Reviews of Wrestling, Movies, TV and much more! Strong language has been censored by me for blog content

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

ROH Wrestling 25th Apr 09 reviewed

Tag Match - Grizzly Redwood & Andy "Right Leg" Ridge vs Dark City Fight Club (Kory Chavis & Jon Davis). Last time we saw Fight Club it was a short squash match against Cheech & Cloudy so hopefully we'll get to see a bit more of them this time. Ridge was selling like crazy for Chavis & Davis who were hitting every move making them all look as stiff as possible, Redwood had a short run where he was selling for Fight Club as well but if I'm honest you can only watch a team dominate a match for so long before it gets boring like it did here. Ridge came back in & was double teamed in a powerbomb where Davis took the win for Dark City Fight Club. These kinds of matches are pointless and don't help to get the more powerful team over unless there is some kind of opposition and don't do much good to ROH.

Alex Payne vs Nigel McGuinness - No introduction for either guy here and several minutes of McGuinness bad mouthing the fans, it seems that despite the fact that McGuinness needed time off for an arm injury he has only been off 3 weeks and that arm was still heavily taped here. Payne was on top from the get go & rather oddly enough the colour guys were saying they weren't impressed with him last time they saw him so clearly they don't have a f**king clue as he was far more entertaining than Claudio Castagnoli who he was working against and jobbed to in that match.

McGuinness made a predictable comeback with Payne selling well on the armholds, the 2nd of which slowed the match down a litttle too much for my liking. Payne got a 2 count off a roll-up which McGuinness responded to with a stiff looking Lariat clothesline, McGuinness took the win off the Tower Of London (ddt off the top turnbuckle). A fairly average match for both guys.

Tag Match - Chris Hero & Eddie Edwards (with Larry Sweeney) vs Jay Briscoe & Kevin Steen. Hero & Edwards preempted the bell & jumped Steen & Briscoe, Hero was given a sharp exit over the ropes curtesy of Briscoe leaving Edwards & Steen to start working a proper and fair match (although I noticed Sara Del Rey had come to the ring with the heels). Steen was owning Edwards & Heros attempt at a sneak attack earnt him a clothesline to the apron from Steen, Briscoe came in to give Steen a breather as Edwards was still getting worked over but eventually managed to get a tag to Chris Hero.

Hero didn't fare much better against Steen and was being seriously f**ked over by Briscoe when he tagged in until a foot grab from the floor by Larry Sweeney slowed Briscoe long enough for Hero to mount an offence taking Briscoe off the top turnbuckle with a sloppy looking dropkick which allowed Sweeney & Edwards to work over Briscoe outside the ring who was saved from a bigger beatdown by his brother Mark.

Briscoe was worked over by Edwards then Hero took charge getting a near fall, Briscoe managed to tag Steen back in who just missed getting the win from a great reverse Moonsault for such a big guy. Steen got double teamed for a fair while until Briscoe took Hero out of the equation by yanking the top rope and then hitting a clothesline off the apron, Steen took the eventual win off the Package Piledriver. A decent enough match for both teams but a little too long in terms of duration.

Tyler Black vs Bryan Danielson - So again ROH are firmly sticking to a long main event (20 minute time limit according to the guy doing the introductions), this hasn't worked in the previous 4 weeks of tv so it remains to be seen if it will work this week or not. The problems have been that everyone working the main event have been unable to fill the 20 minutes with solid action for the whole time, on the main it has been 15 minutes of padding with the only real action coming in the final 5 minutes of the match.

Yet again not much action from the start, mainly holds & mat work. I am not a big fan of technical wrestling at the best of times so generally find matches like this very boring indeed. The match did have a brief period of aerials and out of ring work but it only lasted a few minutes before they were both right back to slow holds and mat work again slowing the match down after a brief but entertaining interlude where both guys took it to the wire on weardown moves, the ref was laying a count on both men when the time limit expired and the match was called as a draw.

To whoever was commenting about Ric Flair appearing in ROH, it won't be on tv until next Saturday so I will reserve any judgements until I have seen what happens.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

WWE Superstars 23rd Apr 09 reviewed

I assume the show was coming from somewhere in England judging by the black cab & the double decker bus?
Tag Match - Rey Mysterio Jr & CM Punk vs The Big Show & Kane. This appeared to be a pretty pointless squash match on the face of it, I expected it to be utter sh**e and WWE didn't disappoint. It was overly long (by at least 5 minutes), all the decent action came from Punk & Mysterio but Kane took the win off a Chokeslam. VERY weak start to the show.
Mixed Tag Match - Finlay & Hornswoggle vs Tyson Kidd & Natalya. It seems from the prematch video that they now have someone as talented as Natalya jobbing to a gimmicky a***ehole like Hornswoggle, thats pretty f**king pathetic and shows how little WWE value their female talent. Thankfully this pile of s**t that they laughingly called a match was over in a few minutes after Finlay used the Shillelagh on Kidd and Hornswoggle took the win off the Tadpole Splash. Ultra f**king weak and idiots like these shouldn't even be on tv let alone being put over at the expense of good talent like Natalya.
A "Raw Rebound" telling us what happened on RAW recently. If I wanted to know whats happening on RAW I'd WATCH f**king RAW! This is just more proof that WWE hasn't got enough talent to fill 4 shows a week (they can barely fill 3 shows a week!).
Edge vs Kofi Kingston - It's nice to see Kofi getting a main event against someone as currently high profile as Edge, hopefully it shows their taking his ability seriously (unless the match has a s**t finish for the sake of an even s**ttier storyline that no-one cares about). Of the 10 minutes they had to fill Kofi was on top for about 5 of them and made 5 near falls before Edge finally took the fairly predictable win off the Spear.
This was the 2nd week of this show and on the whole it was just as s**t this week as it was last week if not worse (the mixed tag match was unforgivable quite frankly) and if they'd not bothered with the RAW rebound Edge & Kofi could have had a 15 minute match.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 23rd Apr 09 reviewed

Jeff Jarrett comes out with the TNA Heavyweight Title to present Mick Foley with the belt, Jarrett books Foley to defend the title at the Sacrifice PPV in a 4 way match and Foley books Jarrett against Scott Steiner for later on in the show. Team 3D announce a tag tournament to earn the right to compete against them for the TNA Tag Titles as a well as winning a trophy and a cheque for $100,000.

3D Tag Team Invitational Quarterfinals - Beer Money vs Lethal Consequences. Lethal & Creed pretty much owned this match from bell to bell, sadly Beer Money took the win off the DWI on Lethal.

LOTS of video packages and backstage c**p.

No DQ Knockouts Ladder Match - Sojourner Bolt vs Taylor Wilde. Its a standard ladder match, whoever gets the contract from the ladder wins a shot against the current Knockout champion Angelina Love. Wilde was on top at the start for a very short time, Bolt tried but Wilde reversed the Back Whip into the ladder that Bolt sold well. Wilde was suplexed from halfway up the ladder, Wilde sold like she landed on her neck but a check on slow-mo showed it was all shoulders. Wilde hit Bolt with a nicely sold backdrop from her shoulders and Bolt took some brass knucks from her bra (lots of bra to hide that in!), Wilde gave a volley of punches but Bolt used the knucks once and Wilde took a dive from the top of the ladder to allow Bolt to get the contract to take the win and we will see Sojourner Bolt compete for the Knockout Title at some time in the near future.

