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Monday, July 20, 2009

My TNA Catch-up, Victory Road PPV 09

Knockout Championship, Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne) vs Tara - Tara was on top from the start making a nice Taratula on Love but getting distracted by Sky & Rayne allowing Love to make a fairly extended comeback, Sky accidently sprayed Love with the "hairspray" and Tara had the cover off a schoolboy roll-up until that f**kwitted retard Slick Johnson decided it was more important to send Sky & Rayne backstage allowing Love the time to kick out. Tara made a nice rotating sideslam but missed a reverse moonsault allowing Love to make the pin but Slick Johnson didn't see Taras foot on the rope but Angelina Love is the new Knockout Champion and Slick Johnson deserved everything he got.
Matt Morgan vs Daniels - I'm not exactly sure what bookers were thinking when they made this match, the only heat these 2 guys have was created in a really crap way so no-one really wants to see this match. Control switched between both guys numerous times, they were in and out of the ring but Morgan took the rather predictable win off the Hellavator in a match that was at least 10 minutes too long.
No DQ Match, Dr. Stevie vs Abyss - As a no DQ match it was fair to assume there would be a run in by Daffney or some form of interference from someone else. The "new ring gear" Abyss was wearing was just a jacket over his old ring gear he used wear when James Mitchell was his manager. This match was basically just Abyss beating the c**p out of Stevie who bladed at some point (I didn't notice exactly when) but Abyss hit the shock treatment and only held his pin for a 2 count which made Daffney run in with tazer which brought backstage announcer and "girlfriend" of Abyss Lauren come out to stop her.
Stevie went to use the tazer and Abyss hit the Black Hole Slam, used the tazer on Stevie and made the easy pin to take the win. Why this was a PPV match God himself only knows as I wouldn't have given it away for free on Impact. To anyone wondering about the holes on the back of the top Abyss was wearing should also look at the scars across the tattoo on his arm, all of which were sustained in a barbed wire match against Sabu in TNA several years ago.
IWGP Heavyweight Tag Championship, The British Invasion (with Rob Terry) vs Team 3D - As soon as Slick Johnson (having made a f**king miraculous recovery from Taras dropkick on him earlier) failed to send Rob Terry back to the locker room it was pretty certain he'd be interfering at some point during this match which he did but Team 3D took the eventual win off the 3D on Doug Williams. VERY boring match which was far too long. The run in and beatdown from Kiyoshi & Sheik Abdul Bashir was more entertaining however Kiyoshi exited over the top rope thanks to Brother Ray and Bashir took a Super Bubba Bomb through a table.
Special Challenge Match, Sharmell (with Sojo Bolt) vs Jenna Morasca (with Awesome Kong) - The introductions of this match were VERY poor indeed and you really couldn't tell who was going to be wrestling especially with Sharmell having come to the ring in ang evening gown and both Kong & Bolt came dressed to rumble, Kong came without Raisha Saeed which I think is yet another teaser towards the fact her character is on the way out and we will be seeing more of either Cheerleader Melissa or Alissa Flash.
Well I've seen gimmick matches with men dressed as women wrestling women, I've seen announcers & General Managers wrestle and I've seen wrestlers Managers & Valets wrestle. This however reminded me of the very 1st episode of Hulk Hogans Celebrity Championship Wrestling as neither of these women really have much in the way of wrestling ability and the match itself has so little heat it didn't even belong on tv let alone get midcard status on a PPV. Quite frankly the ECW catfight days were better matches than this.
Jenna pulled some of Sharmells weave out & Bolt tried to interfere but Kong put a stop to that and played with the piece of weave. You'd think that someone who'd recently lost a large amount of hair would have demonstrated some sort of sympathy there? Anyway Kong clobbered Sharmell with her fist and allowed Jenna to take the easy win in this p**s poor excuse for a match.
Legends Championship, Kevin Nash vs AJ Styles - Very poor match that even Styles with his stunning array of moves couldn't make look good, Styles was on top for most of it but Nash took the win off a simple chokeslam to become new Legends Champion. Extremely poor match and it makes you wonder how much they paid Styles to job in such a poor fashion.
Tag Team Championship, Scott Steiner & Booker T vs Beer Money - Beer Money had this won twice but after a poor bit of "something in my eye" acting by Earl Hebner Booker hit the axe kick on Roode on the apron allowing Steiner to make a schoolboy roll-up to make the pin and the MEM are now new Tag Team Champions.
Grudge Match, Samoa Joe vs Sting - By the sounds of the interview Joe gave before this match we are FINALLY going to see Tazz. Most of the start of this was in the crowd which was just them beating the c**p out of each other without really making much of a match but it improved a bit once they got back in the ring with Joe making a rather good suicide dive.
Recently it has seemed like Joes heart hasn't been in his job mainly due to having to work really shitty matches where he's just angry and beats on people without getting any actual match or finish. Joe had been paintbrushing Sting with slaps but Sting came back and made a sideslam where both guys were left holding their heads (bad landing or over selling?), Sting was on top from here and had the Scorpion Leg Lock synched in with Joe about to tap when some music hit, the orange & black FTW graphic came up on the screen and Tazz came out in a black suit. Joe had a miracle comeback but Sting fought off the musclebuster so Joe went for the rear naked chokehold forcing Sting to tap out so Samoa Joe took the win leaving Joe to celebrate with Tazz.
It is announced Bobby Lashley HAS signed to TNA. Oh dear, what the f**k for? Theres no-one really big to work with him & I can't see him getting any kind of title shots for a few months at least so him coming to TNA is pointless just like Frank Trigg in fact. He's not going to further his wrestling career any as fans will just cite his MMA matches as to why anyone in TNA should be beating him. Do TNA really need someone of Lashleys size & background, simple answer? No.
World Heavyweight Championship, Mick Foley vs Kurt Angle - This started out slow (someone reported that Angle worked this match with a groin strain? I saw no indications of that) with mat work and just devolved into farce after Foley went for the Socko Claw only for Angle to push Foley into the ref then hit the Angle Slam which Foley kicked out of after 2 causing Angle to drop an elbow on the ref (surely an instant DQ right there?) althought when Angle went to get the chair he was limping and holding his upper thigh so maybe evidence of the groin strain there?
Foley pre-empted the chair and hit the Socko Claw (at least call the move correctly West & Tenay?) throwing Angle through the ropes to the floor before hitting a flying elbow drop from the apron onto Angle. Foley had a leg scissors hold with the Socko Claw but Angle resisted the submission, Foley resisted the ankle lock once breaking the hold by reaching the ropes but Angle hit the Ankle Lock again and Foley tapped out allowing Angle to retain his title on a night where the MEM dominated and this was a really poor PPV as far as matches, finishes and general quality went.

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