Google Chrome - A Warning!

There are a few things it might be worth knowing about Google Chrome.
Even if you are only running 1 browser window with no tabs open there are 3 (count them in program manager like I did!) versions of chrome.exe all running at once. And don't think you can get clever and close one of them because closing ANY of them will kill your current browser.

Chrome can and WILL overload your RAM and virtual memory too, especially if you are a player of Flash and SWF games on sites like Kongregate. Today I almost crashed my machine playing Penguinz, Chrome decided it wanted 1.06 gigs (yes, GIGS!) worth of virtual memory to play the game making it so slow it almost stopped. It even requested my full 2 gigs of RAM to try and use as virtual memory. I have now stopped using it until they rewrite the code so when you load 1 browser window you only get 1 instance of chrome.exe running. It also needs to learn how to process memory better.

So be warned! Google Chrome is not as great as its made out to be!

ROH Wrestling 28th Mar 09 reviewed

Eddie Edwards (with Larry Sweeney) vs Kevin Steen. Steen is one half of the current ROH tag champions so he's no slouch, this started in a fairly scrappy way but picked up after Steen hit a nice drop toehold & an excellent front flip legdrop that looked great. Edwards came back with a vengance (best move he made was the front face slam), Steen came back after a low blow with a good belly to belly overhead suplex but sold a nice kick to the head & Steen took the eventual win off a Package Piledriver. Very good match, nicely paced apart from the poor start.

Daizee Haze vs Sara Del Rey (with Larry Sweeney) - This is my 3rd time seeing Haze who has previously worked on TNA once (Impact 1st May 08 jobbing to Cheerleader Melissa) & my 2nd time seeing Del Rey (who lost to Haze in a 3 way with Lacey at the 08 Rising Above ROH PPV) so these 2 do have a bit of history. Del Rey was on top initially but Haze made a nice headscissors (I had the feeling it was flubbed by Del Rey due to lack of trust), Haze did flub a dive onto Del Rey who was also out of position for the catch (too far away) & it was quite funny that one of the announcers wasn't able to identify a simple backbreaker.

Haze was selling nicely on the whole but didn't do a very good sell in the Torture Rack off Del Rey, she did however hit a great looking tilt-a-whirl slam, I'm not too sure what the front face slam was but it looked good (like a ddt almost but not quite), the Capo kick off Del Rey would have looked a LOT better if we hadn't been on the overhead camera which totally no-sold what would have otherwise been an awesome looking move and Del Rey took the eventual win off The Royal Butterfly. A fairly decent match with a few flubs but not bad at all.

Alex Payne vs Claudio Castagnoli - I've seen Castagnoli once before against Chris Hero on their 08 Rising Above PPV, he was an ok worker there. Payne had the better start making a couple of nice flip leverage moves which Castagnoli sold well and seemed more than willing to go with. Payne as both the smaller and lighter guy sold the wrong end of a beatdown pretty well and kicked out after a big boot to the head.

Payne got a second wind and hit Castagnoli with a bulldog, Castagnoli came back with a pop-up European Uppercut (which looked bloody awful as if Payne wanted no part of it) before taking the win off the Ricola Bomb. So-so match that Payne really supplied most of the entertainment for.

Jay Briscoe vs Nigel McGuinness - I've seen Briscoe tagging a few times (don't let his name fool you, his real surname is actually Pugh) with his brother & I last saw McGuinness defending his title against Austin Aries in an extremely scrappy match so my hopes weren't really up here. This match was due to be 22 minutes long or there abouts and started very slowly with holds, reversals and a fair bit of mat work so I feared this would be a repeat of last weeks main event where nothing happened until the last few minutes then the ref would have to tell one of the guys to win. Sadly that was exactly the case and most of the decent action came in the final 4 minutes,

Briscoe hit a nice across the ring top rope legdrop but McGuinness took the win out of nowhere off the Jawbreaker Lariat (although I'm not completely sure what he was doing in the ropes before hand). A fairly boring and overly long match with not enough action that wasn't worthy of main event status.

This is ROH's 2nd week on TV and yet again their main event was pretty much utter shit and overshadowed by better (and shorter) matches earlier in the card. If they are going to keep their TV deal they will have to shorten their main event (10 minutes tops) as they struggle to pace these 20 minute matches and they are all far too slow with almost no action at the start with everything happening in the final few minutes. We're yet to see any titles defended which would be a good idea but generally the show was ok.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 26th Mar 09 reviewed

Show opens with Jim Cornette telling us about a Cage Gauntlet match coming up later. The MEM come out to yack & Kurt Angle thinks he's The Rock. Jeff Jarrett comes out tell Angle he's in the match. Backstage c**p from The MEM.

X Division Championship - Kiyoshi (with No Limit) vs Suicide. It's still Chris Daniels inside the Suicide costume , I assume they were giving Suicide T-shirts away for free as almost all the crowd behind the camera were wearing one. This was a nicely paced very decent looking match, Suicide spent most of it selling the wrong end of a beatdown from Kiyoshi who had a very short time on the losing end of a run after missing a splash but was soon back on top again. After dealing with No Limit by using Kiyoshi as a battering ram Suicide took the win off the Suicide Solution.

Knockout Tag Match - Raisha Saeed & Awesome Kong vs The Beautiful People (with Madison Rayne). Sky & Saeed kicked this one off and it looks like Sky has been getting herself some serious practice. Love faced off with Kong and Sky failed to make a save taking an extremely scrappy looking chokeslam off Kong (I think that was more Sky not selling the fall which looked shite) tagging in Saeed who made a very weird looking Thesz press and Love made what looked to be her 1st ever spinning neckbreaker which looked very unpracticed and was executed too slowly to look effective. Love sold a nice looking Scoop Slam, Kong came in to chase out Sky which allowed Love to hit Saeed with the Lights Out to take the win in a match that was pretty scrappy in places. Kong fought her way out of a post match haircut.