The Beautiful People celebrate Angelina Loves win and Madison Raye is officially a member of the Beautiful People, they celebrate with male strippers (who dont get very far) but Awesome Kong comes down and the Beautiful People run for it. One of the strippers gets an Awesome Bomb for his trouble so they were clearly all local jobbers.

Legends Championship - Kevin Nash (with Jenna Morasca whoever she is) vs AJ Styles. As a match this was pretty even with all the good action coming from Styles which is no surprise, sadly once Sharmell came down to distract the ref away from Booker T coming in hit the axe kick on Styles it kind of proved they didn't really know where they were going with this match hence the unneccessary interference. Nash went to hit a Powerbomb but the ref stopped it and called for the bell having seen Booker getting out of the ring so the win went to Styles off a DQ by outside interference.

3D Tag Team Invitational Quarterfinals - No Limits (with Kiyoshi & Sheik Abdul Bashir) vs Jethro Holliday & Eric Young. This was a pretty good match, nothing super special but it was nice to see someone new in TNA in the shape of Holliday who I know nothing about and sadly can't do any internet research on as my f**king broadband connection is down YET AGAIN! (Now its finally back up 3 hours later I found its Trevor Murdoch formerly of WWE) Young had a good match and No Limit were both excellent as usual, Young took the win off the Crucifix Drop even with the interference from Bashir & Kiyoshi.

Interview with Christopher Daniels.

Cactus Jack Smack Attack Match - Scott Steiner vs Jeff Jarrett. Mick Foley came to join West & Tenay at the colour desk to get a close up view of the match he'd booked Jarrett into at the top of the show, essentially its a hardcore weapons match and there was barbed wire on the ropes of one side of the ring.

Jarrett went right to work using a kendo stick and only then did I notice they had foam rubber all over the ring ropes where the barbed wire was meaning anyone getting sent back or face first into those ropes were never going to touch the barbed wire. The fan who had written "Use My Sign" got his wish (I'm assumming he was a plant as it turned out to be a Dead End street sign with the paper message over it) and Jarrett beaned Steiner over the back with it twice.

The match had jumped the shark once Steiner was clotheslined off a pogo stick (possibly THE funniest thing I've ever seen in wrestling ever) and Steiner started hitting Jarrett with a plastic Santa Claus garden decoration also hitting Jarret with a great suplex into a garbage can on the floor which left both guys grabbing at their elbows. Coming back from commercials they'd managed to get back into the ring and Steiner got sent head first into a chair then took a shot to the head from a garbage can lid before Jarrett hit a nice double underhook DDT into a garbage can.

Steiner levelled the field from a good belly to belly suplex & as Jarrett set up for the Stroke into a chair he & Steiner briefly exchanged words as to what moves they were going to do next before Jarrett was sent face first into the chair. Jarrett hit a lowblow then nailed The Stroke but Steiner kicked out, Steiner got a 2 count after hitting a good backdrop off the 2nd rope then locking the Steiner Recliner onto Jarrett who came back by hitting Steiner with another good backdrop off his shoulders.

After beaning Steiner with the guitar Jarrett hit the Stroke yet again this time to finally take the win. Angle came down and hit the Angle Slam whilst Jarrett was celebrating (I had wondered what they were going to do with the 4 minutes of air time they had left) and hooked the Ankle Lock as Steiner synched in the Steiner Recliner which finally got Foley out of his seat to make the save by swiping Angle across the back with a chair (possibly one of the lightest chairshots I have ever seen) which sent Steiner running out of the ring and Foley also nailed Jarrett in the head with the same chair.

Jarrett shoots on Foley and tells him he's going to fire him, we then have the overly long intro for Bobby Lashley and it seems he might be coming in as a friend to the MEM.

ROH Wrestling 18th Apr 09 reviewed

Well its almost a week late but here it comes, currently my internet connection is down due to a local network outage so I figured if I couldn't go online I'd use the time productively to review this. Connection came back after at least 4 hours gone so at least I can post this now.

Jimmy Jacobs vs Necro Butcher - This one started with Jacobs jumping Necro as the ref took a staplegun off Necro & Jacobs was on top for a while from there, I'm not exactly sure what the colour desk thought the fans were chanting when they said they didn't dare repeat it ("Bonk Bonk Necro, Bonk Bonk" that "Bonk Bonk" chant is one of the very old fan chants from early ECW when it became Extreme so god alone knows what colour thought they were hearing) and it displays their lack of knowledge about wrestling history or other promotions, clearly all the historical facts they cite are written down for them.

Necro took the match to the floor using the bell & choking Jacobs out, Jacobs came back with the worlds scrappiest suplex on Necro (who either didn't trust Jacobs to sell it or didn't go with it at all as Jacobs clearly struggled to take Necro over convincingly) who clearly hit the back of his head and Jacobs did a dive over the top rope out of the ring onto Necro who was sitting on a chair with Jacobs selling that he'd hurt his hip. Necro countered a Spear by punching Jacobs then hit the Tiger Driver, he went out to get the staplegun which caused a run-in by Brody Lee and the ref threw this one out as a DQ (he DQ'd Jacobs for outside interference) giving the win to Necro Butcher.

Sami Callahan vs Eddie Kingston - More a brawl than anything else, Kingston took the win off a Backdrop Driver into a Spinning Backfist and made the roll-up.

Bobby Dempsey vs Orange Cassidy - Cassidy got no intro at all, I wouldn't have even known his name if the colour guys hadn't said it, sadly this one was over in less than a minute after Dempsey hit the Bodyblock then the Death Valley Driver to take a very fast win here.

Cheech & Cloudy vs Rhett Titus & Kenny King - Cheech pretty much owned the 1st half of this then the heels took over when Cloudy came in. I say heels but they weren't drawing any heat and weren't selling very well either, Cloudy sold a fairly decent clothesline off King but f**ked up landing the Super Hurricanrana off Cheech's shoulders onto King who still sold it even though it barely made contact. Titus made the pin on Cheech off a Blockbuster but Cloudy certainly took a bad fall off the top turnbuckle into the guard rail.

Claudio Castagnoli vs Brent Albright. Well their having yet another longish main event (with around 14 minutes of tv air time left to fill) and Castagnoli jumped Albright before he ever got in the ring but Albright got the upper hand pretty quickly and gave Castagnoli a quick tour of the ring introducing his head to several sides of the apron. Albright hit a nice Backbreaker before he finally got a chance to take his robe off but Castagnoli came back with a series of European Uppercuts, Castagnoli was sent outside the ring but caught Albright in his attempt at a cross bodyblock and rammed Albright into the guardrail covers back first.

After Albright came back into the ring Castagnoli hit a weardown move (far too late into the match and slowing the action down exactly when they should have really been winding up to a finish), Albright sold a stiff looking clothesline and Castagnoli toyed with Albright for about 5 minutes not doing much but enough to stay on top. Albright hit a good belly to belly suplex outside the ring but Castagnoli took him right back into the ring with a side headlock slowing the action down again at the wrong time, Albright mounted a fairly decent comeback and we had a couple of c**p attempts at finishers from both men but Castagnoli took the win off a Victory Roll and a big assist from a handfull of the bottom rope.

Again this week it wasn't a great main event and 2 matches left a lot to be desired with Kingstons boring slugfest and Dempseys sub 60 second win that helped neither guy get over as we didn't really get to see any kind of offence from either man.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Portal Problems

It seems that I am not the only person having isses with the Valve game Portal, most of us seem to have the same issue. Namely the game crashes as soon as you go through the very 1st Portal giving the same memory address error, another common factor appears to be we all have the same Intel onboard graphics chip (Intel(R) 82945G Express Chipset Family).

