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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Movie Review - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake)

it's the 70's, kids on a road-trip have bought drugs over the border. meet a girl walking (down the road in a catatonic state) from an unknown danger who kills herself in their van. the kids meet the local sheriff at some copper mill & Jedediah, some greasy little kid. a guy letting some of the kids call the sheriff tries it on with one girl, and her male friend comes to explore & gets killed by leatherface. sheriff shows up at the mill and is horrible. this film is very much about what you think you see, not what you actually see.

the car with it's horn jammed is a distraction from the kids van for a reason, the kid in glasses doing the fake scare is rubbish, you can tell he's faking. 2 of them go back to the danger house, the boy sneaks inside the house looking for his missing friend. the kids are clearly in more danger from the sheriff than Leatherface. no way would the kid on the meathook be able to pull it out of his own body while he was hanging on it. taking the arrested boy to the danger house shows the sheriff is involved, I assume Jedadiah loosened their tires while they were checking the jammed horn.

leatherface when he attacks the girls in the van is wearing the face of the 1st boy to be taken, the call the sheriff made was sent to leatherface. the 2 women in the trailer are weird and must know Leatherface, you assume the tea she's offered is drugged. them saying the tea will help her relax is a give-away there. which it is, she wakes up in the house with one of the woman and the sheriff, Jedediah calls her grandma, leatherface is HER son. they say leatherface is kind. everyone else is evil for teasing him. he hasn't got a NOSE! the fact that leatherface doesn't kill the final girl right away is also a give away that she's going to live.

the 2nd boy on the meat-hook could have put his feet on top of the piano and pushed himself off the hook. we weren't shown the piano earlier, mistake/goof? You can't tell if Jedadiah is trying to help her and Morgan or suckering them into another trap (which it seems like to me). Them running into an abandoned house like place where he carves an X in the door (a reference to Freddy or Jason?) and she hides him in a closet and hides in a crawl space herself.

Oh, and how can a chainsaw keep running when it's dropped (I'd have assume the engine would stop right away). leatherface kills the boy after hanging him from a chandelier (again, you see nothing you just think you do) and of course it's the final chase of the last living girl by leather-face.

leatherface hits his thigh with chainsaw (isn't that the femoral artery?), he should die in a few minutes. he isn't going to chasing her after that little injury. and chasing to the slaughterhouse (no, he'd have bled to death by then). her going into the freezer. And you can actually see it isn't physically cold in there (her nipples aren't hard and they really should be in a freezer), she doesn't get goosebumps and she's only wearing a thin vest top.

She obviously isn't getting very wet with the sprinklers on, her top should either go see through or cling to her like a second skin and reveal her bra. After running from him for so long and successfully hiding in a locker why does she try to attract his attention. the moving locker obviously had a pig in it, so she could attack him from behind with the meat cleaver she picked up. (there is a very brief scene where you can clearly see him with one arm inside his top wearing the artificial arm she cut half off. with 1 arm cut off AND a femoral injury he's going to bleed to death or go into shock. he isn't going to carry on chasing anyone with a damn chainsaw. And even in the tipping, pouring rain her top isn't very wet.

she gets a lift from a trucker and she mirrors the way their own hitch hiker acted (and now you understand why). the trucker tries the diner for help (and the old lady calls the sheriff "junior" so you know he is part of their murderous family). she steals his car and you think she's killed the sheriff knocking him down but she definitely does by backing up over him and driving back over him a 3rd time. the scare where leather-ace attacks the stolen police car is pointless. she drives away from him & the chainsaw is revving. HOW? Leatherface has one hand, this is IMPOSSIBLE! cut back to the movie, the state police investigating the crime scene, the Hewitt house (danger house) and the final predictable scare is them getting attacked by leatherface with a voice over leaving things open enough to make a sequel of this dire and awful remake.

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