After a quick catch-up about the Against All Odds PPV the show opens with miracle of miracles an ACTUAL MATCH!
Tag Match - Kurt Angle & Sting vs Team 3D. This pretty much the rubber match from the PPV main event. Angle had a couple of stitches above his eye where he'd cut his eyebrow open after bumping heads with Sting in the PPV so I wondered if they were going to use that injury or not. Angle & Brother Ray kicked this off and Sting offered to tag in a few times with Angle just blanking him with Angle only tagging out after recieving the Wassup from Team 3D.
Sting & Angle had a set to at ringside which took Booker T & Steiner to break it up, after a badly timed commercial break we returned with Sting having the upper hand on Ray in the ring and the rest of the MEM at ringside. Sting tried to tag Angle who just jumped off the apron and Steiner had to get him back not just once but a 2nd and 3rd time.
We had an almost ref bump (I'm not sure if Slick Johnson was no selling or hadn't been warned they were going to do it so decided not to go with it) and Devon made the worlds worst kneelift on Sting which he didn't exactly go out of his way to try and sell. Not long after Devon hit the worlds lightest clothesline (camera position didn't exactly help on the sell there either), Angle sidestepped a 4th tag only for Sting to tag and bring him in the hard way, combined with a shove from Sting this allowed Devon to take the win off an easy Schoolboy rollup in 7:06. Steiner & Nash had to drag Sting & Angle apart and Angle vented his spleen on the mic which brings out Jeff Jarrett to cool his jets.
A whole truckload of time was wasted talking and in interviews & backstage segments.
No DQ Head dress on a pole match - Scott Steiner vs Petey Williams. It seems like Russo still has his filthy fingers well and truly clenched around the neck of TNA Creative then? Basically the rules are whoever takes the head dress off the pole gets to continue using it in their image and that there must be a winner. Clearly the head dress on the pole was Peteys as he was the one who came to the ring not wearing one, the match kicked off with Williams trying to jump Steiner. As a no DQ match I was pretty surprised at the total lack of involvement from other MEM members, Williams did a great job of selling as he always does and it never ceases to amaze me at how willing he is to put Steiner over on a regular basis.
Steiner hit the Frankensteiner and Williams went with it and did an excellent sell but not before getting up and hitting a nice running Power Bomb on Steiner who also sold that well. Referee Rudy Charles seemed to be the only person in the ring unaware of the no DQ stipulation (I have to assume he's deaf, stupid or pig ignorant as it was clearly announced) waving Steiner down as he grabbed the lead pipe. Williams sold a nice slam off the top turnbuckle allowing Steiner to retrieve the head dress for the win in 6:17, not a great match really.
TNA Knockout Gauntlet Match - The winner of this earns themselves a title shot, 2 people start off and every minute someone else will come into the ring, Battle Royal rules apply so you can only be eliminated by going over the top rope and touching the floor. Angelina Love (with Cute Kip) vs Taylor Wilde were the initial pairing to kick this thing off. Love took it straight to Wilde not even allowing her to stand up from the bell and it was just a slugfest, nothing pretty or technical about it. Next in was Velvet Sky which left Wilde to fight off the doubleteam for the next minute but there was no help coming as next down was Sojourner Bolt. Bolt took down both Love & Sky allowing Wilde to duke it out with Bolt and next down was Roxxi.
Roxxi did put Velvet Sky over the top rope and off the apron only for Cute Kip to catch her and put her back in the ring without her feet ever having touched the floor so it was interesting to see TNA explore that loophole in the rules (has any other wrestling fed ever done that before ?). Next in was Madison Rayne whose last appearance was jobbing to Kong on Impact 8th Jan 08, Rayne clearly isn't aligning with anyone as she was happily knocking the stuffing out of anyone and everyone that came within swinging distance of her fists. Next in was Raisha Saeed as West & Tenay commented on the fact that no-one had been eliminated yet.
Cute Kip made yet another save (this time catching Angelina Love after Roxxi had sent her over the top rope) and next in was Rhaka Khan. Her "nice kick to Roxxi" looked bloody awful and Roxxi did a good job in selling what little there was of the contact. ODB was last in who started off by taking out The Kongtourage then The Beautiful People (although Loves sell on her clothesline was quite frankly pathetic and wouldnt have sold if it was marked at 75% off) before ODB finally eliminated Rhaka Khan & then Raisha Saeed mere moments later.