I've tried all sorts of stuff, removed AVG as an Anti Virus solution (useful as its slow, memory hungry, crap compared to the previous version and have now started using Avast!), updated the device drivers (also helpful as it unlocked a boatload of new resolution settings my monitor was capable of displaying) and finally Googled for command line settings.

Now these work but BEWARE! They got me out of the 1st room and I stood there having a look around for a few moments only for my PC to totally crash and reboot itself so they MIGHT work for you but BEWARE (you can't say I haven't warned you!) that they may crash your PC too. I added these to the command line of the Portal exe.

-applaunch 400 -steam -dxlevel 81 +mat_forcehardwaresync 0 +mat_forcemanagedtextureintohardware 0 +snd_async_prefetch_priority 1 +mat_softwarelighting 1 +mat_reducefillrate 1 +mat_bumpmap 0 +mat_picmip 2 -w “1024″ -h “768″

Call me insane but I have a feeling sound and NOT graphics is the issue here, the original crash used to happen exiting the 1st room (as that happens a sound is supposed to play) and I noticed in the 2 times my game totally crashed my machine they were both when a triggered sound event happened, the last one being the voice of GLADOS. So I'm wondering if the sound were disabled would it fix the crashing issue?

Heres an improved version of the command line with some new tweaks added:-
-applaunch 400 -steam -dxlevel 81 +mat_forcehardwaresync 0 +mat_forcemanagedtextureintohardware 0 +snd_async_prefetch_priority +mat_softwarelighting 1 +mat_reducefillrate 1 +mat_bumpmap 0 + mat_specular 0 +mat_picmip 2 +mat_max_worldmesh_vertices 1024 +map_background none -autoconfig

Yet another improved version with even more commands:-

-applaunch 400 -steam -dxlevel 81 +mat_forcehardwaresync 0 +mat_antialias 0 + mat_disable_bloom 1 +mat_forcemanagedtextureintohardware 0 +snd_async_prefetch_priority +mat_softwarelighting 1 +mat_reducefillrate 1 +mat_bumpmap 0 + mat_specular 0 +mat_picmip 2 +mat_max_worldmesh_vertices 1024 +map_background none -heapsize 1024000 +datacachesize 128 -autoconfig

-nosound (in case the Glados is the issue)

My TNA Catch-up, Lockdown PPV 09

I was lucky enough to see the preshow as well so we are kicking off with this:-
Special Challenge Match - Danny Bonaduce vs Eric Young. I assume the "fan" whose finger Bonaduce bit was a plant from some local Indy fed? Bonaduce had already made himself look a twat in the opening minute by dropping the nunchucks and didn't fare much better from then in, his Senton barely made contact and he didn't do a good job in going with the small package that allowed Young to take the win. I assume they'd already agreed beforehand that Young wouldn't use the Death Valley Driver on Bonaduce who jumped Young with the nunchucks postmatch to choke him out but Rhino made the save with the Gore.
X Division Championship Xscape Match - Jay Lethal vs Kiyoshi vs Consequences Creed vs Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Suicide. Tonight its Kaz in the costume finally back from his injury rehab and I was wondering how he was going to enter the cage but they did a lights out/lights on to avoid him having to drop from the zipline and potentially reinjure himself again. Rules are simple, its elimination by pin or submission until there are 2 guys left then the 1st to escape the cage wins the title. 1st to be eliminated was Kiyoshi by Creed & Lethal working together followed by the exit of Creed who was eliminated by Bashir who also eliminated Lethal leaving Bashir vs Suicide. Suicide took the win by jumping from the top of the cage onto the security guys who had come out to stop Kiyoshi interfering. Not a great match and its pretty clear Kaz is far from recovered as he didn't take many bumps in this match at all.
Queen Of The Cage Match - Madison Rayne vs Sojourner Bolt vs Daffney vs ODB (with Cody Deaner). It was painfully obvious from the get go that 1 referee wasn't enough as he totally failed to notice Daffney hitting the bridging suplex on Madison Rayne right near the start of the match. Daffney bumped well (the snap off ODB's back was well sold) and was certainly getting into the mix as well. If anyone was wondering Daffney wasn't waiting for a cue or the right time, she hurt herself on the missed elbow drop as she was still rubbing that elbow when ODB hit the sideslam on Madison Rayne but with a Powerslam on Sojourner Bolt ODB took the win to become Queen Of The Cage.
3 Team Tornado IWGP Junior Tag Title Match - LAX vs No Limit vs The Motor City Machine Guns, the rules here are that everyone is on the ring together and whoever makes the pin or submission gets the belts. A decent amount of action and West & Tenay making an extremely rare catch on Homicides flub where he overshot the backdrop, you rarely hear them point stuff like that out as they normally try to cover for flubs. Sabins Tornado DDT was pretty cool and Hernandez hitting the belly to belly sending Sabin into the cage (check Ref Slick Johnsons reaction!) were the highlights of the match and The Guns took the win off Made In Detroit to retain their titles.
Doomsday Chamber Of Blood Match - Matt Morgan vs Abyss. You can only pin your opponant if they are bleeding. Abyss blooded fairly early (with the colour desk trying to sell that it'd been off Morgans use of the chair which he then threw out of the cage) and the match went downhill once the ref was taken out (Andrew Thomas took one hell of a bump from Matt Morgan!), Abysss used the glass (and Morgan was a bit TOO obvious putting his blade back into his right boot) and Morgan bladed pretty deep, Slick Johnson ran out and came into the cage to take over as Ref and as Abyss tried to take a chair back into the ring "Dr Stevie" (Steven Richards) stopped him allowing Morgan to hit the Carbon Footprint that Abyss kicked out of. The crowd were chanting "E-C-Dub!" at Richards and Morgan looked genuinely pissed off (I think he gave the crowd the finger?), Abyss bought in thumbtacks and Stevie took his jacket off and got in the ring and started paintbrushing Abyss which allowed Morgan to hit the lowblow and powerbombed Abyss into the thumbtacks which allowed Morgan to take the win.
Womens Knockout Championship - Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) vs Taylor Wilde vs Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed). Kong hadn't done anything to the hair that Love had cut this week on Impact so Kong went straight for Love who tried to climb out of the cage. Wilde & Kong teamed up until Kong hit Wilde with a front face slam, the action was just above average on the whole but for Love this was probably the best match she has had since she worked as Angel Williams (before she got the implants and was better known for her talent than her fake large breasts).