Sting comes out to ask Mick Foley about the steel chair incident last week who also comes out to explain his actions.

Captains 6 Sides Of Steel Gauntlet Match - Basically this is a standard gauntlet match where 2 guys start off and someone new comes in every 2 minutes, you go out by pinfall or submission and the last 2 men left will be Team Captains for 6 Sides Of Steel at the Lockdown PPV. Abyss & AJ Styles were the 1st 2 guys in and next in was Alex Shelley followed in by Jay Lethal 2 minutes later. Chris Sabin entered during a commercial break & Matt Morgan was next in after him who was 1st to be elimiminated off a Pele from Styles into a Black Hole Slam from Abyss when they returned to live tv. In next was Homicide and in next was Scott Steiner and during the commercial break Chris Sabin eliminated Homicide, Consequences Creed entered the match and when they came back to live action Rhino was next to enter. In next was Jeff Jarrett and its nice to see him getting back into some sort of stable series of ring appearances since the death of his wife.

Jarrett was jumped outside the ring by Kurt Angle before he even got a chance to enter the cage hitting him in the arm with a chair. As Jarrett was being seen to by the medics Naito of No Limit came into the match and Jay Lethal eliminated Alex Shelley with the Lethal Combination. Next to enter was Kurt Angle but if he'd already interfered in the match before his spot shouldn't he already have been DQ'd for using a weapon? Angle eliminated Consequences Creed with the Ankle Lock in his opening 5 seconds then eliminating Chris Sabin off the Angle Slam then eliminating Jay Lethal also off the Angle Slam, we have yet another commercial break during which Scott Steiner eliminated Naito and Shane Sewell entered the match only to be eliminated by Kurt Angle off the Angle Slam.

Next in was Sheik Abdul Bashir followed in by Booker T who eliminated AJ Styles with the Book End but Rhino eliminated Booker with the Gore a few moments later, next in was Yujiro for No Limit as Angle eliminated Bashir off the Angle Slam and next in was Eric Young as both Steiner and Angle eliminated Abyss by pinning him together. Angle eliminated Young off the Angle Slam and Ref Earl Hebner was seriously out of position for that count having to run full across the ring and change position midcount too. Rhino eliminated Yuriro off a Gore (which was pretty stupid, leaving him no help against Angle & Steiner) and was eliminated by Angle off an Angle Slam (which he WAY oversold on) for his trouble, the penultimate guy in was Hernandez who was eliminated by Kurt Angle off the Angle Slam.

Steiner had bladed himself whilst we were distracted by Angle pinning Hernandez as we knew the last guy in was Samoa Joe and they wanted to play up the fact that Joe was the one who had caused that cut 2 weeks ago, instead they made a total swerve and Jim Cornette allowed Jeff Jarrett his shot as he had never actually entered the cage before Angle injured him. After Angle hit Steiner with a clothesline that Jarrett had ducked Angle managed to kick out of a pin but Jarrett eliminated Steiner off the Stroke. Steiner stopped a 3 count on Angle who eliminated Jarrett off the Angle Slam.

Finally Samoa Joe came out (Much to the surprise of Don West but Mike Tenay explained that Jarrett had never entered the match and had come down when Joe was supposed to come out as the final guy) Joe stood up from his Angle Slam and Samoa Joe eliminated Angle off the Muscle Buster so Samoa Joe & Kurt Angle will be the Captains for Lockdown.

Angles rant that he eliminated Jarrett 3 times is utter s**t, he didn't eliminate Jarrett outside the ring as he wasn't legal in the match & neither did he pin him outside the ring either.

WWE Smackdown 20th Mar 09 (500th Episode) reviewed

I know my views aren't always welcome so read this if you want to and don't if you don't.

Just don't bitch about it because you were already warned not to read it if you don't like what I have to say.

Show opens with an overly long vid catching us up on events between HHH & Randy Orton.

HHH vs Vladimir Kozlov. Before Kozlov was even introduced Trips spent over 6 minutes yacking on the mic building up more storyline c**p. The match itself was barely 4 minutes old when WWE took their 1st commercial break, very bad if they couldn't time that to avoid either Trips' rant or Kozlovs intro. VERY dull match, Kozlov countered the Pedigree but HHH took the eventual win off The Pedigree showing how much of a 1 trick pony he truly is doing the same moves and still has the same intro he did from 10 yrs ago when Smackdown started. Shows how stale he is, only over by f**king the bosses daughter.

Video Recap of events on RAW. This is Smackdown. WTF do we want a recap of RAW for?
Excessively long Wrestlemania Vid, stinks of "we have f**k all talent to fill tonights show" to me.

US Championship Match, MVP vs Shelton Benjamin. Ah, a belt that means absolutely f**k all, the old WCW US Television title long since rebranded but it still looks the same. Not a bad match to be honest, these guys are both very talented but its just a shame they are competing for a belt that has zero prestige. MVP took the eventual win for the belt.

Backstage c**p between Vickie & Edge, has she gotten fatter during the month I haven't been watching for?

Shawn Michaels vs Kane - Its really funny that after more than 10 yrs WWE is STILL persisting in calling Michaels the "Heart Break Kid" when at his age he's far more likely to be a "Hip Broke Krip", this match actually had 2 commercial breaks during it (one before Kane came down and 1 during the match itself so I wondered if the network was trying to tell them they were bored), Michaels took the eventual win off Sweet Chin Music so he's still running the same gimmick and moves he was ten yrs ago too. After having seen Jerry Lynn who is 2 yrs older than Shawn have a really good match on ROH this week I think Shawn is WAY overdue hanging up his boots for good.

