Tonights "800th" show kicks off with infamous gym bag shitter Randy Orton looking more like a gay pornstar than ever coming out to yack on the mic. He gets booed to f**k.
The Hardys vs MVP & The Brian Kendrick. Is it me or has Matt Hardy become Fat Hardy because he looks really chunky & out of shape. Although I must admit to enjoying his bulldog & clothesline combo on the opposing team, Jeff made a lovely Swanton to allow Matt to make the cover. Not a bad match to kick things off.
Was WWE struggling to fill their "3 hour Raw" (that actually only lasted 2 hours 16 minutes and 6 seconds so thats more than 43 minutes of adverts) with actual matches and having to resort to being a clip show however it was weird to see Sean Mooney again, whatever happened to him? Mind you they did prove how much of an old fart HBK is as he was on the 1st Raw in 1993 and their still pushing him now proving you CAN flog a dead horse. More clips this time from show#17 showing Scott Hall vs Sean Waltman.
8 Man Battle Royal (winner gets a shot at the IC Title) - As WWE were far too busy showing clips of their glory days no-one got introduced on screen. Jamie Noble, JTG & Shad Gaspard of Cryme Tyme, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Ted DiBiase Jr & Manu (whoever the fuck he is). Santino Marella came out to the colour desk to watch who his challenger would be. Snitsky was 1st to go very closely followed by Cody Rhodes & Manu. Jamie Noble went moments later fairly closely followed by JTG. Gaspard went not long after and Regal took the win by throwing out DiBiase Jr.
Shots of Shane & Steph arriving and yet more clips, this time from show#401 where Shane announces he owns WCW. Randy Orton continues to bleat in the ring, WWE fans show how stupid they are by consistently shouting "What" (which wasn't even over when SCSA used to do it) during Mike Adamle's announcement of his resignation. Yet another clip (show#778) with the Presidential candidates.
Vladimir Koslov vs Charlie Haas schilling himself in some cheapass imitation of Brett Hart. As per usual this was a F**KING AWFUL match with Haas jobbing to Kozlov in under a minute. It's about time Kozlov quit as he's not over and never will be, WWE have no clue about this guy and making more talented people job to him is just sad and pathetic.
Yet even more clips (show#257) with DX invading a WCW show.
HHH & HBK (trying and failing to revive DX but frankly Trips just looked ashamed to be there but fair play to him for shooting on Charlie Haas) vs The Miz & John Morrison. After a very badly timed -break we're into the action (so they spend almost 10 minutes hyping the match as we don't even get to see the f**king start of it?). Highlights of this were HBK making a nice sell of a clothesline from Miz (who appeared on this weeks Ghost Hunters Live halloween show) & the ref fucking up by tapping Miz on the shoulder to tell him to kick out after HBK's back slide. Despite HBK pretty much owning this match they still put Trips in to take the win off the pedigree on Miz.
Yet more clips (show#243) with Mike Tyson.
16 Diva Tag Match - Yet again they were too f**king busy schilling old clips to bother introducing half of the competitors. Mickie James, Candice Michelle, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly & Mae Young vs Beth Phoenix, Leila, Katy Lee, Gillian Hall, Marise, Natalya, Lena & Victoria. Beth Phoenix took the win with a schoolboy on Mae Young.
Again due to a lack of matches WWE show us something from last week with Undertaker vs Chavo. More clips (show#456) NWO Hogan. Yawn.
CM Punk vs Randy Orton in a match made by Shane O'Mac earlier. Is it me or does Punk look like Colin Farrel? Well this match was utter s**t and going nowhere fast then had an awful ending with the run-in from DiBiase Jr. I assume it was thrown out as a DQ on Orton for outside interference giving Punk the win.
More clips (show#772) Big Show throws Floyd Mayweather over the top rope. Even MORE clips (show#475) Taker becomes undisputed champion.
JBL vs The Undertaker. Undertaker wins from a count-out. What a shit match with an even worse finish.
Yet more clips (show#304) Stone Colds beer truck.
Kung Fu Naki, Hornswoggle & The Boogeyman "dance". They are joined by Goldust, Jesse & Festus, Sgt Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes & Hacksaw Jim Duggan. As if we didn't need any more proof there isn't enough talent to fill "3 hours" after all the clips they did this as well. No wonder Vince insists you don't use the word Wrestling any more, there's practically none going on.
More clips (show#775) Flair retires. Yet more clips (show#630) Kane ruins Edge & Lita's "wedding".
Kane & Mark Henry vs Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston. It's nice to see Kingston has some gold at last. When did that happen then? On paper this looked to be a complete mismatch and it pretty much was. Kingston was the best worker by far but Henry took the eventual win. The post match stuff from Khali was pretty pointless too.
Another clip (show#761) Tribute to the troops.
World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match - Chris Jericho vs Batista. Once the introductions were over and done the show only had 13 minutes left to run so this wasn't going to be much of a match. Not a great start and a really badly taken break brought us back to the action with Batista in The Walls Of Jericho. Jericho manages to f**k up the finish by not falling straight through the ropes as though the match hadn't been bad enough already. The match is dragged back into the centre of the ring (mainly due to them still having 8 minutes of airtime to fill). Batista could have won the match with 4 minutes to spare by just stepping out of the cage but instead chose to climb back in. Stupidly Batista managed to crotch himself but Jericho took the win and the title after climbing out of the cage for the umpteenth time.
Over the course of this "3 hour" show we got 9 matches in total which probably would have only just filled a 1 hour show on a good day.
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