Kong made an outstanding somersault flip from the top rope which hit nothing but canvas (still an outstanding move as well as a great bump from such a big lady) and that allowed Sky to tie Kongs braids into the cage keeping her on the mat, Wilde hit a nice flying cross body block (I assume this hurt Love somehow as both Wilde and the ref were checking on her during the various counts), Wilde released Love from a side headlock (put on to conceal whatever injury Love had sustained and allow some recovery time) to go and work Kong (to allow Love even more recovery time as the crowd were chanting "You f**ked up") who kicked Wilde back to allow Love to make a quick roll-up to take the win and become new the TNA Knockout Womens Champion.
Philadelphia Street Fight for IWGP Heavyweight & TNA Tag Titles - Beer Money vs Team 3D. Falls count anywhere and whoever wins gets both sets of titles. Whoever set up the split screen clearly didn't bother checking it on any kind of tv or monitor as those images were TINY! If you have action in 2 places at once then split your screen down the middle and give each set of guys half the screen so the viewers can see. It was tough to tell if Devon was actually hurt or if it was a work from the suplex through the table by Beer Money, it gave Ray a chance to blade off camera (selling the cage door to the face from earlier) and Ray worked Beer Money in the cage on his own as Devon was still on the floor exactly where he'd fallen after the suplex. Ray hit Roode with a great Bubbabomb off the top turnbuckle and Devon made it back into the ring and was able to hit The Doomsday Device (yet another move that the colour desk failed to call correctly) as well as the Wassup but Team 3D took the win after putting Roode through a table with the 3D and are new TNA & IWGP Heavyweight Tag Champions.
Lethal Lockdown - Team Angle vs Team Jarrett. Starting off for Team Angle was Kurt Angle and starting for Team Jarrett was Chris Daniels (just introduced as Daniels), it was pretty even with Daniels coming out on top putting Angle into a headscissors lock and the 2nd guy in for Team Angle was Booker T. Booker and Angle worked on Daniels and next in for Team Jarrett was AJ Styles and that evened the playing field as the 2 former tag partners beat on Booker & Angle to wear them down as much as possible. Next out for Team Angle was Scott Steiner who took charge on his own (making a well sold Frankensteiner on Styles), next in for Team Jarrett was Samoa Joe or so we thought but he was standing backstage talking to someone we couldn't see behind a curtain. Joe did eventually come out after a minute and took care of business allowing Styles and Daniels to catch their breath and get back on top. Kevin Nash came down as the last guy for Team Angle and Joe took him out by kicking the cage door into him and they duked it out on the floor until it was time for the last man to enter, Jeff Jarrett as Team Captain.
With everyone in the cage the door was locked and the roof lowered and the weapons came into play, Jarrett made sure he handed everyone in his team a weapon (the 6 split screen idea in this was even worse than the 2 split screens in the tag match, they've done this before and it didn't work then either so it appears they haven't learnt from their mistake yet. Hopefully this WILL be the final time we see this stupid split screen idea where all the screens are so small you can't actually see anything at all). Angle and Styles got onto the top of the cage and were fighting up there and Angle hit a lowblow then came back down into the ring but Styles dived through the roof onto Team Angle with an insane flying crossbody block (that hurt Steiners left knee, watch him grab it!).
Joe hit the Musclebuster on Steiner but Booker stopped the pin and Jarrett managed to bean Styles with a chair whilst swinging at Booker but Styles kicked out of the attempted pin. Steiner managed to hurt himself sending Daniels into a chair (watch the stupid f**ker grab the back of his own head), Jarrett then nailed Booker with the guitar allowing Styles to make to pin and take the win for Team Jarrett. No clue why Bobby Lashley came out afterwards, nor do I care.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship - Mick Foley vs Sting. According to Foley this was actually Cactus Jack vs Sting and in a "tweak" to the already established rules of winning by pin or submission you can also win this match by escaping the cage. Foley blooded himself in the opening seconds and this was fairly dull to be honest as Foley took the large percentage of the bumps, Foley putting the figure 4 leglock on Sting was quite cool but as Sting put the same on Foley it allowed him to get the barbed wire baseball bat and bring it into the ring. Foley hit Sting twice in the back of the knee but after a lot of bat work on both men Foley took the win by escaping the cage 1st to become the new TNA Heavyweight Champion.

Friday, April 17, 2009

WWE Friday Night SmackDown 17th Apr 09 reviewed

Jeff Hardy vs The Big Show. Kind of a pointless match on the face of it and proof that WWE's brands don't have enough talent for all 4 shows (yes, you now have to get used to saying WWE has 4 shows a week now) if he's working here on Smackdown as a RAW wrestler. Unsurprisingly this match was all Jeff and went on for too long (proved by the fact they had to send out Fat Matt to do a run-in) with The Big Show taking an exceptionally WEAK win off a right hand. The match would have better at half as long with a clean finish (no run-in, that heat is s**t, cheap and already old after Wrestlemania) but it appears that WWE are determined to kick the arse out of the Hardy Brothers feud regardless of whether its entertaining or not. Fat Matt's post match bulls**t was precisely that.
WWE persist in the "Santina" gimmick even though it got a lot of bad heat at Wrestlemania from the fans? I assume everyone could hear the spinning as Rick Rude turned in his grave with The Great Khali stealing his "kiss a female fan" gimmick.
Maryse vs Gail Kim. I thought WWE didn't copy TNA but here we have Maryse who couldn't look more like Angelina Love if she tried. Kim did all the work and took all the bumps in this one having to sell and put the champion over, Kim did get a decent comeback with a good neckbreaker but Maryse either wasn't ready or wasn't willing to selling the flying cross bodyblock from Kim who landed badly due to the flub by Maryse. Kim took the win off some kind of jawbreaker using the foot and she certainly did the most work in this match.
R-Truth vs John Morrison. R-Truth is of course Ron Killings who has always been a jobber in WWE right back to his days as K-Kwik after the WCW buyout so I don't expect to see him winning here against Morrison who has just gone solo after the Draft. Truth still has all the ability and agility but sure enough he was on the wrong end of a job to Morrison so he'd clearly been told to put the new guy over and sell for all he was worth which is pretty sad as Truth on his worst day is a better wrestler than Morrison will ever be. Truth did get a brief comeback to be on top but as predicted Morrison took the win off The Moonlight Drive. Truth was the much better worker here and it goes to show WWE just do NOT recognise talent when they have it.
Was Triple H vs Randy Orton supposed to be an actual match (guessing at no by the 2 stools that were in the ring)?
Shelton Benjamin vs The Undertaker. Taker hadn't gotten much in the way of an actual match against Fat Matt Hardy yesterday on Superstars so he wasn't really going to be very tired here. This was a fairly even match with Shelton & Taker both getting time on top and Shelton made a great belly to back suplex on Taker who made the best sell of it he could, Undertaker took the eventual and pretty quick win off the Tombstone but was holding the back of his head. Is he still suffering the effects of that fall in Wrestlemania but STILL working matches?
MVP vs Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler looks like he fell into the WWE dressing up box and found Jeff Jarretts shorts and Sid Vicious's Jacket. A fairly humdrum match that was at least 3 minutes too long, Ziggler took the win with the help of a handfull of trunks.
Batista vs Ted DiBiase Junior who they are STILL refusing to bill by his correct name? Get over the whole junior/senior thing WWE and let the guy out of his fathers shadow for f**ks sake. This match started out pretty boring and stayed that way, WWE took a commercial break during the match that I really couldn't see any point in as the show only had 9 minutes left on air anyway. It was hard to believe this could get any duller but these 2 elected to run mat work with only 3 minutes of airtime left, good old reliable Dave took matters into his own hands and hit a powerbomb to get the win and end the boredom. I guess its the 1st and only time I've ever been grateful to Batista for anything, thanks for ending a very boring match.