Extreme Rules Match - Jeff Hardy vs Brian Kendrick. Hardy looked more like a member of ICP or was he going for the Heath Ledger Joker look and Kendrick looked like he'd been in the WWE dressing up box and had found Steve Austins old "Ring Master" costume as well as bringing Ezekiel Jackson to the ring who still looks like Bad News Brown. Hardy owned the match from the bell & the colour desk explained that "Extreme Rules" meant no count-out or DQ, in my day we called that a "Hardcore Match" but thats a term WWE aren't comfortable with now they are an "Entertainment" company. Jackson was removed from the equation after numerous chairshots from Hardy who appeared to be channeling Sabu in sections of this match and WWE fans need to know over at TNA he was like this in EVERY match and Hardy took the win after a Twist Of Fate into a chair followed by the Swanton Bomb. Quite a decent match, at least Jeff Hardy didn't look like WWE are holding him down creatively.

The Undertaker vs JBL - Taker may still be running the same gimmick he used 10 yrs ago but boy can he work it the right way. This match started quick but soon got slow and yes they took another commercial break during an active match (could they not have done it during Takers rant on the mic or JBL's intro?), I'm not exactly sure who thought putting these 2 guys together was going to be an interesting match but it was fairly dull most of the time with The Undertaker getting the win off his submission move which is a very boring finish indeed.

The Big Show calls out Edge. Fat Vickie butts in, no-one cares about this c***py storyline but I guess they had to kill the last 8 minutes of airtime somehow, sending out John Cena to waffle and kill the last 4 minutes of tv time by stirring up an already c**p storyline. Eddie must be turning in his f**king grave. ROH's 51 minuted made this look very bad indeed. Time to set the wrestlers free WWE, let them work and not be bound by storyline c**p that fills airtime where they really should be in the ring wrestling.

ROH Wrestling 21st Mar 09 reviewed

Delirious vs Jerry Lynn. I liked the little graphics that told you a bit about each wrestler and their moves & previous associations which helped get you into the action that much quicker by being aware of their ROH backgrounds, I'd assume most wrestling fans would know Lynn for his ECW & TNA background. Lynn is as good today as he ever was making a nicer headscissors into a backbreaker and the match was mainly Lynn on top with Delirious bumping & selling well with Lynn taking a good win off the cradle piledriver. Very good quality match to kick off the show, decent mix of aerial and matwork and not too long either.

Sami Callihan vs Kenny King. Well neither of these guys were known to me so it was nice to call a match like this, both these guys looked a bit rough around the edges. They started out working a fair bit of technical mat wrestling, King looked the better of the 2 but the match was a bit too slow in its pace for my liking. King made a nice Enzuigiri to the head into a spinebuster and tried 2 positions for pinning and settled on the 2nd for a 2 count only. Callihan had a little success midmatch making a nice inverted DDT style slam but King took the eventual win off The Coronation. Neither of these guys really looked fully ready for tv and both 2nd guessed themselves several times, perhaps a bit more training is required before working on tv again?

Video detailing a potted history of ROH (showing Samoa Joe, Abyss & Christopher Daniels amongst its various alumni who have gone on to bigger things).

Rhett Titus vs Brent Albright - I couldn't tell if Titus was styling himself after Rick Martel, Rick Rude or HBK or a little of all 3 which was my guess. Titus sold a nice Splash Mountain (basically a Razors Edge or Gringo Killer for the WWE & TNA fans) and Albright hit a nice slingshot cross bodyblock out of the ring onto Titus which was the 1st real high risk move of the show. Fans were vocally behind Albright as the match was starting to slow down & Albright kicked out of a pin after a dropkick but made a great half-nelson suplex and took the win off The Crowbar submission hold. A decent enough match although slow in places.

Jimmy Jacobs vs Tyler Black - I've seen these guys as tag partners but never in singles opposite each other so this should be an interesting match, Black & Jacobs were both part of a faction called Age Of The Fall and held the ROH Tag Titles having won them off the extremely talented Brisco Brothers. This match started off at a very slow pace indeed which shouldn't have really surprised me as it was the last match on the card and they'd started with over 30 minutes left on air.

Jacobs was on top from the start for a fair old while until Black got a nice 2nd wind and really turned things around. Both Black & Jacobs started to pull a few aerials as we got down to the last few minutes, I wondered how they were going to finish but Black pulled a wear down move (which is fine if you've got the time but a f**king silly idea when you only have 2 mins left on air) and missed a superkick that Jacobs reversed into a schoolboy roll-up that Black barely kicked out of it but Black took the eventual win off a bridging suplex out of nowhere. Not a great match, they didn't know how to pace it & had to rush the finish.

Thoughts on the show in general - Camera work & Lighting was good, referees were good, fair & very audible which I found quite interesting to be able to hear their calls during the matches. The colour guys could use some work, I'd bin the backstage guy completely but it was good that ROH actually started their TV run as a fully HD show which is no mean feat. They had 4 fairly ok matches in an hour which TNA struggle to do in 2 hours and WWE also struggles to do on Smackdown, RAW & ECW or were struggling to do last time I watched any of them (that was back in early February). If ROH can do matches like this with no gimmick finishes or run-ins then they stand a very good chance of poaching fans from both TNA and WWE.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 19th Mar 09 reviewed

Show opens with Kurt Angle & the MEM including the masked Scott Steiner hiding the "injuries" received from Samoa Joe at the PPV. Jeff Jarrett refuses to book a tagmatch & its left to Mick Foley to book the "dream" tagmatch which will be tonights main event. More on that later.

