WWE Royal Rumble 2011 reviewed

Well I heard Kevin Nash & Booker T were coming back to WWE and I fancied a good laugh so I decided to see what kind of show the 'dub are capable of these days. Couple of useless facts first, its the 24th Rumble and there are 40 guys taking part instead of the usual 30. Caveat:- I haven't watched ANY WWE programming in forever so I have no idea who works where, whose friends and who isnt and I do like a swear here and there so expect langauge you might not like.

World Heavyweight Championship match, Edge vs Dolph Ziggler - Ah, the shitty old WCW title belt WWE seems to have a MASSIVE hard-on for. Dolph, 'roid much dude? I guess WWE must have been reading my old reviews as Ziggler has finally stopped wearing Psycho Sid's old jacket to the ring.

Anyway Edge can't use the Spear or he loses his title because Vicky says so. So what was with the colour desk not calling the Sharpshooter/Figure 4 Leglock? Did they not know what it was called, because none of them mentioned it? Edge won this match off a DQ on outside interference (As soon as Vicky pulled the ref the bell should have been rung there and then, Edge had already won) and pretty much ANYTHING that happened after that can be ignored but for some reason this ref didnt know his job and allowed this farce to continue.

After a crappy ref bump & Vicky out after being attacked by Kelly Kelly who ran out to stop her hitting Edge, Edge took the eventual win off Christians finisher The Unprettier or whatever WWE are calling it. Piss poor match, even worse finish for a belt WWE really need to stop competing over.

WWE Championship match, Randy Orton vs The Miz (with Alex Riley, whoever the fuck he is) - Frankly, I am surprised The Miz is holding any kind of title let alone WWE's main belt as he is the biggest waste of oxygen on the whole roster. He is basically a slightly more annoying version of Crash Holly with less talent & even less charisma. As expected Riley interfered every chance he got but after an amble down by The New Nexus, inteference from Alex Riley which earnt him flying lessons and the GTS from CM Punk on Orton Miz retained his title in yet another piss poor finish to another piss poor match.

Divas Championship 2 on 1 Handcap match, Layla & Michelle McCool vs Natalya - Never happened. Some email bullshit from someone not there and this became another match.

Divas Championship Fatal 4 Way, Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Natalya vs Eve - I have to question Layla's skill set as she wasn't even able to sell a simple clothesline from Natalya. Very weird finish with Eve taking the win to become new the Diva's Champion despite the fact Michelle McCool had Natalya pinned behind the refs back at the exact same time. Chalk that up to be the next match for Eve.

Backstage segment - Gail Kim, how have the mighty fallen? From TNA Knockout Champion to eye candy & valet brawling in a shitty backstage segment. Was that MASSIVE payment Vince gave you REALLY worth it?

Royal Rumble - Rule recap:- 2 men start, a new person enters every 90 seconds & you can only be eliminated by going over the top rope and both your feet touching the floor with the winner going on to a championship match at Wrestlemania. By clearly stating these were the only rules allowed a LOT of fucking bullshit to take place rendering the match a total waste of time.

In at #1 was CM Punk we had a TON of bullshit, more email bullshit then #2 was finally revealed to be Daniel Bryan. Not much action before #3 Justin Gabriel entered only to be eliminated by Bryan minutes later. # 4 was Zack Ryder STILL running Grand Master Sexay's gimmick? Anyway he was also gone moments later thanks to a hiptoss from Bryan. #5 was William Regal and boy is he FAT! #6 was Ted DiBiase Jr with John Morrison coming in at #7.

Morrison was flubbing from the word go, not only screwing up his ring entrance but pretty much every encounter he had in his opening 90 seconds, Regal went out thanks to DiBiase & Morrison was stuck holding on to the crowd barrier where he had to jump onto the ring steps to get back in. #8 was Yoshi Tatsu & #9 was Husky Harris (son of Mike Rotunda aka IRS) & #10 was Chavo Guerrero. Coming at #11 was Mark Henry (and I note colour are STILL pulling that "Worlds Strongest Man" bullshit? Dude, he won ONE Arnold Classic in 2002 & it wasn't even WSM affiliated so get the fuck over it?) who dumped out Chavo in seconds & Yoshi Tatsu shortly after that.

In at #12 was JTG (wasn't he the shit half of Cryme Tyme?) followed by #13 Michael McGillicutty (son of Curt Hennig aka Mr Perfect) who eliminated JTG pretty quickly & assisted Husky Harris to oust DiBiase shortly after that. Next in at #14 was Chris Masters, #15 was David Otunga, Bryan was eliminated by Punk seconds after his entrance closely followed by Masters also tossed by Punk. Morrison went next thanks to all of The New Nexus as did Henry mere moments later.

