Feast Or Fired - Cute Kip vs Sonjay Dutt vs Jimmy Rave vs Lance Rock vs Alex Shelley vs BG James vs Jay Lethal vs Chris Sabin vs Consequences Creed vs Curry Man vs Hernandez vs Homicide vs Shark Boy. None of the competitors got any introduction graphics and although the arena announcer was introducing each person you were unable to hear him due to them stupidly allowing West & Tenay to talk over him so anyone who had decided to watch TNA for the 1st time ever today would have had no clue who any of these people were. Apparently Petey Williams (who was on the card to be in this match) didn't get medical clearance so didn't appear, no doubt their still repackaging his comeback appearance and it clearly wasn't ready yet.
Despite having proved so incredibly unpopular with TNA fans & viewers last year TNA still decided to have this match regardless of opinions. Its the same concept as last year, a 4 briefcases on poles match where you can win either an X Division title shot, a Tag title shot, a Heavyweight title shot or you get fired. I'd already predicted a few weeks ago that Curry Man was the most likely candidate to get fired so they could drop his gimmick and bring back Christopher Daniels (who if you've been living under a rock for the last year or so is the man under the Curry Man mask).
West & Tenay did a pretty bad job of trying to cover for Lance Rock doing nothing sitting on the top turnbuckle (he could have easily grabbed the case, instead he waited for Curry Man to come over to start working him), Shark Boy made a nice Chummer on Dutt and the crowd were obviously well informed with their "Fallen Angel" chant as both Curry Man & Shark Boy climbed up to get cases 1 and 2 only for BG James to stop them. Jimmy Rave clearly wasn't too happy about being put into a Border Toss over the ropes to the floor by Hernandez (it looked sloppy on both mens parts), this allowed Hernandez to release case 4 and leave the ring with it (although why he didn't just jump off the top rope to the floor instead of jumping into the ring then stepping out to the floor is beyond me, he totally no-sold the urgency of the match there). Cute Kip really no-sold Shark Boy's Chummer (and you think a veteran like him would know how to sell a Stunner by now?) and Creed made him look even worse by showing exactly how to sell one moments later. Homicide & Curry Man duked it out over case 3 before Curry Man released it and then somersaulted off the top rope into Lance Rock & BG James so Curry Man won case 3.
The mini brawl between Lethal & Dutt was nice but Lethal hit a lovely full nelson suplex which Dutt sold very well indeed, Homicide hit Lethal with a wicked Gringo Cutter off the top rope only for Dutt to cut him off with the worlds lightest looking headbutts (these weren't the 1st light headbutts on Homicide, Curry Man had gone light on him earlier in the match so I assume the other wrestlers had been told to be careful with him as this was his 1st match back from the bad injury where he'd hit the guard rail then faceplanted into the floor at the Turning Point PPV last month. Homicide stood on Dutt's back which allowed him to unhook case 1 then slid down the pole to the floor leaving only case 2 left up for grabs.
Kip & BG's exit out of the ring was very sloppy (from guys like them I expect a lot smoother exit) and I think Dutt hurt his left knee as he was grabbing it after his cross body block onto them. I have no clue what move Shelley pulled on Rave with the assist from Sabin but it looked stunning and allowed Sabin to hit Lethal with a wicked missile dropkick off Shelley's shoulders. Shark Boy & Creed worked together to try and stop Shelley & Sabin getting the final case but Sabin DDT'd Creed as he kicked Shark Boy over. Shelley released the case but Lethal stole it and jumped to the floor winning case 2 to end the match. Jeremy Borash offers the winners the chance to walk away and forfeit their case (avoiding the chance to get fired) but no-one took the offer up, a random number was picked and case 2 belonging to Jay Lethal was opened to reveal a Tag Team title shot (which will be interesting seeing as he hasn't even currently GOT a tag partner).
My predictions for the other cases are Homicide will get the X Division title shot, Hernandez will get the Heavyweight title shot (as it's already been mooted that LAX were going to break up and this would be the perfect way to do it) and Curry Man will get fired and reveal himself to be The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels. Jay Lethal high fived Consequences Creed (so it appears he already may have a tag partner) and for some reason (no clue why) the crowd were chanting bulls**t and Borash was shooting on Shelley big time. The contents of the other 3 cases will be revealed on the next Impact on Thursday.
