Caveat:- I do NOT watch WWE programming, I am unaware of any current storyline or who are faces or heels. This review does contain swearing, if that might offend you then stop reading now or you've no-one to blame except yourself.
Street Fight (No Count outs or DQ, win by pin or submission only), HHH vs Sheamus - Trips had his intro then failed to show & we cut to him & Sheamus already going at it backstage, Trips took a couple of steel pipe shots before Teddy Long finally got him away. No finish as the match never started so no result either.
Miz & The Big Show come out & shoot their mouths until Teddy Long cuts them off by booking them against a team of his choosing for a future shot at the Unified Tag titles. For continuing to run his (The Miz) mouth Long books them against 3 teams there and then.
Miz & The Big Show vs R-Truth & John Morrison - Big Show & The Miz are calling themselves ShowMiz, P**s poor bout with an even worse call, Morrison had Big Show in a Headscissors & Show was waving like he was tapping out yet for some bulls**t kayfabe reason the ref awarded the match to ShowMiz on a DQ for no reason that was explained.
Miz & The Big Show vs MVP & Mark Henry - Another piss poor match, MVP had it won off the Playmaker when Big Show hit him allowing The Miz to take the pin for an easy win.
Miz & The Big Show vs The Hart Dynasty (with Natalya & Brett Hart) - Over in seconds after Smith got a pin following the Hart Attack (better known as The Doomsday Device) meaning The Hart Dynasty earn themselves a shot at the Unified Tag Titles.
CM Punk (with Serena & Luke Gallows) vs Rey Mysterio - If Punk loses he gets his head shaved. Another p**s poor match that was mostly Mysterio, Serena & Gallows were sent back to the locker room after interfering but someone under the ring distracted the ref by throwing a chair into the ring long enough to hit a Reverse Powerbomb on Mysterio allowing Punk to take the easy win off the Go To Sleep.
Strap Match (actually a 4 Corners match), Shad Gaspard vs JTG - Won by JTG, completely shit.
World Heavyweight Championship Match, Jack Swagger vs Randy Orton - No Count outs or DQ, win by pin or submission only. Frankly its f**king hysterical how much of a big deal WWE make about holding this title considering it was once the most reviled belt in WWF history as the former WCW world heavyweight title. The only nods to extreme in the match were the use of a garbage can, Swagger taking a bump on the ring steps & Orton taking a bump onto a chair which bent it. Swagger took the win off a Gut Wrench Power Bomb to retain his title.
Street Fight (No Count outs or DQ, win by pin or submission only), HHH vs Sheamus - This time Sheamus came out 1st insisting the ref raise his hand if Trips was unable to show but obviously he came out anyway. Trips took this to the floor early hoping to beat Sheamus down, this was pretty s*t to be honest even though Trips worked "injured" and sold that pretty well, I'm not sure if him fucking up the DDT was kayfabe or deliberate it was hard to tell. Sheamus wasn't fully willing to sell the Drop Toe Hold into the ring steps (blame the badly positioned cameraman for that s**tty no-sell there) but he did sell the Kendo Stick shot, Sheamus took the eventual win.
Extreme Makeover Match for the Womens Championship, Michelle McCool (with Vicky Guererro & Layla) vs Beth Phoenix - McCool used hairspray & an ironing board, I assume the flub with the Iron was on purpose & I'd love the thank the replay team for totally no-selling the colour desk telling us McCools head hit the table when it clearly doesnt in the replay. Phoenix took a nice top rope bump onto 2 ironing boards & took the win off the Glam Slam to win the title.
Steel Cage Match, Edge vs Chris Jericho - Note the stipulations "Victory can be achieved by pinfall, submission or escaping the cage". Jericho clearly WINS the match by escaping the cage @9.26 & to the colour guy stating "he's gotta get down to the floor" I'm afraid thats sheer kayfabe bulls**t on your part mate, no such rule was stated at the start. Edge is declared the winner off The Spear 11 minutes later. F**K OFF.
Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship, Batista vs John Cena - Stipulations were announced as follows but after the last match its not like anyone is going to believe them for a f**king second:- No Countout, No DQ, No pinfalls or submissions, your opponant MUST stay down for a full 10 count for you to win. Erm, did one of the colour guys use Batistas real name? No Kayfabe? "Not only does it injure Dave" WHOOPS! You meant Batista you f**king rookie retard. Seems the ref didnt know how to do his job either by leaving the ring to count Batista, dont the rules say you have a 10 count to make it back INTO the ring or did this c**t get his refs shirt as a prize in a box of f**king cereal? Cena gets a truly awful win after taping Batistas feet together around a ring post with Duct Tape to retain his title.
If this excuse of a PPV is what passes for Extreme these days then WWE are not long for this world. Quite frankly I've had more extreme s**ts than this. Way to s**t on all your loyal fans WWE.
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