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Monday, November 17, 2008

Hulk Hogans Celebrity championship Wrestling mini review show 5

Bischoff tells the celebs that they are no longer 2 sets of teams but are now all competing against each other individually and that the next match will be a Battle Royal but not with standard rules because as well as being able to eliminate someone by sending them over the top rope they can also eliminate them by using a finishing move.

This weeks 3 new moves to learn are Over The Top (safely going over the top rope to the floor), Duck & Boost (the crouching shoulder lift over the ropes). The celebs are told they will learn the 3rd move later. Todd Bridges hurts his gonads on his 1st attempt at the Over The Ropes and Butterbean fails several times before needing a boost over from Brutus Beefcake. Brian Knobbs then gets them doing the Duck & Boost. When learning a combination eye rake and throw over the top ropes Dennis Rodman manages to injure Sammy, one of the jobbers who were helping to train the celebs (it actually turns out he broke his wrist!). Dustin Diamond leaves to get checked out by the medic as he's complaining of a shoulder problem.

Danny Bonneduche finally arrives to practice as Brutus Beefcake is practicing elbowdrops on Todd Bridges who is curled up in the top ropes in a corner and starts practicing the moves as Hulk Hogan arrives with RVD who comes to teach them about finishing or signature moves. RVD shows the celebs his 5 Star Frogsplash using Brian Knobbs as his partner, Bonneduche looks amazed and stunned and RVD explains the oversell of the move.

RVD asks to see what the celebs have done so far and Bonneduche (who had only been practicing for 45 minutes) steps up to go Over The Top and totally f**ks up the landing (they say he caught the apron, personally I think he totally missed it and took the full impact on his toes and jarred his spine), the medic calls for an ambulance and Bonneduche is taken away on a stretcher wearing a neck collar to be checked by the EMT's in hospital.

Rodman uses the midrope clothesline that he's been doing since day 1 (I assume he learnt that in his WCW days?) as his finishing move and RVD likes it. Butterbean uses the bellyslam as his finisher. Trishelle hasn't got anything so RVD teaches her a nice bridging submission move. Todd Bridges shows the somersault flip into a corner splash he's also been using since the 1st week but RVD doesn't think theres enough of it and suggests adding a sunset flip (actually it would have been easier and better looking if they'd done either a monkeyflip style Irish Whip or schoolboy roll-up out of the corner as both were more logical moves and they already knew the schoolboy anyway). Dustin Diamond decides to use the DDT as his finisher. As Brian Knobbs gives an end of day talk to the celebs we get to see Sammy stood in the ring wearing a plastercast and sling on his broken wrist.

With 4 hours until the match everyone goes to practice with Knobbs telling them they have no idea if Bonneduche is going to show or not but either way the match will go on. Everyone works everyone else with plenty of preset moves thought out and practiced ahead of time, in the locker room before the match Knobbs gives everyone a pep talk and tells them that they are now all members of Team Hogan.

The Match. 5 Person Battle Royal.
As we already know this is a Battle Royal, it was going to be 6 people but Bonneduche cried off with his injury which was no-one's fault but his own. The Winner & Mr No-So Perfect kick this one off, after some showboating to the crowd for cheap heat by both of them Winner hits Perfect with a nicely sold kick to the midsection and an eyerake. Perfect worked the ropes and ran into Winner's back elbow as Winner then stomped Perfect in the gut as he lay on the canvas. Winner strutted into a good elbowdrop on Perfect who was taken over the ropes but managed to reverse himself back in and didn't look too bad doing it either.

Perfect hit Winner with a midsection kick of his own (Diamond really can sell them well!) and then took Winner over to smack him into the top turnbuckle several times. Perfect nailed Winner with a nice forearm to the chest and then hit the overhead somersault into a forearm smash although the forearm smash looked scrappy as Perfect clearly didn't spot his landing very well. Next into the match was The Red Hot Redneck who teamed up with Mr Not-So Perfect against The Winner, they worked him over for a short while before the next entrant who was Rodzilla (unashamedly billing him from "Parts Unknown") who made the save on Winner from the doubleteam beatdown of Perfect & Redneck.

Everybody was beating everyone else down but it turned into a Team Beefcake vs Team Nasty face off until we got the next entrant in the shape of One Mean Bean. Bean came in splashing Winner into Perfect and Rodzilla into the Redneck. Bean sent Perfect to the ropes but he managed to roll back in under the bottom rope, Rodzilla then got Bean's attention after a slap to the back of the head. The 2 biggest men faced each other down and Rodzilla went for the eyerake and Bean sold it well, also really selling a hard looking kick to the midsection. Everyone else came in joining Rodzilla hitting Bean with forearm smashes aplenty, everyone then piled on top in an attempt to pin him (so yet another variation to standard Battle Royal rules then?) but Bean used his sheer mass and strength to kick out.

Eventually with everyone working together One Mean Bean was first to be sent over the top rope and eliminated. Rodzilla duked it out with the Redneck & The Winner was fighting with Perfect in opposite corners. Winner tried to establish a team with Rodzilla only to be sent into the ropes for a clothesline, the Redneck hit Rodzilla with a nice double axehandle to the head then a series of midsection kicks. Perfect hit a well measured sunset flip on The Winner to eliminate him using the finishing move option, as Winner was hitting Rodzilla its hard to telll if Rodzilla actually injured Redneck for real (As when Bridges hit Rodman his head whiplashed back and caught Trishelle in the face), the ref did go and check on her.

This may have been part of the gimmick as Perfect was trying to send Rodzilla over the top when he used his strength putting Perfect over the top rope to the apron. Perfect grabbed Rodzilla's arm, the Redneck grabbed Rodzilla by the leg sending him over and Rodzilla took Mr Not So Perfect with him leaving The Red Hot Redneck as this weeks match winner.

I think Bischoff's comments about Dustin Diamond having plateaued out were unfair, he pulls his weight and works pretty hard. Danny Bonneduche is eliminated from this weeks show, its not undeserved as he wasn't giving the show his full attention what with still doing his radio show and missing half the training. As good a performer as he was he just wasn't willing to listen or do moves the way he was taught.

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