Movie Review - St. Trinian's

I'll admit I was curious as to how they thought they could get away with setting this in modern day. Times have changed as has the Education system and with School League tables a place like the classic St. Trinians would be shut down in days. Rupert Everett certainly plays a woman better than he plays a man (playing both Miss Camilla Fritton and her Brother). The 1st introduction to all the cliques within the student population instantly destroys any credibility this movie might have had. St. Trinians had very strict divides on where students went, this has them all living in the same room regardless of age.

I'm assuming Annabelle is supposed to be a 6th Former? Russell Brand looks OK as Flash Harry but the idea of him asking a schoolgirl out for a meal? Very dodgy ground to be treading on. We're then introduced to the new English teacher Miss Dickinson (Lena Headey, of 300 fame) as well as the rest of the teachers and get to see more of the school and hear more about their financial problems (they can't afford to pay the teachers). As for the younger girls attacking the Cheltenham Team Coach, school kids just wouldn't get away with that today. They'd be arrested for criminal damage. Modern laws are a lot harder than when the original films were made and kids would get a stern talking to or clip around the ear.

After the hockey match (a weak attempt to be Old School St. Trinians) the school is declared bankrupt. The cigarette lighter/gun joke wasn't funny and also very predictable before it was ever lit. After this we find Annabelle's dad wants to sell the school setting him up against her and him as a bad guy. Once the need to raise money has been mooted as an idea they decide to steal a painting under the guise of a School Trip. The cheap Colin Firth joke in the gallery totally isn't funny. As soon as School Challenge is mentioned again the very tenuous link to being able to get into the gallery is solved far too easily.

A nice cameo by Stephen Fry as the presenter of School Challenge (almost a kind of QI for kids!), but they were obviously going to have cheated (stealing the questions, drugging their opponents, tiring their opponents out with sex) in order to make the finals. Who rather predictably are against Cheltenham (who they played hockey against earlier) so we know who to expect to see there. Obviously when the minister takes the press to see how bad St. Trinians is they pull the old switch-a-roo and nothing but good things are seen as they tour around the school.

Annabelle's various different makeovers aren't necessary. She's not an ugly girl, just a little plain. The cheating method (using earpieces to get answers) in the final was what I'd expected them to use from the start. Colin Firth spots the cheat and nobbles it to stop them, this exposes how dim the St. Trinians students really are. The robbery (through the lasers) is stolen from films like Entrapment, Charlies Angels, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and Tenacious D's The Pick Of Destiny so it's nothing new really.

The line breaking was obviously going to happen but if your going to steal a painting surely the most important person to escape 1st is the person carrying it? Their insulting our intelligence by this point. Obviously St. Trinians were going to win the quiz so no surprise there. The ending doesn't really make up for a generally bad film with Flash Harry selling a fake painting painted by Camilla to her brother and the school pretending to find the real painting to claim the reward so they got more money than they needed to save the school. Colin Firth's nude yawn is stolen wholesale out of Notting Hill. With a final ending musical cameo by Girls Aloud it ends a really bad film that only kids are going to enjoy.