6 Woman Tag Team Match - Sharmell & The Beautiful People vs Roxxi, ODB & Taylor Wilde. I wish Roxxi would change those checked trousers she's recently started wearing as they really make my eyes hurt and give me a wicked headache. This is is Sharmell's 2nd match for TNA (I had to go research on Wiki, she'd been in a mixed tag match with Booker against Robert Roode & Ms Brooks. Roxxi & Wilde mainly worked most of this match against Love & Sky, Sharmell only ever entered the ring twice and neither time for very long. After ODB chased Sharmell out of the ring and into the heels entrance tunnel Taylor Wilde reversed the roll of a flying cross body block off Angelina Love to get the win for their team. This was a very scrappy match - Wilde, Roxxi & ODB are all much better workers than this and the same applies to The Beautiful People, no-one really worked anywhere close to the best of their ability here.
X Division Championship - Eric Young vs Sheik Abdul Bashir. With Shane Sewell donning the referees shirt yet again we had to hope this wouldn't be yet another gimmick finish. Young had a good match, his fall over the top rope into the guard rail looked pretty hard and it was well sold by Young. Bashir was doing mainly mat based stuff, slowing down the match at all the wrong times really. Sewell was calling this down the middle until Bashir shoved him, Young went for a sunset flip but Bashir had a hold on the top rope until Sewell interfered and kicked Bashir's hands away allowing Young to get the roll-up for the win to become the new X Division Champion.
Bashir went straight for the beatdown and Sewell pulled him away and got himself a slap in the face before finally unloading on Bashir with chops and a back body drop, Bashir nailed Sewell in the head with the tile belt before sending Young over the top rope. Sewell had done a blade job on himself (I kind of guessed this was going to happen when I noticed Sewell's wrists were taped during the match) while the camera was on Young and Bashir choked Sewell with his shamag (Not a turban West & Tenay, get your terminology right!), no doubt this was Sewell's last appearance as a referee as this was his final strike for hitting wrestlers and we're sure to see him as a wrestler fairly soon. Cornette came out to relieve Bashir of the title and Sewell was helped out of the ring by Security. West & Tenay said something will be done about the title on Thursdays Impact.
TNA Knockouts Championship - Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed & Rhaka Khan) vs Christy Hemme. Normally if Saeed & Khan come out with Kong there's normally going to be intereference and this did eventually prove to be the case, Hemme had a fairly decent start and things were even with Hemme using her speed and hit a wicked flying cross body block onto Kong to the floor but Kong soon powered back. Hemme has been training with AJ Styles for the last 3 months and you can see his influence in her ring work. Kong had Hemme up in some sort of modified torture rack/back breaker move and Hemme was either selling for all she was worth or it really was hurting her, Hemme defended herself against the ropes with a few good kicks then hit Kong with an excellent top rope rolling DDT that Kong sold really well indeed.
Hemme hit the FFG and went for the pin only for Saeed to pull her away to break the count so as predicted the interference did happen. Hemme fought with both Saeed & Khan outside the ring and you seriously had to question ref Andrew Thomas for not calling for the bell as soon as he saw Saeed enter the ring but he did eventually call it and I assume Hemme was given the win off a DQ by outside interference but the title didn't change hands due to the DQ. Hemme dropped Saeed and Khan distracted Hemme to allow Kong to jump Hemme, Kong pushed the ref onto the floor and even with Security Kong and Hemme carried on fighting each other. I was amazed Cornette didn't come out to make a call on this one and the crowd was chanting "Let Them Fight!" so I expect to see a rematch either on the next Impact or next PPV.
Tag Championship - Matt Morgan & Abyss vs Beer Money. Abyss started by chasing James Storm in revenge for being jumped after Beer Money got him drunk last week on Impact. Abyss chased Storm out of the arena with Roode following them, Abyss reversed them both back to ringside where Morgan launched himself onto Beer Money from the top rope. Beer Money bailed out up the ramp and the bell was finally rung, Ref Rudy Charles had said if Beer Money didn't get into the ring before a 10 count they would have forfeit the titles but they made it back just in time. Neither Storm nor Roode wanted to square off with Abyss who was understandably PO'd after having 2 bottles smashed over his head on the last Impact.