Tag Match - The Motor City Machine Guns vs No Limit (with Kiyoshi). The Guns wore their IWGP Junior Tag Team title belts to the ring just to rub it in as they had won them from No Limit who are Yujiro Takahashi & Tetsuya Naito. This was a really good match but got better when No Limit were on top, Naito's bridging German Suplex to Sabin was a definate hard move as Sabin was holding the back of his head as he got up and it didn't look like an attempt to sell either. Naito took the eventual win off Sabin after reversing a hurricanra into a small package. Excellent match.

Beer Money call out Team 3D and all the gold (TNA Tag belts & IWGP Tag belts) will be up for grabs at the Lockdown PPV.

Knockout Tag Match - Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs ODB & Taylor Wilde. At the start of this match they showed Cody Deaner, the man who had won the "1 Night With ODB" at the PPV. ODB & Saeed bumped and worked each other well, Wilde made an excellent hurricanrana on Saeed & Kong sold a great top turnbuckle dropkick off Wilde. Kong went for a standing press and Wilde wriggled out turning it into a modified schoolboy roll-up for the win. ODB was given a post match Implant Buster which lead to Cody Deaner jumping the guardrail to prevent a 2nd one which was a predictable work to start to get his character more involved in TNA as he is a wrestler as reported in the PPV catch-up.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Samoa Joe. This match was WWE style and lasted all of 5 seconds before Joe was pulled off Bashir by the ref who took one in the chops for his trouble meaning Bashir got the win as Joe was DQ'd. Pointless bit of storyline thats not going anywhere and is resulting in truly s***ty matches that are only hurting Joes status in TNA.

Madison Rayne (with The Beautiful People) vs The Governor (WCW's Queen Of Scream, Daffney). A really scrappy match, I'm not sure if Daffney is really ring rusty or if Rayne isn't as polished as her SHIMMER profile suggests. It must be hard for Daffney to be able to make any decent moves in that suit as its really not designed to stretch in ways a wrestler would subject it to and she always wrestles barefoot with ankle strappings so it must be hard to get any kind grip on the canvas to run at all. The Governor took the win off a nice inside cradle but got a postmatch beatdown and haircut.

Kurt Angle & Sting vs Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley. This is the dream match as promised earlier in the show. Poor match that should have been thrown out on a DQ for outside intereference as soon as MEM Security got involved and got even worse after a c**p & predictable ref bump, Foley beaned Sting with a chair to take the win. P**s poor match where they had no clue what they were going to do or how to fill the 11 or so minutes they had until the end of the show. Sting calls out Foley for a match at Lockdown to fill some of the remaining 5 minutes of airtime.

My TNA Catch-up, Destination X PPV 09

6 Woman Knockout Tag Match - The Beautiful People & Madison Rayne vs Taylor Wilde, Roxxi & "The Governor" AKA WCW Queen Of Scream, Daffney. I assume the guy doing the introductions was either caught off guard or his mike was on the fritz as he introduced the faces here. West & Tenay bantered and Sky & Daffney kicked this off, can anyone confirm if Mottolla was at this PPV taping as some idiot in the front row behind the ring was holding a sign that read "Botchmania 71 = This Match", what a f**king retard judging a match that had barely started like that. It wasn't actually a bad match with Roxxi bumping well for Love & Sky, Wilde getting a nice run too and Daffney making what to appeared be her 1st slingshot crossbody block over the top ropes (which probably would have looked a lot better if she'd worn a proper ring outfit with some stretch & a pair of boots with grip). Roxxi sold a good looking Enzuigiri off Rayne but Wilde took the eventual win off a nice bridging suplex on Rayne in a match that could have done with being about twice as long as it was.

Brutus Magnus vs Eric Young. Young is introduced by Petty Officer 3rd Class Jesse Neal (actually a graduate of the Team 3D Wrestling Academy according to 411Mania.com, in case you couldn't tell from his VERY long hair over his collar), this was an open challenge match from Magnus & someone in the gallery was a bit keen throwing up his intro graphic before the previous backstage segment had finished, also yet again there were mic issues with the introductions for this match. I realise such things happen on live tv but when you f**k up the 1st intro you'd think the director would quickly make sure the same thing didn't happen again on the same PPV. I wasn't exactly sure who was supposed to be jobbing to whom here or who was supposed to be getting over, both guys had a fairly decent match with Magnus taking the eventual win by The Tormentum off the 2nd rope.

Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out to whine that he's not on tonights card and Jim Cornette shoots him down.

Match Of 10,000 Tacks - Matt Morgan vs Abyss. The rules are simple, the winner is whoever puts the other guy into the thumbtacks. Sadly the result of this was pretty obvious as soon as Morgan took his robe off as I felt there was no way in hell he was going to take a fall into the thumbtacks in just his skin. Morgans main issue since day 1 in TNA is he doesn't bump and neither does he job, he just doesn't seem to like putting other people over at his own expense. As predicted Morgan took the win using The Carbon Footprint to put Abyss into the 2 beds of thumbtacks he'd positioned by the side of the entrance ramp.

The Winner of One Night With ODB is announced, the 3 finalists were Cody Deaner (Ontario wrestler Cody Steele who worked the Gold Medal Challenge against Kurt Angle in WWE according to Ewrestling.news.com), Shark Boy & Bernie Weber, a mortgage consultant (TNA Vice President of Marketing Mike Weber according to 411Mania.com). After the dance off (where Shark Boy channelled Norman Smiley & Jay Lethal) the cameraman enjoyed an EXTREME closeup of ODB's amazing rack and she chose Cody Deaner as the winner.