Cute Kip made the save on Angelina Love for the 2nd time but Taylor Wilde eliminated both Angelina Love and herself at the same time as Kip was celebrating away from the ring. Roxxi finally eliminated Velvet Sky and I was really digging ODB's serious 80's mullet/mohawk hairstyle. Sojourner Bolt eliminated Roxxi a few moments later, also eliminating ODB mere seconds afterwards from the wrong side of the ropes which left Sojourner Bolt vs Madison Rayne in a standard match. Rayne took advantage hitting Bolt with boots aplenty before making a nice roll-up into a small package, Bolt also kicked out of a nice backslide (it was nice that Rayne finally got to show off some of her skills from SHIMMER).
Bolt forgot she was in a standard match now and ended up with a facefull of crossbody block from Rayne but Bolt took the win off what looked like a backward Implant Buster (whatever its called it looked great and Rayne sold it well) in 10:26. Very decent quality match by the women indeed.
Rough Cut segment on The Ultimate X match.
Tag Match - The Motor City Machine Guns vs Lethal Consequences aka the team I personally named and TNA stole my idea. Sabin & Lethal kicked off precedings here but Creed nearly faceplanted himself in an almost flub of his back roll over Shelley. Lethal made the eventual pin off Shelley to take the win in 4:30 which for these guys and their level of skill is far too short. Everyone had a great match though & it was a pleasure to watch apart from the crappy heel finish.
JB teases about an Internationally known Tag Team on their way to TNA. ODB's Angle, she shills a competition where you can win a date with her and also manages to get Brutus Magnus' name wrong. I thought they'd binned this idea as it wasn't very over? Video from a shrink session between Abyss and "Dr Stevie" (Former ECW and WWE worker Stevie Richards best known as part of the BWO, being Ravens tag partner and former member of Right To Censor. Also thought to be the one who offed Crash Holly).
Tag Team Championship - Abyss & Rhino vs Beer Money. I'm not exactly sure how Rhino & Abyss even got this title shot. I can't really recall them being tag partners before and its not as though they would even be the current #1 contenders either. I guess this match was hurriedly thrown together to forward the Abyss & Matt Morgan feud storyline but thats a poor reason to allow a brand new tagteam to get an instant title shot.
I don't even know if there was even an opening bell to this match as it'd already started whilst West & Tenay were jabbering over a video of Beer Money winning at the PPV. Way to miss the start of the match Mr Director, you idiot! Not content with missing the start of the match they also took a commercial break during it but Beer Money remained on top keeping Rhino in their corner.
Roode distracted the ref out of the ring once Abyss tagged in by brawling with Rhino at ringside, Storm was chokeslammed onto the phony beer bottle and he was lucky it didnt break when he landed on it. Matt Morgan ran in with chair and beaned Abyss as the ref was still outside with Roode & Rhino which allowed Storm to take the easy pin in a god awful match with an even worse finish in (roughly) 4:05 and quite frankly this match couldnt have been short enough as it was atrocious.
Hardcore History 101 with Mick Foley. Kurt Angle calls out Sting to come out & lay down to allow him an easy win of Stings title, this had earned Jarretts displeasure earlier so we had no clue how this was going to go down. Sting comes out as Angle insists he has to make an example of him (followed by chants of "you suck" from the Impact Zone crowd directed at Angle) and agrees to lay down but questions Angles integrity.
Sting shoots rather nicely, very close to the bone and shows he can still work a mic. Sting lays down and there is a huge "you suck" chant from the whole Impact Zone (despite some woman in the front row very loudly shouting "I love you Kurt"), Angle goes to make the cover to loud booing and then Angle just unloads before Steiner & Nash stop it with the crowd chanting "Let them fight" and Angle sets the match for next week as an empty arena match.
Summary - This weeks Impact had 5 matches which lasted a total of 32:24, just over 1 quarter of their actual time on air. I would have liked to have seen at least 1 more match and the Knockout Gauntlet match to have gone at least another 5 minutes.
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