Once Morgan came in Beer Money finally started fighting but Storm wouldn't tag back in and stayed away from the apron every time Roode tried to tag Storm in with Abyss. The crowd were chanting "Beer Money Sucks!" and Jaqueline interefered holding Morgan allowing Beer Money to get the upper hand, having already worked on Morgans knee Roode took out Morgans leg and Morgan made really awful sell on it. Abyss finally got tagged in and unloaded on Roode then Storm who he chokeslammed before putting Storm up into the Shock Treament backbreaker with Roode breaking the count on 2. Storm was thrown a bottle by Jaqueline which Abyss stopped, Jaqueline blocked Abyss hitting Storm who put on brass knucks and hit Abyss (I have NO clue what the cameras were looking at on the ramp when they cut away - edit:- it was Storm throwing the knucks away) and Beer Money made the pin to retain the title. This was a pretty awful match and I wouldn't have even given it away for free on Impact. Beer Money are awful champions as neither of them are very good workers and their even worse as a tagteam. If TNA is seriously looking to fire anyone to save money then Roode & Storm should seriously be at the top of the list. They may be over like crazy as heels but they can't wrestle for s**t.
The Motor City Machineguns come out to the ring expecting Mick Foley to overturn the Feast Or Fired Result and instead Jim Cornette says he's off to get the biggest Security Guys to get them out of the ring (I was half expecting him to return with Ron & Don Harris), and Suicide (Frankie "Kaz" Kazarian) deathslides into the ring finally making the characters debut after all the months of video packages and takes out both Shelley & Sabin who seriously sell for him in a big way.
Rhino vs Kurt Angle - With Mick Foley as special enforcer, the stipulations are as follows:- If Angle loses he leaves TNA, If Angle wins he gets a match wih Jeff Jarrett. Despite being the special enforcer it didn't actually mean Foley was the referee, instead he was there to make sure other members of The Main Event Mafia from interfering in this match. Rather unsurprisingly this was all power and mat work as neither guy is fast or a high flyer. Angle can throw well but good throws don't make for a good match, generally this was deathly boring and the only real point of interest was who if anyone was the person Angle said would deal with Mick Foley. Rhino accidently took out the ref and Angle grabbed a chair allowing Rhino to hit Angle with a nice schoolboy, Rhino made a nice superplex and then Al Snow came down the ramp distracting Foley and slapping his face. Angle beaned Rhino with the chair as Foley was distracted out of the ring then hitting the Angle slam and Foley made the 3 count earning Kurt Angle his match against Jeff Jarrett and I have to wonder if Al Snow's appearance here tonight was a 1 off or not.
World Heavywight Championship - Booker T, Kevin Nash, Sting & Scott Steiner vs AJ Styles, Samoa Joe & Team 3D. If The TNA Frontline Faction win here AJ Styles gets the title. Styles & Booker kicked off the final match of the night and Booker looked like a drunk Giraffe with his sloppy knee lifts (he even makes Dennis Rodman look good!), Styles connected a few good punches then Brother Ray was tagged in and Steiner came in for the MEM. Ray was channeling Dusty Rhodes before hitting a variant of the Rock Bottom then tagged Joe in who just owned Steiner prior to an eyerake then Sting came in. Joe connected with chops and kicks and Sting sold them all coming back with an eyerake and and scoopslam before bringing in Nash. Devon worked the MEM well before Sting distracted him and Nash connected with the big boot to a sideslam. I'm not sure if Devon was hurt or winded as you very clearly heard him say "Oh, s**t" when Steiner kicked Devon in the side. Joe came in and was eventually selling for the MEM but not even Joe can sell Bookers god awful knee lifts which get worse the more he does them, Joe sold a nice overhead suplex off Steiner but this match was starting to feel overly long and boring.
Styles was tagged in to work the last 5 minutes against the whole MEM with Nash guiding him in ring and Brother Ray shouting moves from the apron (you could very clearly hear him shout "Pele" seconds before AJ did the move to Nash, everyone got in the ring and chaos ensued with Joe & Sting as the legal men and everyone hitting their signature moves but Nash stopped Joe hitting the Muscle Buster with a low blow allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop to take the win for The Main Event Mafia. Joe & AJ probably had the best match of everyone here, I have no idea why Booker was waving his belt around after the match as its not like it was on the line or anything. Sting left the ring alone with the rest of the Mafia celebrating but looking very confused.
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