Womens Knockout Championship Match - Sojourner Bolt vs Awesome Kong (With Raisha Saeed). Bolt actually got booed and there were shouts of "You Suck" as she came to the ring, this was way too short & Bolt got to put up little offence before trying a Hurricanrana which Kong caught her from and turned into The Awesome Bomb for a pretty quick and EXTREMELY predictable win.

Scott Steiner vs Samoa Joe. Should WWE be suing for gimmick infringment here as I almost called him Umaga, Steiner bladed VERY early (in the opening moments) and Joe was doing very well to get a PPV spot as his comeback match to TNA after a short break off "injured" (actually with his wife & new baby), Steiner got the win in a few a minutes after Joe was DQ'd for throwing the ref out of the ring and this was a match that was never really ever going to get started. Joe did take Steiner out through the crowd & out of the arena so expect lots more of this cr**py sounding feud.

Legends Championship (AKA Belt I Bought) AJ Styles vs Booker T (With Sharmell). Bookers usual low level of performance bought WAY up by Styles who won off a Pele which lead to the Styles Clash and AJ Styles is the new Legends Champion.

Tag Team Championship - Beer Money vs Team 3D. With yet another "Off The Wagon" challenge where the loser leaves TNA, as no announcements have been made by Ray or Devon this match was only going 1 of 2 ways with either 3D winning by DQ or Beer Money losing the belts. 3D had the match and as predicted Storm got Beer Money DQ'd by using a chair until Cornette stepped in and restarted the match stipulating no DQ. Storm was about get pinned after a 3D when Roode yanked out the ref, carried Storm off over his shoulder and took the belts (Don West passed them to him) and left the arena with Cornette in hot pursuit, Team 3D took the win off a count out.

X Division Championship Ultimate X Match - Consequences Creed vs Chris Sabin v Alex Shelley vs Jay Lethal vs Suicide. The rules are simple, whoever gets the belt and lands in the ring with it is the champ. Chris Daniels was in the Suicide costume tonight and this is the actual match debut of the Suicide character so Kaz who will eventually play him must be really happy. A few fans were obviously in the know as I heard chants of "Fallen Angel" which neither West nor Tenay acknowledged in any way at all. For me the moves of the match were Suicide doing a cross bodyblock off the apron whilst carrying Consequences Creed across his shoulders, Sabins jump off Shelleys back to spike Creed off the X, the 4 man Tower Of Doom, Lethal Powerbombing Suicide off the X, Sabins Tornado DDT on Lethal and Shelley hitting Sliced Bread on Creed as Sabin Powerbombed him at the same time. Suicide made an amazing dive from the corner to the middle of the X to knock Lethal, Creed & Sabin off, undid the belt and dropped to the ring to become new X Division Champion in his very 1st match.

World Heavyweight Championship - Kurt Angle vs Sting (they STILL haven't fixed those clips of upside down rain in Stings video package?). Jeff Jarrett was special guest referee here with Mick Foley as the special guest enforcer to ensure the other MEM members didn't get up to any shenanagins and pre-match rumours had abounded that there would be some sort of swerve by either Foley or Jarrett and oddly enough Sting came out of the heels tunnel tonight. Not a great match by either guys standards, too long as well at around 15 minutes or so. Angle clotheslined Jarrett after Sting ducked (how many times do I have to say it "All ref bumps are S**T") and it allowed Sting to hit the Scorpion Deathlock that Angle actually tapped out of (and Foley MUST have felt that on the canvas) but with no ref the match went on with Foley taking the helm, Foley made a fair 2 count so Angle kicked him in the balls (you have to question why the timekeeper didn't then ring the bell as that was pretty much an instant DQ right there for Angle) and you knew as soon as Foley grabbed hold of the chair Angle had taken into the ring he was going to "accidentally" bean Sting with it because you could see the move coming from a mile away. Angle slammed Foley and revived Jarrett but Sting still kicked out at 2 and 99/100ths. Angle spat in Jarretts face & slapped him (should have DQ'd him for either of those) but Jarrett punched Angle back which allowed Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop and take the win retaining his title.

Not a very good PPV, the Ultimate X match saved this from being bog awful.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 12th Mar 09 reviewed

I wasn't sleeping (no shock there, I doubt I'll sleep before its daylight here) so I wrote the catch-up.

Show opens with Kurt Angle venting his spleen against Jeff Jarrett. Mick Foley & BG James prevent him from entering the ring and Foley tries to be the voice of reason to Angle.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Rhino. Well we were 15 minutes into Impact before even getting a sniff of the 1st match, little wonder theres only around 30 mins of actual wrestling each week. This week I won't be bothering to do the sums or log match durations. Don West comes out to take his place on the colour desk not long after this kicked off as Tenay was already on his own. Rhino took a fairly quick win off a schoolboy roll up.

6 Man Tag Match - Matt Morgan & Beer Money vs Abyss & Team 3D. No stipulation was made about this being an elimination match but Devon was eliminated by James Storm, Storm got himself DQ'd & Robert Roode was eliminated by Brother Ray hitting a nice sit out powerbomb. Ray was eliminated moments later when Matt Morgan made a very good chokeslam. Both Morgan & Abyss made fairly scrappy looking chokeslams on each other and neither did a very good job is selling them either, Morgan took the win off The Carbon Footprint.

Don West walks out after Tenay dares him to.

Madison Rayne (With Cute Kip & The Beautiful People) vs Taylor Wilde (With Roxxi & The Govenor). It was nice to see Traci Brooks back on tv as referee in this match, Mick Foley had come out to join Mike Tenay at the announce desk. Rayne was getting herself some great cheap heat & the Impact drones were booing her like crazy. Wilde got the win off a roll-up with slight assistance from Traci after Rayne tried to hold onto her several times then Traci pushed her down. Nice save by Roxxi & The Governor (it really is good to seem them letting Daffney work in-ring, if only it was under her own name) after crotching Cute Kip who sold well for them. Also a nice fluff by Foley forgetting Kips character and calling him Kip James before correcting himself quickly.

