Movie Review - The Cottage

It was pretty clear from the start of this which direction the makers of this film were going to take. Especially once we were introduced to Jennifer Ellison. Yes, she's a pretty blond with a nice rack but talk about over concentrating on 1 thing. Cleavage, cleavage & more cleavage. I guess Jen must have agreed to to everything they were doing to try and get her foot in the door of movies but doing that kind of thing is only going to get her very typecast.

Andy Serkis (Dog Soldiers, Lord Of The Rings) plays his role well enough, Reece Sheersmith (The League Of Gentlemen) plays the more timid and bumbling criminal OK too, he's almost in his Ollie Plimsolls character doing this role. Basically this is 3 guys who kidnap a girl and get paid in tissue paper, the guy delivering the money is followed by Asian Hit men and their all screwed. Not as screwed as when the girl escapes taking 1 kidnapper at knife-point and they find a cottage inhabited by a murderous flesh eating farmer.

And that's all the review this awful film is getting. It's just not very good at all, the plot (what there is of it) is very thin on the ground, the gore isn't very good at all and the pacing of the film is just way too slow in all the wrong places. Oh, and the "ending" after the credits is so bad as to be unreal. I wouldn't recommend this film even if you paid me money.