In at #16 was Tyler Reks who was thrown out by Punk seconds after his arrival, #17 was Vladimir Kozlov also slung out by Punk shortly after his entry. Unfortunate #18 was R-Truth (he got better already after that thing on the plane?) likewise tossed out by Punk, #19 was The Great Khali and from that second it was pretty sure business was about to pick up & Punks party was about to get pissed on. Harris went out next thanks to Khali and in at #20 was Mason Ryan who tossed Khali putting The New Nexus back on track.

Coming in at #21 was TNA reject Booker T who got a little bit of offence in doing the Axe Kick, a Bookend and a Spinaroonie before being slung out by Ryan. In at #22 was John Cena who put out Ryan easily closely followed by McGillicutty & Otanga together from a duel clothesline. #23 was Hornswoggle and Cena finally eliminated Punk, #24 was Tyson Kidd who took the dive curtesy of Cena.

#25 was Heath Slater, I'm not sure why the camera truck decided not to show the Tadpole Splash 1st time but Slater took his flying lesson next thanks to Cena. #26 was Kofi Kingston. #27 was Jack Swagger still looking like Owen Harts love child, #28 was Sheamus the ginger ball gobbler & licker of HHH's arse who eliminated Hornswoggle who seriously looked like he didnt want to take that bump. In at #29 was Rey Mysterio Junior who eventually eliminated Swagger, #30 was Wade Barrett in what would normally be last man position in a normal Rumble but this year we have another ten guys left to enter.

#31 was Dolph Ziggler (in his 2nd match of the night too!) and from here on in its all uncharted territory (I'd like to say for the record I typed that before the colour guy said it). #32 was TNA reject Kevin Nash running his old Diesel gimmick so that explains why he had dyed his hair & beard brown, #33 was Drew McIntyre - yet another of HHH's bootlickers. #34 was Alex Riley as Barrett eliminated Diesel & Nash got to take a nice little pile of money home for doing pretty much fuck all.

#35 was The Big Show who tossed Ziggler, Cena & Kingston eliminated Riley in the background as this was happening but they were that busy talking to The Miz no-one called it - likewise no-one called the elimination of McIntyre by Big Show (which is INSANE considering it happened right in front of the fucking colour desk!) as the entry of #36 Ezekiel Jackson was completely ignored but he eliminated Big Show by himself. What was hysterical was The Miz was bigging up Alex Riley and no-one had even noticed he'd already been eliminated, way to pay attention colour desk!

#37 was Santino Marella (possibly one of the worst workers in WWE ever in my opinion with a god awful gimmick) who was sent out under the bottom rope, #38 was Alberto Del Rio who we spent about 57 years watching on his over rated stupidly expensive entrance. At this point I'd like to point out to the guys in the WWE camera truck that the action is in the ring, NOT THE FUCKING ENTRY RAMP!

#39 was Randy Orton (meaning technically Del Rio should be eliminated as you have to actually enter the ring in the 90 seconds otherwise you get DQ'd, it also means Santino should also be DQ'd for being out of the ring for too long) and he eliminated Kingston (Santino was still lying by the ring at this point having been out of the ring almost 3 minutes so he should have been well and truly DQ'd by this point), closely followed by Sheamus.

Lucky #40 was Kane who sent out Jackson, Kane was eliminated next by Mysterio, Barrett eliminated Mysterio seconds later. Cena was ejected illegally, Alex Riley lured him to the apron and The Miz threw him out. As Riley had already been eliminated and Miz wasn't even in the match there is no possible way in hell even with kayfabe that this elimination could count, all those referee's and not one of them saw it? For some reason the refs let the elimination stand.

Orton put out Barrett and Del Rio took advantage putting out Orton as his back was turned & Del Rio was declared winner until it was pointed out Santino had never been eliminated despite having been outside the ring for almost 12 minutes (having checked Santino was outside the ring exactly 11 minutes & 59 seconds) but Del Rio tossed Santino and was finally declared the winner.

After the farce that was this years Royal Rumble it is WAY past time all the loopholes in the rules were removed. In the late 80's a rule was introduced that if you had not entered by the time the next participant after you entered it was an automatic DQ. I think it was an event where The Macho Man did not take his place and got DQ'd for it.

Clearly this rule is now gone as Del Rio would have been out under it. No participant should be allowed to remain outside the ring (if they left under the ropes) for longer than a 10 count which should also result in a DQ. No participant should be able to be eliminated by either someone already eliminated or a non participant, this would still have left Cena in the Rumble.

An event like this does nothing for the prestige that used to be The Royal Rumble.Also FAR too much time was spent by the colour desk sucking The Miz's cock to the point that several eliminations were missed due to it.
Apparently WWE need to hire new directors as the ones employed for this particular PPV were epically failing to use the right camera's to catch eliminations instead chosing to watch either the entrance ramp or the colour desk.

This shambles of a PPV wont be any kind of incentive to watch another WWE PPV any time in the near future.