Booker T comes out to gob off at Foley before leaving which allows Steiner to jump Foley with the lead pipe.

8 Man Tag Match - Lethal Consequences & LAX vs - Scott Steiner, Booker T & The Motor City Machine Guns. The Guns were pretty much showing where their loyalty lies here by teaming with the MEM against half a Front Line team. Hernandez took the eventual win for his team with a Border Toss on Chris Sabin.

Rocco (with Sal & Kurt Angle) vs Eric Young (With Sting) - If Rocco looks a bit familiar but your struggling to place him he used to be Big Tilly, one half of Phi Delta Slam (who have worked in TNA before but are better known from WWE). Sting even came out of the faces entrance with Young showing he is now more a face than a heel. Young made a good win off the Death Valley Driver. Dull and predictable post match beatdown on Sting where Foley tries to make the save only to be jumped by Steiner. Jarrett comes out & beans Sal & Rocco with chairshots then Sting physically saves Nash and Steiner from getting creamed. Jarrett calls an end to the madness by saying he will be special guest ref at this weekends PPV and Foley will be special guest enforcer.

No summary this week, I think everyone already knows how I feel about too few matches that don't last long enough.

Movie Review - Watchmen

Like Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy and Alien 3 this film was in development hell for a very long time before an extended legal battle finally allowed its appearance on the silver screen. It may had made millions in both the US and UK box offices already but its still not a very good movie.

Based on an extremely obscure cult comic book series set in a parallel universe it catalogues the lives of a set of retired super heroes on a world where vigilante super heroes have now been outlawed after 40 years of service to their countries and their planet. Now someone is hunting them down and kills one then frames another for murder, the US is on the brink of Nuclear war with Russia (the movie is set in 1985 where Richard Nixon is serving his 3rd term in office) and the nuclear clock is set at 5 minutes to midnight.

The movie constantly moves forwards and backwards in time with no thought given to anyone who has never read the comics or knows nothing about The Watchmen, characters aren't explained very well and one in particular is made to seem very ambiguous about not being a very good person (The Comedian who I actually thought was being played by Robert Downey Jr) as we see him assassinate JFK and help end the Vietnam war, he is also seen to kill American civilians in the 1970's civil unrest race riots and appears to be enjoying his work far too much.

With the constant movement in time you are never exactly sure who is who and what is going on, characters aren't given the chance to develop onscreen much and your going to spend almost all of the over 2 and a half hours of the movies duration being extremely confused.

Confused and bored, as the very poorly explained plot (what little there actually is of it) is interspersed with fast action sequences almost immediately followed with long drawn out scenes full of very dull dialogue. Its very badly paced indeed, no thought seems to have given to how the movie should play out and it also seems to have not been cut at all. You get the feeling that what you are watching is everything the director filmed and nothing has been left on the cutting room floor.

The film does show characters like Dr Manhatten (at least you see how he gets his powers) developing a clean alternative to nuclear power & fossil fuels much to the chagrin of various captains of industry, this project is being funded and assisted by the 1st super heroes to ever reveal his real identity Adrian Veidt formerly known as Ozymandias.

The film has a few twists and turns which will catch non comic book fans off guard and ends with Russia & America uniting against a common enemy. I wont reveal who that is or any of the twists but if you can follow the film for any longer than 5 minutes at a time then your doing a lot better than I was.

The special effects are amazing but considering the films budget was $150 million they darn well should be, sadly it seems all the money was squandered on effects and nothing went on a decent script or hiring someone to adapt the comic books to a format that the non comic book geek could easily understand.

Terry Gilliam said it best when he stated the idea of making Watchmen "was unfilmable" and that by "Reducing the story to a two or two-and-a-half hour film seemed to me to take away the essence of what Watchmen is about.". When someone who made great almost unimaginable movies like 12 Monkeys, Brazil & Baron Munchausen tells you your concept is "unfilmable" then you should really listen to him.

Watchmen is a visual spectacle that is too long, badly cut, exceptionally badly paced and very badly adapted. More could be been done with Rorschachs narration which could have been utilised to explain the characters much better, also to have dropped the original Minutemen from the movie completely as their appearance just confuses the viewer as to who you are watching.

I guess if the movie is watched with brain disengaged most viewers will enjoy it on the action and effects alone but will get bored during the quiet moments and start to fidget way before it gets anywhere close to the closing titles. Cutting about 45 minutes out of the film would vastly improve its watchability and pacing, in its current form the nicest thing I can say is that it is bearable but only just. Personally I was left wishing for movies like Howard The Duck & Masters Of The Universe, thats how little I enjoyed this film.

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, 5th Mar 09 reviewed

Show opens with Don West refusing to change his position from last week. Mick Foley comes out to introduce Sting and thank him for saving him & for getting him over in WCW. Nash, Steiner & Booker come out yack.

Rough Cut Segment on Ultimate X.

X Division Championship Match - Kiyoshi (with new Japanese tag team No Limit, Yujiro Takahashi & Tetsuya Naito bringing a fresh influx of talent from the New Japan wrestling promotion) vs Alex Shelly (with Chris Sabin). Despite being in rather a heel role at the moment Shelley is clearly over (at least with a few female fans who were the only people chanting for him) but generally the crowd was pretty quiet & unresponsive during this match. Shelley took the eventual win off a Frogsplash in 4:20, I'd preferred to have seen more holds & reversals as well as some intereference from No Limit. The lights stayed out after the entrance by Suicide (unsure if that was Chris Daniels or if Kaz has recovered fully yet, looked more like Daniels though) as he was struggling to get himself free of the zipline.

