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Friday, May 8, 2009

My Weekly TNA Catch-up, Impact 7th May 09 reviewed

This week I have tried to catalogue everything that happens during the show just to show how much of it isn't wrestling.
Show opens with the MEM coming out to spout whatever views on the mic. Kurt Angle calls Mick Foley out, Foley comes out with Daniels and addresses their issues. Jeff Jarrett comes out with AJ Styles to say more stuff. Video package following up on if Chris Daniels is Suicide or not (he was, he isn't now).
Consequences Creed (with Jay Lethal) vs Suicide. In this non-title X Division match this was almost certainly Kaz in the costume as there was no zipline entry this week so Kaz is still nervous about his old injury. Fairly average match, both guys sold each well and Suicide managed to avoid any hard bumps or aerials but Suicide took the eventual win off a Jawbreaker.
Backstage s**te between Foley & Matt Morgan and that Smashing Pumpkins vid they show every f**king week, if TNA REALLY wanted to save money they'd stop showing this as they must be paying Billy Corgan & his mates a s**itload in royalties every time its aired. Plus it takes up time they could be having an actual match in. More backstage s**te with The Beautiful People. Sit down interview with the MEM. Yet more backstage s**te with Taylor Wilde then Jeff Jarrett.
2 on 1 Handicap Match - Sally Boy & Big Rocco vs Matt Morgan. Not really a handicap match as such, Rocco & Sal were acting as a tagteam against Morgan on his own. This was pretty dull (clearly no-one involved had a clue how to work this match) and Morgan took the pretty quick win off The Carbon Footprint. If they'd bothered working out some sort of program before hand this might have been a half decent match, as it was it didn't really get Morgan or the MEM Security guys over in any way at all.
More backstage s**te with Foley, Webography with Robert Roode. Backstage s**te with Eric Young & Jethro Holliday. Team 3D come down to the colour desk for the next match.
3D Tag Team Invitational Semifinal - Beer Money vs Eric Young & Jethro Holliday. Brother Ray managed to shoot on Hollidays partners "travel problems" (knowing full well Hollidays new partner Lance Cade hasn't worked out his 30 day no compete clause from WWE yet) then called Holliday by his real name (Murdoch) before very quickly correcting himself. Young & Roode worked well together starting this one off and it was pretty even until Roode hit a nice spinebuster (It was also interesting to hear Tenay mention a comment by WWE's Jim Ross and asking Team 3D's opinion on it. It's weird to hear Team 3D and the colour guys openly talking about JR and WWE like that, I bet WWE would fire any announcer making reference to any other wrestling franchise on a WWE owned show.) as Young was double teamed and sold it well.
Young had a comeback but his belly to belly suplex was very sloppy indeed (I think he'd blown up by that point unless Roode hadn't fancied selling it) and the ref checked on him after it (seems Young was the cause of the flub then?). Holliday came in and worked both of Beer Money on his own with Storm selling a nice Bulldog (whilst Team 3D had been putting The British Invasion over on the commentary), after a bit of miscommunication with Holliday Young was hit with a Super Kick then the DWI which allowed Storm to make the pin and Beer Money progress into the finals of this tournament.
Backstage s**te from Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed. Webography with James Storm. Video flashback to last weeks Knockout Stretcher Match.
Knockout Stretcher Match - Velvet Sky (with Angelina Love) vs Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed). Same rules as last week, 1st person to put their opponant on the stretcher for a 10 count takes the win. Kong has finally altered the "cut" braids of hair integrating them into her other plaits, as yet theres no sign of the haircut that Hack-man posted a picture of. Ref Earl Hebner started by sending Saeed & Love back to the locker room to ensure a fair fight here.
Sky started out with a volley of punches that had no effect before Kong hit a clothesline followed by a second after Sky dodged the attempt on The Awesome Bomb. After a few stomps Kong hit The Implant Buster following up with another one, fans chanted "One more time" and Kong obliged with a 3rd Implant Buster before throwing Sky onto the stretcher only to drag her off after a 3 count. Kong hit a fourth Implant Buster following the stomps with a 5th putting her back on the stretcher dragging Sky off after a 5 count to hit The Awesome Bomb, Hebner made the fastest 10 count in history and Kong took the easy win.
Backstage s**te - Abyss with "Dr Stevie", Daffney makes an appearance. Lethal Consequences come out to get involved in the "Who is Suicide really" angle and call Daniels out. Some of Lethals comments very nearly make Creed laugh (you see him struggle to contain a laugh when Lethal says "Your Kabuki!"), I guess they are setting Daniels up as a heel then and the shoot on Lethals gimmick wasn't totally unfair. The Motor City Machine Guns come out to add their 2 cents worth but theres still no Daniels & Suicide in the same ring so I guess they are trying to kick the arse out this idea and are still holding that back. Backstage s**ite with Jarrett & Sting, backstage s**te with Angelina Love. MEM video package.
10 Man Tag Match - Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, Booker T, Kevin Nash & Sting (with Sharmell & Jenna Morasca) vs Samoa Joe, Daniels, AJ Styles, Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley. Jarrett had put his arms up for his pyro and Foley came out instead of the pyro going off so Jarrett stood there looking stupid and pissed off at Foley for stealing his thunder. By the time the bell had gone there was a maximum of 10 minutes of tv air time left for this match which was a complete waste of time booking all these 10 into a match only 10 minutes long. Very dull, all the MEM team got time in the ring and only Jarrett didn't enter the match (at least not legally) for his team and Sting took the win for the MEM off Foley after Jarrett had given Foley the Stroke into the barbed wire baseball bat. Sting says he'll be in the 4 way title match at the Sacrifice PPV and says it'll be a career ending match if someone pins him at Sacrifice

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