WWE Superstars 16th Apr 09 reviewed

This is a totally new show & it seems that WWE is not content with 3 weekly branded shows (which they barely have enough talent to fill), they now want to directly challenge TNA and have created this show which airs in the US on Thursdays. I'm not sure what time it airs so I can't comment as to whether it is direct competition against TNA Impact. (having checked on Wiki it airs at 8pm then again at 11pm and it appears that 2nd show is directly against the 2nd airing of Impact on Spike TV.)
On the colour desk are Todd Grisham & Jim Ross.
The Undertaker vs Matt Hardy. Well it might be a new show but Matt Hardy looks fatter than ever and this match wasn't even good enough to be called average, the match ended with Undertaker getting the win off a count out after Hardy bailed from the ring and thats a p**s poor way to start your new show WWE! Jeff Hardy coming out to hit the beatdown wasn't entirely unexpected but it put Fat Matt back into the ring for Taker to hit the chokeslam and get some kind of closure on his uneventful match.
Wrestlemania 25 video package.
Elimination Chase To Backlash - Christian vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle). Basically the winner of this will meet Jack Swagger at the Backlash PPV to contest the ECW Championship, a belt with less prestige than Tazz's old F**k The World title. This match was far too long, not remotely entertaining and thankfully over after Christian hit the Killswitch (what used to be called The Unprettier back in TNA) to take the win and will progress to the title match at Backlash.
The colour desk changed hands as Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler took the helm.
Cody Rhodes vs Shane McMahon - Quite frankly the days of folks like Vince & Shane O Mac fighting in matches should be long gone as its a f**king awful idea and demonstrates the lack of creativity that WWE have going on at the moment. If this was the main event then it meant there was the possiblity of 13 minutes or so worth of this match going on before the end of the show, sadly they both really dragged this one out with lots of holds and wear down moves. This couldn't have been any more dull and they were already kicking the arse out of this match before it was half done, sadly Rhodes took took the win after Shane hit Rhodes with a chair from outside the ring and the ref DQ'd Shane for using a foreign object. The cameras had to cut away as Shane failed to get anywhere close on his coast to coast attempt and the slow-mo showed how little contact Shane got and how much of a bump he took just to look like a c**t.
If this is all WWE have to go against TNA on a Thursday then Jeff Jarrett & Dixie Carter should have no worries at all.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 16th Apr 09 reviewed

AJ Styles comes out to talk about Jeff Jarrett who also comes out to answer his issues. Kurt Angle comes down to interject.
3 Way Match - Chris Sabin (with Alex Shelley) vs Homicide (with Hernandez) vs Naito (with Yujiro, Kiyoshi & Sheik Abdul Bashir). Sabin & Naito started a doubleteam on Homicide but Sabin soon ended that partnership with a clothesline, Homicide hurt himself when he went for the flipdive into No Limit that took him over the guardrail and face first into a wall but he was paintbrushing himself to try and shrug it off to get back in the match and that shows how gutsy he is. Homicide continued to take bumps (twice off the apron to the floor) and came back into the match well. According to the colour guys Danny Bonaduche will be going against Eric Young in the Lockdown preshow so thats pretty much darkmatch status right there. Homicide took the eventual win with the 187 on Naito. Great match, especially considering the hit Homicide took in the head.
Shot of Brother Runt & Balls Mahoney arriving at the Impact Zone by taxi. Jim Cornette books Abyss & ODB into a mixed tag match (against each other), Cody Deaner conveniently volunteers to be ODB's partner. Jeff Jarrett interview.
6 Knockout Tagteam Match - Taylor Wilde, Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs The Beautiful People & Madison Rayne. This started on the ramp as Kong & her team dragged Love, Sky & Rayne into the ring. Kong was left working Love in the ring and she took the quick win off the Implant Buster, Kong went to use the scissors on Love but Sky & Rayne made the save before driving Saeed & Wilde into the belt that they'd set up on the turnbuckle. Kong had something sprayed into her face before Love beaned her with the title then Kong got a haircut. Pretty weak as a match and even weaker as set-up for the title bout on the PPV.
Runt & Balls Mahoney offer their support and Balls cites many classic ECW names, I loved Rays question "What about Heyman", the shrug just spoke volumes & really made me laugh.
Mixed Tagmatch - ODB & Cody Deaner vs Abyss & Daffney. Its great that Daffney has FINALLY dropped the stupid Governor gimmick and is now working as herself at long last, its also rather cool that she acknowledged her WCW nickname as Queen Of Scream in her new ring outfit with the top that said "I scream". Daffney bumped and worked ODB well even hitting a nice flip bridging suplex that looked pretty tidy, she really is able to work well now she is in a proper ring costume and a decent set of boots. Deaner came in against Abyss and all we really got to see was him on the wrong end of a beatdown taking a few bumps and Abyss took the win off the Black Hole Slam which Deaner sold very well indeed. So-so match, I would have liked to have seen more offence from Deaner but it won't be the last match we see him in but it really IS nice to see Daffney back as herself.
Mick Foley interviews Cactus Jack, yep, he talks to himself. Sting comes out and gets a beating for his trouble. Beer Money jump Runt & Balls Mahoney backstage (PLEASE say this means Runt is coming back and that Balls will be coming to TNA?) but fight into the Impact Zone, Balls bladed and took a couple of chairshots from Roode. Runt also bladed off camera, sold a DDT into a chair as well as a chair to the head and was superbombed through a table. Team 3D made the eventual save and Ray called Beer Money out. Its rare that a storyline beatdown on non-talent is any good but the 2 ECW veterans made this what it was.
Lethal Lockdown Advantage Challenge Round 3 - Kurt Angle (acting as a substitute for Kevin Nash, at the top of the show Angle had said Nash had a bad elbow and wasn't given Doctors clearance to wrestle until Sunday) vs Christopher Daniels. Daniels must be happy to be out of the Suicide costume and actually wrestling as himself again, for those of you who can't read lips Chris said "I never left" which is 100% correct as once he was "fired" he became Curryman and once he was "fired" he then became Suicide whilst Kaz has been out injured. Daniels showed he still has it with the great reverse split leg moonsault onto Angle outside the ring, he also sold a nice belly to belly suplex over the top rope. The double clothesline was a bit pointless and came at exactly the wrong time but Daniels got a good comeback, Angle sold a couple of good near falls and the colour desk failed to call a good Enzugiri by Daniels on Angle. Daniels took the eventual win off an excellent single leg roll through which gives Team Jarrett the advantage at Lockdown, I don't know why they bothered to play the whole "didn't pin him" idea. Jarrett comes down and replays the tape and reverses the decision giving Team Angle the advantage and as the show end Samoa Joe comes out looking pissed off.
I'm not exactly sure what this is setting up for at Lockdown this weekend but I guess we will see when it happens.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

ECW 14th Apr 09 reviewed

Matt Striker & Josh Matthews on the colour desk showing what happens to washed up wrestlers and those who fail in "Tough Enough".

John Morrison vs Evan Bourne. Ah, good old Evan. WWE actually stole the name for his finisher off me! At best this was an average match, early on Bourne was going to dropkick Morrison who was doing a missile dropkick himself but Bourne clearly changed his mind at the very last second & took a step back instead. Bourne sold a neck injury from a legsweep and Morrisons Torture Rack looked pretty good but it slowed the match down at the wrong time. Bournes headscissors was pretty impressive and whats quite bizarre is that they took a commercial break only 9 minutes into a show that only lasts for 40 minutes, the match was slowed down yet again with another weardown move. It took too long for Bourne to come back and this match was getting boring around the 13 minute mark but Bourne managed to rescue the match with a nice reverse Hurricanrana on Morrison who took the eventual win off The Moonlight Drive. The match was around 5 minutes too long and that was mainly due to Morrison trying weardown moves at totally inappropriate times, Bourne was the better worker here though.

Vladimir Kozlov vs David Floridia. I didn't expect this to be very long or very entertaining as Kozlov has a history of s**t squash matches against no name jobbbers and I wasn't surprised on any front here with Kozlov taking the win off a p**s poor choke slam where Kozlov also had to use the leg of his opponant for leverage.

