was limping again when she tagged Kong in, Wilde made a nice Jawbreaker on Kong tagging in Sarita to nail a beautiful Springboard Dropkick on Kong. Hamada practically begged Wilde to kick her out of the ring to get a moments respite leaving Kong to work the champions on her own with Kong powering out of Saritas Hurricanrana only to miss a nearfall on Sarita herself when Wilde made the save leaving the fans chanting "This is awesome" (something you certainly didn't hear over on RAW during their show!).

Wilde took a vicious posting from Hamada outside the ring who had to push Kong forward to reposition her (Ref Slick Johnson also had to feed Kong instructions to move into the correct position too) so Hamada could nail the Missile Dropkick off the top turnbuckle on Sarita which allowed Kong to make the pin so Hamada & Awesome Kong are new Knockout Tag Champions.

More of The Beautiful Peoples Strip Poker Game, former WWE star Val Venis joins them but he's not named though. It appears I have to make an apology & a correction, Big Rocco & Sally Boy are still working for TNA as we saw them denying Mick Foley entry to the studio closely followed by Knobbs & Saggs The Nasy Boys also being denied access.

Raven & Dr. Stevie (with Daffney) vs Hernandez & Matt Morgan - Extremely short & extremely s**t, Morgan took the win off The Carbon Footprint on Stevie & if this is the quality of matches Hogan & Bischoff are going to be offering us in the future then I see a massive exodus of people watching TNA to watching anything else including Knitting shows. This means Morgan & Hernandez will get a title shot on the next PPV.

Backstage interview with D'Angelo Dinero & Christy Hemme in what is her new full time job, they get interupted by Orlando Jordan but I needed Taz to tell me who the f**k he was because I sure didn't recognise the c**t.

Desmond Wolfe vs D'Angelo Dinero - Very poor match where both guys were equally as dull, Wolfe went for Towers Of London but Dinero powered out to take the win off a Small Package.

Backstage segment where we see Jeff Jarrett entering the building then they show that Rhino has also been attacked backstage. JB interviewing AJ Styles only to be interupted by Bischoff telling Styles his title is on the line for the main event tonight. Jeff Jarrett comes out to the ring to a rousing reception where he looked very emotional but Dixie Carter looked like she couldn't care less. Hogan goes heel against Jarrett (it was Russo that ran the company into the ground Hogan) getting himself a "bulls**t" chant from the crowd. Foley finally makes it into the Impact Zone.

Abyss vs Samoa Joe - Abyss was scheduled to meet Rhino but he obviously got beaten up backstage earlier so Hogan & Bischoff made this match on the fly. Joe started off well & just went like crazy nailing a kick to the head of Abyss out of nowhere, both guys had a very good match & it seems Joe is back to his best form now the "insane Joe" gimmick is done with. After nailing Abyss in the head with a chair Joe took the win off the Rear Naked Choke Hold.

Another backstage segment, Kristal Lashley talking to Bischoff then a shot of Beer Money who had also been attacked. Bubba The Love Sponge sneaks The Nasty Boys into the studios who then go on to destroy Team 3D's dressing room, its also sounds like Jeff Hardy & Shannon Moore now have TNA contracts.

TNA Heavyweight Title Match, Kurt Angle vs AJ Styles - I'm not sure why the announcer bothered telling us this had a 60 minute time limit as the show only had 21 minutes left on the air by that point anyway. This match had only been going for a few minutes before Russo decided it needed a run-in & sent out Styles' mystery attacker (who everyone knows is Tomko anyway) but Angle sent him out to the floor over the top rope with a clothesline and this match carried on as if nothing had happened. This match was far too slow & overly long for the sake of it, Angle had Styles in an Ankle Lock when Ric Flair came out to watch from the ramp (I'll assume Bischoff or Hogan thought that was a good idea but it totally ruined the flow of the match) & after a 4th or 5th Styles Clash AJ Styles took the win off the 450 Splash.

Angle made a very nice show of respect to Styles post match then Hogan came out seriously putting both Angle & Styles over big time. Backstage segment of Foley looking for Hogan only to find they've put Hogans name on Foleys old office & Bischoffs in Foleys old chair, show closes with Foley getting the shit beaten out of him by Nash, Hall & Waltman.

So it seems certain rumours were true (appearances by Flair, Hall & The Nasty Boys) whilst others were complete bulls**t (Appearances by RVD Or Sid Vicious & the return of Angelina Love).

It appears yes there was an Impact, all they did was replay Mondays show.