4 Corner Knockout Tag Match - The Beatiful People (with Cute Kip) vs Raisha Saeed & Awesome Kong vs Rhaka Khan & Sojourner Bolt vs Taylor Wilde & Roxxi (with "The Governor" better known as WCW's Queen Of Scream Daffney who is WAY overdue to drop that character & start wrestling in her own right). Roxxi having her run against everyone else was pretty impressive as was Wilde bumping & selling for The Beautiful People, The Governor making a wicked snap suplex on Love showing Daffney still has the moves however Love won after hitting the Lights On on Roxxi after Madison Rayne interfered with a dropkick in an above average match that lasted 3:27. We didn't see enough of Khan & Bolt or Saeed & Kong, it seemed they only used this match to further the character of Madison Rayne but hopefully her involvement will finally allow Daffney to drop The Govenor character.

Booker T, Scott Steiner & Sharmell come out to waffle. Samoa Joe uses the fakest knife I've ever seen (people were complaining about THAT? It looks like its made of plastic or cardboard). West walks out on Tenay for a 2nd week running as Kurt Angle beats on Jay Lethal. Abyss in another session with "Dr Stevie".

Matt Morgan vs Shane Sewell - I'm not exactly sure who this match was supposed to help or get over, it was a case of expecting a run-in from either Sheik Abdul Bashir (for Sewell) or Abyss (for Morgan). This was mainly Sewell selling & bumping for Morgan who took the eventual win off the Hellavator in 4:11, not a very good match at all although I marked for the "Bring Back Sabu" sign in the front row behind Morgan as he made his rant about Abyss.

Tag Team Championship - Beer Money vs LAX. This is yet another "Off The Wagon" Challenge where if the challengers lose whoever is pinned leaves TNA. I wasn't aware of any announcements from either Homicide or Hernandez so the outcome of this was an unknown for the 1st time in 3 weeks. Homicide being Border Tossed out of the ring onto Beer Money was followed by one of TNA's now legendary badly timed commercial breaks, Homicide was on the wrong end of Beer Moneys attention as they came back & he bumped and sold very well indeed. Hernandez had Storm up for the Border Toss after spitting beer into his eyes but Roode came in & beaned him across the back with a chair which lead to the ref calling for the bell with the match going to LAX getting a win by DQ in 5:54, I had the feeling it'd go this way so Beer Money keep the titles & LAX both get their Feast Or Fired shots & it took Team 3D to make the save.

Kurt Angle comes out to voice his opinions to Jeff Jarrett.

Jeff Jarrett vs Kurt Angle - Not a match (no referee or bell), just a plain old slugfest which went out of the ring & into the crowd very quickly, it eventually resulted in Jarrett physically throwing Angle out of the arena in a set-to that lasted 3:43.

Summary :- Of this weeks 2 hr broadcast 31:03 was spent in commercial breaks, 4 actual matches lasted 18:32 in duration and a set-to that lasted 3:43 which if included gave us 22:15 of actual action which was STILL less than the amount of time spent in commercial breaks and less than 1/4 of the show comprised of any actual wrestling. Again I say this is a trend that MUST STOP NOW! At LEAST 5 or 6 matches per show with matches that are at LEAST 8 minutes long. If TNA talent can't fill an 8 minute match then they deserve to be fired. STOP THE ROT NOW!

Movie review - 5ive (aka Five)

This is a 50's B&W movie "a story about the day after tomorrow" according to the helpful graphic displayed over images of nuclear detonations and it also states "The deadly wind passeth over it and it is gone; And the place thereof shall know it no more" (from Psalm 103:15-16, it seems even our biblical ancestors were obsessed by thoughts of our own self destruction). Famous global landmarks are shown to appear and disappear in clouds with screams echoing in the background to clearly illustrate this was a global conflict effecting ALL nations equally.

Our cameras then zoom in to the figure of a solitary woman staggering exhausted in the wind to discover a skeleton in a car. She continues alone until finding a town where the church bell is tolling discovering it was only the wind, we also see a newspaper report warning of a new bomb that could potentially wipe out all life on Earth.

Coming across a stilted house (designed by architect Frank Lloyd Wright and owned by the film's director Arch Oboler) she seeks shelter and discovers there is a fire and meets a man, promptly fainting like a typical 50's woman in a badly written role. After coming round he says his name is Michael Rogan and he realises she has some connection to the house as there are photographs of her there.

Rogan describes his end of the world experience in The Empire State Building (clearly the bombs weren't nukes although he mentions radioactive dust so we're clearly dealing with either a lack of knowledge or just plain bad science). She explains she was in an X-ray room in hospital and woke up alone then finally tells us her name is Roseanne (Rogans theory that the walls were lead lined and she survived the radioactivity that way matched my guess) and the house belonged to her Aunt (mothers sister she says).

He takes her on a trip to a local store for food and she freaks out on the way (more evidence of a badly written typically hysterical 50's female role), Rogan also manages to freak her out by showing her a box of "Atomic Suds" washing powder just to reinforce her stereotype a bit further. After pouring out his heart about how he hated New York back at the house he assumes a lot and tries to impose himself on Roseanne leaving her crying hysterically over her dead husband Steven.