Triple Threat Match, Elimination Chase To Backlash - Christian vs Tommy Dreamer vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle). This wasn't anything special, Finlay was his usual jobbing self but Dreamer & Christian made the match what it was taking the best bumps. Finlay took the eventual win with the Celtic Cross on Dreamer and he will face off against Christian on a new show later in the week for a chance to meet the ECW Champ in a title match.

Monday, April 13, 2009

ROH Wrestling 11th Apr 09 reviewed

Kenny Omega vs Austin Aries - This is a pretty fast fall from grace for Aries who went from being a main eventer to a curtain jerker in the space of 7 days & the crowd showed their feelings by chanting "Austin A***ole". This was all Aries from the bell, Omega sold 2 nice armdrags but there wasn't much going on or many moves actually leading to anything. Omega had 3 near falls (the leg lariat facebuster was nice!) and made a nice reverse moonsault out of the ring. Aries was selling like crazy to put Omega over but Aries took the win off a very well sold Brainbuster. I'd say this match was about 5 minutes too long but pretty ok otherwise.

"Dirty" Ernie Osiris vs Delirious - Does Homeless Jimmy know Osiris is trying to work his gimmick and if so what does he think about it? This was neither exciting or very entertaining, Delirious won off Shadows Over Hell (splash onto opponants back trying to sell a double axehandle that made no contact). This was a really weak match and neither guy looked much cop, Delirious was the better worker of the 2 but thats not saying much. Osiris looked way too green to be working on tv yet, Delirious might have been able to make more out of a more talented or experienced opponant.

Sara Del Rey & Sassy Stephie (with Larry Sweeney) vs Daizee Haze & Nevaeh - Haze & Del Rey kicked this off so it was almost a rubber match from 2 weeks ago only this time with the added extra of a partner to tag in. Haze was working the arm and when Del Rey went to slam her & Haze span out of it I almost thought that was a flub and that Del Rey had accidently dropped her.

This match was mainly Haze working Del Rey who did get a nice near fall off a bridging suplex, Stephie wasn't allowed time to do anything as Del Rey came right back in but Haze got a chance to work Stephie hitting a nice dropkick off the top turnbuckle and it appears the colour guys think a womans throat is in her breasts? Del Rey came in to make the save on her partner but for some reason the ref wasn't counting at all, Nevaeh (its Heaven spelt backwards as the helpful colour guys pointed out) took out Del Rey outside the ring with a nice cross body block off the apron and Haze took the win off Stephie with The Mind Trip. It was an ok match but I'd liked to have seen more from both Stephie & Neveah.

Brodie Lee (with Jimmy Jacobs) vs Jerry Lynn - I'm really not sure that this current format of ROH's main event really works by having it go for over 20 minutes, in pretty much every week so far the main event has been all filler with some action over the last 5 or so minutes. Jerry Lynn can work a longer match so hopefully the trend will end this week. Lee totally flubbed the sell on Lynns drop toehold takedown, Lynns ability to sell made Lee look a lot better than he probably is though. The stretch on Lynn midmatch slowed down the match at exactly the wrong time (even the fans could tell and started a "lets go Jerry" chant) but Lee tried several different weardown holds which weren't very sensible with only 8 minutes left on air.

Lee kicked out of a rollover and Lynn kicked out of a nice sit-out piledriver, Lynn made a nice backdrop outside of the ring and Lee caught him when Lynn tried a cross body block outside the ring earning himself a post in the back. Lee had a bearhug on Lynn (so yet ANOTHER weardown move and there was less than 5 minutes of airtime left?) then drove him into the turnbuckles, Lee missed a big boot and colour sold that he crotched himself (Under the knee? F**k off!) but it was glaringly obvious he hadn't. Lynn hit a series of clotheslines and Lee happily sold a nice headscissors. Lynn made nice flip dive out of the ring & Lee looked very winded as he came back into the ring, Lee kicked out of the TKO (selling it very well though) but Lee appeared to flub the Butterfly Superplex (which Lynn kicked out of). Lynn took the eventual win off an Inside Cradle but it was a scrappy finish to a match that wasn't really all that good.

Its pretty clear the 25 minute Main Event really isn't working as everyone to date has failed to fill that amount of time with wrestling. Perhaps ROH should have a rethink and shorten the last match to 15 minutes and add another 10 minute time limit match to each card. I'd sooner see shorter matches where they worked all the time than long matches with pretty much f**k all action apart from the dying minutes. The colour guys and their ability to sell is utter s**t and if their going to call moves can they at least not call moves when its obvious they either don't make contact or aren't hitting where they say they are. Ideally ROH need to be showing different workers each week and rotate everyone until the entire roster (or at least everyone who is fit to wrestle) has appeared on tv and only then start giving people a 2nd run on tv.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 9th Apr 09 reviewed

Show opens with the MEM coming out to have a chat with Jeff Jarrett. TNA reports last weeks Impact got the highest audience figures to date which is one in the eye to all those who say the show is losing viewers.
Sheik Abdul Bashir (with Kiyoshi & No Limit) vs Suicide. This was a non-title match and its still Chris Daniels inside the costume subbing for Kaz who is still recovering from an injury. Weak match with no decent spots, Bashir took the win after nailing Suicide with the title whilst one of No Limit distracted the ref.
Backstage segment with Rhino and "Petty Officer 3rd Class Jesse Neal" (actually a graduate of the Team 3D Wrestling Academy according to 411Mania.com) who did a ring introduction at the Destination X PPV talking about how Neal wants to become a wrestler, The Beautiful People attack Raisha Saeed backstage and give her a haircut. Rough Cut Segment about the Team 3D Wrestling Academy. Interview with Sting. Interview with Abyss. Mick Foley speaks. Booker T talks about how he feels.
Lethal Lockdown Advantage Challenge Round 2 - Booker T vs Samoa Joe. This was pretty much all Joe and really as such was his 1st real actual match since coming back to TNA. Joe took the win off a simple powerslam which put the competition at 1 win each.
Video segment of ODB & Cody Deaner at the fair (the rides on the Universal Studios lot where Impact is filmed).
Scott Steiner (with Kevin Nash) vs James Storm (with Robert Roode) - Team 3D were at the colour desk for this one, it was pretty even and actually clean until Roode was about to hit the Super Kick and Nash hit him with the steel pipe from outside the ring. The ref called for the bell so I guess this had gone to Storm by DQ on outside interference. Roode came in to save Storm from a beatdown off Steiner with the pipe and Team 3D intervened to save Storm and Roode.
Handicap Knockout Match - Awesome Kong vs Madison Rayne & Velvet Sky (with Angelina Love), Kong powered out of a DDT attempt by Sky & Rayne made a very scrappy looking Missile Dropkick. Kong had Sky up for the Awesome Bomb but Rayne helped with a push which allowed Sky to hook the leg but Kong powered it over to reverse it for the win. Rayne, Love & Sky tried to give Kong a haircut but Taylor Wilde made the save.
First Blood Handicap Match New Japan Junior Tagteam Title Match - The Motorcity Machine Guns vs Mick Foley with Special Enforcer Sting. I guess this is what Foley meant then, turning the handicap match into a title match for The Guns. This was an average match at best, for some unexplained reason Sting took out Chris Sabin with a nice DDT outside the ring. Foley hit Shelley with the Mandible Claw which drew blood but refused to take the win and went into the ring with the barbed wire baseball bat, Foley started to use the bat but Sting beaned him with a chair from outside the ring, Foley bladed very quickly off camera and the ref called for the bell and The Motorcity Machine Guns took the win & retained their title. Foley & Sting fought post match and Security broke it up several times as they whaled on each other.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Wrestlemania 25, 5th April 2009 reviewed

Another year and another Wrestlemania, the views contained within are my own, I have been known to swear and use colourful adjectives so if such language is likely to offend or you don't like my views then don't read the review.
Money In The Bank Ladder Match - CM Punk vs Mark Henry vs MVP vs Finlay (with Hornswoggle) vs Shelton Benjamin vs Kofi Kingston vs Christian vs Kane. Same stipulations as last year, winner gets a match for any title on any day anywhere within the next year. I assume for some technical reason MVP's pyro failed to fire hence his look of confusion before he came to the ring, if this match seems slightly familiar from last year its because Punk & Benjamin were in it then as well so they clearly aren't trusted to work any other kind of 'Mania match? So yet again for another year WWE decided to openly flaunt belts (Such as MVP's US Championship belt) that weren't up for grabs, did they not get it last year when they were told it was an incredibly bad idea?
Before the bell even rang the show was already 13 1/2 minutes old (time wasted that they could have already been having the 1st match) and you knew neither Kane nor Henry were going to be getting involved in much ladder work here due to their size. Ladders came into play early with Benjamin & Christian using one to ram Henry then Kane, Kingston jumped it and dropkicked the ladder into them before hitting a nice double legdrop across the ladder onto Benjamin & Christian, both Kane & Henry started climbing a ladder and predictably enough they were both beat down until they climbed off.
We had a nice fall by everyone when Kane & Henry tipped a ladder each and then Kane took a surprise fall off a ladder curtesy of Henry. Benjamin made an amazing Swanton off a ladder outside the ring which was pretty risky but got the crowd chanting "holy s**t!", Henry slammed Kingston back 1st onto a ladder which was well sold. Christian hit Punk with the Unprettier off a ladder and Benjamin totally flubbed an attempt of a sunset flip or hurricanrana on the ladder that probably hurt both him and MVP but was still able to powerbomb MVP over the top rope onto a few superstars outside the ring, Kane chokeslammed Christian from the ladder and CM Punk took the eventual win. Rating - 8/10 easily, great way to kick off this years 'Mania.
Music from Kid Rock to kill time to allow clean up of ladders in the ring.
25 Diva Miss Wrestlemania Battle Royal - Nobody was introduced so don't bother asking who was involved, if they'd not bothered with Kid Rock they could have actually introduced everyone in this match. A weird Battle Royal Stipulation stated they didn't have to go over the top rope, merely out of the ring to the floor to be eliminated. Gail Kim made a wicked flub on her Hurricanrana going head 1st into the apron and to add insult to injury whoever she did it to fell on top of her on the floor. Eventual winner was Santina AKA Santino Marella in really bad drag who by doing that gimmick totally ruined ANY credibility this match might have had. Rating - 3/10 due to stupid gimmick finish that ruined some of the excellent and painful bumps some of the real women took.
3 On 1 Handicap Elimination Match - Chris Jericho vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (who was inducted into the Hall Of Fame this year), Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka & Rowdy Roddy Piper (with Ric Flair). For those who didn't hear him Piper clearly shouted "Get the f**k out" at Snuka & Steamboat right at the bell, Piper managed to flub his over the rope clothesline by getting his wrist caught but still managed to sell it as the true professional he is. Piper totally got into character even calling Jericho a "little piece of s**t". Snuka came in for a few chops but then Steamboat came in with the flying axehandle into a well sold armdrag, Snuka came back in but was eliminated after tapping out of The Walls Of Jericho.
Jericho gave Steamboat a kick which sent him out of the ring and Piper started a beatdown (they bleeped him calling Jericho a "motherf**ker") and hit the sleeperhold which Jericho used the ropes to get out of and hit a nice Enzuigiri to pin Piper and eliminate him leaving only Steamboat who came in to get a near fall off a great flying cross bodyblock. Steamboat bumped well off a stiff looking clothesline (so much for his bad back then?) and made another great cross bodyblock over the top rope, Steamboat sold a great running bulldog off Jericho who missed the Lionsault when Steamboat moved. Jericho kicked out of a good scoop slam off Steamboat who reversed The Walls Of Jericho into an inside cradle that Jericho kicked out of after a 2 count but Jericho took the win off the Codebreaker which he also hit on Ric Flair after the match. Jericho called out Mickey Rourke to come and apologise and he came in the ring and they faced off with a bit of boxing (Rourke has fought professionally before and won) but Rourke floored Jericho with a nice left (they said left hook but it looked more like a rabbit punch to me). Rating - 6/10 mainly for Piper & Steamboat.
Extreme Rules Match - Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy. Its simple, no count outs, no DQ, win by pin or submission only. Matt still looks fat and Jeff still seems to be channelling the Insane Clown Posse. Was it just me or was Matt cut open REAL early on the hairline above his right eye? Highlights of the match had to be Jeff frogsplashing off the top turnbuckle through 2 tables and a chair onto Matt, Jeff leapfrogging off the big ladder to miss a legdrop but Matt Hardy took the win off a Twist Of Fate with a chair. Rating - got to be 10/10 for Jeff's mad skills.
Intercontinental Championship - John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) vs Rey Mysterio. Rey was channelling Doink The Clown for some reason? Certainly nothing like Heath Ledger which is probably the idea they were going with but it failed big time. JBL got cheap shots in before the bell rang but Rey hit an Enzuigiri, a dropkick, a 619 & a splash which lead to a pin with Mysterio taking the win and the title in less than 20 seconds from the bell and this match was a bigger joke than Kane vs Chavo for the ECW title last year. Rating - Zero, utter farce. They may as well have just p***sed on the title on air, it would have meant the exact same thing. I know JBL had to drop the strap but that wasn't the way it should have been done and certainly not on WWE's biggest PPV of the year. Shows how little Vince values both his workers and his titles.
Shawn Michaels vs The Undertaker - Whilst HBK came from the sky on a cherrypicker in his intro Undertaker came up from the floor on an elevating platform. From the bell this wasn't much more than a brawl, Taker went old school and walked the ropes and HBK started working Takers knee which led to a figure 4 leglock from HBK. Taker brawled his way out of it and HBK tried a side headlock for a submission (exactly what this already slow match really didn't need), Taker countered it with a side slam & they went back to brawling so the match returned to square one again. I assume the "cameraman" Taker suicide dived onto was some jobber from developmental?
Seems HBK didn't do a very good job and Taker might have gone head 1st into the mat but it was hard to tell if that was a work or not. Taker definately cut his face hitting that camera (you could see it on his cheek by his ear) and HBK kicked out of a chokeslam then Taker kicked out from Sweet Chin Music, HBK countered then kicked out of The Last Ride. Amazingly HBK also kicked out of The Tombstone and countered a slam into a DDT, Michaels hit a good flying elbow & hit Sweet Chin Music which Taker kicked out of again. Both guys went back to brawling so yet again back to square 1 we went and the announce table totally miscalled HBK hitting a knee lift by saying it was use of the feet again. HBK went for a reverse Moonsault but The Undertaker caught him & hit another Tombstone to take the win and continue his undefeated Wrestlemania streak which is now 17 wins and no losses. Rating 8/10, wasn't a perfect score due to the possible cameraman flub, being too long by about 10 minutes and going back to the brawling twice which really wasn't necessary.
Vickie Guerrero is pushed to the ring by Chavo. I thought this wheelchair gimmick had been exposed MONTHS ago as totally fake and discontinued as a really bad idea?
World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match - Edge vs The Big Show vs John Cena. Cena's entrance was pretty cool with his army of lookalikes all dressed in his ring gear (I was actually convinced that was Cena leading them down the ramp so they sure suckered me), the rumours are that titles are going to be reunified so it's possible this belt might not exist in the very near future which is no biggie to WWE as its the old WCW Heavyweight title anyway.
The colour guys said about Vickie "her husband Edge" so I assume I missed a kayfabe wedding at some point then? Cena made a nice top turnbuckle legdrop on Big Show who had to move so it'd hit him however this match became a joke once Big Show was tied up in the ropes as Edge speared Vickie (Chavo broke her fall so she doesn't really know how to bump hard) and Cena & Edge hit a double clothesline which slowed the match down and turned it into more of a farce than it already was.
Edge speared Big Show through a barrier into the crowd so a few people got their monies worth at least by getting up close and personal with the action but Cena took the eventual after hitting the FU on Big Show then FU'ing Edge onto the Big Show and making the pin to take the title. Rating - 5/10 and generous at that mainly for work from Edge & Cena.
This years Hall Of Famers are introduced - Terry & Dory Funk Jr, Cowboy Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erich Family (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat & Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Sell-out Attendance announced as 72,744. Overly long video package recapping events leading up to tonights main event.
WWE Championship - Randy Orton vs HHH. Stipulations are if the champ is DQ'd or counted out he loses the title and by the time the bell rang this match was only going to run for 29 minutes at best as thats all the air time they had left. This started out as a brawl and both guys hit their finishers in the opening few minutes which pretty much left them nowhere to go but down and back to brawling. Bumping the colour desk cameraman for the 2nd time tonight showed that WWE are running out of match ideas, even watching this match at 4x speed it was still slow so it must have been truly awful to watch live with almost no high spots at all (it actually bored me that much I had time to get annoyed at the bald guy with the beard & glasses in the front row who consistently stood up during every match on the card and am amazed the people behind him didn't punch his lights out for blocking their view). The ref bump was dull & predictable and allowed HHH to punt Orton in the head & nail him with the sledgehammer but HHH took the eventual win off the Pedigree. Rating 2/10 and it was generous at that, this was piss poor and I wouldn't have given it away for free on TV let alone have it as the main event on the biggest PPV of the WWE year.
I get the feeling Undertaker finished his match with a concussion after his bad fall and I'd wager Gail Kim near knocked herself out with that Hurricanrana flub too. It's pretty likely both Shelton Benjamin & MVP also hurt themselves after the ladder flub and MVP looked to have been powerbombed almost into the announce desk during the MITB match. Apparently Tag Titles were contested as a dark match which just goes to further reinforce exactly how little regard WWE has for titles or holders.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