Roseanna does start to look visibly pregnant but no mention is made of her condition, Rogan just refers to "it" as though he can't even bring himself to either say baby or pregnant. After telling her the world and everyone in it are dead they both hear a car horn beeping and run to the road to find 2 more men in a jeep who turn out to be Oliver P. Barnstable (thats not how he pronouces it though, who was a former bank cashier) and Charles (who I assumed isn't introduced to the pregnant white lady on account of him being a Negro but was possibly a security guard or commissionaire judging by his unform) who both survived the bombs because they'd been locked in the banks vault.

We don't find out Charles' name until a little later that evening and he politely always refers to Roseanne as Ma'am acting in a very subserviant way reflecting the mood of the time this was made (1951) and no-one ever thinks to ask Charles his surname but Roseanne does ask if he had a family. The conversation between Roseanne & Barnstable shows he hasn't accepted his situation and still thinks everything will return to normal, his comment about his injuries is a rather clear sign of radiation sickness though.

Rogan makes the same diagnosis citing images of Hiroshima as his information source which leaves both him & Charles to start checking themselves for similar symptoms. Rogan & Charles discuss the possibility of getting a generator and Roseanne informs them Barnstaple is awake and wishes to go to the ocean. After the group travel there Rogan asks Roseanne when shes due to give birth (He can't even bring himself to ask that much, just saying "when does" and trailing off there) but she's not sure and thinks 3 months maybe (again reinforcing her as a sterotypically dumb '50s woman).

Whilst reminiscing on the beach they witness a man washed up on the shore who Rogan & Charles drag out of the sea as he is unconcious. After recovering he tells us (in an incredibly silly and impossible to place accent) that he was on Everest, stranded for 5 days before descending and crossing Asia then sailing to Hawaii (thats a journey of over 7000 miles as the crow flies according to Google Earth) before flying a plane to America that ran out of fuel. After finishing his story Charles calls them over to reveal Barnstable had died.

We finally discover our newest group member is called Eric (Roseanne calls him by his name as she is tending to him) and Charles reveals their attempts at agriculture have been successful (In a great goof you can clearly hear birds singing in the background despite the fact that Roseanne had clearly said there were no birds or animals left alive in the previous scene mere moments before).

Charles & Rogan further progress by succeeding with their generator project providing them with music and light but Eric never works and thinks he is above the rest of the group calling the food they eat "swill" (His accent constantly comes as goes as well). Eric also questions why they are all alive (clearly he'd never been told Rogan was aboard an elevator in the middle of The Empire State Building so he'd have the thickness of both building and elevator & shaft to protect him, pretty logical really) stating immunity from the radiation saved them offering a glimmer of hope that others may have also survived.

Rogan tries to act as the logical voice of reason but Eric plays the emotion card stating Roseanne needs to know if her husband is alive or not. After Rogan storms out Charles wonders about travelling to the city as well and Eric reveals he is an ignorant bigot and attacks Charles (which injures Roseane sending her into what I assume was an incredibly badly acted early labour).

After a stormy night we have a wonderful dawn as Charles cites his creation story which ends hearing by a babies crying as the 1st child born into the new world is a boy and Roseanne procrastinates about naming him until she discovers the fate of his probably dead father.

Eric returns from his extremely short self imposed exile acting as though nothing has happened and tries to ingratiate himself with Roseanne by bringing her gifts, claims his actions were caused by tension and promises to help with repairs but returns to his lazy ways doing nothing as Rogan works.

Rogan tries again to discuss having a relationship with Roseanne, a conversation ended by them seeing a vulture flying in the sky (I assume it was a vulture from Rogans "filthy scavengers" comment) and we discover Eric has destroyed their attempt to grow crops (Charles tells Rogan but they choose to keep the information from Roseanne) and Rogan confronts him telling him to leave.

Eric reveals he has a gun and says he'll go when he wants to. Roseanne finally accepts her feelings for Rogan but calls him Steven as they are in a passionate embrace before realising her faux pas and leaving him looking like a lemon. Eric calls on Roseanne in the night and cons her into going with him by saying he doesn't know what her husband looks like (so the writer very convienently forgot the photograph Rogan found?) by playing off her emotions of Rogans desire to not leave.

Charles discovers Eric leaving & is murdered by Eric and it appears Roseanne had named her baby calling him Tony as she soothes him. Rogan discovers the body of Charles and the empty house with a note left by Roseanne. As they drive through the city she is haunted by the sound of sirens (imagined in her head I assumed to yet further reinforce her role as hopeless woman but they appeared to be real and must have been severly sapping whatever powered them).

She enters the building where her husband works (and we finally discover her surname is Rogers almost 2/3's of the way into the movie!) but she finds his office empty, she also returns to the hospital where she was getting her x-rays and we see a mark of the era as she is listed as "Mrs Steven Rogers" and not under her own name. She eventually discovers a body in the hospital waiting room and Eric reveals his true colours showing his impatience (stupidly asking "where have you been" knowing full well what the answer was) and showing off stolen jewellery to try and impress her.

He tells her his true motivation and she starts to walk away but when he runs after her she tears his shirt revealing he is suffering from radiation sickness causing him to freak out & abandon her completely. Roseanne starts back to the house on foot travelling for several days and I'm not exactly sure what causes her to start ripping off the babies clothes but I assume it was because he had died (from the radiation in the city or the water she was feeding him).

She does finally meet back up with Rogan who finds her sitting on the road rocking the baby in a rainstorm and she tells him the baby is dead. They return to the house and bury him next to Charles and the film just tails off after she goes to help him in their garden with another Bible quote "And I saw a new heaven and a new earth, And there shall be now more death, No more sorrow, No more tears. Behold! I make all things new" (Revelation 21).

Its not a great ending to a particularly good movie with far too many sterotypes and rather badly written roles for all involved. Worth a look at how 50's America felt and thought even if they are all rather outdated ideas & concepts now.