ROH Wrestling 4th Apr 09 reviewed

Show opens with breaking news that Jerry Lynn won the ROH Heavyweight title off Nigel McGuinness (according to scuttlebutt it was due to McGuinness needing time off due to an arm injury)

Sterling James Keenan vs Erick Stevens - Keenan seemed fairly happy to get cheap heat as a heel and Stevens was certainly putting him over with a decent enough sell. Stevens got a 2nd wind and made a few average moves before getting DDT'd. Keenan kicked out of a nice spinning powerslam but Stevens made the win off a German Suplex into a Lariat but his success came from the Doctor Bomb.

Tag Match - Up In Smoke (Cheech & Cloudy) vs Dark City Fight Club (Kory Chavis & Jon Davis). Fight Club were all about power & the clear heels here, Cheech & Cloudy sold the beatdown but also made the good aerial & high flying moves. Fight Club took a pretty quick win but really didn't do much at all to be honest.

Chris Hero (with Larry Sweeney) vs Necro Butcher. I know Necro Butcher mainly by reputation but also from his appearance in a seriously hardcore match in the movie "The Wrestler". Hero also brought Sara Del Rey to the ring with him and for a hardcore wrestler Necro was really pulling his punches on Hero and it was very obvious he was too. Necro kicked out of a schoolboy roll-up and was beaten down outside the ring by Sweeney & Del Rey.

Hero's backdrop hit nothing but floor mat and the crowd were chanting "fuck you Hero" as Necro kicked out of a pin after a forearm shot, Heros best move of the match was the blockbuster (top turnbuckle flipping snap neck breaker ddt combo) and Necro made his best move which was a chair bodyslam (onto the concrete) which Hero sold pretty well and Hero took the win off a loaded elbowpad shot.

Austin Aries vs Bryan Danielson - After screwing around for a while these 2 finally shook hands and got started and the match started out slow before Aries hit a few nice armdrags. The crowd were chanting something (possibly Austin sucks?) at Aries as they really don't like him. Danielson showed some nice holds & reverses and looks very technically sound indeed, this is only my 2nd time seeing him in action and this is the best I've seen him work.

Seeing the ref push Aries arms off the rope to break a hold quite surprised me (I'm not used to refs getting so physically involved to break holds when they aren't bumping in the match), Aries best move was suplexing Danielson over the top rope and out to the floor. I think Danielsons best move was the knee to the face off the apron, this match was well paced (unlike the main events of the previous 2 weeks) and Danielson took the eventual win off a submission hold.

Friday, April 3, 2009

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 2nd Apr 09 reviewed

Show opens with Jeff Jarrett telling you who will be Captain in place of Samoa Joe and it will be AJ Styles. Styles turns down the job saying he'll be on the team but it should be Jarrett as Captain. Scott Steiner comes out to give Jeff a history lesson & talk about friendship.
8 Man Tag Match - Lethal Consequences & LAX vs Kiyoshi, No Limits & Sheik Abdul Bashir. Homicide & Bashir started this off, this wasn't a great match with much worth mentioning. Bashir took the win off a DDT on Creed.
Tag Match - MEM Security (Big Rocco & Sally Boy) vs Team 3D. Due to a distraction by Beer Money at the colour desk Rocco & Sal jumped 3D from behind before the bell taking the advantage. Not a great match by anyones standards, Team 3D took the win with a 3D on Sal. Beer Money saved Team 3D from a post match beatdown.
Kurt Angle calls out Sting to offer an apology. Daffney FINALLY makes her return as herself on the couch of Dr Stevie.
Madison Rayne (with The Beautiful People) vs Taylor Wilde. Not a great match, Mike Tenay managed to get Taylor Wildes name wrong calling her Madison Rayne then correcting himself. Wilde hit a nice bridging suplex for a near fall and took the win off a weird single leg roll up. Wilde bolted from the ring to avoid the promised haircut but got beaten down in the backstage area then had the haircut.
Lethal Lockdown Advantage Challenge Round 1 - Scott Steiner vs AJ Styles. Basically the object here is to get the advantage of 1st Team into the cage at the Lockdown PPV so your team always has the numbers advantage. The match was pretty much all Styles and his good moves with Steiner selling and kicking out of them, the ref bump was c**p and Angle ran down to give Steiner a chair whilst the ref was "out", Steiner took the win by DDT'ing Styles into the chair when Jarrett had him distracted. Weak match.
Sting vs Samoa Joe - This was always going to be short and c**p with less than 6 minutes of airtime and no title on the line. Joe kicked out of a Scorpion Leglock and was DQ'd by the ref for throwing him out of the way but still nailed Sting with the Muscle Buster and the rear naked choke hold, Booker T made the save but Joe ended the show by kidnapping Sharmell.